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“Even After 40 Years Together”: 90 Women Share The Sweetest Proof They Found The Right Man
With roughly 40% to 50% of first marriages ending in divorce, tying the knot can be like playing Russian Roulette. Life happens, people change, and some only show their true colors years down the line. You never really know whether that once shiny apple you picked might go rotten right in front of your eyes.
But that’s not to say all marriages are doomed to disintegrate. Some age like fine wine. And there are many lucky women who truly won the husband jackpot. They don’t even need to say it… You can just tell.
Someone asked wives out there to “Show me one photo that proves you married well. Not the ring. Not the bouquet. Not the wedding dress. Just a photo that instantly says: ‘Yep, I definitely made the right choice!’” and a series of heartwarming pics followed. Bored Panda has put together the best one for you to scroll through in case you needed any proof that good guys really do still exist.
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#1
The way he looks at my son. My son has special needs. Hubby knew that before we got together (he knew me before I was a mom) and didn’t have to chose us, but he did. He loves my son as his own.
40% to 50% of first marriages end in divorce. That’s according to data from the Pew Research Center. Interestingly, divorce is actually on the decline. But then again, so is marriage.
“Four-in-ten divorces occur in the first decade of marriage; nearly a quarter occur after 25 years,” notes the site. “There is a lot of variation in how long marriages that end in divorce last, but many end in the first decade.”
But despite all this, many people are choosing to get back on the proverbial horse. Data reveals that about two-thirds of Americans who have divorced have gone on to remarry.
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#2
My husband said vows to my then 4 year old, too, at our wedding, and gave her a locket.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the place.
#3
Reading a bedtime story to our daughter every single one of the 35 nights she spent in the NICU.
If marriage is somewhat of a gamble nowadays, how do you know you’ve found “the one”?
According to Dr. John Gottman, who has over 50 years of research under his belt, “lasting love isn’t about finding someone perfect—it’s about finding someone perfectly suited to grow alongside you.”
Gottman says that we can be compatible with several people but that doesn’t mean the relationship will necessarily last. He explains that compatibility is something you build together through conscious choices, shared experiences, and mutual commitment to growth.
“The one” is the person you choose to build a life with, day after day, reveals the expert: “It’s the person you turn toward instead of away from during conflicts. It’s the person whose hand you reach for during both celebrations and sorrows.”
#6
My husband planned an entire vacation for this sweet boy we rescued, that had spent 10yrs getting mistreated and neglected. He lives like a king now.
Gottman believes there are certain proven signs that will tell you you’re with the person you’re meant to share your life with forever. “The couples who thrive together share specific patterns of connection, communication, and commitment that we can actually measure and recognize,” reveals the expert.
The first sign that you’ve found marriage material is that you enjoy spending time together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean red, hot passion.
“True connection doesn’t always feel like fireworks,” Gottman says. “Often, it feels like coming home. You know you’ve found something special when being together feels as natural as breathing—when you can sit in comfortable silence, when your partner’s presence soothes your nervous system rather than activating it.”
#7
The way he loved my ailing old pup and helped me care for him until his last day.
#9
My husband agreed to literally carry me around for weeks so that I could have double foot surgery instead of needed two separate ones.
Another sign the two of you are meant to be is if you have open communication and are able to be vulnerable with each other. Yes, there may still be disagreements. But difficult conversations won't feel like walking through a minefield. If you feel like you can share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your person and not be scared of their reaction, you might just have found "the one."
#10
The nursing degree he paid for so 1.) I wouldn’t have to take out any loans 2.) if anything ever happens to him, I still have a career I love and a way to take care of our kids.
#11
Before my hysterectomy he secretly learned how to make my favorite restaurant meal so he could make it at home as a surprise.
#12
The trophy he got me for my PhD. He also got me one for my Master’s and one for my Bachelor’s, so this had to be obscenely large.
Conflicts should feel like problems to solve together rather than battles to win. And when you do disagree, you do so productively.
"Most problems in a relationship will not be solved- in fact 69% of relationship problems are perpetual," the expert explains. "This means that successful couples learn to navigate these issues even while disagreeing. Learning to communicate through conflict productively is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship."
#14
Cancer 3x and this man sat beside me for every chemo, surgery, etc. even brought gifts to celebrate our 5th and 6th wedding anniversary on the chemo floor. 12 years together, 8 years married this week. So thankful I did not settle.
#15
None of my immediate family members were able to be with my grandpa when he was being transported from the hospital to a rehab facility in an ambulance. My husband was able to and volunteered to go ride with him so that he wouldn’t have to be alone My grandpa passed a few days later, so this picture means the world to me.
Another green flag is when your values and goals align. That doesn't mean you both like the same food, or have the same favorite color. But rather that you align on what matters most, like family, career, spirituality, money, and life priorities.
"This alignment becomes especially clear when you discuss the future," reveals Gottman. "You both want similar things—whether that’s children, career ambitions, lifestyle choices, or how you want to spend your golden years." He adds that these conversations should feel natural and not like a negotiation or compromise that leaves one person feeling unheard.
#16
Our youngest was diagnosed with brain cancer 22 months ago. We have spent a lot of time in the hospital.
The best couples not only support each others dreams and growth, but also bring out the best in each other. You should always like who you are when you're in a relationship. And if your person brings out the best version of you, you might have hit the jackpot.
Maybe you're generous, more caring, more patient, more adventurous, or generally happier. Whatever it is, your partner has created a safe space for your best qualities to flourish. They're the yin to your yang... The peanut butter to your jelly.
#19
When I was quarantined with Covid him still wanting to eat dinner or read magazines with me even though he was sitting in the hallway.
#20
He let me shave his head after we had to shave mine from chemo. He never wavered and is still by my side!
#21
I was widowed with 3 small children when I was 29, I met him a year later. This was our* oldest daughter’s wedding.
You don't just feel the change but other people notice it, too. Friends and family comment that you look happy, fulfilled and maybe even more relaxed. Gottman says while you shouldn’t choose a partner based solely on others’ opinions, it’s a good sign when those around you pick up positive changes in your happiness and behavior.
"Your closest friends and family members often have valuable perspective on your relationship patterns," he explains, adding that when people who genuinely want the best for you consistently notice your increased joy and peace, it’s worth considering.
#22
He was my rock when I had my short bout with breast cancer. This is my celebration shoot of 1 year cancer free.
#23
He told us…“I’d rather be at this picnic with you all, than any of the fanciest restaurants in the world!”
#24
Mine just spent 8 hours in the hot California sun building me these huge garden beds so I can start a tiny community garden to help my neighbors in need.
When you’re with the right person, your relationship or marriage exudes a certain level of emotional security, mutual respect, and healthy boundaries.
"You feel safe to be yourself, confident in your partner’s commitment, and secure in the relationship’s stability," Gottman says. "This security allows both of you to take risks, pursue dreams, and handle life’s challenges because you know you have a solid foundation to return to."
Have you married the perfect person? Why are you so sure? Let us know all about it in the comments section below...
#25
I went though chemo during 2020 and he couldn’t come inside the building. He drove me 2 1/2 hours each way to treatment and sat in the car for 6-8 hours each time. This is the text he sent at the end of my last day of chemo.
#26
I could write a novel about how wonderful my husband is. I’ll start with him taking on a majority of the responsibilities after having our daughter. I wasn’t even 2 weeks postpartum when my mom passed away. The way this man did almost everything for me, our daughter and our dog can never be thanked for enough.
#27
Me and my husband ringing the bell after spending a month in the hospital for cancer treatment. Going on 7 years remission and he took care of me everyday!
#28
Last day of residency, 30th birthday, the night I found out I passed my medicine board exam, all moments are celebrated to the fullest.
#29
Just a 21 year old boy that fell madly in love with a 28 year old single mama, raised her babies alongside her as his own, adopting them, walked the eldest daughter down the aisle a few years ago, and is the very best grandpa ever.
#30
I’m from Louisiana (born & raised)… we live in Georgia with NO FRESH SEAFOOD. He found a way to overnight a live sack of crawfish from Louisiana so we could have a crawfish boil in our backyard.
#31
My husband built me a camper van and then drove me and my dog to 46 states and 30+ national parks.
#32
Our youngest was born prematurely and this is him getting gowned up and then doing skin to skin till I could come down to see our girl.
#37
My husband crying during our father daughter dance, my husband crying when i walked down the aisle & lastly my husband crying when my dad said “keep my babygirl safe”.
#39
Animals flock to him like he’s Snow White.
Crystalwitch60 26 minutes ago
You can always tell a wonderful man ,when animals adore him to, you know he’s safe and genuine oh and a keeper ❤️
#40
I was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia in 2021 and was scared to tell men I dated after that. I was convinced I wouldn’t find a man who would choose to date someone with a serious chronic disease. This is my now husband in the waiting room of the cancer hospital with me 3 weeks after we started dating. Never batted an eye.
#41
This is G doing skin care with my daughter, leading my son at a Benson Boone concert that he never would’ve chosen to go to for himself, and making me breakfast as he does most days. He cares for me and my children. I made the right choice.
#42
My husband took it upon himself to learn all about pumping and how to take care of all the supplies and stuff while our firstborn was in the NICU for 75 days & there after. I never had to do anything but provide the milk until I decided to stop.
#43
Suffering HG during my pregnancy, while also grieving and terrified because we had lost our twins just 4 months before. I couldn’t even let him touch me, so he nested on the floor next to me for days. Wouldn’t even sleep 10 steps away on the couch.
#44
My husband has such a big heart he will feed or clothe any person or animal that he meets. This deer now visits us every night looking for a few minutes of his time. Aside from that- he has never raised his voice nor reprimanded our kids loudly or cruelly. He willingly participates in the upkeep of our house and care of our children. He has the kindest, and most forgiving heart of anyone I have ever met. He even helped his estranged mother when we hadn't heard from her in 5 yrs and haven't since.
#45
We had just adopted Kitty and she had been spayed. She decided who her person was right away.
#46
He made it a POINT to ensure that he and my baby matched on the day of our courthouse wedding, without any of my input.
#48
Almost every pic in my camera roll of my husband, he’s got a minimum of two tiny creatures sleeping on him. Here is the first pic of us back at home after our kid was born five years ago, for example. I am passed out. Baby passed out. Kiki passed out. Everyone is safe.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 hours ago
But who took the photo?! XD (am assuming it's one of the new baby's grandparents, who maybe came to help after the baby's birth, but still kinda funny!)
#49
This was the night he deployed. It was the most awkward time with everyone sitting with their families about to say goodbye. Our daughter was 5 weeks old, and I was focused on her so I wouldn’t be sad. He was focused on me loving her. He still gives me butterflies after 19 years.
#55
He wouldn’t let me exert myself after we had our son. We stayed by my side EVERY minute and tended to our son.
#56
He came to all of my prenatals through 2 pregnancies. With our youngest the majority of my appointments he sat in the car with our oldest because my OB office hadn’t lifted covid restrictions about children in the office yet. Our youngest is a preemie. He stayed with me on hospital bed rest then he gave up seeing our baby to take care of our oldest, so I could see our baby daily. He’d drive 40 minutes one way to drop me off at the nicu and pick me up around dinner time or bedtime for our oldest.
#58
Him and our daughter happily skipping out of the courthouse almost 7 years ago after his “step parent” adoption of her was finalized.
#60
He keeps a note on his phone of little things that make me happy/gift ideas/coffee orders. The best part? HE FOLLOWS THROUGH. He’s the bestest.
#61
He carried me across the parking lot at my son’s school bc I had heels on and didn’t want them to sink in the wet grass. He carried our son too!
#62
The night when i gave birth to our 1st baby girl and the nurse asked if he wants to be with her, and he replied "can i see my wife now? I wanna be with her" instead.
#64
Everyone should be lucky enough to have a partner who still looks at you like this. Even after 40 years together.
#65
When I was out of town for a week for two speaking engagements and he was managing his work and our 2 kids’ schedules, this is the text he sent.
#68
I had the hardest time picking just one. But I went with this picture because this man right here built a whole house for us, 90% by himself. Plus he got that cake.
#69
He paid for all of our living expenses while in grad school, so all of my salary could go towards paying for school or self care. We were not married when i started grad school. I graduated debt free! Before that he had paid thousands for my medical care as someone living with a chronic illness while we were still dating. Truly a gem.
#70
My man is not a big fan of Christmas, especially outside of December. But me and the kids do Christmas in July on 7/25 each year. His homemade cinnamon rolls are our traditional Christmas breakfast.
This year, 7/25 was a Saturday, so he wasn’t working. This man literally rolled up his sleeves and made cinnamon rolls by hand so I could watch and so we could have a special treat.
#71
He does ALL the fun stuff with me. He’s the reason I started training jiu jitsu anytime I ask (he’s a black belt) and sometimes even lets me think I “got one” on him lol. He supports my whimsy, puts up with my hangry, makes every Wednesday date night, pays attention to my love languages and, most importantly, loves my daughter like she is his own. My father passed before he had a chance to meet my man. He asked permission from my daughter before he proposed to me. We got engaged in February.
#72
I had some very bad times trying to go #2 post partum. I’m crying on the toilet, he’s holding my hand telling jokes.
#73
He stood next to my labor bed for almost the entirety of the 36 hours of labor i went through. if i was awake, so was he. right next to me through every step. (unless the nurses needed him to move, then once they were done he was right back in the same spot. i’m so grateful and thankful for my man!!!
#74
I didn’t just choose him for me, I chose him for her .. before she was even a thought we wanted to bring to life. It’s only a glimpse, but she’s 21 months and he’s just as dedicated and loving a dad .. & baby no. 2 on the way
#77
He found a stick that he brought home from work because it looked like a magic wand and he had to give it to me it’s literally the thought that counts.
#78
Will be married next year but this man bought me an American Girl doll which I wanted as a child and then he took me to the cafe and store in Chicago and it was so wonderful.
#79
Because he goes every year to take pictures with the sunflowers, even though he hates pictures and it’s always so hot!!!
#83
ANYTIME we go on a walk, no matter how long or how short, she always picks flowers along the way and gives me a tiny bouquet. It’s the small things guys.
#84
I told my husband that I got no more space for my shoes and bag so here’s a photo of my him building my shoe cabinet.
#85
Best hubbin ever. He’s always game for our sons shenanigans and mine, he makes the costumes and gives the best snuggles and he’s just THE BEST.
#87
He didn’t have the best upbringing - no one taught him how to be the best dad or husband. He learned what not to do and then did all the right things. He brings me coffee each morning, shows our daughter love with quality time and occasional flowers, our son with quiet and endearing love. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
#89
Watching him and our dog get a pedi, while I get mine. Those are my sunglasses on his shirt too.
#90
Also, this man taught me how to be weird. I love being weird with him. I wasn’t this weird before I met him. Find a man who will take unhinged selfies with you after getting a spice haul at the Asian grocery store.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 hours ago
I'm 44 but maybe it's not too late for me to find someone like this. He has to like dogs AND cats, though! XD
Crystalwitch60 25 minutes ago
Given your menagerie heheh you need a Lee Asher 👍mind you he’s well hot ,
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 26 minutes ago
Yeah I,ll pass thanks never again but I’d love other to 100% x
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 hours ago
I'm 44 but maybe it's not too late for me to find someone like this. He has to like dogs AND cats, though! XD
Crystalwitch60 25 minutes ago
Given your menagerie heheh you need a Lee Asher 👍mind you he’s well hot ,
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 26 minutes ago
Yeah I,ll pass thanks never again but I’d love other to 100% x
Load More Replies...
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