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On this Valentine’s Day, I want to share a message about the grace of being single. And I will borrow from the story of Cinderella.

No, I am not going to go on about how you need to wait for your Prince Charming to come in and upgrade your life – hang in there!

I’m going to talk instead about the glass slipper and what it symbolizes to me.

Maybe when Perrault wrote the story in 1697, he had different ideas for the metaphor of the slipper, but to me, the glass slipper is the embodiment of the perfect, crystal-clear alignment of my true needs, goals, hopes, and passions. They are rigid and inflexible and beautiful. And this slipper of mine is mine alone – crafted through magic.

And by magic, I mean the kind that required awareness, failure, crying, laughing, and remaining open-minded and curious about my life and the world around us. My magic. I made my glass slippers. Not a fairy godmother.

So, when it comes to romance and a partner for myself, I am not looking for someone who can fit into my glass slippers. They are my shoes. Not yours.

I am looking for someone who will covet them. Protect them. Honor them. But not try to hide them from the world or be intimidated by their awesome glamour. Because, like it or not, I’m wearing these babies every fucking day!

I want someone who will treat them with the care and tenderness they require because, while they look strong, they are still fragile and important – to me. And I will not recreate them if they don’t suit you or don’t match your style. Glass cannot be retailored easily without damage or misshaping it forever. And the point is that it’s not important my shoes match your clothes because they match mine!

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Once upon a time, however, I used to squeeze myself into someone else’s shoes – whatever they were. And the pain of a poor fit inevitably left its marks. And that is simply not the case anymore.

I used to fall for the princes who dangled the promises of beauty and royal love by its lovely little stiletto straps in front of my face only to find it was all an illusion. And subsequently, like Cinderella, I’d find myself barefoot, neglected and left to sit in the ashes to the side.

So, when I hold my fundamental imperatives, finally, as the priceless treasures they are -created by my own hands with my own alchemy, you can bet I am not in a rush to share them with just anyone anymore.

That means, yeah, I expect you to have your own glorious pair of gilded footwear. I want to see that you have spent time as a cobbler, weaving your own wizardry and crafting your own glass shoes.

That means days like today can just pass by without any longing for a relationship. I don’t feel left out. I don’t feel rushed to date or get a boyfriend or new husband.

No. Instead I am peacefully staring at my shimmering & dazzling footwear – totally in love with the Queen I am today.

And the rest of it – well, I do believe in a good fairy tale and my King is out there somewhere. And he’s worth the wait.

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