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#1

When living with bipolar, sometimes its okay if the only thing you did today, was breathe. Sometimes making it through the day is an accomplishment in and of itself.

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Speedy_Sloth 2 years ago

Thank you

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#2

Understand that anxiety can hit at any time. It doesnt just happen in 'stressful' moments. Anxiety means that at any given moment I can be stressing out about what might happen, what didnt happen, something that happened three years ago. Anxiety means that my mind never stops, I dont have peaceful moments. If I dont do something with you, it doesnt mean that I didnt want to, just that I am exhausted from dealing with my mind.

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2 years ago

And thank you for this. I have been wanting to share my experiences, but just never found a way to start.

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#3

Please, please, PLEASE don't drag a friend with social anxiety to a crowded party, telling them that "they're just being silly".

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Maci Wilcox 2 years ago

I completely understand that situation

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#4

Just how debilitating it really is. It's become so hard to just do normal daily tasks on a regular basis, let alone pursue my goals in life...

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Daria B 2 years ago

And then there's the guilt of being "lazy", I immagine...

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#5

Sometimes just getting out of bed to be productive is a monumental task.

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Koko Sempai 2 years ago

Yes. I have trouble sleeping at night and ending up having ALOT of trouble waking up. My parents don't know about this and yells at me (o_o)

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#6

There are those nights when you fall asleep, completely prepared to wash the makeup off your arms and remove the bracelets in the morning, but when you wake up you not only have the makeup and the bracelets to cover the scars but also the biggest hoodie you can find. This is living with depression and self-harm day after day.

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Amanda Panda 2 years ago

What about the severe anxiety that follows when you get to work and realize you FORGOT to put makeup on, and you spend the whole day hiding or searching for a cardigan or anything with long sleeves!

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#7

I really want to hang out with you. Being with friends makes me happy, but please, understand that I am scared. My anxiety gets the better of me. If I decide to come, it's already an effort, if I don't, know that I really, really appreciate that you think of me, I have no words to express it.

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Melissa Spencer 2 years ago

Or deciding to go, say yes, then just not being able to get out the door when the time comes.

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#8

Having to go with a mask on when you don't really understand why you woke up, and your feelings are all mixed up.

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Jose Rosado 2 years ago

That's one of the hardest parts for a lot of people: explaining to others why they're struggling when even they don't know why they're sad.

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#9

When I lash out after you compliment or praise me, it isn't because I'm angry that you said that, it's because as soon as you said those kind things about me my self hatred and doubt screamed a thousand rebuttals as to why you were wrong, why I was worthless and that you were only pitying me. I wasn't lashing out in anger, I was lashing out in pain.

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#10

My emotions consume me. Whenever I'm having a bad month or so, it's so overwhelming that I can't even remember what it feels like to be "normal". And when it clears away, I'm so happy that I believe that I must have been imagining all the pain I was in before-- life is so good, how could I ever think the horrible things I thought just a week ago?

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Long Joan Silver 2 years ago

This is how I felt, when I was saved from my darkest of days. I thank one person for saving me from jumping on the train tracks 2 years ago.

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#11

When you feel invisible long enough, you feel like you've always been invisible. When friends, family, or coworkers take you for granted and hardly talk to you, you wonder if you even exist. Talk to a "quiet" or "shy" person. They may have so much to tell you. They could be outgoing, but are too afraid to be themselves because they don't want to scare anyone by being too boisterous, loud, hyper, etc. Talk to them, but be yourself so they can gauge how far they can go. They judge themselves.

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Long Joan Silver 2 years ago

This is me, the quiet, shy person who is outgoing.

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#12

When you see scars on someone's wrists or something, and ask what they are even though you can tell, don't push the subject further than that if they shrug away the question. It's difficult to talk about and remember what the scars are from.

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Amanda Panda 2 years ago

I've been a self injurer for a little over 20 years, at this point, people know, its obvious, but for those who still ask, I make up completely ridiculous stuff like 'I used to train tigers in a circus" Or "I used to juggle samurai swords when I lived in Japan" and we both typically laugh and immediately change the subject, and they forget all about it. Its worked for many years... unless I choose to tell them, they don't get to know.

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#13

Increasingly I feel useless and hopeless and scared and living often feels like the ground under my feets is made of glass and I can fall through every second...

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Edath Feston 2 years ago

It's feeling useless and having no hopes or dreams or goals left that I haven't already failed at attaining. It's having a very loving family, but no one I can tell this to. It's not having any feelings at all and only one wish left - that I won't wake up in the morning. I'm not afraid to fall through the glass under my feet. I'm afraid that I won't!

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#14

No one feels worse then me when I feel like I have to deny an invitation, but it's not personal.

I just know that I wouldn't be able to handle it.

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Laura Ingles. 2 years ago

This makes me sad because it's so true... I wish I was different.......

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#15

I can relate to all of these. I have been bullied all of my school years, had my family fighting around me, belittled by my parents from my childhood-early adult years, beaten up by my dad until the age of 22 and sexually assaulted twice. Dad got help with his anger so no more beatings, but my dad's family, due to their historic issues, they don't speak to each other anymore. It all got too much in the end and as I was about to end my life, a certain song saved me and I'm forever thankful.

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Amanda Panda 2 years ago

But... you are still here. That means something to me, it means you are a fighter, it means you are a survivor, and if you can endure ALL of that, and still be remotely well adjusted, you can survive anything. You are resilient, and you have to understand that healing takes time. Sometimes you don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option. Never give up, keep fighting. You got this!

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#16

"You're only making excuses."
"Stop being lazy."
"It's all in the mind."
"Other people have it worse than you."

No. Just... no. These aren't helping at all.

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Koko Sempai 2 years ago

VERY relatable.

#17

Intellectually I see that life can be beautiful. That it is. I have beautiful and amazing adult children doing well. Grandchildren that fill me with joy. I have had my business for 21 years. People say I am good and successful. But in my heart, my bones, I can't own any of it. I feel it's not really me or I am a fraud because I smile and play happy but I am not. I now have a daughter, 17,suffering as well. I hope she at 52 doesn't feel same.

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DancingToMyself 2 years ago

I hope you're able to talk to your daughter about all that stuff, since you can see what she's struggling with?

#18

That the self doubts scream the loudest. Always ripping you apart & thinking the worst.

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The Alchemist 2 years ago

Someone I care about has this problem and I want to fix it so badly but I don't know how.

#19

Have you ever heard about somniphobia? You probably haven't, and I'm not judging you for it, even the spellchecker says it's not a real word.
Somniphobia is the fear of falling asleep. Unlike insomnia, I CAN sleep, I just don't want to, because I'm scared that I'd never, ever wake up.
I didn't tell anyone because I thought I would scare them, but when I told my mother, she laughed at me, and told me that I was just overreacting.

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2 years ago

Also, one time I had a panic attack because of this - when I was with my boyfriend. He was scared, so scared... I never want to see that expression on his face ever again, that expression my mental illness caused.

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#20

That depression hinders even doing things you love the most. To feel too hollow and sad to go for a hike, read a good book, or play a game. It takes too much energy, and you are running on empty. And sometimes the only thing that gets you out of bed is that you have to feed the cats.

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💖 Stacy Rae 💖 2 years ago

I love my cat for many reasons, this being one of them.

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#21

Whenever I'm (clearly) unstable and start arguing irrationally, I don't mean it. Any of it. Most of the stress at those times comes from thinking about how it must be hard for people to handle me.

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#22

Intrusive thoughts are horrible. They turn your own mind against you and make you doubt yourself. They can even make you believe that you are evil.

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#23

When I'm having a bad day, don't ask me why I'm not better yet. There is no "getting better." Even if I've strung together a year of good days (probably not happening) there's always a bad day/week/month on the horizon. Don't make me feel bad for feeling bad.

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#24

I don't need you to "fix" me or "solve" my issues.
I need you to accept me and love me,and I know and understand that it's important to have boundaries too,I know my anxiety and depression impacts you as well. So as much as you might want to "fix" me it is more helpful to be there for me as I help myself. I can't stand my mental illness I don't expect you to like it either.....I only expect you love me inspite of it.
Good days and bad.

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Fanwarrior 1 year ago

I agree

#25

not a mental disease at all but ME/CFS is considered one and therefore I can hardly 'GET' any medical help :-(

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Jen Ray 2 years ago

The frustration must make things that much worse for you *hugs*

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#26

Literally being a "retard" is not a choice, and it shouldn't be made fun of by children, especially adults, who should know better. It's called autism. It's called mental disability. It has many different causes. Birth defects, mothers drinking alcohol or doing drugs when pregnant, car accidents, many things. We are quiet because we need someone to make us feel comfortable. We are loud because we are overwhelmed. We are here because we are humans, too.

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#27

When sadness is your permanent state of being, it can be difficult to wear the "positivity mask" just to avoid rubbing your negativity on those around you.

It's okay if you can't fake your happiness sometimes...

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#28

I wish I could tell everyone about the moments where I just start to feel so depressed and hate how stupid I am and want to curl up in my covers and sleep away everything so that I'd never have to try to live life

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#29

This shit is difficult. Anxiety and depression are difficult to work through in my daily life. Don't treat it like a joke. If your friend broke their leg, you wouldn't ask them to go on a run with you right after. Treat mental illnesses the same way as you would a physical injury.

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Pepper 2 years ago

I've never heard it phrased better. btw-- is that homestuck??

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#30

#Always Keep Fighting! Do not give in to depression.

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Silent Skeleton 2 years ago

Thank you :o)

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#31

Sometimes my friends and family can't understand how yesterday I was in the greatest mood ever and today I can barely force myself out of bed. Living Bipolar is a constant Rollercoaster of emotions.

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#32

Most of the time, I just can't find any pleasure anymore in things I used to love to do. Or in anything at all, really. This is sometimes called anhedonia.

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Jen Ray 2 years ago

Much agreed. I dread the upcoming holidays. I don't want to drag out all the decorations and take the kids to the festivals. I don't want to gather with family because everyone is "worried about me" and they think I can't hear their whispers. There's no joy in any of it anymore.

#33

When you think you are dying. How I would love to snap out of it. My chest hurts and I am sure this time it is a heart attack. Then how utterly stupid you feel when it's over. And the hospital bills.

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#34

NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT IS STRUGGLING WITH ANYTHING THAT IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE ♡

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Silent Skeleton 2 years ago

this is all too true. Thank you :o)

#35

That I didn't choose to feel like that and that I do what I can to get better. Even if you don't see it. It is the worst feeling in the world and noone wants to feel like this.

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#36

That saying stop taking things personally will not stop me from taking things personally because when I'm depressed I don't have logical thought processes.

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#37

Although I think I understand the dynamic of my problem, I'm not able to overcome it, which makes me feel so weak and dumb. Then comes that strong weakening feeling of regret and shame for stagnating the past 10 years and doubting every single (maybe helpful) thought that 5 minutes ago made perfect sense, leaving me nearly unable to make and follow plans or at least knowing what I want.

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#38

People who suffer from bipolar and borderline personality disorder are not bad people, nor are they strange. We do not mean to shut people out of our lives when we do have a bipolar episode. Sometimes we just need to be left alone. Also, when a person says that they have those two disorders, do not go behind our backs and tell people that we are weird because of our mental illness. That wont make us like you. In fact, that will be our queue to shut you out of our lives for good.

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#39

I procrastinate doing things that give me anxiety to the point where they build up so much that I'm over whelmed and can't function. I'm scared of handling my own bank account so I put off paying bills. I'm scared to drive and it makes me want to call off work but then I'll have even less money to pay the bills that I put off paying to start with. It's stupid because I feel like I could solve all my problems if I just had the strength to do the things I was supposed to

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#40

I've been stable for five after battling with anorexia for most of my adult life. It took nearly a decade for me to begin to respect myself, love myself, and to take care of myself. Willfulness and the courage to reach out for support finally helped me. Get through this.

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Silent Skeleton 2 years ago

I don't know you personally, but I'm really happy for you that you were able to get through that :o)

#41

Just because you like to keep your house clean doesn't mean you have OCD.
Some people wish they had the time or energy to keep their houses clean but their OCD has other plans, like making them believe they've just killed someone or are about to kill someone.
Some people with OCD spend all day trying to figure out if they are awake or just dreaming, some think that everyone around them is a figment of their imagination.
I'd like to wash the dishes but it takes me an hour to turn the tap on!

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The Alchemist 2 years ago

For me, it's about fear and control. I don't do all the rituals or the cleaning or any of that. Sometimes it's the opposite. My bedroom is an absolute mess because it's never going to be good enough so why bother? But if something is bugging me, if I had an argument or I screwed up in a soccer game, I cannot get it out of my head. I think on it and think through everything trying to find a way that I could fix it or something I could have done differently and I think on it until nothing makes sense anymore. I sometimes literally cannot turn of my thoughts and I can't sleep at night because of it. I get depressed and have bad thoughts that sometimes I can't get rid of. I isolate myself sometimes because I can't control people and the only person I fully trust is me.

#42

Most of the time I feel like I reeeeally dont belong here.

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Koko Sempai 2 years ago

Bored panda is a good site because there are no buttholes here that posts hate messages ( ^ u ^ )

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