Women often find themselves in lose-lose situations when it comes to living the lifestyle they want. Those who are more outspoken about their sexuality or are less conservative will get called derogatory terms and told to cover up; on the other side of the spectrum women who are more conservative will be called ‘prudes.’

Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to speak on this issue, addressing women on how they speak to one another. Misogyny abounds among men, but there is something even more distressing about women putting each other down. In her thread, she tackled how we can express our lifestyle choices without belittling others, and it is a must read.

Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to address how women belittle each other for their lifestyle choices

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

She explained that you can live your life however you want without putting down others who don’t make the same choices

Image credits: delafro_

And provided examples on the ‘ok’ and ‘not ok’ ways to speak to each other

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

At the end she made it clear that the same went for both sides of the lifestyle spectrum

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Image credits: delafro_

Meredith Fuller author of Working with Bitches and vocational psychologist identified three main reasons women are nasty to other women: “Because they project their unwanted parts onto the other women — especially their fear, envy, jealousy, suspicion, resentment, rage, anxiety, or lack of self-esteem and confidence; Because they can get away with it — as a sport, fun, panacea to boredom, delight in spite, or because their lack of curiosity/tolerance of difference suggests they probably don’t like people anyway; Because they don’t have the interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills to recognize or alter their behavior.”

Most of the people in the comments stood behind her powerful message

Joyce Benenson spent thirty years researching competition between the sexes and concluded that evolution designed women to be more competitive than men. Due to a combination of social, psychological and biological factors, women hold a more fearsome survival instinct. Benenson explains that women must disguise these competitive strategies due to the system in which we operate, which is why they appear in less overt ways.

So how do women fight biology? Barbara Markway, a clinical psychologist, author and founder of The Self-Compassion Project, has these words of wisdom: ‘Don’t blame yourself. We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.’