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70 People Open Up About The Casual Cruelty They’ve Experienced Because Of Their Body Size
People come in all shapes and sizes, but unfortunately, that doesn’t stop others from judging them based on their appearance. In fact, one study found that 57% of adults had experienced some form of weight-related stigma, including discrimination or teasing.
One Threads user asked fat people to share the worst microaggressions they’ve faced, and they had plenty of stories to tell. From uncomfortable encounters at work to rude remarks at the grocery store or doctor’s office, their responses show just how insensitive others can be. Find them below.
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#1
I saw a doctor about a minor back injury that required a couple weeks of PT. At my PT assessment, the therapist spotted my insulin pump.
Him: Is that an insulin pump?
Me: Yes.
Him: You’re pretty young to have developed type 2 diabetes.
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah, you should-
Me: I’m gonna stop you because you’ve showed me you don’t know enough to talk to me about this.
Him: …
Me: I’m a type 1. Did you assume I was type 2 because of my weight?
Him: …
Me: Do you have a manager?
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#2
I had cancer and quickly lost over 100 pounds. Got told that I looked fantastic and to make sure I kept it off. I was literally sick, but ok.
#3
Being told that I should go to the gym to get fit and healthy, but seeing posts of all the fit, healthy people making fun of big people at the gym. It's given me some serious gym anxiety. I don't wanna be in anyone's reels.
Rathoren 5 hours ago
Im chubby right now (weight fluctuates dramatically) and i don't want to go to the gym because i know the women will make fun of me. They openly talk about me sitting next to them not realizing I actually speak their language. It hurts everytime even though it shouldn't....
#4
Every time my mom wanted to say "You look nice" what she said instead was "Oh, it looks like you've lost weight!"
DawnoftheDead 2 hours ago
I always got the standard " You have such a pretty face". My mom never failed to add some comment about how I needed to lose weight.
#5
In a pilates class where the instructor started off the terrible experience by asking if I was pregnant - "wow! You're actually really strong and have great spinal mobility" yes Lexie I do pilates 5x a week and am literally a yoga teacher.
#6
I lost 160 pounds. You don't realize how different people treat you.
People would avoid eye contact. But I lost a bunch of weight (I'm still considerably plus size) and suddenly they nod and say good morning, they smile in passing, and they open doors.
#7
As a professional baker people love to say, “I can see you enjoy your job.” I don't eat cake for lunch, Karen.
#8
Not so micro. Was still with my ex-h at the time, went to a walk-in to refill my long time meds. The doctor on duty insisted on taking my BP & weighing me for a routine refill, then asked me who I brought with me, I said "my husband"... he said, fully shocked, "Wow you're married? Good for you. He must really love you."
I didn't even have words.
#9
I was at the office and had the gall to say "I'm starving" and a grouchy male co-worker said "you don't look like it". If you're overweight, you're not allowed to say "I'm hungry".
#10
That time a flight attendant very sweetly and cutely offered to move my (fit and handsome) husband to a "more comfortable" seat because I guess she thought our cuddling was just me being too fat for one seat? He was so confused and was like "I'd like to stay with my wife" and she was *flummoxed.*.
Garry Cowan 3 hours ago
The reason I'm now 80 pounds lighter today is because me and my wife were mortified that we would have soon needed seat belt extensions for airplane seats , I hike 10 miles 7 days a week and have a healthy BMI genuinely never felt better
#11
This was just full on aggression but I worked in the bakery at a grocery store and some old lady asked me where the pumpkin pies were so I took her and she TOUCHED ME and said “don’t worry one day you’ll be able to lose the weight”.
#12
The nurse (male), taking my weight, said “looks like somebody ate a little too much pizza this weekend.”
#13
A doctor told me I couldn't have a surgery until I lost 75lbs.
So I lost the weight.
That same doctor was flabbergasted. He refused the surgery because he never wanted to actually do it, no one had "managed to lose the weight befote" and he thought it would deter me.
Poppy 2 hours ago
I once heard of a doctor who told my friend that he wouldn't consider her for weight loss surgery unless she lost some weight first. She lost some weight and he said 'well you've managed to lose weight on your own, you can lose the rest too!' She was so demoralised that she ended up putting more weight on.
#14
People for some reason get upset when I look nice without reason…?They always ask me what I’m “all dressed up for”
I left my house Barbara. Just because you have to try to look nice doesn’t mean I put that much effort in.
#15
Someone who lost weight giving you the clothes they can no longer fit and then asking “are you sure that’s your size?” Well first of all I don’t want nor did I ask for your clothes!
Crystalwitch60 36 minutes ago (edited)
Eugh hate this one ,the only second hand clothes I will wear are my daughters lol everyone else can keep theirs thanks ,more so if you lost weight cos that’s highly insulting on so many levels like well done on the weight loss but don’t make out im fat lol ,
#16
Worked with a girl with the same name as me. She was much thinner. Found out everyone called her the “pretty” Rebecca while I was just Rebecca.
TheElderNom 4 hours ago
For a while we had six guys with the same first name. Since I'm bad with names I nicknamed them *name* the younger, the older, the conductor, the instructor, the traffic planner/the Dutch and the new. Though a lot of people (mostly women) called *name* the new, hot *name* or *name* the handsome. It felt ver inappropriate to both to that guy and to all the other guys that supposedly weren't hot. I mean the older was almost 70 but still cute in his way. Though it wasn't about being fat in this case since all of them were in the normal range.
#17
Any place that only has those industrial-style steel chairs with arms. They are hideously uncomfortable for anyone with even a slightly wider backside.
#18
The looks from everyone on the plane silently praying that I didn't sit next to them.
#19
My OB paperwork said I had pregnancy complications due to obesity and when I asked what the complications were they said they didn’t know???
#20
The day my stepfather passed, his neighbor came up to me and told me I needed to take this tea she had and use it to lose weight because I didn't want to be a burden on my loved ones. Like THE DAY. I had never spoken to this person in my life. Maybe that's not so micro after all.
TheElderNom 4 hours ago
I've had complete strangers come up to me and tell me how to lose weight. Usually assuming things about my diet or way of life that just isn't true. My favourite is the woman who told me to start smoking, at least half a pack a day, since it kills the appetite. Well my father smoked that or more and he was still fat, I'd rather keep to one health problem, thank you very much.
#21
When I was pregnant and people said “wow you aren’t even showing!” Like I’m 7 months pregnant, I actually AM showing you’re just assuming it’s all fat.
Littlemiss 5 hours ago
Yep faced this, I ballooned fast and got told Oh are you pregnant? We just thought you got really fat fast.
#24
On Thanksgiving: "Are you sure you need seconds?" When they're on their third plate, but it's okay, because they're thin.
#25
I had a manager say I'd be skinny if I didn't eat so much at work. At the time, I was powerlifting, and I was eating because I was hungry from all the workouts I was doing.
#26
Someone was describing something and used the word fat, then rolled her eyes over to me and said, “Oh, I forgot you were here. Sorry I said fat.”. Zero expression on her face. Like, I know I’m fat. I’m not going to cry because you used the word. But that side comment had my hackles up.
#27
My grandmother talking up how great my sisters looked and then turning to me and saying “and you have such a pretty face”. She wasn’t a mean person and probably meant it, but whoa, knife to the heart.
#28
Walking Taco day at my job. I came back for sour cream because I forgot it. Boss puts in Teams to “Make sure everyone gets a serving before getting second.” I was coming to eat my actual lunch and my boss was like “Let everybody eat, please” the moment I came in when I was nowhere near the food.
Bob Brooce 4 hours ago
I'd blame this one on experience with people in general and not thinking your weight is the reason.
#29
Whenever I take my shirt off in front of my 4.5 year old, he'll run over to grab my gut with two hands and start shaking it yelling, "I'M THE JIGGLER!!!"
#30
The look of shock when they see I have a partner that loves me; and they automatically think he is a saint to love a poor unfortunate fat soul.
Samantha H 2 hours ago (edited)
I had a female boss who was very heavy and she told me that a Woman came up to her and her partner in a Supermarket and said 'how could you be with such a fat woman' Why do people think it is ok to say things like this,
#31
When my colleague always finds a way to refer to my weight. “Oh you remind me so much of my friend, she’s a big girl like you.” this has happened multiple times.
#32
LOTS of MACRO aggressions... micro.. maybe the Dr. who I went to for over 20 years NOT putting the bigger gown and the bigger BP cuff in the room before I got there.. but instead making me say "I think you need the bigger one" EVERY TIME (even after I said, this is humliating, maybe a note in the chart?) still did it.
#33
One time my boss emailed our office manager asking her to get my tshirt size from me bc I “may be uncomfortable putting it on the shared spreadsheet.” Plot twist: he sent ME the email on accident instead of her.
Rathoren 5 hours ago
I kinda actually appreciate this? My dads company has a much larger guy we all love and hes sooo shy about his size that our wonderful manager quietly special ordered him plus size company shirts from a different manufacturer because the normal manufacturer didn't do bigger size. He would be mortified if anyone knew his size. I would have also personally been really embarrassed to have to put my size on a chart at my last job. So maybe it was meant with the best intentions?
#34
Feeling the need to tell me how little they eat or how not hungry they are. Especially while we’re eating together.
Rathoren 5 hours ago (edited)
Oof i have the opposite problem, my chubby body constantly tells me its not hungry and i have to force myself to actually eat a meal most days for my low iron. Can go upwards of 3 days on just water or juice and not be at all hungry. Constantly arguing with people that i dont sit at home eating 24/7. When people spend all day with me they are shocked cause they ate 2 meals and a snack and theres me just trudging along with just a water bottle
#35
Lost a teeny bit of weight, “you look so HEALTHY!”
#36
Asthma nurse, looked at me sternly and said "do you do ANY exercises " in exactly the tone you can imagine.
#37
“How’s that diet going?” said smugly by an old lady at church as I enjoyed a single brownie at the church bake sale.
#38
when i worked in an office people incessantly commented on my lunch. i’d be eating a plate of salad ffs and it’s “that’s a big plate of salad!”
#39
being told my weight was “unprofessional” and we’ll lose clients if i don’t work on myself.
#40
My doc assumed I had no idea what calories were, tried explaining it like I was 5, and then told me 1000kcal/day was healthy.
#41
Most annoying: When seeing a doc for something unrelated, he told me to “eat less fast food.” He did not ask about my diet and at the time I hadn’t eaten any fast food in months.
Most common: When I use “fat” as an objective descriptor, most recently during a blood draw when I said maybe the reason I’m a hard stick is because of the fat on my arm, the person replies “No! You’re beautiful!” Like, I did not say those were mutually exclusive! But you clearly think they are!
#42
Never finding a comfortable bra because if you’re fat you must have big cups.
Elladine DesIsles 53 minutes ago
Cup size is proportional; that's just the way bra sizing works. So, if you compare a 34C and a 46C, the cups are not the same size because they are both C, they both have the same proportional relationship between band and cup size, but the bra with the smaller band will also have smaller C cups than the one with a larger band. Less common proportions are going to be harder to find and more expensive, at both ends of the spectrum, because they are less profitable to mass manufacture. I have a somewhat opposite problem to OP, trying to find comfortable and affordable bras in 38G, and for smaller women with large cup sizes it is undoubtedly even harder. It is frustrating for any of us who aren't in common size combinations, but this isn't specific to fat women (and I am definitely closer to fat than thin myself).
#43
Airplanes. Those seats are tiny af and those seat belts are short. While I'm grateful for the extenders, I hate the idea of anyone, no matter their size, being stuffed into a tiny seat. Who wouldn't want a roomier seat?
Bob Brooce 4 hours ago
The question is who can and wants to pay for a roomier seat. The only way to make coach seat wider is to get rid of one from each row, which means 5 passengers have to pay as much as 6 passengers. And that's assuming you're not also adding more legroom. You're basically looking at creating a business-lite class, which the airlines already offer with some coach seats..
#44
People talking badly about a fat person and being like “she was bigger than you” or “no offense to you”.
#45
I was sick with a severe infection, it caused me to lose ten pounds in a week, instead of being incredibly concerned my doctor congratulated me on my weight loss.
#46
I lost 115 pounds (note: still fat after that) and a skin condition I have that can be aggravated by being heavy has not improved. When I went to the dermatologist for some shots (the same one I had seen 115 pounds heavier), her first line about improving the situation was that weight loss is still the best option. Ma'am, read my chart...
#48
"Oh my gosh, you're not fat, don't say that about yourself!"
Lady, I am fat. You're the one assigning ethical or social value to an objectively descriptive adjective.
#50
People greeting the smaller/skinnier person in front of me but no greeting for me.
Littlemiss 3 hours ago
Got this a lot in stores. I was small but thought I was fat and wore baggy clothes. They assumed I was obese.
#51
I went to get my belly button pierced in highschool and the girl told me she wouldn’t do it because I has a stomach roll and it would get infected. Her boss heard her, laughed told her to pack her booth and leave, took me over and pierced it for me. Never had an issue. I was also a size 8.
#52
Coming back from maternity leave to have someone say, “when are you ever going to have that kid?”
#53
Being told to fast for 48 hours
I never mentioned wanting to lose weight. I was there to have my thyroid checked out.
#54
I've been thin as an adult.
I'm now fat.
I've been prominently online that whole time.
NOBODY wants to take pictures with me anymore.
#55
I went to urgent care because I was having really bad asthma and the SECOND the doctor walked in, he said “do you have diabetes?” LMFAOOO.
Ace 3 hours ago
TBF if you're going to be treated for an acute and urgent issue, the doctor does need to know these things. Emergency treatment using steroids can be very harmful for some diabetics, and there are some complications in diabetes that can actually cause breathing difficulties with symptoms very much like asthma,
#56
When my friends hand-me-down their clothes that are “way way too big” for them
Is that considered a hand me up?
#57
Every "you'd be so much prettier if you lost weight" that I've heard since I was 5 years old?
#59
Back in pre covid days, having people watch how much you put on your plate at a buffet or watching if you went back for seconds. And by watching I mean staring and smirking.
#61
If you lose 10-20 pounds it should fix (insert issue here)
I did I ended up in the hospital for a week with a worse issue yay.
#62
Not the worst, but someone’s mom served me double cut/kid cut pizza slices and everyone else received regular sized. Not even trying to be subtle, just trying to single me out.
#63
probably when i went to urgent care and the doctor would not believe i have type 1 diabetes because of my BMI and insisted it had to be type 2.
#64
My wife went to the doctors one time (her usual GP was out of town so she saw someone else) and this new doctor started talking about my wife having high blood pressure. My wife stopped her and said "wait a minute, I have high blood pressure??" and the doctor just stopped talking and looked at her chart since the nurse had just taken it. Her BP was normal. It's never been high.
#65
People at the grocery store commenting on how “healthy” my shopping cart looks, and then looking at me like it doesn’t make sense .
#67
Being in a group of alt people for a fashion show and everyone taken photos of but me.
#68
1) My mom watching my food before my wedding “we can’t take the dress out any more”
2) doctor walked in while I was in labor “I’ll be back in an hour. The big ones always take longer”
3) told my best friend my goal weight and she said “I’d be gone if I ever weighted that much and that’s your goal???”
#69
I consider it a micro-aggression that airlines make you ask for a seatbelt extender.
#70
my mom is always telling me how good her glp-1 has been "for inflammation" and asking if I'd try it. meanwhile any doctor that prescribed me a glp-1 would be guilty of malpractice due to existing conditions.
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What do you think ?
Stephanie L Thesing 5 hours ago
For years I put off seeing a doctor for my excruciating hip pain cause I was certain they’d blame me and my weight.. when I couldn’t handle it anymore and saw a physician, x-rays showed extensive osteoarthritis that eventually led to a hip replacement at the age of 56. Wish I had addressed it sooner..
Lukas (he/him) 4 hours ago
I've always liked the look of those overall shorts, but my mom would never let me get them when we went back to school clothes shopping for me. She'd say "Oh, we don't have the body type!" We don't have the same body type at all. She's short and skinny, I'm tall and bigger, especially in the chest (highly unfortunately.) I've still never had a pair, I think I'd look very cute in them.
Joe Publique 2 hours ago
While some of these are clearly unacceptable, many are simple misunderstandings, understandable presumptions, or just plain silly, such as feeling slighted because one has to ask for a seat-belt extension. While micro- and macro-aggressions exist, identifying them can sometimes be subjective, as the same interaction may be interpreted differently depending on the context. The receiver’s feelings matter, but so do the wording, relationship, and circumstances. If ambiguous interactions are too readily interpreted as evidence of prejudice, this can reinforce the belief that others are hostile, creating a cycle in which people feel increasingly attacked and more prone interpret future interactions negatively. Often, a simple smile and a non-confrontational “What do you mean by that?” can help clear things up.
Stephanie L Thesing 5 hours ago
For years I put off seeing a doctor for my excruciating hip pain cause I was certain they’d blame me and my weight.. when I couldn’t handle it anymore and saw a physician, x-rays showed extensive osteoarthritis that eventually led to a hip replacement at the age of 56. Wish I had addressed it sooner..
Lukas (he/him) 4 hours ago
I've always liked the look of those overall shorts, but my mom would never let me get them when we went back to school clothes shopping for me. She'd say "Oh, we don't have the body type!" We don't have the same body type at all. She's short and skinny, I'm tall and bigger, especially in the chest (highly unfortunately.) I've still never had a pair, I think I'd look very cute in them.
Joe Publique 2 hours ago
While some of these are clearly unacceptable, many are simple misunderstandings, understandable presumptions, or just plain silly, such as feeling slighted because one has to ask for a seat-belt extension. While micro- and macro-aggressions exist, identifying them can sometimes be subjective, as the same interaction may be interpreted differently depending on the context. The receiver’s feelings matter, but so do the wording, relationship, and circumstances. If ambiguous interactions are too readily interpreted as evidence of prejudice, this can reinforce the belief that others are hostile, creating a cycle in which people feel increasingly attacked and more prone interpret future interactions negatively. Often, a simple smile and a non-confrontational “What do you mean by that?” can help clear things up.
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