81 Things That Happened At A Wedding That Screamed “They’re Not Going To Last Long”
Is it possible to tell how long a marriage will last based on what happens at the wedding? Experts would probably disagree, but people have their own ways of estimating whether a couple will make it or not based on what they see at a wedding. Research shows that the average duration of a marriage in the U.S. is 21 years for first marriages.
Yet, many of the marriages on this list were much, much shorter. Wedding guests, photographers, musicians, and other attendees flocked to a recent thread online in response to a question, "What [was a] wedding moment that screamed, 'They are not going to last long?'" They shared the wedding red flags that showed they knew a couple wouldn't have their happily ever after.
This post may include affiliate links.
They had a “who knows their partner better?” game.
They both failed every question. Even the dog's name.
As the bride and groom were leaving the ceremony, he refused to take her hand multiple times down the aisle. Oh and before that, during the first kiss as husband and wife, he said “a hug will do; my grandma is here”.
During the speeches the groom said "And we're going to have LOTS OF BABIES!" ... and the bride's face just.. froze.
Wedding photographer with 20 years experience here… One that stands out was when the bride's parents speech included the line regarding the groom: “You weren’t who we envisioned for our daughter, but you have children together so I guess we’re stuck with you.”.
So the bride had prepared a dance with her bridesmaids. A really fun and sweet dance, really, not one of those cringe ones you see sometimes. While they were dancing, the groom kept burying his face in shame and mockingly joke with the groomsmen. They got divorced four months later.
When the groom mentioned something about the bride’s ‘stinky farts’ in his vows.
I was the bride.
Was the groom 10yrs old, cause there’s no other reasonable excuse for what he said.
Bride was crying during vows but not from joy, just pure what am I doing energy.
The bride was doing karaoke to "their" song, singing her heart out at the groom...who had his back to her, refused to turn around, and was busy getting blackout drunk with his friends. She kept singing louder, trying to get his attention I guess.
The groom’s mom kissed the groom on the lips, for like minutes, while the bride stood next to them awkwardly. And no this was not some regional tradition, it was not normal, all the guest were in shock.
Oh let’s see… MANY moments…
- the caterers ran out of food halfway through serving guests (turns out the groom had scaled the order down behind the bride’s back because he thought it cost too much)
- groom got super drunk
- bride’s family is Hawaiian and her mother had leis shipped from Hawai’i which included a gorgeous maile lei for the groom. At the end of the night he had lost it/thrown it in the hotel pool.
- next morning the bride shared that he was drunkenly mentioning divorce before passing out.
Took her 2 additional years but, eventually they divorced.
When the bride got dressed up incredibly cute with great makeup and dress and the groom could barely put on a white shirt and cargo shorts. Groom had greasy noticeably unwashed hair too- when normally he didn't. Just seemed like one person cared way more about the whole event....and that ended up being true.
It's the cake smash for me. I'm a wedding photographer and I would say the intensity in which a bride and groom shove cake in each other faces, directly correlates to how long I think they'll last. I understand this is not the case for everyone... don't come for me if you and your spouse did this and are happily married 147 years later.
Many years ago. The couple had a unity candle, where they each had a taper and would light one large candle to show they were now one person or something.
The candle.Would.Not.Light.
The bride looked at the priest, who told them to keep trying. The congregation was starting to laugh a little, and then the bride did, and when they finally lit the thing, she laughed so hard she blew it out.
Divorced a year later.
When the groom started his vows by talking about the divorce rate and how it was even higher for firefighters… spoiler alert - he was a firefighter. Second spoiler alert - bride was me.
It lasted 2.5 years but only because I was a masochist.
Bride slept with the best man because the groom had already passed out.
They lasted a year. Groom never found out.
I posted this story some place else. My wife and I were invited to a neighbors wedding. We didn't know the bride at all but we knew the groom and he's a pretty good guy. At the reception after the wedding the bride was making her way from table to table trying to visit with everyone. My wife and I were sitting with the grooms family. The bride sat down and the grooms mom introduced us to her. She was winded from dancing and partying but she was very critical of the facilities staff.
She said clear enough for the grooms mom to hear " things are going to be different at my next wedding!" You could have heard a pin drop!
The groomsmen got into a food fight with the wedding cake, interrupting the groom feeding the bride. He beaned the groom on the head with the couples cake topper sculpture.
The groom was so drunk he was barely upright, pivoting from feeding the bride to hurling cake, then doing a literal faceplant on the ground after slipping on cake and blood from his cake topper head injury bleeding profusely.
The bride was mortified, her very expensive gown covered in very expensive fondant with no top for the year anniversary celebration.
An ambulance took the groom and any hope of a functional marriage away.
The marriage was annuled the next week.
The father of the bride sued the groom for the wedding costs, getting back some of the loss.
Entered the reception to November Rain. “Nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change 🎶” - done within the year.
Two examples, both times I was working the wedding.
1. Groom was 17 and Bride was 15. In my state, that's legal with parental consent on the 17 year old's part, and court consent on the 15 year old's part. I had no idea until I showed up at the venue.
2. Both adults this time. Bride wants a princess wedding. No problem, she's been dreaming of this her whole life probably. The groom and most of the groomsmen show up absolutely drunk. The groom had to be helped down the aisle, he was so drunk. At the reception, one of the already drunk groomsmen tried to keep giving me shots because he thought my camera was awesome.
I had a buddy call me to tell me he was engaged. He said "She's not the prettiest, but she will do." She was sitting right next to him during the call.
He showed up covered in scratches and bruises and she had a bite mark on her forehead. They were both hungover and not really on speaking terms lol.
The groom insisted that the wedding needed to be in Latin (some Christian thing) The vows he wrote mentioned that the woman’s place is in the home and to be subservient to him. Apparently that was a surprise to her as she was a hospice nurse with a great career. The look of disgust on her face as he spoke definitely told us what she was thinking. Didn’t last a year.
At my wedding, one of the groomsmen (who had been married almost two years) gave a super sad speech about how he was glad we had waited a while to get to know each other before we got married. My husband and I are still married, but the groomsman and his ex-wife divorced like two weeks after that speech.
When the groom insisted on driving himself to the wedding venue (which was about an hour away) instead of riding with family or friends. He was 2.5 hours late and blamed it on traffic. We all drove to the same destination from the same city- no traffic at all. He didn’t even leave until an hour and a half after the wedding was supposed to start!! They actually never got married so, very short wedding. Actually pretty long wedding, but no one got married.
Groom got drunk and smashed a glass on the bride’s head (no bad injuries except from when he got a huge beatdown from her brother and father).
After cutting the cake from a balcony above, the bride started throwing pieces of the cake at the wedding party below. I ducked into another room to avoid being hit. The aftermath was a complete mess that the Groom’s parents cleaned up so they could get the security deposit back. The marriage only lasted a few months.
The groom got a surprise mariachi band and danced alone on stage with them basking in the spotlight with zero signs he thought his new wife should be on stage with him.
My husband bet me $5 at the wedding they would get a divorce. I lost the bet.
He said the wrong name in the vows.
I know this sounds like I'm just rehashing Ross & Emily's wedding from Friends, but this legit happened at the wedding of a friend of a friend (I was friend's +1). Apparently he said the name of the maid of honor, aka the bride's (much) younger sister. I never found out if there was any kind of affair happening (I asked around a bit, but not much because I didn't know many people there), but I did hear from my friend later that they were divorced less than three months later.
Cousin's wedding. Big, expensive ceremony and reception at a fancy country club on Long Island because they wanted a "Great Gatsby" themed wedding. I don't know why they felt that story leant itself to a celebration of love, all I know is that I got yelled at every time I pointed out that this seemed like a bad omen. Turns out, it was just an excuse to create an ostentatious event, which, in my experience, doesn't bode well for the longevity of a marriage. So, it's not looking good from the jump.
Cut to their vows, which they wrote themselves. My cousin gets up and starts talking about how the groom seems to like her dumb jokes and how much they both love pumpkin spice, so naturally they should get married.
I turn to my wife and say, "I give 'em six months if that's all she's got." Get a smack on the shoulder.
Then the groom's turn comes. He starts talking about how often they make each other laugh and *how much they both like pumpkin spice.* Despite writing their vows in isolation...they both came to the same conclusion that bad jokes and pumpkin spice were all they had.
I said, "Nevermind. Three months."
They were divorced two months later. Turns out they'd never discussed how they'd handle money. Or whether they wanted kids. Or literally anything substantive over the course of their several-year relationship. And they came down on opposite sides of every single issue.
A mutual fondness for pumpkin spice isn't enough, it turns out.
Deep Blue Something had a point - liking one or two things about a person isn't even a good enough reason to be friends, let alone married.
Groom called the courthouse to ask how to get a divorce or annulment three HOURS before he was even married.
The bride had a nice dress on and wasn’t saying much to anyone. The groom was wearing a cowboy hat with jeans and couldn’t stop talking about his new boat which he bought with her money.
They didn’t even make it to a year.
During pre Cana classes (Catholic marriage prep) they asked everyone ten main topic questions several times. Each time they were worded differently to make sure that each couple had discussed these topics thoroughly and were on the same page.
For example, one of the topics was on having children. These are some of the questions I remember. Do you want to have children? If so, how many children? Who will be the main care giver? Will you both equally share parenting duties? Will both parents work full time? Will you have one stay at home parent? If both parents work full time, will your child be in a day care facility or will a family member or other caregiver care for your child inside your home, etc?
We started out will maybe 30 couples, but as time went on we lost quite a few. It was pretty obvious what couples hadn’t discussed anything or just glossed over stuff. We watched several couples get into big arguments and a few of them actually walked out during the classes. The others just didn’t return the following week. One couple almost threw down arguing over spanking their future kids.
When the ceremony almost didn't happen because there was a TV in the limo and the groom wanted to keep watching The Game.
My parents attended a wedding of some friends around the same time as their own. The two couples had been in the same ballroom dance class to prep for their respective first dances.
The other couple--mainly the bride--got really drunk between the ceremony and the reception. By the time the reception started, she was pretty belligerent. In the middle of the first dance she got angry at her new husband for being a bad dancer and ditched him on the wedding floor. She walked over to my dad and asked him to dance instead. The groom sheepishly asked my mom if she'd dance with him...and to help count the beats.
Shockingly, the marriage didn't last.
When my son’s first MIL spoke at the reception. She asked her daughter to hold her hand out, then asked him to put his hand on top of hers. Then she said to him “that’s the last time you’ll have the upper hand in this relationship.”.
When it was her turn to say I do, she giggled, turned to the guests and said, ‘is it too late to say no?’, and he closed his eyes, sighed the biggest sigh, and said her name in the most exasperated voice.
Separated after 1 year, divorce is being finalized this year.
A childhood friend of mine grew up in a conservative home, and ber family kept hounding her about being unmarried at 30. So, as these things tend to work, she married the first person who offered.
She was given exactly 0% input over the wedding. Even her dress was obviously not her style, and she was visibly uncomfortable in it.
To make things worse, the groom was very bothered by the fact the reception started a bit late, because he had a flight to catch later that night. With his friends. Without her.
It only got worse from there. She fled after 9 months. He also gave her trouble during the divorce process, going "missing" for a few months, before being tracked down.
Poor woman. She deserved so much better.
The bride refused to come out of the bathroom because she noticed the clock hands were going upward and that was a bad sign. So we all had to wait half an hour, during which time she sent for several of her friends, me included, to keep her company. She finally decided she could do this now, when we returned to our seats, half the guests were drunk and milling around, including her mom and the groom.
They lasted less than 3 months.
When the groom got a felony for stealing copper from his job site to help pay for the $30k wedding. Also their wedding colors were hot pink and emerald green, with silver as an accent. In 2011.
ETA: both of their parents thought them getting married was a terrible idea because, according to their reasoning at the time, they were in their early 20s and she was still in college. So they refused to pay for anything until the FOB decided at the last minute to pay for an open bar. In hindsight, I think they were so against it because they also knew they were not well suited for each other AT ALL.
"It's my fourth marriage and his fifth, it took us a while to find each other but it was worth the wait!"
I was the photographer. They lasted less than 6 months.
EDIT: Since people are seeing this, I'll add the last part. She called me six months after the wedding to ask me to take her daughter's senior pictures. Then, unprompted, she launched into the story of how she followed him and caught him sneaking out of the bedroom window of some other woman's house. These people were like 60 years old....shenanigans.
The bride was an hour late. They rented a concert venue that hosts national acts for the wedding and reception. They had a burlesque show at the reception. The bride made out with her MoH. They made it a month, maybe.
He's remarried and has 2 little kids and is much happier. Wife #2 is an absolute sweetheart.
During the wedding it was revealed the mother of the bride was sleeping with the best man and a massive fight erupted.
The wedding couple divorced like a year later. Oddly the parents of the bride didn't get a divorce. .
During the vows the groom called the bride a jerk. No joke. My jaw was on the floor. They were divorced a few months later.
They were fighting at the rehearsal dinner. Barely spoke.. their marriage lasted 2 weeks and my husband had to go pick up his friend on a bench by the river cause they went to talk.. she got mad and left him there ..🤦🏻♀️.
Looked around the reception and saw her former BF, who she cheated on with her new husband, along with two other guys she'd cheated with over the years. Guess what? She cheated on her husband within two years, or, at least that's when he caught her.
In their vows the bride said, “and remember, everything that’s yours is mine and everything that’s mine is mine.” It was quite the foreshadowing. .
During the speeches at the reception, the father of the groom got up and gave a speech that started with him saying
'When Bob told me he'd met Mary I thought, oh that's a good thing because that means he's not *that way*'
The groom thought it was hilarious (so did I tbh until I realised he was serious) the bride was staring absolute daggers at her now father in law and husband.
Lo and behold it only lasted a few years before ending in tears for all involved.
I was at a wedding about ten or fifteen years ago where the bride’s sister was the maid of honor. When it was time for the speeches, the sister took the microphone, and started talking about the first time she met the groom. At first, there was nothing unusual about the story; she threw in a couple of the usual good-natured jabs that always get thrown into wedding speeches. From there though, it went downhill really fast. She went on roasting the groom for about ten minutes, but not in a good-natured way — it was a lot more mean-spirited than any wedding speech I’ve ever heard. By the time she was finished, it was very apparent to everyone there that she absolutely *hated* the groom, didn’t support the marriage, didn’t want to be there, and wished her sister was marrying pretty much anyone but the groom.
The couple is still married. When my wife and I occasionally see them, I’m always tempted to ask the bride how her sister is doing, just to see both of their reactions.
Úff. I was a bridesmaid, getting nails done with bride and she says she’s not sure she’ll want kids. Totally fine-different strokes, different folks. but THEN says “and if I was going to have kids, (insert groom name) isn’t who I would want to have kids with anyways”. Wait. What? 🚩divorced less than 2 years later.
The bride got super drunk the morning of and presumably kept drinking the whole day. She spilled nacho cheese on her dress and stumbled all the way down the aisle. That night, her and the groom were apparently staying at a fancy hotel or something like that. He left to get something, idk, but she apparently locked the door and subsequently blacked out. He wasn't able to get back in the room and was furious.
Probably been about 10 years since then. They now have 3 kids together and are in the process of a very ugly, very messy divorce.
I know a groom that cheated on his new wife sometime after the vows and before the reception. It lasted a solid three months.
When the BF (my brother )before he proposed
BRO : I might as well we been together for 7 yrs".
ME: let me see the ring?
BRO: oh she has it she went n picked the ring for me to propose.
ME: Oh so ur engaged now?
BRO: I guess
Divorced 5 months later. BRO cheated on her n got the mistress pregnant.
At the reception, the DJ asked the couple how they met so he could introduce their first dance.
The bride grabbed the mic and told this super romantic story about fate, timing, and “knowing instantly.”
The groom took the mic after her and said, “We met on Tinder. I was actually supposed to meet someone else that night but she canceled.”
The entire room went silent. The bride laughed, but it was the tightest smile I’ve ever seen.
They argued outside before the cake cutting.
Divorced in under two years.
He told her in front of the wedding party that he didn’t like her dress. They separated less than a year later.
It was an ice storm, but they got married anyway. Leaving the church she fell down the stairs and broke her leg. He went on the honeymoon, she went to the hospital. Think they lasted 6 months.
His thinking, it was all paid for so why not. Dude, not a good look.
The bride told me at the reception that she almost chose me. I met her the same night my buddy did. Everyone was really drunk, but it was kinda awkward. They got divorced about a dozen years and three kids later.
The reception is at a country club. The cake cutting is pop side. He puts the cater piece in her mouth. She wipes his face with a piece of cake. He pushes her in the pool, in the deep end. Her brother has to jump in to get her out of the pool. The happy couple are now screaming at each other. The families are screaming at each other. Some guests took their presents home with them.
She wanted to invite only part of the his family. Her family all got invites. Before the wedding, she invited all HIS family to a bridal shower where they got lots of presents.
After the wedding, she was complaining about a lack of gifts from his side of the family.
They got divorced after a year and ten months of marriage. She claims she’s “unhappy.”.
Prior to wedding:
-Her 2nd marriage by mid 20s
-Couldn't pronounce his last name properly
-Cheated on him multiple times while blackout drunk, but projected those insecurities & "decisions" onto him
During wedding:
-The "minister" tried to start the wedding ("We are gathered here today...") without her even walking down the isle yet
-Her Dad, directly after their vows, stated "They won't make it..."
-Her new FIL got blackout & stole items from groomsmen changing room
Icing on cake was that she chose a horse farm as their wedding venue...Groom is highly allergic to horses.
Ok story time! During the wedding planning, the bride to be insisted on no children, including the 2 the groom already had. No amount of talking, attempt at compromise or reason got her to budge. Turned out, all the small children in her side of the family were allowed, just not his. She also insisted on an outdoor ceremony, in late October, in the mountains of upstate PA. It snowed a few days before so it was freezing, but also had warmed up enough that everything was a muddy mess.
All of the wedding guests had to rent cabins near the wedding “venue” because it was hours away from where everyone lived. The bride’s parents were looooong divorced but couldn’t stand being anywhere near each other and her stepmother thought the whole weekend was all about her. The wedding party gathered at the mother of the groom’s cabin the night before because it was the largest. The bride’s father and stepmother got very drunk, trashed the whole cabin and laughed about the mother and grandmother of the groom cleaning up, while the bride’s mother spewed a ton of hatred and passive aggressive death threats throughout the night.
At the reception, the bride’s father was wasted again, shocker, and proceeded to scream and yell at the 13 year old brother of the groom for skipping the shot in the dollar dance. The groom’s mother had to be held back from knocking his teeth down his throat for all of his drunken antics after having the nerve to threaten her younger son. The bride got mad and wanted to leave early because she was offended that she wasn’t getting enough respect from the groom’s family. Never mind the fact that he barely had any family there at all and they were all doing their best to avoid the raging terror that was her pathetically drunk father, bridal gown wearing stepmother, and bi-polar rampaging mother.
The marriage lasted 8 months. I was the mother of the groom. Every bit of this story is the God’s honest truth. I tried to warn my son about what he was getting himself into but he wouldn’t listen. I had to grin and bear it the best I could. I’m just lucky I didn’t leave there with a felony charge for knocking out that SOB for attacking my younger son. The whole family was a nightmare and thankfully my granddaughters didn’t have to put up with it for long.
The groom drunk dialed me about 6 weeks before the wedding, after asking me to be his “best woman” at the wedding and told me, through nearly inaudible slurs, that he always loved me and things would be different if I hadn’t moved away. Um no buddy. They actually postponed the wedding due to a sick parent and eloped. Divorced 2 years later.
The grooms entire family didn’t show up for the wedding or reception. Apperently there was a big blow up the day before and despite RSVPing, 50+ people on his side didn’t show. I remember a lot of empty tables and almost no one on the dance floor. They barely made it to their one year and are divorced now.
Bride's father gave a speech about how the first time he met the groom it was a challenge. Long verbal pause before mentioning his name. Turns out the couple decided to have a baby because they were "bored".
Divorced within 5 years.
Bride told me ( maid of honor ) the day of the wedding that she wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but that it was OK cause if it doesn’t work out, they could just get divorced.
When they danced like they were scared of each other but then when it was the mother son dance they were like into the music.
I've told this story before but it begs to be told again bc the couple didn't even make it past the ceremony.
Old money on both sides of the altar, however the venue was a random church in the middle of absolutely nowhere. For some reason the space was set up to have a reception first, with tables surrounding the aisle. The main course, bafflingly, was soup.
The bride is absolutely gorgeous. Designer ball gown, iridescent veil.... meanwhile the groom could only be described as a ginger pimp. Yes, hat and all.
It's when they get to the exchanging of rings that it went completely off the rails. The bride was looking an interesting mixture of angry and nervous, like she was wondering what the hell she was doing. Then a close friend of the bride showed up and got into a massive fight (verbal then physical) with the groom.
Most guests took this as their cue to get out, which is a shame bc it was explosive. The friend tried to actually give a love confession at some point, the groom yelling over him. The bride apparently had enough, ditching them both in what was supposed to be the getaway car.
The mother of the bride said to the mother of the groom "I'm so glad Amy chose someone like James for her first husband.".
My buddy who is an attorney made his gift to the groom a free divorce. I won the game at the ceremony of how long it will last…I used Price is Right rules and bet the equivalent of $1.00. The person who bet 6 months lost to me, lol.
The bride found another women’s underwear in the glove compartment of the car. Turned out they were his.
Wedding postponed due to issues between groom and bride’s family. Groom orchestrated a secret wedding ceremony on same date with only his friends and bride. All of bride’s family and friends were excluded despite sisters being her bridesmaids.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.
She rapped a Cardi B song, full length, at the reception and replaced some lyrics with the grooms name. She’s white. She did the “blaccent” too for chrissake. I wanted to run away from secondhand embarrassment and the way he ate it up told me they wouldn’t make it. They got divorced two years later.
The bride's dress was completely wrong -- think romani sweet 16 level 10 embellishment in bright white satin for a modest afternoon budget wedding. It had a long, wide, hopelessly wrinkled train, huge bedazzled wings on each shoulder with full lace mesh sleeves. Hair and makeup were non existent: a struggle bun and a swipe of red lipstick. Veil plopped on the top of her head like a fountain. Nobody said anything, but she looked like she'd been up all night, woke up late, thrown it on and run up the aisle, no mirrors at any point.
A couple hours before, the bride's mom (in full hysterics) had literally threatened not to attend unless she was allowed to walk her down the cramped aisle, which the bride did not want. So mom was beaming, bride was just getting though it.
The bride laughed when they got to the honor and obey part. The groom's brother officiated. Reception was Olive garden catering for over 200 people, half of whom were minors. Chaos.
The bride and groom played some Louis Armstrong and Nat King Cole for the first dances before some old aunties bullied the dj into playing electric slide basically the rest of the night.
To be fair, they were both freshly 19 and thought they had it all figured out, but the wedding was like riding a skateboard down a mountain. Neither family helped with the wedding prep. This was before the Internet, so I'm not even sure how they pulled it off. In any case, it was clear they were gonna be completely on their own for the marriage part.
It lasted 4 years. The pics still make me cringe, especially my dress.
Fortunately my current fiance is not a wedding person. We're just gonna go somewhere and pay someone to make it all happen, and nobody is invited.
Covid wedding. Bride refused to dress up or even shower. Looked like she was going to her funeral.
I divorced her 2 years later. Couldn’t be happier.
I know this may only be applicable in my bubble or whatever but my friends and I concluded that every destination wedding we went to did not last long as a marriage.
I have a good one. Before the reception started, the groom needed to write a check to pay the caterer. He asked the guy, "What's the date?" I was the groom. 😉
I have a good one. Before the reception started, the groom needed to write a check to pay the caterer. He asked the guy, "What's the date?" I was the groom. 😉
