Size 30 Bride Demands To Try On A Size 14 Wedding Dress, Saleswoman Asks If She Was A Jerk To Give Her A Reality Check
Talking about people’s weight is an incredibly sensitive subject. One wrong word—even if you didn’t mean anything ill by it—and you could accidentally insult someone. This is an issue that becomes incredibly delicate for salespeople. Especially those selling wedding dresses to brides. Sometimes, diplomacy simply isn’t enough, no matter how hard you try.
One redditor, who works as a bridal sales associate, turned to the AITA subreddit for advice on whether or not she messed up when dealing with a rude client who wanted to try on a dress that was clearly far too small for her. The client wears size 30 dresses and wanted to put on a size 14 one. The saleswoman tried to be polite in how she handled things, but everything backfired.
Scroll down for the full story, dear Pandas. Once you’ve finished reading everything, drop on by the comment section and tell us who you think was at fault in this particular case. How would you have handled the situation? Let us know! Bored Panda reached out to Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, for their thoughts about picking out wedding dresses. Read on for their advice.
A wedding dress saleswoman landed herself in hot water after accidentally body-shaming her client
Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual photo)
Here’s the full story about how a size 30 bride wanted to try on a size 14 dress
Image credits: Hussein Altameemi (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual photo)
The author of the story clarified a couple of things for the AITA community later on

The fallout from the sales associate’s comment was almost immediate. The client tried to get her in trouble with her manager. Most AITA community members thought that it was the client who was being a jerk, not the saleswoman.
“We hear so often that brides will go into their dress shopping experience thinking that a certain style will be perfect for them and often finding themselves totally surprised that a totally different style is often what actually looks best on them. So our advice is to keep an open mind and trust that the sales associates often have a lot more experience in this field and are trying to guide you towards what they know will look best,” Anna and Sarah, from The Wedding Society, shared with Bored Panda.
“If you are losing hope then take a step back, a deep breath, and a reset. There are literally millions of dresses out there. Decision paralysis is real so let yourself be guided and keep an open mind,” they noted that having some flexibility and trust in professionals can be very helpful.
“The importance of the dress really depends on the person wearing it. It certainly is something you need to be fully aligned with or you’re always going to look at your pictures with a little bit of regret or disappointment,” they shared.
“That said, your own expectations of how you look will always feel more impactful than how you will actually look to your spouse and guests—we promise, they’re looking at you and your beaming smile—not what’s on your body.”
How you phrase things, what tone of voice you use, what your body language is like—these are all incredibly important things for someone working in sales. Whether you’re in retail or a barista or in a high-end boutique, small details can make or break the sale.
At the same time, you can only be held responsible for your own intentions and efforts, not for how someone chooses to react. Specific wording that’s super smooth might work 99 out of 100 times, but there might always be a customer who chooses to get offended by how you phrased your comment. At the end of the day, you can’t control how someone will react; you can only do your best to stay professional and defuse tense situations as best you know.
Alexander Kjerulf, from the Positive Sharing project, previously explained to Bored Panda what employees should do if they encounter a rude customer. Though, really, it’s not a question of ‘if,’ it’s a matter of ‘when’ that will happen. Most people are completely fine, but a tiny minority can ruin your day with how they treat you.
“Keep your cool and remember that whatever abuse they’re giving you is no reflection on you as a person. That customer doesn’t even know you, so there’s no way it could be. But on the other hand, don’t be subservient. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell customers that abuse is not tolerated. And if it persists, hand them over to a manager as soon as you can and let them deal with it,” Alexander explained how employees ought to react when under fire from a rude customer who seems to have it out for them.
“You have to remember that in many cases a customer who behaves badly is not necessarily a bad person—it can be a good person having a bad day and that’s why they’re acting out. But the sad truth is that some customers act this way because they’ve learned that it works and will get them discounts or preferential treatment,” he noted that, broadly speaking, there are two categories of rude customers: those who are having an awful day and those who see rudeness as a tool to get what they want.
In his opinion, a better motto than ‘the customer is always right’ would be: ‘Be nice, or at least don’t be a jerk.’
“And this goes for both customers and employees. Whenever I’m a customer anywhere, I always try to be kind and positive to the staff—even when occasionally I have to complain about something. It’s literally the least I can do.”
The vast majority of redditors were sympathetic towards the saleswoman. Here’s how they reacted and the advice they gave
I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either.
I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD
Load More Replies...It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently.
At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check.
Load More Replies...There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today.
She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints
Load More Replies...You did nothing wrong. And I say this as a size 26 woman. Dealing with reality is not body shaming.
I know right? I purposely don't go shopping in places where I know I won't find clothes my size. The bride was delusional.
Load More Replies...My mom does alterations and I guarantee you that this isn't about the salesperson being mean or offensive, this is about a customer who didn't do her research. You can check beforehand, you can't break or tear too small dresses. Body shaming had nothing to do with it.
I shame anybody who's a rude idiot, fat or boney.
Load More Replies...Wedding dresses infamously run small, so trying on the correct size was already a long shot. And holding one up to your body is NO way to try it on, you have to try it on your actual body to see how it fits, where the waist is vs your waist (I have a high waist, I KNOW some cuts don’t flatter me), how the bust fits, the sleeves, the skirt, the length, etc. Wedding dresses usually have a lot going on, structurally, so eyeing one does not equal an actual fitting.
Right. I've also heard when wedding dress shopping, it's a no no to do that. Its makes an unrealistic expectation. You fall in love with something that won't fit, or have alternate sizes of the same dress.
Load More Replies...Oof. I was a "bridal consultant" (wedding dress sales assoc) on the weekend shift in college. Wedding dress shopping is such a high stress and emotional experience for brides-to-be even if you're not plus sized. This woman sounds like a rookie who didn't know how to handle the situation. It sounds like the bride tried to show her the size 14 to give her an idea of what she's looking for. In which case, she should have said something like, "That dress is beautiful. I see the style you're looking for is X. Let me try to find something similar that you can try on comfortably." You can almost always order dresses in a larger size, unless they're discontinued or one-of-a-kind.
Been looking around to see if anyone had the basic children's level of common sense to understand that.. Very glad to at least see one person not just desperately trying to defend skillful subtle rudeness. .... As if subtlety makes it okay. I get 'stealth bullied' a LOT myself so I am really annoyed reading this all. Why would she not be allowed to just look how a certain pattern looks held up against her?? I hope that salesperson switches careers. As if the size of a piece of clothing stops your from understanding what that pattern looks like, etc..... Smh. I can hold CHILD clothing up against my body and tell if I like it and I just want a bigger one! There's no reason to be rude as all get out because your customer is chubby.. really disgusting how some people show their true colors.
Load More Replies...I'm not saying a size 30 woman is definitely justified with thinking they can fit into a size 14 but women's fashion needs to get away from their weird numbering system since it is meaningless. I guarantee every size 14 in that shop was actually a different size since each manufacturer can change what the number means, even between items. Is a size 14 dress built for a woman with a 42 inch bust and 32 inch hips or a 32 inch bust and 42 inch hips? Is the hemline for someone 4'11" or 6'2"?
As a woman, I wish our pants were sized the way men's pants are
Load More Replies...Body shaming is being an a*****e about someone's weight. Period. Calling someone fat, or words similar is rude. Asking someone their size in a setting where it's appropriate... NOT BODY SHAMING! It's not like you don't know your size & what fits. Doesn't matter if your a size 90000 or a -80 lol. You. Know. Your. Size. You know what fits. Don't play dumb & don't be a d**k & try to get someone fired just because you are upset. I understand wedding dress shopping is hella stressful... again doesn't matter what size you are. It's a nightmare. I imagine it being even harder for curvy & plus sized women.. as not everywhere is inclusive. But that's not the sales associates fault. If you have a problem with the inclusivity... take it up with the damn company.
Idk. Because I agree that the bridal consultant was a bit rude but then again the bride brought up the fact she was a size 30 and the consultant told her the truth...this was not a plus size friendly bridal shop so there were only 3 dresses in stock in size 30. Could the bridal consultant handled it better? Absolutely. Was it all one sided? Nope. And let's not forget...the customer ended up buying a dress so maybe it was just a miscommunication about sizing or a personality conflict.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA but as a big girl, I can tell you your plus sized customer probably has all kinds of triggers and issues just walking into a dress shop, let alone (gulp) trying something on. Trying something on, especially with thin pretty ladies around, is an utter nightmare. Thank you for trying to be kind to her. If it was me I'd want to look at a few "in my dreams I could wear this" dresses. And then I would sigh and get something that fit. It is wonderful that your shop can even GET a 30.
There's nothing kind about telling the customer that they don't want to be squeezing her into the dress. It was rude whether the person as a size 30 or a size 8.
Load More Replies...I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either.
I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD
Load More Replies...It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently.
At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check.
Load More Replies...There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today.
She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints
Load More Replies...You did nothing wrong. And I say this as a size 26 woman. Dealing with reality is not body shaming.
I know right? I purposely don't go shopping in places where I know I won't find clothes my size. The bride was delusional.
Load More Replies...My mom does alterations and I guarantee you that this isn't about the salesperson being mean or offensive, this is about a customer who didn't do her research. You can check beforehand, you can't break or tear too small dresses. Body shaming had nothing to do with it.
I shame anybody who's a rude idiot, fat or boney.
Load More Replies...Wedding dresses infamously run small, so trying on the correct size was already a long shot. And holding one up to your body is NO way to try it on, you have to try it on your actual body to see how it fits, where the waist is vs your waist (I have a high waist, I KNOW some cuts don’t flatter me), how the bust fits, the sleeves, the skirt, the length, etc. Wedding dresses usually have a lot going on, structurally, so eyeing one does not equal an actual fitting.
Right. I've also heard when wedding dress shopping, it's a no no to do that. Its makes an unrealistic expectation. You fall in love with something that won't fit, or have alternate sizes of the same dress.
Load More Replies...Oof. I was a "bridal consultant" (wedding dress sales assoc) on the weekend shift in college. Wedding dress shopping is such a high stress and emotional experience for brides-to-be even if you're not plus sized. This woman sounds like a rookie who didn't know how to handle the situation. It sounds like the bride tried to show her the size 14 to give her an idea of what she's looking for. In which case, she should have said something like, "That dress is beautiful. I see the style you're looking for is X. Let me try to find something similar that you can try on comfortably." You can almost always order dresses in a larger size, unless they're discontinued or one-of-a-kind.
Been looking around to see if anyone had the basic children's level of common sense to understand that.. Very glad to at least see one person not just desperately trying to defend skillful subtle rudeness. .... As if subtlety makes it okay. I get 'stealth bullied' a LOT myself so I am really annoyed reading this all. Why would she not be allowed to just look how a certain pattern looks held up against her?? I hope that salesperson switches careers. As if the size of a piece of clothing stops your from understanding what that pattern looks like, etc..... Smh. I can hold CHILD clothing up against my body and tell if I like it and I just want a bigger one! There's no reason to be rude as all get out because your customer is chubby.. really disgusting how some people show their true colors.
Load More Replies...I'm not saying a size 30 woman is definitely justified with thinking they can fit into a size 14 but women's fashion needs to get away from their weird numbering system since it is meaningless. I guarantee every size 14 in that shop was actually a different size since each manufacturer can change what the number means, even between items. Is a size 14 dress built for a woman with a 42 inch bust and 32 inch hips or a 32 inch bust and 42 inch hips? Is the hemline for someone 4'11" or 6'2"?
As a woman, I wish our pants were sized the way men's pants are
Load More Replies...Body shaming is being an a*****e about someone's weight. Period. Calling someone fat, or words similar is rude. Asking someone their size in a setting where it's appropriate... NOT BODY SHAMING! It's not like you don't know your size & what fits. Doesn't matter if your a size 90000 or a -80 lol. You. Know. Your. Size. You know what fits. Don't play dumb & don't be a d**k & try to get someone fired just because you are upset. I understand wedding dress shopping is hella stressful... again doesn't matter what size you are. It's a nightmare. I imagine it being even harder for curvy & plus sized women.. as not everywhere is inclusive. But that's not the sales associates fault. If you have a problem with the inclusivity... take it up with the damn company.
Idk. Because I agree that the bridal consultant was a bit rude but then again the bride brought up the fact she was a size 30 and the consultant told her the truth...this was not a plus size friendly bridal shop so there were only 3 dresses in stock in size 30. Could the bridal consultant handled it better? Absolutely. Was it all one sided? Nope. And let's not forget...the customer ended up buying a dress so maybe it was just a miscommunication about sizing or a personality conflict.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA but as a big girl, I can tell you your plus sized customer probably has all kinds of triggers and issues just walking into a dress shop, let alone (gulp) trying something on. Trying something on, especially with thin pretty ladies around, is an utter nightmare. Thank you for trying to be kind to her. If it was me I'd want to look at a few "in my dreams I could wear this" dresses. And then I would sigh and get something that fit. It is wonderful that your shop can even GET a 30.
There's nothing kind about telling the customer that they don't want to be squeezing her into the dress. It was rude whether the person as a size 30 or a size 8.
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