Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
65submissions
Finished
“Veterinarians, What Are The Funniest Pet Names You’ve Had Come Into Your Clinic?” (65 Stories)
Working as a vet can be incredibly stressful and challenging, yet also deeply fulfilling. And it helps if you and your clients have a good sense of humor. Like when you realize that you’ll be treating pets with the names Big Dog, Chicken Salad, and Greg From Accounting.
Humor-loving veterinarians revealed the funniest names of the pets that have ever come into their clinics, and their stories are brilliant. We’ve collected the best ones to chase away the winter blues and bring a bit of sunshine into your life. Scroll down for a big dose of laughter.
Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I know a dog called Askit,
So when people inquire about the dog's name, the owner says, "Askit".
RELATED:
#3
Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that.
All jokes aside for a moment, working as a vet can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining.
According to one recent study, the biggest job-related burdens that veterinarians think they have to deal with are bureaucracy, animal suffering, and communication with animal owners.
However, in reality, bureaucracy has a much smaller negative effect on mental health than financial concerns. The latter, while not ranked by vets in the study as a main stressor, has the strongest correlation with impaired mental health.
#5
My friend named her cat Albus Purrrrrcival Wool-fric (he's SUPER fluffy) Brian Fluffledore. She calls him by his full name in all it's glory when he is naughty.
Meanwhile, Reviving Veterinary Medicine explains that some of the biggest challenges that vets face at work include financial constraints, client expectations, emotional attachments, and burnout due to their massive workload.
Other major issues include ethical dilemmas, compassion fatigue, legal and professional pressure, and problems with team dynamics.
Coping with the emotional toll of the job can be incredibly difficult, so vets need to learn to balance their empathy and compassion with emotional boundaries, self-awareness, and consistent self-care.
#7
Had a cat come in named Ghostface Killah once. He was all black with a white "mask" on his face so it fit pretty well.
#9
Used to be a vet tech. There was a dog named Possum. Thought that was an odd name, until you walked up to the dog and it dropped to the ground and rolled over onto it's back. Most fitting name ever.
What are the funniest pet names that you’ve ever heard in real-life, dear Pandas? What names did you give your own beloved pets? How did you come up with them, and where did you look for inspiration?
Are there any vets in the audience today? If so, what are the biggest pros and cons of your job?
Let us know what you think in the comments.
#11
I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim.
#14
I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, "Who knocked over the vase?" And you sing, "Maybe it's Maybelline.".
#15
[jerky]. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a [jerky] in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller.
#17
Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named "Bone Crusher." He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6'4" and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all.
#19
Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he'd make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food.
#21
Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them -- Big Dog and Glitter.
#28
My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada).
#29
Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named [jerk] yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can't remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head.
#32
Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they'd probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister's cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named "Batman."
As the lady behind the counter put it, "We've had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though."
As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30's at the time, just insisted repeatedly that "Batman is a cool name for a girl.".
#33
I'm no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn't satisfied with a pet that didn't have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead.
Side note: I'm no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms.
#38
My sister used to work at a doggy daycare, and there was a dog whose name was [darn it]. "Come inside, [darn it]!".
#39
DVM Student here.
I've met:
* A cat named Paperwork
* A cat named Monkeyslap
* A toy Schnauzer named Snackpack
* And a Great Dane named "Left Boot"...
His human was a 7 year old boy who yelled at me because I misread his name which was written "L. Boot" Which I assumed was a kid trying to write "El Boots".
I was like "El Boots" is an adorable name, did you think of that?" He yelled at me and said, "NO, HE'S JUST ONE BOOT. LEFT BOOT."
Also, my Leopard Gecko's name is Fitzlizard Darcy...
#40
I have a rescue husky who was abandoned at a petrol station in Cyprus. We named him Diesel.
#41
My brother's cat was called Tiba. He didn't want a cat, it kind of moved in. He took it to the vet and, because it didn't have a name was marked "TBA" (To Be Announced).
#42
Grandpa is a vet, but these pets were in the family.
"Migraine" - yellow lab,
"Alfonzo Horatio Montego III" - I don't know what breed he was. He was about 70 lbs,
"Henry Jesus" - huge gray and spotted Shepard that was born an only child.
"Mecca" or "Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney [jerk]" - Her b**t had so much emotion.
There's more but those are the ones off the top of my head.
#43
Not a vet but my neighbour had a dog called deefer (d for)... The dog's name was literally 'deefer dog' (d for dog) .
#46
Okay, not a vet, but my bf and I were walking through campus one night. We hear vicious barking nearby, followed by a stern, male voice saying "be quiet, Biscuit!"
Just the juxtaposition of the downright feral growling and the fact that the dogs name was Biscuit had us in stitches.
#47
Not a vet but my mom named her guinea pigs Scratch and Sniff. We also have a dog who was originally named MJ (As in Mary Jane, not Micheal Jackson. We had a dog named Spidie (which is a short form of Spiderman) at the time so it fit) but was nicknamed Noodle after getting a spaghetti noodle stuck to her face for half an hour. This is now what she responds to and therefore her name. Noodle's a good dog.
Also, my goldfish was named Magikarp. This is the only one that was entirely my fault. The other ones were my parents' ideas.
#49
Am a tech. Once had a olive yellow lab named Dawg at some point. Last week we had this really small yet chuncky chihuahua named Walnut who couldnt keep her tongue in her mouth. There was a dog I was instructed to not even go near as he's extremely aggressive and needs to be calm for his groom. His name is Hayden so I'm expecting some giant GSD or something. No. It was a small all brown, ancient cocker spaniel.
#50
Crazy cat lady here. The best pet names I’ve heard are Speed Bump for a tortoise and Schrodinger for a cat. I’m stealing that one.
#51
Veterinarian here.
Upinsmoke ( a Persian cat)
Car number nine ( another cat)
A lady with 4 cats - Elvis , Bosom, Jesus and Barbara
Dog called Sol ( our Sol = arsole)
Bat man, a cat with facial markings like a mask
The Kid Sampson = a bulldog
The nurses name all wild crows Russell and seagulls, Steven
Forgot about Bizzle Chips (bullmastif) and Gravel (my own dog) Gravel had a gritty childhood.
#56
My parents rescued a staffordshire terrier and a pitbull mix. Staffie was named Bogart (Bogie for short) and my parents didn't change his name. My dad started calling him BigHead. Now he only responds to BigHead. His name is down as BigHead on vet and groomer records. People think my dad is being mean until they see this dog. He really does have a rather large head.
#60
My husband's parents had two cats named Watson and Crick. Now they just have Crick, who is a marshmellow of a cat.
#62
Vet tech in training, we had a rabbit come through with a German name that translated to lunch meat I think lol.
#64
Not a vet, but work at a vet clinic (kennel worker). We had two dogs come in named "Peanut Butter" (male) and "Butter Cookie" (female). Both responded exclusively to "Butter."
Another time, we had a mean pom named "Puppylove.".
Related on Bored Panda
