Woman Refuses To Change The Destination Of Her And Her BF’s Getaway After Learning Sister “Plans” To Spend Her Honeymoon There
It’s not a crime to want a perfect wedding and all things related to this special occasion – however, it is pretty bonkers to find yourself willing to sacrifice all human decency to have it your way.
A Reddit user that goes by u/Traditional_List_263 recently took to one of the platform’s communities to share that when her sister, who’s a bride-to-be, learned that the woman’s anniversary getaway destination coincides with her honeymoon location, she threatened to remove her from the wedding if she doesn’t cancel or change the location.
More info: Reddit
Bride-to-be makes a fuss about sister’s anniversary trip location because it coincides with her honeymoon destination
Image credits: chelsealwood (not the actual photo)
The woman asks her sibling to cancel or change the getaway destination and threatens to remove her from the wedding if she won’t do so
Image credits: RJ Ideal I Do’s (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LeahAndMark & Co. (not the actual photo)
Image source: Traditional_List_263 (not the actual photo)
“AITA for vacationing at my sister’s dream honeymoon destination?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking and judgmental communities to ask its members if she’s indeed a jerk for refusing to change her anniversary getaway location after her sister demanded she did so. The post managed to garner over 6K upvotes as well as 1.7K comments discussing the situation.
Siblings bicker – that’s what they do; however, this specific tale is more related to a person’s lack of self-awareness and extreme entitlement.
So, without further ado, let’s jump into the story.
The woman began her post by revealing that her sister has always been a wedding person. Ever since she was younger, she dreamed about a perfect wedding and even planned it all before meeting her now-fiancé.
Now that she’s engaged, she wants everything from an expensive venue to a designer dress – plus, the bride-to-be also cares a lot about being “the first” and making everything “just hers.” The post’s creator has no issues with that whatsoever and is happy that her sibling gets to live her dream – however, recently, a rather ugly conflict arose.
The problem is that the author’s boyfriend arranged an anniversary getaway to Honolulu, which actually happens to be where her sister plans to spend her honeymoon. The woman stated that neither she nor her boyfriend was aware of her sibling’s plans and added that nothing had been reserved yet; rather, everything had just been agreed upon.
The sister said that if the woman goes there first, it’ll rob her of the surprise and “specialness” of the destination, so she insisted that she cancel the trip or change the location.
The OP called her sister “entitled” and refused to change anything, as it was a surprise vacation planned by her boyfriend
Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)
Naturally, the author got upset and called her sister out on her entitlement, as there was no way she was going to tell her partner to change or cancel things when he did something so nice for his significant other.
The sister wouldn’t let up and eventually threatened to remove the woman from the wedding if she didn’t change her vacation spot. And as the cherry on top, their parents weren’t super helpful either and practically begged the author to give in to “keep the peace.”
The author’s gem of a boyfriend has offered to pick a new location as he despises seeing his loved one so upset and fighting with family – however, the woman doesn’t want to change anything, so she took online to seek out some unbiased opinions on whether she is indeed a jerk.
What do you think about it? Would you change the location of your trip if you were in the author’s shoes?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
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Share on FacebookIt's actually not the entitled bridezilla that bothers me with these posts, it's the crazy number of parents who are apparently more than happy to demonstrate they have a favourite child (to keep the peace!)
Ughhhhhhhh! I want to tear my hair out because of these parents!!! What is it with this obsession of keeping peace?? That's more important than teaching your kids right/wrong?!
Load More Replies...Tell her you're shopping for a white dress to wear to her wedding and have the boyfriend mention that he's planning on proposing to you at the reception and see if you can completely push her over the edge.
Nah... Don't go to the wedding. Go back to Hawaii again and send her pics during the reception.
Load More Replies...so... the sister is mad because she wants to go to one of the most visited islands used as a honeymoon island that exists.. first? HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *coughs and chokes* HA,...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA*wheezing* nta.
Yes. And they're from California. Hawaii is a massively popular destination in the Western states because it's not that long of a flight. Most people I know that have the discretionary income to travel have been there multiple times.
Load More Replies..."... My parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace." THIS is why she is an entitled beech! I'll lay $100 that mommy and daddy have done that her entire life, and never told her that she doesn't get everything she wants.
Yep. Been there. There's a reason I've barely talked to my sister since my parents passed.
Load More Replies...I'd tell her to shove her wedding invite where the sun don't shine (in a bin with a lid) and just not go the the wedding anyway. Any "adult" who is that childish deserves a good slap in the left tit. But seriously, if she's not careful her sister won't be the only one she pushes away. And changing hair colour cos you don't want anyone the same... wtaf?
Srsly. I can't understand why this chick is even still on speaking terms with her a-hole sister.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one who thinks the parents sound dreadful? “My parents are begging me to give in just to keep the peace”. B****r that.
Wait, "búgger" gets censored now? We used to have a cat named Búgger, for heaven's sake.
Load More Replies...Honolulu is a huge tourist destination. Wonder what sis will think when she's just one of many there, even many honeymooners. "my parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace" says it all.
Here's the thing, sis probably knows she's not the first person ever to honeymoon in Honolulu, she just needs to be first out of the sibling group. Hence the parents announcing who is the favourite child - sis already knows it's her, being first in her parents affections was just the start
Load More Replies...So get uninvited. OPs absence will be noticed and asked about. There is no way Sister can spin that explanation without sounding like a lunatic no matter how much she stamps her pretty little bridal foot. And, once the wedding is over and OP is left out, there is no way SIL can undo that tantrum, forever colouring the family's perception of her. Groom better watch out. Actually, treat this like any toddler having a tantrum over being a Gimme Pig. Say no. Stick to it. Let them cry themself out. If you keep giving into a spoiled brat, their demands just keep getting worse and worse. Set and keep a boundary no matter how much you want to give in at the moment.
Bridezilla will just make up some BS to make it her sister's fault. Like sister was invited to the wedding but refused to attend because *she* didn't like Bridezilla's program or decorations or something. Entitled people have spent their whole lives making others out to be the bad guy, if for nothing but to justify their entitled behavior to themselves. Do not underestimate their ability to convince others of their delusions. You pretty much have to catch them in the act in public so they have no out, and are forced to confront their own misbehavior.
Load More Replies...Who's gonna tell bride that she most certainly won't be a the first person to visit...
She won't even be the first honeymooner. And not the only one that week.
Load More Replies...Sister is the AH. Boyfriend is an Angel. You need to chill just a bit and enjoy the fact that your boyfriend cares so much about you and your family.
Behavior of parents kinda explain why sister is an AH and poor OP is even questioning something this absurd
Load More Replies...I hope her sister never gets to go, main character tourists like her are the worst.
Is your sister aware that people actually live in Honolulu? And it sees about half a million visitors a month? NTA, and your sister is being completely ridiculous.
I'll bet everyone always walks on eggshells around her to keep peace in the family. Why? Because she has the loudest temper tantrums. Hawaii is a big place, there is room for both of you to visit and not see the same sites. So go and enjoy the gift your sweety arranged for you two. I hope the groom to be comes to his senses and runs as fast as he can away from this wedding. He deserves calm happiness not histerical chaos. She is toxic.
Honolulu isn’t tropical. Hawaii isn’t that exotic of a location. Especially for a Californian. When she made it sound like a special destination, I never considered a man made beach full of congested hotels & shops to be the location. Maybe Bora Bora. Or even Kauai. But Honolulu??? Maybe I’m jaded, living on a neighbor island, but Oahu & Honolulu in particular, seems like the least exotic or unique place to visit.
It was exotic for my husband and I as we are from the UK and with the various flight connections (to keep the cost down) it took us 24 hours to travel, each way. From California, though? That’s just a short hop and probably more worthy of an anniversary visit.
Load More Replies...Sister shouldn't marry. Millions of people made the experience before. There is nothing special about weddings and marriages anymore.
OP needs to move on with her vacation (and life) and let the cards fall as they may. If crazy sister cuts her out of the wedding, so be it. OP needs starts enjoying her adult life now without worrying about sister.
Go to Hawaii and take your sister up on being uninvited to the wedding. Get to go to a tropical island and skip a crappy wedding. Win Win.
Yeah. Not worth fighting over. Personally I prefer the Big Island, more to do and more space, less people, no big cities, way less expensive, and safer, but whatever. OP should refuse to engage or argue. She should go on her trip, wherever she wants to. If she gets left out of the wedding she should just act like it's no big deal to her. If she refuses to engage or argue over it, peace kept on her end. At that point it's the sister making an issue. You can't argue with unreasonable people, they don't care of they're right or wrong, they just want to win or else argue forever. Hope she doesn't dye her hair, either, though, it sounds like she wasn't planning on it.
There are multiple Hawaiian islands. Tell her to go to Kauai, it's a much more romantic destination.
Wow that's one hell of a sense of entitlement. I don't think being cut out of this wedding would be all that big a loss. Yikes.
If it was me. I would tell the sister that I accept the compromise and will not attend the wedding. I would also plan a second vacation to coincide with the wedding in the same area as the wedding at the same time.
Your sister may be one of the biggest entitled AH/Bridezillas I've ever heard of. I feel sorry for her fiance. I'm waiting for her to shout "but I want an oompa loompa NOW!" I agree with the other comments. Your parents suck too. Your boyfriend is amazing. Go on your trip and send all of us pandas who also think you are NTA some pictures. Have a great time.
Excellent! Her sister is Veruca Salt! That's perfect!
Load More Replies...Surely the most important thing about a honeymoon is spending time alone with your loved one?
In the sis' shoes, I would be all : DON'T GIVE ME THE DETAILS! But I NEED to know. Is it as good as it seems? YOU BETTER TRY EVERYTHING! I'm serious! You try absolutely EVERYTHING. You put the best things in an envelope and seal it so I can have a perfect to do list for my honeymoon! I have high expectations for you.. Don't disappoint me
So she 'planned' to go there but told no one? BS. Bridezilla heard that her sister would have something nice and decided it had to be hers because she couldn't stand the thought that her sister would have anything before her big day. She decided then and there that she wanted Hawaii for herself to throw a tantrum. Bf should rebook to something even more grande, like island hopping in Polynesia. See her throwing another tantrum about that and claiming that she already planned that because her sister already 'ruined' Hawaii for her!
Don't cancel your plans for her. Enjoy your romantic getaway. Maybe just don't give her any details about your experience so she won't say you spoiled it for her. Btw, I think she is envious of you.
OP is stealing Honolulu? Honolulu? That's a large city with many BEACH-SIDE large hotels, and even more a bit inland. I'd guess potential guest populations to be in the many thousands. Go. Have a great time. Even if sister had her honeymoon there on the same dates, it's unlikely that the two couples would ever meet. Sis is a 24-carat solid AH.
What is it that makes brides to be so totally unhinged? 99.9% of my female relatives and friends were easy going, minimum stress and demands. The only things I picked out was my dress, flowers and colour scheme. Didn't even know until the day before who was going to drive me to the service. My cousin came for our wedding in a gorgeous red sports car and was thrilled to drive me
919,154 visitors visit the Hawaiian Islands every year! Would she like the other 919,152 to cancel as well? Tell her AND your parents to grow up!
The bride sounds like an entitled, whiny, spoiled brat, and I feel sorry for the poor dude she's marrying... Dude, if you can hear me, RUN...
What is with people's families weighing in on things that really don't concern them? They are the true AHs in all of these posts
If you won't dye your hair you'll be out of the wedding party. If you don't change your destination you'll be out of the wedding party. Do whatever YOU want. You're not destroying any of her entitled requests.
Opt out of the wedding and have a really fantastic time in Honolulu with your BF, Op. Your sister haven't booked a flight nor a hotel, anyway. When it's your time to get married, and your sister (or family) asks where your honeymoon would be - give them a different location, in the event your entitled-beeyatch of a sister decides to do a revenge; then, go to your *actual* honeymoon destination.
Not just a bridezilla. We're talking full blown narcisist, and the parents are enablers.
This is basically the sister just jealous that the OP's boyfriend booked her a surprise getaway. No details on the luxury or star rating? If the OP's boyfriend has splashed out on a better hotel and resort than the bride and groom can afford etc then you can bet that's probably what the Bridezilla has a bee in her bonnet about rather than the destination. Like, 'waaah I'm the bride, I'm getting married, I should have that luxury accommodation not you'. Also, maybe she knows her fiancé would never do this for an anniversary, so there is that type of jealousy too. Better partner and all that.
The author's sister was indeed behaving entitled at this particular issues, shes really overwhelmed about this perfect wedding she ever dream. Well, the boyfriend is a saver, the family suggested to give way for the sake of peace but the author was kinda stubborn, probably she was offended by unkind approached of her sister, worst even threatened her getting remove in the wedding list which shows the sister was indeed jerk in the situation. I believe the author can give way if the sister could approached her nicely Eventhough, she appeared entitled and being so crazy of this particular venue. If I am the sister of this crazy lady, i will still let her get the place to save the occassion and the harmony within the family. Soon she might realized how brat she is and how fortunate for having a kind sister like the author. In life and in family matter, there are conflicts that can be resolved by love and understanding. Wisdom will enlightened us which battle to fight.
Based on your parents reactions it's pretty obvious WHY she's such an entitled b*tch.
She can go to the island of Hawai'i. There are two active volcanoes (Mona Loa and Kilauea) with fresh, never before walked on lava for her. Check with park officials to find the best for lava walking. 7.8 billion people in the world and she could literally be the fist to walk on this new land.
Imagine when she arrives at the hotel…and there’s 87 brides there, all ready to celebrate ***ME*** and all my bridal specialness glory ! OMG, I will dream of this forever (whenever I want to laugh till I choke !)
I'm the one who is always expected to keep the peace, get over it and just let it go. Well I'm done with that forced upon role! Gas lighting at its finest and abusive. Everyone else's feelings matter except mine and its so damaging. I implore anyone who experiences the same treatment to muster up their inner Incredible Hulk and put a stop to it! You matter, your feelings matter, your sanity and wellbeing are the priority. OP needs to stop caving to these ridiculous demands and so do the parents. Its emotional extortion! Enjoy that getaway and don't dye your hair unless you want to.
Nta. Personally, id tell her that if she wants to truly be the first to go somewhere, book a trip to Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, or something. But I'd highly recommend Uranus. Heard its nice this time of year, and her head is already there.
What, is the sister and her bf going to be invited to the honeymoon? Who exactly is ruining what surprise by going there? It'd be one thing for a family vacation but even then...
Drop Sister Bridezilla, drop your sh*tty family and go on vacation. Some people ought to learn being first ain't always a good thing, but good things should always be shared and not hogged by oneself. Some people really need to be reality checked hard. Smh...
Geez, OP could go to Hawaii and just not tell or show her sister anything about the trip until she's had hers. There that problem is solved. Sister being an AH appears to be more complicated.
YNTA both your sister and parents are. WTF there is really nothing all that "special" about Honolulu, just another overcrowded, overrated big city 😴. Kauai or the Big Island are better, hell's bells Fiji,Bora Bora or Phuket are more special. Tell her you're not changing anything for her highness and not going to attend her fantasy either.
Yeah why would that matter. In a normal family they'd say or great you can tell where to avoid
Call her bluff, tell her you’ll be very sorry to miss her wedding but your Husband Will not be changing your Anniversary plans to pander to her. She gets ONE DAY To have things the way she wants them NOT Days, Weeks Or Months. You’re not even going to be there the same time they are, she’s ridiculous, tell her I’m booking the honey moon suite in the hotel so she can’t be the 1 millionth person to visit there.
She is upset because she will be not first in the most cliche honeymoon destination? XD if this is enough to not invite you to wedding and parents agree, you need new family
I'd tell her you changed the destination and then go anyway. Just not post pictures until after her sister's wedding. No spoilage.
Definitely NTA. That said, OP needs to decide if she can truly enjoy Honolulu now or not. If she can, then go, and point out to sister that there are other islands/places in Hawaii that are just as or even more romantic than Honolulu.
Going to Honolulu for a honeymoon is akin to going to Disneyland. You should tell your sister that she made you realize how overhyped Honolulu is, with its over development and crowds of tourists. Honolulu or Oahu are places to go if you want to have the true "tourist experience". Maui is recognized as being the most romantic island. If you changed your destination to Maui, and told your sisteryou've "rejected" Honolulu as being too pedestrian, you'll have a couple of positive outcomes. Your sister will most likely pop her cork realizing that you are going somewhere even more special. She will feel like she chose second best, but she had such a fit about claiming Honolulu as her personal property, she won't be able to say a thing without looking like what she really is. Your parents can't fault you for doing exactly what they requested. This would definitely mute her pleasure over getting her way. The only thing better would be if you could go the same week she goes.
Or, if she doesn't want to make a big stink during this "joyous" time and still attend her sister's wedding - just tell the sister she changed the location, still go to Honolulu and keep lip zipped afterwards. It's not like she (the sister) is going to show up and see OP there. I only say this because I also have an entitled, spoiled sister who thinks the world revolves around her, so I know some tricks.
"She asked me to dye my hair so we don't match"... WHAT? Stop. You weren't the AH to begin with, but now I think you earned the right to be.
What irritates me along with AH bridezilla is the SPINELESS coward parents. Like, tell little Bride Demon that everybody's been to Hawaii. Do not got to psycho sisters wedding she's the A.H. and so are your parents
Yea.. to ask you to cancel your surprise anniversary trip is childish. She should've been happy for you. If I had a sister I'd be stoked. I'd also not care if I wasn't invited to the wedding. The explanation of why you weren't there will show her true colors to everyone. A selfish brat.
If the boyfriend wants to change location I'd do it. I'd choose an even better one for her to envy but she won't be able to say anything because she demanded to change a location and so they did
Lol. Honolulu? Is Sis going to ask all the other honeymooners/vacationers to not go? Insane.
I now really, really, want OP and BF to get married while they're in Hawaii (or at least tell sister they did) then they can watch her have a total meltdown about not being the first to get married too. She hasn't even booked her honeymoon, why doesn't she just pick somewhere else?
NTA but this seems like a really easy fix. Just tell your sister you've changed the destination.
Go to Hawaii and take your sister up on being uninvited to the wedding. Get to go to a tropical island and skip a s****y wedding. Win Win.
Sometimes I think people just make these situations up to get posted.
It's actually not the entitled bridezilla that bothers me with these posts, it's the crazy number of parents who are apparently more than happy to demonstrate they have a favourite child (to keep the peace!)
Ughhhhhhhh! I want to tear my hair out because of these parents!!! What is it with this obsession of keeping peace?? That's more important than teaching your kids right/wrong?!
Load More Replies...Tell her you're shopping for a white dress to wear to her wedding and have the boyfriend mention that he's planning on proposing to you at the reception and see if you can completely push her over the edge.
Nah... Don't go to the wedding. Go back to Hawaii again and send her pics during the reception.
Load More Replies...so... the sister is mad because she wants to go to one of the most visited islands used as a honeymoon island that exists.. first? HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *coughs and chokes* HA,...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA*wheezing* nta.
Yes. And they're from California. Hawaii is a massively popular destination in the Western states because it's not that long of a flight. Most people I know that have the discretionary income to travel have been there multiple times.
Load More Replies..."... My parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace." THIS is why she is an entitled beech! I'll lay $100 that mommy and daddy have done that her entire life, and never told her that she doesn't get everything she wants.
Yep. Been there. There's a reason I've barely talked to my sister since my parents passed.
Load More Replies...I'd tell her to shove her wedding invite where the sun don't shine (in a bin with a lid) and just not go the the wedding anyway. Any "adult" who is that childish deserves a good slap in the left tit. But seriously, if she's not careful her sister won't be the only one she pushes away. And changing hair colour cos you don't want anyone the same... wtaf?
Srsly. I can't understand why this chick is even still on speaking terms with her a-hole sister.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one who thinks the parents sound dreadful? “My parents are begging me to give in just to keep the peace”. B****r that.
Wait, "búgger" gets censored now? We used to have a cat named Búgger, for heaven's sake.
Load More Replies...Honolulu is a huge tourist destination. Wonder what sis will think when she's just one of many there, even many honeymooners. "my parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace" says it all.
Here's the thing, sis probably knows she's not the first person ever to honeymoon in Honolulu, she just needs to be first out of the sibling group. Hence the parents announcing who is the favourite child - sis already knows it's her, being first in her parents affections was just the start
Load More Replies...So get uninvited. OPs absence will be noticed and asked about. There is no way Sister can spin that explanation without sounding like a lunatic no matter how much she stamps her pretty little bridal foot. And, once the wedding is over and OP is left out, there is no way SIL can undo that tantrum, forever colouring the family's perception of her. Groom better watch out. Actually, treat this like any toddler having a tantrum over being a Gimme Pig. Say no. Stick to it. Let them cry themself out. If you keep giving into a spoiled brat, their demands just keep getting worse and worse. Set and keep a boundary no matter how much you want to give in at the moment.
Bridezilla will just make up some BS to make it her sister's fault. Like sister was invited to the wedding but refused to attend because *she* didn't like Bridezilla's program or decorations or something. Entitled people have spent their whole lives making others out to be the bad guy, if for nothing but to justify their entitled behavior to themselves. Do not underestimate their ability to convince others of their delusions. You pretty much have to catch them in the act in public so they have no out, and are forced to confront their own misbehavior.
Load More Replies...Who's gonna tell bride that she most certainly won't be a the first person to visit...
She won't even be the first honeymooner. And not the only one that week.
Load More Replies...Sister is the AH. Boyfriend is an Angel. You need to chill just a bit and enjoy the fact that your boyfriend cares so much about you and your family.
Behavior of parents kinda explain why sister is an AH and poor OP is even questioning something this absurd
Load More Replies...I hope her sister never gets to go, main character tourists like her are the worst.
Is your sister aware that people actually live in Honolulu? And it sees about half a million visitors a month? NTA, and your sister is being completely ridiculous.
I'll bet everyone always walks on eggshells around her to keep peace in the family. Why? Because she has the loudest temper tantrums. Hawaii is a big place, there is room for both of you to visit and not see the same sites. So go and enjoy the gift your sweety arranged for you two. I hope the groom to be comes to his senses and runs as fast as he can away from this wedding. He deserves calm happiness not histerical chaos. She is toxic.
Honolulu isn’t tropical. Hawaii isn’t that exotic of a location. Especially for a Californian. When she made it sound like a special destination, I never considered a man made beach full of congested hotels & shops to be the location. Maybe Bora Bora. Or even Kauai. But Honolulu??? Maybe I’m jaded, living on a neighbor island, but Oahu & Honolulu in particular, seems like the least exotic or unique place to visit.
It was exotic for my husband and I as we are from the UK and with the various flight connections (to keep the cost down) it took us 24 hours to travel, each way. From California, though? That’s just a short hop and probably more worthy of an anniversary visit.
Load More Replies...Sister shouldn't marry. Millions of people made the experience before. There is nothing special about weddings and marriages anymore.
OP needs to move on with her vacation (and life) and let the cards fall as they may. If crazy sister cuts her out of the wedding, so be it. OP needs starts enjoying her adult life now without worrying about sister.
Go to Hawaii and take your sister up on being uninvited to the wedding. Get to go to a tropical island and skip a crappy wedding. Win Win.
Yeah. Not worth fighting over. Personally I prefer the Big Island, more to do and more space, less people, no big cities, way less expensive, and safer, but whatever. OP should refuse to engage or argue. She should go on her trip, wherever she wants to. If she gets left out of the wedding she should just act like it's no big deal to her. If she refuses to engage or argue over it, peace kept on her end. At that point it's the sister making an issue. You can't argue with unreasonable people, they don't care of they're right or wrong, they just want to win or else argue forever. Hope she doesn't dye her hair, either, though, it sounds like she wasn't planning on it.
There are multiple Hawaiian islands. Tell her to go to Kauai, it's a much more romantic destination.
Wow that's one hell of a sense of entitlement. I don't think being cut out of this wedding would be all that big a loss. Yikes.
If it was me. I would tell the sister that I accept the compromise and will not attend the wedding. I would also plan a second vacation to coincide with the wedding in the same area as the wedding at the same time.
Your sister may be one of the biggest entitled AH/Bridezillas I've ever heard of. I feel sorry for her fiance. I'm waiting for her to shout "but I want an oompa loompa NOW!" I agree with the other comments. Your parents suck too. Your boyfriend is amazing. Go on your trip and send all of us pandas who also think you are NTA some pictures. Have a great time.
Excellent! Her sister is Veruca Salt! That's perfect!
Load More Replies...Surely the most important thing about a honeymoon is spending time alone with your loved one?
In the sis' shoes, I would be all : DON'T GIVE ME THE DETAILS! But I NEED to know. Is it as good as it seems? YOU BETTER TRY EVERYTHING! I'm serious! You try absolutely EVERYTHING. You put the best things in an envelope and seal it so I can have a perfect to do list for my honeymoon! I have high expectations for you.. Don't disappoint me
So she 'planned' to go there but told no one? BS. Bridezilla heard that her sister would have something nice and decided it had to be hers because she couldn't stand the thought that her sister would have anything before her big day. She decided then and there that she wanted Hawaii for herself to throw a tantrum. Bf should rebook to something even more grande, like island hopping in Polynesia. See her throwing another tantrum about that and claiming that she already planned that because her sister already 'ruined' Hawaii for her!
Don't cancel your plans for her. Enjoy your romantic getaway. Maybe just don't give her any details about your experience so she won't say you spoiled it for her. Btw, I think she is envious of you.
OP is stealing Honolulu? Honolulu? That's a large city with many BEACH-SIDE large hotels, and even more a bit inland. I'd guess potential guest populations to be in the many thousands. Go. Have a great time. Even if sister had her honeymoon there on the same dates, it's unlikely that the two couples would ever meet. Sis is a 24-carat solid AH.
What is it that makes brides to be so totally unhinged? 99.9% of my female relatives and friends were easy going, minimum stress and demands. The only things I picked out was my dress, flowers and colour scheme. Didn't even know until the day before who was going to drive me to the service. My cousin came for our wedding in a gorgeous red sports car and was thrilled to drive me
919,154 visitors visit the Hawaiian Islands every year! Would she like the other 919,152 to cancel as well? Tell her AND your parents to grow up!
The bride sounds like an entitled, whiny, spoiled brat, and I feel sorry for the poor dude she's marrying... Dude, if you can hear me, RUN...
What is with people's families weighing in on things that really don't concern them? They are the true AHs in all of these posts
If you won't dye your hair you'll be out of the wedding party. If you don't change your destination you'll be out of the wedding party. Do whatever YOU want. You're not destroying any of her entitled requests.
Opt out of the wedding and have a really fantastic time in Honolulu with your BF, Op. Your sister haven't booked a flight nor a hotel, anyway. When it's your time to get married, and your sister (or family) asks where your honeymoon would be - give them a different location, in the event your entitled-beeyatch of a sister decides to do a revenge; then, go to your *actual* honeymoon destination.
Not just a bridezilla. We're talking full blown narcisist, and the parents are enablers.
This is basically the sister just jealous that the OP's boyfriend booked her a surprise getaway. No details on the luxury or star rating? If the OP's boyfriend has splashed out on a better hotel and resort than the bride and groom can afford etc then you can bet that's probably what the Bridezilla has a bee in her bonnet about rather than the destination. Like, 'waaah I'm the bride, I'm getting married, I should have that luxury accommodation not you'. Also, maybe she knows her fiancé would never do this for an anniversary, so there is that type of jealousy too. Better partner and all that.
The author's sister was indeed behaving entitled at this particular issues, shes really overwhelmed about this perfect wedding she ever dream. Well, the boyfriend is a saver, the family suggested to give way for the sake of peace but the author was kinda stubborn, probably she was offended by unkind approached of her sister, worst even threatened her getting remove in the wedding list which shows the sister was indeed jerk in the situation. I believe the author can give way if the sister could approached her nicely Eventhough, she appeared entitled and being so crazy of this particular venue. If I am the sister of this crazy lady, i will still let her get the place to save the occassion and the harmony within the family. Soon she might realized how brat she is and how fortunate for having a kind sister like the author. In life and in family matter, there are conflicts that can be resolved by love and understanding. Wisdom will enlightened us which battle to fight.
Based on your parents reactions it's pretty obvious WHY she's such an entitled b*tch.
She can go to the island of Hawai'i. There are two active volcanoes (Mona Loa and Kilauea) with fresh, never before walked on lava for her. Check with park officials to find the best for lava walking. 7.8 billion people in the world and she could literally be the fist to walk on this new land.
Imagine when she arrives at the hotel…and there’s 87 brides there, all ready to celebrate ***ME*** and all my bridal specialness glory ! OMG, I will dream of this forever (whenever I want to laugh till I choke !)
I'm the one who is always expected to keep the peace, get over it and just let it go. Well I'm done with that forced upon role! Gas lighting at its finest and abusive. Everyone else's feelings matter except mine and its so damaging. I implore anyone who experiences the same treatment to muster up their inner Incredible Hulk and put a stop to it! You matter, your feelings matter, your sanity and wellbeing are the priority. OP needs to stop caving to these ridiculous demands and so do the parents. Its emotional extortion! Enjoy that getaway and don't dye your hair unless you want to.
Nta. Personally, id tell her that if she wants to truly be the first to go somewhere, book a trip to Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, or something. But I'd highly recommend Uranus. Heard its nice this time of year, and her head is already there.
What, is the sister and her bf going to be invited to the honeymoon? Who exactly is ruining what surprise by going there? It'd be one thing for a family vacation but even then...
Drop Sister Bridezilla, drop your sh*tty family and go on vacation. Some people ought to learn being first ain't always a good thing, but good things should always be shared and not hogged by oneself. Some people really need to be reality checked hard. Smh...
Geez, OP could go to Hawaii and just not tell or show her sister anything about the trip until she's had hers. There that problem is solved. Sister being an AH appears to be more complicated.
YNTA both your sister and parents are. WTF there is really nothing all that "special" about Honolulu, just another overcrowded, overrated big city 😴. Kauai or the Big Island are better, hell's bells Fiji,Bora Bora or Phuket are more special. Tell her you're not changing anything for her highness and not going to attend her fantasy either.
Yeah why would that matter. In a normal family they'd say or great you can tell where to avoid
Call her bluff, tell her you’ll be very sorry to miss her wedding but your Husband Will not be changing your Anniversary plans to pander to her. She gets ONE DAY To have things the way she wants them NOT Days, Weeks Or Months. You’re not even going to be there the same time they are, she’s ridiculous, tell her I’m booking the honey moon suite in the hotel so she can’t be the 1 millionth person to visit there.
She is upset because she will be not first in the most cliche honeymoon destination? XD if this is enough to not invite you to wedding and parents agree, you need new family
I'd tell her you changed the destination and then go anyway. Just not post pictures until after her sister's wedding. No spoilage.
Definitely NTA. That said, OP needs to decide if she can truly enjoy Honolulu now or not. If she can, then go, and point out to sister that there are other islands/places in Hawaii that are just as or even more romantic than Honolulu.
Going to Honolulu for a honeymoon is akin to going to Disneyland. You should tell your sister that she made you realize how overhyped Honolulu is, with its over development and crowds of tourists. Honolulu or Oahu are places to go if you want to have the true "tourist experience". Maui is recognized as being the most romantic island. If you changed your destination to Maui, and told your sisteryou've "rejected" Honolulu as being too pedestrian, you'll have a couple of positive outcomes. Your sister will most likely pop her cork realizing that you are going somewhere even more special. She will feel like she chose second best, but she had such a fit about claiming Honolulu as her personal property, she won't be able to say a thing without looking like what she really is. Your parents can't fault you for doing exactly what they requested. This would definitely mute her pleasure over getting her way. The only thing better would be if you could go the same week she goes.
Or, if she doesn't want to make a big stink during this "joyous" time and still attend her sister's wedding - just tell the sister she changed the location, still go to Honolulu and keep lip zipped afterwards. It's not like she (the sister) is going to show up and see OP there. I only say this because I also have an entitled, spoiled sister who thinks the world revolves around her, so I know some tricks.
"She asked me to dye my hair so we don't match"... WHAT? Stop. You weren't the AH to begin with, but now I think you earned the right to be.
What irritates me along with AH bridezilla is the SPINELESS coward parents. Like, tell little Bride Demon that everybody's been to Hawaii. Do not got to psycho sisters wedding she's the A.H. and so are your parents
Yea.. to ask you to cancel your surprise anniversary trip is childish. She should've been happy for you. If I had a sister I'd be stoked. I'd also not care if I wasn't invited to the wedding. The explanation of why you weren't there will show her true colors to everyone. A selfish brat.
If the boyfriend wants to change location I'd do it. I'd choose an even better one for her to envy but she won't be able to say anything because she demanded to change a location and so they did
Lol. Honolulu? Is Sis going to ask all the other honeymooners/vacationers to not go? Insane.
I now really, really, want OP and BF to get married while they're in Hawaii (or at least tell sister they did) then they can watch her have a total meltdown about not being the first to get married too. She hasn't even booked her honeymoon, why doesn't she just pick somewhere else?
NTA but this seems like a really easy fix. Just tell your sister you've changed the destination.
Go to Hawaii and take your sister up on being uninvited to the wedding. Get to go to a tropical island and skip a s****y wedding. Win Win.
Sometimes I think people just make these situations up to get posted.
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