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Based on my life experience, I’ve developed a rule for myself: if I’m planning to organize or host any family or friendly gathering and there are any crucial rules or requirements, I’d better remind everyone of them several times. Yes, there’s a risk of being called “petty,” but it’s better to do so than face problems later.
Well, the user u/throwaway-cupcakelad, the narrator of our story today, is just 17 years old and clearly hasn’t had time to gain much life experience, good or bad. So, when planning her birthday party, she only warned all guests once about not bringing any food containing nuts. As it turned out later, one warning was too little…
So the host ended up disinviting this friend, and her boyfriend as well, getting dubbed “entitled and unreasonable” by them
So, the Original Poster (OP) says she’s 17 years old now and planning her 18th birthday party. Nothing fancy, just a friendly gathering at home, BBQ and pizza, with guests also bringing their own food. Among the invited guests was “Emily,” the author’s close male friend’s girlfriend, and she volunteered to bake a cake.
However, our heroine had one important food-related restriction. One of the guests is allergic to nuts, so the birthday girl warned all guests in advance that nuts in any form were not allowed in the food they brought. The author added Emily to a general friends chat, and she, too, added a thumbs-up emoji to the message about the no-nuts rule.
And so, literally the day before the birthday, Emily sent the original poster a photo of the cake she baked – and it obviously contained nuts. The author clarified, and yes, Emily admitted that the cake had nuts. When our heroine said once more that nuts were not allowed, the guest assumed that the allergic person could simply not eat this cake at all.
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The author declared that impossible, and Emily replied that then she wouldn’t show up. Well, the OP agreed that in that case, she was disinviting her. Some time later, Emily’s boyfriend called and bashed her for “being entitled and unreasonable.” And now our hero faces the prospect of losing two guests at once, and her friends and acquaintances are also very divided over this. So, the author took it online, seeking support.
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Two women sitting on a couch having a serious conversation about food allergy restrictions at a party setting.
If you look at the experts’ opinions, there can be no dispute – the original poster did the right thing, as nut allergies can have very rapid consequences. In fact, nut allergies are considered one of the ten most widespread allergies in the United States, affecting roughly 0.5% to 1% of the country’s population, as this dedicated article states. So, risking a guest’s health is definitely not worth it.
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Furthermore, studies show that the number of children and adults allergic to various nuts has been steadily increasing over the past decades. For example, this study by scientists at the University of Manchester shows an increase in the incidence of allergies from 5% to 7% among infants and 1% to 2% among adults. So, the problem of allergies will only become more pressing over time.
Furthermore, the possible consequences of contact with an allergen can include fairly rapid (sometimes within 5 minutes of exposure) anaphylactic shock. Thus, the original poster’s decision to prioritize the health of a guest over the potential loss of friendships seems difficult, but entirely justified.
In fact, people in the comments unanimously sided with the original poster, also recalling sad stories of losing their own friends and close ones over food allergies. So, according to the responders, this is absolutely not a case where one should give in to friends’ childish whims. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Most commenters sided with the author, claiming that food allergy is actually a thing one shouldn’t mess with, so the host made the right choice here
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Commenter shares losing a friend due to peanut allergy after ignoring host’s food allergy restrictions at party.
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Conversation about guest ignoring food allergy rules at a party, causing conflict and disinvitation by host.
Text conversation showing guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by host, leading to disinvitation from party event.
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Alt text: Social media comment explaining a guest ignored food allergy restrictions, leading to being disinvited from a party.
Reddit comment explaining how a guest ignored food allergy restrictions set by party host causing safety concerns.
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Guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions at party causes cross contamination and gets disinvited by host.
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Comment explaining the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions set by party hosts to ensure guest safety.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing ignoring food allergy restrictions at a party and potential medical risks.
Comment from user appreciating allergy advocacy, mentioning child with tree nut allergies and dedication to food allergy restrictions.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment emphasizing the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions set by a party host.
Comment on a group chat discussing a guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host and getting disinvited.
Screenshot of a social media comment discussing ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host causing conflict.
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Screenshot of a detailed online comment discussing food allergy restrictions and safety concerns at a party.
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Comment explaining a guest ignored host’s food allergy restrictions at a party and was disinvited for not respecting nut allergy rules.
Comment discussing respect for food allergy restrictions and the consequences of ignoring party host's allergy rules.
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Comment from greentreemoss supporting host avoiding a health emergency due to guest ignoring food allergy restrictions.
Screenshot of a forum comment explaining the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions at parties.
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Screenshot of an online comment explaining a guest ignoring party host’s food allergy restrictions and being disinvited.
After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"
After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"
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