People Are Sharing The Things Those “Without Siblings Will Never Understand” And Here’re 30 Of The Most Accurate Ones
There’s an abundance of scientific research made on how having siblings affects our lives. Sometimes best friends, sometimes rivals, they are a quintessential part of our lives and there’s not much we can do about them.
No wonder, after many years without contact, people feel an urge to reconnect with their brothers and sisters as no matter what, they’re still the closest people they have.
So when someone posed a question “What’s something that people without siblings will never understand?” it surely hit a soft spot for many. Thousands of people started sharing their experiences and it clearly seems like life with siblings is full of weirdly particular quirks that they feel like only they can get.
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You don't apologize after a fight, you just start talking to them again
To find out more about the complex workings of sibling relationships and in what ways they influence our lives, Bored Panda reached out to Helen Marlo, a licensed clinical psychologist and Jungian Psychoanalyst, certified through the C.G. Jung Institute of San Francisco. Helen is also a tenured Professor of Clinical Psychology at Notre Dame de Namur University where she is the Department Chair.
“Research, as well as my professional and personal experience, confirms that sibling relationships exert a powerful influence on one’s life and development,” Helen told us. “So, the presence or absence of siblings is significant in shaping one’s experience although one is not necessarily better or worse. They are different.”
Helen explained that while we know siblings are influential, the effect of growing up with a sibling is not linear because the sibling relationship is complex. “Some siblings become best friends while others are arch enemies. Some people are fulfilled by having siblings while others find fulfillment as only children. Their life experiences, however, are different,” the clinical psychologist explained.
Why it's a bad idea to put a light switch OUTSIDE the bathroom door
They'll add the "OoooOoooooooOoo" sounds and you have trauma for lifetime
"Please don't tell mum! Look, you can hit me back!"
And the amount of fear, anxiety, dread, waiting for them to accept the offer before mom hears the cries 😭
The fact that as the oldest sibling you may give the younger siblings s**t. But nobody else is allowed to give them s**t.
You also love them more than they could ever know.
Moreover, Helen argues that findings that generalize about siblings can be misleading. “For example, findings on the influence of birth order or recent research asserting that sibling relationships are more important than parent relationships. Often, these findings do not also acknowledge the influence of other important variables, including psychological, family, systemic, developmental, environmental, and cultural factors that mediate the influence of the sibling relationship,” she said.
Helen continued by saying that this explains why such findings do not fit for many people. “Take sibling conflict. It is not necessarily negative. Parental warmth during sibling conflict, for example, influences if the sibling conflict leads to healthy rather than divisive sibling relationships. It can help prepare one to develop problem solving and negotiation skills.”
“Dude come here”
“Why?”
“I wanna show you something”
“No, you’re gonna hit me”
B- "QUICK! QUICK! COME HERE YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!! YOU'RE GOING TO MISS IT!! QUIIICK, YOU PIG" Me (running at a speed I've never known myself to achieve): WHAT!? WHERE!!? B- (holding a mirror infront of my face) "Oh lookie, a real life DUMBASS"
Hating someone who is literally just sitting in the same room as you and isn't doing anything, just their presence is annoying
It's funny when you're in third person, watching two siblings fight. I've seen my cousins throw slippers, and utensils at each other for a KitKat piece. That was the highlight of my day!
The clinical psychologist also noted that “while generalizations do not fit for many sibling relationships, growing up with siblings generally is accompanied by having a stronger sense of being part of a family and with feeling less alienated and alone.”
Helen argues that siblings have a daily influence in our lives. “Therefore, [siblings] can be associated with many strong emotional memories including sharing together in the traditions, joys, secrets, and challenges in family life,” she explained. What’s interesting is that although siblings encounter the same experiences, they experience them in their own unique way and these can be sources of challenge and connection.
The soul crushing grief when one passes away.
Also the connection to another human being that can validate your experiences. Having someone who can say, "yes, that really happened.".
My younger sister passes suddenly about three years ago. I have a younger brother as well and we were all able to call each other when we had nightmares to figure out if it was a memory or a dream. We were each other's PTSD support group.
My brother is currently living with and caring for our elderly father who was our tormentor for decades. I could not love or appreciate him more. I tried. I couldn't do it. He is still abusive and aggressive. When my brother gets overwhelmed, I am only a phone call away, to listen, validate and support him. We are all each other has and I know that I will always have his back and vice versa. Siblings are as big a blessing later in life as they are imagined a curse when growing up.
My eldest sister died suddenly, alone, in her apartment. Fortunately, a friend called in a "welfare check" and she was discovered not long after she died. I have other sisters still living, but she was the best of us. I never realized how much I'd miss her.
I jumped ship when I was 12 to get away from my mother. Over the next few years, each of my 7 siblings jumped ship to get away from her. It's been nearly 40 years of no contact with her. I recently received a letter from an attorney trying to force me to take care of her. Apparently her health is not good. All of my siblings received the same letter. Apparently there are laws that parents can utilize to force their children to provide care in their old age.
Which is a bad idea on so many levels. Speaking with a friend just this morning, who worked in social care for older people, and she said that the majority of elder abuse is actually by their own children (and NOT in care homes like some believe). Even children who had loved them. Sadly, due to things like dementia people can end up dangerously frustrated and at their wits end.
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Fortunately, my only older brother is 21, so no real danger just yet.
same with my sister but life is dangerous in itself...
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My eldest brother went missing in 2012. He was never found, but we've heard stories about his murder. His body was never found either. It's not something you get over.
When a sibling passes. It’s like history is gone. They knew you and all the things your parents never knew - your experiences, your inner hopes dreams , feelings. What trouble you got into and out of. It’s all gone. No one left to share good and bad history with. My sister gone 25years now and I have moved on but My heart still aches and eyes still well up with tears
Braver than me, and more forgiving. I couldn't forgive my father for what he did to me, I was glad to hear he had died, many years later.
God I can't even imagine my little sister dying. She's so annoying sometimes but life without her would be so hard to live. It would be so quiet. I'm literally almost crying just imagining her being gone.
I actually worry about me being the one to die (I'm the one whose been in the hospital more) and how my sister will feel.
You may give your kidney but you will never give that tv remote
well the tv remote is a matter of life or death, but kidney not so much
According to Helen, another way having siblings may influence you is that starting one’s own family and having a child can feel more familiar, known and natural when one has siblings.
The clinical psychologist who grew up in a large family herself also said that there are a lot of things her fellow siblings fostered in her. “Personally, having siblings has fostered in me a sense of connection and security; empathy; acceptance; compromise; tolerance; an appreciation of diversity; and having a greater focus on and understanding of others,” she explained.
Making your sibling laugh so their cries are not credible
Having to hide your snacks because they'll be gone in seconds
The amount of blackmail you have on each other that creates a Cold War scenario
When asked what’s unique about sibling relationships, Helen said that they’re unique because “they share together, with one another, in one of life’s most important relationships, the parent relationship, for better and for worse.” It turns out that “sharing in this relationship can readily elicit complex, myriad feelings such as competition, jealousy, intimacy, inferiority, superiority, and resentment. Siblings face issues related to the sharing and division of parental resources both material and psychological.”
There are many more ways in which sibling relationships are unique, Helen argues. “Sibling relationships are unique because they occupy a distinct and different role relative to parents and other family members, even in cases when the sibling serves as a parent figure. Sibling relationships are unique because sibling roles are more fluid than the parental role and can include elements of being both family and friend.”
When your younger sibling is allowed to do things at his young age that you were not allowed to do.
For example :
He could go to bed whenever he wanted at the age of 12 when I was forbidden to go to bed past 10 PM at his age.
He got in trouble for worse s**t than me, but got punished less. (Wayyy less)
He got his phone earlier than me.
When he got bad grades at school, my parents scolded him for a few minutes then forgot about it. When I had bad grades, I would be punished (no computer/video games for a week, grounded for a week, etc..)
That was pretty infuriating.
(For instance, I'm 23 and he's 15)
Yesssss. I'm the oldest of 3 sisters and i'm still pissed and will never let it go. -.-
Specifically for older siblings:
The wave of fear that shudders through you at the moment that your younger sibling breaks into tears within earshot of your parents because of something you did.
Getting offered something by your parents, saying no, and then when you see them ask your sibling, you're like, 'Wait a minute, I want that.'
There's a part missing from this, it is only when the sibling says y- that you scream and say BUT I WANTED THAT! Then proceed to throw a big tantrum in public, then when you get the thing, not even use it because the satisfaction of stealing something is way better than the atual object you threw a tantrum for.
Ultimately, siblings have a different function in the family than the parents. “For example, siblings support separation and independence from the parents and family; they share in a lived, joint history and experience of their family life, even if their experiences differ; they directly shape the experience of daily family life; they are uniquely able to help their siblings understand dimensions of their family life; and siblings help socialize their siblings in ways that parents cannot,” Helen concluded.
Having someone to complain about your parents to. I love my parents very much, but they are crazy sometimes
This hits home, now that our parents are mid 80s. It doesn't feel disloyal to rant with someone who you know cares and loves them as much as you do
Having a completely different perspective on your childhood is interesting. I have a brother and a sister and their memory of the household when we were kids is completely different than mine.
Hand-me-down clothes:
Knowing that I would "inherit" my older brother's clothes, he'd take me shopping with him so we could together choose things he'd like and that I'd eventually enjoy wearing once they became mine.
Idk if its just my siblings but they would come up to my door and just stand there. "What do you want", nothing just dead silence. And then they walk away with your door wide open
Literally dehydrating yourself so you don't lose the prime seat that if you get up from, will be stolen within seconds
or risking a UTI because you didn't dehydrate yourself and you really need to pee but can't give up the spot
That’s it’s possible to love someone who you usually hate
Siblings are the only people (mostly) around the same age you spent your entire childhood with, if you complain about the annoying habits of your parents, they will understand. And I can still call my brother "little brother" even though we're both in our late thirties and he's taller than I am
Haha yes! My brother is 28 and so much bigger than I am but he will always be my little brother.
How to love someone who's a total pain in the arse
Love? What love? I will tear him limb to limb next time he tries to touch my hair
It's so satisfying finally being player one when you were player 2 for years
my brother banned me from being player one on the WiiU after i accidentally deleted everything we had done on Rayman
Oldest gets the front seat. I am the eldest of 4 and had a monopoly on that front seat until we were all old enough to have our own cars
we also did this in my family, and the youngest had to sit in the middle of the three seats in the backseat
"Mom said it's my turn to play the Xbox"
Note: this post originally had 78 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
When I was little, the door on my room locked from the OUTSIDE. My little brother would lock me in always and it was the worst feeling ever. I got my revenge on him though eventually.
I am an older sibling of 2 people and this is the most relatable most ever.
I love my brother. Yes we had a lot of these posts growing up, but we also had each other's backs. Mother clearly favored him. We both knew it too. He did what he could to help. I knew then, and I still know now, that it wasn't his fault or doing. Our mother wanted boys only. I was treated like a leper. My brother took care of me, took me under his wing. I learned all kinds of cool stuff with him. To anyone out there who has a sibling like mine, Thank You, for being there.
My mother does tend to listen more to my brother, but we get our heads together and decide what needs to be said, and he does the saying. Here's to good brothers!
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What about that thing where you're dividing a drink between each other and you spend too long staring at the water level to make sure your siblings never got a single millimetre more than you?
The other day I taped a knife to my Kirby plush and left it on my brother's computer before he came home from school. The scream followed by hysterical laugher could be heard from the other side of the house.
When I was little my brother looked up to me always. But because of my anger issues he was always scared. We could never mess around or have the kind of relationship that other kids do because my parents were scared that I would hurt him. I love him so much and I just wish we were closer.
I am the eldest and i hate the way my brother breathes and how he exists but once every few somethings we have so much fun together that we forget we are sworn enemies
Me and my Twin will always help the other out, but you want the last pudding, yogurt or the TV remote, things won't be pretty.
My brother had a little cubby under his bed and he used to stick he in there and stuff pillows in after me until I cried that I couldn't breathe, also used to tie me to a chair and leave me there until I could wiggle myself out when he didn't want to play...I must have been a really annoying little sister
As an only child currently raising 3 children of my own, I've got to say sometimes sibling relationships are just baffling. They do seem to like each other far more often than they seem to hate each other so hopefully we are doing something right.
fck, i didn't have any of these. ,y brother was part of the satanist plan with the family, they kept talking together about me but never told me why, maybe the securitate knows, where they passed it, and all relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues etc.
Mum only had me as a carer for her pfb male, spoilt handicapped brat with learning difficulties and he he bullied me right from birth. I hated my family which was a good Christian family. My schoolwork suffered badly because of and no one noticed or cared about my welfare
As the second oldest of 11, I am once more left to wonder about how weird other people are XD.
This is super relatable as being 2nd oldest of 5 kids. Like since I'm not the oldest I'm not always that "free babysitter" or the one to take all the responsibility. But that's a double edge sword as you're not always looked up too. Also I'm surprised they didn't mention about theft of clothes in this thread. Seriously that's a common crime among sibs.
They did. They mentioned trying to put together the perfect outfit, giving up, and coming home from school to find your sibling wearing the item you were looking for.
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I don't have any siblings so I really appreciate these posts that give me an insight into what it's like and I must say, while I absolutely love my alone time I do sometimes wish I had a sibling. It might have helped with my social anxiety or you know, having someone to relate too.
When I went to the arcade when I was little with my grandma, she always made us split the tickets. It really pissed me off becuase I usually won more than my brother. I love my grandma but yea, she was a ticket communist.
As a parent, can I just say - treating younger ones favourably only happens in the older ones' heads. My eldest complains that he got a phone before she did, he was allowed out longer, etc. Nope. Didn't happen. She just has a skewed memory and wants to think that she is being treated unfairly, so she 'remembers' not having a phone until she was 15. She was actually 13 and in her first year of secondary school (high school in the US) - same as her brother. So all you who complain that they got bigger, better things earlier than you did - re-examine that memory. You WANT that to be the case, but 9 times out of 10, it isn't.
That's a strong claim you make there. I believe it's pretty normal for parents to not want to admit to favoring the youngest. At least in my experience. Strange of you to make it out to be something that really doesn't happen. Yes we misremember but saying that parents basically are always right is just wrong. I have seen the youngest be treated very mildly very often.
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When I was little, the door on my room locked from the OUTSIDE. My little brother would lock me in always and it was the worst feeling ever. I got my revenge on him though eventually.
I am an older sibling of 2 people and this is the most relatable most ever.
I love my brother. Yes we had a lot of these posts growing up, but we also had each other's backs. Mother clearly favored him. We both knew it too. He did what he could to help. I knew then, and I still know now, that it wasn't his fault or doing. Our mother wanted boys only. I was treated like a leper. My brother took care of me, took me under his wing. I learned all kinds of cool stuff with him. To anyone out there who has a sibling like mine, Thank You, for being there.
My mother does tend to listen more to my brother, but we get our heads together and decide what needs to be said, and he does the saying. Here's to good brothers!
Load More Replies... What about that thing where you're dividing a drink between each other and you spend too long staring at the water level to make sure your siblings never got a single millimetre more than you?
The other day I taped a knife to my Kirby plush and left it on my brother's computer before he came home from school. The scream followed by hysterical laugher could be heard from the other side of the house.
When I was little my brother looked up to me always. But because of my anger issues he was always scared. We could never mess around or have the kind of relationship that other kids do because my parents were scared that I would hurt him. I love him so much and I just wish we were closer.
I am the eldest and i hate the way my brother breathes and how he exists but once every few somethings we have so much fun together that we forget we are sworn enemies
Me and my Twin will always help the other out, but you want the last pudding, yogurt or the TV remote, things won't be pretty.
My brother had a little cubby under his bed and he used to stick he in there and stuff pillows in after me until I cried that I couldn't breathe, also used to tie me to a chair and leave me there until I could wiggle myself out when he didn't want to play...I must have been a really annoying little sister
As an only child currently raising 3 children of my own, I've got to say sometimes sibling relationships are just baffling. They do seem to like each other far more often than they seem to hate each other so hopefully we are doing something right.
fck, i didn't have any of these. ,y brother was part of the satanist plan with the family, they kept talking together about me but never told me why, maybe the securitate knows, where they passed it, and all relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues etc.
Mum only had me as a carer for her pfb male, spoilt handicapped brat with learning difficulties and he he bullied me right from birth. I hated my family which was a good Christian family. My schoolwork suffered badly because of and no one noticed or cared about my welfare
As the second oldest of 11, I am once more left to wonder about how weird other people are XD.
This is super relatable as being 2nd oldest of 5 kids. Like since I'm not the oldest I'm not always that "free babysitter" or the one to take all the responsibility. But that's a double edge sword as you're not always looked up too. Also I'm surprised they didn't mention about theft of clothes in this thread. Seriously that's a common crime among sibs.
They did. They mentioned trying to put together the perfect outfit, giving up, and coming home from school to find your sibling wearing the item you were looking for.
Load More Replies... I don't have any siblings so I really appreciate these posts that give me an insight into what it's like and I must say, while I absolutely love my alone time I do sometimes wish I had a sibling. It might have helped with my social anxiety or you know, having someone to relate too.
When I went to the arcade when I was little with my grandma, she always made us split the tickets. It really pissed me off becuase I usually won more than my brother. I love my grandma but yea, she was a ticket communist.
As a parent, can I just say - treating younger ones favourably only happens in the older ones' heads. My eldest complains that he got a phone before she did, he was allowed out longer, etc. Nope. Didn't happen. She just has a skewed memory and wants to think that she is being treated unfairly, so she 'remembers' not having a phone until she was 15. She was actually 13 and in her first year of secondary school (high school in the US) - same as her brother. So all you who complain that they got bigger, better things earlier than you did - re-examine that memory. You WANT that to be the case, but 9 times out of 10, it isn't.
That's a strong claim you make there. I believe it's pretty normal for parents to not want to admit to favoring the youngest. At least in my experience. Strange of you to make it out to be something that really doesn't happen. Yes we misremember but saying that parents basically are always right is just wrong. I have seen the youngest be treated very mildly very often.
Load More Replies...