Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
49submissions
1week left
49 People Anonymously Reveal The Secrets They Never Dared To Tell Their Ex
Relationships are all about communication, but let’s face it, that’s often easier said than done. The result is that in many, failed relationships, there are a decent amount of things that ended up left unsaid.
Someone asked people to share “the one thing you never told your ex?” and netizens spilled their guts. From heartbreaking revelations to funny [private part]-bits, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
That sometimes, while I was asleep, I'd wake to her petting my hair and telling me that she loved me. She said it in such a loving, quiet voice, it felt almost secret. In those moments, I had never felt so loved. I'd pretend to still be asleep while fading back into it so she wouldn't get embarrassed. We broke up later but I still cherish those moments.
RELATED:
#2
The day I left was the best day of my life. Not the wedding, not when the kiddo finished kindergarten or high school. When I finally had enough and realized what was happening was abuse and it happens to men, too.
#3
That he's gay. I remember the party in college where I walked in on him kissing our friend Daniel. We just never talked about it again. And once I announced the divorce, everyone mentioned that he was gay. They thought it was some big secret we were all agreeing not to discuss. I just wish he'd get on with it and live his life openly now. But I realize there must be tremendous pain keeping him from that. So I'll keep loving him as a friend and family member, raising our daughter as coparents. I'm happy and remarried. I hope he finds what he needs someday. He's an amazing dad.
It can be very hard to tell a person a hard truth, even, in fact particulate, if you love them. The truth hurts is an old adage for a reason and most of us don’t actually want to hurt the people who are important to us. It’s even worse when one is dealing with something that happened between them and an ex or really any important figure from the past.
While, in the moment, it might be easier to stay silent, psychologists believe that it still helps with closure. After all, the folks in this article still felt the need to share the words left unsaid with someone, even if it was random people on the internet.
#4
I know she faked an "emergency" phone call and left my apartment in a hurry one night because she had sh*rted herself. Unbeknownst to her there was some trace evidence left where she was sitting on the couch. I cleaned the spot, flipped the cushion, and I never let on that I knew what had really happened.
#5
The heartfelt letter she wrote to her dying bff was returned bc she put the wrong address. He passed away while the letter was en-route back to her. I threw it in the trash.
#6
The real reason I broke up with her was because I caught myself going through her phone on a regular basis. The last time I did it, it hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew it was me and not her. I developed trust issues from past relationships. I was so in love with her, I didn't feel she deserved to be with someone not in a healthy place. I tried my hardest to trust her but couldn't. I still haven't gotten past her and it's been 6 years. That behavior scared me so much, I haven't been in a relationship since and have focused on me. I think I scared myself so badly, I am avoiding relationships out of the fear I'll have the desire to do that again. Now she's engaged and here I am... On Reddit. Confessing my crazy behavior.
Let’s face it, in many cases, it is best to discuss and divulge things early to not let them build up for later. Fortunately, many of the examples are a tad more lighthearted. It seems unlikely that someone is truly dying to tell their ex that, actually, they simply let them win at every board game.
#7
That his dog was seeking him out in her dying moments. He had rescued a little girl from a dog fighting puppy mill, and raised her by himself until we met. I instantly loved her and for a year into our relationship I got to watch the two of them build trust and train and play everyday. She was his whole life as when he saved her, he had no one else regarding family or friends, in a very depressed state. Around our 1 year anniversary she got sick. I woke up one day with a very bad feeling, only to look around and find her sitting in a pool of blood and p**s. Without hesitation we took her to the vet non stop and payed for any and every test we could. She was young still, 2 and a half. They all came back negative, and she was a fully vaccinated dog. One Sunday, after 5 days of fighting with antibiotics and getting her to eat, cleaning up blood and p**s and taking out any savings we both had to pay off doctors, she passed. They were both a sleep on the couch (we took turns sleeping) and I was dozing off from the exhaustion. I saw her around 5am wake up, she tried moving around trying to get to her dad but she was too weak and he was too tired. I didn't realize what was happening, why she suddenly wanted to be with him so much. I sat with her, telling her that it would be okay and the minute the vet was available we would head over for painkillers. We would find what was hurting her and that she wasn't alone. I covered her with a blanket and fell asleep on the floor before I realized it. 9 am same day she had joined the other angels. To this day, I have some of her ashes and I just keep thinking I should of woken him up, or helped her. For the longest time he blamed himself for not being with her in her final moments. We never found what killed her, autopsy wasn't an option.
#9
My ex's parents were separated, so we often found ourselves at her mom's place. Her mom, a high-powered CEO in New York, rarely engaged in casual conversation. However, one night, amidst her job stress, she surprised us by joining in for a laid-back evening. Nestled in her fantastic Manhattan loft, we relished the opportunity to escape our sweltering college dorms during the summer. On this particular night, as my ex and I stayed over, her mom seemed a touch envious of our city escapade and decided to join us for a nostalgic early 2000s movie and a nightcap. As the evening unfolded, my ex dozed off, and I couldn't help but notice her mom consuming the lion's share of the wine. She became unusually chatty, delving into personal questions and fixing me with a lingering gaze. When the movie ended, I suggested that i’d probably leave my ex on the couch and that i would probably just take the floor. However, her mom unexpectedly proposed sharing her bedroom. Politely, I declined, and it's a secret I've kept from my ex ever since.
After all, it’s no surprise that most gags in your average sitcom, inevitably, come from some characters miscommunicating or leaving something out. It’s a pretty common human experience at this point. So like with many things in life, it’s important to not beat yourself up too much and just use your best judgment.
#10
We should’ve broken up after that first fight 6 weeks in instead of 3 and a half years later. You’re my biggest regret.
#11
I exposed her for stealing at work. Yahtzeeee.
Was stealing tips from a tip pool. So from all her coworkers.
#12
That I knew the last time she tried to talk me into having [intimacy], she was trying to pin her pregnancy from her trip to Florida on me.
#13
That it isn’t normal for him (18) and his sister (23) to shower together on a regular basis…. And no it was not to preserve water because they were loaded [very].
#14
Oooooh had to hop on the alt account for this one! When I was 22, I had a baby with my ex and we gave them up for adoption. I should have gotten an abortion, but I got scared so I ended up carrying to full term and letting a great family adopt them. Less than 5 people know about this. It's my biggest skeleton in my closet.
#15
She had a lovebird. it managed to get out the door, we spent weeks walking the neighbour's hood, putting up posters and scouring lost and found ads. unfortunately, within an a few hours of the first round of lost posters being distributed, I got a call (on her phone, she was in shower) from a woman who witnessed poor Lovebird being predated by crows. I went out to 'buy cigarettes', but actually went to the area where this was observed. I found a lot of little blue feathers. she was already heartbroken at the loss. I felt this news, this soon into the search would have crushed her.
#16
It sounds harsh, but I would have loved to have talked with my ex about how neither of us really loved the other, but were both in love with the idea of each other, and that really f****d our relationship up, from day 1, and honestly I should have never tried to rely on her to fix my own pre-existing issues. I'm genuinely sorry I put her through that.
#17
We broke it off on good terms, but I wish I could’ve told him how much of a narcissist and an a*****e he was to me. He drunkenly asked me when I stopped loving him one night after we broke up… I stopped loving you 6 months into our relationship and stayed for 3 years bc I couldn’t afford to leave and be on my own and I became so used to the abuse that it was just normal at that point. I stopped loving you the first time you screamed “f*** you” into my face. You made so many excuses for your behavior and half of those were just blaming me when I did nothing wrong. You were explosive and short-tempered but everything was still my fault. You couldn’t care less about the things I wanted to do or the interests that I had, just you you you you you. He even left me with the dog I got him (whom I love very much and he is spoiled). Every weekend he’d be gone doing the things that I wish I could be doing with him, but I wasn’t invited or couldn’t afford it. AND THE LIES. I’d be surprised if he was ever telling me the truth. Deceit was the boys middle name, but I saw through it. Even when you didn’t think I did. I did. I wish I could’ve said all of that but I left off on good terms because i’m wayyyyy too nice of a person. You live and you learn I guess. What a joke. Thanks for the vent haha.
#18
Several things to each one of them 1- Im sorry that I fumbled breaking up with you but I needed a more active gf than just watching movies endlessly 2- i really wanted to spend my life with you but your decision that “you wanted to open our relationship” ended all attraction to you at that exact moment. I should have just walked away right there than demand it ‘stay closed’ and drag out the inevitable a few more months. You ended up leaving me anyways so w/e 3- your anger is why everyone youve dated dumped you, and why im dumping you too. Its not that we “are afraid of a smart woman” its you become petty and mean when you dont get your way. (Shes still single to this day) 4- i knew you cheated but you thought you were too slick.
#19
He made me reallyyyy uncomfortable with how often he "accidentally" s**t himself. Accidents are accidents but there's a point where it's no longer an accident.
#20
That her passion and goals for her writing career did not match her talent and dedication in actually trying to achieve them.
#23
That I know [darn] well she cheated on me. Edit to add: I never told her because it would have benefited no one. As a result, we had an amicable divorce.
#24
That she was a major catalyst in me making my life better. You we were my rock bottom. You made my life h**l trying to help you and “fix” you. It’s wild I spent the whole relationship terrified you’d out grow me, turns out I outgrew you and I am so happy. Happiest I’ve ever been. Go f*** yourslef.
#25
I knew he cheated for about 2 wks prior to the break up. I kept trying to give him chances to come clean on his own. He never did.
#27
Her parents [angry] me the f*** off. Her mom was always complaining about everything, and her dad was a covid conspiracy theory nut case.
#28
That I accidentally dropped his Ducati on its side. Obviously I couldn’t pick it up, I was panicking and called a neighbor for help and both of us were able to pick it up. Thankfully nothing happened to the motorcycle. No scratches or anything.. but if my ex knew, he’d have a fit [laugh out loud].
#29
How bad his cooking really was. The best part about the very unpleasant break-up was that I no longer had to eat his food.
#30
The fourth time she stayed over at my house, she woke up crying in the middle of the night, talking like she was a kid, and saying how her family is at odds, and her dad hates her mom and thinks she’s ugly, but they can’t get a divorce because of Christian values. I just calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. She suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and stress-caused episodes, so I don’t think she remembers it happening. I didn’t bring it up the next morning or ever in the three years we were together; not even during our worst fights.
#32
He would make mashups/ DJ mixes and play his own music in the car. And they were f****n TRASH.
#34
I lost my virginity to her. Before we became a “thing” and she was just my friend I would lie to her about the women I slept with. This was in high school, man I still remember that night. [laugh out loud], we ended up getting really serious, that relationship lasted 12 years. She would bring up the girls that I “supposedly” slept with and once in a while she would say that she ended up falling in love with a man wh*re. [laugh out loud] I never told her.
#35
His apartment was an absolute horror show. Like I don’t know how he put up with how filthy, cluttered and depressing it was, and I honestly felt embarrassed for him.
#36
That her family is and will continue to ruin her life. I have never met more narcissistic and pretentious, self diagnosing and delusional people in my entire life. I hope she finds the exit somehow, even tho she already had one.
#37
That as much as I loved her, her lack of morals and social values meant we never had a future together. I could not imagine raising children with someone like her.
#38
I hired a divorce lawyer the day after she took the kids from daycare and ran off to her moms. I was so stressed that I lost 5 lbs in 2 days due to stress from this. I convinced her to come back and just ‘make it work’ for The kids sake. But I knew I could never trust her again. I stashed $, gift cards, kids clothes & supplies at work and my folks house in case I needed to get the kids and get out fast. That was 3 years before the actual divorce. I regret nothing but hanging on so long. Now happily remarried w full custody 8 years now. FU ex wife.
#39
I let her win at card games sometimes. Winner usually chose the movie but I didn’t want her to feel bad by beating her all the time and I wanted to keep playing. I played A LOT of cards in university and could probably beat her 90% of the time.
#42
I wish I had told her how messed up her family dynamic was, how oppressed she was from that. I wish I had told her that life was more than academia and titles. And that I could’ve been more, but I was always going to be an outlier in her families eyes.
#45
That his dad revenge cheated on his mom after she had a relationship with another man while they were separated. She swore me to silence after telling me once night but had to tell someone because her husband wouldn’t stop holding the fact that “she cheated on him” over her head for every argument.
#49
That I have never let anyone get that close emotionally, before or since. We stayed friends afterwards, and I wouldn't have gotten back together if she wanted to, but to me we had something special for a while.
You Might Also Like: 51 toxic phrases employees have actually heard from their bosses
Add Your Answer! This post is a community curated
Add Your Answer!
Explore more of these tags
Related on Bored Panda
