19 Y.O. Discovers Parents Got Gifts For His Sibling Despite Agreeing Not To Get Gifts For Anyone, Says He Won’t Come Home For Christmas
Let’s face it, no other holiday has a cultural impact quite like Christmas. It’s truly the time of the year!
Gift-giving, spending time with immediate and distant family, watching Home Alone and the Elf, getting into the festive spirit with Michael Bublé, and decorating your whole house – is there anything better?
However, the celebration is also notorious for the amount of stress it loves to bring upon people. Just think about it – money worries, practical issues like finding the time to do everything and figuring out the traveling logistics, cooking, and the star of today’s article – family rifts.
More info: Reddit
You know what they say: “Your children need your presence more than your presents”
Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual photo)
“AITA for telling my parents I won’t go home for Christmas unless they get me a gift?” – this internet user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether he’s indeed wrong for refusing to go back home for the holidays unless his parents, who are known for showing favoritism towards their youngest, get him a gift. The post managed to garner 4.5K upvotes as well as 851 comments discussing the situation.
Parents bought lots of gifts for their youngest despite proposing to forgo gift-giving this year, 19 y.o. says he won’t return for Christmas until he receives one as well
Image credits: Apprehensive_Salt297
The guy began his post by revealing that his younger sister Bree is a total brat. He says that their parents spoil her rotten and if anything doesn’t go her way, she’ll be sure to cause a scene. It was then noted that although she isn’t getting in the way of others getting anything, it’s still really obvious that she gets way more.
The guy has a younger sister who always gets spoiled rotten by their parents
Image credits: Apprehensive_Salt297
Recently, the author’s parents emailed him and proposed a “low-stress” Christmas, which basically meant forgoing gift-giving this year. He was completely fine with it, since he didn’t want anything anyway and it would make things much more relaxed. So, he called his old folks to confirm – however, instead, was immediately told what to buy Bree.
Recently, they’ve proposed a “low-stress” Christmas, which basically meant skipping gift-giving this year
Image credits: Apprehensive_Salt297
The 19-year-old was confused. He questioned his mom and said that he thought that they weren’t doing gifts this year, but was quickly told that Bree is “different” (a brat) and that she’s still a baby. Needless to say, he was mad. But not because he also wanted a present, more because it felt like his sibling was getting to be the favorite again.
He hung up and decided to go on a little investigation quest. He logged into the family’s Amazon account and saw that they’d already got Bree a bunch of stuff, including a tablet, accessories for it, a name-brand makeup case and loads of smaller things.
He called his folks to confirm – however, instead, was immediately told what to buy Bree, his younger sibling
Image credits: Apprehensive_Salt297
The 19-year-old ended up calling his folks back and telling them that he won’t be coming home for Christmas unless he gets a gift too; he doesn’t want anything fancy, he just wants a small gift to balance out the blatant favoritism that’s been happening in their family. The parents, however, labelled him childish and even said that they thought they raised him better.
The guy hung up and informed his housemates that he could be staying over the break. When he explained his decision, they accused him of acting immaturely and told him that his parents owe him nothing because he is an adult now.
The 19 y.o. was perplexed, so he refused to come home for the holidays unless he gets a gift too
Image credits: Apprehensive_Salt297
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
He tried to elaborate and clarify that the gift isn’t the point, it’s that his sibling is obviously being treated differently – however, they argued that it’s because she still lives with them.
What do you think about this matter?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the story
Image credits: Barney Moss (not the actual photo)
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Honestly, I don't think OP is in the wrong one bit. I like the suggestion by one of the redditors saying OP and his brother should have their own Christmas together. And if the parents want to teach Bree any manners whatsoever, they would make her choose a thoughtful gift for each of her brothers, but I doubt that would happen. Bree is well on her way to being a gold digger.
TO Ben who commented saying "it's childish to extort your family in the name of fairness", he is absolutely not extorting anyone. Requiring something in return for doing what someone else wants; is not extorition, it's quid pro quo. That's like saying requiring a paycheck for you to do your job is extorting the company - no it's not. To be extortion there has to be a threat of a loss if they don't do what you want. Him not showing up is not a loss, its just not gaining anything since they never had it the first place. Now you could say that it is childish to charge family for your presence at Christmas. I dont think childish is the word I'd use for it, but it doesn't seem like the most holiday spirited thing. I've heard of. Neither is showering one person in gifts and everyone else gets nothing though.
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She is still a kid, a baby? She is is just two years younger than OP. Just wow...
Either that or she will have graduated to "Karen" by then.
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I was thinking 6 of one half a dozen of the other (ESH) ... Up until he says that the sister always got a present on the brothers birthdays so she wasn't left out ... That's weird, and very poor parenting imo. He should definitely just say to his parents its either presents or no presents this xmas, you can't favour one child.
Yeah that got me. They created a self entitled brat. She will always be difficult and parents dismiss the whole thing.
Load More Replies... This isn't just about getting a present and this kind of thing NEVER stops hurting. I'm almost 60 and my father still does little things that cut me to the core when it comes to me and my siblings. He's probably not even aware he's doing it and the individual things seem petty when you try to explain it but it's a lifetime of it happening and I'm pretty sure I'll go to my grave with that ball of hurt still inside.
Lash out now while you still can. He should be the one hurting, not you
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Wow, OP's sister is spoiled as can be. Not only is she constantly being given gifts at occasions where she shouldn't be (like at the birthday parties of others), she's not expected to give anyone else gifts, and she throws tantrums at 17? Yiiiiiiikes. Those parents aren't doing her any favours whatsoever. She's going to end up the type that everyone around her secretly (or not-so secretly) hates. The type who throws hissy fits in public when she doesn't get her way. Someone who thinks absolutely everything revolves around her. The type that everyone looks at and wonders just what goes on in their head, how they got to be so selfish. This is how.
My 19th birthday. My mother forgot(not unusual), I received no cards, no nothing. Later my big brother comes over and listens to me whine. After telling me I was an adult now, and blah blah blah, he gives me a Mickey Mouse watch
My parents stopped doing anything for my birthday as soon as I turned 18
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I'm 57. I haven't spent Christmas with my relatives in 14 years. I haven't seen them except for one time when I drove the 750 miles to Philly after my mother had a heart attack. I don't get along with my relatives. We're like gasoline and flame. I do, however, have a new family, one that I chose and who chose me, and I spend my holidays and time with them. DNA doesn't make a family. Love, respect and understanding makes a family. The OP needs to understand that, find a new family and ditch the relatives.
17 isn’t a child. She’s old enough to know better and they’re about to release her into adult world for the rest of us to deal with. Parents take notes. This is how future Karen’s are made.
Yeah, like the day she brings home a escaped convict home and can't understand why her parents don't like him!
Load More Replies... OK, honestly, I can't even handle this! I am youngest child in my family, but I am defiantly not the favorite and neither are my others sisters, although my oldest sis has a daughter and gets quite a few things from my parents, but no we have no golden child in our family. My opinion is that she is seventeen and the OP's parents should have been training her to be on her own and to not depend on them for the last two years from when she can get a job, and save the money for when she decides to leave or go to college to get an iPad or laptop. This was not an invalid thought and you should NOT feel obligated to get her a gift and your parents should understand that you are nineteen and need to start saving money for your own necessities and never should they have asked you that, which is also putting requirement and guilt on you. Have your own Christmas and facetime them, but explain that you are not in a good place to do gifts and just facetime or text on birthdays and Christmas!
Agreed. My 14 year old son is the youngest, but he already does things for neighbors to earn money for things he is trying to save up for. My two other adult children (19 & 21) work FT, but still live at home to save money to get their own place. They both pay for their phones, car insurance, and car repairs and pay a small rent… which goes into a savings account that they don’t know about. They’ll get it back when they move out. I’m quite proud of my kids.
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Easy enough stop buying your parents Christmas presents, if they say why just say you are adults stop being entitled. Also don't buy Bree anything if they say why just say because she has got enough of you.
Wtaf is wrong with people?! His parents know exactly what they are doing, unless they live under a rock and have no contact with the outside world and therefore no awareness of how to be and act. It is malicious. They got away with it when he was young and couldn’t do anything about it; no doubt if he complained they negated his feelings. His brother is like a kicked dog that doesn’t know any better.
The parents would rather insult and berate the son than give him a pair of socks. I would give up on the parents. It won’t hurt them and it’ll protect him from further emotional abuse
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"They thought they raised him better" lol maybe they should have raised the daughter better. I have a 6 year old daughter who can throw tantrums that can make a MAGA politician look reasonable, and a 19 year old guy who is chill. Both are getting the exact same amount of gift (at least in money's worth since his computer gadgets are more expensive and she still likes dolls and other less expensive stuff). They are both my kids and will be getting presents as long as I live.
See, he's handling this all wrong. I would talk to my bro and we would get each other presents. None for Bree. Even each get a present for Mom and Dad. None for Bree. With a family like that, he needs to learn the art of passive-aggressive real quick.
Except Bro is done, it is what it is, why argue. He's probably gotten her a gift
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Don’t worry, OP. When your sister has children, she’ll get a big ol’ dose of Karma, and you can laugh and laugh….
No, that's how you end up with narcissistic or codependent children who go on to live miserable lives. I hope she doesn't have kids. Though it's sad for her too because her life will be filled with unhappiness and frustration
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At first my opinion was ESH, but for me, the straw that broke this particular camel's back was not even the lying about no gifts and then buying gifts for the sister (awful, but ultimately forgiveable ), it was telling OP that he would not receive any gifts, but still expecting him to buy gifts for the sister. Continued behavior like this is almost a form of family annihilation--parents will drive away the two older sons, and daughter will only care about them until the first time they have to say "No". OP does not specify what level of support parents may still be providing (college, rent support?), but I agree that his best choice is to go low/no contact and seek his happiness and validation elsewhere.
Putting aside the "sister being the golden child" thing for a moment…why aren’t they getting the other 2 any gifts? It’s CHRISTMAS! I get that it’s not about the presents and stuff, and that some people enjoy being around their family members, but come on! They weren’t going to get each other anything?! Like, not even a piece of candy or a gift card, or literally anything at all? I wouldn’t have agreed to come on that basis alone. I can at least then spend a gift less Christmas alone doing something I actually want to. Then, adding back in the fact that the sister isn’t having a gift drought, it almost feels like the parents were giving off the vibe that they didn’t want OP or his brother to come.
Wait until this "Karen-in-the-making" is unleashed on the rest of the world. God help us all when she finds out the world does not in fact revolve around her
What if she gets hurt because of her "me, me, me" attitude? Will the parents just baby her or will they realize that they f****d up with her? Imagine if she has kids, if they get hurt and she has to take them to the hospital will she sit there and pout and throw a tantrum and BLAME A CHILD because SHE didn't get what SHE wanted? We can really only hope that OP's parents realize soon that they cant spoil her forever
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NTA! Why don't you, and your Brother, buy each other a couple of gifts, put up a little tree, make a Christmas dinner all to yourselves! Take pictures, and videos to send to your parents. If they want a low key Christmas, after spending all of the money on her, have a special Christmas with your Brother. You two, could even go out for dinner instead of cooking. If they want to baby, a near grown woman; let them! I'm a grandmother, I raised my two children alone, and I'm now raising my grandsons. I would NEVER, buy for only one child, no matter the age. Unless, I'm broke. Then, it would probably be, scrape a little together for my grandsons. When my kids where 17, and 18, there was never favoritism, and all things were bought equally! I'm sorry you had to go through this, I know it has to be painful to feel left out. Next year, you and your Brother, do it for The two of you only if it happens again. I hope you stood your ground, and stayed home. Sister, sound so entitled, she doesn't even have to buy gifts for anyone.
Lol do she got a present on everyone’s birthday? They took away that person’s special day. Op NTA. Parents ATA. Op needs to go no contact. Bree will always be difficult and they made her that way. So sad.
„She’s still a baby” what’s bothering the most, and it says everything. 17 year old….. seriouslyyy
Yeah. Definitely. At 17, I was working FT, paying rent, financially responsible for my car, my phone (that was when cellphones were pretty new to the average person and were charged for everything), and I bought everyone in my house something for Christmas… albeit not a lot, but something. My parents couldn’t afford to go all out on any of us. It was more about being together. Then again, I’m genX… we were taught to not depend on anyone but ourselves.
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I guess everyone in the family was supposed to watch Bree open her gifts on Christmas morning. The parents have lost the plot over their golden child.
It really depends on if Bree had a saying in the decision to abolish all the gifts. I was the youngest child with considerable older siblings and I sometimes was really sad when the older family members decided, "what they don't need anymore". They enjoyed the full programm with tree, gifts, cookies and a fancy meal till the age of 25 and then changed their minds? Well, that cut me out of 10 years of lavish Christmases they had. Probably they are fed up with some traditions, but that didn't mean that I was fed up with those!
I do think they’ve decided to change one year too early. They should do a normal gift giving Christmas this year and then when Bree, as the youngest sibling, turns 18 then they have an adults’ Christmas with no gifts or a secret Santa or something.
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If it was just about the OP not getting a gift, that would be one thing, but it isn't. It's about the parents saying 'no gifts' and then immediately saying 'except for your sister; she still gets gifts'. It's about the double standard. It's about the parents either showing favoritism or enabling entitled behavior (or both). So yeah, hard NTA for the OP.
What got me was you have a "family Amazon", so Bree knows what got. Also there's the what was brought outside Amazon. Just wait, she'll be the "black sheep" one day. Golden Child usually age & disappoint parents. DEFINITELY wouldn't be buying her anything, 17yr old GET A JOB
My husband and I discussed this because we have 4 sons. We have never favoured one over another. At Christmas, they all got the same amount of gifts from us. As they got older and more expensive, the most expensive gift was for birthdays. Each child had to make a gift for each of his brothers and when they got older and started getting and allowance or made their own money they would pick a name out of the Christmas stocking and that was who they bought a gift for. They still had to make a gift for everybody else. They even bought or made each other birthday presents. They are all grown now but they still follow this practice. They said they never felt favouritism from us. I did have one I babied a little more because we almost lost him at birth but the others understood that and it wasn't overly done. I think OP has the right idea or maybe he should go and just exchange a gift with his brother.
I'm 16 years old, and I can't even begin to comprehend what's going on in the mind of OP's sister. I couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to live with (or be) an entitled child. I was taught that life isn't fair, and that if you don't get what you want, then you work for it. The parents of OP clearly haven't placed any boundaries or rules with Bree. If they don't do anything about it anytime soon, then Bree is going to grow up continuing to be a spoiled adult-child, which is even worse than a regular spoiled child. Such a shame to see people older than me acting like they're younger than me.
Disgusting behavior from the parents. Don't worry they'll have to deal with that beast of burden for years to come.
My boys are both married and have young babies but I still buy them Christmas presents not much but like socks and pj bottoms and a gift card to some store for 50 bucks, and I get my daughter inlaws gifts too plus 3 grandchildren and I'm not rich I'm a pensioner, I can't believe how your parents are treating u like u don't count anymore I don't blame u for not going home for Christmas, sounds like a spoiled brat your sister
My youngest is 15. She wouldn't tell me what she wanted for Christmas for the longest time because she was afraid of the price tag. We used to be on welfare. We're not any more. We're not "rolling in it" but money isn't the stress it used to be, where treating her to MacDonald 's meant deciding is I was going to short-pay the phone bill or the hydro bill. So her father, her grandfather, and I chipped in to get her what she had her heart set on. Come Christmas Day, we pulled out a carry-on suitcase we made a point of telling her her dad won in a raffle. In it was some pjs, socks, & undies. She was clearly let down but still smile thank-you. I sd check the accessory case and make sure she wasn't allergic to any of it. When she opened the case and saw the Switch, she was over the moon! Point being: she didn't pitch a toddler tantrum when she thought she got socks and underwear (they were good brand and really cute) instead.
I should mention that my youngest really is the baby: her siblings are in their late twenties to thirties and she's only ten years older than her niece.
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Definitely NTA, how can they possibly say they thought they raised you better while demonstrating that being childish and petty like your sister gets you rewarded with gifts, and being an "adult" gets you nothing.
NTA....the OP needs to address this better. Instead of demanding a gift. He needs to do a print out of the gifts brought with the total amount for Bree.( if he can any past gifts too for him and his brother compare to her) sit his parents down when it is not then holidays and explain your point. Showing then the gifts the amounts and explain how wrong they were to say no one is to get gifts and assume that didn't include an 17yo who is about to be an adult. If they want a low stress Christmas but still expected gifts for the daughter then should have requested you and your siblings do 1gift don't worry about them.
NTA-BUT you definitely need to set boundaries and tell your parents how you feel and maybe even family therapy in the future. I suggest going to the Christmas and being low key and don't bring her a gift. Maybe bring a box a cookies or something and say it's a family gift and stand tall and let them know you don't appreciate how you're treated when it comes to Bree. Yes she is the baby in your family, but when she goes off to college or gets a job she will face serious problems if they continue to coddle her and she will wind up not wanting to ever move out but living and leeching off of them rent -and bill-free well into her 40s and 50s if they keep babying her like this.
Initially I was flippy floppy on this but after reading other details from OP like ‘she got something on OUR birthday as well’ wtf?! Did ya bake her her own cake w candles too?! If the brothers didn’t get a gift on HER birthday OR EVER received ANY gift from her… yea, nta but the parents are sure raising one!!! What this world needs! More entitlement!
Bro my niece had her period in 5th grade. Your 17 year old sister is not a baby. Wait till they pay for all her college everything that goes with it.
I thinkmassholemove here really is whole parents saying how they want Christmas without presents and then denand exceltion and present for his sister from OP. Like whether they get her present or not is up to them, but demanding it from OP is bad move here. Though in OPs place, I would just insist on no gift, since that is the deal, or no deal. But wouldn't mention how they need to give me a gift. But maybe OP will be better off not going, considering you can feel like there is a lot of history behind everything.
I was a middle child also. Seems like middle child syndrome (just what I called it) Either my older brother (a Jr.) or my younger siblings were spoiled. I got the hand me downs or I worked hard for everything. Mowed lawns for money since I was 10. My two youngest siblings died from accidents 16yo brother and a 18 yo sister right out of high school. My oldest brother (Jr) died from Covid in 2020. Middle child syndrome just turned right into regret for any ill feelings I’ve ever had. I hope he takes his brothers advice and be a better man. OP has good parents. He’s still NTA for having those feelings and good in him to set boundaries. Best to stay away for Christmas. Maybe miss it and go for NYE instead. I hope it works out for him and has a healthy relationship with his whole family.
But OP said it wasn't just him but his older brother as well. Both him and his brother were treated less than the moment their parents had a girl (OP says in a response to a comment that his parents had always wanted a girl). He shouldn't take his brother's advice, he should tell his parents exactly what he thinks and then give them an ultimatum of either they stop babying a 17 year old child or they get low contact from him.
Load More Replies... Sounds like my father and his now ex wife. They planned their "family anniversary" specifically for a time I was with them (I was told by my step brother that they kept postponing it "waiting" for me). When I was there, they celebrated and everyone got everyone else a gift. Except me. I got everyone else gifts, but by the end, I was left without a single one. Because it was painfully obvious it was just a way for them to show I didn't matter. Which is why I went no contact, which is a course id recommend to OP. No contact until they treat you equal to Bree, and she doesn't treat you like dirt.
Dude I get your worships the boys. Girls are someone else's her husband's problem. My brother's even my half bro that is not his is better then me. Yeah when I was eleven my first time meeting my 2 year old little brother was a stab in the back. My dad moved his new wife across the country and seven years later my first visit to him they rub in my face that my little bro got to go to Cali disney land the week before i arrived, because they had free ticket about to be expired. The problem wasn't that they took him that he has no memories of now. But that they rubbed it in my face and made me look at the pictures and berated me for being upset about. Even though they never cared about what i qished for on every years blow of the candles was to go to one of the disney places. That's cruelty to a child.
No way his parents can't get this boy socks and underwear if they can afford to buy their daughter gifts. As a parent idc what ages my kids are I'll give them SOMETHING for Christmas. Here's a tin of fudge made with love 💕
OP you're not the ah. In my family the boys are treated better than girls. One gmother because my brother was the only one to carry on the name. My dad was only son to 4 sisters. Jokes on her. My brother didn't want children. my mom only one brother and 2 other sisters. Even my mom treats my brother different/better than me. I can say something and 5 mins later he says the exact thing and he's right. I had to try to explain what my brother was saying once in conversation. She told me flat out I was wrong this happened twice in one conversation. She kept telling me I was wrong. Later I made her apologize to me. Reluctantly she did on one thing then she realized her screw up on the 2nd one and got a better apology. She stills listen more to what he says, treating me like I'm stupid despite the fact I'd being saying the same thing for months. My friends see how I'm treated differently and don't like being around them..
I always struggle with the idea that Americans at that age are still considered children, here we usually leave school at 16 and if not going into further education (very uncommon in my circle) you get a job and start being a productive member of society
I and probably many Americans question how at 16 Europeans feel 16 is an adult especially when it's been scientifically proven that the brain doesn't reach maturity until age 25.
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This is just a thought, and it may not sit well with some, but Christmas is a time for giving. You could lead by example, show them how it's done, by giving presents to the needy, take a toy or two to a childrens hospital, or small gifts to a nursing home, or to a homeless shelter. It doesn't sound like your parents will change anytime soon, but the most important part of Cristmas is time spent with family, while you still have a family. And give without expecting to receive. To those less fortunate. You may stir up some dust, but who cares? It sounds like you could show them all the true reason for the season.
Did y'all see the part where the little sister would get a gift too ON THE OTHER SIBLINGS BIRTHDAY! Like whoa!
I'm guessing your parents feel that you and your brother are the cause of all their stress. It seems as if they don't buy you and your brother gifts, they will have a lower stress experience. Are you really going let your parents treat you like this? After agreeing to no gift giving, they tell you what to buy your sister! Are you really going to let your parents treat you like this? They tell you one thing but then tell you the exception to the rule....your sister. It's not your sister's fault. She is following the only path she knows. The path set forward by your parents. Her life, as adult, will be horribly destructive to her. All these things are your parents fault. If you think they brought you and your brother up well, even more to be angry about, because they had the right path. Why do they choose to ruin her life? I would go, but without a present for your sister. Leave your resentment outside. Don't worry about getting a gift. Feel good about not being "special"!!!
I might even go petty on this one and let them know that I will get that for her (because they probably would tell her), then turn off my phone and sit at home drinking beer and binging a show on Netflix on Christmas
OP, you are right. Pass on Christmas with them this year, take a breather and start creating your own traditions. Let them know budgets are tight for everyone and since you aren't exchanging gifts you don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. But, you'd love to treat them to lunch after the holidays. Unfortunately there will be consequences down the road with Bree as a result of the favoritism. She will continue having temper tantrums to get her way, narcissistic, entitled and manipulative. Be prepared to deal with this in the future. Good luck. Or, one last option is say "I can't afford a pricy gift for her but wouldn't mind contributing $ towards something you are getting her, here is what I can afford and you can add my name to the gift". Make sure the offer is made for something they have already paid for, to offset their out of pocket for it. Be specific and exacting and only if you are choosing to be there. Holding Christmas hostage probably wasn't your best move though.
No one’s going to change their mind so I think he should say that he wants to do a ‘normal’ Christmas as this new ‘low stress’ one has become more stressful than ever before. As it’s a new thing, and they called him to check if he was ok with it, then he should tell them that no, he isn’t, and he will still be bringing gifts for everyone and can they still get one for him. He’s never going to win with ‘Bree and I get presents but no one else’, it needs to be everyone or no one. They don’t agree to no-one (‘cos Bree), so they need to go back to everyone. Maybe brother could help him argue for that as it’s tradition. They could start the no gifts Christmas next year when Bree turns 18 and they are all adults.
Here is some possible insight, your sister may not be aware enough to realize how this is affecting you and your family. Once she hits emotional maturity, she is likely to eventually realize she was favored in a way that hurt the feelings of others. She may even be on your side, after such a realization.
Or, and this is more likely, she'll just STAY selfish and entitled and fail her way through life.
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Your parents are creating an absolute f*cking entitled monster. Sure wish I could be there when reality slaps her in the face.
At first I thought "oh Bree must be like three years old or something" but come to find out SHE'S SEVENTEEN?! Op said that Bree got birthday gifts on HIS birthday?!? His feelings are valid especially since Bree doesn't even try to get her brother's gifts. I would absolutely refuse to get her anything and stay home. I'll have my own low-stress Christmas thank you very much.
We have a Bree in the family. My dad is closed to 70s, his kids are around 40s, our Bree is in the middle. We have always have to take her into consideration or she will make a scene that "we don't love her or care about her". This Xmas she told my dad she wants her percentage of the her inheritance. This is what they are up to spoiling rotten her.
The OP ITA. He has housemates and is living as an adult. It seems his parents only expected him to act like one and understand that his sister is still in high school. We do Secret Santa with our adult children and buy more for the child in high school. Once he graduates, he'll join the Secret Santa drawing. That way, they all got 18 years of major gift giving.
Wow, just wow. What an entitled attitude. When I moved out, i stopped getting gifts. My sisters both kept getting them. Did I whine, b***h and moan? No, because I don't guage my worth on what people buy me. I can buy my own things. I bet if you got granular with the different aspects of thier life there are some things he gets that the others don't. LIFE ISN'T FAIR. Despite what these idiot liberals want t)o pretend, there are winmers and losers in life. Neither side is good or bad until YOU MAKE IT GOOD OR BAD.
Don't know how anyone is justifying this, Christmas is about family not gifts. His a freaking adult and his acting like a big baby. I stop caring about reviving gifts right around 17 and there was nothing more I was looking forward too than visiting my family for the holidays from college He is not only a A-hole here but an immature one that needs to get his priorities straight, family will always be more important than getting gifts. As a millennial I do feel bad for the cuddle generation you are turning them into such big babies and running them. =:3
Evidently the parents don't realize what miserablevel existence they are setting Lil sis up for later on.
If you don't already get it, let me help you - "identified patient" in a dysfunctional family with at least one narcissistic parent. Basically, your sister is the "Golden Child" and the rest of you are "It". You don't need a present, and they don't deserve your presence. They don't want a family Christmas, they want an audience of pain bearers.
Demanding a gift that will never, ever satisfy you given the history is not the move. Staying home and not putting yourself through all that, however, is good. Tuning out of a garbage situation where you feel unseen and unheard, and where it's pretty clear there's no possibility of change (at least as things stand) is always right. Maybe a strong move now will shake them up a bit.
Only thing to consider is DID he get gifts for Christmas when he was 17 and 18? If yes then she does too until she is 19. That is 100 percent fair and anything else is not really fair no matter how spoiled she is in his opinion. If his older brother got gifts until he was 23 then the OP is right to say"Mom and dad I want gifts until I am 23 too" and they will then stop for OP at 23 like big bro and stop for lil sis at 23 and that will make everything FAIR otherwise he is moving the goal post to a place that makes only him happy and deprives her of gifts for the same amount of time he got them based on his desires and not on actual equity nor logic...or am I missing something? I am not sure I believe she got bday gifts her whole life on their bdays and they never convinced parents it was weird, but the issue is not bday it is fairness at Christmas so I am thinking he is a little bit just wanting them to parent her the way he wants and not seeing the whole picture. They aren't going to change now if he let her get bday gifts too his whole life, which again I really don't believe, sorry
The issue was lying about the gift giving and demanding the brothers get something for the sister, at least by my reading.
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Well, family is family. Someday if you lose one of your parents, you’re going to realize how you missed out just to make a point. I would personally go with no presents for anyone. If your sister asks where hers is, say that your parents told her what she would be getting and you can’t imagine that she would want any more. If she presses, ask her what she got you. Then say that in the future all this gift giving needs to be re-examined. It’s ridiculously materialistic and clouds what the holidays should really be about: spending time with the family.
Brother is right, this tantrum makes zero sense. Even if you get a gift, it's a fraction of the sister's loot. Yes berate your parents for saying "no gifts" then giving gifts to one ('tis the season for settling accounts?) but demanding a gift is 100% wrong.
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I bet this spoiled 19yo got Christmas gifts when he was 17, yet he despises his sister for getting gifts at the same age. He is spoiled and narcissistic.
This story is most definitely true. It happens too often, but people don’t seem to recognize it.
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Honestly, I don't think OP is in the wrong one bit. I like the suggestion by one of the redditors saying OP and his brother should have their own Christmas together. And if the parents want to teach Bree any manners whatsoever, they would make her choose a thoughtful gift for each of her brothers, but I doubt that would happen. Bree is well on her way to being a gold digger.
TO Ben who commented saying "it's childish to extort your family in the name of fairness", he is absolutely not extorting anyone. Requiring something in return for doing what someone else wants; is not extorition, it's quid pro quo. That's like saying requiring a paycheck for you to do your job is extorting the company - no it's not. To be extortion there has to be a threat of a loss if they don't do what you want. Him not showing up is not a loss, its just not gaining anything since they never had it the first place. Now you could say that it is childish to charge family for your presence at Christmas. I dont think childish is the word I'd use for it, but it doesn't seem like the most holiday spirited thing. I've heard of. Neither is showering one person in gifts and everyone else gets nothing though.
Load More Replies... She is still a kid, a baby? She is is just two years younger than OP. Just wow...
Either that or she will have graduated to "Karen" by then.
Load More Replies... I was thinking 6 of one half a dozen of the other (ESH) ... Up until he says that the sister always got a present on the brothers birthdays so she wasn't left out ... That's weird, and very poor parenting imo. He should definitely just say to his parents its either presents or no presents this xmas, you can't favour one child.
Yeah that got me. They created a self entitled brat. She will always be difficult and parents dismiss the whole thing.
Load More Replies... This isn't just about getting a present and this kind of thing NEVER stops hurting. I'm almost 60 and my father still does little things that cut me to the core when it comes to me and my siblings. He's probably not even aware he's doing it and the individual things seem petty when you try to explain it but it's a lifetime of it happening and I'm pretty sure I'll go to my grave with that ball of hurt still inside.
Lash out now while you still can. He should be the one hurting, not you
Load More Replies... Wow, OP's sister is spoiled as can be. Not only is she constantly being given gifts at occasions where she shouldn't be (like at the birthday parties of others), she's not expected to give anyone else gifts, and she throws tantrums at 17? Yiiiiiiikes. Those parents aren't doing her any favours whatsoever. She's going to end up the type that everyone around her secretly (or not-so secretly) hates. The type who throws hissy fits in public when she doesn't get her way. Someone who thinks absolutely everything revolves around her. The type that everyone looks at and wonders just what goes on in their head, how they got to be so selfish. This is how.
My 19th birthday. My mother forgot(not unusual), I received no cards, no nothing. Later my big brother comes over and listens to me whine. After telling me I was an adult now, and blah blah blah, he gives me a Mickey Mouse watch
My parents stopped doing anything for my birthday as soon as I turned 18
Load More Replies... I'm 57. I haven't spent Christmas with my relatives in 14 years. I haven't seen them except for one time when I drove the 750 miles to Philly after my mother had a heart attack. I don't get along with my relatives. We're like gasoline and flame. I do, however, have a new family, one that I chose and who chose me, and I spend my holidays and time with them. DNA doesn't make a family. Love, respect and understanding makes a family. The OP needs to understand that, find a new family and ditch the relatives.
17 isn’t a child. She’s old enough to know better and they’re about to release her into adult world for the rest of us to deal with. Parents take notes. This is how future Karen’s are made.
Yeah, like the day she brings home a escaped convict home and can't understand why her parents don't like him!
Load More Replies... OK, honestly, I can't even handle this! I am youngest child in my family, but I am defiantly not the favorite and neither are my others sisters, although my oldest sis has a daughter and gets quite a few things from my parents, but no we have no golden child in our family. My opinion is that she is seventeen and the OP's parents should have been training her to be on her own and to not depend on them for the last two years from when she can get a job, and save the money for when she decides to leave or go to college to get an iPad or laptop. This was not an invalid thought and you should NOT feel obligated to get her a gift and your parents should understand that you are nineteen and need to start saving money for your own necessities and never should they have asked you that, which is also putting requirement and guilt on you. Have your own Christmas and facetime them, but explain that you are not in a good place to do gifts and just facetime or text on birthdays and Christmas!
Agreed. My 14 year old son is the youngest, but he already does things for neighbors to earn money for things he is trying to save up for. My two other adult children (19 & 21) work FT, but still live at home to save money to get their own place. They both pay for their phones, car insurance, and car repairs and pay a small rent… which goes into a savings account that they don’t know about. They’ll get it back when they move out. I’m quite proud of my kids.
Load More Replies... Easy enough stop buying your parents Christmas presents, if they say why just say you are adults stop being entitled. Also don't buy Bree anything if they say why just say because she has got enough of you.
Wtaf is wrong with people?! His parents know exactly what they are doing, unless they live under a rock and have no contact with the outside world and therefore no awareness of how to be and act. It is malicious. They got away with it when he was young and couldn’t do anything about it; no doubt if he complained they negated his feelings. His brother is like a kicked dog that doesn’t know any better.
The parents would rather insult and berate the son than give him a pair of socks. I would give up on the parents. It won’t hurt them and it’ll protect him from further emotional abuse
Load More Replies... "They thought they raised him better" lol maybe they should have raised the daughter better. I have a 6 year old daughter who can throw tantrums that can make a MAGA politician look reasonable, and a 19 year old guy who is chill. Both are getting the exact same amount of gift (at least in money's worth since his computer gadgets are more expensive and she still likes dolls and other less expensive stuff). They are both my kids and will be getting presents as long as I live.
See, he's handling this all wrong. I would talk to my bro and we would get each other presents. None for Bree. Even each get a present for Mom and Dad. None for Bree. With a family like that, he needs to learn the art of passive-aggressive real quick.
Except Bro is done, it is what it is, why argue. He's probably gotten her a gift
Load More Replies... Don’t worry, OP. When your sister has children, she’ll get a big ol’ dose of Karma, and you can laugh and laugh….
No, that's how you end up with narcissistic or codependent children who go on to live miserable lives. I hope she doesn't have kids. Though it's sad for her too because her life will be filled with unhappiness and frustration
Load More Replies... At first my opinion was ESH, but for me, the straw that broke this particular camel's back was not even the lying about no gifts and then buying gifts for the sister (awful, but ultimately forgiveable ), it was telling OP that he would not receive any gifts, but still expecting him to buy gifts for the sister. Continued behavior like this is almost a form of family annihilation--parents will drive away the two older sons, and daughter will only care about them until the first time they have to say "No". OP does not specify what level of support parents may still be providing (college, rent support?), but I agree that his best choice is to go low/no contact and seek his happiness and validation elsewhere.
Putting aside the "sister being the golden child" thing for a moment…why aren’t they getting the other 2 any gifts? It’s CHRISTMAS! I get that it’s not about the presents and stuff, and that some people enjoy being around their family members, but come on! They weren’t going to get each other anything?! Like, not even a piece of candy or a gift card, or literally anything at all? I wouldn’t have agreed to come on that basis alone. I can at least then spend a gift less Christmas alone doing something I actually want to. Then, adding back in the fact that the sister isn’t having a gift drought, it almost feels like the parents were giving off the vibe that they didn’t want OP or his brother to come.
Wait until this "Karen-in-the-making" is unleashed on the rest of the world. God help us all when she finds out the world does not in fact revolve around her
What if she gets hurt because of her "me, me, me" attitude? Will the parents just baby her or will they realize that they f****d up with her? Imagine if she has kids, if they get hurt and she has to take them to the hospital will she sit there and pout and throw a tantrum and BLAME A CHILD because SHE didn't get what SHE wanted? We can really only hope that OP's parents realize soon that they cant spoil her forever
Load More Replies... NTA! Why don't you, and your Brother, buy each other a couple of gifts, put up a little tree, make a Christmas dinner all to yourselves! Take pictures, and videos to send to your parents. If they want a low key Christmas, after spending all of the money on her, have a special Christmas with your Brother. You two, could even go out for dinner instead of cooking. If they want to baby, a near grown woman; let them! I'm a grandmother, I raised my two children alone, and I'm now raising my grandsons. I would NEVER, buy for only one child, no matter the age. Unless, I'm broke. Then, it would probably be, scrape a little together for my grandsons. When my kids where 17, and 18, there was never favoritism, and all things were bought equally! I'm sorry you had to go through this, I know it has to be painful to feel left out. Next year, you and your Brother, do it for The two of you only if it happens again. I hope you stood your ground, and stayed home. Sister, sound so entitled, she doesn't even have to buy gifts for anyone.
Lol do she got a present on everyone’s birthday? They took away that person’s special day. Op NTA. Parents ATA. Op needs to go no contact. Bree will always be difficult and they made her that way. So sad.
„She’s still a baby” what’s bothering the most, and it says everything. 17 year old….. seriouslyyy
Yeah. Definitely. At 17, I was working FT, paying rent, financially responsible for my car, my phone (that was when cellphones were pretty new to the average person and were charged for everything), and I bought everyone in my house something for Christmas… albeit not a lot, but something. My parents couldn’t afford to go all out on any of us. It was more about being together. Then again, I’m genX… we were taught to not depend on anyone but ourselves.
Load More Replies... I guess everyone in the family was supposed to watch Bree open her gifts on Christmas morning. The parents have lost the plot over their golden child.
It really depends on if Bree had a saying in the decision to abolish all the gifts. I was the youngest child with considerable older siblings and I sometimes was really sad when the older family members decided, "what they don't need anymore". They enjoyed the full programm with tree, gifts, cookies and a fancy meal till the age of 25 and then changed their minds? Well, that cut me out of 10 years of lavish Christmases they had. Probably they are fed up with some traditions, but that didn't mean that I was fed up with those!
I do think they’ve decided to change one year too early. They should do a normal gift giving Christmas this year and then when Bree, as the youngest sibling, turns 18 then they have an adults’ Christmas with no gifts or a secret Santa or something.
Load More Replies... If it was just about the OP not getting a gift, that would be one thing, but it isn't. It's about the parents saying 'no gifts' and then immediately saying 'except for your sister; she still gets gifts'. It's about the double standard. It's about the parents either showing favoritism or enabling entitled behavior (or both). So yeah, hard NTA for the OP.
What got me was you have a "family Amazon", so Bree knows what got. Also there's the what was brought outside Amazon. Just wait, she'll be the "black sheep" one day. Golden Child usually age & disappoint parents. DEFINITELY wouldn't be buying her anything, 17yr old GET A JOB
My husband and I discussed this because we have 4 sons. We have never favoured one over another. At Christmas, they all got the same amount of gifts from us. As they got older and more expensive, the most expensive gift was for birthdays. Each child had to make a gift for each of his brothers and when they got older and started getting and allowance or made their own money they would pick a name out of the Christmas stocking and that was who they bought a gift for. They still had to make a gift for everybody else. They even bought or made each other birthday presents. They are all grown now but they still follow this practice. They said they never felt favouritism from us. I did have one I babied a little more because we almost lost him at birth but the others understood that and it wasn't overly done. I think OP has the right idea or maybe he should go and just exchange a gift with his brother.
I'm 16 years old, and I can't even begin to comprehend what's going on in the mind of OP's sister. I couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to live with (or be) an entitled child. I was taught that life isn't fair, and that if you don't get what you want, then you work for it. The parents of OP clearly haven't placed any boundaries or rules with Bree. If they don't do anything about it anytime soon, then Bree is going to grow up continuing to be a spoiled adult-child, which is even worse than a regular spoiled child. Such a shame to see people older than me acting like they're younger than me.
Disgusting behavior from the parents. Don't worry they'll have to deal with that beast of burden for years to come.
My boys are both married and have young babies but I still buy them Christmas presents not much but like socks and pj bottoms and a gift card to some store for 50 bucks, and I get my daughter inlaws gifts too plus 3 grandchildren and I'm not rich I'm a pensioner, I can't believe how your parents are treating u like u don't count anymore I don't blame u for not going home for Christmas, sounds like a spoiled brat your sister
My youngest is 15. She wouldn't tell me what she wanted for Christmas for the longest time because she was afraid of the price tag. We used to be on welfare. We're not any more. We're not "rolling in it" but money isn't the stress it used to be, where treating her to MacDonald 's meant deciding is I was going to short-pay the phone bill or the hydro bill. So her father, her grandfather, and I chipped in to get her what she had her heart set on. Come Christmas Day, we pulled out a carry-on suitcase we made a point of telling her her dad won in a raffle. In it was some pjs, socks, & undies. She was clearly let down but still smile thank-you. I sd check the accessory case and make sure she wasn't allergic to any of it. When she opened the case and saw the Switch, she was over the moon! Point being: she didn't pitch a toddler tantrum when she thought she got socks and underwear (they were good brand and really cute) instead.
I should mention that my youngest really is the baby: her siblings are in their late twenties to thirties and she's only ten years older than her niece.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA, how can they possibly say they thought they raised you better while demonstrating that being childish and petty like your sister gets you rewarded with gifts, and being an "adult" gets you nothing.
NTA....the OP needs to address this better. Instead of demanding a gift. He needs to do a print out of the gifts brought with the total amount for Bree.( if he can any past gifts too for him and his brother compare to her) sit his parents down when it is not then holidays and explain your point. Showing then the gifts the amounts and explain how wrong they were to say no one is to get gifts and assume that didn't include an 17yo who is about to be an adult. If they want a low stress Christmas but still expected gifts for the daughter then should have requested you and your siblings do 1gift don't worry about them.
NTA-BUT you definitely need to set boundaries and tell your parents how you feel and maybe even family therapy in the future. I suggest going to the Christmas and being low key and don't bring her a gift. Maybe bring a box a cookies or something and say it's a family gift and stand tall and let them know you don't appreciate how you're treated when it comes to Bree. Yes she is the baby in your family, but when she goes off to college or gets a job she will face serious problems if they continue to coddle her and she will wind up not wanting to ever move out but living and leeching off of them rent -and bill-free well into her 40s and 50s if they keep babying her like this.
Initially I was flippy floppy on this but after reading other details from OP like ‘she got something on OUR birthday as well’ wtf?! Did ya bake her her own cake w candles too?! If the brothers didn’t get a gift on HER birthday OR EVER received ANY gift from her… yea, nta but the parents are sure raising one!!! What this world needs! More entitlement!
Bro my niece had her period in 5th grade. Your 17 year old sister is not a baby. Wait till they pay for all her college everything that goes with it.
I thinkmassholemove here really is whole parents saying how they want Christmas without presents and then denand exceltion and present for his sister from OP. Like whether they get her present or not is up to them, but demanding it from OP is bad move here. Though in OPs place, I would just insist on no gift, since that is the deal, or no deal. But wouldn't mention how they need to give me a gift. But maybe OP will be better off not going, considering you can feel like there is a lot of history behind everything.
I was a middle child also. Seems like middle child syndrome (just what I called it) Either my older brother (a Jr.) or my younger siblings were spoiled. I got the hand me downs or I worked hard for everything. Mowed lawns for money since I was 10. My two youngest siblings died from accidents 16yo brother and a 18 yo sister right out of high school. My oldest brother (Jr) died from Covid in 2020. Middle child syndrome just turned right into regret for any ill feelings I’ve ever had. I hope he takes his brothers advice and be a better man. OP has good parents. He’s still NTA for having those feelings and good in him to set boundaries. Best to stay away for Christmas. Maybe miss it and go for NYE instead. I hope it works out for him and has a healthy relationship with his whole family.
But OP said it wasn't just him but his older brother as well. Both him and his brother were treated less than the moment their parents had a girl (OP says in a response to a comment that his parents had always wanted a girl). He shouldn't take his brother's advice, he should tell his parents exactly what he thinks and then give them an ultimatum of either they stop babying a 17 year old child or they get low contact from him.
Load More Replies... Sounds like my father and his now ex wife. They planned their "family anniversary" specifically for a time I was with them (I was told by my step brother that they kept postponing it "waiting" for me). When I was there, they celebrated and everyone got everyone else a gift. Except me. I got everyone else gifts, but by the end, I was left without a single one. Because it was painfully obvious it was just a way for them to show I didn't matter. Which is why I went no contact, which is a course id recommend to OP. No contact until they treat you equal to Bree, and she doesn't treat you like dirt.
Dude I get your worships the boys. Girls are someone else's her husband's problem. My brother's even my half bro that is not his is better then me. Yeah when I was eleven my first time meeting my 2 year old little brother was a stab in the back. My dad moved his new wife across the country and seven years later my first visit to him they rub in my face that my little bro got to go to Cali disney land the week before i arrived, because they had free ticket about to be expired. The problem wasn't that they took him that he has no memories of now. But that they rubbed it in my face and made me look at the pictures and berated me for being upset about. Even though they never cared about what i qished for on every years blow of the candles was to go to one of the disney places. That's cruelty to a child.
No way his parents can't get this boy socks and underwear if they can afford to buy their daughter gifts. As a parent idc what ages my kids are I'll give them SOMETHING for Christmas. Here's a tin of fudge made with love 💕
OP you're not the ah. In my family the boys are treated better than girls. One gmother because my brother was the only one to carry on the name. My dad was only son to 4 sisters. Jokes on her. My brother didn't want children. my mom only one brother and 2 other sisters. Even my mom treats my brother different/better than me. I can say something and 5 mins later he says the exact thing and he's right. I had to try to explain what my brother was saying once in conversation. She told me flat out I was wrong this happened twice in one conversation. She kept telling me I was wrong. Later I made her apologize to me. Reluctantly she did on one thing then she realized her screw up on the 2nd one and got a better apology. She stills listen more to what he says, treating me like I'm stupid despite the fact I'd being saying the same thing for months. My friends see how I'm treated differently and don't like being around them..
I always struggle with the idea that Americans at that age are still considered children, here we usually leave school at 16 and if not going into further education (very uncommon in my circle) you get a job and start being a productive member of society
I and probably many Americans question how at 16 Europeans feel 16 is an adult especially when it's been scientifically proven that the brain doesn't reach maturity until age 25.
Load More Replies... This is just a thought, and it may not sit well with some, but Christmas is a time for giving. You could lead by example, show them how it's done, by giving presents to the needy, take a toy or two to a childrens hospital, or small gifts to a nursing home, or to a homeless shelter. It doesn't sound like your parents will change anytime soon, but the most important part of Cristmas is time spent with family, while you still have a family. And give without expecting to receive. To those less fortunate. You may stir up some dust, but who cares? It sounds like you could show them all the true reason for the season.
Did y'all see the part where the little sister would get a gift too ON THE OTHER SIBLINGS BIRTHDAY! Like whoa!
I'm guessing your parents feel that you and your brother are the cause of all their stress. It seems as if they don't buy you and your brother gifts, they will have a lower stress experience. Are you really going let your parents treat you like this? After agreeing to no gift giving, they tell you what to buy your sister! Are you really going to let your parents treat you like this? They tell you one thing but then tell you the exception to the rule....your sister. It's not your sister's fault. She is following the only path she knows. The path set forward by your parents. Her life, as adult, will be horribly destructive to her. All these things are your parents fault. If you think they brought you and your brother up well, even more to be angry about, because they had the right path. Why do they choose to ruin her life? I would go, but without a present for your sister. Leave your resentment outside. Don't worry about getting a gift. Feel good about not being "special"!!!
I might even go petty on this one and let them know that I will get that for her (because they probably would tell her), then turn off my phone and sit at home drinking beer and binging a show on Netflix on Christmas
OP, you are right. Pass on Christmas with them this year, take a breather and start creating your own traditions. Let them know budgets are tight for everyone and since you aren't exchanging gifts you don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. But, you'd love to treat them to lunch after the holidays. Unfortunately there will be consequences down the road with Bree as a result of the favoritism. She will continue having temper tantrums to get her way, narcissistic, entitled and manipulative. Be prepared to deal with this in the future. Good luck. Or, one last option is say "I can't afford a pricy gift for her but wouldn't mind contributing $ towards something you are getting her, here is what I can afford and you can add my name to the gift". Make sure the offer is made for something they have already paid for, to offset their out of pocket for it. Be specific and exacting and only if you are choosing to be there. Holding Christmas hostage probably wasn't your best move though.
No one’s going to change their mind so I think he should say that he wants to do a ‘normal’ Christmas as this new ‘low stress’ one has become more stressful than ever before. As it’s a new thing, and they called him to check if he was ok with it, then he should tell them that no, he isn’t, and he will still be bringing gifts for everyone and can they still get one for him. He’s never going to win with ‘Bree and I get presents but no one else’, it needs to be everyone or no one. They don’t agree to no-one (‘cos Bree), so they need to go back to everyone. Maybe brother could help him argue for that as it’s tradition. They could start the no gifts Christmas next year when Bree turns 18 and they are all adults.
Here is some possible insight, your sister may not be aware enough to realize how this is affecting you and your family. Once she hits emotional maturity, she is likely to eventually realize she was favored in a way that hurt the feelings of others. She may even be on your side, after such a realization.
Or, and this is more likely, she'll just STAY selfish and entitled and fail her way through life.
Load More Replies... Your parents are creating an absolute f*cking entitled monster. Sure wish I could be there when reality slaps her in the face.
At first I thought "oh Bree must be like three years old or something" but come to find out SHE'S SEVENTEEN?! Op said that Bree got birthday gifts on HIS birthday?!? His feelings are valid especially since Bree doesn't even try to get her brother's gifts. I would absolutely refuse to get her anything and stay home. I'll have my own low-stress Christmas thank you very much.
We have a Bree in the family. My dad is closed to 70s, his kids are around 40s, our Bree is in the middle. We have always have to take her into consideration or she will make a scene that "we don't love her or care about her". This Xmas she told my dad she wants her percentage of the her inheritance. This is what they are up to spoiling rotten her.
The OP ITA. He has housemates and is living as an adult. It seems his parents only expected him to act like one and understand that his sister is still in high school. We do Secret Santa with our adult children and buy more for the child in high school. Once he graduates, he'll join the Secret Santa drawing. That way, they all got 18 years of major gift giving.
Wow, just wow. What an entitled attitude. When I moved out, i stopped getting gifts. My sisters both kept getting them. Did I whine, b***h and moan? No, because I don't guage my worth on what people buy me. I can buy my own things. I bet if you got granular with the different aspects of thier life there are some things he gets that the others don't. LIFE ISN'T FAIR. Despite what these idiot liberals want t)o pretend, there are winmers and losers in life. Neither side is good or bad until YOU MAKE IT GOOD OR BAD.
Don't know how anyone is justifying this, Christmas is about family not gifts. His a freaking adult and his acting like a big baby. I stop caring about reviving gifts right around 17 and there was nothing more I was looking forward too than visiting my family for the holidays from college He is not only a A-hole here but an immature one that needs to get his priorities straight, family will always be more important than getting gifts. As a millennial I do feel bad for the cuddle generation you are turning them into such big babies and running them. =:3
Evidently the parents don't realize what miserablevel existence they are setting Lil sis up for later on.
If you don't already get it, let me help you - "identified patient" in a dysfunctional family with at least one narcissistic parent. Basically, your sister is the "Golden Child" and the rest of you are "It". You don't need a present, and they don't deserve your presence. They don't want a family Christmas, they want an audience of pain bearers.
Demanding a gift that will never, ever satisfy you given the history is not the move. Staying home and not putting yourself through all that, however, is good. Tuning out of a garbage situation where you feel unseen and unheard, and where it's pretty clear there's no possibility of change (at least as things stand) is always right. Maybe a strong move now will shake them up a bit.
Only thing to consider is DID he get gifts for Christmas when he was 17 and 18? If yes then she does too until she is 19. That is 100 percent fair and anything else is not really fair no matter how spoiled she is in his opinion. If his older brother got gifts until he was 23 then the OP is right to say"Mom and dad I want gifts until I am 23 too" and they will then stop for OP at 23 like big bro and stop for lil sis at 23 and that will make everything FAIR otherwise he is moving the goal post to a place that makes only him happy and deprives her of gifts for the same amount of time he got them based on his desires and not on actual equity nor logic...or am I missing something? I am not sure I believe she got bday gifts her whole life on their bdays and they never convinced parents it was weird, but the issue is not bday it is fairness at Christmas so I am thinking he is a little bit just wanting them to parent her the way he wants and not seeing the whole picture. They aren't going to change now if he let her get bday gifts too his whole life, which again I really don't believe, sorry
The issue was lying about the gift giving and demanding the brothers get something for the sister, at least by my reading.
Load More Replies... Well, family is family. Someday if you lose one of your parents, you’re going to realize how you missed out just to make a point. I would personally go with no presents for anyone. If your sister asks where hers is, say that your parents told her what she would be getting and you can’t imagine that she would want any more. If she presses, ask her what she got you. Then say that in the future all this gift giving needs to be re-examined. It’s ridiculously materialistic and clouds what the holidays should really be about: spending time with the family.
Brother is right, this tantrum makes zero sense. Even if you get a gift, it's a fraction of the sister's loot. Yes berate your parents for saying "no gifts" then giving gifts to one ('tis the season for settling accounts?) but demanding a gift is 100% wrong.
PSA time about down votes. Down votes are not dislike buttons, they are a reporting tool for users to report comments that are harassment, hate based, or spam. Down votes get people suspended and possibly banned. BP does not review the comments, and people will get a notification that their account has been suspended/ banned due to suspicious activity. That is also why the comments are hidden. It is BP biggest flaw. So, if you don't agree with an opinion or it is different than the majority, just scroll on by or comment, but please save the down votes for the haters and spammers. And if you see someone with down votes and their comment does not fall under harassment, hate, spam , please up vote them to 0 so they don't get banned.
Load More Replies... I bet this spoiled 19yo got Christmas gifts when he was 17, yet he despises his sister for getting gifts at the same age. He is spoiled and narcissistic.
This story is most definitely true. It happens too often, but people don’t seem to recognize it.
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