Teen Refuses To Babysit 16 Kids, Gets Woken Up With Ice-Cold Water On Her Face The Next Morning
Interview With Author
Looking after children is basically a job. Indeed, for many a babysitter and nanny, it is literally what puts food on the table. Statistics show that the more children one adds to the “job,” the higher the prices go, that’s just the way of the world.
So when she was asked to babysit 16 whole kids for free, one teenager, naturally, declined, then was shocked to find herself on the receiving end of insults and yelling from their particularly entitled parents. So she stood her ground, got her immediate family involved and the drama grew. We got in touch with Itchy_Knowledge2328 to find out more.
Babysitting an entire birthday party for free sounds like a task straight out of hell
Image credits: halfpoint (not the actual photo)
So one teen turned down such a gig, then found herself in the crosshairs of her extended family
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual photo)
OP gave readers an update on what happened next
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Image source: Itchy_Knowledge2328
Entitled adults often make very poor choices
Bored Panda got in touch with Itchy_Knowledge2328 and she was kind enough to provide some additional details. “I think that adults think they’re entitled to free labor by their teenage nieces and nephews and cousins and children is based on the way that they were raised. They have this urge to boss around and bully them because that either happened to them when they were a teenager. But I also think that some people just get used to you doing stuff for free for them but when you ask for money from them they get angry and entitled. That goes for anybody and everybody in the world. Change is very scary to the human species. Entitlement is something everybody shares. Whether you’re entitled in a good way or a bad way. It’s basically how you were raised. And how your social life is. And how you use your entitlement.”
“Secondly, my family and I are not on really good terms right now. As soon as my mom headed back up to a different state bullying happened again right now I’m not talking to anybody in my family besides my mom my siblings and my grandma. They’re mostly mad that I blasted all of our problems on social media. All of their names were changed for privacy reasons but I did leave the first letter of their name the exact same. That’s kind of how they knew it was me plus all of the details. My mom is about fed up with her siblings and their spouses. And my aunt Kelly keeps on posting Facebook posts about me and saying some nasty stuff. Commenting on my weight, height, face shape everything you can imagine. I don’t really care what she says on Facebook because I don’t have a good relationship with her to even feel slightly hurt by it. But my Uncle Chris hurt me a lot and so did the rest of my family because I was super close to the rest of them. But they’re not too mad at me because I’m going to be watching some of my cousins this weekend while they all go out for a little night out on the town.”
Looking after multiple kids for free is not an activity most people are interested in
Just looking after a single kid is enough work. It’s no wonder many nations set up pretty expansive parental leave rules because otherwise having a child becomes an impossible mission. Probably the best-known examples of this are in Scandinavia, for example, Denmark, where new parents are given a whopping 52 weeks of leave to split between them, so both can be involved in raising the child. But even parents need a break, as in OP’s story, so the age-old solution is to hire a babysitter. But OP’s family seems to have gotten greedy and wanted a free babysitter. Now, the cost of living is tough these days, but looking after sixteen children, all going nuts at a birthday party is not a reasonable request.
For example, in the US, the average cost for a babysitter for one child, one hour, is $22.68, which is actually quite a lot more than many entry-level jobs. This number actually goes up roughly two more dollars for each subsequent child, but in most cases, a babysitter is not contending with more than three to four kids. A party is quite different, with more children, more activities, and, generally, sugar, creating a sort of frenzy among the kids that most people would prefer to not be in charge of. OP did make this clear to her extended family, but they seemed to believe that pulling a “we are family” card entitled them to free labor.
It’s not actually bad to ask family for help, it is the original socially cohesive unit. But OP’s extended family’s reaction to her leaving is very telling. Instead of accepting a no, they verbally harassed and abused her, despite having no right to say and do what they did. It seems the responsibility of “family” only extended to OP looking after the birthday party, not being respected as an autonomous human being. Fortunately, she was not alone and other family members backed her up. Instead of trying to make a deal, the extended family threw a tantrum, behavior childish enough to warrant them perhaps having their own babysitters. But OP did the right thing by standing up for herself, a good backbone is an important skill to learn early.
Most readers sided with OP and were shocked at her family’s behavior
I'm so upset I can barely articulate it properly. Expletives keep getting in the way.
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The family wasn't just wrong but terribly, terribly wrong. Wrong enough to justify never speaking to them again. I used to be a preschool teacher and we did sleepovers once a year - even with decades experience working with kids, I wouldn't have done a sleep over with so many by myself. Aunt pouring water over would probably classed as assault in most places, there's no "joke" there and claiming that after such a major row is absurd. Above all, the absolute entitlement of that family is stunning. I don't know what I'd have done in her shoes as a teen but I do know what I'd have done as her mother: The only contact the family would be having with her is to make a groveling apology.
She only claimed it as a joke to try n get outta trouble
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In many countries it's illegal to leave 16 kids with one not even legal adult. If something happened to any of the kids their parents would still be liable.
In the US, the accepted adult-to-child ratio for professional child day care used to be 5to1. (I don't remember the $ aspect). Family was clearly taking advantage of the girl (no one would have asked a boy to do this.) Proud of OP for sticking up for herself and hope the arrangement suits her. (Or she can read the other article about getting high before being saddled with babysitting duties. Lol. Kinda.)
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Omg.... that poor girl. They're only sorry bc they were called out on social media and are now getting their a$$es handed to them. They aren't sorry for how they treated her, they're sorry bc everyone else found out. I hope they realize that once she turns 18, she can legally LEAVE and go anywhere she wants and they may not ever hear from her again. F this "family"; they're only sorry bc they got caught
Right?! I hate to admit it, but I wish I had reddit to tell on my family and their awful ways when I was that young. In fact, I hope more folks tell on their abusive families on Reddit. Maybe a cyber 'tar and feather' will encourage more families to stop exploiting the younger members.
Load More Replies... This family is unbelievably toxic. Bullying, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, triangulating. This story has it all!
The worst part is their gaslighting mostly worked.
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I'd have attacked that bïtch who dropped cold water on OP sleeping ASAP if that was me - even before knowing who it is, if you're gonna assault me in bed I'll punch your nose backwards through your skull. NTA
Lol yes! Always choose violence against asshatfuckers
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......this is just horrendous. Remember that 'Cutting out all the toxic people in your life' also stretches to family, not just friends. It seems like crocodile tears were used by your family too and they'll probably 'forget' this my the end of the month and just carry on using you. Run....RUUUN FOR THEE HILLS! (Also kudos to your mam and sister for sticking up for ya)
Your whole family sucks period.. who throws ice water on a kid to wake them up? Sounds like the adults are the children.. no wonder they demand free help. Perfect example of how not everyone should have children.
I'm sorry ur awful auntie poured water on u. U seem like such a lovely girl. Glad u stood up to them xx
It's hard enough to take care of one child, 16 of them is not a job for a single person.
Especially not when they're all wired up on cake and ice cream. This whole scenario is nightmare fuel.
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I know the OP of this has little to no chance of ever reading this but I can still hope: You're not indebted to your family because occasionally they're nice to you. Being nice to you and all of the children is supposed to the THEIR jobs, not yours. I was regularly used to watch all of my younger cousins, unpaid, for years. Don't. Do. It. As soon as you refuse to be taken advantage of they WILL turn on you. You're not going to like what I'm about to say, but, YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY. Like college or moving at LEAST one, preferably two, hours away. I have a bad feeling you're going to find out just as fast as I did when I left my abusive family at 17 that once you're no longer usable they're going to exit your life. Don't cling to people who are only going to use you and then gas light you because you're used to being abandoned. Get away now, and allow them to show you who actually gives a shït about you by showing up when they don't need you for something.
For anybody wondering, 12. 12 cousins, all the way from 8 years to 3 months. I was EXPECTED to watch them, alone, sometimes for multiple days at 10-14 years old. Yes, it was a nightmare. "So why'd you do it?" I wouldn't get fed otherwise. Yes, really. So, I can absolutely empathize with this OP. Run, don't walk away. Sometimes "family" is just a phrase to use against you.
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NTA - you are 17! Never let anyone else determine your worth or guilt you into "family responsibility" like babysitting 10+ kids for zero money. You had (and still have) EVERY RIGHT to say NO. Even if they offered payment, your time and your plans are important. Being 17 and free from adult responsibilities should lead to scary movie nights with friends not babysitting sleep overs so "adults" can have "date night". Their lack of planning AND inconsiderate attitudes are not your responsibility. Also, posting online seemed to be the only way to be heard by your family, so good for you!
What this family is doing to this kid is SOOOO WRONG in so many levels I'm having a hard time...
Wow! The water of the face is literally a slap to the face! Op they don't care about you they just wanted the free child care! They knew Damn well that wasn't a joke and are only saying that because they got called out! Op run far away!! Or set boundaries and don't let them break them!
NTA! 16 kids? No way in h**l! That is a lot of kids! And they didn't even ask her! The water in her face while she was sleeping? So wrong. What a f***ed up family! I'm glad they got called out on their BS! Good for you!
Your entire family is toxic as fk. Also report your aunt and uncle for assault!
Not bloody assault! It’s cruel and unfunny but a cops going to laugh in your face if you call over that.
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Why is she feeling bad about refusing to do what these morons want? Even as a 17 year old they had no right to treat her that way. I would've told them to screw themselves and my parents would've backed me up.
NTA! 1. They tried to p**n 16 kids not yours n not direct blood related (cousin n friends of them) on you by also lying to others that you said its ok. 2. they poured water on you to yell at you for not giving up your night so they could have their own 3. They got mad you wanted payment for tht amount of work 4. They THEN proceed to GASLIGHT you and play "im so sorry" and "it was a joke" once outted Do not feel bad over ppl who take you for granted abuse you mental/emotional and take advantage of your kindness
Also hate me for this but im on the belief that if YOU have kids you acknowledge you ARE going to be giving up YOUR freedom.
Load More Replies... I'm curious to know why this girl doesn't live with her mom-that she lived with her aunt and uncle for months, is now living with her older sister, but her mom is able to rush over and defend her (thank goodness!!!) when this dumpster fire pathetic excuse for a family gangs up on her child!!! Not judging the mom, just wondering about the circumstances. I don't doubt the story at all. Too many parents these days seem to think that just because they have children doesn't mean they're actually required to raise them and do the work themselves, that it's perfectly legit to p**n them off on whomever they can for as little compensation as possible. If you don't want to spend time with your brat, what makes you think anyone else does either?? Teenagers are not built-in babysitters. And people wonder why couples are choosing to be childless these days...
I was wondering the same thing. Why doesn't she live with her mom
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I've cut ties with about 90% of my family because they're alcoholics, drug addicts, gambling addicts (and thus "I need money for rent, please), and, worst of all, narcissists. Family means nothing. So when I get told "family business is private business", my response is always "family means nothing to me, so f*ck right off. I'll post what I want. Don't like it? Leave me alone."
What in the barefoot assed, take me home country roads, school bus living, family tree with no branches s**t did I just read?
Who goes out on the night of their own child's birthday? Like, they have to be such drunk a******s that they cannot socialize around the kids? Are they smoking meth? Like really why the you throw a party for the Express purpose of abandoning your kids? Sure it's one thing to get a night off when other people throw kids vday parties, but if you are the parent throwing it I would expect you to be there the entire time.
I might be able to help here. I come from a very large family. My mother was the oldest of twelve. I am the oldest grandson and my sister is the oldest granddaughter. I am 61 years old now, and my sister is 62. Family gatherings were almost weekly. When I was16 , I had 24 cousins. I fully understand how aunts and uncles can turn what seems to a normal situation where the oldest just naturally look after the youngest. And how overlooking the level of responsibility and expectations the are assuming. I suspect the plans were made all around you without including you and a parent spoke on your behalf confirming you availability. That is where you need to focus. Find out which of your parents spoke out of turn. It is up to that person to apologize to EVERYONE. Furthermore, they have to consider that you may want to included in the adult plans. Time to realize that you aren't eating at the kids table anymore. Move over adults. Make room for 1 more.
Her parents aren't in the picture for this story so it was an aunt that volunteered her which is worse.
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Abuse and Parentification run rampit in that dysfunctional family. Moms around but she lived with relatives and now sister. They dump 16 kids for one 17 year old to babysit. Call CPS STAT!!!
It sounds like a family full of child abusers. Poor OP, get away asap!
What a bunch of complete psychos. Imagine accusing a teenager, that those selfish bastards are trying to dump 16 kids on, of her "bailing" on the kids. What a bunch of spoiled morons! And to play the victims afterwards? So incredibly and completely insane.
I can understand if family is ok with a teen watching their young kids overnight but I have to wonder if the parent's of this birthday girl's friends were aware a teen would be the only supervision. I personally, would not be ok with just a single teen watching my child during a sleepover over if it was my family. I absolutely would not allow my child to attend a sleepover at a friend's with no adult supervision. That is a lot for an adult couple to keep so many young kids overnight. It is simply unimaginable to think of a teen being left alone overnight with 15 young kids. Imagine what can go wrong in that scenario. Absolutely too much responsibility to even consider requesting of a teenager.
Once 18, this girl needs to move far, far away and rid herself of these horrible people.
I owned a family daycare. I got paid. It is very physically and emotionally wearing to do a good job of caring for many children at the same time. You should be paid. You love these children and their parents love you. What's the problem with you getting some money for it to put aside for your future? If they love you? They want to help you prepare for your future!
It's only a joke if the victim is laughing too. OP is almost a legal adult. Here's hoping they get to go to college, and do so far enough away to see how normal people treat each other.
This post made me physically sick to my stomach. Its a case study in gaslighting, child abuse, manipulation, entitlement and TOXIC "family matters" thinking. The kind of people who scream at a 17 year old for not being at their beck and call for service, throw water in their face and assault them. Are the EXACT same people that dont say anything because that one uncle molests all the little girls in the family and cover it up. Its toxic to its core. The deserve the public shame. And much MUCH more. Also dont fall for their tears. All those crocodile tears are purely for their own benefit and because they got found out. "Ice water on the face is a joke" go f yourslef with that lie. And made me so so sade the OP was believing it.
I hope someone pointed out to OP that the way the Aunt and U cle cried and apologized and told her they value her is just part of the abuse cycle. They'll be repeating the toxicity and disrespect again in no time. Fortunately, OP did the smartest thing she could by saying that if their bad behavior continues, she'll disown them when she turns 18. Nothing else will motivate them to change, and if they still don't change, she can cut them out. I just hope they don't keep stringing her along with the cycle of acting s****y and then acting sorry.
Parents of this teen had every right to call the police on aunt and uncle who splash their kid with cold water. What kind of behavior is that? Are they adults or is something wrong with them mentally? You should let your post circulate the net for eternity and you should have write the real names of those shameless people (aunt and uncle) so everyone could despise them like they deserved! Gosh, I'm so, soo angry 😡
The OP needs to put some boundaries out there with her family. And I'd still call the social worker on the pair who dumped water on her. Those 2 have some issues. If they have kids of their own, someone needs to keep an eye on them.
She's young and hasn't seen the world which is why she feels like this is a family instead of ten neuroses bundled in a sad sack of entitlement. No one should be made to watch over 16 children by themselves!
Definitely NTA. I would 1000% report them to the police for assault on a minor. I am not joking. They are beyond toxic and need to learn how to behave like humans, let alone like adults. The reason they were apologizing and crying is because it dawned on them the incredibly deep trouble they would be in if this were reported as the CRIME IT IS. Do not hesitate. Their behavior, left unchecked, will spiral towards you, others, and even their own children.
What if something happened to one of those 16 kids while she was watching them? Does she have CPR or first aid training? That is a lot for someone without proper training. Teachers do it, but they have been to school and had all of the training for the situation on top of there are other adults around if something happens. Those adults seem disrespectful and mentally abusive. I would keep my distance if I were her. There are other people on this earth. You can create your own family
This is disturbing and the updates make it worse. Okay they all cried it out, fine, but this stuff doesn't just happen in a vacuum. I'd bet good money this isn't the first time the aunt has caused drama. The poster alludes to a past with her. I also don't understand planning a date night on the day of your kids birthday.
The last time I checked, 16 kids constitute a daycare center. Having only one person in charge of that many children (and a minor, at that) is against the law. The consequences for the parents can be dire.
When friends and family want a better deal, counter with "you should compensate me higher than the norm, because we're family"
Honestly, even if watching that many kids alone wasn't a nightmare, "no" is a complete and valid response. OP had no incentive to cancel pre-existing plans (no pay) and good on her for not giving in to their bs
WOW what a sad dysfunctional family. I hope they all get some therapy soon
When OP turns 18, I fully expect them to move out, change their phone number etc., and move far FAR away from their family.
Honey, you deserve so much better than what your "favorite uncles, aunts,etc" are dishing out. Please try to get some distance from these folks. This is borderline abuse.
How funny that this was posted here when all the entitled relatives wanted it taken down. Now even if it's off reddit its on the internet in a whole other way.
The water wasn't malicious? Let.me shoot them in the foot then say "oops, sorry". It was 100% malicious. Not wanting to kill her malicious, but still malicious. And I LOATHE morons like this. You don't wanna bother raising your f*****g kids because plans come up with someone who has a life outside of your pitiful "family"? Don't have f*****g kids. Having children means you NEED to expect plans to fall through each and every time. Kids get sick, they get injured, they have homework, they're supposed to come first. Yet these a******s are treating their kids as accessories and are treating this girl like a coat hanger. They can f**k right off. I hope this girl keeps her boundaries up. If she really wants to keep any kind of relationship with them, it really sounds like she shouldn't keep her back to them, ever.
Why does such a malajusted bunch of self-centered miscreants mean so much to you?
This made me angry and frustrated and I felt for you for the reason of the family was taking advantage of you and expecting you to take care of things they as adults need to learn to do and step up. You did not cause your family anything or put a wedge in anything they did that all by themselves and honestly are awful. The cold water on the face is absolutely horrible and just wrong. It could of cause you so much problems just for their horrible act and what you did not want to watch a bunch of kids guess what you are allowed to make your own decisions and saying no is okay. This c**p about well you are family and family does things for others and because it is family it is free. Ummm no it is not. If this was a job you would get paid and just be ause it is family does not make it right. Oh the uncle you says your like a daughter to him well your not and I am sure he does not ask his daughter to watch all those kids. Just saying and shame on all of them
I wouldn't apologize for a damn thing to nobody if it was my family that's just tough s**t what's your own damn kids I got s**t to do people just think because your family you're just supposed to drop everything and do whatever they ask well that ain't the case.... You shouldn't have had kids if you don't want to watch them
Family are all entitled a**holes. They should be ashamed, they should also all apologize to OP. The sheer lack of consideration or care is astounding.
Why do people in large families think an accident of birth entitles them to exploit younger members of the family? This is just mass-bullying, and I frankly wouldn't watch anyone's kids or participate for awhile given that they're placing the onus of "holding [their] family together" on a 17yo. Maybe I'm projecting, but the adults all sound like they haven't outgrown their keggers years and feel a little too comfortable making older niblings responsible for younger nibs while their off playing Animal House. That's how the adults were in my family, and suddenly some aunties and uncles are wondering why they've never met their in-laws and grandkids.
The family like Kelly are Horrible people… If OP receives any threats from any of the family bullying her I would take screenshots and post them on face book replying to Kellys post about OP also she complained about privacy imagine posting on a Social media Giant where anyone can see it…. :insert hypocrisy gif here:
This family is highly abusive. I’m glad someone has this girl’s back, but honestly I hope she can get away from them. Imagine dumping water on a sleeping person’s face and then saying you did it out of love 🤬
"he stopped to care" no hon' he never cared in the first place, he just pretended because he gained something out of it. You don't stop caring.
They are mad because they're b******t got posted for the world to see, and the fact that they're not going to be able to exploit you anymore. because that's exactly what they were doing, exploiting you. A.k.a. abuse. And I can promise you now; your aunt was not joking. She was dead serious. But she has to claim she was joking to deflect away from herself
I love the suggestion to return the "joke" by pouring ice cold water on aunt and uncle while sleeping.
Whole family 100% deserved to be put on blast. Disgusting behaviour. Glad her mum, sister and grandma have her back.
They never even ASKED you to babysit. 15 kids need 5 babysitters. I am glad you Mom stood up for you.
They never even ASKED you to babysit. I am so glad your Mom came to your rescue and helped you stand up to these people. I am going to guess that the uncle feels you owe them for life for them helping you out. No one person should watch 15 kids. They can hire 4 babysitters next time they want to get drunk down by the river.
The part that bothers me the most is that it sounds like OP is a relative hopper. Apparently she doesn't live with her mother, has lived with an uncle, and now is living with her sister. Talk about dysfunctional.
Literally same abt the family exploiting the teenage cousins for free babysitting. I'm 15 and my sister is 13, and we have an uncle who will just shoves his kids on us. My aunt tries, cause she knows we can't do that all alone and knows we're only teenagers and it's not our job, but even she sometimes will shove the kids on us. I hate going over to their house cause I feel like I always have to watch their kids. My uncle once told my mom that he is literally just using me and my sister as free babysitting. Like bro no. That's not how this works.
We have a rare AH double header - one for irresponsibly forcing one teen to babysit so many children and NO compensation? I wouldn't have done it that's for sure. But the cold water in the face is inexcusable. That's an assault or child abuse charge in some places. Clearly the law needs to get involved here. Possibly even a lawsuit.
Wow! Just surprised how those uncles and aunties thought of her letting her watch 16 kids! As in 16 kids?! Are they out of their mind?! One person versus 16 kids? Even if it's relatives or what, but that's just absurd, crazy doing that. If they meant 1 or 2 kids, maybe it's fine even without some allowances for snacks or little token money, but that's 16 kids, can't imagine how those elders thought what a relative is. Then there's that putting water on you, your elders (uncles and aunties) are really have some issues mentally 😐, is that how they would waking up a person? Of course, not! It's pretty sure they are abusing you and that word "relatives". I just got angry with those elders you have, girl. That's just crazy, 16 kids, my gosh! Even if I'm given an allowances, I won't do it. They have crooked mind really on how they treated you. That's not what family is you know.
They threw ice cold water in her face to wake her up so that they could scream at her for her 'selfish behaviour', oh but it was only a joke and they just want to wake her. Yeah, right. Please, please don't apologise to any of these disgusting people. That will just 'prove' to them that they are right. I wasn't in this situation, thankfully, but I was always the one that had to keep the peace. The other 4 of my siblings were allowed to do and say whatever they wanted and I couldn't defend myself in any way as I wasn't allowed to 'upset' them. I've cut the 2 main instigators of abuse from my life and I am so much happier.
1) Aunt says "we are all going to be together at my kid's party, we should hang out by the creek, [doing what?] and OP will babysit!" All without asking/ informing OP. 2) At the party she sends all the kids to pester OP about "staying the night" and "being part of the sleepover". Aunt is a) not taking responsibility for asking herself and b) not ASKING for child care at all, but trying to disguise it as "staying with your cousin for her birthday". It sounds like the Aunt knew good and well that OP wouldn't be interested, but figured that she could be emotionally blackmailed into doing it. Then, when that didn't work, she tried browbeating her into it. When THAT didn't work, instead of admitting to the family that she had made it all up, she convinced them that it was all OP's fault for being selfish, and an awful person. Aunt sounds like a jewel of a character. I am so proud of OP standing up for herself. Self advocacy is tough to learn.
I learnt the hard way to tell the family off, and stick to it... Don't overextend your welcome by being an AH... It will not fly, family or not. On second thought, especially NOT family... They should know better...
No, is a complete sentence. Setting boundaries and limits are all a part of self love/care. Sadly, I learned that too late in life, but I know it now, and I embrace it. You are not the default child care provider. Especially not for FREE! The "we're FAMILY , you shouldn't expect to be paid", is utter BS. It's manipulative and controlling. Close families dont abuse one another, nor do they take advantage of one another. NTA!!!
Its amazing that this 17 year old woman, that is what she is, stood up to these entitled adult children. Good for her. This will be as asset later in life. She showed she isn't a pushover and can't be walked on. So nta
NTA grownups cN be fools at times. Like this time! 16 kids? You had better cork over some money for that! They showed great disrespect for you and that they didn't think much of you or your time! That tells you right away they were taking you for granted. For the water trick, i have no words! That is just childish, evil and spiteful. Can’t force you to care for their kids for free? They don’t think enough of you to pay you? So they pour water on you? That is abuse and guess what. It is a torture technique used in jails that are not good or legal. So they do this to you? I would never let them get forgiven for this. You can “ forget” but do not forgive. They do not deserve it! It wasn’t a prank or kidding around, it was malicious behavior by adult family members that your mother should’ve reamed them a new one for!!
NTA. People don't like when people outside of their own family see their true colors. People.dont like to see their own reflection and don't like the truth. It sounds like they learned their lesson and that's a good thing. Sometimes you have to expose someone's behavior for them to see the truth and make a change.
This is a flat out abusive situation. What kind of parents bail on their own kid's birthday party for a date night?? The other parents are expecting that party to be responsibly supervised (not a dig at OP). Second, the family is emotional and, apparently, physically abusive and manipulative. And I have to point out another red flag that something ain't right- why all the moving and living with different people? OP is still a minor- what is going on here?? I am seriously not THAT person, but this sounds like CPS needs to be called. This whole thing is NOT OK!
Cont. Don't make excuses for your abusers. If they were just trying to wake you up, they could have gently nudged you. And waking someone up just to yell at them is unacceptable no matter how they did it. That is still abusive. Emotional abuse is still abuse and you should not allow it. It is not okay for anyone to emotionally abuse you, especially family.
I'm sorry but all of this is a form of emotional abuse. Especially the part where they are threatening you for posting this and not taking it down. Abusers don't want you bringing attention to their abuse. If I were you, I would put as much distance between you and them as possible. I would not agree to watch their children even for money. Just because they are family, it doesn't mean they are good people and it definitely doesn't mean they have to be part of your life. You said Chris is your favorite uncle and he was there for you but you also said that while living with him, he took advantage of you by dropping his kids on you and taking off. It sounds to me like he only let you stay for free child care. That is far from a selfless act. Sit down and think about it. If your friend came to you and told you that her family were doing these things to her, how would you respond? Then take your own advice. This kind of manipulation is completely unacceptable and abusive.
Yes my blood is absolutely boiling! They chose to have children, not OP. The b***h had no right whatsoever throwing water on her! That was definitely NOT just a joke!
Wickedsoul34, no OPs mother does not suck! She stood by OP. The rest of the adults suck a*s. Don't be all inclusive!
There's a lot unsaid here. OP isn't living with her mother, she's lived with at least two relatives. Two of these relatives poured cold water to wake her up and said it was a joke. Got to be way more to this story. A seventeen year old babysitting sixteen children for free because it's FAMILY! This family is toxic.
I would have done the same thing. I don't work free, I don't work under threats either.
Your family was wrong in two ways. 1) they should have asked up front and discussed payment.. Arranged for another cousin to help and be paid as well. 2) make sure that your not breaking any state laws by babysitting that many young children. You and them could be held criminally liable if something happened to one of the children.
Yes is yes, no is no. When you have kids they are your responsibility so plan ahead tripple check. Poor girl got swatted and tortured without a warrant (her parent). My semi-bad advice for underage slaves, call police on yourself (situation varies).
You sound like the most mature person in the whole darn family. "Family" does not mean being treated like nanny with no pay. Next time, get paid every single time!. 16 kids is like being a teacher at a one room school out in he middle of nowhere. And don't say "yes" every time. I found myself really pissed for you.
You're NAH at all, but your aunts, uncles and the cousins who lied on you all are. They are abusive and toxic and have no respect for you at all. They only wanted to use you to babysit their kids without any compensation which is wrong and unfair. The aunt and uncle who threw ice water in your face to wake you up the next day need to be reported to DHR because what they did was abuse. Prisoners are treated like that by abusive guards. When they said it was meant as a joke and they didn't mean any harm they lied. They planned to hurt you. When they all yelled at you they were also wrong. You were right to seek outside advice. They only called the family meeting to save face and to make you feel bad. They have no right to yell at you or tell you to remove what you wrote when you didn't do anything wrong, they only want to keep from being criticized. You care more about them then they care about you, can you cut them out of your life? I would seriously consider doing that.
It seems like the aunts were probably babysitters as teenagers and so we're the grandmas and great aunts and so they expect the same from the subsequent generations. But it throwing cold water when a kid is sleeping sounds like a childish prank and not something an adult would do. (I've heard of parents who do it with teenagers on drugs.)
OK yes, you've been offering your time and free services for a long time now. However, having the responsibility by yourself to watch 16 kids even if it's a birthday party and I'm sure you know most of them or some of them well enough to know their behaviors, buy no decent parent in their right mind should ever give the responsibility of more than 2-3 children to care for especially all day when there going to be on a sugar high. Have you take CPR classes or know what to do if one of them is choking? How about if they fall and hit their head, ot or become unconscious. There should be at least two responsible adults with you for that type of situation. I remember when I was 12-13 and a neighbor paid me $20 to watch her 3 Boyd for a few hours. She had a.n infant, 3yr old and a 5yr. Old nothing happened but I look back now and think what we're they thinking?
Oh, also, I just noticed that her aunt and uncle apologized for being entitled about the babysitting, but did they acknowledge that throwing water in someone's face and then screaming at them for hours is NEVER acceptable and no one EVER deserves it no matter WHAT they did? I bet those a******s are treating their own kids that way, what a way to turn innocent kids into depressed or abusive adults.
I feel sorry 4 this girl. She is not an employee. I would've called CPS on those so called adults. This 17 yr old does not deserve 2 b abused. The aunt pouring water on her, the aunt & her husband could b arrested 4 assault. I wonder if they could b arrested 4 endangering the welfare of a minor? Hmmm....... I think the 17 yr old should have nothing 2 do with them & cut them off completely. She deserves piece of mind, not stress & anxiety.
Lol my Mom used to use a spray bottle of water when everything else failed to wake up for school, when I was in high school, BUT, only when loud music, talking loudly, turning off my fan, flashing my bedroom light, etc didn't work for several attempts lol..But I in my individual case, it was def a last resort, and only because I slept like I'd been dead for a year.And it was just a light mist not a bunch of actual water lol.I guess I was like our cat when he or she was being trained.But my Mom would've told any family treating me that badly to f off. My Mom was kind and fairly patient.Lol she had no clue I'd pretend to be asleep while listening to my fav bands with a radio hidden under my pillow very stealthy and ninja radio style.. lol now I'm a guitarist for a living so I guess that's why I'm still not a morning person.But, my Mom taught me well, manners, respect and treating others kindly as much as possible, but she taught me and my brother to be kind yet still stand firm for you😉
Late to chime in, but maybe someone will see this. Has anyone else noticed how many people have these confrontations and then their phone blows up with calls and texts from family and "friends " screaming, threatening, and other OTT behavior. Does this really happen??? It's NEVER happened to me or anyone I know but it does to about half the other people in the world, it seems.
Youre correct. It doesnt happen like this. This bullsh!t is made up for internet clicks. The number of people that react to it like it's real is astonishing.
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You'd be surprised how f****d up families can be behind closed doors. No one believes it until someone from that family opens up and reveals the truth for everyone and, of course, there will be people like you who "don't believe them" because it sounds too bad to be true. I come from a family that caused me to have a f****d up childhood and now I am riddled with trauma from my past. And if I told you the things I have gone through you would also probably think I was lying.
Load More Replies... I'm so upset I can barely articulate it properly. Expletives keep getting in the way.
Load More Replies... The family wasn't just wrong but terribly, terribly wrong. Wrong enough to justify never speaking to them again. I used to be a preschool teacher and we did sleepovers once a year - even with decades experience working with kids, I wouldn't have done a sleep over with so many by myself. Aunt pouring water over would probably classed as assault in most places, there's no "joke" there and claiming that after such a major row is absurd. Above all, the absolute entitlement of that family is stunning. I don't know what I'd have done in her shoes as a teen but I do know what I'd have done as her mother: The only contact the family would be having with her is to make a groveling apology.
She only claimed it as a joke to try n get outta trouble
Load More Replies... In many countries it's illegal to leave 16 kids with one not even legal adult. If something happened to any of the kids their parents would still be liable.
In the US, the accepted adult-to-child ratio for professional child day care used to be 5to1. (I don't remember the $ aspect). Family was clearly taking advantage of the girl (no one would have asked a boy to do this.) Proud of OP for sticking up for herself and hope the arrangement suits her. (Or she can read the other article about getting high before being saddled with babysitting duties. Lol. Kinda.)
Load More Replies... Omg.... that poor girl. They're only sorry bc they were called out on social media and are now getting their a$$es handed to them. They aren't sorry for how they treated her, they're sorry bc everyone else found out. I hope they realize that once she turns 18, she can legally LEAVE and go anywhere she wants and they may not ever hear from her again. F this "family"; they're only sorry bc they got caught
Right?! I hate to admit it, but I wish I had reddit to tell on my family and their awful ways when I was that young. In fact, I hope more folks tell on their abusive families on Reddit. Maybe a cyber 'tar and feather' will encourage more families to stop exploiting the younger members.
Load More Replies... This family is unbelievably toxic. Bullying, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, triangulating. This story has it all!
The worst part is their gaslighting mostly worked.
Load More Replies... I'd have attacked that bïtch who dropped cold water on OP sleeping ASAP if that was me - even before knowing who it is, if you're gonna assault me in bed I'll punch your nose backwards through your skull. NTA
Lol yes! Always choose violence against asshatfuckers
Load More Replies... ......this is just horrendous. Remember that 'Cutting out all the toxic people in your life' also stretches to family, not just friends. It seems like crocodile tears were used by your family too and they'll probably 'forget' this my the end of the month and just carry on using you. Run....RUUUN FOR THEE HILLS! (Also kudos to your mam and sister for sticking up for ya)
Your whole family sucks period.. who throws ice water on a kid to wake them up? Sounds like the adults are the children.. no wonder they demand free help. Perfect example of how not everyone should have children.
I'm sorry ur awful auntie poured water on u. U seem like such a lovely girl. Glad u stood up to them xx
It's hard enough to take care of one child, 16 of them is not a job for a single person.
Especially not when they're all wired up on cake and ice cream. This whole scenario is nightmare fuel.
Load More Replies... I know the OP of this has little to no chance of ever reading this but I can still hope: You're not indebted to your family because occasionally they're nice to you. Being nice to you and all of the children is supposed to the THEIR jobs, not yours. I was regularly used to watch all of my younger cousins, unpaid, for years. Don't. Do. It. As soon as you refuse to be taken advantage of they WILL turn on you. You're not going to like what I'm about to say, but, YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY. Like college or moving at LEAST one, preferably two, hours away. I have a bad feeling you're going to find out just as fast as I did when I left my abusive family at 17 that once you're no longer usable they're going to exit your life. Don't cling to people who are only going to use you and then gas light you because you're used to being abandoned. Get away now, and allow them to show you who actually gives a shït about you by showing up when they don't need you for something.
For anybody wondering, 12. 12 cousins, all the way from 8 years to 3 months. I was EXPECTED to watch them, alone, sometimes for multiple days at 10-14 years old. Yes, it was a nightmare. "So why'd you do it?" I wouldn't get fed otherwise. Yes, really. So, I can absolutely empathize with this OP. Run, don't walk away. Sometimes "family" is just a phrase to use against you.
Load More Replies... NTA - you are 17! Never let anyone else determine your worth or guilt you into "family responsibility" like babysitting 10+ kids for zero money. You had (and still have) EVERY RIGHT to say NO. Even if they offered payment, your time and your plans are important. Being 17 and free from adult responsibilities should lead to scary movie nights with friends not babysitting sleep overs so "adults" can have "date night". Their lack of planning AND inconsiderate attitudes are not your responsibility. Also, posting online seemed to be the only way to be heard by your family, so good for you!
What this family is doing to this kid is SOOOO WRONG in so many levels I'm having a hard time...
Wow! The water of the face is literally a slap to the face! Op they don't care about you they just wanted the free child care! They knew Damn well that wasn't a joke and are only saying that because they got called out! Op run far away!! Or set boundaries and don't let them break them!
NTA! 16 kids? No way in h**l! That is a lot of kids! And they didn't even ask her! The water in her face while she was sleeping? So wrong. What a f***ed up family! I'm glad they got called out on their BS! Good for you!
Your entire family is toxic as fk. Also report your aunt and uncle for assault!
Not bloody assault! It’s cruel and unfunny but a cops going to laugh in your face if you call over that.
Load More Replies... Why is she feeling bad about refusing to do what these morons want? Even as a 17 year old they had no right to treat her that way. I would've told them to screw themselves and my parents would've backed me up.
NTA! 1. They tried to p**n 16 kids not yours n not direct blood related (cousin n friends of them) on you by also lying to others that you said its ok. 2. they poured water on you to yell at you for not giving up your night so they could have their own 3. They got mad you wanted payment for tht amount of work 4. They THEN proceed to GASLIGHT you and play "im so sorry" and "it was a joke" once outted Do not feel bad over ppl who take you for granted abuse you mental/emotional and take advantage of your kindness
Also hate me for this but im on the belief that if YOU have kids you acknowledge you ARE going to be giving up YOUR freedom.
Load More Replies... I'm curious to know why this girl doesn't live with her mom-that she lived with her aunt and uncle for months, is now living with her older sister, but her mom is able to rush over and defend her (thank goodness!!!) when this dumpster fire pathetic excuse for a family gangs up on her child!!! Not judging the mom, just wondering about the circumstances. I don't doubt the story at all. Too many parents these days seem to think that just because they have children doesn't mean they're actually required to raise them and do the work themselves, that it's perfectly legit to p**n them off on whomever they can for as little compensation as possible. If you don't want to spend time with your brat, what makes you think anyone else does either?? Teenagers are not built-in babysitters. And people wonder why couples are choosing to be childless these days...
I was wondering the same thing. Why doesn't she live with her mom
Load More Replies... I've cut ties with about 90% of my family because they're alcoholics, drug addicts, gambling addicts (and thus "I need money for rent, please), and, worst of all, narcissists. Family means nothing. So when I get told "family business is private business", my response is always "family means nothing to me, so f*ck right off. I'll post what I want. Don't like it? Leave me alone."
What in the barefoot assed, take me home country roads, school bus living, family tree with no branches s**t did I just read?
Who goes out on the night of their own child's birthday? Like, they have to be such drunk a******s that they cannot socialize around the kids? Are they smoking meth? Like really why the you throw a party for the Express purpose of abandoning your kids? Sure it's one thing to get a night off when other people throw kids vday parties, but if you are the parent throwing it I would expect you to be there the entire time.
I might be able to help here. I come from a very large family. My mother was the oldest of twelve. I am the oldest grandson and my sister is the oldest granddaughter. I am 61 years old now, and my sister is 62. Family gatherings were almost weekly. When I was16 , I had 24 cousins. I fully understand how aunts and uncles can turn what seems to a normal situation where the oldest just naturally look after the youngest. And how overlooking the level of responsibility and expectations the are assuming. I suspect the plans were made all around you without including you and a parent spoke on your behalf confirming you availability. That is where you need to focus. Find out which of your parents spoke out of turn. It is up to that person to apologize to EVERYONE. Furthermore, they have to consider that you may want to included in the adult plans. Time to realize that you aren't eating at the kids table anymore. Move over adults. Make room for 1 more.
Her parents aren't in the picture for this story so it was an aunt that volunteered her which is worse.
Load More Replies... Abuse and Parentification run rampit in that dysfunctional family. Moms around but she lived with relatives and now sister. They dump 16 kids for one 17 year old to babysit. Call CPS STAT!!!
It sounds like a family full of child abusers. Poor OP, get away asap!
What a bunch of complete psychos. Imagine accusing a teenager, that those selfish bastards are trying to dump 16 kids on, of her "bailing" on the kids. What a bunch of spoiled morons! And to play the victims afterwards? So incredibly and completely insane.
I can understand if family is ok with a teen watching their young kids overnight but I have to wonder if the parent's of this birthday girl's friends were aware a teen would be the only supervision. I personally, would not be ok with just a single teen watching my child during a sleepover over if it was my family. I absolutely would not allow my child to attend a sleepover at a friend's with no adult supervision. That is a lot for an adult couple to keep so many young kids overnight. It is simply unimaginable to think of a teen being left alone overnight with 15 young kids. Imagine what can go wrong in that scenario. Absolutely too much responsibility to even consider requesting of a teenager.
Once 18, this girl needs to move far, far away and rid herself of these horrible people.
I owned a family daycare. I got paid. It is very physically and emotionally wearing to do a good job of caring for many children at the same time. You should be paid. You love these children and their parents love you. What's the problem with you getting some money for it to put aside for your future? If they love you? They want to help you prepare for your future!
It's only a joke if the victim is laughing too. OP is almost a legal adult. Here's hoping they get to go to college, and do so far enough away to see how normal people treat each other.
This post made me physically sick to my stomach. Its a case study in gaslighting, child abuse, manipulation, entitlement and TOXIC "family matters" thinking. The kind of people who scream at a 17 year old for not being at their beck and call for service, throw water in their face and assault them. Are the EXACT same people that dont say anything because that one uncle molests all the little girls in the family and cover it up. Its toxic to its core. The deserve the public shame. And much MUCH more. Also dont fall for their tears. All those crocodile tears are purely for their own benefit and because they got found out. "Ice water on the face is a joke" go f yourslef with that lie. And made me so so sade the OP was believing it.
I hope someone pointed out to OP that the way the Aunt and U cle cried and apologized and told her they value her is just part of the abuse cycle. They'll be repeating the toxicity and disrespect again in no time. Fortunately, OP did the smartest thing she could by saying that if their bad behavior continues, she'll disown them when she turns 18. Nothing else will motivate them to change, and if they still don't change, she can cut them out. I just hope they don't keep stringing her along with the cycle of acting s****y and then acting sorry.
Parents of this teen had every right to call the police on aunt and uncle who splash their kid with cold water. What kind of behavior is that? Are they adults or is something wrong with them mentally? You should let your post circulate the net for eternity and you should have write the real names of those shameless people (aunt and uncle) so everyone could despise them like they deserved! Gosh, I'm so, soo angry 😡
The OP needs to put some boundaries out there with her family. And I'd still call the social worker on the pair who dumped water on her. Those 2 have some issues. If they have kids of their own, someone needs to keep an eye on them.
She's young and hasn't seen the world which is why she feels like this is a family instead of ten neuroses bundled in a sad sack of entitlement. No one should be made to watch over 16 children by themselves!
Definitely NTA. I would 1000% report them to the police for assault on a minor. I am not joking. They are beyond toxic and need to learn how to behave like humans, let alone like adults. The reason they were apologizing and crying is because it dawned on them the incredibly deep trouble they would be in if this were reported as the CRIME IT IS. Do not hesitate. Their behavior, left unchecked, will spiral towards you, others, and even their own children.
What if something happened to one of those 16 kids while she was watching them? Does she have CPR or first aid training? That is a lot for someone without proper training. Teachers do it, but they have been to school and had all of the training for the situation on top of there are other adults around if something happens. Those adults seem disrespectful and mentally abusive. I would keep my distance if I were her. There are other people on this earth. You can create your own family
This is disturbing and the updates make it worse. Okay they all cried it out, fine, but this stuff doesn't just happen in a vacuum. I'd bet good money this isn't the first time the aunt has caused drama. The poster alludes to a past with her. I also don't understand planning a date night on the day of your kids birthday.
The last time I checked, 16 kids constitute a daycare center. Having only one person in charge of that many children (and a minor, at that) is against the law. The consequences for the parents can be dire.
When friends and family want a better deal, counter with "you should compensate me higher than the norm, because we're family"
Honestly, even if watching that many kids alone wasn't a nightmare, "no" is a complete and valid response. OP had no incentive to cancel pre-existing plans (no pay) and good on her for not giving in to their bs
WOW what a sad dysfunctional family. I hope they all get some therapy soon
When OP turns 18, I fully expect them to move out, change their phone number etc., and move far FAR away from their family.
Honey, you deserve so much better than what your "favorite uncles, aunts,etc" are dishing out. Please try to get some distance from these folks. This is borderline abuse.
How funny that this was posted here when all the entitled relatives wanted it taken down. Now even if it's off reddit its on the internet in a whole other way.
The water wasn't malicious? Let.me shoot them in the foot then say "oops, sorry". It was 100% malicious. Not wanting to kill her malicious, but still malicious. And I LOATHE morons like this. You don't wanna bother raising your f*****g kids because plans come up with someone who has a life outside of your pitiful "family"? Don't have f*****g kids. Having children means you NEED to expect plans to fall through each and every time. Kids get sick, they get injured, they have homework, they're supposed to come first. Yet these a******s are treating their kids as accessories and are treating this girl like a coat hanger. They can f**k right off. I hope this girl keeps her boundaries up. If she really wants to keep any kind of relationship with them, it really sounds like she shouldn't keep her back to them, ever.
Why does such a malajusted bunch of self-centered miscreants mean so much to you?
This made me angry and frustrated and I felt for you for the reason of the family was taking advantage of you and expecting you to take care of things they as adults need to learn to do and step up. You did not cause your family anything or put a wedge in anything they did that all by themselves and honestly are awful. The cold water on the face is absolutely horrible and just wrong. It could of cause you so much problems just for their horrible act and what you did not want to watch a bunch of kids guess what you are allowed to make your own decisions and saying no is okay. This c**p about well you are family and family does things for others and because it is family it is free. Ummm no it is not. If this was a job you would get paid and just be ause it is family does not make it right. Oh the uncle you says your like a daughter to him well your not and I am sure he does not ask his daughter to watch all those kids. Just saying and shame on all of them
I wouldn't apologize for a damn thing to nobody if it was my family that's just tough s**t what's your own damn kids I got s**t to do people just think because your family you're just supposed to drop everything and do whatever they ask well that ain't the case.... You shouldn't have had kids if you don't want to watch them
Family are all entitled a**holes. They should be ashamed, they should also all apologize to OP. The sheer lack of consideration or care is astounding.
Why do people in large families think an accident of birth entitles them to exploit younger members of the family? This is just mass-bullying, and I frankly wouldn't watch anyone's kids or participate for awhile given that they're placing the onus of "holding [their] family together" on a 17yo. Maybe I'm projecting, but the adults all sound like they haven't outgrown their keggers years and feel a little too comfortable making older niblings responsible for younger nibs while their off playing Animal House. That's how the adults were in my family, and suddenly some aunties and uncles are wondering why they've never met their in-laws and grandkids.
The family like Kelly are Horrible people… If OP receives any threats from any of the family bullying her I would take screenshots and post them on face book replying to Kellys post about OP also she complained about privacy imagine posting on a Social media Giant where anyone can see it…. :insert hypocrisy gif here:
This family is highly abusive. I’m glad someone has this girl’s back, but honestly I hope she can get away from them. Imagine dumping water on a sleeping person’s face and then saying you did it out of love 🤬
"he stopped to care" no hon' he never cared in the first place, he just pretended because he gained something out of it. You don't stop caring.
They are mad because they're b******t got posted for the world to see, and the fact that they're not going to be able to exploit you anymore. because that's exactly what they were doing, exploiting you. A.k.a. abuse. And I can promise you now; your aunt was not joking. She was dead serious. But she has to claim she was joking to deflect away from herself
I love the suggestion to return the "joke" by pouring ice cold water on aunt and uncle while sleeping.
Whole family 100% deserved to be put on blast. Disgusting behaviour. Glad her mum, sister and grandma have her back.
They never even ASKED you to babysit. 15 kids need 5 babysitters. I am glad you Mom stood up for you.
They never even ASKED you to babysit. I am so glad your Mom came to your rescue and helped you stand up to these people. I am going to guess that the uncle feels you owe them for life for them helping you out. No one person should watch 15 kids. They can hire 4 babysitters next time they want to get drunk down by the river.
The part that bothers me the most is that it sounds like OP is a relative hopper. Apparently she doesn't live with her mother, has lived with an uncle, and now is living with her sister. Talk about dysfunctional.
Literally same abt the family exploiting the teenage cousins for free babysitting. I'm 15 and my sister is 13, and we have an uncle who will just shoves his kids on us. My aunt tries, cause she knows we can't do that all alone and knows we're only teenagers and it's not our job, but even she sometimes will shove the kids on us. I hate going over to their house cause I feel like I always have to watch their kids. My uncle once told my mom that he is literally just using me and my sister as free babysitting. Like bro no. That's not how this works.
We have a rare AH double header - one for irresponsibly forcing one teen to babysit so many children and NO compensation? I wouldn't have done it that's for sure. But the cold water in the face is inexcusable. That's an assault or child abuse charge in some places. Clearly the law needs to get involved here. Possibly even a lawsuit.
Wow! Just surprised how those uncles and aunties thought of her letting her watch 16 kids! As in 16 kids?! Are they out of their mind?! One person versus 16 kids? Even if it's relatives or what, but that's just absurd, crazy doing that. If they meant 1 or 2 kids, maybe it's fine even without some allowances for snacks or little token money, but that's 16 kids, can't imagine how those elders thought what a relative is. Then there's that putting water on you, your elders (uncles and aunties) are really have some issues mentally 😐, is that how they would waking up a person? Of course, not! It's pretty sure they are abusing you and that word "relatives". I just got angry with those elders you have, girl. That's just crazy, 16 kids, my gosh! Even if I'm given an allowances, I won't do it. They have crooked mind really on how they treated you. That's not what family is you know.
They threw ice cold water in her face to wake her up so that they could scream at her for her 'selfish behaviour', oh but it was only a joke and they just want to wake her. Yeah, right. Please, please don't apologise to any of these disgusting people. That will just 'prove' to them that they are right. I wasn't in this situation, thankfully, but I was always the one that had to keep the peace. The other 4 of my siblings were allowed to do and say whatever they wanted and I couldn't defend myself in any way as I wasn't allowed to 'upset' them. I've cut the 2 main instigators of abuse from my life and I am so much happier.
1) Aunt says "we are all going to be together at my kid's party, we should hang out by the creek, [doing what?] and OP will babysit!" All without asking/ informing OP. 2) At the party she sends all the kids to pester OP about "staying the night" and "being part of the sleepover". Aunt is a) not taking responsibility for asking herself and b) not ASKING for child care at all, but trying to disguise it as "staying with your cousin for her birthday". It sounds like the Aunt knew good and well that OP wouldn't be interested, but figured that she could be emotionally blackmailed into doing it. Then, when that didn't work, she tried browbeating her into it. When THAT didn't work, instead of admitting to the family that she had made it all up, she convinced them that it was all OP's fault for being selfish, and an awful person. Aunt sounds like a jewel of a character. I am so proud of OP standing up for herself. Self advocacy is tough to learn.
I learnt the hard way to tell the family off, and stick to it... Don't overextend your welcome by being an AH... It will not fly, family or not. On second thought, especially NOT family... They should know better...
No, is a complete sentence. Setting boundaries and limits are all a part of self love/care. Sadly, I learned that too late in life, but I know it now, and I embrace it. You are not the default child care provider. Especially not for FREE! The "we're FAMILY , you shouldn't expect to be paid", is utter BS. It's manipulative and controlling. Close families dont abuse one another, nor do they take advantage of one another. NTA!!!
Its amazing that this 17 year old woman, that is what she is, stood up to these entitled adult children. Good for her. This will be as asset later in life. She showed she isn't a pushover and can't be walked on. So nta
NTA grownups cN be fools at times. Like this time! 16 kids? You had better cork over some money for that! They showed great disrespect for you and that they didn't think much of you or your time! That tells you right away they were taking you for granted. For the water trick, i have no words! That is just childish, evil and spiteful. Can’t force you to care for their kids for free? They don’t think enough of you to pay you? So they pour water on you? That is abuse and guess what. It is a torture technique used in jails that are not good or legal. So they do this to you? I would never let them get forgiven for this. You can “ forget” but do not forgive. They do not deserve it! It wasn’t a prank or kidding around, it was malicious behavior by adult family members that your mother should’ve reamed them a new one for!!
NTA. People don't like when people outside of their own family see their true colors. People.dont like to see their own reflection and don't like the truth. It sounds like they learned their lesson and that's a good thing. Sometimes you have to expose someone's behavior for them to see the truth and make a change.
This is a flat out abusive situation. What kind of parents bail on their own kid's birthday party for a date night?? The other parents are expecting that party to be responsibly supervised (not a dig at OP). Second, the family is emotional and, apparently, physically abusive and manipulative. And I have to point out another red flag that something ain't right- why all the moving and living with different people? OP is still a minor- what is going on here?? I am seriously not THAT person, but this sounds like CPS needs to be called. This whole thing is NOT OK!
Cont. Don't make excuses for your abusers. If they were just trying to wake you up, they could have gently nudged you. And waking someone up just to yell at them is unacceptable no matter how they did it. That is still abusive. Emotional abuse is still abuse and you should not allow it. It is not okay for anyone to emotionally abuse you, especially family.
I'm sorry but all of this is a form of emotional abuse. Especially the part where they are threatening you for posting this and not taking it down. Abusers don't want you bringing attention to their abuse. If I were you, I would put as much distance between you and them as possible. I would not agree to watch their children even for money. Just because they are family, it doesn't mean they are good people and it definitely doesn't mean they have to be part of your life. You said Chris is your favorite uncle and he was there for you but you also said that while living with him, he took advantage of you by dropping his kids on you and taking off. It sounds to me like he only let you stay for free child care. That is far from a selfless act. Sit down and think about it. If your friend came to you and told you that her family were doing these things to her, how would you respond? Then take your own advice. This kind of manipulation is completely unacceptable and abusive.
Yes my blood is absolutely boiling! They chose to have children, not OP. The b***h had no right whatsoever throwing water on her! That was definitely NOT just a joke!
Wickedsoul34, no OPs mother does not suck! She stood by OP. The rest of the adults suck a*s. Don't be all inclusive!
There's a lot unsaid here. OP isn't living with her mother, she's lived with at least two relatives. Two of these relatives poured cold water to wake her up and said it was a joke. Got to be way more to this story. A seventeen year old babysitting sixteen children for free because it's FAMILY! This family is toxic.
I would have done the same thing. I don't work free, I don't work under threats either.
Your family was wrong in two ways. 1) they should have asked up front and discussed payment.. Arranged for another cousin to help and be paid as well. 2) make sure that your not breaking any state laws by babysitting that many young children. You and them could be held criminally liable if something happened to one of the children.
Yes is yes, no is no. When you have kids they are your responsibility so plan ahead tripple check. Poor girl got swatted and tortured without a warrant (her parent). My semi-bad advice for underage slaves, call police on yourself (situation varies).
You sound like the most mature person in the whole darn family. "Family" does not mean being treated like nanny with no pay. Next time, get paid every single time!. 16 kids is like being a teacher at a one room school out in he middle of nowhere. And don't say "yes" every time. I found myself really pissed for you.
You're NAH at all, but your aunts, uncles and the cousins who lied on you all are. They are abusive and toxic and have no respect for you at all. They only wanted to use you to babysit their kids without any compensation which is wrong and unfair. The aunt and uncle who threw ice water in your face to wake you up the next day need to be reported to DHR because what they did was abuse. Prisoners are treated like that by abusive guards. When they said it was meant as a joke and they didn't mean any harm they lied. They planned to hurt you. When they all yelled at you they were also wrong. You were right to seek outside advice. They only called the family meeting to save face and to make you feel bad. They have no right to yell at you or tell you to remove what you wrote when you didn't do anything wrong, they only want to keep from being criticized. You care more about them then they care about you, can you cut them out of your life? I would seriously consider doing that.
It seems like the aunts were probably babysitters as teenagers and so we're the grandmas and great aunts and so they expect the same from the subsequent generations. But it throwing cold water when a kid is sleeping sounds like a childish prank and not something an adult would do. (I've heard of parents who do it with teenagers on drugs.)
OK yes, you've been offering your time and free services for a long time now. However, having the responsibility by yourself to watch 16 kids even if it's a birthday party and I'm sure you know most of them or some of them well enough to know their behaviors, buy no decent parent in their right mind should ever give the responsibility of more than 2-3 children to care for especially all day when there going to be on a sugar high. Have you take CPR classes or know what to do if one of them is choking? How about if they fall and hit their head, ot or become unconscious. There should be at least two responsible adults with you for that type of situation. I remember when I was 12-13 and a neighbor paid me $20 to watch her 3 Boyd for a few hours. She had a.n infant, 3yr old and a 5yr. Old nothing happened but I look back now and think what we're they thinking?
Oh, also, I just noticed that her aunt and uncle apologized for being entitled about the babysitting, but did they acknowledge that throwing water in someone's face and then screaming at them for hours is NEVER acceptable and no one EVER deserves it no matter WHAT they did? I bet those a******s are treating their own kids that way, what a way to turn innocent kids into depressed or abusive adults.
I feel sorry 4 this girl. She is not an employee. I would've called CPS on those so called adults. This 17 yr old does not deserve 2 b abused. The aunt pouring water on her, the aunt & her husband could b arrested 4 assault. I wonder if they could b arrested 4 endangering the welfare of a minor? Hmmm....... I think the 17 yr old should have nothing 2 do with them & cut them off completely. She deserves piece of mind, not stress & anxiety.
Lol my Mom used to use a spray bottle of water when everything else failed to wake up for school, when I was in high school, BUT, only when loud music, talking loudly, turning off my fan, flashing my bedroom light, etc didn't work for several attempts lol..But I in my individual case, it was def a last resort, and only because I slept like I'd been dead for a year.And it was just a light mist not a bunch of actual water lol.I guess I was like our cat when he or she was being trained.But my Mom would've told any family treating me that badly to f off. My Mom was kind and fairly patient.Lol she had no clue I'd pretend to be asleep while listening to my fav bands with a radio hidden under my pillow very stealthy and ninja radio style.. lol now I'm a guitarist for a living so I guess that's why I'm still not a morning person.But, my Mom taught me well, manners, respect and treating others kindly as much as possible, but she taught me and my brother to be kind yet still stand firm for you😉
Late to chime in, but maybe someone will see this. Has anyone else noticed how many people have these confrontations and then their phone blows up with calls and texts from family and "friends " screaming, threatening, and other OTT behavior. Does this really happen??? It's NEVER happened to me or anyone I know but it does to about half the other people in the world, it seems.
Youre correct. It doesnt happen like this. This bullsh!t is made up for internet clicks. The number of people that react to it like it's real is astonishing.
Load More Replies... You'd be surprised how f****d up families can be behind closed doors. No one believes it until someone from that family opens up and reveals the truth for everyone and, of course, there will be people like you who "don't believe them" because it sounds too bad to be true. I come from a family that caused me to have a f****d up childhood and now I am riddled with trauma from my past. And if I told you the things I have gone through you would also probably think I was lying.
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