After Talking To My Wife About Parenthood, I Started Taking My Son To Work And It Saved Our Family
I love my job, I really do. I love it so much that I can work even on weekends. And if I had to go on a break between two projects, I used to get tormented by idleness and would come up with urgent errands all the time. That was fine with me until my son was born.
Each month he grew older and my wife grew more and more tired. She begged me to stay home at least on the weekends. And I found myself thinking “why should I stay at home? How can she be tired? She is at home with the baby, who only crawls and smiles.” So nothing changed. My son grew up, and I worked a lot as usual. One year passed by, another one as well.
Then a conversation with my wife took place, which completely changed my perspective on the fatherhood. I have always thought that my son is still little; he doesn’t understand and remember anything. I believed that I would play with him more when he would become older when I would have plenty of a free time when we would have more things to talk about.
Suddenly I’ve realized that this “when” will never happen. This ‘when” would never come. I’ve come to the conclusion that I always put my family members on the second place and my work, which I love, takes all my attention and time. If I can’t find an hour to play or go for a walk with my son now, where are the guarantees that I will find the time later and whether my family will still need that at all? I’ve realized, that my son needs me now. I don’t need to stop working completely and stay home to dedicate myself to my son’s upbringing. An hour a day, which we spend together, would be enough. We cook together, go for walks and watch cartoons.
I also started to take him with me and show him what I do and how I work and I enjoy it tremendously! He is very interested in my tools, paints, pencils, bricks, mosaics, and wood. I don’t take him with me for the full working day – he is still little, and half an hour is quite enough, but it has made us closer to each other. I don’t know whether he will remember how he visited my workshop, but he will remember that he was important to me.
I would like to tell other fathers as well – take your children with you. It seems annoying at first, but the more time you spend together – more jokes and memories will appear, which only two of you will understand. Let the children grow up with you and not with babysitters or TVs. I think it is where the friendship between a father and a son starts, and also the trust, which will lead him to you when he will go through hardships of teenage years, and not to a bad company. You should invest not in toys, rather into happy memories; it is the same investment as a career and personal relationships.
Love your children and enjoy time with them today and not “tomorrow”.
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I love my job, I really do. I love it so much that I can work even on weekends. That was fine with me until my son was born
Each month He grew up older and my wife grew more and more tired. She begged me to stay home at least on the weekends
I found myself thinking “why should I stay at home? How can she be tired? She is at home with the baby, who only crawls and smiles”
So nothing changed. My son grew up, and I worked a lot as usual
Then a conversation with my wife took place, which completely changed my perspective on the fatherhood
I have always thought that my son is still little; he doesn’t understand and remember anything
After the talk I’ve come to the conclusion that I always put my family members on the second place and my work, which I love, takes all my attention and time
If I can’t find an hour to play or go for a walk with my son now, where are the guarantees that I will find the time later and whether my family will still need that at all?
I’ve realized, that my son needs me now
I started to take him with me and show him what I do and how I work and I enjoy it tremendously! He is very interested in my tools, paints, pencils, bricks, mosaics, and wood
I don’t know whether he will remember how he visited my workshop, but he will remember that he was important to me
I would like to tell other fathers as well – take your children with you
Love your children and enjoy time with them today and not “tomorrow”
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I found it interesting that you said you love your work several times, but only mentioned love in connection with your son, not your wife, at the end of the piece. I hope that one day, you put "love" for your wife and son first, and don't need to keep saying "my work, which I love".
I love my wife and my son, and my work. But I lost the balance between family and work at that moment. I try to find it now.
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Your wife's tiredness sounds a lot like depression :( Please be there for her too, not only your son. It can be surprisingly hard to be only with your child at home with no other connections. I agree with others that you should be more at home, even though you love your work.
@Rach - Could not agree more. The wife is doing hard work there, raising children is hard work. I also stumbled over this presumptuous sentence.
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you think you need to work and bring home the money and that you're doing your part, but just being there and being with your family is more important, the memories cannot be bought the bonds, the experience is what they'll remember. the fact he has a creative job that allows for his son to experience too should make his job and his family life blend together so that neither seems like effort and it all just becomes life. I'm glad he found this out now and not when it's too late.
Thank you, my family is more important. I'm glad that I realized this.
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Translation: I was a disrespectful jerk to my wife and son and realized it just in time to save my marriage. The fact that there's only one photo that includes your wife and that you only mention her once and in a negative way tells me that you'd better get a grip there, too.
We are married 12 years, I love my wife. I wrote about my relationship with my son and it was new experience for me.
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My dad now does this with my much younger siblings, he wasn't around for me when I was little (moved to a different country). So I know first hand that what you are doing is definitely going to help your relationship with your boy! However you and my dad seem similar in your dismissive nature towards your wives...looking after a child is the most tiring job anyone can have. They demand your attention 24/7. FYI it doesn't matter that you've been together 12 years, it can still be 12 years with an unsupportive and disrespectful husband. I genuinely hope you seriously up your game as a decent human being. Sorry if that seems harsh to you but I've said the same to my own father and I've seen positive changes. I'm an artist myself, but my family has and always will come first - even my 6 siblings come before me and my work. They are my life and happiness more than anything and they aren't even MY children. I wish you luck on your journey to Beijing a better man, husband and father.
your wife is also an educator to your child, not just a maid that only took care his food, poop, and sleep.
I understand this and I am very grateful to my wife.
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I am happy you have began to realize that your family is important too. It can be hard to find balance between work and family for some people.
That's all good but not everyone has the luck too bring there child too work. But Hey good for you man, i would do the same if i could.
I think it's wonderful that you're working on building/mending relationships with your family. you say you love your wife, and son. that's good. that's really good. it's easy to get lost in work that you love, but now you are working on loving your own family. you're making progress - it's tough going, but well worth it. the best to you, your wife, and your son.
I hope my story will help someone to save his family.
Load More Replies...
I found it interesting that you said you love your work several times, but only mentioned love in connection with your son, not your wife, at the end of the piece. I hope that one day, you put "love" for your wife and son first, and don't need to keep saying "my work, which I love".
I love my wife and my son, and my work. But I lost the balance between family and work at that moment. I try to find it now.
Load More Replies... Your wife's tiredness sounds a lot like depression :( Please be there for her too, not only your son. It can be surprisingly hard to be only with your child at home with no other connections. I agree with others that you should be more at home, even though you love your work.
@Rach - Could not agree more. The wife is doing hard work there, raising children is hard work. I also stumbled over this presumptuous sentence.
Load More Replies... you think you need to work and bring home the money and that you're doing your part, but just being there and being with your family is more important, the memories cannot be bought the bonds, the experience is what they'll remember. the fact he has a creative job that allows for his son to experience too should make his job and his family life blend together so that neither seems like effort and it all just becomes life. I'm glad he found this out now and not when it's too late.
Thank you, my family is more important. I'm glad that I realized this.
Load More Replies... Translation: I was a disrespectful jerk to my wife and son and realized it just in time to save my marriage. The fact that there's only one photo that includes your wife and that you only mention her once and in a negative way tells me that you'd better get a grip there, too.
We are married 12 years, I love my wife. I wrote about my relationship with my son and it was new experience for me.
Load More Replies... My dad now does this with my much younger siblings, he wasn't around for me when I was little (moved to a different country). So I know first hand that what you are doing is definitely going to help your relationship with your boy! However you and my dad seem similar in your dismissive nature towards your wives...looking after a child is the most tiring job anyone can have. They demand your attention 24/7. FYI it doesn't matter that you've been together 12 years, it can still be 12 years with an unsupportive and disrespectful husband. I genuinely hope you seriously up your game as a decent human being. Sorry if that seems harsh to you but I've said the same to my own father and I've seen positive changes. I'm an artist myself, but my family has and always will come first - even my 6 siblings come before me and my work. They are my life and happiness more than anything and they aren't even MY children. I wish you luck on your journey to Beijing a better man, husband and father.
your wife is also an educator to your child, not just a maid that only took care his food, poop, and sleep.
I understand this and I am very grateful to my wife.
Load More Replies... I am happy you have began to realize that your family is important too. It can be hard to find balance between work and family for some people.
That's all good but not everyone has the luck too bring there child too work. But Hey good for you man, i would do the same if i could.
I think it's wonderful that you're working on building/mending relationships with your family. you say you love your wife, and son. that's good. that's really good. it's easy to get lost in work that you love, but now you are working on loving your own family. you're making progress - it's tough going, but well worth it. the best to you, your wife, and your son.
I hope my story will help someone to save his family.
Load More Replies... 
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