We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here.
Chores, errands, and unexpected challenges can quietly erode intimacy, making partners more distant than they were when they exchanged their vows.
One Reddit user recently shared a story on r/AmIOverreacting about a family vacation he will probably remember for the rest of his life.
It was supposed to be a relaxing getaway, but it quickly turned into a hellish ordeal as his wife unleashed years of pent-up frustration, deeply hurting his feelings and leaving him reeling from the intensity of her words—so much so that he asked the internet for advice.
RELATED:
Sometimes, years of compromise give way to frustration and resentment that couples don’t even notice building
Wife and husband sitting on couch with arms crossed, showing tension and resentment during a serious moment.
There’s a paper that helps contextualize this particular case. Psychologist Ashley Ermer and colleagues at Montclair State University examined nearly 1,400 married couples in their fifties to seventies over eight years to see how loneliness shifts within marriage and what factors matter most.
The research showed that the quality of relationships counts more than quantity: a few meaningful connections ease loneliness better than a large network. Friendships, in particular, offered more protection than family ties, since friendships can be chosen rather than endured.
The study also revealed that husbands’ and wives’ loneliness was not strongly correlated and did not necessarily grow more similar with time. Instead, wives’ initial loneliness predicted future loneliness for both partners, suggesting that women often set the emotional tone of the marriage. For husbands, loneliness later in life was linked to marital strain, while wives’ loneliness depended more on how many close friends they had.
Taken together, these findings suggest that men tend to rely more heavily on their wives for social connection, while women can draw resilience from outside friendships.
After his story went viral, the man released an update, answering some of the most frequently asked questions
Text update expressing gratitude to commenters, highlighting wife humiliating husband by unleashing resentment on unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Text discussing a wife humiliating her husband by unleashing years of resentment on a trip he didn’t want to take.
Text excerpt discussing a husband’s anxiety and resentment issues linked to a trip he did not want to take.
Text excerpt showing a person discussing PTSD, anxiety, and regrets including student debt and low teacher income.
ADVERTISEMENT
Mother holding baby outdoors while another woman interacts, capturing moments of family and connection on a reluctant trip.
Psychotherapist Richard B. Joelson says that too many romantic partnerships fail in a way that shocks one (or sometimes both) parties.
According to him, these couples experience ‘death by a thousand cuts,’ meaning major negative changes that happen slowly and in many, often unnoticed increments.
“Retrospective analyses or ‘autopsies’ of relationships in jeopardy or that have failed often reveal what I call ‘erosion of affection,'” Joelson writes.
“When issues between partners are not adequately and amicably resolved and therefore become chronic grievances, the potential for irreparable damage is great. Affection is diminished, and negative perceptions replace whatever positive ones might have previously existed.”
Even if our Redditor and his wife decide to work on their marriage, there are no guarantees they will save it.
“Many couples that eventually seek counseling for their troubled relationship arrive at a therapist’s office when the erosion of affection has caused possibly irreparable damage, thus making the therapeutic enterprise a more complicated, if not doomed, endeavor,” explains Joelson, who has been working as a psychotherapist since 1970.
“It helps if both partners have or can be helped to have sufficient reflective awareness to acknowledge responsibility for the now troubled union and be willing to do the necessary work of restoration and repair. It is especially helpful if neither partner has quietly consulted an attorney and if the subject of separation or divorce has not been part of the recent dialogue between them.”
ADVERTISEMENT
People have had a lot to say about this marriage
Reddit comment discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip with family.
Reddit thread showing a husband discussing his wife's changing behavior and years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit comment discussing wife humiliating husband and years of resentment during an unwanted trip in a troubled marriage.
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit comment about wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip with family and friends.
Screenshot of an online conversation about wife humiliating husband and years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
Reddit conversation showing a wife unleashing years of resentment toward husband on an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit conversation displaying wife’s public tantrum and years of resentment unleashed during unwanted trip.
Reddit discussion about wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment during an unwanted trip.
Reddit user discusses wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment during an unwanted trip, sharing relationship advice.
Reddit user discusses wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on a trip he didn’t want to take.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit comment discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment during unwanted trip and family tensions.
Reddit user discusses husband teaching online class during unwanted trip while wife unleashes years of resentment.
Online conversation discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
Eventually, the man found the courage to confront his wife
Wife expressing resentment and humiliating husband during a tense conversation on a couch in a home setting.
And he continued to talk to the people in the comments
Reddit conversation discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
Reddit comments discussing a wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit comment about wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a husband's resentment unleashed on a trip he didn't want to take.
Alt text: Online comment discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment during unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
Online discussion about wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip, sharing relationship advice.
ADVERTISEMENT
Online discussion about wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip, focusing on emotional conflict.
Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about wife humiliating husband and years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
Text conversation discussing a wife humiliating her husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip.
Text conversation discussing wife humiliating husband by unleashing years of resentment on an unwanted trip, revealing deep bitterness.
ADVERTISEMENT
Reddit conversation discussing wife’s resentment towards husband and the impact on their relationship during an unwanted trip.
ADVERTISEMENT
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.
He says quite a few times that her family is right in backing her up. Honestly, if one of my sisters walked around loudly making denigrating and insulting comments about her husband for others to hear I would most certainly NOT back her up. Bad behaviour like that is unacceptable!
Exactly! I used to have to defend my husband to my family and tell then to STFU because they thought my husband was "lazy" since where he worked he was classified as part-time because he was only guaranteed 5 hours a day. His job had health insurance for the family for FREE (USA), we paid no premiums and nominal co-pays with a $2,000/year cap for the family. He had a retirement package too that also included continuing the health plan until we are eligible for Medicare for $200/month. He is now retired and working at my workplace. In 5 years he will be vested here and will be able to draw a small (second) retirement. At that time we will both retire and I will have a nice retirement from here because I will have 38 years in and I will have a second retirement from an optional second retirement fund offered by my workplace. This will happen before he is 65 and before I am 60. Our house and bills will all be paid and we will have 4 retirements. So much for lazy.
Also we have a son who has never wanted for anything. We have taken trips. And I love concerts and attend then frequently both locally and those that I have to travel for.
She's not a good person. Good people don't act like that. If she's making more than you, she'll pay you alimony. She only brought OP on the trip to humilate him, otherwise she'd just go by herself.
Ok, would "my wife hates me and we are now separating after she went nuclear and told me what she really thought after a bad family vacation" be the TL/DR we really needed?
He says quite a few times that her family is right in backing her up. Honestly, if one of my sisters walked around loudly making denigrating and insulting comments about her husband for others to hear I would most certainly NOT back her up. Bad behaviour like that is unacceptable!
Exactly! I used to have to defend my husband to my family and tell then to STFU because they thought my husband was "lazy" since where he worked he was classified as part-time because he was only guaranteed 5 hours a day. His job had health insurance for the family for FREE (USA), we paid no premiums and nominal co-pays with a $2,000/year cap for the family. He had a retirement package too that also included continuing the health plan until we are eligible for Medicare for $200/month. He is now retired and working at my workplace. In 5 years he will be vested here and will be able to draw a small (second) retirement. At that time we will both retire and I will have a nice retirement from here because I will have 38 years in and I will have a second retirement from an optional second retirement fund offered by my workplace. This will happen before he is 65 and before I am 60. Our house and bills will all be paid and we will have 4 retirements. So much for lazy.
Also we have a son who has never wanted for anything. We have taken trips. And I love concerts and attend then frequently both locally and those that I have to travel for.
She's not a good person. Good people don't act like that. If she's making more than you, she'll pay you alimony. She only brought OP on the trip to humilate him, otherwise she'd just go by herself.
Ok, would "my wife hates me and we are now separating after she went nuclear and told me what she really thought after a bad family vacation" be the TL/DR we really needed?
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
42
49