Guy Accidentally Sat On A Toilet With A Huntsman Spider In It, Says He Was Assaulted By ‘World’s Smallest Sexual Predator”
Most of us have unsubstantiated fears that do nothing but give us anxiety. While most of the people fear heights and crowded spaces, there are some people that have some really marginal phobias that would make other people question their sanity. Say, a fear of finding some snake, spider or other scary creature hiding in the toilet bowl? Definitely not something a lot of people think about, but unfortunately a situation that became a reality for one Australian man.
Recently, a man named Rob shared a hilariously terrifying story on the r/tifu subreddit. The 22-year-old from Brisbane recalled a day at work that went from a regular “just chilling with my coworkers” one to a horror story one could retell his grandchildren. And it all happened because Rob didn’t check the toilet before sitting down for some quality time alone. That’s when a hunstman spider ambushed him.
Image credits: Michael Coghlan
“It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life,” Rob told Bored Panda. Naturally, someone unexpectedly touching you in your most private moment is not a pleasant experience, however we must not forget the story is taking place in “the Land Down Under”. “Grew up in a very rural area where, much like most of Australia, you see a snake or a spider and have to assume it’s venomous” the man explained.
And while the encounter with “the world’s smallest sexual predator” might’ve given Rob a serious shock (and pain) it sure made more than one person laugh, so scroll down below to read the poor man’s full story and don’t forget to comment if you had any sort of similar experiences.
Although initially Rob went through several different stages of fright, it ultimately boiled down to a good laugh. Especially for his coworkers. “Coincidentally a couple hours after I posted the story, the trailer for the new SpiderMan movie came out, and that’s basically been sent to me about twenty times on Facebook from coworkers telling me I missed out on becoming the new Penis Parker” Rob recalled. Even if the experience was frightening and embarrassing, the guy says he’s glad that it gave people a good laugh. “Makes me feel like my waking nightmare wasn’t for nothing” he concluded.
Image credits: sandid
People, amused or horrified by the story, soon flooded to the comments to express their thoughts
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🎶"Spider taint spider taint slap your balls and make you faint"🎶... why is this genius not enshrined somewhere?!
I was sexually harrassed by a mosquito once, during the night while I was asleep. I wasn’t wearing anything revealing at all, it just somehow crawled under my clothes and bit my breast, about 1 centimeter away from the nipple.
A bit weird to realize it was a female too. I mean, I have absolutely nothing against homosexuals, but this was just moving way too quickly.
Load More Replies...
When my very petite and articulate daughter was tiny, we were tenting in a campground. She had an unusual revulsion for spiders; unusual because we are such nature freaks and study everything, and venomous spiders are fairly rare here in Ohio, USA. Well, she was pitching a fuss because I was taking her to the outhouse (admittedly nobody likes them) and was certain a spider was going to come up from the hole. I was emphatically asserting that nothing was going to happen, the spiders weren't interested in her, and she'd be fine. I went first. JUST as my fingers released the elastic band of my underwear when done, I saw a huge insect fall into my underwear. A big staghorn beetle, with those maniacal looking pincers. Of course I did a whooping dance... On our way back through the campground (with the unharmed beetle to show Daddy) my charming, delighted daughter stopped and demonstrated the entire scene (with sound effects) to every camper on the way. :-)
OMG! I would have landed upside down in the toilet, trying to get rid of that!
Load More Replies...
Being assaulted by something with 8 legs - the thought makes me shudder. Just... no, no, no. Take all the therapy you can get.
Yet another one sided post from Panda. Think of it from the spiders point of view. On second thought.......
Haha...knowing how terrified men are about anything that involves testicles, this is hilarious! (Working for a vet as a teen, almost every man who surrendered a dog for castration did so with a pained look and clamped or crossed legs...) Embrace your story! So seldom does a good laugh come along, and lets face it--our biggest and best stories usually involve past pain or humiliation. We all share your pain, which is what makes it funny in the first place! Congrats on surviving your encounter with a nonvenomous creature who weighs as much as a feather! Glad he wasn't able to bite and drain you dry through your sac, and you weren't on the 6:00 news because of a bizarre autopsy report! (Sorry; I had to.)
I have never got the fear and irrationality around spiders, they are amazing and interesting creatures. I used to keep tarantulas as a kid so maybe that's why i like them but really they are such beautiful little things.
Wilderness camping involves "treasure chests", where you lift the lid to uncover the toilet hole. Under the lid I once found a strip of birch bark with these words written on it in pencil: "Please be kind to the spider." No thanks, I can hold it.
I'm not normally afraid of spiders, but something this size? Oh yes, I'd probably shriek too.
Ohhh God... spider!!! And the Dutch spiders already put the fear of God in me, if I'd see a Huntsman in real life, I'll probably drop dead from acute fright.
Thank you for sharing your pain and humiliation. I really appreciated the laugh.
You that is terrifying that like I hate spiders are you OK like I don't know do you feel any pain at all like that my not hurt
My whole day has been humming then singing "spider taint, spider taint...." and dissolving into laughter! Been sharing this as well with more laughter! Thank you so much for sharing this story and bringing laughter into my day! I'm sincerely glad that you did not get seriously injured. Again thank you for sharing this story!
F**k that s**t! I have a huge fear of spiders! I dont care how many times you clean and disinfect thst damn toilet I'm not going to be using it ever again! Spiders are the f*****g pets of Satan! I hate those eight-legged, eight-eyed MONSTROSITIES! 🤢🤢🤢🤢
omg...the visual...not a male with dangly-bits, but i can so picture the scene & the horror! they say everyone gets 15 minutes of fame, so if this is yours, revel in it and run with it!
I have a real phobia of insects, specially spiders (been bitten and got a nasty infection) and beetles (on a field trip, almost stepped barefoot on one that was bigger than my foot. Had a meltdown in front of the whole "senior" year...). Would die with this
I was once sexually harassed by an ant, it bit by balls. i didn't know how it got there.
"Spider taint, Spider taint, slap your balls and make you faint..." Please, someone make this a comic.
Spider Taint Spider taint slap your balls and make you faint.... Is now stuck in my head and is my ringtone.
🎶"Spider taint spider taint slap your balls and make you faint"🎶... why is this genius not enshrined somewhere?!
I was sexually harrassed by a mosquito once, during the night while I was asleep. I wasn’t wearing anything revealing at all, it just somehow crawled under my clothes and bit my breast, about 1 centimeter away from the nipple.
A bit weird to realize it was a female too. I mean, I have absolutely nothing against homosexuals, but this was just moving way too quickly.
Load More Replies... When my very petite and articulate daughter was tiny, we were tenting in a campground. She had an unusual revulsion for spiders; unusual because we are such nature freaks and study everything, and venomous spiders are fairly rare here in Ohio, USA. Well, she was pitching a fuss because I was taking her to the outhouse (admittedly nobody likes them) and was certain a spider was going to come up from the hole. I was emphatically asserting that nothing was going to happen, the spiders weren't interested in her, and she'd be fine. I went first. JUST as my fingers released the elastic band of my underwear when done, I saw a huge insect fall into my underwear. A big staghorn beetle, with those maniacal looking pincers. Of course I did a whooping dance... On our way back through the campground (with the unharmed beetle to show Daddy) my charming, delighted daughter stopped and demonstrated the entire scene (with sound effects) to every camper on the way. :-)
OMG! I would have landed upside down in the toilet, trying to get rid of that!
Load More Replies... Being assaulted by something with 8 legs - the thought makes me shudder. Just... no, no, no. Take all the therapy you can get.
Yet another one sided post from Panda. Think of it from the spiders point of view. On second thought.......
Haha...knowing how terrified men are about anything that involves testicles, this is hilarious! (Working for a vet as a teen, almost every man who surrendered a dog for castration did so with a pained look and clamped or crossed legs...) Embrace your story! So seldom does a good laugh come along, and lets face it--our biggest and best stories usually involve past pain or humiliation. We all share your pain, which is what makes it funny in the first place! Congrats on surviving your encounter with a nonvenomous creature who weighs as much as a feather! Glad he wasn't able to bite and drain you dry through your sac, and you weren't on the 6:00 news because of a bizarre autopsy report! (Sorry; I had to.)
I have never got the fear and irrationality around spiders, they are amazing and interesting creatures. I used to keep tarantulas as a kid so maybe that's why i like them but really they are such beautiful little things.
Wilderness camping involves "treasure chests", where you lift the lid to uncover the toilet hole. Under the lid I once found a strip of birch bark with these words written on it in pencil: "Please be kind to the spider." No thanks, I can hold it.
I'm not normally afraid of spiders, but something this size? Oh yes, I'd probably shriek too.
Ohhh God... spider!!! And the Dutch spiders already put the fear of God in me, if I'd see a Huntsman in real life, I'll probably drop dead from acute fright.
Thank you for sharing your pain and humiliation. I really appreciated the laugh.
You that is terrifying that like I hate spiders are you OK like I don't know do you feel any pain at all like that my not hurt
My whole day has been humming then singing "spider taint, spider taint...." and dissolving into laughter! Been sharing this as well with more laughter! Thank you so much for sharing this story and bringing laughter into my day! I'm sincerely glad that you did not get seriously injured. Again thank you for sharing this story!
F**k that s**t! I have a huge fear of spiders! I dont care how many times you clean and disinfect thst damn toilet I'm not going to be using it ever again! Spiders are the f*****g pets of Satan! I hate those eight-legged, eight-eyed MONSTROSITIES! 🤢🤢🤢🤢
omg...the visual...not a male with dangly-bits, but i can so picture the scene & the horror! they say everyone gets 15 minutes of fame, so if this is yours, revel in it and run with it!
I have a real phobia of insects, specially spiders (been bitten and got a nasty infection) and beetles (on a field trip, almost stepped barefoot on one that was bigger than my foot. Had a meltdown in front of the whole "senior" year...). Would die with this
I was once sexually harassed by an ant, it bit by balls. i didn't know how it got there.
"Spider taint, Spider taint, slap your balls and make you faint..." Please, someone make this a comic.
Spider Taint Spider taint slap your balls and make you faint.... Is now stuck in my head and is my ringtone.
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