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Teenager Chows Down On $70 Worth Of Charcuterie Before Thanksgiving Dinner, Mom Says “Pay Me Back”
Sharing meals in families is something quite fundamental where social behavior and rules can be observed. It is here that some important lessons and values are passed down by caregivers; however; those who failed to learn can sometimes get excluded from a shared dinner in their teen years or later.
This happened to this Redditor’s 16-year-old son who invited himself to a snack labeled “don’t eat” and meant for Thanksgiving, and was then asked to either replace it or be banned from Thanksgiving dinner the next day.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
A woman labeled snacks meant for Thanksgiving with “do not eat”, but it didn’t stop her son from grabbing a bite
Image credits: berenice martinez (not the actual photo)
The 16-year-old is a big fan of cheese, therefore his mom tends to sometimes label food he isn’t supposed to eat
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Weak_Sherbert426
So the mom did this with the snacks that were meant for Thanksgiving, labeling them “do not eat”
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Yet, the boy took a bite and a lot of snacks were missing from each plate, disappointing the mom who had worked extra hard to make them
A woman brought it to the Reddit community online after her 16-year-old son ate snacks despite them being labeled as “do not eat” and was given options to either compensate or be banned from sharing Thanksgiving dinner with the others the next day.
The woman explained that her son loves cheese a lot, and for this reason, his mom makes sure to label food that he is not supposed to eat. So she did the same this time, labeling all the food meant for Thanksgiving as “do not eat.”
The woman’s son indulged in the designated food nonetheless, leaving each block of food no longer uneaten. The woman was livid as she had to go the extra mile to make good-quality snack plates.
The woman told her son to go to the store and replace all of it which would cost him around 70 dollars; otherwise, he won’t get to eat their Thanksgiving meal.
The 16-year-old refused to replace the snacks and thought his mother was a jerk to insist on it. The woman’s husband sided with his son as well, as he couldn’t see why his wife was so livid about it.
The woman’s mother-in-law stepped in and suggested bringing a nice cheese board if the boy refused to either replace it or work for 11 hours to make it up. The boy didn’t seem likely to change his mind and the mother reassured everyone she would keep her word.
The mom requested her son either replace the food or be banned from Thanksgiving meal the next day
Image credits: Alex Guillaume (not the actual photo)
The woman’s husband sided with his son, yet the mom reassured him she wasn’t going to budge
Verywell Family discussed the importance as well as ways to set healthy boundaries for kids, noting that pushing boundaries is in kids’ nature and is an important part of growing up and becoming more independent. Yet also warning about the need to teach kids to test their limits respectfully and to know that, ultimately the parent is in charge.
They listed the reasons why kids need boundaries set by their parents and these included a sense of security. For example, kids who can usually convince their parents to do whatever they want would feel like they are more powerful than their parents and this tends to make kids feel anxious and insecure.
Similarly, a lack of boundaries skews kids’ sense of themselves, rather than encouraging good self-esteem, it sows the seeds of entitlement by sending a message that the people and things around them exist to meet their needs and always give them what they want.
Finally, setting clear boundaries reduces conflict as kids, in time, learn to modify their behavior rather than going back and forth every time trying to convince parents to give them what they want.
When it comes to ways to establish boundaries, Verywell Family listed teaching one’s kids to express their opinions and needs respectfully by modeling the preferred behavior among other things, being clear about what is in the “absolutely no-go zone”, being consistent and following through on the consequences, and finally, having patience.
Coming back to the original story, the woman’s post gathered 14.9k upvotes in just two days and people judged that the mother was not a jerk in this situation. Many aspects were brought in by commenters, as they emphasized the responsibility and effort involved in cooking big family dinners.
As noted in the most upvoted comment by busyshrew: “It’s not just the money – it was the time planning, the drive to, the shopping, the LABELLING DO NOT EAT THIS”. Others backed the mom as well, noting that directly related consequence is the best way to teach a kid.
Finally, some commenters brought attention to the father not seeing the problem in the kid’s behavior, undermining the mom’s decision and thus undermining their overall combined parenting effort.
Redditors sided with the mom’s decision to not let her son have Thanksgiving dinner unless he compensates for eating the marked-off snacks
What do you think ?
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
Why are the partners not having each other’s backs? Seems the son knows he has a bro code with pops that will always supersede this man having his wife’s back or teaching their child accountability, consideration, decency, regret & resolution. Many a 16yo will try to get away with what they know they can get away with. Having dad get his back means he knows he can get away with utter disrespect & lack of concern. There needs to be a realignment of boundaries in this house. And dad/husband needs to step the fück up. Ya, screw that father/husband. I’d be more concerned with his behavior than the 16yo kid. (seems I’m all about backs, today) Also, we clearly know who carries all the emotional labor & mental load in this household, regardless that both parents presumedly work.
Jp@nda 2 years ago
You described that perfect! I always knew that in my head but you put it into words perfectly! Thank you
Load More Replies...
Trillian 2 years ago
Withhold pocket money until it is paid for or make your husband pay for it if he thinks it's ok. It was clearly labeled so this was deliberate. He is not a kid who would not understand that certain foods have higher prices.
2nPink1nStink 2 years ago
Husband sounds like a winner too. Poor lady ended up with 2 Dbags and no cheese. I'd ask Santa for a new son and husband for Christmas.
I’mSoEmotional 2 years ago
Sometimes I think that because most men sit in the living room watching football (here in America) that they are clueless about how much time and energy goes into preparing a Thanksgiving meal. It’s all fun and games for men, but just another day of hard work for women.
Load More Replies...
Mad McQueen 2 years ago
And to think I've been calling it a meat a cheese tray when I could have been using a fancy French word. My grocery store is gonna bankrupt me. Yea he needs to replace it. He knew what he was doing eating all that food.
Clara Stallworth 2 years ago
This is where the phrase, "F--- around, and find out", is applicable! Kid was told not to eat from the charcuterie board, he does so anyway, mom gave him a choice: replace the meats and cheeses with his own money, or get barred from eating the Thanksgiving dinner. He refused the first choice, so he got the second one. (Kudos on MIL for saving OP!)
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 years ago
Well, Dad and sonny boy you can BOTH get your sorry butter to the store and replace everything or neither of you will be sitting at the table. End of discussion. And, dear hubby we will be having a Come to Jesus talk about your lack of support, capiche?
Joann Hart 2 years ago
The only problem with sending husband who I am assuming never shops is, you may end up with inferior items as replacements. I suggest from this point forward you take your son shopping (planning meals on that budget), teach him budgeting. While you're at it have him sit with you and hubby when it comes to Bill paying. Let him see at this age just what comes in and where it has to go. He is old enough. No more being a passive blob in the household
mat624@bellsouth.net 2 years ago
The cost of the meal is unimportant. The fact that the 16 year old blatantly disobedient his mother instructions, is much worst than the cost of the items he ate, is troubling to me. He clearly disrespected his mom and if she felt the need to label the tray, then this is not the first time he has done this and his refusing to make retribution for what he did and the father is going along with him and allowing him to disrespect his mother. What kind husband is that? I hope he knows that he is negatively contributing to the future actions of his son. If a cop tell him not to do something and he does it, we all know what will happen to him. We are responsible for our children and I hope this father see the danger in his approach to this situation. Mom whole your ground, you are raising TWO immature kids.
Load More Replies...
Carol Ryg 2 years ago (edited)
She should go on strike and refuse to do anything for her son going forward until he realizes how terribly he behaved and how s****y he is being towards her. Cut the husband off, too. Neither the husband nor the son has any respect for her and this will show up again in the way this kid treats his future partner.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
Why are the partners not having each other’s backs? Seems the son knows he has a bro code with pops that will always supersede this man having his wife’s back or teaching their child accountability, consideration, decency, regret & resolution. Many a 16yo will try to get away with what they know they can get away with. Having dad get his back means he knows he can get away with utter disrespect & lack of concern. There needs to be a realignment of boundaries in this house. And dad/husband needs to step the fück up. Ya, screw that father/husband. I’d be more concerned with his behavior than the 16yo kid. (seems I’m all about backs, today) Also, we clearly know who carries all the emotional labor & mental load in this household, regardless that both parents presumedly work.
Jp@nda 2 years ago
You described that perfect! I always knew that in my head but you put it into words perfectly! Thank you
Load More Replies... Trillian 2 years ago
Withhold pocket money until it is paid for or make your husband pay for it if he thinks it's ok. It was clearly labeled so this was deliberate. He is not a kid who would not understand that certain foods have higher prices.
2nPink1nStink 2 years ago
Husband sounds like a winner too. Poor lady ended up with 2 Dbags and no cheese. I'd ask Santa for a new son and husband for Christmas.
I’mSoEmotional 2 years ago
Sometimes I think that because most men sit in the living room watching football (here in America) that they are clueless about how much time and energy goes into preparing a Thanksgiving meal. It’s all fun and games for men, but just another day of hard work for women.
Load More Replies... Mad McQueen 2 years ago
And to think I've been calling it a meat a cheese tray when I could have been using a fancy French word. My grocery store is gonna bankrupt me. Yea he needs to replace it. He knew what he was doing eating all that food.
Clara Stallworth 2 years ago
This is where the phrase, "F--- around, and find out", is applicable! Kid was told not to eat from the charcuterie board, he does so anyway, mom gave him a choice: replace the meats and cheeses with his own money, or get barred from eating the Thanksgiving dinner. He refused the first choice, so he got the second one. (Kudos on MIL for saving OP!)
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 2 years ago
Well, Dad and sonny boy you can BOTH get your sorry butter to the store and replace everything or neither of you will be sitting at the table. End of discussion. And, dear hubby we will be having a Come to Jesus talk about your lack of support, capiche?
Joann Hart 2 years ago
The only problem with sending husband who I am assuming never shops is, you may end up with inferior items as replacements. I suggest from this point forward you take your son shopping (planning meals on that budget), teach him budgeting. While you're at it have him sit with you and hubby when it comes to Bill paying. Let him see at this age just what comes in and where it has to go. He is old enough. No more being a passive blob in the household
mat624@bellsouth.net 2 years ago
The cost of the meal is unimportant. The fact that the 16 year old blatantly disobedient his mother instructions, is much worst than the cost of the items he ate, is troubling to me. He clearly disrespected his mom and if she felt the need to label the tray, then this is not the first time he has done this and his refusing to make retribution for what he did and the father is going along with him and allowing him to disrespect his mother. What kind husband is that? I hope he knows that he is negatively contributing to the future actions of his son. If a cop tell him not to do something and he does it, we all know what will happen to him. We are responsible for our children and I hope this father see the danger in his approach to this situation. Mom whole your ground, you are raising TWO immature kids.
Load More Replies... Carol Ryg 2 years ago (edited)
She should go on strike and refuse to do anything for her son going forward until he realizes how terribly he behaved and how s****y he is being towards her. Cut the husband off, too. Neither the husband nor the son has any respect for her and this will show up again in the way this kid treats his future partner.
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