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Woman Urges Son Not To Marry GF Just After High School, It Bites Her Back Years Later
Our senior year of high school can be, let’s say, an interesting time. Not only do we have to figure out what we want to do after school, but we also have to figure out how everything we have right now will fit into the future plan.
And, of course, parents and other grownups always like to meddle. Just like this mom, who urged her son to make one life-altering decision after school instead of the other. Now, years later, he’s glad to have done that, but apparently, there is someone else who holds a grudge for that.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
While some people wait for a later point in their life to get married, others are sure they found the one at the very early age
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Like the man in the story, who met his fiancée in his 3rd year of high school and by the end of 4th was sure he wanted to marry her
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But his mom wasn’t thrilled about this idea, so she urged him to get educated in college before tying the knot
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She even promised to pay his tuition if he postpones his wedding for a few years in the future
Image credits: Fig2374
He agreed to such conditions and everything turned out fine, except for the fact that his fiancée apparently held a grudge towards his mom for “trying to break them apart”
The OP’s son Dan started dating his girlfriend Fran in junior year (3rd year of high school). At the end of his senior year, he was sure he wanted to marry her. This wasn’t the most pleasant idea for his mom – she wanted her son to get educated before getting married. And she knew he always wanted to go to college, too; it wasn’t something she was pushing onto him.
So, she told him that if he goes to college and waits at least a year or two before marrying, she’ll pay his tuition. He accepted the offer. During his college years, he maintained a long-distance relationship with Fran. Now, years later, they got engaged.
So, during Christmas, Fran wanted to give a toast. That’s where things took an unexpected turn. The woman basically talked about how her future mother-in-law is “evil” for actively trying to ruin their relationship by paying her son not to marry her. It’s needless to say that it was an awkward thing for everyone to hear.
Technically, there isn’t one “right” age when someone should get married. Well, of course, it only applies to adults. Anyone under 18 counts as child marriage, which is problematic on so many levels, so there’s a reason why it’s illegal in many places.
But speaking of legal adults, there isn’t one set age to get married; everyone can do it at their own pace, or don’t do it at all, if they don’t feel like it’s their path. Yet, if you look at it through a psychology and statistics lens, you might start to see some patterns emerge.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, some sociological data shows that the best age to get married is somewhere between 28 and 32. This window was decided due to the fact that divorce rates tend to be the lowest in comparison to ages before and after it.
Also, when it comes to the so-called high school sweethearts, not all of them last when the couple gets out of school. A few make it to marriage, and then within those marriages, divorce rates in the first ten years of marriage are at 54%.
One of the reasons why these couples tend not to last long enough is that when they get together at a young age, they might not be completely sure about their life aspirations. Even if they do think that they know, sometimes life comes at them, and they realize they were wrong. And so, getting committed to someone so seriously so early on can complicate life in the long run.
That’s why the OP was so worried about her son marrying straight out of high school. He had ambitions, which would have been cut off with a marriage. But now he has to get his desired education, and the relationship is still on, so it’s a win-win situation, isn’t it?
That’s what netizens thought too. Do you agree with such a stance? Please explain your thoughts in the comments!
At the same time, netizens said that the woman wasn’t in the wrong to get her son educated – it was the best possible path for him
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 21 hours ago (edited)
If Dan becomes a lawyer, he will probably want to move to a larger town and join a practice there. If Fran ever grows a brain, she will realize that that will mean their life together will be so much better. Holding Dan back to stay in their small town his entire life, stay dependent on their parents for jobs and support, and never becoming what he really wants to be, will backfire drastically and they will definitely divorce. Being his cheerleader while he goes to law school and supporting him by continuing to work while he studies, means she will be contributing to their future happy, productive, and lucrative life together. Why be a SAHM when your husband is barely making enough to support himself, much less you and any children you have? Now, the SAHM whose husband is a successful lawyer in a profitable practice and makes enough to live well with a wife and family to support would be the smarter goal, if being a SAHM is her only ambition in life. If they stay together and Dan becomes a lawyer at a big practice, then Fran should start working on herself NOW. She will have to meet the partners, attend functions, have the boss over for dinner, all those kinds of things where a wife who does them with ease, and presents herself well—-knowing her forks and such—-is an asset to a young up and coming attorney. A wife with a closed mind and attitude who is relatively uneducated and unaware of the proper way to behave at work functions is a real liability, and the senior partners will tell Dan that it’s not him but his wife who is holding him back at the firm. You think that kind of s**t is outdated? It’s not. How your spouse/partner/date presents themself at a work event/function is VERY important. If they misbehave, are loud, have a drinking problem, don’t watch what they say, they can be a huge source of embarrassment to you, and cost you promotions. Believe me. Same goes for your kids if you have the boss over for dinner. Trot them out to say hello, then straight off to homework or bed, no bad language, no acting up, no attitude. Just like it’s always been. Let’s hope Fran is up to the challenge. If not, the. She and Dan will never make it.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 15 hours ago
She wants to be a SAHM - red flag for me. (Go ahead and down vote me, I don't care)
Sabrina 5 hours ago
No downvote for you, I totally agree on that, her mother owns a shop, but she didn't think of taking over the shop, but want to be a SAHM.
Load More Replies...
Chrystina Sumpter 19 hours ago
I’m in my 60’s and I refer to many of the decisions I made in my 20’s—including getting married—as “When I was young and stupid.” People grow and change A LOT in their late teens and 20’s and it is the sign of a caring parent to want their child to figure out who they are before they get married.
Tabitha 21 hours ago (edited)
If Dan becomes a lawyer, he will probably want to move to a larger town and join a practice there. If Fran ever grows a brain, she will realize that that will mean their life together will be so much better. Holding Dan back to stay in their small town his entire life, stay dependent on their parents for jobs and support, and never becoming what he really wants to be, will backfire drastically and they will definitely divorce. Being his cheerleader while he goes to law school and supporting him by continuing to work while he studies, means she will be contributing to their future happy, productive, and lucrative life together. Why be a SAHM when your husband is barely making enough to support himself, much less you and any children you have? Now, the SAHM whose husband is a successful lawyer in a profitable practice and makes enough to live well with a wife and family to support would be the smarter goal, if being a SAHM is her only ambition in life. If they stay together and Dan becomes a lawyer at a big practice, then Fran should start working on herself NOW. She will have to meet the partners, attend functions, have the boss over for dinner, all those kinds of things where a wife who does them with ease, and presents herself well—-knowing her forks and such—-is an asset to a young up and coming attorney. A wife with a closed mind and attitude who is relatively uneducated and unaware of the proper way to behave at work functions is a real liability, and the senior partners will tell Dan that it’s not him but his wife who is holding him back at the firm. You think that kind of s**t is outdated? It’s not. How your spouse/partner/date presents themself at a work event/function is VERY important. If they misbehave, are loud, have a drinking problem, don’t watch what they say, they can be a huge source of embarrassment to you, and cost you promotions. Believe me. Same goes for your kids if you have the boss over for dinner. Trot them out to say hello, then straight off to homework or bed, no bad language, no acting up, no attitude. Just like it’s always been. Let’s hope Fran is up to the challenge. If not, the. She and Dan will never make it.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 15 hours ago
She wants to be a SAHM - red flag for me. (Go ahead and down vote me, I don't care)
Sabrina 5 hours ago
No downvote for you, I totally agree on that, her mother owns a shop, but she didn't think of taking over the shop, but want to be a SAHM.
Load More Replies... Chrystina Sumpter 19 hours ago
I’m in my 60’s and I refer to many of the decisions I made in my 20’s—including getting married—as “When I was young and stupid.” People grow and change A LOT in their late teens and 20’s and it is the sign of a caring parent to want their child to figure out who they are before they get married.
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