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Woman Bursts Into Tears After Boyfriend Falls Asleep And Wakes Up Too Late On Her Birthday
I would say that most of us are always looking forward to our birthdays, but I am pretty sure that the older you get, the less excited you may be about this special day. However, in any case, probably many of us still want to feel loved and appreciated on this day.
One Reddit user also wanted to make his girlfriend feel special on her birthday – however, despite going the extra mile for it, in the end, he got yelled at for sleeping too long.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Most of us want people who we love to feel they are important to us, but it would be also nice if they appreciated our effort to show that
Image credits: sujan khalifa (not the actual photo)
Man shares that he agreed to have his girlfriend’s birthday party at his home, where he spent quite a lot of time cleaning it and preparing
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
He noted that he had a business trip planned on his girlfriend’s birthday, which he ended up rescheduling and changing not only his plans but others’ as well
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
He added that in the end, his trip ended up being one of the hardest projects, and the day of his girlfriend’s birthday, his body couldn’t take it anymore so he fell asleep for 3 hours
Image credits: GatesDontKillMe
Despite this, he got up, got her flowers, cake, and went to take her to get lunch and see a movie, but was met with complaints that he had been sleeping for too long
A couple days ago, a Reddit user posted his story online asking for community members’ opinions if he was being a jerk after he fell asleep on his girlfriend’s birthday for 3 hours due to being exhausted. The post caught a lot of Redditors’ attention and collected over 7.4K upvotes and 1.6K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by sharing that he agreed to host his girlfriend’s birthday party at his home, where he spent 9 hours cleaning and preparing everything. He added that he was supposed to have a business trip that was scheduled on her birthday, but he managed to agree to rework the entire project schedule so he could be there with her on her special day.
OP noted that this project ended up being one of the most exhausting in his life, as the work required him to work late nights, where he on average slept just for a few hours. However, he took the next day off so he could spend his girlfriend’s birthday with her. He shared that he woke up early to a work call and noticed that his body just couldn’t handle it anymore and fell asleep for over 3 hours.
Despite this, he got up, got her flowers, went to her place to take her to her favorite lunch place and see the movie that she wanted, and got her favorite cake. However, after he got there, he was met not with gratitude but with yelling that he had been sleeping for too long. “I felt like I have been giving 110% to everyone and everything and yet I’m still getting yelled at,” OP noted.
The community members backed up the author and gave him the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge. “Eh, NTA and I would throw her back. Find someone to build a relationship who understands the pressures of adult life and has a healthy dose of empathy,” one user wrote. “NTA. Cut your losses and find someone who’s more mature and mentally healthy,” another added.
Image credits: Silvia Trigo (not the actual photo)
Probably there is no surprise in the statement that appreciation in a relationship is important. I believe most of us want to feel loved not only on occasions, but every day. Sometimes it may appear that we have ‘gotten used’ to it, which may lead to not appreciating appreciation anymore, but by doing so, we can cultivate a deeper sense of connection and gratitude in our relationships.
Researcher Dr. John Gottman notes that in a relationship, partners who don’t express gratitude to one another are far more likely to be critical, disrespectful, or defensive. In addition, he listed a few ways you can show appreciation to your partner: For example, it may simply be expressing affection, exchanging tender touch, a kiss, giving compliments or giving them a surprise present and he noted – go for the thought, not the price tag.
Moreover, according to Harvard Health studies, gratitude can lead to happiness. An individual who develops a habit of being thankful and showing gratitude gains advantages that extend beyond themselves. According to research from Harvard Health, couples who routinely express their thankfulness to their partner report feeling happier with each other.
So guys, if you needed a reminder to show gratitude and appreciation to your partner or friend – here it is! But coming back to the story, what is your take on this? Do you agree with Redditors that the man should leave his girlfriend or you think he disrespected her time by falling asleep? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors backed up the man and suggested that he rethink the whole relationship
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What do you think ?
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago (edited)
Who cares about the gf? OP needs therapy and some time before they ever date again. Going overboard on a new relationship, giving more than what they can and then resenting the person they gave to, pursuing a relationship with someone who needs extreme caretaking, projecting other peoples behaviour, and internalizing mild conflict as some sort of catastrophic personal failure are not great signs.
Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
Yesss. My armchair-psychologist a**e diagnoses low self-esteem and poor self-worth resulting in a lack of belief that OP deserves an equal relationship where his partner gives as much as they get from him. (Meant a little tongue-in-cheek in terms of phrasing and diagnosis, but at a very basic level I'm serious.)
Load More Replies...
Musky82 1 year ago
“Negative reinforcement”? Not enough people commented on this major red flag. It sounds like she is trying to train him like he’s her puppy. Run for the hills, she sounds spoiled and immature. No matter what you do, it isn’t enough. She’s trying to neuter you and train you into obedience!
Kathy O 1 year ago
And it sounds like he gravitates towards abusive partners - he needs to explore why this is in therapy. He's probably a "fixer" type, which is awesome, but can definitely attract the wrong person if they're not careful and haven't set boundaries for themselves.
Load More Replies... Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
Holy c**p. At least OP is only 2 months in - he needs to break up with her ASAP. Such a selfish and immature gf with no empathy. When you're that sleep-deprived your body WILL take over for a few hours. And it was 3 hours! You'd made no firm plans that you slept through! You took her to lunch, did a film, brought her flowers! (I'm not even going to go into the whole party thing, or the nightmare or reorganising the work trip.) OP needs to work on his boundaries, though. I get an impression he gives too much, too soon, without understanding/expecting the relationship to be an equal partnership of give and take by both parties where he gets as well as gives.
Little Miss Lady 1 year ago
You've only been dating two months and she's already given you enough insight into her character to RUN. Run for the hills and find someone who is emotionally mature, understanding and who appreciates you. Also, consider healing from your past relationship and being single for a while, so you can work on yourself and figure out what you want in a long-term partner. This gal ain't it.
Richard Kimmell 1 year ago
Sounds like there might be a maturity gap here. OP def needs to carefully assess the situation, and have a serious talk with gf to see if there can be any common emotional framework on which to build. If not, best to part ways.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
Going against the tide here, but, goodness, isn't the OP sorry for himself? The sheer level of detail makes me think there may be more to this. That said, neither sounds particularly mature as two months into a relationship is still very early days and neither should be feeling this level of expectation for the first real milestone they'll share.
Anony Mouse 1 year ago
It's a very one-sided story. I would like to hear her side before I attack and name-call an internet stranger.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
I'm not going to attack and name call but its clear he put a lot of effort into it... so NTA but she might be going through a lot too
Load More Replies... 
DrBronxx 1 year ago
That is a doomed relationship. I would like to know more about how his GF "doesn't sleep well", and how it stacks up to the massively taxing week he just had. OP also has to be careful, though - if you're giving 110% to everything, you're going to experience burnout. It sounds like therapy would help him with his past trauma, and also help him to prioritise the things in his life that require attention.
Captain McSmoot 1 year ago
Even running on way less sleep than any human needs to, OP can see that his girlfriend is a horribly selfish person. Run, my guy. Run. You don't need someone like that in your life. After a heavy project like that, anyone could see the exhaustion on your face; she didn't need more details or any other c**p excuse like that. You most likely looked like hell, a presentable and clean hell, but hell nonetheless. She was so focused on herself that she couldn't see the obvious situation right in front of her. You need someone who will lift you up when you're down, who will be there to lean on when you're beat. She's not the one. She made it quite clear that, even after everything you did for her, you're not good enough for her. So, find someone who thinks you're good enough or more than enough. Run.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
OP, drop the girl and pick up on the sleep! You'll need the latter more than the former, end of story. Sounds like OP was expected to be a toy for whenever GF felt like playing and throws a tantrum if he breaks down. I hope to hear that she's an ex after this. 2 months... Sheeesh... -_-
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
He's absolutely NTA here in any capacity. BUT I do think he needs to be careful about putting his all into his work, because that's a great way to get burnt out. There shouldn't be any circumstances that require your nose to be -that- close to the grindstone. And while -this- woman was immature and selfish about it, I could potentially see a future partner getting justifiably upset if he never has time to pull his weight in the relationship.... Money isn't everything, especially when you're torturing yourself to earn it.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
the gf had a right to be upset until he explained to her what happened, then any anger shouldve been directed to his boss for shoving that large workload on him, either way op is nta
ERMAHGERD DINOSAURS 1 year ago (edited)
Next time I try to define “lack of empathy,” I might think of this story. I hope this guy dropped her like the entitled trash she is…
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago (edited)
Who cares about the gf? OP needs therapy and some time before they ever date again. Going overboard on a new relationship, giving more than what they can and then resenting the person they gave to, pursuing a relationship with someone who needs extreme caretaking, projecting other peoples behaviour, and internalizing mild conflict as some sort of catastrophic personal failure are not great signs.
Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
Yesss. My armchair-psychologist a**e diagnoses low self-esteem and poor self-worth resulting in a lack of belief that OP deserves an equal relationship where his partner gives as much as they get from him. (Meant a little tongue-in-cheek in terms of phrasing and diagnosis, but at a very basic level I'm serious.)
Load More Replies... Musky82 1 year ago
“Negative reinforcement”? Not enough people commented on this major red flag. It sounds like she is trying to train him like he’s her puppy. Run for the hills, she sounds spoiled and immature. No matter what you do, it isn’t enough. She’s trying to neuter you and train you into obedience!
Kathy O 1 year ago
And it sounds like he gravitates towards abusive partners - he needs to explore why this is in therapy. He's probably a "fixer" type, which is awesome, but can definitely attract the wrong person if they're not careful and haven't set boundaries for themselves.
Load More Replies... Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
Holy c**p. At least OP is only 2 months in - he needs to break up with her ASAP. Such a selfish and immature gf with no empathy. When you're that sleep-deprived your body WILL take over for a few hours. And it was 3 hours! You'd made no firm plans that you slept through! You took her to lunch, did a film, brought her flowers! (I'm not even going to go into the whole party thing, or the nightmare or reorganising the work trip.) OP needs to work on his boundaries, though. I get an impression he gives too much, too soon, without understanding/expecting the relationship to be an equal partnership of give and take by both parties where he gets as well as gives.
Little Miss Lady 1 year ago
You've only been dating two months and she's already given you enough insight into her character to RUN. Run for the hills and find someone who is emotionally mature, understanding and who appreciates you. Also, consider healing from your past relationship and being single for a while, so you can work on yourself and figure out what you want in a long-term partner. This gal ain't it.
Richard Kimmell 1 year ago
Sounds like there might be a maturity gap here. OP def needs to carefully assess the situation, and have a serious talk with gf to see if there can be any common emotional framework on which to build. If not, best to part ways.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
Going against the tide here, but, goodness, isn't the OP sorry for himself? The sheer level of detail makes me think there may be more to this. That said, neither sounds particularly mature as two months into a relationship is still very early days and neither should be feeling this level of expectation for the first real milestone they'll share.
Anony Mouse 1 year ago
It's a very one-sided story. I would like to hear her side before I attack and name-call an internet stranger.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
I'm not going to attack and name call but its clear he put a lot of effort into it... so NTA but she might be going through a lot too
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 1 year ago
That is a doomed relationship. I would like to know more about how his GF "doesn't sleep well", and how it stacks up to the massively taxing week he just had. OP also has to be careful, though - if you're giving 110% to everything, you're going to experience burnout. It sounds like therapy would help him with his past trauma, and also help him to prioritise the things in his life that require attention.
Captain McSmoot 1 year ago
Even running on way less sleep than any human needs to, OP can see that his girlfriend is a horribly selfish person. Run, my guy. Run. You don't need someone like that in your life. After a heavy project like that, anyone could see the exhaustion on your face; she didn't need more details or any other c**p excuse like that. You most likely looked like hell, a presentable and clean hell, but hell nonetheless. She was so focused on herself that she couldn't see the obvious situation right in front of her. You need someone who will lift you up when you're down, who will be there to lean on when you're beat. She's not the one. She made it quite clear that, even after everything you did for her, you're not good enough for her. So, find someone who thinks you're good enough or more than enough. Run.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
OP, drop the girl and pick up on the sleep! You'll need the latter more than the former, end of story. Sounds like OP was expected to be a toy for whenever GF felt like playing and throws a tantrum if he breaks down. I hope to hear that she's an ex after this. 2 months... Sheeesh... -_-
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
He's absolutely NTA here in any capacity. BUT I do think he needs to be careful about putting his all into his work, because that's a great way to get burnt out. There shouldn't be any circumstances that require your nose to be -that- close to the grindstone. And while -this- woman was immature and selfish about it, I could potentially see a future partner getting justifiably upset if he never has time to pull his weight in the relationship.... Money isn't everything, especially when you're torturing yourself to earn it.
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
the gf had a right to be upset until he explained to her what happened, then any anger shouldve been directed to his boss for shoving that large workload on him, either way op is nta
ERMAHGERD DINOSAURS 1 year ago (edited)
Next time I try to define “lack of empathy,” I might think of this story. I hope this guy dropped her like the entitled trash she is…
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