Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Parents Expect Daughter To Sacrifice Everything Just To Attend Niece’s Wedding Because Family Comes First
Stressed mother holding her baby at home, worried about the cost of skipping niece's expensive wedding.

Parents Demand Single Mom Risk Her Job And Spend $2,500 To Attend Child-Free Midweek Wedding

28

ADVERTISEMENT

When a bride and groom start planning their wedding, they have the important task of inviting friends, family, and loved ones to celebrate their special day. The problem is that, despite the kind invitation, guests might say no if they simply can’t make it.

This is what one woman considered doing after realizing how inconvenient and costly it would be to attend her niece’s wedding. Unfortunately, even bringing it up with her family led to extreme backlash, which left her perplexed.

RELATED:

    It can be painful to let down loved ones, especially if they don’t seem to understand your point of view

    simonapilolla / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    The poster shared that since she’s a teacher, she would have to fake being sick and take multiple days off to attend her niece’s wedding, which was on a Thursday

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Since the woman was a single mom, she didn’t know what to do since the wedding was child-free, but she knew she’d have to bring her kid along to the state, which would be costly

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Apart from the cost of babysitting and having to deal with someone else potentially looking after her child, the woman would have to contribute $250 for the couple’s honeymoon

    ADVERTISEMENT

    kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The poster calculated that she would have to pay nearly $2500 to attend her niece’s wedding, which was too expensive, but her parents were angry when she brought the topic up

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    They called her a terrible aunt for even thinking of skipping the event, but she wondered whether it was time to set boundaries instead

    ADVERTISEMENT

    EatLePie

    The poster questioned if it would be better to decline the invitation and send her niece a generous gift instead

    Weddings tend to bring people together and can be a lot of fun, but sometimes, because of other obligations or costs, people just can’t attend the couple’s big day. NextTribe explains that with destination weddings, travel, accommodation, and even clothing can be a splurge folks might not be able to handle.

    Also, some events are child-free or don’t allow parents to bring kids under 12, which can be a real inconvenience. That means adults need to find a caregiver or babysitter for their little ones, which can cost more than they planned as a guest.

    Turning down a wedding invite can make people feel guilty, especially if they are close to the bridal couple

    According to research shared by Chatelaine, nearly 17% of people have admitted to making up an excuse to opt out of a wedding because of the costs. Many Canadians spend between $100 and $500 on gifts, clothes, and pre-nuptial events, and one in eight folks faces expenses of nearly $1000.

    That’s why many people admit to feeling anxious or stressed when they receive wedding invites because of all the responsibilities and expectations that come with them. With so many costs to bear and rules to follow, it might be tough for guests to enjoy themselves or just be there for the couple.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    When declining a wedding invite, be graceful and courteous. TouchNote says to start by expressing your regret that you can’t attend and thanking them for inviting you. Rather than going into great detail about your reasons for not coming, it’s best to just apologize and close the matter.

    To soften the blow, you can also send a small gift or some money to the bride and groom to show your support, even if you can’t be there in person. Even a call, text, or public message can help and show you care.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    It can be difficult to turn down an invite to a wedding in the family, especially if loved ones are being forceful about it

    In situations like this, when relatives overstep boundaries, the Taylor Counseling Group explains that it’s important to put your needs first and explain your side of the story. Letting family know you won’t let them walk all over you or pressure you into doing something you don’t want is a good way to protect your well-being.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    This is what the poster planned to do because she realized the costs of attending the wedding and all the expectations were simply too much. Hopefully she managed to clear the situation with her parents instead of giving in to their guilt-tripping.

    Do you think the woman is overreacting about not attending the wedding, or should she be there for her family? We’d love to hear your perspective.

    People were shocked at the audacity of the woman’s parents and the couple for having a Thursday wedding and told the poster she had nothing to feel guilty about

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Beverly Noronha
    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints.

    If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Read less »
    Beverly Noronha
    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints.

    If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    What do you think ?
    Heffalump
    Community Member
    7 hours ago

    Always communicate directly with the person affected, not with people who will worry about how _your_ actions will make _them_ look. OP muttered to her parents that she might not make it, when she should have told her niece all the details as she's laid them out here. Niece will be sorry she can't come, but be basically OK about it (unless she's some ridiculous bridezilla, in which case, who cares).

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    2 hours ago

    I sounds as if the 'happy couple' have gone out of their way to make it as difficult as possible for OP to attend. A simple 'yeah, but no' should cover it.

    Papa
    Community Member
    2 hours ago

    The last sentence in the last reply above says "I think YTA though because you made this all about you and it's really about the couple getting married." Is that person insane?

    Load More Comments
    Heffalump
    Community Member
    7 hours ago

    Always communicate directly with the person affected, not with people who will worry about how _your_ actions will make _them_ look. OP muttered to her parents that she might not make it, when she should have told her niece all the details as she's laid them out here. Niece will be sorry she can't come, but be basically OK about it (unless she's some ridiculous bridezilla, in which case, who cares).

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    2 hours ago

    I sounds as if the 'happy couple' have gone out of their way to make it as difficult as possible for OP to attend. A simple 'yeah, but no' should cover it.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Papa
    Community Member
    2 hours ago

    The last sentence in the last reply above says "I think YTA though because you made this all about you and it's really about the couple getting married." Is that person insane?

    Load More Comments
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT