Photo Of Baby Lying Next To Mom’s C-Section Scar Shows Us What Mothers Go Through
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Pregnancy and birth happen as they do, yet many women are openly judged if a “not natural” option is chosen. Recently, photographer Helen Aller, from Guernsey, UK, took this intimate photo of a mother and her three-day-old baby boy next to her caesarean incision. The woman, who did not want to be identified, had decided on a vaginal birth, but was forced to have an emergency caesarean due to complications. She wanted a picture taken of the operation that saved her and her baby.
“I photographed this mama’s pregnancy a while back and she was telling me how terrified she was of having a c-section,” wrote Aller on Facebook. “Well last week she went into labor but had to have an emergency c-section after complications. She asked me to come over this morning and shoot this particular image as her worst nightmare proved to be what saved her and her child’s lives.”
More info: Facebook
“[She] wanted something to show that her biggest fear was what in the end saved both of them. I think she will see that scar and appreciate the life they were given”
“I can’t believe the amount of women that are ashamed of their scars and made to feel like they haven’t done the job properly because they didn’t give birth naturally,” Aller wrote on Facebook
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I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever.....Although the picture is beautiful and yes, I am one of those women who had a C-section due to complications, I sometimes fear that the intention may be right....but the message is brought in a wrong way, perhaps. Should we now doubt the fact that it never ever occured to us to have no such feelings of shame for the fact that we could not deliver a baby *naturally*? I am sure the photographer meant well....but I don't want people to throw a remark about *self doubt during birth* into the world, just to get a little more attention for the photo. But that's just my opinion... I have two scars on my tummy, one saved us during birth, the other one saved me during an almost fatal illness...I wear them with pride :-)
I have been told I didn't "do the job properly" or know what birth is really like because I had a life saving c section. There is shaming towards some mothers who have had sections, how very fortunate you are that you haven't encountered this.
I'm sorry you've encountered this. Not a single woman I know in this world would say that to anyone. I wish you'll find better friends/people to hang around with.
That is not nice at all, Sarah...why? Why would anyone say such a thing. No, no one in my part of the world would ever make such a comment...it makes no sense and speaks about the ignorance and insecurity of those who make such a comment, and has very little to do with you. Do keep that in mind, Sarah. x
Who do you spend your time with? I think you maybe deserve better.
I've actually heard a lot of stories of women being shamed by other women for having c-sections and not going through a "real" birth. I've also personally have seen it happen in mommy groups as well. I have 3 children and made the choice to have my 3rd by c-section after my second child suffered severe head trauma that lead to 2 brain surgeries before he was 18 months old because of birth. First thing my doctor told me afterwards was that she was amazing I managed to have 2 children naturally with the way my body is built. I have also actually had women tell me I should be ashamed of myself for not "trusting in God" that things would be okay. I'm a Christian, but I also believe in making educated decisions. There's actually a whole group of women out there who shame other women for not having children "the way God intended." It's disgusting.
I agree. Some moms who give birth naturally might think they are braver, they are better so they are mean unintentionally to moms who have c-sections. I think its up to a person. Mean people are everywhere. Ignore them.
Dear Melanie, it is truly beyond me, how one can even think to be less of Christian or less of a woman, or even have to endure discussion! In my country (Netherlands) many feel you should give birth at home, unless...unless there is any fear of complication. And epidurals are frowned upon ( I did not care and had one) And then there is the whole breast feeding maffia. You did very well, and I am sure you never doubted whether the choice was right. x
I think the only shame i feel with the c-section is that i never felt how it was like to hold my baby after birth. i feel and will always feel like i missed something and watching this image made me cry. i think it's gorgeous. but you are right, i have no shame in my scar...
I truly hope you don't have shame. Birth, which ever way, is magical and beautiful. Even when it's scary, like my daughter's was. She wasn't breathing and I didn't get to hold her either. So I know how you feel there. All is well now though. I hold her ever the more now that she grows and fills my life with love and all things little girls are. x I hope one day you will get over the feeling you missed something. Try and fill that empty spot with the love you have now. xx
I am thankful. every day!
Ayelet, be thankful for what you do have. Many women don't get the opportunity to have children at all, so the fact that you had a healthy baby is a gift you should cherish.
A hug for you Ayelet x
Personally I wanted a natural birth so bad that even 13 months later I question whether or not the c section was the right thing even though my Dr said it was an emergency. I do feel ashamed and less of a woman because my body couldn't do it naturally. I am not sure why I feel this way exactly but I think it mostly stems from everyone consistently telling me that my body "was made for this [natural birth]." Even my own mom's response when we told her we had to have an emergency c-section were "are you sure you HAVE to?" Like she thought I was opting for an easy way out. (After 21 hours of labor) In the end I'm glad we did it because my baby boy is perfect, healthy, and the love of my life but I will always feel like I am somehow flawed for not being able to "do the job properly."
Clearly there are people and communities that still need a lot of love and education Tiffany, believe me, I ...from my perspective and part of the world, find it unbelievable that any woman should ever feel shame or even feel cheated. I hope that you do understand that there is no right or wrong way to do the job. Unless you conciously sabotage your baby by drinking, smoking or doing drugs. Enjoy your baby, you have done a perfect job! X
I am glad you didn't feel shame, but shame after a c section very much exists. This article did not bring up a new phenomenon. I felt shame after my C section.
I have a really hard time with having had a c section, in a lot of ways. I feel like I cheated, despite still not being quite back to normal almost a year later (random weird abdominal pains near my scar, etc). And several people commented that I got "The easy way out".
"I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever...." Well, now you have...me. I was young and due to 2 breech births back in the 70's, I had to have 2 C-sections. One scar is vertical, the other horizontal, and I hate them both. I love my 2 daughters with all my heart, but felt the scars were disfiguring.
I am sorry that you did....but probably: you would do it all over again for them. I have no problem with scars, I find them often so human and endearing and showing our human vulnaribility...they tell a story and my scars do so too. The one that saved my life, is very ugly....but the story is much more profound than it may seem. It saved my life in more than one way and I never ever saw it as ugly. ;-) And believe me, it is not very pretty...If someone would make a remark, I would not be offended, not everyone deserves a full explanation;-)))
Imagine the surprise when me and my friend finally spoke about this and realized we both where ashamed of our c-sections. We both felt we had somehow failed and where lesser woman for not being able to give birth naturally. For almost 2 years we did´t know we shared that feeling. For me it´s been 4 years now and it still feels the same...Still the same grief that I could´t do it, and now it´s been fueled by c-sec nr. 2 as my body still would´t work right the second time.... So yes..... some woman are ashamed....
"I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever.." Well now you have. Me. I had 2 C-sections, both in the 70's. I was young and due to breech births, had to have the C-sections instead. One scar is up and down, the other is across, and I hate them both. I love my girls with all my heart, but hate having those disfiguring scars.
I wasn't lucky enough to get pregnant in the first place (despite lots of trying) but, if I had, I would of had to have a section (as I don't have a cervix). What I'm saying is having a wonderful, precious, healthy baby is the important part and not how it comes into the world. Nobody should feel ashamed of not being able to do it naturally - you do what's best for mum and baby at the time.
To be fair, some woman who push the baby out do judge those who have c-sections. WHY they judge them is beyond me, not every woman is able to give birth in the 'normal' way, for health reasons, and what about when the life of the mother and/or the baby are at serious risk by doing so. C-sections are a wondrous thing and in no way lessen the experience. People who judge must be very very perfect and healthy.
Actually, a man told me I should be embarrassed to show my scar. I was wearing a bikini. He said scars were horrible to look at. I was never ashamed!
Who ever that man was should have been embarrassed to say such a crude, rude and non of his damn business remark. Humph on him. What a dumb (F) Cluck.
There is no reason whatsoever to be ashamed. You gave birth to a baby. You chose not to destroy the baby and keep him. That is something beautiful. It doesn't matter how your baby is born. It just matters that the baby was born.
Perfect imperfection.
Oh it's just a scar, and let me tell you that shit hurts afterwards....bad....I used to cry for a couple minutes before I got up to go to the bathroom because it hurt so damn bad. But I did it and I got my son so it was all worth it. Quite frankly I could care a less about the subject and the simple fact someone thought they needed to show what some women have to go thru or whether or not you can have a natural birth or how people feel about it, and now I'm no longer making sense because this is just stupid. I'm sick of everyone trying to critique everything in life to where it's all just getting soooo boring. Instead of trying to figure everything out just live and be happy.
I have had both a C-section & a natural birth & it really didn't matter to me how my children came out just as long as they were healthy & now my youngest daughter has just had a C-section with her third baby & it is all rather wonderful I now have 2 daughters & 4 granddaughters. SO it does not matter HOW you have your children C-section, natural or even if someone else has them for you, the important thing is the child in your arms. Don't ever listen to or believe small minded people who sit in judgement on other peoples lives, they just have nothing better to do with their time & they derive pleasure from making others feel small, don't give them that power.
I had 36 hours of labor before my c section, I earned those scars and I am proud of them.
If it wasn't for a good doctor and C-section my son would have died or suffered major cerebral hypoxia. The umbilical cord was coiled around his neck and no ultrasound scan was able to show it so nobody knew it until the labor started. So i will not let anyone tell me that i did something wrong or that "it wasn't a real, proper labor". What's wrong with this people?
I choose to C-S for my twins even though I hv a choice to go natural cause its tough enough to go through IVF. Another reason is (we can) still be able enjoy sex aft birth. Cheers!
My wife's scar is teeny...no need for shame. A person came out of there!
A C section saves lives. It is a shame that many women lost their lives before the c section was introduced to medical science. Everyone has scars whether they are physical or emotional. They are a testament of time, the things we go through as humans...
Does it matter which way the baby is born as long as mother and baby are both okay afterwards.
It is great that they are both alive and healthy.
Lovely :)
I didn't know that you can "decide" to have a baby naturally?! From my own experience, it is expected of a mother to give birth vaginally and then when you can't, a c-section is a last resort. Then when you undergo the life saving procedure.
Not true. My Aunt "Chose" to have C Section for convenience sake. She did not want to "Push the baby out". I'm sure not all Doctors out there allow this.. I don't know. Hers did. She had 2 C Sections by choice. No need & no emergency.
Nah... alot of women have sections, mostly for selfish reasons, like not wanting their twats stretched out as they should
Sorry about the multiple posts, don't know what happened.
There is no reason to put your kid's face all over your vagina.
I had one child naturally and the 2nd emergency C-section. However, baby comes out, as long as both mum and child are well - there is no shame.
Caesarean unite !
As a c-section mommy...hear hear!
when i give birth to my 1st child, it was through assisted birthing - vacuum process. after 30 hours of labour they wrote in my baby book: 'vacuum - poor performance. mother lacked effort'. that really hurt. i may not have visible scar, but it hurt all the same..
sorry, i count it wrong, 18 hour and 45 minutes of labour
I have had 3 kids, 2 sections, 1 vaginal. Notice I didn't say "natural"....all births are a product of Nature, so to me they are all natural. To be ashamed of how your baby was brought into the world is not necessary. You carried that child for 9 months, protected that child with your body. That is natural. Complications during labor may not seem natural, but if you think about it, it's your bodies way of saying Hey-help me out here. Let the shame go....I feel proud to have brought 3 wonderful lives into this world; that's what matters.
it is a tragic thing when women, attack other women
It's all these little things that make you who you are. Nobody should be afraid to hide them. X
What struck me most, was the size of the baby resting on its mother. To imagine that baby being born at all, demands respect... Personally, whether a baby is born by way of the vagina or by way of a surgeons scalpel, the fact that a baby has come from inside a woman is awesome in itself... That a baby of that size can come from a small opening, whether natural or not is miraculous. This is a gift of life and each and every woman should feel immensely proud of that.
Never Hurt your Mother, Never Hurt your parent, This is what they through to bring you in this world.
Beautiful shot - healthy baby - nice neat scar - Congrats. New Mum!
The only ones who I have ever heard of being criticized are those that DO 'schedule' their C-section, for convenience of themselves or worse- the doctor of choice.
Same here. Only the ones that do it by choice. I don't think anyone in their right mind would judge a woman for having a life saving procedure.
Cam someone shoot photo with a newborn and placenta, to show what newborn had to go through ?
Never felt ashamed, but after my second was born (VBAC) I, sadly, did feel more accomplished having been able to deliver vaginally....I am thankful for the midwife in attendance who helped me during labor, as she realized what I needed in order to avoid a second c-section, and I feel blessed to have been able to experience both.
چه کنم انگلیسی بلد نیستم...
I thought you weren't supposed to shave your bush during pregnancy, that it could endanger the baby ??
It was likely shaved for the c section...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
just another excuse to print a picture of a nude woman
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Its time doctors started looking at working with the Mums instead of jumping to the knife so quick.
I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever.....Although the picture is beautiful and yes, I am one of those women who had a C-section due to complications, I sometimes fear that the intention may be right....but the message is brought in a wrong way, perhaps. Should we now doubt the fact that it never ever occured to us to have no such feelings of shame for the fact that we could not deliver a baby *naturally*? I am sure the photographer meant well....but I don't want people to throw a remark about *self doubt during birth* into the world, just to get a little more attention for the photo. But that's just my opinion... I have two scars on my tummy, one saved us during birth, the other one saved me during an almost fatal illness...I wear them with pride :-)
I have been told I didn't "do the job properly" or know what birth is really like because I had a life saving c section. There is shaming towards some mothers who have had sections, how very fortunate you are that you haven't encountered this.
I'm sorry you've encountered this. Not a single woman I know in this world would say that to anyone. I wish you'll find better friends/people to hang around with.
That is not nice at all, Sarah...why? Why would anyone say such a thing. No, no one in my part of the world would ever make such a comment...it makes no sense and speaks about the ignorance and insecurity of those who make such a comment, and has very little to do with you. Do keep that in mind, Sarah. x
Who do you spend your time with? I think you maybe deserve better.
I've actually heard a lot of stories of women being shamed by other women for having c-sections and not going through a "real" birth. I've also personally have seen it happen in mommy groups as well. I have 3 children and made the choice to have my 3rd by c-section after my second child suffered severe head trauma that lead to 2 brain surgeries before he was 18 months old because of birth. First thing my doctor told me afterwards was that she was amazing I managed to have 2 children naturally with the way my body is built. I have also actually had women tell me I should be ashamed of myself for not "trusting in God" that things would be okay. I'm a Christian, but I also believe in making educated decisions. There's actually a whole group of women out there who shame other women for not having children "the way God intended." It's disgusting.
I agree. Some moms who give birth naturally might think they are braver, they are better so they are mean unintentionally to moms who have c-sections. I think its up to a person. Mean people are everywhere. Ignore them.
Dear Melanie, it is truly beyond me, how one can even think to be less of Christian or less of a woman, or even have to endure discussion! In my country (Netherlands) many feel you should give birth at home, unless...unless there is any fear of complication. And epidurals are frowned upon ( I did not care and had one) And then there is the whole breast feeding maffia. You did very well, and I am sure you never doubted whether the choice was right. x
I think the only shame i feel with the c-section is that i never felt how it was like to hold my baby after birth. i feel and will always feel like i missed something and watching this image made me cry. i think it's gorgeous. but you are right, i have no shame in my scar...
I truly hope you don't have shame. Birth, which ever way, is magical and beautiful. Even when it's scary, like my daughter's was. She wasn't breathing and I didn't get to hold her either. So I know how you feel there. All is well now though. I hold her ever the more now that she grows and fills my life with love and all things little girls are. x I hope one day you will get over the feeling you missed something. Try and fill that empty spot with the love you have now. xx
I am thankful. every day!
Ayelet, be thankful for what you do have. Many women don't get the opportunity to have children at all, so the fact that you had a healthy baby is a gift you should cherish.
A hug for you Ayelet x
Personally I wanted a natural birth so bad that even 13 months later I question whether or not the c section was the right thing even though my Dr said it was an emergency. I do feel ashamed and less of a woman because my body couldn't do it naturally. I am not sure why I feel this way exactly but I think it mostly stems from everyone consistently telling me that my body "was made for this [natural birth]." Even my own mom's response when we told her we had to have an emergency c-section were "are you sure you HAVE to?" Like she thought I was opting for an easy way out. (After 21 hours of labor) In the end I'm glad we did it because my baby boy is perfect, healthy, and the love of my life but I will always feel like I am somehow flawed for not being able to "do the job properly."
Clearly there are people and communities that still need a lot of love and education Tiffany, believe me, I ...from my perspective and part of the world, find it unbelievable that any woman should ever feel shame or even feel cheated. I hope that you do understand that there is no right or wrong way to do the job. Unless you conciously sabotage your baby by drinking, smoking or doing drugs. Enjoy your baby, you have done a perfect job! X
I am glad you didn't feel shame, but shame after a c section very much exists. This article did not bring up a new phenomenon. I felt shame after my C section.
I have a really hard time with having had a c section, in a lot of ways. I feel like I cheated, despite still not being quite back to normal almost a year later (random weird abdominal pains near my scar, etc). And several people commented that I got "The easy way out".
"I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever...." Well, now you have...me. I was young and due to 2 breech births back in the 70's, I had to have 2 C-sections. One scar is vertical, the other horizontal, and I hate them both. I love my 2 daughters with all my heart, but felt the scars were disfiguring.
I am sorry that you did....but probably: you would do it all over again for them. I have no problem with scars, I find them often so human and endearing and showing our human vulnaribility...they tell a story and my scars do so too. The one that saved my life, is very ugly....but the story is much more profound than it may seem. It saved my life in more than one way and I never ever saw it as ugly. ;-) And believe me, it is not very pretty...If someone would make a remark, I would not be offended, not everyone deserves a full explanation;-)))
Imagine the surprise when me and my friend finally spoke about this and realized we both where ashamed of our c-sections. We both felt we had somehow failed and where lesser woman for not being able to give birth naturally. For almost 2 years we did´t know we shared that feeling. For me it´s been 4 years now and it still feels the same...Still the same grief that I could´t do it, and now it´s been fueled by c-sec nr. 2 as my body still would´t work right the second time.... So yes..... some woman are ashamed....
"I never heard of any woman who was ashamed of this...ever.." Well now you have. Me. I had 2 C-sections, both in the 70's. I was young and due to breech births, had to have the C-sections instead. One scar is up and down, the other is across, and I hate them both. I love my girls with all my heart, but hate having those disfiguring scars.
I wasn't lucky enough to get pregnant in the first place (despite lots of trying) but, if I had, I would of had to have a section (as I don't have a cervix). What I'm saying is having a wonderful, precious, healthy baby is the important part and not how it comes into the world. Nobody should feel ashamed of not being able to do it naturally - you do what's best for mum and baby at the time.
To be fair, some woman who push the baby out do judge those who have c-sections. WHY they judge them is beyond me, not every woman is able to give birth in the 'normal' way, for health reasons, and what about when the life of the mother and/or the baby are at serious risk by doing so. C-sections are a wondrous thing and in no way lessen the experience. People who judge must be very very perfect and healthy.
Actually, a man told me I should be embarrassed to show my scar. I was wearing a bikini. He said scars were horrible to look at. I was never ashamed!
Who ever that man was should have been embarrassed to say such a crude, rude and non of his damn business remark. Humph on him. What a dumb (F) Cluck.
There is no reason whatsoever to be ashamed. You gave birth to a baby. You chose not to destroy the baby and keep him. That is something beautiful. It doesn't matter how your baby is born. It just matters that the baby was born.
Perfect imperfection.
Oh it's just a scar, and let me tell you that shit hurts afterwards....bad....I used to cry for a couple minutes before I got up to go to the bathroom because it hurt so damn bad. But I did it and I got my son so it was all worth it. Quite frankly I could care a less about the subject and the simple fact someone thought they needed to show what some women have to go thru or whether or not you can have a natural birth or how people feel about it, and now I'm no longer making sense because this is just stupid. I'm sick of everyone trying to critique everything in life to where it's all just getting soooo boring. Instead of trying to figure everything out just live and be happy.
I have had both a C-section & a natural birth & it really didn't matter to me how my children came out just as long as they were healthy & now my youngest daughter has just had a C-section with her third baby & it is all rather wonderful I now have 2 daughters & 4 granddaughters. SO it does not matter HOW you have your children C-section, natural or even if someone else has them for you, the important thing is the child in your arms. Don't ever listen to or believe small minded people who sit in judgement on other peoples lives, they just have nothing better to do with their time & they derive pleasure from making others feel small, don't give them that power.
I had 36 hours of labor before my c section, I earned those scars and I am proud of them.
If it wasn't for a good doctor and C-section my son would have died or suffered major cerebral hypoxia. The umbilical cord was coiled around his neck and no ultrasound scan was able to show it so nobody knew it until the labor started. So i will not let anyone tell me that i did something wrong or that "it wasn't a real, proper labor". What's wrong with this people?
I choose to C-S for my twins even though I hv a choice to go natural cause its tough enough to go through IVF. Another reason is (we can) still be able enjoy sex aft birth. Cheers!
My wife's scar is teeny...no need for shame. A person came out of there!
A C section saves lives. It is a shame that many women lost their lives before the c section was introduced to medical science. Everyone has scars whether they are physical or emotional. They are a testament of time, the things we go through as humans...
Does it matter which way the baby is born as long as mother and baby are both okay afterwards.
It is great that they are both alive and healthy.
Lovely :)
I didn't know that you can "decide" to have a baby naturally?! From my own experience, it is expected of a mother to give birth vaginally and then when you can't, a c-section is a last resort. Then when you undergo the life saving procedure.
Not true. My Aunt "Chose" to have C Section for convenience sake. She did not want to "Push the baby out". I'm sure not all Doctors out there allow this.. I don't know. Hers did. She had 2 C Sections by choice. No need & no emergency.
Nah... alot of women have sections, mostly for selfish reasons, like not wanting their twats stretched out as they should
Sorry about the multiple posts, don't know what happened.
There is no reason to put your kid's face all over your vagina.
I had one child naturally and the 2nd emergency C-section. However, baby comes out, as long as both mum and child are well - there is no shame.
Caesarean unite !
As a c-section mommy...hear hear!
when i give birth to my 1st child, it was through assisted birthing - vacuum process. after 30 hours of labour they wrote in my baby book: 'vacuum - poor performance. mother lacked effort'. that really hurt. i may not have visible scar, but it hurt all the same..
sorry, i count it wrong, 18 hour and 45 minutes of labour
I have had 3 kids, 2 sections, 1 vaginal. Notice I didn't say "natural"....all births are a product of Nature, so to me they are all natural. To be ashamed of how your baby was brought into the world is not necessary. You carried that child for 9 months, protected that child with your body. That is natural. Complications during labor may not seem natural, but if you think about it, it's your bodies way of saying Hey-help me out here. Let the shame go....I feel proud to have brought 3 wonderful lives into this world; that's what matters.
it is a tragic thing when women, attack other women
It's all these little things that make you who you are. Nobody should be afraid to hide them. X
What struck me most, was the size of the baby resting on its mother. To imagine that baby being born at all, demands respect... Personally, whether a baby is born by way of the vagina or by way of a surgeons scalpel, the fact that a baby has come from inside a woman is awesome in itself... That a baby of that size can come from a small opening, whether natural or not is miraculous. This is a gift of life and each and every woman should feel immensely proud of that.
Never Hurt your Mother, Never Hurt your parent, This is what they through to bring you in this world.
Beautiful shot - healthy baby - nice neat scar - Congrats. New Mum!
The only ones who I have ever heard of being criticized are those that DO 'schedule' their C-section, for convenience of themselves or worse- the doctor of choice.
Same here. Only the ones that do it by choice. I don't think anyone in their right mind would judge a woman for having a life saving procedure.
Cam someone shoot photo with a newborn and placenta, to show what newborn had to go through ?
Never felt ashamed, but after my second was born (VBAC) I, sadly, did feel more accomplished having been able to deliver vaginally....I am thankful for the midwife in attendance who helped me during labor, as she realized what I needed in order to avoid a second c-section, and I feel blessed to have been able to experience both.
چه کنم انگلیسی بلد نیستم...
I thought you weren't supposed to shave your bush during pregnancy, that it could endanger the baby ??
It was likely shaved for the c section...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
just another excuse to print a picture of a nude woman
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Its time doctors started looking at working with the Mums instead of jumping to the knife so quick.