Divorce is one of the most difficult tribulations a family can go through, but unless you’ve experienced it first-hand, it’s hard to visualize exactly how much damage it causes. An artist known only by the pen-name ‘Mac’ has illustrated how divorce affected their family in a simple, yet deeply saddening comic, and it’s guaranteed to give you all the feels you never asked for today.
While it’s true that every family deals with divorce differently, and some families even come out better and stronger after it all, an overwhelming number of Internet users identified strongly with the sordid tale of ‘Mac’ and his crumbling surroundings. “This should be required reading before having children,” one even wrote. We’ve collected accounts from some of these users to show both sides of this often bittersweet story.
See it for yourself below, and if you feel comfortable sharing, tell us how your family handled ‘the great divide’ in the comments.
Some people related to the comic strongly
While others had a much different experience
What does divorce mean to you? Tell us below!
As Tolstoy said, every family is unhappy their own way. Each family's situation is different, therefore we can't bash divorce as a neccessarily evil thing. Also there are couples who stay friends even after divorce. It's a thing you cannot generalise even if you try really hard.
exactly Daria, as a divorced man, i know that's not a thing you can generalise. not always the families break itself with divorce, many times come broken long time ago, or lot of issues different every case......
Load More Replies...My parents divorced before I turned 1 and remarried by the time I was 3. It was the best thing that they could have done. It was a toxic relationship, and they have been married now for 34 and 35 years. I wouldn't trade my "step" parents for anything. There was plenty of tough moments growing up, but as we got older it was great. My siblings that aren't related, treat each other like brothers and sisters. I think as long as the parents do everything they can to make easier for the kids involved, it will be ok. Parents need to talk to their kids about whats going on and make sure that the kids are doing ok.
"I think as long as the parents do everything they can to make easier for the kids involved, it will be ok"....... Great thougt, Joe, i agree...
Load More Replies...Patchwork families are nothing uncommon nowadays. I understand that the divorce can be traumatizing, but it can also be a relief. The perception of divorce or breaking up is different in every single situation and not always has to be as sad as presented. Of course it turns the world upside down, but there are ways to make it work. Neglecting the child after divorce is a different matter, which should not take place at any moment in my opnion. And kids with "double" parents often have twice more fun!
Sometimes divorce is not the worst outcome for a child. The only memories I have about my parents being together is constantly fighting and yelling at each other. I was so glad when they finally broke up.
Exactly! I divorced before my son's 2nd year - we fought constantly and my ex used bad words, I was unhappy and depressed. My son grew up without father but in a calm and loving environment and is now the best child ever! He does not remember his father and I happy for that. There was physical violence too while we were married. No matter what divorce is much better!
Load More Replies...It is not fair to say that this is what "divorce" does. People divorce for so many reasons and with such different results that you can't really generalize. This scenario definitely does happen but it's not applicable to all divorces.
This isn't about divorce at all. This is about indifferent and selfish parents, who would put their own desires above the needs of their own children. Such people are plain DESPICABLE and should be summarily castrated. Thankfully not every mother and father is a shitbag useless prick like these ones.
Right. Because growing up in a house where the parents hate each other..or screw around..or drink constantly...or scream and yell...or hit each other...is such a healthy environment. NOTHING screwed my my young self and my sibs than the fact that my parents stayed together "for the kids".
Load More Replies...My wife walked out and gave up custody of our 3 girls. That was 12 years ago. She is $50,000 behind in court ordered child support. I would be in jail if I was $50k behind in child support.
That's terrible. When my parents divorced the courts gave my dad the rights to be my primary carer. I lived with him for 5 days and my mum on weekends, Basically unheard of. My brother's ex has stopped him from seeing my nephew for no reason, and the courts refuse to do anything. I feel sorry for dads, you don't get enough credit
Load More Replies...Okay no. As a child of divorce this is an awful comic. It portrays divorce as a bad thing and it isn't.
also, it stereotypises men as being at fault. Shame.
Load More Replies...I wished my parents did a divorce.. it was an awfull family in wich i grew up
My mom left my alcoholic father after wasting 14 years and a lot of money (when she came back after 6 months from Kosovo she only had 5€s on her bank account). She said the only good thing about it was me. For us it was relief, I had asthma while they were together and after we moved I almost instantly got better. We still had and have some problems but we are definitely better.
My parents divorced when I was around 11. My dad was an alcoholic and could get pretty aggressive while drunk so... They just stayed together till we (me and 2 brothers) were old enough to understand more about the divorce. We all stayed with mom though, just visiting him weekly/monthly. My mom's gf moved in with us and she hated all 3 of us from the start so.... I've never called her my stepmom because she's not and she'll never be. Meanwhile my dad got a gf too, also hates my guts for no reason. She claimed I was rude to her (I was a bit spooked when she answered the phone instead of my dad when I had just found out about him having a gf, but I was never rude.) I wanted both my parents to be happy with their new partners, I never had anything against that but I just couldn't handle it anymore at some point, having both parents' gfs hate me and I had too much other c**p in my life going on so I just stopped seeing my father.
Tried to get back in touch at some point but he didn't really react to it so I just gave up. But now 11 years later, at the baptism of my nephew, they were taking group pictures and my sis-in-law stood next to my dad to get their pic taken. My grandfather saw that, pointed at me, then pointed at my dad so I was like "meh" but he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to my dad to take our pic together. And then me and my dad talked it over so... It'll never be the same again but atleast I can just talk to my dad now. And we meet up every other week when we're going to my grandparents now.
Load More Replies...Divorce can be painful but staying together because of the children is worse in my opnion. I would never teach my children it's ok to stay in a relationship that isn;t going anywhere.
There's a big difference between a relationship that isn't going anywhere and abuse. For the latter, there's a clear reason why it might be best to end it. If the relationship has merely lost its sizzle, you can and often will get it back when the kids are older.
Load More Replies...This is so stupid. The assumption that infidelity is the only reason for divorcing someone and the assumption that the parent who leaves is going to abandon the children.
..... and the assumption that it's always the man who causes the problem. It's popular to blame males for all evil these days.
Load More Replies...Why is this dingbat family standing on crappy two piece bridge anyway? Never very stable to begin with....
That was my first thought when I looked at it! It seems the marriage was on poor foundation to begin with!
Load More Replies...the comment about the kids hugging the mom to glue her heart back together is so sweet. I have seen what divorced parents can do to a kid, but it might be for the best in some situations where it was a toxic relationship. Screaming matches and hating each other is so much worse for kids to see and hear then a divorce and step-parents (if the step parents actually care about the kid.)
As a child of a divorced couple I miss the part when the parents fight against each other are more important than anything and the kids are only tools in their war at best.
my stepfather was a d!ck. i was only 4-5 when my parents divorce and i feel guilty. actually my parents were practically forced to married because my mother got pregnant and their familys are very conservative catholic and they were worry about " what other people think , of a unmarried 19 year old single mother". i suffer my dad was never there . then he died when i was 13 so i dont even remember his face.
My parents separated when I was 8, after a year of family violence culminating into the police being called and protection orders being granted. My mother, my 2 sisters and I were forced to leave the household and lead a nomadic life for a year before there was a place to stay. I was in court at the grand age of 10 being interviewed by a judge about whether maintenance was sufficient, and the court had such faith in my mother's care for us that by the time I was 11, it was ordered that I deal with my own finances with maintenance from the father deposited directly into my account. My mother refused to pay us any money insisting that my father be asked for that expense, and my father would do the same. I was ricochet back and forth between 2 households because my mother felt that I was the ideal 'spy' to feed her with evidence of my father's expenses so that that could go into the affidavit. That continued until I was 13 until I swore to have nothing to do with them.
As a woman who married TWO jerks, I can tell you that hard as it was on the kids, it would have been a HELL of a lot harder to stay married to their worthless alcoholic father. AND I really should never have married the 2nd one (sociopathic liar) but did see the light - the kids were very glad to see the last of him. Staying together is NOT always the best thing. Period.
Sad... but very true. My parents divorced and my brothers and I where left to fend for ourselves as mother found codependency in men. As an adult, I married and as a result of my husbands cheating, divorced. My ex husband has now started his third family post divorce and I have stayed committed to my children. My children come first to me as long as they require my support. I will find a new partner some day, but not yet.
Nice stereotyping of the man as the culprit. Looks like the makings of a solid million dollar research.
Kind of sexist that it's the man going to a new woman. Women cheat just as much as men do. Ask me about my ex-wife!
Actually in this time and age women cheat more. And initiate divorce more often.
Load More Replies...This for sure is one of the stupidest things I've been seeing recently : my brother and I are children of divorced parents, we are both very happy. Both of parents have started a new life with new mates. And guess what? We have half brothers, half sisters... and we are all together at Xmas ! so the point is : are people clever or not. Simple as that.
I can definitely relate to this. Both of my parents remarried and both step-parents were extremely abusive in their own way. We weren't their kids and they didn't care about us and our parents now as adults care more about their new families and me and my brother are sort of just half-baked accidental disappointments it feels like. We are damaged as s**t. :/
my ex abandoned me and our 3 disabled children for the single life after 19 years of marriage. I can related to these pictures as well. he dumped the kids and I and is happy as hell, but the only difference is I will never abandon my children and am going back to school, while he parties and acts like a child. when I am old I can look back on my life and live with what I have done
I don't think it's fair to either parent in this "cartoon" getting a divorce and then finding someone else who can make you happy doesn't mean you are abandoning your other children. Now that isn't to say that it doesn't happen but it also isn't the norm either. This just seems like it's trying to guilt parents that get a divorce and that isn't right, my fiance and his ex wife seprated because they were bad and toxic for one another and would have done more damage to their girls if they had stayed together. And as a step mother I make sure that their father and I are very much apart of their lives.
Then there are the divorces that really mean a person is taking themselves and their children out of an abusive situation. In that picture, that family would be like a prison full of torture, and the divorce would be freedom and safety.
"“This should be required reading before having children,” one even wrote." If people had more of a personal balance between what feels good (cheating, having kids to feel loved when a spouse is distant, using up the family's money on hobbies) and compassion (responsibility towards a spouses needs, paying your bills, raising your kids to be good people that know they are loved) towards others that are close to them, divorce doesn't have to happen. I am glad that some people can come out of divorce ok but self awareness (knowing who you are and what you want out of life) before you even get married is a better preventative measure.
Families handle divorce in certain ways. Some end happy and others end in heart break. For the Families that end in heart break the kids usually get the short end of the stick whether one parent tries to be the friend and blames the other parent for not parenting well enough, or one of the Parents search too hard for a companion because they don't see how there kids could help them to heal when really the mom or dad can heal with the kids instead of finding ways out. (speaking from experience: Parents will always tell the kids it's not their fault but then will never spend enough time with their kids to make sure they turn out okay, I'm as well as I can be, but my brother is still suffering and won't talk to anyone about it T.T)
Not me exactly, but my parents were both divorced once before they found each other and have children from the previous marriages. It was pretty tough for some of my older siblings when their parents divorced and my sister didn't accept my dad (her stepdad) for a long time but none of the ex-partners abandoned their children and we're now all getting along well as a big patchwork family
It's a metaphor. The original kids fall harder then the parents do. Sadly this is exactly what happened to me and my brother. Dad goes off with another woman who already had a kid from a previous relationship (he gets taken care of by my father), then the mom seeks adult companionship, and the two original kids are left to fend for themselves. At least they have each other.
Load More Replies...I used to WISH my parents would divorce. Ok, I also used to wish my father would die in a fiery wreck.... Anything to stop the abuse. Mom knew what was happening - broken fingers, nose, toes, bruised kidneys, cracked ribs....and kicked me out of the house at 17 because she "didn't want to deal with my whining".
Sometimes divorce is just a legal acknowledgment of a marriage that died a while ago. Time to give it a dignified funeral
Based on the last research I saw, as of about 2015, women and men are unfaithful at about the same rates, and women initiate divorce about 70% of the time. But you'd never get that impression from the cartoon.
Cartoon isn't about who started it it is about what happens in the end. The Siblings fall and together they are left behind.
Load More Replies...I look at that comic different. Maybe they shouldn't have been using their children to try to glue their broken marriage together and the kids wouldn't have fallen. If you look, happier dad and lady to the left now have a kid who they aren't dangling over a ravine.
Because you asked ... https://manwithblackhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/20-years-after-divorce-and-culture-of.html
my dad adopted me when i was 3.. he had 5 other kids with my mom who had me with someone else when she was a teen. so my new dad was my stepdad. anyway, years pass and he made me feel very out of place.. even told me im not his real daughter and that hes just a guy who lives w me.. a few more years later n he and my mom are split up.. he now never speaks to me.. but talks to his real kids and takes them places
Clearly , conceived and illustrated by a woman. What about the scenario where the family is together and happy , then the woman meets a new guy , takes the kids , and leaves the husband to fall down the crevasse. Happens that way more than the ladies like to admit.
vows go out the window ..... for better or for worse ..... before a divorce .... is not what our vows say
I was happy when my father moved out, but after 20 years I still have abandonment issues. He destroyed our family. He could have tried better, my mother was a good wife. It was his ego and his penis that were more important than his family. It's always bad for children, even if they feel relief. It's not about divorce itself, it's about the whole situation.
I was so glad when my mom and dad divorced. He was an alcoholic and I didn't really like him anymore. My mom and my sisters and even my great-aunt who lived with us at the time, grew very close. That is until my mom met "the love of her life". Older sister moved out eventually, great aunt moved as well. I had massive emotional problems and got pregnant young so that I could get out of the house. The only one it seemed not to affect was my younger ssster. I don't know which was worse....the alcohlic father or the way my mom started treating us after meeting the man of her dreams?!
This is not accurate at all. In my case, mi ex wife cheated on me, and I kept my daughter becoming a single father, and I have not have another relationship. I am perfectly happy alone, and busy raising my daughter. This drawings are sexist and I feel offended by them.
My ex and I are divorced. It isn't always like this. My kids have 3 parents who are there for them. When one of us can't make to something they always have someone who can. We are all there for them to support them. We co-parent well. We divorced each other, not the kids.
My parents divorced and I haven't seen my dad in 3 years he lives in England and has started an entirely new life and my mum is always fighting with my stepdad.
My parents divorced when I was 10, my dad had been having an affair with someone at work for years. After he left my siblings and I never saw him again, he was allowed visitation but chose not to see us. Also when he moved out he took all the best furniture with him and left us with next to nothing.
I relate, except in my case my ex-wife was doing the cheating, which is quite often the case. And I made sure that my son was never left feeling forgotten, ever.
oh, shut the f**k up. the tragedy in this is that the parents care more for their love lives than their children. a divorce between unhappy parents is much healthier than "staying together for the kids." Would you rather a child be subjected daily to the idea that that's all love and marriage can be- suffering for the sake of others?
When my parents got divorced it was such a relief. They did do it calmly and quietly. And just such a RELIEF. No more hissed " polite" fights , the release in tension. Both parents ended up much happier.
There's a lot more I am not going to go into here. Of simmering unhappy parents affected us kids.
Load More Replies...The day that evil bastard left us was the best day of our lives. He beat us mercilessly and no one would help us. I only wish he had left sooner.
Very true. My parents divorced when I was 5, he left my mom for a woman 20 years younger. had 4 more kids. My mom remarried an alcoholic, had 2 More kids. I agree w Dr Laura, after divorce, wait until your kids are 18 before you openly date, (do discreetly outside of kid’s observation), focus on your kids, not your dating life, romantic life.
Divorce is nothing but selfish stupidity coming from somebody who never learned to create or build.
My brothers and I were pretty young when our parents divorced. Our father was an alcoholic, abusive and a womanizer. My mother kicked him out when we children were 3, 4 and 5, in 1954. He and his girlfriend's first baby was born before our parents divorce was even final. A couple of years later our mother remarries. Our stepfather became the most iimportant person in our lives. He took us (another man's broken refuse) and made us feel like we belonged to him as if we were his own flesh and blood. He was the most wonrderful man I have ever known. We only had 12 years with him before he died, but wihout his influence in those short years, my brothers and I would have been lost souls. So, in the end, the loss of our bio father was our gain.
Dear pandas, I relate to this, but the other WAY. Had a great relationship with my little girl (platonic relation with wife in the last 2 years - guessing/thinking that she's cheating), until i found out that the woman i married had a double life, cheating me with different people along my marriage, destroying and stealing my companies. Now i am in the process of a divorce where i try to get my daughter out and her mom faking a "good life" for her daughter in order to get as much money as possible from me. (we're talking a lot of wealth here). I'm hurt, my daughter is lied i'm gonna die and is told she has to forget everything about me as i will be dead soon. Had 2 assassination attempts on me that police did no s**t about it. I see a lot of people getting along - this is super! Try to involve a lot of money and a psycho woman and you'll get another story.
My situation was different. I planned ahead. My children, and I, survived--and thrived.
Monogamy violates human nature, Marriage is a social construct developed by a patriarchal society, nuptial 'exclusivity' breeds treachery, and the assertion that people who don't want to be together, are toxic together, or are just not meant to be together, are obligated to stay together 'for the family' is far more destructive than separation.
https://www.thespruce.com/children-of-divorce-in-america-statistics-1270390 In case anyone didn't know, you might want to lookup the stats for life outcomes of children of divorce.....hint: it's not good
The problem with most of those statistics is, that we cannot know what the statistics would be if those divorces they studied never happened. In case you were wondering, the statistics of a children in an abusive home are worse. making a value judgment based of rote statistics, using what are in all probability cherry picked to make the other's point, is quite frankly, stupid. every person is different, therefore, every marriage is different, and every divorce is equally different.
Load More Replies...When my parents divorced, I was relieved (I was 11). One parent was an alcoholic; their marriage was abusive physically and emotionally. I spent five years always on edge, unable to sleep at night with all the fighting, never knowing what I was going to come home to every day after school. There was far too much water under the bridge by the time the alcoholic parent got sober, for that marriage to be saved. Life was much happier and calmer when both my parents were free to start again, away from each other.
I think these pictures are from the perspective of a little child. Even if the parents do their best to care for the children when they divorce, kids often feel like their world has ended or been ripped in half. Kids also tend to feel at fault when their parents divorce, even if there are no screaming matches or hostility. So for the people saying that this isn't accurate -- it's from the subjective emotions of little kids. Most kids would want their parents to stay together and just work on their relationship so there would be no reason for divorce.
I think this post is a bad joke for people who have not only experienced divorce as a child or as an adult (their own). Never did I think this could be so stereotyped and plain wrong.... there are TOO many reasons for a divorce and they do not imply "leaving your family for some "broad""....... sad....
My parents divorced when it was the new thing, early 70's because my mom didn't want to be married anymore. The thought at that time was A)kids are resilient B)if the parents were happy, then everyone would be happy. That was the most self serving load of b******t ever invented simply to absolve both parties of guilt/culpability. My mom immediately moved her loser bf into the house, so much for "not wanting to be married" He managed to sexually abuse both me and my sister. He was in the house for 5 years and left shortly before my 13th birthday. I told my mother, right after he was gone, and she didn't believe me. My dad remarried a woman who hated kids until she didn't and then she ran to the sperm bank to get knocked up. My dad had a vasectomy. It then was obvious that really, she hated my dad's children. I built my own family, first through friends, then through my husband and children. It still hurts sometimes so yes, DIVORCE SUCKS!
Too bad my ex was a Pathological lying narcissist who got our son taken away and then abandoned him when I got him back. Some people put themselves in positions that make their kids hate them.
My mom has blamed me for her divorce - which was a long time coming - since 1996. She blames me for my father coming home on Christmas Eve, after abandoning us for the fourth? fifth? time and taking all of his Christmas presents. She blames me for him leaving because when he told me he was leaving us, for good this time, I kicked him and refused to come back out of my room. She blames me for visiting him when I legally did not have a choice. She abused me for years but holds herself on a pedestal, and anything questioning her narrative is "crazy". I don't care if I caused the divorce. He cheated on her for years. He threatened to molest his best friend's daughter, a 9 y/o, to teach my mom a lesson. He stole all her money. He stole our lives. He stole any chance of my being happy. But at least he got his Christmas presents, right? I should have f*****g kicked him harder.
My parents divorced when it was the new thing, early '70's.The concept was that kids were resilient and if the parents were happy, then the kids would follow. That was a load of self serving b******t if ever there was one. I was 7, my sister 3. It sucked hard. My dad hung in there as the weekend dad for a number of years and my mom immediately moved her loser bf into the house(who managed to sexually abuse me and my sister until he left just shy of my 13th birthday) My dad remarried when I was 12 to a woman who A)didn't like kids b) didn't want kids c)was 12 years younger then my dad. She was a b***h and remains so to this day. They have been married almost 40 years and she has my pops on a short leash. Now that she finally retired, he has dropped his weekly phone calls to me and my sister and resorted to email. He comes and visits his grandson(15 &17) without her and has managed to not be able to attend any of my my niece's birthday parties(she is turning 5)
This is exactly what my divorce was like, except I picked up my son and walked the other way. We were both broken and the only thing that kept me together was him (because he was my actual heart - still is). Eventually I fell in love again and we have all three been together for nearly 14 years. The saddest part is my ex rarely if ever see’s our son and he and his new family live quite happily without him. Being abandoned did a real number on our son, and to this day he has attachment/separation issues with me. I guess because I’m literally the only person in his life he knows will never ever leave.
divorce is a problem because you guys watched way too many TV dramas or soap operas, or thinks that it is a problem. seriously, it is not big of a deal. When I was 5, my mother went to the US to study, and I was in Beijing, China with my father. While my mother is in the US, she met another man, who is now my step father, and my father met another woman, who is now my step mother. My parent later discovered this and they had a fight, and they got divorced. Fast forward to modern day, my mother and my stepmom became BFFs, and my step father and my father became good buddies that can chat random stuff over coffee. There is even one time when everyone got together and went to a restaurant belonged to my step father's ex-wife, who, btw, is also good friends with my mother. Yes, this relationships is pretty complicated but easy to understand. So, why are you guys still think a divorce is a problem? Maybe you guys should just stop being over dramatic over this and everything will be fine.
I was 10 when I lost my mom, so I didn't get the divorced heartbreak. Others told me divorce was worse but I couldn't imagine it; at least their parent was still alive I used to say. Where there's life, there's always hope. I know better now. I do understand being carted around, being introduced to another family of a woman my dad was dating who could be my new family now. Awkward is a good word to describe it.
See how it feels on a 11 year old, when the dad doesn't know, for two years it went on, I'm only 12 now, terrified, scared, of what will come next, I wanted to murder that man, I still do, he calls me his daughter, I'm terrified
This is not so much about divorce as it is selfish a******s who married each other.
I don't know how to feel about this. I'm a divorced mother of two. I lived with my ex in our shared home on a different floor for 7 months after our separation to ease the transition on our children. I now have a loving, selfless partner whose world rises and falls on me and my children. My ex husband and I are close friends, and he and my new partner respect and even like each other. I suppose divorce is different for everyone, but we all made a point, and worked incredibly hard to make it easier on everyone involved.
For me divorce my parents was.. hard. My father was addicted of alcohol. My mam wanna be happy with someone else. So.. I was never told them that how mamy times I was cry about night. Now, dad gets better but mother wors. But I'm grown up to strong persor, because of them. I will thank them someday. They show me I can stand everything.
My mother was the one that left and broke the family up my father did everything he could do to keep a happy house while my mother and her d**k of a partner did everything to distroy it. These sexist bull s**t comics blame the male and it is discriminatory. When will woman and feminism take responsibility that they are just as much to blame!!!
My parent's divorce has been very smooth; they realized they just stopped loving each other and that they had become friends so when I turned eighteen they decided to divorce, they explained everything very clearly to my sister. They stayed very much friends and kept seing each other till today, they even rented flats next to each other for almost two years to make it easier for my little sister. I wish it happens like this in every family..
I spent my entire childhood without a farther... I never blamed anyone for his absence cause my mom told that he was absent because he got arrested trying to provide for his family and I admired that about him, being a farther trying to provide for his family. 10 years down the line he comes back from prison and I thought this was my chance to finally have a farther figure in my life... hardly 6 months out of prison he left us for another woman, told me if I ever needed anything he would be there for me but he just sold me false hope. I have to beg for his attention... I gave up on many things, dreams and aspirations. I feel like being artistic is a useless gift and I stopped drawing sketches (I used to turn art to cope with my frustrations but now that's gone my life is falling apart I can't cope anymore). I used to be a humble, quiet introvert but now I have become rude and just want to fight with everybody... it hurts even more when my mom can't understand my introverted nature and
Divorce to me means screaming for my dad at night at his gf family house because my little brother woke up and started crying and as a kid i didn't know how to calm him down. So i shouted "dad" but all i heard was an echo of my own voice in the house. He wasn't there. At that time i had no clue where he was sleeping and I didn't know that we were all alone in that part of the house. Can't remember when, but one of the other visits there i understood that there was another house across the yard where they slept. That night i felt like i was completely abandoned and am a bad child cuz i can't make my little brother stop crying...
I was going to post that I agree with this comic 100%, but then I read the comments. Some people agree with me and my experience. Others say that they wish their parents had gotten divorced. I don't think that we're really debating divorce. I think that we're discussing parents who put their own selfishness ahead of their kids' well-being. My parents spent years taking their anger at each other out on me. Let's not take out our anger at our parents on each other. Let's rise above that, and encourage each other. How about another comic showing parents fighting and the kids hiding behind the couch, and then we'll put both comics together with the title, "When the Children are Forgotten"?
This isn't painting an accurate picture of divorce, but rather two really s****y parents that have no business having kids. This tells more about the artist's family and their core beliefs than it says about relationships or families in general.
So what about the families where the mom divorces dad because of dissatisfaction....you know 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman and the vast majority of the time the reason cited is simply "dissatisfaction". It's so much easier to just divorce the husband and wring him for all of his worth and take his children away from him and maybe even throw in a false rape or child abuse charge to spice things up than it is to f*****g get couple's counseling and actually try and work things out for the life long mental health of the children.
I loved my children more than anything. I left my wife because of how she treated me and have not seen my children in 4 years. (Breaks my heart) but she stopped me and the only reason I don't try is because the youngest 2 have been calling another man father and I don't want to cause them problems. Trying to make my empire to leave something for them when I'm dead and gone
My second husband cheated. I'm seriously considering a divorce. We have no children together but my adult children are still very hurt. I wish I knew he wanted to keep trying but he's so closed off to me, I'm not sure I can do this by myself.
Everyone always shows the dude leaving. Deadbeat moms that leave for boyfriends are a lot more prevalent than are depicted. Don't get to see my kids and they are taught to hate by deadbeat mom. yeah screw this comic.
My only issue is the women is always being portrayed as the victim in the beginning. I get the children are the ultimate victims in this cartoon, but in my circumstance my father was the victim, my mother leaving him for another, leaving him with three boys, and forced to sell our home for alimony. My dad never remarried, barely ever dated anyone else.
Considering divorce is instigated by women 80% of the time, the cartoon is a joke
Parents divorced more than 10 years ago.. Dad remarried.. Mum did not.. we (children) still feel the impact of the divorce as there is never peace.. i am married now and i hope and pray divorce never happens.. i do not want my kids to go through what i and my siblings went through
I was lucky.. My parents divorced when I was 10 and it didn't really affect me. I never went onto drinking, drugs or causing trouble. But sometimes I think it's because before the divorced they were constantly shouting at each other, and after the divorce they decided to be friendly with each other for mine and my sister's sakes. We all spend Christmas day together and they were both present in the delivery room when my sister gave birth to my niece
I don't think it will be easier to give divorce to your wife or at least in India where you have to nearly donate half your property #sad
Children Remain the Responsibility of the Man ; both Financially and morally but they can stay with mom. even after divorce , divorce do not work if women is Pregnant , That is Actually in Islam. You can marry second women without divorcing the prior but here is a strong mandatory before doing this ; which is , you are in position to keep them 100% Equal , in love , residence , finance , every every thing.
It's not like this. It might be for some people but not like me. Or anyone I know. Sorry. But you have no idea.
Why does it automatically blame the man? Women are just a likely to cheat as a man. In a divorce, only the two people really know the cause. The rest of us just hear THEIR side of the story. "One is rarely in possession of all the facts." - Dowager Countess, Downton Abbey
Terribly simplistic. Worse than that, it's implying/generalising that it's always the husband who is at fault. Not so. It takes two to tango. Relationships often begin with individuals unconsciously choosing a partner who already represents their expectations - usually developed from experiencing the worst of his/her own parent(s). Ditto, their behaviour within the new relationship will be unconsciously based on how their own mum/dad behaved. Love cannot simplistically cure what happens next. They shape each other, filter out evidence contrary to inner messages like "all men are like that"/"I never get heard"/"this is an attack!" ... etc, misinterpret words and intentions, and the first flush of love shrivels. Children are a huge challenge too. Finally ... one or other seeks and finds love and kindness elsewhere. Not all men leave, not all children stay with mum. It's instructive that the artist depicts the marriage as already on a bridge with a pre-existing break. Why? I wonder.
I missed my father soo bad but at least the constant fighting was over. As I got older I just felt sad that he was all alone. When he finally remarried ( to a really boring woman - perfect for him) I was happy he no longer had to live alone. Meanwhile my mother created an amazing fun strange diverse intellectually stimulating world for my brother, sister & me in which to grow . All in all I'd say that was one successful divorce!
Many people think divorces are sad because "a happy marriage is ending" and yes, it is sad, but think of it this way: a BAD relationship is ending, so you should be happy for them. It's like when people are happy for someone who gets out of an abusive relationship. I am NOT saying that all marriages that end in divorce are abusive, but they obviously weren't good. Especially if you have children, you must still care for them. Do NOT think that you should "stay together for them". It is ultimately better to divorce, just don't forget that this is very tough for your kids.
Personally I find this to be completely sexist, it is not always the man that leaves the family for someone else
If there’s even a small possibility of divorce, you have no business getting married. Also, the kids are resilient and it’s not their marriage. The comic focuses on them when it’s the abandoned partner who was cheated on that has it the hardest.
My father left when I was a little girl never knew him. I was divorced I figured better alone than in pain. Divorce is never comfortable. Someone always suffers usually the children.
I was forced to get a divorce after 27 years of marriage...i truly was shocked when he walked out to stay with his parents! He, a grown man moved in with Mommy & Daddy...I was middle aged, and unable to find a job. He does give me alimony; which i must pay taxes on. The amount is the same that i was granted 12 years ago. No increase for inflation & i have as many bills as the next person. He eventually moved in with his lady friend (who looks like me almost.) It affected our kids, even though they were in their teens....A cult encouraged him to leave me and live with this other member of the cult....Divorce is so lazy..If someone "falls in love" with some else; they should get mental help. That is crazy and abnormal. What ever happened to marriage vows?
my family is doing a lot better since their mum and dad split. but we didn't neglect them after.
Stupid. It's not line that. And children can take advantage from it
This is happening to me right now, but as an adult I have different point of sight on it, so I try to relate to my parents. Try to understand them and try to understand that you can't or don't know how to stand someone else anymore. Still love both of them and need to see both of them happy, even if they are separated.
We had a very rocky marriage and after nearly 36 years, we called it quits. Our turmoil affected our son in ways that only started showing up after he was older. Now that we are divorced and live in different parts of the country, we are finally friends. Last summer, my son and I even had dinner with my ex and his new family when they were passing through our area on their vacation. (Vacation were something we never took when we were married either! His work was always too important.)
That's sad :( I've seen some divorces end real bad, others end ok for the most part. I know friends who have half siblings from their parents past relationships and wondered how that feels like. (But low key glad I dnt have tat kinda family drama They mention )
Its a shame that a philandering man is depicted as the cause and also that he deserts his children.There is plenty of infidelity on both sides. the majority of men stay in their children's lives and this just feeds the stereotype. Sad
Very one sided.Why is the male the one that has the affair,or is perceived to be the one that breaks the family .Absolute dross.
This is just one artist's experience. So chill the f*** out. Though I agree with your position. Women can be scum too.
Load More Replies...Divorce is the worst thing men kind invented after bombs and war and such stuff
Divorce is the worst thing men kind invented after off course war and bombs and stuff
I don't think all divorces and separations can be summed up in a single cartoon. There are parents who are just not able or willing to work through their differences- the idea of the Dad leaving the Mum for another woman is wrong and encourages the idea that one parent is at fault. Not all fathers abandon their children, some fight for the right to have contact with them. Whatever happens the child should come first.
Just gotta say, don't blame divorce, divorce is a good thing - always. You guys just had s****y f*****g parents. They wouldn't have been any better together than apart. Never stay together "for the kids/family" - that just doesn't work out.
As Tolstoy said, every family is unhappy their own way. Each family's situation is different, therefore we can't bash divorce as a neccessarily evil thing. Also there are couples who stay friends even after divorce. It's a thing you cannot generalise even if you try really hard.
exactly Daria, as a divorced man, i know that's not a thing you can generalise. not always the families break itself with divorce, many times come broken long time ago, or lot of issues different every case......
Load More Replies...My parents divorced before I turned 1 and remarried by the time I was 3. It was the best thing that they could have done. It was a toxic relationship, and they have been married now for 34 and 35 years. I wouldn't trade my "step" parents for anything. There was plenty of tough moments growing up, but as we got older it was great. My siblings that aren't related, treat each other like brothers and sisters. I think as long as the parents do everything they can to make easier for the kids involved, it will be ok. Parents need to talk to their kids about whats going on and make sure that the kids are doing ok.
"I think as long as the parents do everything they can to make easier for the kids involved, it will be ok"....... Great thougt, Joe, i agree...
Load More Replies...Patchwork families are nothing uncommon nowadays. I understand that the divorce can be traumatizing, but it can also be a relief. The perception of divorce or breaking up is different in every single situation and not always has to be as sad as presented. Of course it turns the world upside down, but there are ways to make it work. Neglecting the child after divorce is a different matter, which should not take place at any moment in my opnion. And kids with "double" parents often have twice more fun!
Sometimes divorce is not the worst outcome for a child. The only memories I have about my parents being together is constantly fighting and yelling at each other. I was so glad when they finally broke up.
Exactly! I divorced before my son's 2nd year - we fought constantly and my ex used bad words, I was unhappy and depressed. My son grew up without father but in a calm and loving environment and is now the best child ever! He does not remember his father and I happy for that. There was physical violence too while we were married. No matter what divorce is much better!
Load More Replies...It is not fair to say that this is what "divorce" does. People divorce for so many reasons and with such different results that you can't really generalize. This scenario definitely does happen but it's not applicable to all divorces.
This isn't about divorce at all. This is about indifferent and selfish parents, who would put their own desires above the needs of their own children. Such people are plain DESPICABLE and should be summarily castrated. Thankfully not every mother and father is a shitbag useless prick like these ones.
Right. Because growing up in a house where the parents hate each other..or screw around..or drink constantly...or scream and yell...or hit each other...is such a healthy environment. NOTHING screwed my my young self and my sibs than the fact that my parents stayed together "for the kids".
Load More Replies...My wife walked out and gave up custody of our 3 girls. That was 12 years ago. She is $50,000 behind in court ordered child support. I would be in jail if I was $50k behind in child support.
That's terrible. When my parents divorced the courts gave my dad the rights to be my primary carer. I lived with him for 5 days and my mum on weekends, Basically unheard of. My brother's ex has stopped him from seeing my nephew for no reason, and the courts refuse to do anything. I feel sorry for dads, you don't get enough credit
Load More Replies...Okay no. As a child of divorce this is an awful comic. It portrays divorce as a bad thing and it isn't.
also, it stereotypises men as being at fault. Shame.
Load More Replies...I wished my parents did a divorce.. it was an awfull family in wich i grew up
My mom left my alcoholic father after wasting 14 years and a lot of money (when she came back after 6 months from Kosovo she only had 5€s on her bank account). She said the only good thing about it was me. For us it was relief, I had asthma while they were together and after we moved I almost instantly got better. We still had and have some problems but we are definitely better.
My parents divorced when I was around 11. My dad was an alcoholic and could get pretty aggressive while drunk so... They just stayed together till we (me and 2 brothers) were old enough to understand more about the divorce. We all stayed with mom though, just visiting him weekly/monthly. My mom's gf moved in with us and she hated all 3 of us from the start so.... I've never called her my stepmom because she's not and she'll never be. Meanwhile my dad got a gf too, also hates my guts for no reason. She claimed I was rude to her (I was a bit spooked when she answered the phone instead of my dad when I had just found out about him having a gf, but I was never rude.) I wanted both my parents to be happy with their new partners, I never had anything against that but I just couldn't handle it anymore at some point, having both parents' gfs hate me and I had too much other c**p in my life going on so I just stopped seeing my father.
Tried to get back in touch at some point but he didn't really react to it so I just gave up. But now 11 years later, at the baptism of my nephew, they were taking group pictures and my sis-in-law stood next to my dad to get their pic taken. My grandfather saw that, pointed at me, then pointed at my dad so I was like "meh" but he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to my dad to take our pic together. And then me and my dad talked it over so... It'll never be the same again but atleast I can just talk to my dad now. And we meet up every other week when we're going to my grandparents now.
Load More Replies...Divorce can be painful but staying together because of the children is worse in my opnion. I would never teach my children it's ok to stay in a relationship that isn;t going anywhere.
There's a big difference between a relationship that isn't going anywhere and abuse. For the latter, there's a clear reason why it might be best to end it. If the relationship has merely lost its sizzle, you can and often will get it back when the kids are older.
Load More Replies...This is so stupid. The assumption that infidelity is the only reason for divorcing someone and the assumption that the parent who leaves is going to abandon the children.
..... and the assumption that it's always the man who causes the problem. It's popular to blame males for all evil these days.
Load More Replies...Why is this dingbat family standing on crappy two piece bridge anyway? Never very stable to begin with....
That was my first thought when I looked at it! It seems the marriage was on poor foundation to begin with!
Load More Replies...the comment about the kids hugging the mom to glue her heart back together is so sweet. I have seen what divorced parents can do to a kid, but it might be for the best in some situations where it was a toxic relationship. Screaming matches and hating each other is so much worse for kids to see and hear then a divorce and step-parents (if the step parents actually care about the kid.)
As a child of a divorced couple I miss the part when the parents fight against each other are more important than anything and the kids are only tools in their war at best.
my stepfather was a d!ck. i was only 4-5 when my parents divorce and i feel guilty. actually my parents were practically forced to married because my mother got pregnant and their familys are very conservative catholic and they were worry about " what other people think , of a unmarried 19 year old single mother". i suffer my dad was never there . then he died when i was 13 so i dont even remember his face.
My parents separated when I was 8, after a year of family violence culminating into the police being called and protection orders being granted. My mother, my 2 sisters and I were forced to leave the household and lead a nomadic life for a year before there was a place to stay. I was in court at the grand age of 10 being interviewed by a judge about whether maintenance was sufficient, and the court had such faith in my mother's care for us that by the time I was 11, it was ordered that I deal with my own finances with maintenance from the father deposited directly into my account. My mother refused to pay us any money insisting that my father be asked for that expense, and my father would do the same. I was ricochet back and forth between 2 households because my mother felt that I was the ideal 'spy' to feed her with evidence of my father's expenses so that that could go into the affidavit. That continued until I was 13 until I swore to have nothing to do with them.
As a woman who married TWO jerks, I can tell you that hard as it was on the kids, it would have been a HELL of a lot harder to stay married to their worthless alcoholic father. AND I really should never have married the 2nd one (sociopathic liar) but did see the light - the kids were very glad to see the last of him. Staying together is NOT always the best thing. Period.
Sad... but very true. My parents divorced and my brothers and I where left to fend for ourselves as mother found codependency in men. As an adult, I married and as a result of my husbands cheating, divorced. My ex husband has now started his third family post divorce and I have stayed committed to my children. My children come first to me as long as they require my support. I will find a new partner some day, but not yet.
Nice stereotyping of the man as the culprit. Looks like the makings of a solid million dollar research.
Kind of sexist that it's the man going to a new woman. Women cheat just as much as men do. Ask me about my ex-wife!
Actually in this time and age women cheat more. And initiate divorce more often.
Load More Replies...This for sure is one of the stupidest things I've been seeing recently : my brother and I are children of divorced parents, we are both very happy. Both of parents have started a new life with new mates. And guess what? We have half brothers, half sisters... and we are all together at Xmas ! so the point is : are people clever or not. Simple as that.
I can definitely relate to this. Both of my parents remarried and both step-parents were extremely abusive in their own way. We weren't their kids and they didn't care about us and our parents now as adults care more about their new families and me and my brother are sort of just half-baked accidental disappointments it feels like. We are damaged as s**t. :/
my ex abandoned me and our 3 disabled children for the single life after 19 years of marriage. I can related to these pictures as well. he dumped the kids and I and is happy as hell, but the only difference is I will never abandon my children and am going back to school, while he parties and acts like a child. when I am old I can look back on my life and live with what I have done
I don't think it's fair to either parent in this "cartoon" getting a divorce and then finding someone else who can make you happy doesn't mean you are abandoning your other children. Now that isn't to say that it doesn't happen but it also isn't the norm either. This just seems like it's trying to guilt parents that get a divorce and that isn't right, my fiance and his ex wife seprated because they were bad and toxic for one another and would have done more damage to their girls if they had stayed together. And as a step mother I make sure that their father and I are very much apart of their lives.
Then there are the divorces that really mean a person is taking themselves and their children out of an abusive situation. In that picture, that family would be like a prison full of torture, and the divorce would be freedom and safety.
"“This should be required reading before having children,” one even wrote." If people had more of a personal balance between what feels good (cheating, having kids to feel loved when a spouse is distant, using up the family's money on hobbies) and compassion (responsibility towards a spouses needs, paying your bills, raising your kids to be good people that know they are loved) towards others that are close to them, divorce doesn't have to happen. I am glad that some people can come out of divorce ok but self awareness (knowing who you are and what you want out of life) before you even get married is a better preventative measure.
Families handle divorce in certain ways. Some end happy and others end in heart break. For the Families that end in heart break the kids usually get the short end of the stick whether one parent tries to be the friend and blames the other parent for not parenting well enough, or one of the Parents search too hard for a companion because they don't see how there kids could help them to heal when really the mom or dad can heal with the kids instead of finding ways out. (speaking from experience: Parents will always tell the kids it's not their fault but then will never spend enough time with their kids to make sure they turn out okay, I'm as well as I can be, but my brother is still suffering and won't talk to anyone about it T.T)
Not me exactly, but my parents were both divorced once before they found each other and have children from the previous marriages. It was pretty tough for some of my older siblings when their parents divorced and my sister didn't accept my dad (her stepdad) for a long time but none of the ex-partners abandoned their children and we're now all getting along well as a big patchwork family
It's a metaphor. The original kids fall harder then the parents do. Sadly this is exactly what happened to me and my brother. Dad goes off with another woman who already had a kid from a previous relationship (he gets taken care of by my father), then the mom seeks adult companionship, and the two original kids are left to fend for themselves. At least they have each other.
Load More Replies...I used to WISH my parents would divorce. Ok, I also used to wish my father would die in a fiery wreck.... Anything to stop the abuse. Mom knew what was happening - broken fingers, nose, toes, bruised kidneys, cracked ribs....and kicked me out of the house at 17 because she "didn't want to deal with my whining".
Sometimes divorce is just a legal acknowledgment of a marriage that died a while ago. Time to give it a dignified funeral
Based on the last research I saw, as of about 2015, women and men are unfaithful at about the same rates, and women initiate divorce about 70% of the time. But you'd never get that impression from the cartoon.
Cartoon isn't about who started it it is about what happens in the end. The Siblings fall and together they are left behind.
Load More Replies...I look at that comic different. Maybe they shouldn't have been using their children to try to glue their broken marriage together and the kids wouldn't have fallen. If you look, happier dad and lady to the left now have a kid who they aren't dangling over a ravine.
Because you asked ... https://manwithblackhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/20-years-after-divorce-and-culture-of.html
my dad adopted me when i was 3.. he had 5 other kids with my mom who had me with someone else when she was a teen. so my new dad was my stepdad. anyway, years pass and he made me feel very out of place.. even told me im not his real daughter and that hes just a guy who lives w me.. a few more years later n he and my mom are split up.. he now never speaks to me.. but talks to his real kids and takes them places
Clearly , conceived and illustrated by a woman. What about the scenario where the family is together and happy , then the woman meets a new guy , takes the kids , and leaves the husband to fall down the crevasse. Happens that way more than the ladies like to admit.
vows go out the window ..... for better or for worse ..... before a divorce .... is not what our vows say
I was happy when my father moved out, but after 20 years I still have abandonment issues. He destroyed our family. He could have tried better, my mother was a good wife. It was his ego and his penis that were more important than his family. It's always bad for children, even if they feel relief. It's not about divorce itself, it's about the whole situation.
I was so glad when my mom and dad divorced. He was an alcoholic and I didn't really like him anymore. My mom and my sisters and even my great-aunt who lived with us at the time, grew very close. That is until my mom met "the love of her life". Older sister moved out eventually, great aunt moved as well. I had massive emotional problems and got pregnant young so that I could get out of the house. The only one it seemed not to affect was my younger ssster. I don't know which was worse....the alcohlic father or the way my mom started treating us after meeting the man of her dreams?!
This is not accurate at all. In my case, mi ex wife cheated on me, and I kept my daughter becoming a single father, and I have not have another relationship. I am perfectly happy alone, and busy raising my daughter. This drawings are sexist and I feel offended by them.
My ex and I are divorced. It isn't always like this. My kids have 3 parents who are there for them. When one of us can't make to something they always have someone who can. We are all there for them to support them. We co-parent well. We divorced each other, not the kids.
My parents divorced and I haven't seen my dad in 3 years he lives in England and has started an entirely new life and my mum is always fighting with my stepdad.
My parents divorced when I was 10, my dad had been having an affair with someone at work for years. After he left my siblings and I never saw him again, he was allowed visitation but chose not to see us. Also when he moved out he took all the best furniture with him and left us with next to nothing.
I relate, except in my case my ex-wife was doing the cheating, which is quite often the case. And I made sure that my son was never left feeling forgotten, ever.
oh, shut the f**k up. the tragedy in this is that the parents care more for their love lives than their children. a divorce between unhappy parents is much healthier than "staying together for the kids." Would you rather a child be subjected daily to the idea that that's all love and marriage can be- suffering for the sake of others?
When my parents got divorced it was such a relief. They did do it calmly and quietly. And just such a RELIEF. No more hissed " polite" fights , the release in tension. Both parents ended up much happier.
There's a lot more I am not going to go into here. Of simmering unhappy parents affected us kids.
Load More Replies...The day that evil bastard left us was the best day of our lives. He beat us mercilessly and no one would help us. I only wish he had left sooner.
Very true. My parents divorced when I was 5, he left my mom for a woman 20 years younger. had 4 more kids. My mom remarried an alcoholic, had 2 More kids. I agree w Dr Laura, after divorce, wait until your kids are 18 before you openly date, (do discreetly outside of kid’s observation), focus on your kids, not your dating life, romantic life.
Divorce is nothing but selfish stupidity coming from somebody who never learned to create or build.
My brothers and I were pretty young when our parents divorced. Our father was an alcoholic, abusive and a womanizer. My mother kicked him out when we children were 3, 4 and 5, in 1954. He and his girlfriend's first baby was born before our parents divorce was even final. A couple of years later our mother remarries. Our stepfather became the most iimportant person in our lives. He took us (another man's broken refuse) and made us feel like we belonged to him as if we were his own flesh and blood. He was the most wonrderful man I have ever known. We only had 12 years with him before he died, but wihout his influence in those short years, my brothers and I would have been lost souls. So, in the end, the loss of our bio father was our gain.
Dear pandas, I relate to this, but the other WAY. Had a great relationship with my little girl (platonic relation with wife in the last 2 years - guessing/thinking that she's cheating), until i found out that the woman i married had a double life, cheating me with different people along my marriage, destroying and stealing my companies. Now i am in the process of a divorce where i try to get my daughter out and her mom faking a "good life" for her daughter in order to get as much money as possible from me. (we're talking a lot of wealth here). I'm hurt, my daughter is lied i'm gonna die and is told she has to forget everything about me as i will be dead soon. Had 2 assassination attempts on me that police did no s**t about it. I see a lot of people getting along - this is super! Try to involve a lot of money and a psycho woman and you'll get another story.
My situation was different. I planned ahead. My children, and I, survived--and thrived.
Monogamy violates human nature, Marriage is a social construct developed by a patriarchal society, nuptial 'exclusivity' breeds treachery, and the assertion that people who don't want to be together, are toxic together, or are just not meant to be together, are obligated to stay together 'for the family' is far more destructive than separation.
https://www.thespruce.com/children-of-divorce-in-america-statistics-1270390 In case anyone didn't know, you might want to lookup the stats for life outcomes of children of divorce.....hint: it's not good
The problem with most of those statistics is, that we cannot know what the statistics would be if those divorces they studied never happened. In case you were wondering, the statistics of a children in an abusive home are worse. making a value judgment based of rote statistics, using what are in all probability cherry picked to make the other's point, is quite frankly, stupid. every person is different, therefore, every marriage is different, and every divorce is equally different.
Load More Replies...When my parents divorced, I was relieved (I was 11). One parent was an alcoholic; their marriage was abusive physically and emotionally. I spent five years always on edge, unable to sleep at night with all the fighting, never knowing what I was going to come home to every day after school. There was far too much water under the bridge by the time the alcoholic parent got sober, for that marriage to be saved. Life was much happier and calmer when both my parents were free to start again, away from each other.
I think these pictures are from the perspective of a little child. Even if the parents do their best to care for the children when they divorce, kids often feel like their world has ended or been ripped in half. Kids also tend to feel at fault when their parents divorce, even if there are no screaming matches or hostility. So for the people saying that this isn't accurate -- it's from the subjective emotions of little kids. Most kids would want their parents to stay together and just work on their relationship so there would be no reason for divorce.
I think this post is a bad joke for people who have not only experienced divorce as a child or as an adult (their own). Never did I think this could be so stereotyped and plain wrong.... there are TOO many reasons for a divorce and they do not imply "leaving your family for some "broad""....... sad....
My parents divorced when it was the new thing, early 70's because my mom didn't want to be married anymore. The thought at that time was A)kids are resilient B)if the parents were happy, then everyone would be happy. That was the most self serving load of b******t ever invented simply to absolve both parties of guilt/culpability. My mom immediately moved her loser bf into the house, so much for "not wanting to be married" He managed to sexually abuse both me and my sister. He was in the house for 5 years and left shortly before my 13th birthday. I told my mother, right after he was gone, and she didn't believe me. My dad remarried a woman who hated kids until she didn't and then she ran to the sperm bank to get knocked up. My dad had a vasectomy. It then was obvious that really, she hated my dad's children. I built my own family, first through friends, then through my husband and children. It still hurts sometimes so yes, DIVORCE SUCKS!
Too bad my ex was a Pathological lying narcissist who got our son taken away and then abandoned him when I got him back. Some people put themselves in positions that make their kids hate them.
My mom has blamed me for her divorce - which was a long time coming - since 1996. She blames me for my father coming home on Christmas Eve, after abandoning us for the fourth? fifth? time and taking all of his Christmas presents. She blames me for him leaving because when he told me he was leaving us, for good this time, I kicked him and refused to come back out of my room. She blames me for visiting him when I legally did not have a choice. She abused me for years but holds herself on a pedestal, and anything questioning her narrative is "crazy". I don't care if I caused the divorce. He cheated on her for years. He threatened to molest his best friend's daughter, a 9 y/o, to teach my mom a lesson. He stole all her money. He stole our lives. He stole any chance of my being happy. But at least he got his Christmas presents, right? I should have f*****g kicked him harder.
My parents divorced when it was the new thing, early '70's.The concept was that kids were resilient and if the parents were happy, then the kids would follow. That was a load of self serving b******t if ever there was one. I was 7, my sister 3. It sucked hard. My dad hung in there as the weekend dad for a number of years and my mom immediately moved her loser bf into the house(who managed to sexually abuse me and my sister until he left just shy of my 13th birthday) My dad remarried when I was 12 to a woman who A)didn't like kids b) didn't want kids c)was 12 years younger then my dad. She was a b***h and remains so to this day. They have been married almost 40 years and she has my pops on a short leash. Now that she finally retired, he has dropped his weekly phone calls to me and my sister and resorted to email. He comes and visits his grandson(15 &17) without her and has managed to not be able to attend any of my my niece's birthday parties(she is turning 5)
This is exactly what my divorce was like, except I picked up my son and walked the other way. We were both broken and the only thing that kept me together was him (because he was my actual heart - still is). Eventually I fell in love again and we have all three been together for nearly 14 years. The saddest part is my ex rarely if ever see’s our son and he and his new family live quite happily without him. Being abandoned did a real number on our son, and to this day he has attachment/separation issues with me. I guess because I’m literally the only person in his life he knows will never ever leave.
divorce is a problem because you guys watched way too many TV dramas or soap operas, or thinks that it is a problem. seriously, it is not big of a deal. When I was 5, my mother went to the US to study, and I was in Beijing, China with my father. While my mother is in the US, she met another man, who is now my step father, and my father met another woman, who is now my step mother. My parent later discovered this and they had a fight, and they got divorced. Fast forward to modern day, my mother and my stepmom became BFFs, and my step father and my father became good buddies that can chat random stuff over coffee. There is even one time when everyone got together and went to a restaurant belonged to my step father's ex-wife, who, btw, is also good friends with my mother. Yes, this relationships is pretty complicated but easy to understand. So, why are you guys still think a divorce is a problem? Maybe you guys should just stop being over dramatic over this and everything will be fine.
I was 10 when I lost my mom, so I didn't get the divorced heartbreak. Others told me divorce was worse but I couldn't imagine it; at least their parent was still alive I used to say. Where there's life, there's always hope. I know better now. I do understand being carted around, being introduced to another family of a woman my dad was dating who could be my new family now. Awkward is a good word to describe it.
See how it feels on a 11 year old, when the dad doesn't know, for two years it went on, I'm only 12 now, terrified, scared, of what will come next, I wanted to murder that man, I still do, he calls me his daughter, I'm terrified
This is not so much about divorce as it is selfish a******s who married each other.
I don't know how to feel about this. I'm a divorced mother of two. I lived with my ex in our shared home on a different floor for 7 months after our separation to ease the transition on our children. I now have a loving, selfless partner whose world rises and falls on me and my children. My ex husband and I are close friends, and he and my new partner respect and even like each other. I suppose divorce is different for everyone, but we all made a point, and worked incredibly hard to make it easier on everyone involved.
For me divorce my parents was.. hard. My father was addicted of alcohol. My mam wanna be happy with someone else. So.. I was never told them that how mamy times I was cry about night. Now, dad gets better but mother wors. But I'm grown up to strong persor, because of them. I will thank them someday. They show me I can stand everything.
My mother was the one that left and broke the family up my father did everything he could do to keep a happy house while my mother and her d**k of a partner did everything to distroy it. These sexist bull s**t comics blame the male and it is discriminatory. When will woman and feminism take responsibility that they are just as much to blame!!!
My parent's divorce has been very smooth; they realized they just stopped loving each other and that they had become friends so when I turned eighteen they decided to divorce, they explained everything very clearly to my sister. They stayed very much friends and kept seing each other till today, they even rented flats next to each other for almost two years to make it easier for my little sister. I wish it happens like this in every family..
I spent my entire childhood without a farther... I never blamed anyone for his absence cause my mom told that he was absent because he got arrested trying to provide for his family and I admired that about him, being a farther trying to provide for his family. 10 years down the line he comes back from prison and I thought this was my chance to finally have a farther figure in my life... hardly 6 months out of prison he left us for another woman, told me if I ever needed anything he would be there for me but he just sold me false hope. I have to beg for his attention... I gave up on many things, dreams and aspirations. I feel like being artistic is a useless gift and I stopped drawing sketches (I used to turn art to cope with my frustrations but now that's gone my life is falling apart I can't cope anymore). I used to be a humble, quiet introvert but now I have become rude and just want to fight with everybody... it hurts even more when my mom can't understand my introverted nature and
Divorce to me means screaming for my dad at night at his gf family house because my little brother woke up and started crying and as a kid i didn't know how to calm him down. So i shouted "dad" but all i heard was an echo of my own voice in the house. He wasn't there. At that time i had no clue where he was sleeping and I didn't know that we were all alone in that part of the house. Can't remember when, but one of the other visits there i understood that there was another house across the yard where they slept. That night i felt like i was completely abandoned and am a bad child cuz i can't make my little brother stop crying...
I was going to post that I agree with this comic 100%, but then I read the comments. Some people agree with me and my experience. Others say that they wish their parents had gotten divorced. I don't think that we're really debating divorce. I think that we're discussing parents who put their own selfishness ahead of their kids' well-being. My parents spent years taking their anger at each other out on me. Let's not take out our anger at our parents on each other. Let's rise above that, and encourage each other. How about another comic showing parents fighting and the kids hiding behind the couch, and then we'll put both comics together with the title, "When the Children are Forgotten"?
This isn't painting an accurate picture of divorce, but rather two really s****y parents that have no business having kids. This tells more about the artist's family and their core beliefs than it says about relationships or families in general.
So what about the families where the mom divorces dad because of dissatisfaction....you know 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman and the vast majority of the time the reason cited is simply "dissatisfaction". It's so much easier to just divorce the husband and wring him for all of his worth and take his children away from him and maybe even throw in a false rape or child abuse charge to spice things up than it is to f*****g get couple's counseling and actually try and work things out for the life long mental health of the children.
I loved my children more than anything. I left my wife because of how she treated me and have not seen my children in 4 years. (Breaks my heart) but she stopped me and the only reason I don't try is because the youngest 2 have been calling another man father and I don't want to cause them problems. Trying to make my empire to leave something for them when I'm dead and gone
My second husband cheated. I'm seriously considering a divorce. We have no children together but my adult children are still very hurt. I wish I knew he wanted to keep trying but he's so closed off to me, I'm not sure I can do this by myself.
Everyone always shows the dude leaving. Deadbeat moms that leave for boyfriends are a lot more prevalent than are depicted. Don't get to see my kids and they are taught to hate by deadbeat mom. yeah screw this comic.
My only issue is the women is always being portrayed as the victim in the beginning. I get the children are the ultimate victims in this cartoon, but in my circumstance my father was the victim, my mother leaving him for another, leaving him with three boys, and forced to sell our home for alimony. My dad never remarried, barely ever dated anyone else.
Considering divorce is instigated by women 80% of the time, the cartoon is a joke
Parents divorced more than 10 years ago.. Dad remarried.. Mum did not.. we (children) still feel the impact of the divorce as there is never peace.. i am married now and i hope and pray divorce never happens.. i do not want my kids to go through what i and my siblings went through
I was lucky.. My parents divorced when I was 10 and it didn't really affect me. I never went onto drinking, drugs or causing trouble. But sometimes I think it's because before the divorced they were constantly shouting at each other, and after the divorce they decided to be friendly with each other for mine and my sister's sakes. We all spend Christmas day together and they were both present in the delivery room when my sister gave birth to my niece
I don't think it will be easier to give divorce to your wife or at least in India where you have to nearly donate half your property #sad
Children Remain the Responsibility of the Man ; both Financially and morally but they can stay with mom. even after divorce , divorce do not work if women is Pregnant , That is Actually in Islam. You can marry second women without divorcing the prior but here is a strong mandatory before doing this ; which is , you are in position to keep them 100% Equal , in love , residence , finance , every every thing.
It's not like this. It might be for some people but not like me. Or anyone I know. Sorry. But you have no idea.
Why does it automatically blame the man? Women are just a likely to cheat as a man. In a divorce, only the two people really know the cause. The rest of us just hear THEIR side of the story. "One is rarely in possession of all the facts." - Dowager Countess, Downton Abbey
Terribly simplistic. Worse than that, it's implying/generalising that it's always the husband who is at fault. Not so. It takes two to tango. Relationships often begin with individuals unconsciously choosing a partner who already represents their expectations - usually developed from experiencing the worst of his/her own parent(s). Ditto, their behaviour within the new relationship will be unconsciously based on how their own mum/dad behaved. Love cannot simplistically cure what happens next. They shape each other, filter out evidence contrary to inner messages like "all men are like that"/"I never get heard"/"this is an attack!" ... etc, misinterpret words and intentions, and the first flush of love shrivels. Children are a huge challenge too. Finally ... one or other seeks and finds love and kindness elsewhere. Not all men leave, not all children stay with mum. It's instructive that the artist depicts the marriage as already on a bridge with a pre-existing break. Why? I wonder.
I missed my father soo bad but at least the constant fighting was over. As I got older I just felt sad that he was all alone. When he finally remarried ( to a really boring woman - perfect for him) I was happy he no longer had to live alone. Meanwhile my mother created an amazing fun strange diverse intellectually stimulating world for my brother, sister & me in which to grow . All in all I'd say that was one successful divorce!
Many people think divorces are sad because "a happy marriage is ending" and yes, it is sad, but think of it this way: a BAD relationship is ending, so you should be happy for them. It's like when people are happy for someone who gets out of an abusive relationship. I am NOT saying that all marriages that end in divorce are abusive, but they obviously weren't good. Especially if you have children, you must still care for them. Do NOT think that you should "stay together for them". It is ultimately better to divorce, just don't forget that this is very tough for your kids.
Personally I find this to be completely sexist, it is not always the man that leaves the family for someone else
If there’s even a small possibility of divorce, you have no business getting married. Also, the kids are resilient and it’s not their marriage. The comic focuses on them when it’s the abandoned partner who was cheated on that has it the hardest.
My father left when I was a little girl never knew him. I was divorced I figured better alone than in pain. Divorce is never comfortable. Someone always suffers usually the children.
I was forced to get a divorce after 27 years of marriage...i truly was shocked when he walked out to stay with his parents! He, a grown man moved in with Mommy & Daddy...I was middle aged, and unable to find a job. He does give me alimony; which i must pay taxes on. The amount is the same that i was granted 12 years ago. No increase for inflation & i have as many bills as the next person. He eventually moved in with his lady friend (who looks like me almost.) It affected our kids, even though they were in their teens....A cult encouraged him to leave me and live with this other member of the cult....Divorce is so lazy..If someone "falls in love" with some else; they should get mental help. That is crazy and abnormal. What ever happened to marriage vows?
my family is doing a lot better since their mum and dad split. but we didn't neglect them after.
Stupid. It's not line that. And children can take advantage from it
This is happening to me right now, but as an adult I have different point of sight on it, so I try to relate to my parents. Try to understand them and try to understand that you can't or don't know how to stand someone else anymore. Still love both of them and need to see both of them happy, even if they are separated.
We had a very rocky marriage and after nearly 36 years, we called it quits. Our turmoil affected our son in ways that only started showing up after he was older. Now that we are divorced and live in different parts of the country, we are finally friends. Last summer, my son and I even had dinner with my ex and his new family when they were passing through our area on their vacation. (Vacation were something we never took when we were married either! His work was always too important.)
That's sad :( I've seen some divorces end real bad, others end ok for the most part. I know friends who have half siblings from their parents past relationships and wondered how that feels like. (But low key glad I dnt have tat kinda family drama They mention )
Its a shame that a philandering man is depicted as the cause and also that he deserts his children.There is plenty of infidelity on both sides. the majority of men stay in their children's lives and this just feeds the stereotype. Sad
Very one sided.Why is the male the one that has the affair,or is perceived to be the one that breaks the family .Absolute dross.
This is just one artist's experience. So chill the f*** out. Though I agree with your position. Women can be scum too.
Load More Replies...Divorce is the worst thing men kind invented after bombs and war and such stuff
Divorce is the worst thing men kind invented after off course war and bombs and stuff
I don't think all divorces and separations can be summed up in a single cartoon. There are parents who are just not able or willing to work through their differences- the idea of the Dad leaving the Mum for another woman is wrong and encourages the idea that one parent is at fault. Not all fathers abandon their children, some fight for the right to have contact with them. Whatever happens the child should come first.
Just gotta say, don't blame divorce, divorce is a good thing - always. You guys just had s****y f*****g parents. They wouldn't have been any better together than apart. Never stay together "for the kids/family" - that just doesn't work out.
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