“I’ve Hired A Lawyer To Discuss Divorce”: Wife Is Fed Up Of Hubby’s And In-Laws’ Disregard For Her
No matter what people say about all this folk wisdom, the true meaning of many proverbs and sayings is revealed only when you yourself experience a similar situation. For example, many wise people said that a person is fully known only in difficult circumstances – but in order to fully understand this, you need to really go through these difficulties with them.
For example, in the case of the user u/ComplaintHelpful7442, the author of the story that we will tell you today, the marriage, alas, didn’t stand the test of life difficulties. However, perhaps this is for the better – because now the woman is free from a toxic relationship, and bad life experience is still experience.
The author of the post had been married to her husband for around four years
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
During the first two years of their marriage, the couple lived in North Carolina and then moved to Texas, where the hubby’s relatives lived
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
The main problem, as the author recalls, was that literally all of her in-laws were completely disrespectful people
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
So when the woman returned from Korea, where her mom had undergone chemotherapy to treat her cancer, no one even bothered to ask about her health
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
Moreover, when the author’s mom passed away, the husband refused to attend the funeral as his own mother was in the hospital recovering from a minor surgery
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 25 years old and has been married for the last four years. The couple lived in North Carolina for the first two years of their marriage, but then they moved to Texas, where the husband’s family lives. And these last two years have become a real test for the author of the post.
At first, the woman sincerely believed that it was all a matter of cultural differences (she came to the United States from Korea, and her husband is of Mexican descent), but then she became convinced that almost all of her relatives on her husband’s side were simply disrespectful.
Moreover, this involved not only a demonstrative disregard for her national culture – for example, the OP’s sister-in-law once defiantly spat out a piece of bulgogi she had just bitten off (a Korean national dish – beef marinated in a sweet sauce), publicly declaring that the taste was disgusting – but relationships with people around as well.
For example, at restaurants, the OP’s in-laws would literally drive the staff into a frenzy with various petty orders and quibbles, while leaving meager tips, literally taking coins out of their pockets. The original poster believed that her husband was not like that, but reality soon shattered this belief…
It so happened that the OP’s mother was recently diagnosed with cancer, and the woman went to Korea to care for her while she awaited a course of chemotherapy. The author spent about two weeks there, and the only people who never wrote or called her were her in-laws.
The OP’s husband stated that he had told his relatives about his MIL’s disease, and they allegedly expressed sympathy, but the author of the post herself did not feel any sympathy from them at all. Moreover, when she returned to Texas – her work required her presence in the office, no one from the extended family even mentioned the topic of her mom’s health in any communication.
Everyone was discussing livestock purchases and many different topics – but no one said anything to the original poster. Completely devastated, she went to her room and cried for the rest of the evening – only for her husband to later reprimand her for being ‘disrespectful’ towards his relatives.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
But the final straw was subsequent events. The author’s mom became much worse, and the woman returned to Korea just to be close to her. However, she did not forget about her relatives – for example, when her mother-in-law underwent minor surgery over tonsillitis, the OP ordered her flowers from the hospital gift shop with wishes for a speedy recovery.
The mother-in-law recovered, but the OP’s mother, alas, lost an unequal battle with the disease and passed away. And the author felt such disappointment and devastation when the husband, having expressed all the appropriate words for the occasion, said that he wouldn’t be able to fly to the funeral – after all, his mom was still in the hospital…
Everything inside the woman seemed to break. She remotely quit her job in the US, immediately filed for divorce, and signed up for therapy – all because she could no longer tolerate such a person next to her.
People in the comments massively supported the original poster, both in the situation as a whole and regarding her decision to part ways with this man. According to commenters, every person needs support in such moments – and feeling that your spouse has morally distanced himself from your problems sometimes looks like a real betrayal. “Your in-laws are insensitive, agreed, but the main culprit in this scenario is your husband,” someone reasonably wrote.
And, of course, people agreed that the woman was right in her decision not to return. Obviously, she needs an emotional reboot, and according to commenters, the author did everything absolutely right. “Cut your losses and move on,” this was maybe the wisest comment ever, as wisdom sometimes really needs to be laconic.
Well, in-laws sometimes behave very strangely towards their newly-minted relatives – just remember this post of ours, about the in-laws who kept addressing their DIL by the wrong name only… but such heartlessness, to be honest, is totally discouraging. Maybe you, our dear readers, have to say something about this situation, too? If yes, please feel free to leave your comments below.
The woman decided to part ways with this man – and people in the comments gave her their full support as well as expressed their deepest condolences over her loss
It's perfectly fine not to like something even if others find it delicious. What's not fine is to pretend to gag and being so rude about it. You can absolutely say: hey, I'm sure this is well made, but it's not to my taste. Sorry, but hey, all the more for you, eh? And if you know someone's relative has cancer, you well damn ask how they are! And there's absolutely no excuse not to go see your spouse when their mother has died unless your own is dying too.
Tbf, if I put something in my mouth and expected it to have a different taste or texture than what I was eating, I might gag and it would not be on purpose.
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It's better to live the rest of your life without him and, especially, without them than to live in this situation. You know you should leave and you did. You did the right thing. Don't give his family any more of your head space. You physically moved on, so you need to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually move on as well...and it appears as though you're ready.
My mom had trouble getting along with my dad's oldest sister. We now realize that a lot of that was probably jealousy. My mom is very intelligent and educated and raised her children accordingly. I guess my aunt thought that we thought that we were better than her for being smart, so she treated us disrespectfully. My grandmother, however, was very happy that my dad ended up with someone like my mom. They compliment each other very nicely. She was even more proud of having smart and ambitious granddaughters. Husbands and wives need to stop making excuses for their family and be there for their spouse.
I'd certainly eat all that delicious stuff with her, the in laws are cows themselves
My boyfriends mother is like this (20+yr relationship) and she still treats me like a piece of furniture. She is rude, ignorant, selfish, I could go on. She new I couldn't have kids medically Christmas everyone opening presents except me. And she asks me isn't it tough being a mom. It's been like that for 20+ yrs I don't even bother to speak to her. And she is NOT ALLLOWED in my house when she comes over. She would come here with a raging case of covid and not care if I got it( I have several immune disorders).
You only get one mom. Most of us. And for them let alone your husband to not ask about her or how you were doing is horrible. Not to mention their social skills. You're better off divorcing a getting your life for you and your moms time left to be as comfortable and free of them as possible. Block them. Get divorced. Have a life. A husband like that will never change.
I hope her mom is doing okay and the chemo is working. Her husbands family sounds exactly like all too much garbage I know. That kind of hard right ultra entitled garbage is all too common in Texas.
Oh, *now* they figure out how texting works. 😂 What an a*s. You can care as little or as much as you want what people think but when it's *your own spouse* thinking it, it needs to be discussed one way or another.
Stay gone. It doesn't matter who is right. Nobody should settle for a life of conflict. They are not right for each other.
Your in-laws suck, get over it. You don't need to be friends with them and they are under no obligation to check in with you while you're taking care of your family. I would simply never go out to a restaurant with them and keep events with them at a minimum.
It's perfectly fine not to like something even if others find it delicious. What's not fine is to pretend to gag and being so rude about it. You can absolutely say: hey, I'm sure this is well made, but it's not to my taste. Sorry, but hey, all the more for you, eh? And if you know someone's relative has cancer, you well damn ask how they are! And there's absolutely no excuse not to go see your spouse when their mother has died unless your own is dying too.
Tbf, if I put something in my mouth and expected it to have a different taste or texture than what I was eating, I might gag and it would not be on purpose.
Load More Replies... It's better to live the rest of your life without him and, especially, without them than to live in this situation. You know you should leave and you did. You did the right thing. Don't give his family any more of your head space. You physically moved on, so you need to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually move on as well...and it appears as though you're ready.
My mom had trouble getting along with my dad's oldest sister. We now realize that a lot of that was probably jealousy. My mom is very intelligent and educated and raised her children accordingly. I guess my aunt thought that we thought that we were better than her for being smart, so she treated us disrespectfully. My grandmother, however, was very happy that my dad ended up with someone like my mom. They compliment each other very nicely. She was even more proud of having smart and ambitious granddaughters. Husbands and wives need to stop making excuses for their family and be there for their spouse.
I'd certainly eat all that delicious stuff with her, the in laws are cows themselves
My boyfriends mother is like this (20+yr relationship) and she still treats me like a piece of furniture. She is rude, ignorant, selfish, I could go on. She new I couldn't have kids medically Christmas everyone opening presents except me. And she asks me isn't it tough being a mom. It's been like that for 20+ yrs I don't even bother to speak to her. And she is NOT ALLLOWED in my house when she comes over. She would come here with a raging case of covid and not care if I got it( I have several immune disorders).
You only get one mom. Most of us. And for them let alone your husband to not ask about her or how you were doing is horrible. Not to mention their social skills. You're better off divorcing a getting your life for you and your moms time left to be as comfortable and free of them as possible. Block them. Get divorced. Have a life. A husband like that will never change.
I hope her mom is doing okay and the chemo is working. Her husbands family sounds exactly like all too much garbage I know. That kind of hard right ultra entitled garbage is all too common in Texas.
Oh, *now* they figure out how texting works. 😂 What an a*s. You can care as little or as much as you want what people think but when it's *your own spouse* thinking it, it needs to be discussed one way or another.
Stay gone. It doesn't matter who is right. Nobody should settle for a life of conflict. They are not right for each other.
Your in-laws suck, get over it. You don't need to be friends with them and they are under no obligation to check in with you while you're taking care of your family. I would simply never go out to a restaurant with them and keep events with them at a minimum.
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