Do you know what a family gathering, a friendly barbeque, and a team meeting on Zoom have in common? There's always, always that certain someone who pulls out a joke. That overused, exhausted piece of humor they've shared so often, it's practically turned into an encore performance at every gathering. An awkward silence follows, save for a few polite chuckles by people who are just too nice to roll their eyes.
That is the power — or better, the affliction — of repetitive jokes. Keep in mind, we're all for a well-timed, perfectly executed joke to lighten the mood, break the ice, or save the day. But there's a fine line between a signature quip and that worn-out gag that's been overplayed more times than "Sweet Caroline" at a Red Sox game. Humor is the spice of life, yeah, but when it's repeatedly sprinkled over and over, the flavor becomes unbearable.
Let's share some examples of repetitive jokes just to make sure you know what we're talking about. You know when you get to the office, maybe 30 seconds late for your shift, and your boss jovially exclaims: "Look who decided to show up to work today!" Or when someone asks, "What's the weather like up there?" to your tall friend who is this close to losing it. Yeah, you got it. The worst part is that these are just two examples. What if we told you we've got a whole list of overused jokes?
Combed from the far corners of the web, more specifically from Reddit, we've collected an array of repetitive puns and jokes that have overstayed their welcome. Our virtual hat tip goes to the brave Redditors who stepped forth to share these annoying jokes, sacrificing their eyeballs (and their sanity) for the greater good of humor-kind.
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"'What's the weather like up there?' A very tall friend is so sick of this he's very tempted to reply 'Raining' and spit on them."
"Anything about how all husbands and fathers are incompetent."
"People joking about how 'Marriage is the worst thing ever.' and 'Oh my god I hate my wife so much hahahahah.'"
I've never found these "ball and chain" jokes funny...like I get it, you're miserable...but we're not all miserable. Some of us have good marriages and relationships.
"I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally."
As someone who has worked in retail and restaurants all my life, that is a valid statement...
"Dropping the soap."
"Whenever I’m serving a middle-aged man:
Me: Would you like anything else?
Man: A smile.
It just makes it so awkward and then I have to do my fake laugh."
"Those are 500$ extra, should I put that on your card or are you paying cash?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did! Ha ha!"
"'Take my wife... please!' Every time I hear some guy sitting at a bar say this, I wonder... someone was desperate enough to marry this douche?!"
Yeah, I call bull**** on this one. That's an extremely old Borscht Belt joke originally done by Henny Youngman. It hasn't been used in decades. Rodney Dangerfield is the last comedian to do jokes like that. I'd bet nobody under the age of 50 has even heard it before.
User No 1 said:
"When you oversleep and someone says, 'It's alive.'"
TheHornyToothbrush replied:
"Oh look who came out of their cave."
"Given your sour disposition I should have stayed in hibernation"
"I’m hungry."
"Hi, hungry! I’m (insert name of the imbecile speaking), nice to meet you!"
"Any time you're doing a big job at work or outside eg. Cleaning windows, mopping floors, mowing lawns, etc. And a stranger walks past and says 'Oh come to my house and do mine next HA HA HA.'
It's so lovely to have people rub in your face that you're working hard and they aren't."
"As a dwarf... all dwarf jokes. Please, save me. They got old when I was 12 and on this trajectory, they'll make me suicidal by the time I'm 40."
I'm sorry this happens for you. People think they're hilarious, they're not 😒
"As a cashier, I’m supposed to check 50 and 100-dollar bills, and every single time I do, the customer goes 'I just printed it hahaha.'"
"We need to change the name of the planet Uranus and get rid of that stupid joke once and for all."
awesome357 replied:
"Fry: So what's it called now?"
IDidntChooseUsername replied:
"Urectum!"
"The joke with the intercourse with someone's mom. Like, stop. No."
Ketomatic said:
"When something doesn't scan 'Does that mean it's free haha'. Nope, retired."
uncle-tacitus replied:
"Buying a lottery ticket 'Make sure it's the winning one!' dies."
"Telling someone that you're from Hungary: 'Oh, you're from Hungary? Are you hungry then?'"
Usually the follow with 'why don't you go to Turkey then? HAHAHAHAHA' 🙄🙄🙄
"'Are you working hard or hardly working?'. I don't know Chad you tell me."
"Still a better love story than Twilight! Outdated and lazy."
"When a cop walks by in uniform and someone says 'I didn’t do it.'"
"'Excuse me!' 'You’re excused, now get out.' My ex used to say this jokingly, and it always made me want to punch him in the head."
"Knock knock joke, I've yet to find one funny, and I'm not exaggerating."
"Sorry, I have some hearing issues, could you repeat that?"
"What?"
Yeah, I really hate this one. I'm not trying to be an @$$ when I ask someone to repeat themselves... I just want to be clear that I understood what they said. I hate asking, and responding with "WHAT? hur hur hur." just makes me feel worse.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Food! hahahaha."
"I’m already sick of 'OK Boomer'"
"The non-ironic use of 'That's what she said.'
I had a fratty coworker a few years back who would just bust it out no matter the situation.
'I've got tape stuck to my desk."That's what she said!'
'I've got a lot of work to do.That's what she said!'
'I'm headed out for lunch. That's what she said!'
And people found it hilarious. It's not like this dude was some four-dimensional absurdist jokester. He just seemed to think he'd coined the phrase, and everyone else in my office seemed to be reenacting The Office to the best of their ability. A 'joke' was simply a semi-well-timed movie or TV quote. Nothing original. People who made their own jokes on the spot were regarded as weirdos."
cheesyenchilady said:
"As a waitress, someone who finished their entire plate 'I hated it, harharhrharhharh'"
Jarvicious replied:
"I was out to dinner with a buddy. The waiter came by with the usual 'How was everything?' to which my buddy replied, 'Do you remember the Holocaust?'. I'll admit that even I was pretty god damn worried at that point, but he followed it up with 'Well it was the exact opposite of that'. That poor, barely post-pubescent young man."
My dad once made a brand-new server so upset she cried by saying his chicken tasted "fowl." (For those who don't know English well, "fowl" is bird meat and "foul" means bad or terrible, but they're pronounced the same). He apologized and hasn't used that joke since.
Student: What time is it?
Teacher: Time for you to get a watch!
Student: * internally wishing they drop dead instantly*
"The joke where you say No to small requests:
'Can you pass me the salt?'
'NO! hahahahaha' please die a slow death."
This one depends, if you say no and then pass it then I feel like it's fine
"When you ask what time it is and your coworker who isn't even a dad says 'Time for you to buy a watch.' Why is he using Dad jokes?"
I usually respond that way when someone has been bugging me for the time for the past many months/ years
"Anyone taking a common use of the word 'come' and making it dirty."
"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
"Yeah, a million dollars!"
"Whenever an old guy orders a tall blonde from Starbucks and they chuckle to themselves. Please stop."
"A clearly old enough customer asking 'Do you need to see my ID too?' after you ID someone who looks under 25. I like to respond by saying 'Yes please, can I see some ID?' they never have any and then get pissy bc they can't order a drink."
I worked for a head shop years ago, and per state law, I was required to ID *everyone* who stepped foot in the store. My first couple of weeks, I had several regulars get p!ssy and call the owner because I ID'd them.
LunaalaTheBeast said:
"When your Australian and someone says Australia doesn't exist."
A_Generic_RedditUser replied:
"Or 'Haha Australia is upside down haha Southern Hemisphere.'"
"'And that’s why we can’t have nice things.' Funny the first few times, but it’s tiring now."
"Working outside in the heat for hours just to hear the homeowner come outside and say, 'Having fun yet?'"
"Walks in 30 seconds late: 'Look who decided to show up to work today, hahaha.'"
Or when you arrive towards the end of the 3 hour flexible start time to work and people say "afternoon", or conversely those leaving at the start of the 3 hour flexible end time saying "thanks for coming". Hate that.
"Waitress after dinner: Are you ready for the receipt?
Literally any of my family members: No I'll pass on that hahaha! You can keep it!"
"I have really light blonde hair, so that means a lot of people feel the need to tell me one "Dumb Blonde" joke after another. Please. The only thing that's 'dumb' around here is your sense of humor."
What is this “dumb blonde” thing? If you go by the actual definition of racism, then this is technically racist against people with blonde hair
"Pretty personal one for me, but my name is Jake. And lemme tell you, having every single person I meet to go, 'Oh, Jake from State Farm!' Is the worst. I really wish I was exaggerating when I say every single one, but it’s got to at least be 80% of people. It’s not funny. It’s not clever. It’s a State Farm commercial from what feels like 10 years ago."
"I don't know how much of a problem this is in the rest of the world, but in Portugal, we mostly use the past tense to order food in restaurants. Because of that, a LOT of waiters will reply something like: 'Oh you wanted? Do you not want it anymore?' And I swear I thought it was funny when I was 12. Today? Not so much. I left restaurants because of this joke when I was to order. Please retire it. Please."
"All camouflage jokes. 'Hey where did your legs go!? I only see a torso.'"
Col_Walter_Tits said:
"Any joke involving being back at work Monday morning. But instead of retiring them, I’d prefer they be put up against a wall and shot."
oilysoap replied:
Looks like somebody's got a case of Mondays!
"Chicken crosses the road. It has served far greater purpose than ever intended, and deserves to rest."
Fortunately nobody over the age of 7 has told that joke in 50 years. Again- bull****.
I-Hate-Morgz said:
"Any joke that starts off with 'nobody:' or 'no one:'"
PotatoHateExplosion replied:
"Person: How many _ do you want?
The subject of video: Yes"
"In Sweden we have: Du tappa något! farten....
Which means you dropped something, your pace."
"'Play Freebird! AHAAH!' from the back of the room to a local acoustic player in a humble dive bar."
"Someone forgets their car key: Can't go far without these.
Retire please."
Turbulent_Turds said:
"You've got some updog on your shirt."
m654zy replied:
"What's a shirt."
send_boobie_pics replied:
"Nothing much. How about you?"
RaptureRIddleyWalker said:
"If you don't like the weather in *_______*, just wait 10 minutes, hyuk hyuk."
applepwnz replied:
"The funny thing is that I've heard that one about pretty much every single region of the US. It's just like 'Boy, traffic in sure is crazy, huh guys?'"
"It doesn't exist quite as much anymore, but 'Are you watching the sports ball? Did the team hit a touchdown??'"
Most of these aren't even Dad jokes, they're Great-'Grandad jokes. Most of them haven't been commonly used in decades. Honestly, when was the last time an adult told you a knock knock joke?
This one makes me roll my eyes. I always refrain from commenting so as not to ruin anyone's fun, but seriously, every time?!
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Something my mom told me: she was a waitress in Cincinnati. She had to wait on this obnoxious native Cincinnatian a lot. Every time he came in he made fun of her açcent. My mom is from Kentucky. She told him that and he always kept saying, "where's your passport? I'm gonna call INS!" For context, a lot of Cincinnatians hate southern whites. And this was back in the 60s while "The Beverly Hillbillies" was in production. That sitcom is a vaudeville farce--but native Cincinnatians took it as a documentary.
Most of these aren't even Dad jokes, they're Great-'Grandad jokes. Most of them haven't been commonly used in decades. Honestly, when was the last time an adult told you a knock knock joke?
This one makes me roll my eyes. I always refrain from commenting so as not to ruin anyone's fun, but seriously, every time?!
Load More Replies... Something my mom told me: she was a waitress in Cincinnati. She had to wait on this obnoxious native Cincinnatian a lot. Every time he came in he made fun of her açcent. My mom is from Kentucky. She told him that and he always kept saying, "where's your passport? I'm gonna call INS!" For context, a lot of Cincinnatians hate southern whites. And this was back in the 60s while "The Beverly Hillbillies" was in production. That sitcom is a vaudeville farce--but native Cincinnatians took it as a documentary.
