Daughter Refuses To Share Her Bedroom With Mom’s 14 Y.O. Brother, Parents Are Furious

Honestly the parents trying to do this is really inappropriate. Having shared a room with my step brother when I was little, it was awkward, but at least we had grown up together more or less. Making a teenaged girl share her room with a younger teenaged boy she doesn't even know is absolutely crazy. It sounds like the boy has gone through something traumatic and I feel for him, but if they want the daughter to be more understanding, she is old enough to be told what happened. If I was her, I'd just take my s**t and redecorate the room in the basement.

At least in America, if you assume legal guardianship of a minor it’s illegal to room them with a child of the opposite gender. I’m not 100% on this but I think it’s true for the foster care system. She could move to the basement, sure, but her parents need to clue her in a bit more to what’s happening and how she can be supportive for him. She’s 17, she can handle a general explanation of the situation.

NTA and your mother needs a reality check.

Voilà. Not "wala"

These parents are trying to parentify their teenage daughter and it is NOT OK.

You told your mom you don't care about moving into the basement room.. so why not just move down there and avoid all this mess? Sure it sucks to be the one who has to move, but it sure beats a 14yo strange boy, going through puberty, sharing a room with you when you try to change clothes or sleep...

To anyone saying it's ok for her to move into the basement is a idiot who never had there own room she said she lived there since she was little that's really messed up like would it be ok too move you from your house u lived in for forever

My partner has a 19 year old daughter, I have a 13 year old daughter. We never ask them to share personal spaces with each other and they are (obviously) the same sex. Young people deserve the same level of privacy that we do.

Not suggesting the set up is appropriate, regardless, but has anyone considered that he might be gay? As in, he got kicked out and has nowhere to go because he came out and maybe her parents don’t want to out him further and (mistakenly?) saw it as acceptable? Only, they’d need to let the daughter know and maybe that’s why there’s the dissonance. My foster sister lived with us from 14-22. She was an acquaintance I knew from school. She knew I was queer, as did most everyone, and instead of living in the in-law unit she moved into my room. We became close, became friends and there was never an issue. If that’s a similar stitch, the parents need to let the daughter know for her own decision-making. Noting wrong with a setup like that. And for the folks pulling the gender argument, had it been a female cousin seeking safe harbor because she’s a lesbian, would gender play into that?

Maybe s bit awkward , but that's the point. Ask your parents how you would be able to m@$turbate while sharing the room?

I wonder if anybody has even asked Alex what he wants. When I was his age, the basement room would have been my preference and I suspect a 14 year-old boy is just as uncomfortable rooming with a 17 year-old girl as she is rooming with him.

Is this story from Reddit or Pornhub?

Am I the only one caught off-guard by a 14-year old boy being afraid of the dark?

So NTA...and so many reasons why! Even on a temporary basis (more than 1 night), it's just wrong. As she said, she's never even met him, and we all know that teenage boys are just walking hormones (and that's not a dig at guys, just a basic fact). I could write a novel on why this is wrong on so many levels, but I'm sure other commenters have made the same arguements... If push came to shove, though, and it was me, I'd move my room to the basement, lock, stock, & barrell. Who knows, she might even prefer the extra privacy; bonus points if the room is bigger than the room she's in now. Change is inevitable, and maybe her 14 yr old uncle has really been through something traumatic. If that's the case, maybe he should be in her room, closer to her parents, in case something happens (nightmares, etc)--but she shouldn't be there as well. I just hope that whatever happened hasn't put him in a fragile state of mind where no one knows what he's capable of...

This is kinda ridiculous this child clearly has nowhere to go and there's probably a good reason Hes afraid of the basement. If the older girl doesn't want to share a room she should just go to the basement she'll probably be moving to college or moving out in a year or two anyway. Clearly this child has faced some trauma or has nowhere else to go if he's living with them

The math isn't mathing. So the mom has a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old brother? There's no way a 14 yr old boy and 17 yr old gurl should share a room

I would be questioning this if it was my own brother and I was 17 and he 14, I might be more amenable to sharing a room with my own brother if for some reason there were only two bedrooms in the home, but if there is a basement room where he could go, then that is where he should be placed. How many 14 y.o. boys are a afaid of the dark? What a lame excuse. Buy him a nightlight.

Sweetheart, there's a kind of mother who does this to her daughter. She'll claim it's practical, harmless, innocent. However cogently you explain that it's wrong and dangerous, she'll seem unable to understand. Her plan demeans you as a female, by capitulating to a male. It's masochistic; and subconscious revenge for something she suffered herself. The world's full of women who betray other women. After a century of women's rights, we see it everywhere, in trendy ideological fads excusing primitive instincts. A man (rightly) learns to curb his. A woman is encouraged to indulge hers. Some will let romantically foreign men in the front door - with a welcome sign. Some will be pseudo-enlightened about males in the female toilet. And others, with a secret thrill, will undermine their own daughters. The best thing you can do with such a mother is leave. Get the job in Merthyr Tidfyl. Don't denounce her at Xmas decades hence (her masochistic side will enjoy it): just go.

I have to share a room with my baby sisters even though I’m 16 and they haven’t even entered school my room always smells like s**t and there are 4 extra rooms in my house!

There are no state or federal laws against most opposite gender siblings sharing a room in their own home, but some institutions do regulate how spaces are shared. i know they arent siblings but same considerations might apply depending on their state. if OP is very concerned they might consider reaching out to a guidance councilor at their school. they are mandatory reporters and asking a teen girl to share a room with anyone regardless of age, gender, or familial relations when they are uncomfortable might fall into that category of concern

Everyone saying why cant a 17 year old girl share with a 14 year old boy they never met is a bleddy idiot. First of that kid will masturbate everywhere, secondly make the 14 year learn to sleep without a light. Clearly a dumb idea and when you have a spare room even dumber

How she's not the AH when she just can move in the basement if she want a room alone... She just didn't want too out of pettiness. And she's 17, grow up, you won't stay in your child room forever, you need to grow up and move forward. Have some empathy for a family member in need, a minimum.