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“She Was Still Gone”: Mom Leaves 8.5-Month High-Risk Pregnant Daughter In The Park After She Mentioned Changing The Baby’s Name
“She Was Still Gone”: Mom Leaves 8.5-Month High-Risk Pregnant Daughter In The Park After She Mentioned Changing The Baby’s Name
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“She Was Still Gone”: Mom Leaves 8.5-Month High-Risk Pregnant Daughter In The Park After She Mentioned Changing The Baby’s Name

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Having a baby on the way and thinking of its name is usually exciting for both the parents as well as grandparents. However, when this excitement from the side of grandparents grows into controlling behavior, thinking that they have a bigger say here or some special privilege to control the process without being asked first, it might lead to a much bigger conflict, creating problems that outgrow the otherwise amusing process of naming one’s baby. This Redditor got to face such baseless demands when dealing with her mother’s emotional outburst over her baby’s name.

More info: Reddit

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    A pregnant woman is left on a hiking path by her mother after she mentions considering a different baby name

    Image credits: Yaniv Yaakubovich (not the actual photo)

    The 28 Y.O. is high-risk and on modified bed rest, but her mother still manages to drive off, leaving her in the park with no cell phone

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    Image credits: No_Suit2126

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    Image credits: T N (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: No_Suit2126

    The mother-to-be mentioned she was considering a different baby name

    Image credits: Huron-Manistee National Forests (not the actual photo)

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    The woman’s mother growled, cursed, then got in her car and drove away

    This woman’s mother assumed she had a bigger say in naming the baby than the baby’s mother, as she burst into anger when her pregnant daughter mentioned she thought of a different name for her baby. This much was enough for this soon-to-be grandmother to growl, throw her hands in the air, yell a curse, turn around, storm off to her car, get in, and drive away, leaving her pregnant daughter in the park. Her inappropriate reaction and emotional pressure on her daughter seem eloquent enough in their own right.

    However, the pregnant woman being high-risk, and on modified bed rest, who got okay-ed to continue doing her mile-walks, but is mostly meant to be sitting with her feet up all day, so she doesn’t get sick again, adds to calling her mother’s behavior not only rude and controlling, but also reckless and extremely irresponsible. 

    In this situation, the soon-to-be grandmother seems to fall out of the category of grandparents who wish to be the ones who get to decide on the name of a baby, but she fits into the category of those who think it’s okay to risk her pregnant daughter’s health in addition to putting some extreme emotional pressure on her for not deciding on her baby name in a time framework that she for some reason has given her. Apart from the time frame for choosing a name not being the grandmother’s business, the baby not being due for another 7 weeks makes the woman’s outburst even more out of place.

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    No wonder this woman called her grandfather to pick her up, borrowing someone else’s phone as she didn’t have her phone with her and refused to get in her mom’s vehicle when she suggested driving her after the fact. However, the woman’s mother claimed her daughter was overreacting, even though the mother herself seems to fit such a description much better in addition to being irresponsible and overbearing.

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    The pregnant woman borrowed a cell phone and called her grandfather to pick her up

    Image credits: Pretty Poo Eater (not the actual photo)

    The woman’s mother suggested driving her back, but she claimed her mother was crazy to think she was getting into her vehicle

    Susan Adcox listed the naming process among the areas where grandparents should be practicing observing boundaries while sharing the happy news of the imminent arrival of a newborn. In her article “8 Times grandparents don’t get to choose”, the author notes that while choosing a name for one’s baby is a treasured rite, it is also stressful and grandparents should avoid pushing it to the limit in various ways and making it even more nervewracking than it already is.

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    Looking at the issue from a wider perspective, the study of Lucy Rose Fischer’s “Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship” can be brought up. Fischer distinguished the daughter’s transition to motherhood as one of the major periods of transition in a mother-daughter relationship among others, which also included marriage and the mother’s old age and infirmity. The scholar follows Colin Murray Parkes, claiming that these periods can be called transitional, as they bring a more or less sudden “major change in state”, for a mother and a daughter alike, as well as their relationship.

    The author explains this transition of a mother-daughter relationship as a process of renegotiation and redefinition, which leads to them perceiving and interacting with each other in some new ways. Understanding the daughter’s motherhood as a transitional period in a mother-daughter relationship can help to foresee the possible psychological tensions and challenges that both women can experience during this time, and being aware and sensitive about it can make the best out of their relationship by providing each other with mutual support and understanding.

    Redditors backed the woman as it was up to her to name the baby, while her mother’s behavior was irresponsible

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    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Author, Community member

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    Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

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    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Aura Vyšniauskaitė

    Author, Community member

    Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

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    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    What do you think ?
    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are people just insane nowadays? I can't even conceive of behaving this way.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1) Whether or not your mom knew you didn't have your phone is only relevant to her as an excuse. 2) "Sorry you feel that way" is not even a half-a%% apology - it is putting the blame back on you. 3) Why does she need to know now? Unless she's upset that she can't pre-order some gift with a name on it, it just. doesn't. matter. Unless you are expecting to hand down some family name, there wouldn't be anything wrong with having a few names in mind but then waiting to meet the baby.

    Ivo H
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Completely agree. It is not an excuse and the act itself was so f*****g irresponsible and dangerous, that in edge case scenario, it could cost the child, mom or both their lives. And to add on the uncertain baby name - it’s entirely up to parents to decide. They should definitely have the name selected the day they’re born, but there’s no reason forcing the selection in advance. Altough me and my wife had names for both of our boys multiple months before they were born, but we called them both “little dragons” before they were born anyways…

    Load More Replies...
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    Momma Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why tf would anyone react this way ? My husband and I couldn't decide a name for our daughter, and we never even told anyone what our picks were. We were waiting to meet her and then decide. We named her the first time we held her in our arms, and everyone found out her name a day after her birth. No drama AT ALL

    My “in my head” Voice
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Based on the other comments about her mom, I'd guess mom ordered a gift with the baby's name on it.

    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else confused by 8.5 months pregnant but not due for another 7 weeks? Wouldn't that put her due date at more than 10 months?

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pregnancy actually goes 10 months (40 weeks). They count from your last active period- so 2 of those weeks you weren't even actually pregnant. Back in the day they counted from the day of the missed period. So everyone says "9 months." But with the way we count today it's actually 10 months. Most women count by weeks now. "I'm 23 weeks."

    Load More Replies...
    Noname
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm tired of these "AITA" reposts from reddit on Bored Panda. They don't belong on Bored Panda. The author generally just repeats in their description what the op writes and it serves no one but to incite anger and frustration. Leave AITA posts to reddit. Lets keep Bored Panda a happy place.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do not abandon someone you've committed to care for in medical risk. It doesn't matter what the argument is about. My sister told me I was useless and worthless whilst I was caring for her in an HRP... I cried, but I stayed at the house and helped her to the bathroom and brought her food until my bro-in-law got home (yes, she apologized). That mother agreed to take on the responsibility to care for her daughter through this pregnancy; her frustration is not a reason to stop. I hope the OP sells her half of the house to her mother and finds a better living situation. What's going to happen if she gets angry at her grandchild? There's something wrong with her.

    YetAnotherSarah
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Each element of this story feels a tiny bit off.

    majandess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had a name picked out for my brother, but when he was born, she said his name didn't match, so she swapped his middle and first names.

    majandess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had my son's name picked out before I even got married. A decade later, when he finally arrived, he matched it perfectly. My dad, however, was so pissed off. He told me that I hadn't put any thought into my child's name, and I was cursing my son with an ethnic name and he'd never be able to get a job in life. I told him to go screw himself.

    Load More Replies...
    Gøøse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anybody actually like these BP posts? Downvote this if you do.

    Load More Comments
    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are people just insane nowadays? I can't even conceive of behaving this way.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1) Whether or not your mom knew you didn't have your phone is only relevant to her as an excuse. 2) "Sorry you feel that way" is not even a half-a%% apology - it is putting the blame back on you. 3) Why does she need to know now? Unless she's upset that she can't pre-order some gift with a name on it, it just. doesn't. matter. Unless you are expecting to hand down some family name, there wouldn't be anything wrong with having a few names in mind but then waiting to meet the baby.

    Ivo H
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Completely agree. It is not an excuse and the act itself was so f*****g irresponsible and dangerous, that in edge case scenario, it could cost the child, mom or both their lives. And to add on the uncertain baby name - it’s entirely up to parents to decide. They should definitely have the name selected the day they’re born, but there’s no reason forcing the selection in advance. Altough me and my wife had names for both of our boys multiple months before they were born, but we called them both “little dragons” before they were born anyways…

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Momma Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why tf would anyone react this way ? My husband and I couldn't decide a name for our daughter, and we never even told anyone what our picks were. We were waiting to meet her and then decide. We named her the first time we held her in our arms, and everyone found out her name a day after her birth. No drama AT ALL

    My “in my head” Voice
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Based on the other comments about her mom, I'd guess mom ordered a gift with the baby's name on it.

    Squirrelly Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else confused by 8.5 months pregnant but not due for another 7 weeks? Wouldn't that put her due date at more than 10 months?

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pregnancy actually goes 10 months (40 weeks). They count from your last active period- so 2 of those weeks you weren't even actually pregnant. Back in the day they counted from the day of the missed period. So everyone says "9 months." But with the way we count today it's actually 10 months. Most women count by weeks now. "I'm 23 weeks."

    Load More Replies...
    Noname
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm tired of these "AITA" reposts from reddit on Bored Panda. They don't belong on Bored Panda. The author generally just repeats in their description what the op writes and it serves no one but to incite anger and frustration. Leave AITA posts to reddit. Lets keep Bored Panda a happy place.

    CatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do not abandon someone you've committed to care for in medical risk. It doesn't matter what the argument is about. My sister told me I was useless and worthless whilst I was caring for her in an HRP... I cried, but I stayed at the house and helped her to the bathroom and brought her food until my bro-in-law got home (yes, she apologized). That mother agreed to take on the responsibility to care for her daughter through this pregnancy; her frustration is not a reason to stop. I hope the OP sells her half of the house to her mother and finds a better living situation. What's going to happen if she gets angry at her grandchild? There's something wrong with her.

    YetAnotherSarah
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Each element of this story feels a tiny bit off.

    majandess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had a name picked out for my brother, but when he was born, she said his name didn't match, so she swapped his middle and first names.

    majandess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had my son's name picked out before I even got married. A decade later, when he finally arrived, he matched it perfectly. My dad, however, was so pissed off. He told me that I hadn't put any thought into my child's name, and I was cursing my son with an ethnic name and he'd never be able to get a job in life. I told him to go screw himself.

    Load More Replies...
    Gøøse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anybody actually like these BP posts? Downvote this if you do.

    Load More Comments
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