“Someone Has To Save The Boy”: Religious Woman Baptizes Her Nephew Behind Everyone’s Back, Receives Hilarious Revenge
Getting baptized is a very special moment in many people’s lives. Some are baptized as babies, while others make the choice to experience this rite of passage later on in life. But for those of us who don’t identify with some form of Christianity, this ritual can be skipped. Unless a relative forces you to go through with it unbeknownst to your parents…
Below, you’ll find a story that one teen shared on Reddit detailing how she got revenge on her aunt who attempted to pressure her and her brother into adopting the same religious beliefs, as well as an interview with Dr. Jerry Coyne.
Everyone has the right to choose their own religion
Image credits: drachukandrii (not the actual photo)
But after one woman decided to baptize her young nephew without permission, his older sister decided to get revenge
Image credits: Katherine Hanlon (not the actual photo)
Image credits: macniak(not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vibing_Jellybean
While it’s common for people to be passionate about their religious beliefs, it’s important to understand that not everyone will hold the same views
Image credits: Rodolfo Clix (not the actual photo)
According to Visual Capitalist, nearly 84% of the planet’s population identifies with a religious group, with the most prominent religions being Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism and Folk Religions. And while many individuals grow up practicing the same religion as their parents, it’s important for everyone to have the chance to choose whatever religion, or lack thereof, that they identify with. To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to Dr. Jerry Coyne, Emeritus Professor in the Department of Ecology and Evolution at the University of Chicago.
Dr. Coyne was kind enough to have a chat with us about some of the issues that can arise when adults feel the need to indoctrinate children into their own religions. “First, it almost always makes the child adopt the religion of the parents, so they don’t get to choose their faith—or lack of faith,” he told Bored Panda. “That could be done only after exposure to the tenets of many faiths and by attaining an age that allows a mature choice.
“More importantly, it indoctrinates the child into accepting religious superstition, as well as thinking that faith alone is a good reason to accept truths about the world—truths that actually can be found only through empirical observation,” Dr. Coyne went on to explain. “Finally, it deludes children into thinking that their faith is the correct faith, when in reality we have no idea whether any faith is correct, or even if there is a god to worship.”
“In reality, we have no idea whether any faith is correct, or even if there is a god to worship”
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
And while there is nothing inherently wrong with being religious, as it can bring a sense of peace to many people and many religions focus on being charitable, introducing one narrow view of religion too early might actually backfire. One study of nearly 1,200 children between the ages of 5 and 12 found that religious beliefs can actually negatively influence a child’s altruism. Within the study, children were asked to choose stickers and then informed that there were not enough for everyone in the school to have some, to see if they would share. They were also shown videos of children pushing and bumping one another to see what their reactions would be.
“The findings ‘robustly demonstrate that children from households identifying as either of the two major world religions (Christianity and Islam) were less altruistic than children from non-religious households’,” Harriet Sherwood wrote in a piece for The Guardian examining the study. “Older children, usually those with a longer exposure to religion, ‘exhibit[ed] the greatest negative relations’. The study also found that ‘religiosity affects children’s punitive tendencies’. Children from religious households ‘frequently appear to be more judgmental of others’ actions’.”
The study found the non-religious children to be the least judgmental, and interestingly, the report noted that religious parents were more likely than others to consider their children to be ‘more empathetic and more sensitive to the plight of others’. So what is the appropriate way to introduce religious ideology to children without pressuring them into one specific set of beliefs?
In fact, children who are indoctrinated into one specific ideology often end up abandoning those beliefs as they get older
Image credits: StiahailoAnastasiia (not the actual photo)
“The only way I know is to refrain from imposing ANY pressure on a child to accept the religion of their parents until after they’re exposed to the variety of the world’s faiths—perhaps in a comparative religion course in schools,” Dr. Coyne told Bored Panda. “I realize how hard this is for some parents to do—and not all schools offer such courses—but some children have been brought up this way.” It can be wise for parents to raise their children in this way, even if they hope that one day they will find religion, because plenty of people who are raised in religious households don’t hold onto those beliefs forever. In fact, 62% of religiously unaffiliated Americans who were raised in religion abandon the beliefs of their parents before they even turn 18.
Dr. Coyne urges moms and dads to allow their children to form their own beliefs over time, rather than pressuring them to follow a specific path from childhood. “Let the child grow up and make their own choice of what to believe, or to believe nothing at all about gods,” he says. “Although Richard Dawkins has characterized [religious indoctrination] as ‘child abuse’, I wouldn’t go quite that far. But it is indoctrination and propagandizing that is simply wrong.” If you’d like to learn more about Dr. Coyne and check out his books, be sure to visit his website Why Evolution Is True right here.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. How do you feel about the actions of this aunt? Do you think she got what she deserved? Feel free to share down below, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing why some people from religious families decided to become atheist, you can find that story right here.
The teen later provided additional information on the situation, answering a few readers’ questions
Many people were amused by the story, applauding the teen in the comments and sharing suggestions of ways she could further poke fun at her aunt
This is hilarious. So many religious people demand respect for their beliefs without respecting anybody else. As for how debaptize someone, maybe try to put her in a bowl of rice to absorb the liquid? I heard it works with phones.
As I keep saying - we can respect people's RIGHT to religion, but not the religion itself or the fact that the person is religious. No I DON'T have to respect your vile made-up rules. That doesn't make me unAmerican.
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I like how the aunt believes that OP has a magic power greater than God, to the point that she has magic abilities that not even the Almighty Lord can overrule.
cuz she's obviously a SATANIC WITCH /s (I don't know much about Christianity but I'd assume God has a higher ruling over Satan lol)
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I am a Christian and I 100% support this amazing gal! I am heavily educated in both theology and psychology. Logged training hours and college classes, even. That aunt is a f***ing psycho (vernacular, I hope...). Also, I'm mischievous enough that even Loki would be wary and this teen is a bad***! PS Christians who pull this s*** are on my top tier of WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! list.
I think you are my favorite person I've ever found on bored panda.
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This whole thing is nonsense. Baptism is a SYMBOLIC act, a declaration of faith and a new life in Christ. Without faith it means nothing. The Aunt didn't make OP's brother a Christian, she just got him wet.
True! But children are impressionable. It’s likely a 5yo with this much indoctrination would question his parents. Maybe even question their morality given they don’t practice in such a way. The 5yo is being given one set of information from parents and another from aunt. Ones a little more intense and dogmatic and has a lot of social support behind it. The other is an absence of action and more subtle. This would almost have to create dissonance in the child, undermining his trust in his parents. The harm isn’t the water or words. It’s the questioning & suspicion the aunt is creating within the child, who may not compartmentalise that solely to the way his folks approach faith.
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I put some blame on the young girl's parents. Why would they ever leave their children in the care of a religious fanatic? This woman pushed her religion onto the girl repeatedly, read the Bible to her, made her go to her church, per OP's story. Sorry, but I would not allow my child to spend time alone with someone like this.
Yup! Instead of wanting to keep the peace you should protect your child. That's your first priority.
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As a kid I had a school teacher (!) who taught religion and was a nutcase just like the aunt in this article. He kept telling us kids that we would all burn in hell if we didn't pray every day or go to church each week. He would go into these fanatic rants until his voice was super loud and his head turned tomato read. The entire class was scared of him so we didn't do anything about it (we were children..) but one day I came home crying and told my mother about the teacher. And that was the starting point for a riot amongst the parents until the teacher was fired. Good riddance.
Yeah, I'd go ballistic if my child was subjected to that religious BS. Good riddance, indeed.
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Did the aunt try to sit in a bathtub of rice? Maybe that'll take up the "unholy" batism water. 🐟🐟🐟
I thought forging someone's signature was pretty illegal or is it not like that in USA?
Nope, it's illegal here too. They shouldn't just report this aunt to the church, but to the police as well.
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Tossing that skull cup of water turned out to be a very effective banishing spell — fellow witches take note!😂
Man, I would think to do this but I wouldn't actually do it. Her parents are great for letting her pick a religion, and not forcing her into one. And OP is even better for putting the Aunt in her place and protecting her brother. Also, the Aunt forged the signature, I smell a lawsuit.
Not simply the overt, very public zealotry we all encounter, but actual religious delusion is pervasive. There’s little actual logic or reality to anything the aunt has said or done. It’s performative; demonstrative. And it isn’t new. My KKKatholic/Xtian aunt & uncle tried the same thing on me when I visited over the summer at 6 years old. Even sending me to confirmation classes so I could be baptized, go to confession & receive communion. Mind you, this was 45 years ago. I lived with my mom in India and was raised in a notorious sect of Hinduism/Vaishnavism. So they weren’t just violating my folks wishes, but actually trying to subvert their beliefs within me. Imagine if my parents had taken a Christian relative, forced them into Gita studies and “confirmed” them as Hindu?! At the time public opinion would have seen it as satanic. Things are barely different today.
I love the threat of keeping a water pistol handy. To add emphasis I'd paint it black and put red pentagrams on it.
You probably can de-baptize your aunt, but I'm affraid that you probably can't declare her as a Christian. Or the Church of Satanic Witches is now an accepted entity regarding baptism?
I think that the CSW now goes by the Westboro Baptist Church.
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Lol way to use the "witch" nonsense against her! "Bipity-bobity-boo, God is out of you!"
Bippity boppity boo god doesn't love you <3
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A little history on this. In the 19th Century, Jewish families in Europe often hired Christian maids or housekeepers. Occasionally if a child was sick, the maid might throw some water on the child and say a Christian prayer. In the eyes of the Church, this meant that the child was now Christian, and unless the parents agreed to convert to Christianity, the child would be forcibly removed from their household and placed with Christian foster parents. Fortunately, if you aren't a believer, the whole baptism ritual is meaningless. I love the idea of pretending to baptize someone into another religion. If the JW's, etc. ever drop by, I might offer them tea, then claim the tea I gave them has baptized them into the Church of Lost Souls, or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
When I was 14, my mom randomly decided I was a witch. I have no idea why. At the time, I was staunch, church-going christian, and you know, a kid. My mom has these 2 sisters who's she's very close to, and the 3 of them sort of act as the matrons of the family. Very covenish, ironically. She told her sisters I was a witch, and by gossiping around, they all managed to convince my entire family that I was a satan worshiper. I was pretty much treated like a pariah through my teen years, and genuinely began to hate christianity because of all this. So, when I grew up, I left home, found some nice folk who don't spew hatred everywhere, and became a witch. Haven't seen most of my family since.
And good riddance to them. Honestly, what possesses some people to be so irrational... especially with their own children? Personally, I'd send them each a handmade poppet with a red thread tied about it's throat on Samhain. Nothing else in the box, just that. 😂
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I was raised Catholic, converted to Gnostic and am a true believer in God. I would love to do this to someone, it's hilarious. I absolutely abhor human dogma that makes God too puny and small minded to have a robust sense of humour.
what Gnostic? Just curious! I prefer to have things explained by people who know about the subject and it means something to them. I've never heard about it before
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You can symbolicly un-baptise/un-christen people - you have a group of athiests/agnostics to witness, and you symbolicly "dry" them with a hair-dryer, and say "I absolve you of choices made for you without your consent." or "Free yourself from childhood indoctrination".
LMAO! I hate religious people. The more religious they are the more judgmental they become.
I find it hysterical that anyone thinks anything real or consequential happens when you pour water on someone and say words. In a real baptism, the person gets wet and hears words. No magical transformation happens. So even if the boy was actually baptized, who cares??? It only means something if the person involved gives it meaning. If it matters to you, great. If someone forcefully baptized me, I'd just laugh. Water and words. Ooooooopoh!!!!
Comments vary from philosophical to flippant. Me, I'm just working up next steps. Maybe a de-baptism... that goes horribly wrong. Black candles, dry ice, covert Bluetooth speaker with unexplained whispers and growls, an "unexplained" power cut, some photoshopped images that show she's never alone. Oh the fun I would have... and the poor aunt would be forever a vessel of our Dark Lord
Aaaaaaand here comes Satan, walking in with a notepad…
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Ironically, your aunt tried to induct your brother in a belief system she actually has very little knowledge of. In Catholicism, like most Christian religion, having a clergyman preside over the baptism is traditional, but not mandatory. She could have done it herself at any time.
" Since the baptism had no real effect on my brother." It is just some bloke pouring water on you. What big effect is it supposed to have?
it's the symbolic meaning of forcing someone to become part of your church. Let's put it another way. If someone put a koran on your desk and said you are now a muslim, and persisted in telling you that you have to be one, and that you must now wear this muslim hat, etc., you'd get irritated with them too.
Load More Replies... Someone in the thread above asked how "de-baptise" yourself is possible. In Italy it is possible to "de-baptise" yourself by filling in a specific form and carrying out a bureaucratic procedure. In this way one is canceled from the list of the baptized.
I wrote to the Catholic church to ask them to remove me from their list or whatever, and some archbishop replied that they consider baptism permanent, like they made a Sharpie mark on your forehead that only God can see, or something like that. Anyway, he did say they'd make a note on their records that I had officially "defected" from the church, so I sent him a thank-you note.
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i especially appreciate that she didn't even perform a ritual- she's just like "lol this woman isn't gonna know, POT TIME"
There is nothing in baptism that makes you a Christian (as one commenter says, the aunt doesn't understand her faith very well) any more than being doused in skull water makes you a Satanist. In either case it is an attitude of the heart. I think this is hilarious, and I say this as a pretty conservative Christian.
Just realize that I am now on the way to pick up some lizard's eyes, goat's blood, nightshade, poison ivy and a Goodyear (A little birdy told me it's great for trapping spirits XD) in order to proceed with a "Who-Knows-What-Juju-Will-Answer" summoning ritual in front of fanatic aunt, even as we speak XD
Why do people care??? It's just water! On the brother and on the aunt. Just let it go
I find it hilarious how your thankful that the baptism was invalid and so isn't actually real. As of a legitimate baptism has any real effect. Also the quote in the article: "In reality, we have no idea whether any faith is correct, or even if there is a god to worship”: no. We definitely know that no faith is correct. And we know there is no such thing as a god. We know this to the same level of certainty that we know unicorns aren't real, and that the moon isn't made of cheese.
It sounds like OP's family has fallen into the trap of tolerating and excusing the crazy person instead of standing up to them. The aunt is an adult who committed the crime of forgery to baptize her nephew against his parent's wishes and apparently most churches frown upon baptizing minors without parent's consent. Yet it seems that the grandparents's are more concerned about the OP fake baptizing the aunt. Also, I guess all those Europeans who really wanted to get in on the spice trade back in the day were witches too.
You should de-baptize her if she wants it. Take a bucket of sand, or cat litter and dump it over her head and tell her she is de-baptized!
Misreading comment. "My mother has been deceased for 11 years, but I haven't told my dad yet as I'm not intereested in a fight". I honestly thought for too long that the commenter didn't tell their dad that their mom / his (ex)wife had died.... I thought some divorce or something...
Hmmmm. Just a vague idea, but since witches were supposedly burned because of their fraternizing with Satan, and your aunt is the bride of Satan...... and the opposite of water is fire..... you know what, nevermind. Unless?
oh jeez I love to tell everyone this, but the Salem people who were accused of being witches were probably sick of ergotism which can come from rye bread. It can cause convulsions, hallucinations, and even gangrene. It's supported by a fair amount of evidence. If you want to read more about it here : https://www.britannica.com/story/how-rye-bread-may-have-caused-the-salem-witch-trials
Load More Replies... " And the baptizing had no effect on my brother." I mean, it is just some bloke pouring water on you. What big effect is it supposed to have?
Pagan here. My relatives did the same thing to me too. This is darling. I will have to remember that one. There seems to be one in the family trying to Christianize the ones they want to "save" everyone. You have the right to religion. You do not have the right to force it on to someone else.
Love this. OP you are an inspiration to everyone who has dealt with religious bat c**p crazy lunatic relatives.
I suggest the mother goes and have a talk to her sisters priest. The aunt needs talking to and its likely that her priest is the only person she'll listen to
I'm kind of surprised that she didn't melt into brown sugar like the Wicked Witch of the East.
Of the West. Eastie just got a house dropped on her a*s.
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The aunt understand baptism. Christians get baptized when they have made the decision to repent of sin and follow Jesus. You can have your kids (or nephew haha) bathed in holy water by catholic priest and and it would mean zero. I mean, if your going to proclaim yourself a Christian, please read your Bible.
I'm sorry, I meant that the aunt does NOT understand baptism. I really need to edit before send
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Somebody I knew from the local atheist organisation said we could take a hairdryer to evaporate any remains of holy water. It was to de-holify an ex-church, but I guess the same applies to humans if you di it with that intention?
She should have told the aunt to ask her priest to debaptise her. Either he is charlatan and make her pay for it or she goes to a real priest. Would love to see his response
This is hilarious. So many religious people demand respect for their beliefs without respecting anybody else. As for how debaptize someone, maybe try to put her in a bowl of rice to absorb the liquid? I heard it works with phones.
As I keep saying - we can respect people's RIGHT to religion, but not the religion itself or the fact that the person is religious. No I DON'T have to respect your vile made-up rules. That doesn't make me unAmerican.
Load More Replies... I like how the aunt believes that OP has a magic power greater than God, to the point that she has magic abilities that not even the Almighty Lord can overrule.
cuz she's obviously a SATANIC WITCH /s (I don't know much about Christianity but I'd assume God has a higher ruling over Satan lol)
Load More Replies... I am a Christian and I 100% support this amazing gal! I am heavily educated in both theology and psychology. Logged training hours and college classes, even. That aunt is a f***ing psycho (vernacular, I hope...). Also, I'm mischievous enough that even Loki would be wary and this teen is a bad***! PS Christians who pull this s*** are on my top tier of WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! list.
I think you are my favorite person I've ever found on bored panda.
Load More Replies... This whole thing is nonsense. Baptism is a SYMBOLIC act, a declaration of faith and a new life in Christ. Without faith it means nothing. The Aunt didn't make OP's brother a Christian, she just got him wet.
True! But children are impressionable. It’s likely a 5yo with this much indoctrination would question his parents. Maybe even question their morality given they don’t practice in such a way. The 5yo is being given one set of information from parents and another from aunt. Ones a little more intense and dogmatic and has a lot of social support behind it. The other is an absence of action and more subtle. This would almost have to create dissonance in the child, undermining his trust in his parents. The harm isn’t the water or words. It’s the questioning & suspicion the aunt is creating within the child, who may not compartmentalise that solely to the way his folks approach faith.
Load More Replies... I put some blame on the young girl's parents. Why would they ever leave their children in the care of a religious fanatic? This woman pushed her religion onto the girl repeatedly, read the Bible to her, made her go to her church, per OP's story. Sorry, but I would not allow my child to spend time alone with someone like this.
Yup! Instead of wanting to keep the peace you should protect your child. That's your first priority.
Load More Replies... As a kid I had a school teacher (!) who taught religion and was a nutcase just like the aunt in this article. He kept telling us kids that we would all burn in hell if we didn't pray every day or go to church each week. He would go into these fanatic rants until his voice was super loud and his head turned tomato read. The entire class was scared of him so we didn't do anything about it (we were children..) but one day I came home crying and told my mother about the teacher. And that was the starting point for a riot amongst the parents until the teacher was fired. Good riddance.
Yeah, I'd go ballistic if my child was subjected to that religious BS. Good riddance, indeed.
Load More Replies... Did the aunt try to sit in a bathtub of rice? Maybe that'll take up the "unholy" batism water. 🐟🐟🐟
I thought forging someone's signature was pretty illegal or is it not like that in USA?
Nope, it's illegal here too. They shouldn't just report this aunt to the church, but to the police as well.
Load More Replies... Tossing that skull cup of water turned out to be a very effective banishing spell — fellow witches take note!😂
Man, I would think to do this but I wouldn't actually do it. Her parents are great for letting her pick a religion, and not forcing her into one. And OP is even better for putting the Aunt in her place and protecting her brother. Also, the Aunt forged the signature, I smell a lawsuit.
Not simply the overt, very public zealotry we all encounter, but actual religious delusion is pervasive. There’s little actual logic or reality to anything the aunt has said or done. It’s performative; demonstrative. And it isn’t new. My KKKatholic/Xtian aunt & uncle tried the same thing on me when I visited over the summer at 6 years old. Even sending me to confirmation classes so I could be baptized, go to confession & receive communion. Mind you, this was 45 years ago. I lived with my mom in India and was raised in a notorious sect of Hinduism/Vaishnavism. So they weren’t just violating my folks wishes, but actually trying to subvert their beliefs within me. Imagine if my parents had taken a Christian relative, forced them into Gita studies and “confirmed” them as Hindu?! At the time public opinion would have seen it as satanic. Things are barely different today.
I love the threat of keeping a water pistol handy. To add emphasis I'd paint it black and put red pentagrams on it.
You probably can de-baptize your aunt, but I'm affraid that you probably can't declare her as a Christian. Or the Church of Satanic Witches is now an accepted entity regarding baptism?
I think that the CSW now goes by the Westboro Baptist Church.
Load More Replies... Lol way to use the "witch" nonsense against her! "Bipity-bobity-boo, God is out of you!"
Bippity boppity boo god doesn't love you <3
Load More Replies... A little history on this. In the 19th Century, Jewish families in Europe often hired Christian maids or housekeepers. Occasionally if a child was sick, the maid might throw some water on the child and say a Christian prayer. In the eyes of the Church, this meant that the child was now Christian, and unless the parents agreed to convert to Christianity, the child would be forcibly removed from their household and placed with Christian foster parents. Fortunately, if you aren't a believer, the whole baptism ritual is meaningless. I love the idea of pretending to baptize someone into another religion. If the JW's, etc. ever drop by, I might offer them tea, then claim the tea I gave them has baptized them into the Church of Lost Souls, or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
When I was 14, my mom randomly decided I was a witch. I have no idea why. At the time, I was staunch, church-going christian, and you know, a kid. My mom has these 2 sisters who's she's very close to, and the 3 of them sort of act as the matrons of the family. Very covenish, ironically. She told her sisters I was a witch, and by gossiping around, they all managed to convince my entire family that I was a satan worshiper. I was pretty much treated like a pariah through my teen years, and genuinely began to hate christianity because of all this. So, when I grew up, I left home, found some nice folk who don't spew hatred everywhere, and became a witch. Haven't seen most of my family since.
And good riddance to them. Honestly, what possesses some people to be so irrational... especially with their own children? Personally, I'd send them each a handmade poppet with a red thread tied about it's throat on Samhain. Nothing else in the box, just that. 😂
Load More Replies... I was raised Catholic, converted to Gnostic and am a true believer in God. I would love to do this to someone, it's hilarious. I absolutely abhor human dogma that makes God too puny and small minded to have a robust sense of humour.
what Gnostic? Just curious! I prefer to have things explained by people who know about the subject and it means something to them. I've never heard about it before
Load More Replies... You can symbolicly un-baptise/un-christen people - you have a group of athiests/agnostics to witness, and you symbolicly "dry" them with a hair-dryer, and say "I absolve you of choices made for you without your consent." or "Free yourself from childhood indoctrination".
LMAO! I hate religious people. The more religious they are the more judgmental they become.
I find it hysterical that anyone thinks anything real or consequential happens when you pour water on someone and say words. In a real baptism, the person gets wet and hears words. No magical transformation happens. So even if the boy was actually baptized, who cares??? It only means something if the person involved gives it meaning. If it matters to you, great. If someone forcefully baptized me, I'd just laugh. Water and words. Ooooooopoh!!!!
Comments vary from philosophical to flippant. Me, I'm just working up next steps. Maybe a de-baptism... that goes horribly wrong. Black candles, dry ice, covert Bluetooth speaker with unexplained whispers and growls, an "unexplained" power cut, some photoshopped images that show she's never alone. Oh the fun I would have... and the poor aunt would be forever a vessel of our Dark Lord
Aaaaaaand here comes Satan, walking in with a notepad…
Load More Replies... Ironically, your aunt tried to induct your brother in a belief system she actually has very little knowledge of. In Catholicism, like most Christian religion, having a clergyman preside over the baptism is traditional, but not mandatory. She could have done it herself at any time.
" Since the baptism had no real effect on my brother." It is just some bloke pouring water on you. What big effect is it supposed to have?
it's the symbolic meaning of forcing someone to become part of your church. Let's put it another way. If someone put a koran on your desk and said you are now a muslim, and persisted in telling you that you have to be one, and that you must now wear this muslim hat, etc., you'd get irritated with them too.
Load More Replies... Someone in the thread above asked how "de-baptise" yourself is possible. In Italy it is possible to "de-baptise" yourself by filling in a specific form and carrying out a bureaucratic procedure. In this way one is canceled from the list of the baptized.
I wrote to the Catholic church to ask them to remove me from their list or whatever, and some archbishop replied that they consider baptism permanent, like they made a Sharpie mark on your forehead that only God can see, or something like that. Anyway, he did say they'd make a note on their records that I had officially "defected" from the church, so I sent him a thank-you note.
Load More Replies... i especially appreciate that she didn't even perform a ritual- she's just like "lol this woman isn't gonna know, POT TIME"
There is nothing in baptism that makes you a Christian (as one commenter says, the aunt doesn't understand her faith very well) any more than being doused in skull water makes you a Satanist. In either case it is an attitude of the heart. I think this is hilarious, and I say this as a pretty conservative Christian.
Just realize that I am now on the way to pick up some lizard's eyes, goat's blood, nightshade, poison ivy and a Goodyear (A little birdy told me it's great for trapping spirits XD) in order to proceed with a "Who-Knows-What-Juju-Will-Answer" summoning ritual in front of fanatic aunt, even as we speak XD
Why do people care??? It's just water! On the brother and on the aunt. Just let it go
I find it hilarious how your thankful that the baptism was invalid and so isn't actually real. As of a legitimate baptism has any real effect. Also the quote in the article: "In reality, we have no idea whether any faith is correct, or even if there is a god to worship”: no. We definitely know that no faith is correct. And we know there is no such thing as a god. We know this to the same level of certainty that we know unicorns aren't real, and that the moon isn't made of cheese.
It sounds like OP's family has fallen into the trap of tolerating and excusing the crazy person instead of standing up to them. The aunt is an adult who committed the crime of forgery to baptize her nephew against his parent's wishes and apparently most churches frown upon baptizing minors without parent's consent. Yet it seems that the grandparents's are more concerned about the OP fake baptizing the aunt. Also, I guess all those Europeans who really wanted to get in on the spice trade back in the day were witches too.
You should de-baptize her if she wants it. Take a bucket of sand, or cat litter and dump it over her head and tell her she is de-baptized!
Misreading comment. "My mother has been deceased for 11 years, but I haven't told my dad yet as I'm not intereested in a fight". I honestly thought for too long that the commenter didn't tell their dad that their mom / his (ex)wife had died.... I thought some divorce or something...
Hmmmm. Just a vague idea, but since witches were supposedly burned because of their fraternizing with Satan, and your aunt is the bride of Satan...... and the opposite of water is fire..... you know what, nevermind. Unless?
oh jeez I love to tell everyone this, but the Salem people who were accused of being witches were probably sick of ergotism which can come from rye bread. It can cause convulsions, hallucinations, and even gangrene. It's supported by a fair amount of evidence. If you want to read more about it here : https://www.britannica.com/story/how-rye-bread-may-have-caused-the-salem-witch-trials
Load More Replies... " And the baptizing had no effect on my brother." I mean, it is just some bloke pouring water on you. What big effect is it supposed to have?
Pagan here. My relatives did the same thing to me too. This is darling. I will have to remember that one. There seems to be one in the family trying to Christianize the ones they want to "save" everyone. You have the right to religion. You do not have the right to force it on to someone else.
Love this. OP you are an inspiration to everyone who has dealt with religious bat c**p crazy lunatic relatives.
I suggest the mother goes and have a talk to her sisters priest. The aunt needs talking to and its likely that her priest is the only person she'll listen to
I'm kind of surprised that she didn't melt into brown sugar like the Wicked Witch of the East.
Of the West. Eastie just got a house dropped on her a*s.
Load More Replies... The aunt understand baptism. Christians get baptized when they have made the decision to repent of sin and follow Jesus. You can have your kids (or nephew haha) bathed in holy water by catholic priest and and it would mean zero. I mean, if your going to proclaim yourself a Christian, please read your Bible.
I'm sorry, I meant that the aunt does NOT understand baptism. I really need to edit before send
Load More Replies... Somebody I knew from the local atheist organisation said we could take a hairdryer to evaporate any remains of holy water. It was to de-holify an ex-church, but I guess the same applies to humans if you di it with that intention?
She should have told the aunt to ask her priest to debaptise her. Either he is charlatan and make her pay for it or she goes to a real priest. Would love to see his response
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