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True crime podcasts, shows, and stories are incredibly popular because they give you a glimpse into the darkest, most spine-chilling parts of humanity. One upside is that they can also help protect you from some of the same threats that others have fallen victim to. It is incredibly uncomfortable, but potentially life-saving, to recognize criminal behavior patterns in the people around you—including your loved ones.
Fans of true crime content took to a terrifying online discussion to reveal all the dangerous behaviors they recognized, all thanks to their hobby. If you want to feel uncomfortable and creeped out, this is the post for you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It’s not exactly true crime, but my interest in it ties back to my mom’s story. She lost three of her brothers during the civil war in Somalia—one of them is still presumed d**d because his body was never found. This was all before she got married and had kids. Growing up, she was so paranoid every time we left the house. She’d call or text us constantly, and honestly, I found it really annoying. I’d get frustrated and sometimes even be rude to her.
But when I started learning about true crime, I also started to understand trauma. It hit me that my mom never really had the chance to deal with hers. Her paranoia started to make sense—one of her brothers literally left home one day and never came back. She still does this sometimes, but I think my interest in true crime has helped me understand her better and be more patient with her.
Learning to recognize potentially dangerous behavior can help protect your health and life, as well as those of the people around you. Some warning signs will be incredibly overt and in-your-face, while others can be subtle and hard to catch.
According to Stanford University, concerning behaviors can take many different forms, including in group interactions, one-on-one settings, public behavior, blogs, on social media, in emails, during phone calls, in text messages, and in photos.
For example, some major warning signs include:
- Threatening communications
- Expressing the intent to harm someone
- Violent fantasies
- Sending disturbing messages
- Alarming coursework content
- Making statements that promote violent problem-solving
RELATED:
#2
Some years ago, a few friends and I were out drinking one night at various bars/clubs. A young woman about our age, maybe a few years younger, started walking right beside us as we were walking from Bar A to Bar B. She wasn’t saying anything. It became obvious something was wrong. She only said her name. I asked how much she had to drink and she didn’t know/couldn’t answer. I asked if she was on something and she couldn’t answer. I asked where her friends were, she couldn’t answer.
I finally grabbed her, took her to the bathroom, and got her phone. She was coherent enough to give me the password. I pulled up her recent texts and found a thread with her friends she’d been out with that night. Their texts were saying “Hannah where are you?” I called one of them and said “Hannah is at ___, you need to come get her immediately.” I stayed with her until her friend arrived.
I thought and still think that Hannah was d*****d that night. I was texting with the friend who picked up Hannah for the next 24ish hours.
Thankfully, Hannah was okay. It sends a shiver down my spine at the thought that she might not have been, though.
#3
I have realized that my BIL is scary AF and reminds me of a family annihilator the way he refers to his family like property and has a stockpile of weapons to "protect" them. He has slowly become more antisocial over the years and now won't even make eye contact or speak directly to anyone who isn't his wife, children, or parents. He has always had giant dogs and refuses to socialize them because he "doesn't want them to be nice to strangers". He also has cameras all over the house and doesn't tell anyone. He is a former paramedic and friends with lots of law enforcement types.
I worry that my sister couldn't leave him even if she wanted to. I know he sees my family as meddling even if we just ask them to dinner.
Other warning signs, according to Stanford University, include major anger problems, a habit of violating campus laws and policies, disruptive behavior, irritability, social alienation, substance misuse, unexplained absenteeism, and drastic changes in behavior, whether sudden or otherwise.
Meanwhile, you should also be wary of signs such as someone holding grudges, being irrationally suspicious, holding bizarre beliefs, behaving strangely, exhibiting paranoia, radical changes in appearance and hygiene, and stalking others.
Your alarm bells should be going off if the person often takes part in conflicts with others, has been violent with their partners, and has access to weapons.
#4
I recognized something from my history and every now and then I think about it and it freaks me out. I was 16 - 17 working in a hometown burger shop. It was nighttime - dark, close to closing and snowing out so we didn't really have any customers. There were 3 of us there - a cook (25 - 30 year old lady) and then two teenage girls.
I was fighting with my boyfriend, so I was actually on the phone with him. It was an old phone that attached to the wall and I was able to move from the front near the cash register back to the kitchen. This guy comes in with a coat on and his hood up - it was snowing and cold so no big deal to me. The other girl asked him if he wanted something and he said he wasn't sure, so she went about doing something else. He went over and pretended to look at the songs on the juke box. He keep kinda glancing my way and seemed really nervous while he was there. But I was on the phone and kept moving to the back and then back out front to see if he was ready to order - I was going to take his order while I was on the phone lol. He hung around without ordering for about 15 minutes pretending to be interested at the juke box and sneaking peeks at me out of the corner of his eye while glancing at the other girl fill the salt shakers or something. And I remember him being real fidgety with his hands in his jacket pockets. When another person's car pulled into the lot with a family in it, he turned around and left real quick.
I watch a good bit of true crime and during one of the shows it hit me - he was going to rob us (at minimum) and he was just waiting for me to to hang up the phone so I couldn't alert anyone. Scares the s**t out of me now.
#5
When i was in college, there was a gas station across the street, off campus. for context: i’ve always stayed on top of my car maintenance, state inspections, etc. and this was maybe a week or so after i did my state inspection.
i went to the gas station around 8pm before heading home. as i’m pumping gas, a man in a safety vest comes up to me. he keeps his distance, but he points at my front wheels and says that i have a flat. i said something along the lines of “thank u for letting me know, i’ll take a look.” he tells me to walk over to him so he can show me. he was very pushy about it too. i had my phone on me and told him i texted my boyfriend who is coming from the same university across the street. he immediately rushed off. needless to say, i did not have a flat, and my car was perfectly fine
i was very confused by the interaction, and now years later i realize he was probably trying to get me distracted and do something terrible. i live in a city with one of the largest numbers of s*x trafficking so it always sends a chill down my spine remembering this.
#6
I worked for a company that sold a product where we took monthly payments for long periods of time, think of a rent to own sort of situation.
I talked to this guy a few times over the course of a year or so, never met him since we were 2 different states. He always gave me a weird vibe.
One day he calls and explains he’s in ‘the hospital’ and his dad and kid can make his payments for him and to call them. So I talk to his dad, collect payment, and he basically tells me he and his grandson are afraid of him. Um, okay, weird info I didn’t ask for, but again guy gave me a vibe so I wasn’t shocked. I googled this guy and found a news article. He was in fact in a mental hospital for breaking into a building and setting a fire. His home was inspected and the cops found some disturbing things, but it didn’t lead to any additional charges or anything. I also looked at his facebook.
I explained the article I read about the incident/what they found at his home and what I saw on his facebook to my partner and said, “this guy is going to k**l someone”.
He gets off with a few years probation for the fire incident, continues making payments.
Fast forward about 4 years I don’t work for this company anymore but got to thinking about this guy for some reason, I think I had told the story to someone or something…I google him again and like 10 days prior he was arrested for m**dering 2 people.
As reported by BetterHelp, true crime content continues to become ever more popular. Currently, around half of all Americans enjoy the true crime genre, while 13% reported that it is their favorite.
However, this is not a new phenomenon. Humanity has long been fascinated by dark and criminal stories. The fascination is ages old, but what changes is the format of the stories. New tech gives rise to new media.
Based on the findings of a recent study, 73% of true crime fans said that they consumed it out of curiosity. 46% said that they found the content entertaining, 45% enjoyed the mystery element in the stories, 33% loved the storytelling, and 32% reported that they were fascinated by the genre.
Meanwhile, just 10% admitted that they consumed true crime content for the adrenaline, and merely 7% said that they use it to prepare themselves for potential crimes.
#7
In the 90s, just after reading Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear, I went to my daily dog park with my dog and one of the women there had a new boyfriend. Instant off vibes. Just d**d eyes. He creeped me out. Really mean to anyone who asked him questions. Made weird comments. My gut would start screaming whenever he was around. He later took her hostage at her home and a SWAT team had to extract her from her home. And when she came back to the dog park, a bunch of us said we all knew it was gonna happen, some of us told you, and now you know when we are so sorry.
She was held in her home for hours. When he finally left and they tried to chase him, she said she thought she really was gonna d*e that day.
When a man does something like this, unless they are seriously mentally ill and need to be institutionalized, I don't think they should be allowed around people ever again. That's the kind of person that will never learn and never change.
Chrystina Sumpter 3 hours ago
So many women are taught to be polite and not make waves and predators take advantage of this. I read about a serial killer who said he watched his victims and saw how their instincts were telling them to run away, but they overrode those instincts because they were afraid of being rude. I, on the other hand, was taught to listen to my gut and if I didn’t feel safe to make as big a commotion as possible. As Mom always said, “Better embarrassed than d**d.”
#8
I had a coworker who's wife left him. and when he told us what had happened it was obvious that she was fleeing an a*****e relationship. he told me stories about their relationship and it was INSANE the level of a***e he was comfortable admitting to. holding a pillow over her face because she wasn't in the mood to have s*x was the worst one. he claimed "that's her duty as my wife. so i was mad, and i held a pillow over her face, just for a little bit but then i stopped and we prayed and god forgave me and i forgave her and that was it." it was BAD.
so when she left, she got some friends to come and pack her stuff and flee while he was at work and couldn't stop her. and as soon as he said that i knew what kind of guy he was even before hearing any other stories. and it was clear he was escalating. he got into her email account and found the address to her new place and was mad because "how could she get a new place while without me knowing??" and he was getting angrier and angrier. and then one morning he came in and said he was "almost at his limit" because he went to her place, sat outside in his car, and started texting her. he said he asked what she was doing, and when she said "oh nothing just getting ready for bed" he flipped out because he "knew she was lying because all the lights were off."
so we called the cops :) she got a restraining order, and he was an absolute moron so he missed his court date. and he was so confused about how she found out. like he wasn't admitting to heinous acts of a***e to a captive audience.
Sven Horlemann 2 hours ago
The "God" you are hearing is just your inner voice following whatever you decide to make up, mostly empowering yourself. Despicable.
#9
Years ago, I dated a dangerous man and the relationship played a big part of the reason I got into true crime. He exhibited all the markers of sociopathy: glibness, charm, deceit, delusions of grandeur, flat affect, callousness, disregard for his safety and disregard for the safety of others.
Fortunately I clocked some of these details and was able to strategize my exit. When I left, he stalked me for years and called 100-150 times per day on and off for months at a time. I changed my number 6x because of the harassment. On more than one occasion, he said he would k**l me. He not only described how he would k**l me, but how he would k**l anyone I dated.
He stalked me at my jobs too, in one instance he waited outside my work at nighttime and followed me to my car. He showed up at two of my homes. I moved around a lot so he would have a harder time finding me, I also quit my jobs and changed my hair color. This man was SCARY, even with a restraining order.
It was because I watched true crime that I was able to see him for what he was and stay a few steps ahead so he couldn’t do the things he threatened. It’s been years and sometimes I’ll still catch myself looking over my shoulder or worrying that I’ll get an invasive call or text, but last I heard he’s moved to another state so there’s some distance at least. I feel safer now, at the very least much better prepared to recognize predatory traits and protect myself.
“While true crime content may help some individuals feel more prepared and safe, it can lead to adverse mental health effects for others. True crime content can also result in mixed effects on the families of victims and the communities where crimes have taken place,” BetterHelp warns.
Are you fans of true crime content, Pandas? Have these kinds of stories ever protected you? What are the most dangerous and threatening behaviors that you learned to recognize?
Share your insights and stories in the comments.
#10
I left my first husband because he reminded me of Scott Peterson when I was pregnant. I left him because he acted as if I wasn’t pregnant. He stopped speaking to me, slept on the floor of the home office we were supposed to be making a nursery, and had a fit when we found out that I was pregnant with a girl.
He began treating my first born child from another relationship like he was treating me: staring blankly like I’m not even speaking right in front of my face, and ignoring everything I said about prepping for the baby.
I left when he was at work with my pregnant a*s and a toddler. Now I’m remarried and we all rock (except for him, but he’s got 50/50 custody anyway).
As the guardian ad litem said: even if he was beating you in front of the oldest child, the law says he would get 50% shared parenting time.
No one should have to go through what Laci Peterson went through. I hope her family is at peace.
#11
For me, it was recognizing that my son had actually dropped out of college and was lying about going to school. It really freaked me out and caused a rift for a long time in our family because I blurted out, "OH my god, this is the kind of situation where the kid k**ls his entire family." (Bad move on my part.)
I didn't realize what was going on because he had moved in with his father. And he kept saying that he was having difficulty coming up with the money for his "last semester" of college. I kept offering to pay for it and he kept insisting that he had missed the deadline for registration. This went on for about six months, and I tried to stay out of it. Then it turned out that his Father and Stepmother told him he needed to get his own apartment if he wasn't going to go back to college. (I guess to motivate him)
I went to visit him and we were discussing a topic related to his field. and as we kept talking I realized he didn't know ANYTHING about his field, especially for someone who was almost going to graduate. (Ex: something like plumbing, where not knowing a very basic thing, like how copper is the preferred piping to use, knowing that a WASHER is a type of plastic piece used in the piping, not a washing machine.) And as I'm sitting there it dawned on me that he had probably dropped out of college at the very beginning and had been lying the entire time.
It was right around the Chandler Halderson case which is the only reason I think I caught it. It wasn't as bad as his case and was just a matter of hiding that he didn't want to go into the field after all. He's since moved on to a different field and is doing well.
But it was so shocking when it suddenly dawned on me. I don't think I would have realized it at all if not for this case and the Thomas Whittaker case. It completely freaked me out.
Becky Samuel 3 hours ago
They went straight from 'kid dropped out of school and was ashamed to tell his mom' to 'kid is a psycho kil ler'. Wow. There is a LOT of information missing here and a VERY unreliable narrator.
#12
I recognized a creepy micro smile on opposing counsel and knew she was setting me up.
I watched a true crime show about a woman who was on the news saying she was distraught about a m****r, but she smiled. It was just this weird half smile for a moment. They were saying that her c**kiness didn’t fit the situation. And eventually they found out she’d m******d her husband. On another show they had a neighbor who was interviewed and he did that same creepy thing. Sort of watching to see how his statement hits, and then smiling at what he’s seeing.
A while later I was having coffee with another lawyer who wanted us to agree to mediation and gave me a big song and dance about how we were going to work together. She did the same thing. Watched me, then just had a little smile when I nodded.
I just knew she was lying. And she was.
To be fair, it’s not like you have to be psychic to know a lawyer is lying. It was just weird that she had no reason to lie to me. We weren’t on opposite sides. What it turned out she was doing was trying to set me up to make me look bad. She wanted to give my client to her friend (likely because she knew I don’t cooperate to overbill, or maybe she just didn’t like me).
That creepy smile she gave was absolutely chilling though. I’ve never talked to her again. I went back to the office and protected myself every way I could think of. Then I wrote her off, correctly.
Becky Samuel 3 hours ago
You have to be very careful when trying to match peoples' body language, or microexpressions, or what have you to their intentions. Human beings are very poor at spotting lies, or abu sers, otherwise liars and abu sers wouldn't exist. Someone who gives a 'weird smile' might be trying to decieve you, or they might be trying to hold in a fart!
#13
Watched enough true crime that by the time I was in my teens I was seriously observant. Noticed the same cars in the area with the same groups within driving almost identical circuits around the town… loops that you could almost time your watch by. They’d loop one high street and the surrounding area slowly, drive to the other side of town and do the same thing and then back again. Most had tinted windows and would slow right down to get a look at you but you couldn’t see them.
If you were alone (f) or with a few friends (also exclusively female) they would almost crawl to a halt and sometimes they would open one or multiple windows and hang out, showing off bottles of vodka or joints and inviting you to ‘go party’ or ‘come chill’. There would always be multiple guys in the car and they would all join in, asking and encouraging before cajoling gave way to ‘you f****n slag, you think you’re too good to party with us’ and other demeaning insults and threats if you said no.
I didn’t know what it was but I knew it wasn’t right and the night they caught me alone I knew there wasn’t a chance I was getting in that car… The whole thing was too organised, too regular, too f****n weird and the way they slid from charm to threats so fluidly made my stomach churn- like the charm had only ever been a way to lure you into that car. It made me think of the stereotypical predator luring kids to his vehicle with promises of puppies. I also remember watching a TC doc not long before that said never let them take you to a second location and that had really stuck.
Long story short, it was a prolific s*x ring.
The loops were them poaching new victims and monitoring existing ones alongside everything that came with that.
#14
This thread actually prompted me to go and look up an ex who physically, emotionally and s******y a****d me when we were younger. There’s not a case in particular but after watching more true crime, I finally reconciled with the fact that I was a victim of a***e and have since said that if I could imagine any of my toxic exes committing a criminal act, it would be him. He had a habit of choking me when angered, which, is obviously not a good outlook for anyone to be doing that, much less a teenager.
Sure enough, I just found out he’s currently in jail for r**e amongst other things.
#15
This is such a great question and my first thought would also be the same if I was in your shoes with your son!
My answer is my brother in law- he took joy in harming animals when he was younger, he was a bully, he loved to set fires, and he was a bed wetter almost into preteen years.
He’s a really nice guy now as an adult but when my husband was describing him as a child/teen, I was like omg he’s gonna be on the news as a serial k**ler lol. But he’s genuinely harmless and does not have remotely enough confidence to k**l anyone. But what’s funny is when he came to visit recently, my cats who are extremely social with strangers were instantly TERRIFIED of him and would not even be on the same floor as him. I had to feed them in my room with the door closed, otherwise they would not eat. It’s like they sensed his past with animals.
#16
When my kids got older and had more freedom and made new friends, I started losing track of them. Especially my son, he seemed to have friends all over the city, I was dropping him off and picking him up all over.
And of course, I barely have any parents' numbers. I had no friends' numbers. When I was his age, I was the same way. Thinking back, my parents probably knew less about where I was.
Well, I was watching some cold case show by accident cause I hate them, and this is why. Mom says her son just walked out one day to go hang out and never came home.
She didn't have a clue where to even begin looking for him. No idea where he was or who he was with. No idea where he MIGHT be. Never saw him again.
Where was my son at the time? Out. Out where? With who? I didn't know. If I wanted to, I could have at least gone to knock on some doors. But man, was that eye-opening.
I started tracking his phone after that. I already had his sister's, and he was resistant, but I made him turn it on.
#17
Honestly I was interested in true crime stories for a few months and now I just avoid them altogether. It's probably made me a bit wiser or more cautious of other people, but some of the cases upset me pretty bad and I seemed to always feel like the situation could not really be fixed because we could not bring the victims back to life. The details are usually what end up bothering me the most. Ive learned that I definitely don't always want to know everything. Sometimes I would probably rather not have to hear the terrible details.
#18
Yes. My now ex (but still friends) has a sister who is a dating a man who has beat her, strangled her, k****d her kitten and they all just accepted the excuses of “he doesn’t know any better” “he was raised differently” until I sat him down and explained how much danger his sister is in. Unfortunately, she is still with him and they know have a child but her family keeps a closer eye on her and has resources ready for her when she is ready to leave.
#19
When a relative started filling his FB page with sappy love notes praising his wife, it immediately make me think their marriage must be in trouble. They were separated within a few months, and he’s now in prison for, among other things, as**ulting and threatening to k**l her.
It just looked so much like so many accounts of domestic violence — and spousal m****r — that I’d seen in descriptions of notorious crimes.
#20
My ex said he understood why Chris Watts did it. At the time I was a moron and just thought he had a lot of empathy and just really hated MLMs.
Well. He ended up cheating on me and as**ulted me twice. Intimidated me during a doctor visit so I wouldn't tell them what was going on.
I got out. I hope that girl does too.
#21
I realized my ex was becoming a*****e through small acts. It ended with him actually attempting to k**l me and a restraining order.
Peter Bear 15 hours ago
A B U S I V E and K I L L . Yes, I'm going to keep uncensoring your censorship, BP.
#22
My husband and I think that one of our kid’s friend’s fathers was trying to groom our 5 y.o. daughter. He kept trying to be alone with her, he’d be overly handsy and affectionate with her, he’d always tickle her or run his fingers up her arm, he’d encourage her to climb all over him (like, doing “upsy down” flips etc)…. Basically, there was an ongoing pattern of behaviour which seemed to revolve around encouraging over-familiarity, isolation, and boundary-pushing. (And for context, we don’t know this guy AT ALL outside of school. We have known him for only 12 months, and have never socialised with him except for school pick-up / functions / kid’s birthday parties.)
I clocked all the red flags very early due to true crime podcasts and also some child safety accounts I follow on Instagram.
Luckily, this guy and his family have moved to another town 30 minutes away and no longer attend our school. So hopefully we never see them again. Because BOY did he make me uncomfortable and BOY did I not want my kid anywhere near him.
#23
My present husband was as nice as could be until about 4 years into our marriage. Once in awhile something would show up but I brushed it off. Now 30 years later he is the most hateful, narcissistic a*****e I've ever met. I basically CAN'T stand him but at 80 years old what do I do but just bide my time and hope I kick the bucket soon.
#24
Yes, I ignored the big red flag of my ex saying she would watch me in my sleep and think about k*****g me (w*f). Later on when I had SEVERE allergic reaction to her ferrets, she laughed and said she knew from that point on if she wanted to k**l me she could just rub a ferret on my face.
Eventually, she strangled me unconscious after slamming me into the trunk of my car so hard it left a massive dent.
This ex now lives as a Trans man and was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge for abusing another girlfriend a couple years after. I fear for any woman they date, because my ex has connections with a county sheriff and the mother works for lawyers. That misdemeanor charge and the mug shot have mysteriously disappeared.
#25
A woman in my neighborhood just posted a video on our neighborhood fb page from her security camera over her garage of her next-door neighbor blowing leaves onto her lawn. She said that she also walks by multiple times a day and stops in front of her house to let her dog p**p in her yard. She also mentioned other situations they’ve had with her where she’s blaring her music so loudly that ppl 2 streets over can hear. Basically just a toxic neighbor from hell.
She had just posted something similar with her doing the leaf blowing thing a few days ago. Apparently she does this like 3 times a day to her, every day.
Her neighbor is one of those women who creates chaos and drama with everyone around her and is well-known in the neighborhood for ranting and raving and causing problems. She has been involved in numerous altercations threatening the neighbors and HOA members, and has various misdemeanors and lawsuits filed against her for her behavior.
Three families around her have moved bc of her. She’s been blocked from the neighborhood page bc she can’t remain civil and uses foul language, etc, so she can’t see these posts and reply to them.
However, word got back to her, so she’s been going onto all the other pages within our community just going OFF on the lady who posted about her.
I’m pretty worried that this crazy lady is going to end up on dateline one of these days, bc she escalates things so badly and just goes apeshit on anyone who stands up to her nonsense.
Ppl are telling the lady who’s posting about her to just ignore her but she’s not backing down. I just don’t think this is going to end well.
#26
I was listening to a podcast about a husband who k****d his wife, and it turned out he had Intermittent Explosive Disorder and the red flags had been there for years. As I was listening, I realized the guy/disorder sounded eerily like one of my family member's husband, with whom she was in a really bad spot at the time. Googled the disorder when I got to work and he matched almost every symptom. I (very gently but straightforwardly) gave her the information about the disorder and the treatment options for it and she agreed it sounded just like him, but they are still together and as far as I know it was never looked further into. I worry about her all the time.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 minute ago
I have given women literal Tarassoff's warnings. Like, "I'm worried this man could k**l you or your child." Coming from the psychiatrist. And been ignored. "I don't want to leave my husband." Ma'am, your husband is psychotic and thinks about k*****g you. It wasn't enough that the state would hold him. But I sure as hell told his wife. They stayed together.
#27
There's was a nice old man in my condo complex who was caught on surveillance spraying people with chemicals as they walked by his place. Totally unprovoked.
He is/was known to be a very nice, kind man. Goes to church every Sunday, always a kind word for his neighbors, especially the lady with cerebral palsy. Looking back, he did always walk slowly, but deliberately, hands tightly gripped behind his back, head slightly lowered. Big shock to everyone. Essentially, he was trying to injur or k**l.
IMO, the hands tightly gripped behind his back was his way of consciously or subconsciously controlling himself in public. Poor guy must be filled with hatred. How painful that must be.
Tyranamar Seuss 8 minutes ago
OMG. Now people can't walk with their hands behind their back. Some of this is truly insane. And it's not the perpetrators I'm talking about.
#28
Yes. After watching a few shows about toxic women I started to think there is a good chance my friend may try to k**l her ex husband.
#29
A woman I knew claimed her house had been broken into and ransacked and was getting donations to buy new stuff. I went there with a friend who was bringing her some bedding and the damage was totally superficial and it was cheap c**p that got broken. I said, "She did that," off a book by some criminal profiler I read years ago. The woman's mom finally confronted her about it because she'd never filed a police report and was asking for so much more than was "lost" and she admitted it.
#30
Interestingly enough, I was your son for a year. I was not prepared for college and nearly failed out my freshman year. I was placed on academic suspension for a semester but ended up taking a year off. I I was so ashamed of myself because I had always excelled academically up until that point that it caused me to have a mental breakdown. I eventually told my family after enrolling in classes again and ended up getting all As and Bs the rest of my collegiate career. I was just so terrified up being a disappointment to my family that I couldn’t tell them.
#31
There was a girl I was friends with for a short 3 months before I watched her display some pretty damning traits that made me realize she was probably going to become one of those women who k**ls pregnant women for their babies and low and behold she didn't k**l someone but she definitely tried to steal another woman's child.
#32
I am constantly worried about my ex-SIL and her increasingly dangerous narcissism. she has a license to carry and seems to look forward to opportunities to use her firearm. one time she thought there was an intruder in her home (residential cul-de-sac in a quiet town) at 3pm on a school day and came around the corner ready to sh**t the intruder. it was actually her son home from school at the usual time. my brother and his kids laugh the incident off but it literally haunts me because i am afraid that one day she will just snap and hurt her children and i will think back to my concerns and my inaction. the kids are safer without her in their lives but it’s ultimately up to my brother and i imagine that getting any CPS or DCF or whatever would make everything worse.
#33
I(34f)had a recent fall out with my older brother(38)over a haircut. I was in the middle of assembling a trundle for my room, and while I usually cut his hair here and there, I wasn’t in the mood especially since his hygiene is lacking most days and I wanted to focus on setting up my room(slept on a Japanese floor mattress up to this point). He refuses to get a haircut at a salon because he was used to getting a haircut from his ex and because honestly he is a recluse who spends 95% of his time PC gaming when he isn’t working in construction with my dad. He has untreated ADHD and trauma from a narcissistic upbringing like myself but while ive been open to healing,learning,and progressing, he is stuck in toxic loops of denial and bad habits/sour attitude.
When I told him I did not want to cut his hair and urged him to just wash up and go to a salon, he suddenly asks me to pay up for money I owed him 6months ago when I was out of work for 2months(we agreed I would pay him back after the shared lease was over) I could hear the growing animosity in his tone so I told him nice chat but I had to start getting ready for my day and closed and locked the door on him. He was upset that I closed the door on him and said he wasn’t done talking to me through my door, that I needed to pay up and started calling me a f***ing b**** and banging on my door.
He also brought up my past relationships and blamed me for them ending and winding up with him. I urged him to stop and to chill out but the banging continued and he kept going back and forth about me not cutting his hair and being a cheap dumb b****. He then started to test different keys he had on him to unlock the door and at this point I’m yelling for him to stop and that I would call our Dad.There’s a pause for a moment but he returns with a big kitchen knife, forcing it through the door slit and using it to try to jimmy the door lock open somehow.
At this point I’m calling my Dad and describing the escalating situation and that I did not feel safe. He’s on his way at this point from his house which is 8 mins away. All attempts to get into my room ceased. Garage door opens and it’s my dad, we sit down on the garage chairs to talk about the incident and the first thing he says to me is “ I know you’re sensitive”. It sunk me. I let my dad continue on and he ended it with “I know how your brother is, just give it time and each other space. I will talk to him” we have a talk in the kitchen on both sides of the story which gets interrupted by a FaceTime call from my aunts who are trying to set up a birthday call to my grandma which given the heightened emotions and tears streaming down my face I do not feel is the best time but to my surprise,My dad answers to say hello and hands over the phone to me before I shuffle it back to him and tell him no it’s not a good time, leaving the kitchen entirely.
I’m in my room just shocked at how things were being handled, like someone just got a nick on their finger and put a bandaid on. Like no I felt my life was being threatened and hello boundaries triggered! In the hallway I can hear my brother stomping to his room while he bad mouths me to my aunts on speaker phone still referring me to that f****** b**** who owes him money to which my aunts respond “if your sister owes you money she should pay you back but be nice to your sister from this moment further” my dad and brother go on a drive and I leave to get new door locks with my own key. When I return to install my new door locks I hear the garage opening and it’s both of them. My Dad is reassuring me that everything is good now but I can see that my brother is still upset but ignoring me. Dad says He wouldn’t go to a salon to get a haircut with him and to just give each other space for now and leaves.
To be Frank, it wasnt about the haircut! My brother has the makings to be a k**ler since he holds grudges(hasn’t spoke to our mom in 20 years)takes score, acts on intense emotion rather then logic, deflects and lacks accountability, is desensitized to violence and s*x, and detached from reality because of his endless PC gaming. Trauma can spread and continue on through mirror observation that’s for d**n sure, I’m grateful for having a moral compass and being self aware but I wonder if it’s too late for my brother and if one day I’m going to hear that he hurt some person or worse.
#34
A few years ago, I was at the credit union down the road from me, and I informed an employee that there was a car in the parking lot full of people who I felt might be casing the place to rob it. There were several young adults with hoodies pulled over their heads and faces, and by the time the officer came over to look out the window by the front door, they were driving in a circle around the building. When they saw us at the window, they drove off.
Maybe it was a false alarm, but they were definitely out of place there.
#35
I recognized sociopathy in a man I worked with. I fought back and made sure that he was eventually fired. It was in a university setting and he had manipulated so many people, including students over the years.
#36
My aunt did, with my other aunt.
Aunt A has one surviving child. She's very smart and sweet but suffers from some disabilities and has a really difficult time standing up for herself and identifying when something isn't right. She will always need help, and is also set to inherit a LOT of money and property. This is something that Aunt B has honed in on and has been telling Aunt A to leave her something in her will, then goes on making 'jokes' to my cousin about how they'll split it and go on all these vacations together and stuff. Aunt A initially thought she was overreacting by thinking that something scummy was going on there; her son died unexpectedly a couple years ago and he was the one designated to help his sister and manage the trust, so she thought she was just being sensitive due to grief over her son and concern for her daughter. But when Aunt B started repeatedly offering to be the new trustee, Aunt A went straight to her attorney to make sure that Aunt B couldn't interfere or anything because she didn't want her daughter dealing with any kind of "Pam Hupp b******t."
Not going to lie, I couldn't help chuckling a little when I got that message, but she's not wrong. The amount of true crime cases that involve life insurance or inheritance is insane.
#37
I matched with a guy on tinder a long time ago and I live right back college or did back then. He was very insistent on meeting at a bar and then going back to his place which didn't rub me the wrong way at first but he really wanted to go to his place first but I convinced him but the fact that I had to convince him give me these this bad feeling inside and I was like maybe I shouldn'.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 hour ago
Why the hell is she meeting him at all if he’s giving her bad feelings? That’s when you just bow out.
#38
OMG, I literally just watched a show about Chandler Halderson two days ago, I had never heard of him before that! F*****g grisly. And you're spot on.
I don't have a great example from my own life, except being married to a mentally ill man where I still feel like I was lucky to get out alive -- he wasn't violent but he had had at least two psychotic breaks and he was using d***s and sleepwalking. I used to sleep with my wallet and keys in my pockets in case I had to make a run for it in the middle of the night.
#39
You blurted out something ridiculous, causing a rift in your family. Your son has moved on to a different field and doing well. But you’re still comparing him to a m******r who dismembered his parents.
What do you think ?
FranSinclair 3 hours ago
I avoided nearly being kidnapped at age 11/12 thanks to true crime. Broad daylight walking downtown near a gas station when a man asked if I knew one of my friends (very common name) so i went over and before I even made it to the window, I knew something was wrong. I had a bad feeling. He grabbed my wrist and told me something like that friend needed my help and I cant tell anyone. My mom was always watching and reading true crime. I knew that wasn't true. Grownups dont ask kids for help. I was afraid if I yelled hed yank or shoot, I knew getting in meant d**d. I told him that I agreed and that she'd probably need me to stay the night w her? That my mom was a nut so I needed to run home and grab clothes and tell her I was staying at a different friends. My house was next to the police station. They had me call him on a number he'd given me to come pick me up under the bridge. I was surprised when i actually had to go to the bridge for the sting surrounded by hidden police.
FranSinclair 3 hours ago
I avoided nearly being kidnapped at age 11/12 thanks to true crime. Broad daylight walking downtown near a gas station when a man asked if I knew one of my friends (very common name) so i went over and before I even made it to the window, I knew something was wrong. I had a bad feeling. He grabbed my wrist and told me something like that friend needed my help and I cant tell anyone. My mom was always watching and reading true crime. I knew that wasn't true. Grownups dont ask kids for help. I was afraid if I yelled hed yank or shoot, I knew getting in meant d**d. I told him that I agreed and that she'd probably need me to stay the night w her? That my mom was a nut so I needed to run home and grab clothes and tell her I was staying at a different friends. My house was next to the police station. They had me call him on a number he'd given me to come pick me up under the bridge. I was surprised when i actually had to go to the bridge for the sting surrounded by hidden police.
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