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30YO Acts Like A Kid When It Comes To Food, Won’t Eat Anything “Complicated”, Chef GF Dumps Him
Interview With ExpertWhen you truly love something, it becomes a huge part of who you are, and of course, it doesn’t fit right with you if someone comes and insults this thing. Now imagine dating someone who has zero respect for something that you love. It would be a total disaster, don’t you think?
And so, we come to today’s story where Reddit user AffectionateShare508, a sous chef, dumped her date due to his extremely picky eating habits and the way he insulted her friends’ cooking. But according to him, it was a big mistake on her part.
More info: Reddit
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The poster of this story is a sous chef and food is part of her culture, so it’s very important to her and also essential to make connections
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
She met a 30-year-old guy on a dating app and since he was nice and sounded fine, they decided to go on a date
Image credits: u/AffectionateShare508
Image credits: Klaus Nielsen (not the actual photo)
But right from the first date, she noticed that he ate basic, bland food and never liked to try anything new, but he disrespected her if she tried different food items
Image credits: u/AffectionateShare508
Image credits: Tom Hermans (not the actual photo)
One day she took him to a potluck with different food prepared by her friends and colleagues, he made comments on everything, didn’t eat much, and left to eat fries outside
Image credits: u/AffectionateShare508
After this, she ended things with him but told him the real reason later about his picky eating habits, he was livid and called her shallow
Today’s original poster (OP) was a sous chef who comes from a culture where food plays a crucial role. And she also mentioned that trying new dishes is how she connects with others. Well, unfortunately for her, she met a guy on a dating app who seemed nice, but she had no clue about his food preferences.
On their first date at an Italian restaurant, he asked the waiter about all the dishes but ended up picking simple bland pasta and butter. Well, it’s not our place to judge someone, but this would’ve been like a dagger in the heart for the chef. And it was not the only time this happened; he repeated the same thing whenever they went out.
She realized that he, in general, didn’t like to try anything new and was extremely picky about everything. However, he started disrespecting OP by making snide comments about food items that she would order. I mean, it’s okay to like basic food, but to judge others for their love for flavors just seems mean.
But one day, when she took him to a big potluck event where her friends and colleagues had cooked different types of food, he behaved quite obnoxiously there. He made comments about the food, kept picking what he took on his plate, and finally, left abruptly to eat fries outside. OP was embarrassed and had to make excuses for him.
And that was probably the last straw for her. She ended things but didn’t tell him why. But the fellow kept persisting, so she had to tell him. And boy did he flip out after she told him it was because of his picky eating habits! He claimed she was making a big mistake and called her shallow for breaking up over a trivial reason like this.
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
Redditors frowned upon this man and the way he disrespected the poster. They also found it troubling that he wouldn’t let go of things when she ended it, but kept pushing her for the real reason. OP replied that his last text to her was that he would give her a ticket to Disneyland if she gave him a chance. Um, that definitely sounds wrong!
People were also taken aback by his attitude towards food. They felt that he was wrong to comment on what she was eating when she never did that to him. They also commented that the couple was not compatible and that it was a good decision to end things as his reaction to her trying different food was unacceptable.
Bored Panda reached out to Madhura Ghan, a food connoisseur who posts occasional food reviews on her Instagram page, Craytoday. She mentioned that food played an integral role in her life and the relationships that she has built over the past years were mostly built around food likeness and aversions.
When we asked her how she’d react if a partner or someone close to her had very specific or picky eating habits, she said, “I believe that when there are people who enjoy food together, being picky is not a problem as long as they are alright with trying new food and then not liking it.”
“But if I ever encounter a picky eater who doesn’t even try it, I just let them be because I know that it’s not a person I would like to be in contact with in the future,” she made a face and added.
Netizens also advised the poster to find someone who wouldn’t disrespect her love for food or someone who could at least be open to trying new foods rather than judging her for it. Madhura also stressed that if food plays a major component in a person’s life, it is very important for them to find a person who can vibe with them on that same level.
She felt that if they didn’t, it would just become another topic of constant argument about where to eat out. And frankly, we agree with her. OP can surely find someone who appreciates her love for food, don’t you think so? Foodies out there, this story is specially for you, feel free to jot down your encounters with people who looked down on your love for food, we’d love to hear!
People frowned upon the picky eater and said he had no right to disrespect her food choices
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What do you think ?
Tabitha Osika 1 year ago
You don't need the other party to accept or even understand your reasons for ending a relationship. Full stop.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago
Exactly that is why i never understood why people cant be direct and honest. Why hide behind reasons like "i dont want a relationship right now"? i dont get it. Truth saves alot of time and headache plus it shows you faster if the other is an a*****e or not. Like this guy was based on his reaction.
Load More Replies...
Insomniac 1 year ago
He seems to go out of his way to put other people out because of his food choices. Why interrogate about every item on the menu? If you know you're just going to eat plain noodles, freaking order it and be done with it. If you know the potluck won't be to your taste, eat first or don't go. He deliberately sought to embarrass her. I've dated those types. Just run. Run far and fast.
tori Ohno 1 year ago
Maybe he does it to passive aggressively embarrass her for not choosing a diner or fast food joint. The fact that he harassed her when dumped him is proof of his immaturity.
Load More Replies...
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I'm a very picky eater, but I'm more than happy to support you in your food choices. I may never be willing to try a bite, but someday I may be.
Sand Ers 1 year ago
Her own headline misstates the reason. It wasn’t because he was a picky eater, it was because he behaved like a douchebag about it. For example, it doesn’t need a lengthy interrogation of the server at a diner to settle on a plain cheeseburger. It requires ten seconds, after one question about the cheese.
Load More Replies...
Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 1 year ago
He can't even handle himself with grace and basic manners. And how he's handling her telling him it's a no go is a further indication of his childishness. Homegirl dodged a bullet
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
OP should've told him: "I broke up with you cuz you have the palate of a toddler" and then just hung up + blocked him. She doesn't need to keep interacting with someone who doesn't understand the word "no."
Joanne Wright 1 year ago
NTA. You did the right thing. He can't improve himself for next time if he doesn't know the real reason you broke up with him.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
You don’t have to justify yourself to him to end the relationship. You can end it because you don’t like the color of his socks. But you should have told him that his eating habits were the reason so he can decide if he wants to make changes in the future.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
The fact that he calls food 'trivial' and OP views food as literally any but should tell that dolt that, no, this relationship would not be a good one. Also, even if food wasn't the sticking point the way he criticizes and disrespects others' food is bad enough. There's nothing wrong with him being picky. Just like there's nothing wrong with not dating someone that picky,
Insomniac 1 year ago
He's a hypocrite. Food is not trivial to him, because he wastes an enormous amount of other people's time to get them to accommodate his palate. Who needs to go through every item on the menu? Just tell them you want plain noodles! It's his means of manipulating people, of making himself feel important. It's also his means of humiliating his partners in order to socially isolate them. He's mad she didn't fall for it.
Load More Replies...
Alexa 1 year ago
I dumped a vegan for the same reason. This was many years ago, so there weren't fake meat options on the market even (or certainly not commonplace). But frankly, food is way too important to me too, and I could not feed this guy. And I didn't want to feed him! Must note the weird bit - this guy was a beef farmer. You should have seen his gorgeous cows, but he didn't eat his own farm's product. Nice guy, really - but nope.
Sarah Léon 1 year ago
20 years ago we went to the USA with my mother to see some friends in Minnesota. We talked a lot about French culture(we're French) and our food of course. Our friends couldn't understand how we could eat unpastorised cheeses. One day, at a mall, we found some Chavri. In France, we called it Chavrou and it was not considered a real cheese like Camember or Roquefort, more a sweet cheese for childen to learn to like goat cheese. It was sold in the US so we decided to take one to let our friends try. 2 of them liked it, but the third one put just a little bit of cheese on a huge slice of bread, and as soon as the slice (without cheese on it) touched her tongue, she spit and brush her tongue like it was poison or something. It was very pastorised cheese but she couldn't try it because it was written "from France" and so it was not American... fortunately she accepted to eat at the local chinese restaurant so we could change a little...
tori Ohno 1 year ago
He has the palate of a 4 year old, and zero respect for women. He essentially harassed, stalked, and then tried to buy her after she dumped him. Did he really think Disney tickets would make her want to date him? How immature is this turd?
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
And how many grown women would consider Disney a valid bribe for an ADULT?
Load More Replies...
Crescent 3 1 year ago
Have people forgotten the basic purpose of dating? You date to find out if you're compatible with the other person or not. If there are things that are important to you on which you are not compatible, then you should end the relationship. OP is a chef. Cooking and sharing meals is obviously important to her. She shouldn't be with someone who can't appreciate that. Just as he shouldn't be with someone for whom this kind of cooking is so important. He eats like a 7 year-old child. That's who he is, and if he's happy that way - fine, but he needs to find someone for whom that's not a deal-breaker and can accept that part of his character make-up. OP is definitely NTA. But let's all remember that dating is like a job interview, you're learning about each other to see if it's a good match. This isn't. Both should just move on.
Bryn 1 year ago
"stop diagnosing someone you've never seen" We don't have to have. People who are familiar with the diagnosis know the signs of it. Because restricted eating, for whatever reason, is a sign of autism. It's not a medical condition, like you said, but many autistic people have void avoidance.
Sarah Ellison 1 year ago
I could never date someone that is THAT unwilling to try new foods. My husband has food he doesn't like, but he at least knows that because he TRIED IT.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
Trivial? Imagine telling an accountant that budgets are trivial and unimportant or a personal trainer that exercise is trivial and doesn't even matter, I'll wait...
Javier Sanchez 1 year ago
NTA but should have been direct from the get go. Food is culture. And if you are a person who enjoys eating for pleasure rather than just biological necessity, it's not a good match. You can be both picky and adventurous. Some people just have quality standards. He eats like a toddler.
Spittnimage 1 year ago
He doesn't trust food with too many ingredients. Stick to your macaroni without the cheese then. Who cares?
Kim Shannon 1 year ago
You broke up because something that means a lot to you means nothing to him. That will never change, so you're smart to move on.
Damned_Cat 1 year ago
His reasons for being picky don't really matter here. The point is that food is very important to OP, both culturally and professionally. It will always be a point of contention between the two and it will be very difficult for them to have a happy relationship. It's like a doctor dating a Christian Scientist. You just can't reconcile something like that.
Elephant Girl 1 year ago
I am a picky eater due to health reasons. I try to turn down friends who offer to cook for me, but am willing to eat out somewhere that I know I can eat a couple of items. I will NOT make others eat what I have to eat. (Basically no spices or sauces, even pepper can give me a fever)
Rebel Peewee 1 year ago
Not only is every single meal exhausting but i'm sure he's constipated 90% of the time. So not fun in every way!
Arya 1 year ago (edited)
Nothing wrong with her ending things simply because he wasn’t what she wanted in a partner. And being a picky eater isn’t an issue either, as long as you’re polite about it and take responsibility for it. But the rude comments and the fact that he became insufferable when she tried to end things fully pushes him into AH territory. Also, it’s a *potluck*, surely he could have asked to bring a dish that he knew he could eat? Why would you even invite yourself to a food centered event when you know you aren’t going to be able to eat the food?
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
His last comments were the icing on the cake of why not to date thus guy. She tried to let him down politely, he should have taken that and accepted it. Red flags started as soon as he starting to push her for reasons then her telling him he spits the dummy. A lucky escape for her
Papa 1 year ago
My father was also reluctant to try new foods, until one day I stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch, in an area of a major city where the street signs were printed in English and Chinese. "Okay Dad, I know you don't like to try new foods, but if you're going to eat lunch today it's going to be Chinese." He liked it, and had Chinese food frequently after that.
Trillian 1 year ago
As the mother of a very picky eater (fervently hoping she'll grow out of it) I would totally dump someone over this. It is so childish and annoying to be like this. It's okay to have some food you don't like but if you start looking for "green things" to pick out of your food we can't be friends.
R Dennis 1 year ago
I don't know how she could know if they have ARFID or not - they aren't an expert (and neither am I), but it sounds like an aversion to me... knowing that, why would you take them to a buffet of food you know they won't eat? Seems like she wanted to ignore his issues and he felt disrespected by her behavior. I don't think either of the are complete AHs, but they obviously weren't compatible by date two.
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
She mentioned in her replies to comments that she asked him questions regarding the topic and got solid confirmation that it wasn't based on any condition. That would be how she knows.
Load More Replies... Tabitha Osika 1 year ago
You don't need the other party to accept or even understand your reasons for ending a relationship. Full stop.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago
Exactly that is why i never understood why people cant be direct and honest. Why hide behind reasons like "i dont want a relationship right now"? i dont get it. Truth saves alot of time and headache plus it shows you faster if the other is an a*****e or not. Like this guy was based on his reaction.
Load More Replies... Insomniac 1 year ago
He seems to go out of his way to put other people out because of his food choices. Why interrogate about every item on the menu? If you know you're just going to eat plain noodles, freaking order it and be done with it. If you know the potluck won't be to your taste, eat first or don't go. He deliberately sought to embarrass her. I've dated those types. Just run. Run far and fast.
tori Ohno 1 year ago
Maybe he does it to passive aggressively embarrass her for not choosing a diner or fast food joint. The fact that he harassed her when dumped him is proof of his immaturity.
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I'm a very picky eater, but I'm more than happy to support you in your food choices. I may never be willing to try a bite, but someday I may be.
Sand Ers 1 year ago
Her own headline misstates the reason. It wasn’t because he was a picky eater, it was because he behaved like a douchebag about it. For example, it doesn’t need a lengthy interrogation of the server at a diner to settle on a plain cheeseburger. It requires ten seconds, after one question about the cheese.
Load More Replies... Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 1 year ago
He can't even handle himself with grace and basic manners. And how he's handling her telling him it's a no go is a further indication of his childishness. Homegirl dodged a bullet
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
OP should've told him: "I broke up with you cuz you have the palate of a toddler" and then just hung up + blocked him. She doesn't need to keep interacting with someone who doesn't understand the word "no."
Joanne Wright 1 year ago
NTA. You did the right thing. He can't improve himself for next time if he doesn't know the real reason you broke up with him.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
You don’t have to justify yourself to him to end the relationship. You can end it because you don’t like the color of his socks. But you should have told him that his eating habits were the reason so he can decide if he wants to make changes in the future.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
The fact that he calls food 'trivial' and OP views food as literally any but should tell that dolt that, no, this relationship would not be a good one. Also, even if food wasn't the sticking point the way he criticizes and disrespects others' food is bad enough. There's nothing wrong with him being picky. Just like there's nothing wrong with not dating someone that picky,
Insomniac 1 year ago
He's a hypocrite. Food is not trivial to him, because he wastes an enormous amount of other people's time to get them to accommodate his palate. Who needs to go through every item on the menu? Just tell them you want plain noodles! It's his means of manipulating people, of making himself feel important. It's also his means of humiliating his partners in order to socially isolate them. He's mad she didn't fall for it.
Load More Replies... Alexa 1 year ago
I dumped a vegan for the same reason. This was many years ago, so there weren't fake meat options on the market even (or certainly not commonplace). But frankly, food is way too important to me too, and I could not feed this guy. And I didn't want to feed him! Must note the weird bit - this guy was a beef farmer. You should have seen his gorgeous cows, but he didn't eat his own farm's product. Nice guy, really - but nope.
Sarah Léon 1 year ago
20 years ago we went to the USA with my mother to see some friends in Minnesota. We talked a lot about French culture(we're French) and our food of course. Our friends couldn't understand how we could eat unpastorised cheeses. One day, at a mall, we found some Chavri. In France, we called it Chavrou and it was not considered a real cheese like Camember or Roquefort, more a sweet cheese for childen to learn to like goat cheese. It was sold in the US so we decided to take one to let our friends try. 2 of them liked it, but the third one put just a little bit of cheese on a huge slice of bread, and as soon as the slice (without cheese on it) touched her tongue, she spit and brush her tongue like it was poison or something. It was very pastorised cheese but she couldn't try it because it was written "from France" and so it was not American... fortunately she accepted to eat at the local chinese restaurant so we could change a little...
tori Ohno 1 year ago
He has the palate of a 4 year old, and zero respect for women. He essentially harassed, stalked, and then tried to buy her after she dumped him. Did he really think Disney tickets would make her want to date him? How immature is this turd?
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
And how many grown women would consider Disney a valid bribe for an ADULT?
Load More Replies... Crescent 3 1 year ago
Have people forgotten the basic purpose of dating? You date to find out if you're compatible with the other person or not. If there are things that are important to you on which you are not compatible, then you should end the relationship. OP is a chef. Cooking and sharing meals is obviously important to her. She shouldn't be with someone who can't appreciate that. Just as he shouldn't be with someone for whom this kind of cooking is so important. He eats like a 7 year-old child. That's who he is, and if he's happy that way - fine, but he needs to find someone for whom that's not a deal-breaker and can accept that part of his character make-up. OP is definitely NTA. But let's all remember that dating is like a job interview, you're learning about each other to see if it's a good match. This isn't. Both should just move on.
Bryn 1 year ago
"stop diagnosing someone you've never seen" We don't have to have. People who are familiar with the diagnosis know the signs of it. Because restricted eating, for whatever reason, is a sign of autism. It's not a medical condition, like you said, but many autistic people have void avoidance.
Sarah Ellison 1 year ago
I could never date someone that is THAT unwilling to try new foods. My husband has food he doesn't like, but he at least knows that because he TRIED IT.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
Trivial? Imagine telling an accountant that budgets are trivial and unimportant or a personal trainer that exercise is trivial and doesn't even matter, I'll wait...
Javier Sanchez 1 year ago
NTA but should have been direct from the get go. Food is culture. And if you are a person who enjoys eating for pleasure rather than just biological necessity, it's not a good match. You can be both picky and adventurous. Some people just have quality standards. He eats like a toddler.
Spittnimage 1 year ago
He doesn't trust food with too many ingredients. Stick to your macaroni without the cheese then. Who cares?
Kim Shannon 1 year ago
You broke up because something that means a lot to you means nothing to him. That will never change, so you're smart to move on.
Damned_Cat 1 year ago
His reasons for being picky don't really matter here. The point is that food is very important to OP, both culturally and professionally. It will always be a point of contention between the two and it will be very difficult for them to have a happy relationship. It's like a doctor dating a Christian Scientist. You just can't reconcile something like that.
Elephant Girl 1 year ago
I am a picky eater due to health reasons. I try to turn down friends who offer to cook for me, but am willing to eat out somewhere that I know I can eat a couple of items. I will NOT make others eat what I have to eat. (Basically no spices or sauces, even pepper can give me a fever)
Rebel Peewee 1 year ago
Not only is every single meal exhausting but i'm sure he's constipated 90% of the time. So not fun in every way!
Arya 1 year ago (edited)
Nothing wrong with her ending things simply because he wasn’t what she wanted in a partner. And being a picky eater isn’t an issue either, as long as you’re polite about it and take responsibility for it. But the rude comments and the fact that he became insufferable when she tried to end things fully pushes him into AH territory. Also, it’s a *potluck*, surely he could have asked to bring a dish that he knew he could eat? Why would you even invite yourself to a food centered event when you know you aren’t going to be able to eat the food?
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
His last comments were the icing on the cake of why not to date thus guy. She tried to let him down politely, he should have taken that and accepted it. Red flags started as soon as he starting to push her for reasons then her telling him he spits the dummy. A lucky escape for her
Papa 1 year ago
My father was also reluctant to try new foods, until one day I stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch, in an area of a major city where the street signs were printed in English and Chinese. "Okay Dad, I know you don't like to try new foods, but if you're going to eat lunch today it's going to be Chinese." He liked it, and had Chinese food frequently after that.
Trillian 1 year ago
As the mother of a very picky eater (fervently hoping she'll grow out of it) I would totally dump someone over this. It is so childish and annoying to be like this. It's okay to have some food you don't like but if you start looking for "green things" to pick out of your food we can't be friends.
R Dennis 1 year ago
I don't know how she could know if they have ARFID or not - they aren't an expert (and neither am I), but it sounds like an aversion to me... knowing that, why would you take them to a buffet of food you know they won't eat? Seems like she wanted to ignore his issues and he felt disrespected by her behavior. I don't think either of the are complete AHs, but they obviously weren't compatible by date two.
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
She mentioned in her replies to comments that she asked him questions regarding the topic and got solid confirmation that it wasn't based on any condition. That would be how she knows.
Load More Replies...
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