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Man Finds Out The Reason GF Of 5 Years Never Wanted To Live With Him Even After Getting Pregnant
Man looking stressed and worried while on a phone call, possibly about pregnant girlfriend refusing to move together.

“Angry And Frustrated”: Pregnant Woman Refuses To Move In With Boyfriend, Finally Admits She Was Cheating

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It’s completely natural to want to live with your significant other. After you’ve been dating for a while, it only makes sense to move in. And when there’s a baby on the way in your long-term relationship, it would be bizarre not to live in the same home. If your partner keeps refusing, it might set off your inner alarm bells.

That’s the frustrating situation that one man found himself in. He turned to the internet for advice after insisting that his girlfriend move in with him now that she’s pregnant. When she refused, he decided to get to the bottom of the mystery. Scroll down for the full story, including a very painful twist in an update.

Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

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    It’s going to raise some eyebrows and ring some alarm bells when people see that your long-term partner refuses to move in with you

    Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

    A man turned to the internet for help after sharing how his girlfriend refused to live with him, even after she got pregnant. Here’s how his story started

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    Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

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    Image source: throwaway-zebra123

    Most readers were on the man’s side. Here’s their perspective on the bizarre situation

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    Image credits: EkaterinaPereslavtseva (not the actual photo)

    You and your partner need to be on the same page about what you want from the relationship. If they want an open relationship but don’t inform you, they’re effectively cheating

    Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)

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    It’s common sense, but if you want to have an open relationship with your partner, you need to loop them in. You both need to be on the same page. Your significant other needs to be comfortable with you seeing other people. And you both need to create some ground rules.

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    Meanwhile, if the fact that you’re going on dates with other people is news to them, then you’re not actually in an open relationship. You’re cheating, as simple as that. While you’re having fun being with multiple partners, they’re at home thinking that you’re exclusive. It’s heart-wrenching. It’s unfair. And nobody deserves to be in a situation like this.

    When there’s a baby on the way, things get even messier. And if your cheating partner tries to guilt-trip you for not supporting them enough in their lifestyle, it’s probably clear as crystal that you need to move on with your life.

    According to ‘The Intimacy Doc,’ consensual non-monogamous (aka open) relationships aren’t like affairs because the former are transparent while the latter are secret.

    Clinical psychologist Dr. Catalina Lawsin explains that for open relationships to work, you and your partner need to negotiate your intimacy boundaries. The goal is to get incredibly specific about what can and can’t happen before you open up the relationship.

    Physicality aside, you’ll also need to define your emotional boundaries, ensure that you’re safe when you’re intimate, and be honest about everything that you do. In these kinds of relationships, it’s vital that you’re transparent so that you and your partner are both on the same page and avoid making assumptions.

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    Meanwhile, Dr. Lawsin stresses that it’s important that you don’t forget about your actual relationship either. “Schedule time and space to nurture the relationship and make sure to maintain this. Date nights, trips away and expressing love need to be prioritized to maintain the relationship foundation,” she states.

    There are lots of different reasons why someone might be unfaithful to their significant other. However, this doesn’t excuse infidelity

    Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)

    While everyone’s situation is unique, there are a number of common reasons why people cheat on their long-term romantic partners. Broadly speaking, the individual who gets entangled in the affair may have some unmet needs or they simply have the opportunity for infidelity.

    Verywell Mind explains that some of the main factors behind cheating include things like:

    • Unhappiness or dissatisfaction with your emotional or intimate life
    • Feeling unappreciated at home
    • Lacking commitment to your partner
    • Having issues with your body or age
    • Wanting to get revenge on your partner
    • Boredom and the need for excitement

    In the meantime, some secondary reasons for cheating include things like having easy access to the internet (this facilitates emotional or physical affairs), the opportunity to be unfaithful, and having poor boundaries.

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    “Periods of absence, whether traveling for work or serving in the military provide greater opportunities for affairs to occur. Absence allows a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being discovered or may lead to loneliness and resentment,” Verywell Mind explains.

    What are your thoughts about the entire situation? How would you have handled things if you were in the man’s shoes?

    How would you react if your significant other refused to live with you, even though you’d been together for years and years? From your perspective, how soon should couples move in together, and how can they tell if they’re ready? Let us know in the comments below.

    The man decided to get to the bottom of the mystery behind his girlfriend’s actions, and it led to a lot of heartbreak. Here is the update to his story

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    Image credits: GaudiLab (not the actual photo)

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    Image source: throwaway-zebra123

    Here’s how the internet reacted to the update. Most people were very empathetic

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    What do you think ?
    Tams21
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The op seems pretty reasonable to me. A vasectomy isn't 100% and if there's any doubt about a lifetime commitment like parenthood, it's absolutely fair to be certain. Getting a lawyer might make any future arrangements (assuming he is the father) more difficult but given the circumstances, it's definitely worth it in my view.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My aunt got pregnant with my cousin after my uncle had a vasectomy. The vas deferens can reattach to each other.

    Load More Replies...
    Erla Zwingle
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is the most spectacularly egotistical person I've ever heard of. I can't even draw a diagram of how many people she's pulled into her web. First red flag: Suddenly she's pregnant, just like that, without discussing any of this drastic change with you. She's happy about it? Are you? Did you even talk about this when you got the news? Or is she treating this baby like it's just another object to organize in her life, like a birdfeeder or a motorcycle. Cheating on her free time because no questions?! No questions? Second red flag! Determine paternity, then figure out what YOU need. You've been enabling an incredibly toxic person for FIVE YEARS. You need to step waaaaay back from a dynamic where you give everything and the other person gives nothing. Think about that. PS: I sincerely hope the child isn't yours, my friend. You need to hit "reset" in your life in a big, big way.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The most spectacularly egotistical person" and "a bird feeder or a motorcycle". I would up vote twice if I could!

    Load More Replies...
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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch. I was there nodding along to the "needing alone time" and only being in a relationship part time - I'm Ace/aro and an introvert, it sounds completely understandable to need completely separate time alone with zero humans. Then she's completely off the wall "No, I meant, I'm single and seeing someone *else* those days. Nope. This is "I want to have my relationship, and sleep around, but without communicating and coming to an agreement that we are poly." Sorry, man, this was unacceptable deception on her part. Definately demand paternity testing, and get some advice on what you need to do to make sure she can't put you on the birth certificate without it. Separate residence/walking marriage relationships can work, but only when both parties are in agreement as to the terms.

    Child of the Stars
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with you. I'm not aro/ace, but I honestly was thinking this would be a fantastic arrangement to co-parent! It's really too bad there was more to her behavior 😕

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Tams21
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The op seems pretty reasonable to me. A vasectomy isn't 100% and if there's any doubt about a lifetime commitment like parenthood, it's absolutely fair to be certain. Getting a lawyer might make any future arrangements (assuming he is the father) more difficult but given the circumstances, it's definitely worth it in my view.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My aunt got pregnant with my cousin after my uncle had a vasectomy. The vas deferens can reattach to each other.

    Load More Replies...
    Erla Zwingle
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is the most spectacularly egotistical person I've ever heard of. I can't even draw a diagram of how many people she's pulled into her web. First red flag: Suddenly she's pregnant, just like that, without discussing any of this drastic change with you. She's happy about it? Are you? Did you even talk about this when you got the news? Or is she treating this baby like it's just another object to organize in her life, like a birdfeeder or a motorcycle. Cheating on her free time because no questions?! No questions? Second red flag! Determine paternity, then figure out what YOU need. You've been enabling an incredibly toxic person for FIVE YEARS. You need to step waaaaay back from a dynamic where you give everything and the other person gives nothing. Think about that. PS: I sincerely hope the child isn't yours, my friend. You need to hit "reset" in your life in a big, big way.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The most spectacularly egotistical person" and "a bird feeder or a motorcycle". I would up vote twice if I could!

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch. I was there nodding along to the "needing alone time" and only being in a relationship part time - I'm Ace/aro and an introvert, it sounds completely understandable to need completely separate time alone with zero humans. Then she's completely off the wall "No, I meant, I'm single and seeing someone *else* those days. Nope. This is "I want to have my relationship, and sleep around, but without communicating and coming to an agreement that we are poly." Sorry, man, this was unacceptable deception on her part. Definately demand paternity testing, and get some advice on what you need to do to make sure she can't put you on the birth certificate without it. Separate residence/walking marriage relationships can work, but only when both parties are in agreement as to the terms.

    Child of the Stars
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with you. I'm not aro/ace, but I honestly was thinking this would be a fantastic arrangement to co-parent! It's really too bad there was more to her behavior 😕

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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