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As kids, many of us rushed to come of age and enjoy the freedom we saw grown-ups having. We were envious of how they could stay up late, eat whatever they wanted, and go anywhere without asking permission.
But upon getting there, the realities of adulthood became a sobering splash of cold water in the face. Many people weren’t (and likely still aren’t) ready for “adulting,” and they opened up in this recent Reddit thread.
Some comments spoke about the need to sell yourself, while others discussed the disheartening experience of losing a job. If you have these similar sentiments, share them in the comment boxes below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Watching a country I grew up thinking was stable, powerful, and plentiful be taken over by the billionaire class and milked dry at the hands of oligarchs who claim that the problem is poor people, immigrants, and queer people.
Corvus 9 months ago
Hey, but at least you can be racist on Twitter without consequences. Aren't you happy???
realenancy170 9 months ago
I had a history and a social studies teacher who both emphasized what horrors a corrupt authoritarian government could visit on their people. This was in the 70's. I can't believe that still isn't being taught today!
RELATED:
#2
How stupid most people actually are.
Bartlet for world domination 9 months ago (edited)
Running into the real world after my very sheltered grammar school upbringing I learned that 'stupid' people are just people and the effort to relate to everyone was on me.
#3
Dust. There is dust everywhere. There is so much dust, and it accumulates so fast!
LuckyL 9 months ago
and not to mention - my own hair. and dishes and laundry!!! it never stops
Load More Replies...
#4
How much of your time revolves around eating and/or making food; cooking, washing dishes, cleaning sinks, even just selecting what to eat - so much damn time.
Amelia Jade 9 months ago
I designed an entire system around meal planning, grocery shopping, finding deals, and cooking meals. The system actually helped me reduce the amount of time I was spending, and the amount of money I was spending, but yes, it is still all so time consuming.
DrBronxx 9 months ago (edited)
Then there's just the thinking of what to have for your meals. My wife likes variety in her meals, and comes from a culture where they have so many different dishes. I grew up in a house of essentially the same meals every day, especially weekdays, with mostly only slight variations. As a result, I'm perfectly happy having the same thing every day - cooking one big batch and munching on it for a few days. My wife, on the other hand, wants different things everyday, and she genuinely stresses out trying to think of different things for our varied diet. When I realised how stressed she was, I got in on it as well - it was a completely unexpected burden when we moved in together (for us both; she lived with her parents until then, and had never really thought about meal planning).
realenancy170 9 months ago
Yes! I am retired now but it still feels like a full time job. I must have dined out more when I was working.
#5
How much you have to sell yourself. In my younger years, it was enough to just do the work well because the teacher has to grade your work. As an adult, your boss and interviewers may not even look at it, let alone understand what you did.
Rick Murray 9 months ago
I suck at selling myself, so I just don't bother. Let other people deal with the stress and back stabbing, I'll just click out at the end of the day and go home and read a book.
#6
Regret. Knowing how much better and easier my life could be had a made a few different decisions is [eating me alive].
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
Would it have been easier and better though? We won't ever really know. Regret and asking "what if?" about my past just sends me spiraling into depression. I've learned to value and respect my past because it's those choices that made the good things happen for me today as much as the challenges.
April Pickett 9 months ago
Well, you have to start sometime and somewhere. So, go ahead and take that first small step, even though it scares you. It's a step, not a jog so don't get ahead of yourself. It's like Nike, just do it.
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
Life doesn’t come with a crystal ball. Sometimes you just gotta do what you think is right and live with the consequences. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, doesn’t change anything
Wintermute 9 months ago
So here's my little two cents. When I look back at missed opportunities I find one thing that's happened since then that I wouldn't trade the world for, and remind myself that if I hadn't made the wrong decision first, then the good thing wouldn't have happened. Yes, I married a cheater and it ended in disaster, but I got my daughter out of it, and I'd make every bad decision up until then a million times over again before changing a thing that would threaten that... Since then... eh, not much I wouldn't change for something better, but fortunately I've gotten a lot better at making decisions, so I can't complain.
iseefractals 9 months ago
You don't know what you don't know. Yes you could have made that different choice, and maybe it would have worked out and your life would have been immensely better. Or maybe you would have f****d it up and ended up worse. Maybe it would have led you to some terrible relationship that destroyed everything else in your life. Maybe you would have turned to drink or d***s, and maybe you would have been hit by a buy. You can't change it, you're manufacturing a fantasy, with the intention of making your actual, present day life, your mental and emotional wellbeing....worse than it needs to be. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Dar Mal 9 months ago
easier said than done...especially lying in bed trying to sleep when they all pile up and sit on your brain....
Load More Replies... #7
Just how boring most things are. The days blur together and the next thing you know, your body hurts everywhere all the time and you can't remember yesterday. But you remember 40 years ago like it was yesterday.
Susie Elle 9 months ago (edited)
EDIT: woops, nevermind, misunderstood the title of this thread lmao
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
Boring is good. Boring means that all hell has not broken loose. I don’t like when all hell breaks loose
iseefractals 9 months ago
Eh...it's not that it's boring, it's just that time moves so much faster once you hit about 30. When you're a kid, dragging your a*s to school at 6:30am....watching that clock tick down those 7 hours, took forever. Counting down the days to christmas, your birthday, summer vacation....was an eternity away. By the time you're 30, an entire day goes by in a blink, christmas and birthdays happen to damn often, and before you know it you're 40 years old wondering where the last 10 years of your life went.....all to aware that you likely have more time behind you than in front...you're now at the same age you remember your parents being when you were small....and you're parents have been gone for years or more. You still feel like that kid, it seems like only yesterday....and you know you'll be following in their footsteps much sooner than you think.
#8
Realising your parents are not the person you think they were as you grow older.
CD King 9 months ago
You never think of your parents as actual people. You will never know them like others do.
iseefractals 9 months ago
That may be true when you're a kid, but it's certainly not as you actually become a fully developed and self aware adult. I was 14 when my dad told me about dropping acid for the first time directly following his parents funeral at 18 years old. My uncle bringing a brick of weed back from Vietnam in his foot locker, wrapped in film safe paper. My mom going to Studio 54 and having a prescription for Black Beauties. Another uncles exploits at wood stock. My moms mother having a stillborn child before my mom was born, my grandfathers exploits in WW2, my dads dad being an alcoholic, and my dad and uncle discovering they went to key parties. The depths of my aunts psychotic break and all the truly....just so f*****g dark things she did while losing her grip on reality. If you never get to know the elders in your family, never really know who they are...either they're terrible people, or you are.
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 9 months ago
Being alarmed as you realize that your parents told you to treat everyone fairly, not be racist, and be kind and compassionate and they don't believe any of that ( based on voting and rhetoric they spout now)
Fluffy Cat Sleeps 9 months ago
Yeah, realizing that growing up, I thought that my mom was not abusive and then once I grew up and shared those memories with therapists, friends, and partners and discovered she was and then accepting it and then realizing that she would still do it that way was pretty upsetting. I would like to know her more but she won't let me and I know that's part of her trauma and shame about the much worse way she grew up.
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
Your parents also age. And there’s a very weird disconnect between being looked after and having to do the looking after. If you still have a good relationship with your parents, understand that one day you could be the one needing to look after their affairs. It’s a bizarre roll reversal
#9
Life is not promised. You can do everything “right” and things just don’t turn out how you had hoped.
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
That can actually wind up being a supreme blessing. I wouldn't give up the twists and turns my life has taken; it's so much better than I ever dreamed even though it's nothing like I dreamed.
#10
You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn't.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
When you're retired, you can get up as late as you want. And you should.
DrBronxx 9 months ago
Sometimes. Often, I stay up as late as my toddler will allow. I take her to bed, and then fall asleep trying to get her to go to sleep. Then, I'll wake up in the wee hours, roll into bed, and set the alarm extra early to take care of the housework I didn't have a chance to do last night. It's so much fun...
#11
Being home alone for medical emergencies. I guess it can happen at any age, but it feels like more of an adult living alone kind of problem.
BookFanatic 9 months ago
Yes. A family member had this happen last week, actually. She fell in the bathroom and was lying there for who knows how long. Her neighbors finally heard her yelling and broke the door down to rescue her.
Renee H. 9 months ago
Yep. I have end stage breast cancer and once I was so sick that I was on the brink of death if I had waited any longer to call for help. Thank God my daughters have a key to my house so as to let the paramedics in to take me to the hospital. Its scary living alone with a serious illness.
April Pickett 9 months ago
They have medic alert devices. I need to remember to take mine with me, especially when I'm at home.
#12
How to console your teenager when someone you didn't like in the first place dumps them. It feels like knowing the end of the movie and your teen has only just started watching. The first breakup after your first love sucks, but I bet there's a lot of people out there who are grateful that their very first serious relationship didn't pan out. I know I'm glad that mine didn't last. But you can't just say that to your kid, you have to hold space for them and know when to shut your mouth. It's hard seeing them in pain though.
#13
How absolutely out of reach living a normal life is without working to death.
I don’t get the point of any of this s**t. It’s heart breaking.
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
Learning to tell the boss and coworkers "no" will go a long way.
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
Depends on what your expectation of a normal life is. As long as you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your belly, everything else is secondary. I know there are a lot of people out there that are genuinely struggling to make ends meet. But social media tells us we need to have xyz by a certain age and it’s just not true
#14
Feeling so behind compared to others. I have my associates but It doesn’t really do anything for me and people my age are getting into their careers and I have no clue what I want.
Featherytoad 9 months ago
I'm 54, and never knew what I wanted to do. It doesn't matter now anyway because I developed MS in my 30s and I'm on disability now.
Load More Replies... April Pickett 9 months ago
Just start somewhere. You can always change your mind, job, friends, living space, just start.
#15
How little time you have for yourself. You work for 8 hours, get home, make dinner, clean up the kitchen and then you have like 1-2 hours before you need to go to bed so you can do it all over again. Then the chores pile up so you have to waste a big chunk of the weekend as well.
I don't understand how people can work, have kids, keep their home tidy and go to the gym and get a good nights sleep. Like how?!
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
You learn what battles to fight and what to walk away from. I chose not to fight my kids on clothing choices, for example; I only have 2 rules: pants are required if we have company and when leaving the house, clothing must be weather appropriate. I don't have a vehicle and am walking distance from most of my regular places, so no gym time needed. As for housework, "good enough" is good enough. As long as it's washed, I don't often bother to actually fold and put it away. Meals are mostly single-skillet or single pot meals and I use a mostly ready-to-eat frozen veggies, so that minimizes dishes. I just gave up on trying to keep up with the dusting, and just do it when I have the energy.
François Bouzigues 9 months ago
Going to the gym will make you less tired. I know it sound counter intuitive.
R.C. 9 months ago
Well, it will until you get through the "I think I'm going to die" phase lol. And then it's awesome!
Load More Replies... iseefractals 9 months ago
Are you cooking a 10 course meal and cleaning the kitchen with a toothbrush? Or sleeping for 12-14 hours a night? Exercise give you more energy, even 20 minutes a day pays back dividends for your energy reserves. Sit down and make a meal plan for the week. Pasta/rice with a bit of meat and lots of veggies. Simple, fast and healthy. Keeping things tidy is about fostering good habits. If it takes less than a couple minutes to do something now....do it NOW. Letting it pile up just means you'll spend hours of your weekend chugging through the culmination of avoiding dozens of 1-2 minute tasks throughout the week. Yes, it requires effort and willpower to be efficient and organized....but it's a fraction of the time and effort that being lazy will end up costing you in the long term.
#16
How fast your battery runs out when you get over 40. There is barely enough juice left after work to do anything before going to bed.
DrBronxx 9 months ago
Recently, I've found myself pouring a very small glass of whiskey, sitting down in front of the telly after everything's ready for the next day, switching the TV on and.....promptly falling asleep without a sip.
Hoi-Polloi 9 months ago
One thing I've found is that *momentum* is key. If I get home and collapse into the ol' barcalounger, I will grow roots there and never want to move again. Instead, if I get home and bang out some quickie chores I'll be done in no time and still have energy left.
François Bouzigues 9 months ago
Unpanda opinion. Exercising regularly will make you less tired in the long term.
iseefractals 9 months ago
Meh.....really depends on you. I'm 41, i still only sleep 3 hours a night, at most, same as i've done since i was a teenager. I walk 10 miles a day, bike 100 miles a week, and that while maintaining a work schedule of 12-18 hours a day, 7 days a week. My uncle was the same way up until the end, even after getting diagnosed with pancreatic cancers he was still putting in 20 hour days until about two weeks before he died at 74. The once thing that has changed for me over the past couple of years, is that i cannot fall asleep without a TV show or movie playing. So i have two pairs of headphones....my good pair for gaming and work, and my cheap wireless pair that i put on to fall asleep.
#17
Your parents being way less emotionally mature than you realized.
Or adults in general who you grew up thinking were intelligent, thoughtful, and I formed. It's shocking when they realize just how clueless they actually are.
KnightOwl 9 months ago
Nah, my parents were always clueless, even as kids me and my siblings knew this. I mean; they got married at 18 because they were pregnant (in the 80s!) and went on to have 8 kids in 8yrs. They were clueless back then and I swear they have gotten dumber as theyve aged. (Imagine trying to parent 8 kids so close in age, now imagine trying to parent 8 teens in a 3 bed house with 1 bathroom and you'll get an idea of why their brains are fried!)
DrBronxx 9 months ago
Nah, my 70-something parents are so much more mature than my siblings and I. Two of my brothers still try to hit each other in the nuts every time they see each other. They are 39 and 45 years old. And no-one finds farts as funny as we do. Or IG videos of a guy doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression while singing Whitney Houston and George Michael songs.
Lara Verne 9 months ago
I know that my parents were clueless, but they simply did what was expected from them. It did not make them happy.
Charles McChristy 9 months ago
Nope, my parents bought into the "Satanic Panic" and thought D&D would turn me into a Satanist. Ironically, it was the church that briefly turned me into one.
#18
I should probably put this box in the recycling, but maybe I should save it, it is a really nice box.
realenancy170 9 months ago
I know! It is so sturdy and well made you can't just get rid of it. It would be an insult to whoever designed this wonder of engineering. You need to put it in a closet to sit there until you have a use for it. In a few years you will take it out, admire it and put it away again!
April Pickett 9 months ago
It is hard to throw away good boxes, but you run out of room, so you have to "gird your loins" and recycle them. Remember anything glittery or shiny has to go in the trash.
Hoi-Polloi 9 months ago
You have to resist that siren lure. Before you know it your garage will be awash in boxes. Of course, maybe you'll move someday and will need them ALL...
#19
Being in charge of your own happiness. Down to what you watch, eat, listen too, therapy. You are in charge.
Kit Black 9 months ago
Knowing as a teenager that as an adult, *I* would be in charge of my own happiness, life choices, etc, was what literally kept me alive until I was old enough to move out.
KnightOwl 9 months ago
Same, I was counting the days until I was old enough to escape my family.
Load More Replies... #20
Elderly parent losing their mind due to dementia and needing care but nursing homes are 7k per month, in home nurses are 3k per month. Yeah that’s a f*****g problem that no one could have prepared me for.
- edit to add: I found my answers and my parent is cared for now, but the path leading up to the answers was a terrible and scary path.
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
In Canada, long term care rates are set by the government so it’s equal across the board. Semiprivate rooms go for around $2000 a month. Private rooms go for around $3000 a month. My mother is going into long term care soon
Little Bit 9 months ago
I'm my elderly mum's carer. I have no siblings to help me and my dad passed away several years ago. While she can do many things for herself at the moment her health is failing and I don't know what I'm going to do if she ever needs round the clock care. I can't afford to give up work (nor do I want to), I can't afford to pay for carers and I can't afford to put her in a nursing home. It's a problem that keeps me awake at night.
Yayheterogeneity 9 months ago
I don't know where you live. But spend some time looking into government help plans. Sometimes your local library, family doctor or church can help!
Load More Replies... Fire Singer 9 months ago
I watched my mom go through this with her mom, so my grandma. Caring for an elderly parent is something you want to do and think you can do, until it happens. And depending on the elderly persons condition that can make a huge difference. My mom was exhausted and she had me and my three siblings and my dad to help whenever we could.
#21
Midlife crisis is real. I’m questioning everything now and it feel unsettling all the time.
Toothless Feline 9 months ago
My “midlife crisis” was deciding to embrace my true self and come out as transgender. So for me, a big positive.
Hoi-Polloi 9 months ago
Let me give you a different perspective... I've been too damn busy to have a midlife crisis. Which is too bad, because I understand they issue you a sports car, a lovely girlfriend, and a ponytail. Kinda looking forward to it.
#22
Managing finances. I learned so much insignificant garbage through all of my education that means absolutely nothing after graduation. I think it would be difficult to do an entire semester on it, but there are other topics that can be added to the “welcome to the real world” class.
john doe 9 months ago
I'm sick of seeing posts about how they went taught finances and they don't know how to do it now. First off you were definitely taught math, that's about 95% of financing. Second I don't know about other schools but we had a class called civics and about a month of that class we spent learning how to budget, learning how simple and compound interests effects the monthly rates one would pay. Idk I feel like a lot of y'all just didn't pay attention and that's the actual issue here. I went to plain old public school btw in Minnesota so I guess maybe we do it better.
MotherRobinson 9 months ago
Or every state doesn't teach this in their public schools.
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 9 months ago
I work retail. We’re teaching them calculus and they can’t count change! School curriculums need to include at least some life training
MisterE 9 months ago
About half of the states now require at least one semester of a financial literacy course. Honestly, a full year course is best. Banking, budgeting, credit, taxes, consumer skills, investing, insurance, crypto, gambling, behavioral economics, college or career stuff, getting a job, getting a house, apartment or car, philanthhropy, fillling out different paperwork, etc.
Bartlet for world domination 9 months ago
Not sure what this means. Budgeting and saving are blindingly obvious, right? Is this an American thing about building credit?
François Bouzigues 9 months ago
That is, if your salary - your rent leaves you enough to live, let alone save.
Load More Replies... #23
Keeping a job. There's that 'honeymoon' period once you start the job. But then as the days turn into months... And the months turn to years... You look in the mirror and say, 'Is this it? This is all life has to offer?'.
Vera Diblikova 9 months ago
It so important to choose a job that interests you. Doing boring work is the loss of big portion of your life.
Colleen Glim 9 months ago
For all that minimum wage jobs are looked down on, they don’t usually come with the BS that corporate jobs do
Rick Murray 9 months ago
I just turn up to make money to pay the bills and buy the stuff I enjoy when I'm not at work. For me it's like going to school - annoying and time consuming but necessary.
#24
How boring being a parent can be....like, my kids are my life and I love them, but sometimes I don't want another conversation about Minecraft, or Halloween decorations. .
Sue Denham 9 months ago
All those tedious things your kids talk about - listen to them. Because when they are older and have real important things to talk about you will want them to come to you.
Louisa johnson 9 months ago
My kids never stopped talking and I never stopped listening, now they come to me with anything. And I mean ANYTHING! I’m proud of that though, making a safe space.
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 9 months ago
I loved being able to be a SAHP for my kids, but when my youngest went into kindergarten and I started back to school, I actually felt relief to be learning again. Being a SAHP to a toddler isn't exactly academically stimulating!
#25
Dealing with health insurance corporations.
blixten1982 9 months ago
That's not really an adult problem, that's an American problem. I just pay taxes and I've never had to deal with health insurance corporations or even think about a medical bill. Thank you Tommy Douglas!
Dar Mal 9 months ago (edited)
the percentage you pay in taxes for health care is far less than the amount Americans pay for healthcare (privately), so when they complain about "I don't want increased taxes!" I just shake my head...they have been so brainwashed!
Load More Replies... #26
Idk if anyone could have prepared me for it but I was definitely not prepared to be diagnosed with a chronic illness, even before I turn 30. Ik no specific illness is a typical part of adulthood. As in, we can get sick at any time and there’s no age bar. But I personally thought I still had time before I got sick. And to have a condition (fibromyalgia) that I can’t explain to anyone, because it’s not as straightforward, is a whole different frustrating element that makes me want to shut myself off from the world.
I’m in my ranting mood today, apparently.
KnightOwl 9 months ago
Fellow sufferer and I totally get it. Noone understands fibromyalgia and a lot of people seem to think it's not real. To be in pain pretty much 24/7 at times and treated like you're faking is exhausting and incredibly frustrating. Fibromyalgia totally derailed my life and my career and I even lost a few friends (not really a loss as they were pretty toxic anyway)
Rinso The Red 9 months ago
RA here, so I can sympathize. Chronic pain changes your entire life. The fatigue, brain fog, etc. are real and often difficult to explain to those without similar experiences. Bust of luck with your condition, I hope you're able to find some relief.
Veldrin Dalharil 9 months ago
Sadly I was diagnosed young with fibro, in a time when barely any doctors believed it existed. It's no easier later in life than it is at seventeen I assure you. Burning through what little ability you have in your twenties and early thirties leads to smacking into the brick wall of realizing what you MUST curtail in your work and social ability in order to stay functional. I wish you a good support system, I''d honestly be homeless without mine.
#27
Getting laid off.
Everyone’s working, doing their thing, workload fluctuates and slows down after the pandemic. The expectation is for us to give two weeks notice when we leave but I’ll be damned if I didn’t get a six hour heads up that my computer would lock at the end of the day and my severance check would be in the mail in a week.
DennyS (denzoren) 9 months ago
Yep, I was told at 2pm that my contract is being terminated at the end of the day (4pm).
Orange Panda 9 months ago
No. It depends on the company. I've been laid off by 2 corporations and a non profit. Only 1 gave me a severance package.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 9 months ago
Why is it that when redundancy comes around, it is always the most hardworking loyal employees who are top of the list to go? It is never the bone idle wasters who always arrive late, take time off "sick" every five minutes and who do nothing but complain that they hate their jobs.
April Pickett 9 months ago
It's cheaper to lay you off. They can get two for one. Of course, they don't know everything about the job, don't know the contacts they need and it takes time for them to become "skilled" in their new jobs, but the company doesn't have to worry about pensions and such with you gone.
Load More Replies... #28
How expensive maintaining a car is. Gas, windshield wipers, oil changes, repairs, brakes.
Corvus 9 months ago
There may be some inconveniences, but at the end of the day I am happy that I don't own a car :)
Rinso The Red 9 months ago
When I lived in a more metropolitan area, I didn't even get my license until my early 30's. That being said, where I live now, it's a 1/2 hour drive just to the grocery store. So not really an option.
Load More Replies... François Bouzigues 9 months ago
Best financial advise i ever had, from a top notch money person was never spend your actual incomes in a car. Use the interests of your money. If it means you can only have a beater, then drive a beater for as long as it takes. I do love cars. I´d love to have a nice one. But that is not for now.
#29
That stability is a dream. Everything, good and bad, shall pass.
#30
Laundry mountains that never stop growing.
Amelia Jade 9 months ago
This is one I don't get. We're a family of five and have never had a laundry mountain. I visited my brother and his family and they seemed to have a pile of laundry that never shrunk even though they were constantly doing loads. In our house, everyone has their own laundry basket in their room and they each have their own laundry day. My kids each started doing their own laundry at age 7. On your laundry day you wash it, dry it and put it away. Then you don't worry about it for a week. That's it. And since everyone does their own--they are small manageable loads that don't take much time.
#31
How to manage loneliness.
How to manage losing faith in a religion you were raised in and followed for 20+ years.
Grape Walls of Ire 9 months ago
My last therapist specialized in helping people deconstruct from religion. It's a huge ordeal, but worth it.
#33
If you fall, you can actually get hurt. I slipped on ice in my driveway a couple years ago. Didn't feel a thing until 5 minutes later until my entire left side, from head to toe, was screaming in pain.
I tore some stuff in both my legs. I had no idea until I couldn't get back off the couch.
Used to be, all I had to worry about was a twisted ankle. Now I have to go through massaging any injury until my body stops screaming "no, stupid, you live here now".
S**t ain't right.
Amelia Jade 9 months ago
I feel this. I'm 50 and took up roller skating a few years ago. I want so badly to do the tricks I did when I was a kid but I'm terrified of falling and breaking a hip.
Bartlet for world domination 9 months ago
Hormone replacement therapy, vitamin D3, calcium, magnesium. You can have your bone mass measured if you're scared but you're probably still fine.
Load More Replies... KnightOwl 9 months ago
A few months ago I was walking down the street and I just randomly fell forwards for no reason. I landed really hard on my knees but my left knee immediately felt weird, almost like it was deflating. Turns out I'd burst my knee wide open and all the fatty tissue around my knee joint had literally popped out of the open wound. It looked like white rice and just hung out of my knee looking like some strange flower. When I saw a doctor I was told I needed stitches but they would have to stuff the fatty tissue back in hold it in while they and stitch it closed. Weirdest feeling ever. Anyway it's been 3 months and it's still not fully healed, I'm only 38 and hate how much any injury takes to heal (if ever) I used to bounce back from horrible injuries like it was nothing now even small/simple wounds take a long time to fully recover from.
#34
How hard it is to meet people/sustain relationships. When you're young, you are constantly surrounded by people your age, going through on essentially the same schedule as you. But once you're an adult, it's really hard to meet people in between the daily grind, and even harder to plan things with people you do know because they are also living their own lives.
KnightOwl 9 months ago
So true. Once I hit my 20s everything changed, all my school and college friends started getting jobs, moving away, getting married and having babies and everyone just slowly drifted apart. I'm now 38 and never speak to any of them simply because we're all too busy living our lives.
Fire Singer 9 months ago
What works for me, so not everyone, is having a few good close friends who don't need constant "upkeep." So, like I can go weeks in silence with them and we'll get together randomly when we have time, get caught up, and it's fantastic. Though they are always available when one of us has an immediate issue. So, for me, it's about having friends who know just because we don't talk or make plans every weekend doesn't mean we aren't friends anymore, they don't take it personally and neither do I!
#35
Nobody told me socializing was a life skill and not just an entertainment activity. As an ostracized kid I always figured I'd have time to figure out how to find decent people as an adult. I didn't know the barriers I created for myself would impede by daily life and career so much. Things you never think of, like "How am I going to get home from this dental appointment if I'm still affected by anesthesia?".
#36
That living for the weekends makes your precious years fly. Stop and smell the roses means nothing without perspective. I use my neighbors cat for this purpose. She's really friendly but I used to hate cats. One day i decided to crouch down and pet her. I'm not a cat person now but I am beginning to understand the value of these little wholesome moments. Just slow down a little.
Cee Cee 9 months ago
How can anyone 'hate' animals? Yes some animals are dangerous but generally because they are hungry or scared. I grew up in the bush in Uganda. Lions lounged on the lawns some nights, elephants trampled our banana grove. Knew there was a black mamba lurking in the wood pile so we steered clear. But we certainly didn't hate them.
#37
How much health plummets if you’re not on top of things.
#39
How many men are abusive, hateful and violent towards women. I used to believe it was a fringe or minority of men.
Like It Is 9 months ago (edited)
I am sorry for this persons experience. It IS a minority of men. Abusive, Hateful, and Violent are strong words and I would only use those for less than 1% of men I have known. I hope this is not indicative of the current generation- certainly neither of my sons are like this at all.
Wintermute 9 months ago
As an aging man, I'm constantly surprised at how that number keeps creeping up the more I experience life. I mean, 20 years ago I'd have said abusive men (and just people in general) were the outlier, now I'm feeling like it's in the mid double digits, percentage wise.
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Yanko Andonov 9 months ago
I think this is absolutely true. I actually think that nowadays men are on top of dirty intrigues and manipulative violations towards basic rights and freedom much more than the previous three decades at least. I think the majority of men are raised with extremely high levels of accepted immorality during the years. They only learned more refined ways to hide it, so when you find out how rotten and sadistic they are the shock is unbelievable.
katiekat0214 9 months ago
It is SO NOT a minority of men. The prn revolution helped nothing and hurt everyone. Red pill is just awful and hateful. And just because you *think* your sons are not like this to you, and in front of you, doesn't mean they are good men. Really good men call out other men for being creepy, abusive, hateful towards everyone. The bar for men is just so low. NoInteractionPotluck is right... alas. Like It Is, not so much. One example, from family, is not at all a statistical universe in any way whatsoever.
#40
Feeling so lonely while married. I know I love him and he loves me, but we both have such crazy schedules it doesn’t feel like we’re a couple or life partners, more like roommates discussing what bill is due or what activity the kids have next. Idk, I miss feeling like I have a companion through life. Now it’s feels like I’m just another obligation to tend to. Crazy thing is I know I’m the not the only spouse that feels this way, it’s just the stage of life we’re in rn.
Susie Elle 9 months ago
Is it possible to plan time together? An evening or an afternoon just for the two of you? Even if months in advance?
Rinso The Red 9 months ago
This. You have to make the effort to maintain the relationship. Even if it feels less spontaneous, planning time like this will do wonders
Load More Replies... Je souhaite 9 months ago
Ha then don't get married one person cannot be your everything in life it can be a burden
#41
How fast fresh asparagus and raspberries go bad 😔.
Cyndi Hafele 9 months ago
Cut the ends off the asparagus, put the asparagus in a cup with water and put it in the refrigerator. It will stay fresh for at least 2 weeks.
Serena Myers 9 months ago
Raspberries. We grow our own, not a huge amount, a couple of small bushes. But the taste on a warm summer morning, picking them ripe and warm and sweet and fresh. Our garden is about 20ft by 30ft, so it is fairly small by most standards, but we grow potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, herbs, raspberries, strawberries, plum, apples, rhubarb, quince, courgette. It is amazing what you can grow in a relatively small space.
#42
They said “study now and play games later when you’ve made it”. I’ve made it but i don't have the f*****g time anymore, dad! (play your games kids they lying to you).
Wintermute 9 months ago
If you don't have time to play games, you haven't made it. You've made somebody's definition of "it," but not your "it."
Susie Elle 9 months ago
Never postpone anything to tomorrow if you can do it today. Tomorrow may never come.
#43
Little kids don’t have an off button. So you go to work, come home to work more, put them to bed for them to wake up throughout the night, wake up to take them to daycare so you can repeat…. For like years. If you’re under 30 you should not have a child IMO. I’d also forego children if not in a 2 person relationship and without a support group. I don’t get how people can do it. .
Ann Kapoxeet 9 months ago
People always talk about how hard kids are when they're little, but moly mell the teenage years are rough. Make sure to save some energy & money for that. I have neither. I always thought that if you develop a strong relationship when they're young, it will be easier as they age. Haha...I was so naive.
#44
The realization that times starts moving much much faster and more progressively day by day after leaving high school and that if you don’t take moments to appreciate the moments then you’ll find yourself reminiscing a bit too much.
Bartlet for world domination 9 months ago
Time moves fast when you're not learning/seeing/appreciating new things.
Dar Mal 9 months ago
actually, I would contest that it is the opposite. NOT doing anything or doing the same daily makes life drag.
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#45
Taking the family cat to the vet to be put to rest.
john doe 9 months ago
Growing up we had many dogs, my dad was always the one who took them in to be put to sleep, so I never experienced it. Us kids were sad but moved on quickly, the only time I ever saw my dad cry was when he had to put down our 2 year old dog that was hit by a car, I didn't get it really then. I had to put my 13 year old basset hound down a month ago and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, I was so sad it was so devastating to watch him go, I called my dad later and thanked him for shouldering that burden for us when we were young.
Fire Singer 9 months ago
That's a good dad. I'm sorry about your basset. No matter how long you have with a pet it's never enough and it always hurts. <3
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#46
Dealing with relatives continuing to infantilize and try to control me to an extreme degree well into adulthood...
#47
Domestic violence. I’ve experienced it and so have lots of friends. I didn’t realise how common it was. I guess I had stereotypes about it.
#48
How hard it is making friends .
Serena Myers 9 months ago
It's not hard making friends when you are young, your standard bar is not high. It's harder as you get older, because your standards, and those of others your age, get higher.
#49
Living paycheck to paycheck. Man, as a kid, even when we were broke, I still had cereal in the morning, lunch, and dinner. I had love from mom and dad.
As an adult, I’m so thankful to not have kids cause, man.. owning a house, grabbing lunch and dinner… s**t is crazy expensive.
I realize this sounds so first world, but, I stress about not being able to make it for a month or two and just… getting lost in debt. I’m barely scraping by.
Haven’t had a vacation in 5 years. Don’t see one soon either.
It’s scary. And stressful.
DennyS (denzoren) 9 months ago
It's very scary and stressful because it's always a paycheck away from disaster.
#50
How s****y people are. I should not have had to walk around my college campus and worry about getting punched by some m**********r I don’t know because he was having a bad day.
#51
My dad dying, and watching my mom age.
#52
Seeing my partner suffering in the hospital. Never gets any easier.
That, and seeing people in authority dehumanizing my partner and others. Dystopian stories don't quite prepare anyone to see how insidious it can be.
#54
That the tattletales in elementary school actually got well compensated jobs in a field called “HR”
and will still try to f**k you out of money or a career advancement. They never changed and there’s an actual job for these people.
#55
Staying out of the trap of tv/Internet. When I was a kid I didn't understand why my parents just veged so much. Their lives just slipped away. It's easy to jump into a routine of rinse and repeat. It takes real effort to have hobbies, do things, grow past your 20's.
Fire Singer 9 months ago
Watching my grandma age was really hard specifically because she didn't have hobbies. She didn't even watch tv. She didn't read, or listen to audio books as her vision started to go. She didn't have any crafts or anything to keep her mind occupied. She liked to shop, but that was her only real "hobby". It was tough watching her sit there day after day being bored because she didn't WANT to do anything and she had no hobbies to fall back on.
#56
Widowhood. Nobody ever knows how long "forever" is when you see the happily ever afters in movies.
I had it and I lost it. Five years later...i'm still depressed and sad and I'll be spending my life alone, through the scariest time North America has ever experienced.
Fire Singer 9 months ago
Though relatives and friends can't replace a spouse I do hope you have other people around!
Lila Allen 9 months ago
HUGS. I promise you are not alone. Go out to a protest or two or go to a town hall or support group. I promise people who will love and support you are out here.
#57
If you’re disabled but aren’t in a wheelchair, blind, or terminally ill, you’re f****d employment-wise. No one gives a s**t if every moment of your life is spent in severe pain if they can’t see the reason why, and you probably won’t qualify for disability.
#58
The high school games and popularity contests in the work environment. I thought the bs would end after high school. I was way wrong and have never been able to conform to it.
#59
When I was a kid I thought adults pretty much had everything figured out and it was simply my job to learn it. I’ve come to realize most adults are a mess and know next to nothing.
#61
Getting enough sleep. I would shank someone to be able to get 8-10 hours of pure uninterrupted sleep again. Most nights you're lucky if you manage 5.
Serena Myers 9 months ago
Mug of cocoa, nytol, and some meditation techniques OP. If you haven't got white/pink/brown/green noise, or whatever, practice the three breaths in, hold for three, release for three, hold for three and repeat. Failing that, go through the alphabet in your head with colours, girl or boy names, three 3 letter words starting with A (ace, ant, arc) and so on.
#62
Failing. The constant failure at both big and small things, and how much it can crush your self-worth until you don’t even feel worthy of having a life, let alone living it happily.
I have no clue how to keep going when good things are so few and far between.
#63
The dentist and how expensive it is even with insurance.
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
Thankfully, my insurance covers just about everything for dentistry. But my oldest and I have extreme nearsightedness that requires very heavy prescriptions. We both need updated prescriptions 2x/year, and it costs me nearly $2500/year just to keep us both in glasses.
#64
Dealing with family descending into increasing d**g use. I can see the abyss for them, but am ignored or ridiculed.
realenancy170 9 months ago
It is horrific. You want to be supportive but you also have to be on guard around them as they will lie and may try to take advantage of you.
#65
Death (family/friends/your own).
realenancy170 9 months ago
I took a family friend 104yo to a funeral for her neice who died at 88. She was sobbing, she cried out "l watched her be born. They are all dying!" I now know I do not want to outlive my contemporaries. I want to go when I find myself going to too many funerals of people my age. Being the last one alive sucks.
#66
Being alone, I don’t mean absolutely no one I still have family in my town. I mean having the feeling of no one for true companionship. It’s gotten to the point of trying dating apps and that tends to ruin myself confidence enough where in person meeting is beyond stressful.
realenancy170 9 months ago
It's been said many times but put yourself out there. Join a group where you meet people. A book club, a church group, a choir , an amateur sports team(bowling, basketball softball), group of hobbyists( sewing, quilting, scrabble, mah jonhg) you might like to learn about. You will make friends , relieve boredom and possibly find love.
#67
Being so alone and lonely.
#69
Being sicker than a dog and having to drive yourself to urgent care.
Lost Panda 9 months ago
Being sicker than a dog and not going to the doctor because you have a job and family to take care of first
Fire Singer 9 months ago
And because a doctor will just tell you "you're fine" and bill you $7000 for it.
Load More Replies... #71
Watching people you love self destruct and being powerless to help them because they don’t want help.
#72
Hormonal changes as men and women age and the effect on the marriage relationship. It's so easy to point fingers and bring judgement on couples when things fail but when those changes happen and not voiced...intimacy dies silently. Libidos are either strong or nonexistant depending on the person. Requests are denied, advances stop, insecurity and questioning lack of desire can cause emotional/physical cheating. Then, the marriage ends due to the couple basically being roommates. If this is happening, check in with both spouse doctors.
#73
Networking and scheduling. No one tells you just how crucial it is to be able to make contact and become a contact. And also how much stress you save by organizing your time and effort. Regardless of your line of work.
What do you think ?
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
So many of these are so depressing, so here's a positive one: my experiences in adulthood are the exact opposite. I spent my 20s spiraling into alcohol abuse. But once I got sober and got therapy, I was able to get my life to a manageable place. I came out from under the indoctrination of being raised in a borderline cult. Now doing a lot of these things are a privilege for me instead of a sinkhole of depression and anxiety. I don't have to pay rent, I get to pay my own rent instead of relying on the men in my life to take care of me. I got to go to back to school and I passed my algebra class despite being told my entire life that women aren't capable of understanding mathematics and science. When my now-ex husband moved out a couple of years ago, I was 40 and it was the first time in my life I've ever had a bedroom to myself, and it's AMAZING. I don't have to do dishes or go grocery shopping or go to the bank, I get to do those things.
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
So many of these are so depressing, so here's a positive one: my experiences in adulthood are the exact opposite. I spent my 20s spiraling into alcohol abuse. But once I got sober and got therapy, I was able to get my life to a manageable place. I came out from under the indoctrination of being raised in a borderline cult. Now doing a lot of these things are a privilege for me instead of a sinkhole of depression and anxiety. I don't have to pay rent, I get to pay my own rent instead of relying on the men in my life to take care of me. I got to go to back to school and I passed my algebra class despite being told my entire life that women aren't capable of understanding mathematics and science. When my now-ex husband moved out a couple of years ago, I was 40 and it was the first time in my life I've ever had a bedroom to myself, and it's AMAZING. I don't have to do dishes or go grocery shopping or go to the bank, I get to do those things.
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