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Man Weirded Out By Pregnant Friend Who Treats Him Like The Father And Wants Him At The Delivery
Woman in labor supported in hospital bed while partner and nurse provide comfort during birth support experience

Man Weirded Out By Pregnant Friend Who Treats Him Like The Father And Wants Him At The Delivery

21

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We all have that one friend we instinctively call when life throws anything our way. Feeling bored? They’re the first number you dial. Stressed? They’re the one who listens. They’re loyal, dependable, and always show up… But sometimes, even the strongest friendships can test boundaries in ways you don’t expect.

Take one woman’s story, for example. She wasn’t bothered by her boyfriend having a female best friend, at first. Things took a surprising turn when that best friend asked him to be present for her childbirth. Keep reading to see why he was asked and why it pushed the author to her limits.

RELATED:

    Childbirth can be an intense and deeply emotional experience

    Pregnant woman in hospital bed supported by partner and medical staff during birth support experience.

    Image credits: Pressmaster

    One woman shared how she felt unsettled when her boyfriend was asked to attend his best friend’s delivery

    Woman feels hurt as partner’s first birth support experience happens with female friend at hospital.

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    Woman feels hurt as partner experiences first birth support with female friend, causing emotional distance and tension.

    Text on a white background describes a woman feeling hurt as her partner’s first birth support experience won’t include her.

    Woman feels hurt as partner has first birth support experience without her, showing emotional distance during a difficult time.

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    Text excerpt from a woman feeling hurt as her partner’s first birth support experience happens without her.

    Text describing a woman feeling hurt as her partner’s first birth support experience happens without her presence.

    Woman feeling hurt as partner supports birth experience without her, expressing emotional pain and relationship struggle.

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    Woman feels hurt and emotional as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her presence.

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    Woman feels hurt as partner experiences first birth support without her, highlighting emotional impact and challenges in delivery plans.

    Woman feels hurt as partner misses first birth support, leaving her scared and alone during labor induction.

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    Woman feeling hurt and emotional as partner's first birth support experience happens without her presence.

    Text discussing a woman feeling hurt as her partner's first birth support experience is with someone else, causing jealousy.

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    Woman feeling hurt and upset sitting on a couch, reflecting on partner’s first birth support experience without her

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    Text discussing feelings about partner’s first birth support experience and concerns during labor and postpartum.

    Woman feels hurt and excluded as partner's first birth support experience happens without her presence.

    Woman feels hurt as partner experiences first birth support without her, highlighting emotional challenges and complex feelings.

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    Text excerpt discussing doubts about paternity and feelings related to a partner’s birth support experience.

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    Text excerpt discussing a woman's feelings hurt due to partner’s first birth support experience not involving her.

    Text discussing a woman feeling hurt as her partner’s first birth support experience is with someone else, not her.

    Woman feeling hurt as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her, showing emotional distance and sadness.

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    Woman feeling hurt and overwhelmed as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her presence.

    Text excerpt discussing a woman feeling hurt as her partner's first birth support experience won't be with her.

    Text on a white background discussing contacting a mutual female acquaintance for birth support as a support network.

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    Image credits: BeetrootBrownies

    She went on to explain the full story, giving more context about the situation

    Woman feels hurt as partner’s first birth support experience takes place without her presence.

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    Screenshot of an online forum post expressing feelings of hurt over partner’s first birth support experience not being shared.

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    Woman looking hurt while her partner supports birth without her, expressing feelings of exclusion and emotional pain.

    Woman feeling hurt and alone as partner's first birth support experience happens without her presence

    Screenshot of an online comment expressing concern about a woman feeling hurt over partner’s first birth support experience.

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    Woman looking hurt and reflective, highlighting feelings around partner’s first birth support experience without her.

    Having your partner by your side during childbirth can make the whole experience feel more supportive, comforting, and even empowering

    Labour isn’t exactly a walk in the park, especially for first-time moms. Between the aches, intense sensations, and all the unknowns, having someone there for support, both emotional and practical, can make the whole experience a lot more manageable (and a little less terrifying). Research consistently shows that having a companion during labour significantly reduces stress, increases confidence, and can even improve birth outcomes. A familiar, comforting presence can make the journey less daunting and help the mother feel more in control. 

    Often, the partner or father-to-be takes on this role, providing comfort, reassurance, and practical assistance. But it isn’t limited to them: some women prefer a parent, sibling, close relative, trusted friend, or even a traditional birth attendant. The key is familiarity and trust. For some partners, being actively involved adds meaning to the experience, allowing them to share in the milestone and feel connected from the very beginning.

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    Ultimately, it’s the mother who should decide who supports her. Annie Portela, Technical Officer at the WHO Department of Maternal, Newborn, Child, and Adolescent Health and Ageing, emphasizes: “From global actors to healthcare providers, community networks, and women’s groups, everyone has a role in advocating for labour companions. Every woman has the right to choose a companion to support her during labour and childbirth.” This ensures the mother’s needs, comfort, and preferences remain central to the experience.

    A labour companion should understand the stages of labour: early labour, active labour, and the postnatal period. Being aware of what to expect at each stage helps the companion provide better support. Today, many hospitals and community centers offer preparatory classes for couples or companions, teaching practical skills, communication strategies, and comfort measures. Even simple things, like knowing how to assist with breathing exercises or when to call for help, can make a huge difference. Preparation builds confidence for both the mother and the companion.

    During labour, having someone by your side isn’t just nice: it’s a game-changer. Even simple things like holding a hand, rubbing a tense shoulder, or whispering “you’ve got this” can do wonders. Just being there, cheering her on, reminding her to breathe, or making sure the pillows are comfy, turns scary, stressful moments into ones she can actually get through. It’s the little gestures that make a huge difference in both comfort and morale.

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    Women often need a mix of support, everything from emotional encouragement to practical help, throughout the labour journey

    Image credits: DC_Studio / envato (not the actual photo)

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    One of the most important roles of a labour companion is effective communication. Continuously checking in with the mother about her needs, preferences, and comfort is vital. Sometimes it’s about speaking words of encouragement; other times, it’s about reading non-verbal cues and knowing when to step in or give space. Listening carefully, repeating information from medical staff if needed, and being a calm presence reduces anxiety and ensures the mother feels understood and supported.

    Being a labour sidekick is all about patience and empathy. Labour can throw curveballs, and emotions can swing from calm to “I need a venti latte of support” in seconds. A good companion doesn’t rush, doesn’t judge, and rolls with whatever the mom needs.

    And the role of a labour companion doesn’t end once the baby is born. Postpartum support is equally important, especially in the first few days and weeks. Helping with meals, hydration, and basic tasks allows the mother to focus on recovery and bonding with her baby. Emotional support remains key, as the mother navigates physical healing, breastfeeding, and adjusting to life with a newborn. A reliable companion helps the mother feel cared for, rested, and ready to embrace motherhood with confidence.

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    In this case, it seems the guy’s best friend didn’t have anyone to support her during childbirth. However, the author made a fair point: being present during labour can be an incredibly emotional and demanding experience. It’s a situation that brings up complex feelings about boundaries, trust, and priorities. How would you handle something like this? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

    Online readers empathized with the author’s feelings while also sympathizing with the friend’s difficult circumstances

    Text conversation discussing partner's discomfort and challenges with birth support experience during labor.

    Woman feels hurt as partner’s first birth support experience excludes her, highlighting emotional challenges in relationship dynamics.

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    User comment expressing concern about dependence on a partner amid birth support and family dynamics issues.

    Comment expressing concern about partner’s absence during first birth support experience and exposure during labor.

    Text discussing discomfort with partner's birth support role and managing expectations for emotional support after birth.

    Text conversation expressing hurt feelings as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her present.

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    Woman feeling hurt as partner's first birth support experience happens without her presence and involvement

    Comment discussing partner's first birth support experience and emotional impact on woman feeling hurt.

    Woman feels hurt and disappointed as partner’s first birth support experience will not be with her during labor.

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    Woman feels hurt as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her, showing emotional conflict in relationship.

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    Screenshot of a forum post about a woman feeling hurt as partner’s first birth support experience will not include her.

    Screenshot of a comment discussing women’s care and the need for male support during vulnerable birth moments.

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    Text excerpt showing a person expressing sympathy for a woman feeling alone and scared due to lack of birth support from her partner.

    Text excerpt discussing a woman needing birth support as her partner’s first birth experience won’t be with her.

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    Woman feeling hurt as partner’s first birth support experience happens without her, highlighting emotional pain and childbirth support issues.

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    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

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    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

    What do you think ?
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1- he doesn't want to. 2- he doesn't want to. 3- he doesn't want to. Little missy is pushing for whatever she can get from him. Draw the line now. Should have been drawn already quite a while back.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woman who has no female friends at all but attaches herself to the partner of another woman in this manner? Nah.

    Disgruntled Panda
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally I'd be perfectly ok with my husband supporting a friend through childbirth. Few things seem scarier to me than having to give birth for the first time, abandoned by your partner, without a support system. I'd actually think more highly of him. (Admittedly I might be simplifying the situation)

    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She will fall in love with OP's DP immediately, if it hasn't yet occured. Oxytocin (the hormone that contracts the womb during delivery and induces milk ejection while feeding a baby, besides being released at the climax of a sweetcoress) has a strong effect on the emotional coloring of the occasion. Usually that means strong bonding.

    Load More Replies...
    Petra D.
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pregnant lady needs a doula.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she is trying to insert him in as the surrogate father and is not platonic about him at all. She also has no female friends? At all? Red flags all over.

    greenideas
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While nice, no one is entitled to emotional support. Sometimes you have to go through things alone and that's ok. Trauma dumping to make yourself feel better is not ok.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did she keep the baby when JoshD*ckHead left ?? Yeah she'll heavily rely on OP's man as a surrogate father....

    Eri J
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she's wanting him to step up and 'be the dad' to her kid.

    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel sorry for the pregnant woman. She must be absolutely terrified, to all of a sudden be pregnant and single, while barely having a support system. I understand why she's clinging on a bit too strongly to the only close friend she has. The idea of giving birth without a partner or family member or friend by her side, must be so terrifying to her. So I can forgive her freaking out when she found out (it's hard to always think reasonably when pregnant), if she apologises once she's cooled down. I also feel like it's a very gendered situation. I think that if a woman who is single and pregnant asks her female best friend to be there during the birth, nobody would bat an eye. But because her best friend is a man, everybody sees it very differently.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a woman. Who’s been induced with my 24 yr old . It’s more freaking painful than going in to labour naturally cos your body does it thing naturally and works up to it , when induced ,it’s 0-10 in under ten mins mostly. So no build up ,eldest was72 bloody hours. My 21 yr old ,had been bungee jumping as I called it from 24 weeks every two weeks n had him a week early 45 min start to having him. Giving birth is a myriad of emotions pain fear elation anger even ,yup really the amount of women as swear blue m****r 😂is very high n very common. I can honestly say no way in hell would I have wanted anyone male bar my husband n docs obvs when I was in the main part !! That said as it is a very scary time , the poor lass is on her own totally no family in this country. ( loads have no family I don’t n I’m English ) n if I was with someone as had a mate like Mia I’d not let my partner go , but I d be there in a heartbeat. Childbirth is an emotional,wonderful time and everyone should have

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone there with them. EVERYONE . It’s also very intimate to. So no ops fella was right to say no. However he could have been nicer , plus he used google translate 🤦‍♀️to put it in to her native tongue , that likely does NOT say what he was actually saying either 🤦‍♀️,op please reach out to her and offer to be her birth partner ,please she needs someone ,hell if she was anywhere near me I’d be there to support her in a heartbeat. (N being an empath ,I’d ligit feel everything she felt entire time ,a reason I keep away from people). But im not selfish & I’d never see a woman go thru it alone . I know loads do do it alone but THEY SHOULDNT HAVE TO ! & midwives n nurses are not the same ,as they are busy people ,let us know how mia is doing please ,poor lass x that said your not the AH , your fella does need to learn to articulate better mind .

    Load More Replies...
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1- he doesn't want to. 2- he doesn't want to. 3- he doesn't want to. Little missy is pushing for whatever she can get from him. Draw the line now. Should have been drawn already quite a while back.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woman who has no female friends at all but attaches herself to the partner of another woman in this manner? Nah.

    Disgruntled Panda
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally I'd be perfectly ok with my husband supporting a friend through childbirth. Few things seem scarier to me than having to give birth for the first time, abandoned by your partner, without a support system. I'd actually think more highly of him. (Admittedly I might be simplifying the situation)

    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She will fall in love with OP's DP immediately, if it hasn't yet occured. Oxytocin (the hormone that contracts the womb during delivery and induces milk ejection while feeding a baby, besides being released at the climax of a sweetcoress) has a strong effect on the emotional coloring of the occasion. Usually that means strong bonding.

    Load More Replies...
    Petra D.
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pregnant lady needs a doula.

    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she is trying to insert him in as the surrogate father and is not platonic about him at all. She also has no female friends? At all? Red flags all over.

    greenideas
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While nice, no one is entitled to emotional support. Sometimes you have to go through things alone and that's ok. Trauma dumping to make yourself feel better is not ok.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    6 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did she keep the baby when JoshD*ckHead left ?? Yeah she'll heavily rely on OP's man as a surrogate father....

    Eri J
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she's wanting him to step up and 'be the dad' to her kid.

    Jaya
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel sorry for the pregnant woman. She must be absolutely terrified, to all of a sudden be pregnant and single, while barely having a support system. I understand why she's clinging on a bit too strongly to the only close friend she has. The idea of giving birth without a partner or family member or friend by her side, must be so terrifying to her. So I can forgive her freaking out when she found out (it's hard to always think reasonably when pregnant), if she apologises once she's cooled down. I also feel like it's a very gendered situation. I think that if a woman who is single and pregnant asks her female best friend to be there during the birth, nobody would bat an eye. But because her best friend is a man, everybody sees it very differently.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a woman. Who’s been induced with my 24 yr old . It’s more freaking painful than going in to labour naturally cos your body does it thing naturally and works up to it , when induced ,it’s 0-10 in under ten mins mostly. So no build up ,eldest was72 bloody hours. My 21 yr old ,had been bungee jumping as I called it from 24 weeks every two weeks n had him a week early 45 min start to having him. Giving birth is a myriad of emotions pain fear elation anger even ,yup really the amount of women as swear blue m****r 😂is very high n very common. I can honestly say no way in hell would I have wanted anyone male bar my husband n docs obvs when I was in the main part !! That said as it is a very scary time , the poor lass is on her own totally no family in this country. ( loads have no family I don’t n I’m English ) n if I was with someone as had a mate like Mia I’d not let my partner go , but I d be there in a heartbeat. Childbirth is an emotional,wonderful time and everyone should have

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone there with them. EVERYONE . It’s also very intimate to. So no ops fella was right to say no. However he could have been nicer , plus he used google translate 🤦‍♀️to put it in to her native tongue , that likely does NOT say what he was actually saying either 🤦‍♀️,op please reach out to her and offer to be her birth partner ,please she needs someone ,hell if she was anywhere near me I’d be there to support her in a heartbeat. (N being an empath ,I’d ligit feel everything she felt entire time ,a reason I keep away from people). But im not selfish & I’d never see a woman go thru it alone . I know loads do do it alone but THEY SHOULDNT HAVE TO ! & midwives n nurses are not the same ,as they are busy people ,let us know how mia is doing please ,poor lass x that said your not the AH , your fella does need to learn to articulate better mind .

    Load More Replies...
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