Parents Tell Their Daughter They’re Removing Her From The Will Because She Has No Kids, So She Ruins Their Holidays
Kids. Some folks want to have ‘em. Some folks don’t. Either way, it can be a sore and embarrassing topic of discussion with family members. Especially around the holidays. But if you think you’re feeling pressured to have kids by your loved ones, you’d better check again because things might not be as bad for you as for some.
Redditor Doesnotcontributes shared the story of how her entire family got into a massive argument before Christmas. Her parents wrote her out of their will because she was the only one of her three other siblings not having kids.
So in response, the woman demanded that her family members leave her house. Later, she let them know very clearly that she wouldn’t be hosting Christmas at her house this time. The redditor then turned to the ‘Am I the Assh*le’ subreddit for their advice whether she was justified in doing what she did.
A woman shared her story of how she ruined her family’s Christmas because her parents cut her out of the will
Image credits: Ken Mayer (not the actual photo)
Why did they do that? Well, their daughter wasn’t having kids
Image credits: doesnotcontributes
Doesnotcontributes’ post got removed from the subreddit because it breached the community’s rule on not posting revenge stories. However, the story can still be found hiding, lurking, deep in the dark corners of the internet (Twitter and Imgur).
The vast majority of redditors thought that Doesnotcontributes was not in the wrong and blamed her family for believing that the only way to ‘contribute’ is by having kids. However, some internet users thought that she could have responded more calmly. While others thought that the entire family was to blame.
The holiday season can be a rough time and cause a lot of arguments because of how different reality is from high expectations. According to Dr. Zoe Shaw, some parents can be very inflexible because they expect that each and every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day should be spent with the extended family, even when everyone’s all grown up. However, spending all that time just with your family can be exhausting. Everyone needs some basic boundaries and some time to be alone to unwind.
Meanwhile, Yesenia Almonte writes that telling your family members that you don’t want to have kids is especially difficult in some communities. For example, if you’re Hispanic, there are certain traditional expectations that you will create a family.
Dr. Ellen Walker explains that one of the best things that you can do if you don’t want to have kids is to have a clear and solid understanding of the reasons why you’re choosing to do what you do. She also suggests that when talking about your choices to others that you be assertive but not confrontational or trying to control the beliefs of others. After all, it’s not about being right; it’s about understanding one another.
The vast majority of people thought that the woman wasn’t in the wrong; the parents were
I have fertility issues and I am also the only one out of 4 children that has not/can not have children and the father saying that to her just p****s me off! It's so rude and just a load of crap. Weather you choose to not have kids or can't have kids has nothing to do with contribution. I am so happy that her Husband backed her up without batting an eye. I know if I was in her shoes my husband and I would do the exact same as her. You don't need toxic people in your life even if they are family.
It makes me sick when I hear my coworker say her son is getting married so she can finally get grandchildren. If that is what you are shooting for then your priorities are all wrong. My wife and I have been married 9 years and with her fertility issues, my parents have NEVER said a word about us having kids. its never come up. I am so thankful for their understanding. Sounds like this woman is the ONLY good egg to come from that family.
I find it weird that people harp on about "when are you giving me grandchildren". I don't think I've ever met anyone like that personally though, although I think my sister got a bit of "when are you having your 2nd one" from her step-mother-in-law (they never did). My parents never said a word to me about having children, although when we did finally announce our one and only was on the way, my mum did say she'd thought we'd decided not to (we didn't rush into it). So she had wondered, but had enough decency not to pry into our business. I think there must be segments of society who thrive on boasting about their grandkids so, if you don't have any, others look at you like you've failed in some way. Not that this explains these people - they clearly all ready have grandkids.
I am my mother's only child and she did something similar to me. She basically cut me out of the will because I didn't give grandkids and is giving everything to the neighbors kids because they call her grandma. It has absolutely devastated me to essentially be tools I have no value to her because I did not give her grandkids. Then again, our family is so f-in dysfunctional there was no way I was passing that on to any future generation.
Stop calling her "mom" and start using her name. She has changed your relationship to her, not you. If the neighbor kids have relationships with their blood grandparents, wonder how she'll feel when they mention their "real grandparents."
It is no one's business how many kids you do or don't have. There is no Biblical, moral, economic, societal, altruistic mandate or obligation to have kids or have a certain number of kids. END OF STORY!!!!
Not only that, but there were only 1 billion of us in 1800, 2 billion in 1930, and now we are going full steam towards 8 billion humans on our suffering planet. https://www.ecology.com/population-estimates-year-2050/
well, there are directives in the bible to 'go forth and multiply, and fill all this land'. The reason a lot of churches consider it an obligation to get married and have children (unless your going to be celibate to work for the church...) is because it's probably the most reliable means of maintaining a churches congregation.
I am so glad that my family accepted my decision to not have kids. The only one who actually asked more than once (read: twice) was my great-grandmother and I'm fairly sure she just forgot.
That’s awesome but what is there to accept?
It's very much no expected. It's considered normal to want kids of your own for some strange reason. Also parents tend to take it as some kind of indictment of them, when their children don't want kids of your own.
I have fertility issues and I am also the only one out of 4 children that has not/can not have children and the father saying that to her just p****s me off! It's so rude and just a load of crap. Weather you choose to not have kids or can't have kids has nothing to do with contribution. I am so happy that her Husband backed her up without batting an eye. I know if I was in her shoes my husband and I would do the exact same as her. You don't need toxic people in your life even if they are family.
It makes me sick when I hear my coworker say her son is getting married so she can finally get grandchildren. If that is what you are shooting for then your priorities are all wrong. My wife and I have been married 9 years and with her fertility issues, my parents have NEVER said a word about us having kids. its never come up. I am so thankful for their understanding. Sounds like this woman is the ONLY good egg to come from that family.
I find it weird that people harp on about "when are you giving me grandchildren". I don't think I've ever met anyone like that personally though, although I think my sister got a bit of "when are you having your 2nd one" from her step-mother-in-law (they never did). My parents never said a word to me about having children, although when we did finally announce our one and only was on the way, my mum did say she'd thought we'd decided not to (we didn't rush into it). So she had wondered, but had enough decency not to pry into our business. I think there must be segments of society who thrive on boasting about their grandkids so, if you don't have any, others look at you like you've failed in some way. Not that this explains these people - they clearly all ready have grandkids.
I am my mother's only child and she did something similar to me. She basically cut me out of the will because I didn't give grandkids and is giving everything to the neighbors kids because they call her grandma. It has absolutely devastated me to essentially be tools I have no value to her because I did not give her grandkids. Then again, our family is so f-in dysfunctional there was no way I was passing that on to any future generation.
Stop calling her "mom" and start using her name. She has changed your relationship to her, not you. If the neighbor kids have relationships with their blood grandparents, wonder how she'll feel when they mention their "real grandparents."
It is no one's business how many kids you do or don't have. There is no Biblical, moral, economic, societal, altruistic mandate or obligation to have kids or have a certain number of kids. END OF STORY!!!!
Not only that, but there were only 1 billion of us in 1800, 2 billion in 1930, and now we are going full steam towards 8 billion humans on our suffering planet. https://www.ecology.com/population-estimates-year-2050/
well, there are directives in the bible to 'go forth and multiply, and fill all this land'. The reason a lot of churches consider it an obligation to get married and have children (unless your going to be celibate to work for the church...) is because it's probably the most reliable means of maintaining a churches congregation.
I am so glad that my family accepted my decision to not have kids. The only one who actually asked more than once (read: twice) was my great-grandmother and I'm fairly sure she just forgot.
That’s awesome but what is there to accept?
It's very much no expected. It's considered normal to want kids of your own for some strange reason. Also parents tend to take it as some kind of indictment of them, when their children don't want kids of your own.