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Son Who Couldn’t Even Learn How To Do Laundry Blames Parent After Getting Credit Card Debt At 19
Raising children can be difficult. After all, it’s a process that shapes a new human being. However, no two children are the same, and some can be more difficult than others.
In this Reddit post, a person tells a story of how their son, who always rebelled when being taught things, overcharged his credit card and blamed his parent for not telling him how to balance a checkbook. Scroll down to find the full story!
More info: Reddit
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Some children are extremely difficult to teach things to, but sometimes, the reason for it can be more complicated than what it appears to be at first glance
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
A person tells how their son always used to rebel when being taught things and would later always mess everything up when he did it himself
Image credits: CardMapr.nl (not the actual photo)
The guy called his parent, asking them to pay for his overcharged credit card and blaming them for not teaching him how to manage his finances
Image credits: Naive-Razzmatazz4179
Irritated, the parent refused, saying it was his mess to clean up, to which the son responded by calling them a jerk and turning to his grandparents for support
The OP begins by telling us that their son has been a nightmare to teach things to. He would leave halfway through when being taught and mess up even the most straightforward things when doing them, regardless of how many times he was shown how to. According to the author, they believe the guy was lazy, and this was his way of getting out of chores.
Skip forward to a few days ago, and the now 19-year-old is already in college. After overspending his credit card, he called the OP to tell them about the situation, blaming them for not teaching him how to balance a checkbook.
The parent disagreed, and so, angered by what they saw as their son’s incompetence, they refused to help. This started an argument, resulting in their son calling them a jerk and turning to his grandparents for help, who took their grandchild’s side.
The people in the comment section agreed that, in this instance, the OP was not a jerk. But while some were simply laughing and saying that it’s not some complicated thing that a 19-year-old couldn’t handle, others were finding his frustration and struggle to learn things concerning. They pointed out that this may very well be a sign of some underlying conditions, like ADHD and autism, which should definitely be looked at.
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Seeing these concerns, we decided to look further into how these underlying conditions can impact a person’s learning.
According to LD Resources Foundation, Inc., up to 10% of the population suffers from learning disabilities caused by ADHD, autism, and dyslexia, which usually boils down to around 2 or 3 students in a classroom.
The article emphasizes that a learning disability shouldn’t be confused with an intellectual disability. While things like ADHD and autism are technically not either one of those things, they might make learning just as tricky. It also says that every child is different, and the problems affecting them might differ just as well, regardless of what other children with a similar condition might deal with.
Expanding further into the subject, the article tells us about the obstacles people with these conditions encounter when trying to learn. For example, for autism, a good indication can be developmental delays. They can inhibit things like speech, memory, reasoning, coordination, and capacity to perform tasks, which, to most, might appear very simple.
Diagnosing someone with a moderate learning deficit and autism can be difficult. Still, everything is possible, and help for such individuals can be crucial to make them feel like full members of society like everyone else.
When talking about ADHD, the learning itself might not be as much of a problem as the inability to concentrate or simply sit down and focus on a single task at hand because of the hyperactivity and impulsivity that comes with it.
While it’s not considered a learning disability, these things can coexist, and having both makes it difficult to identify the second one as the symptoms tend to overlap. It’s also critical to treat both conditions simultaneously, as the problems can persist if treating only one, and it may seem like the treatment brings no benefit.
According to the article, many learning disabilities can occur together with ADHD and/or autism. The list includes dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, non-verbal learning disabilities, dyspraxia, and executive functioning impairments.
The article concludes that, at the moment, all these conditions are impossible to cure. However, that absolutely doesn’t mean that a person who has them cannot have a happy and successful life, as we have plenty of well-known examples of people who went on to do great things despite what their diagnosis said.
Ultimately, instead of assuming what the person thinks and why they do what they do, it’s always a good call to talk to them and the experts first to find out what’s really going on. It’s all the more true when the person in question is your child whom you find hard to deal with.
No single thing can truly define who we are if we choose to. We all encounter different obstacles in life, but to overcome them, it’s crucial to know what we’re dealing with and how we should go about it.
What do you think of this story? Have you encountered similar situations in your life? Share your thoughts down below!
Commenters pointed out that while the poster is not a jerk here, their son might have underlying conditions that impact his learning ability, and they’re wrong for not looking into them
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Mark OFlynn (not the actual photo)
What do you think ?
Ron Baza 2 years ago (edited)
As the parent of a neurodivergent child I feel that I can safely say this: There are some absolute congenital morons replying to the OP who have confused being a brat with ADHD.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Yep, thank you! My adhd kept me in plenty of trouble as a kid but learning basic things, like laundry, aren't a struggle. Allowing your child to say, "no" when it comes to learning, laundry in this case, and then doing it for them is simply enabling a soon-to-be lazy, jerk adult. The kid will learn how to do laundry really quick when all their clothes are still soiled, their undergarments smell, and their peers aren't so stoked on their new slovenly habits.
Load More Replies...
Shark Lady 2 years ago
If he had called his parents and told them he messed up and could they help him work out what went wrong, that would be one thing but wanting to be bailed out doesn't suggest neurodivergence it suggests entitlement.
Tyke 2 years ago
How does a 19 year old get a credit card with that big an overdraft on it. Doesn't it come with a limit?
Jeanette Thompson 2 years ago
Late payments + interest add up to overdrafts.
Load More Replies...
Papa 2 years ago
Grandparent here. The grandparents should mind their own business. When the boy called them they should have said "This is between you and your dad, and we are going to stay out of it." If there is abuse then the grandparents should absolutely step in, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
Pamela Blue 2 years ago
It sounds to me like the lad is using weaponized incompetence to get out of doing his chores. He isn't even trying to learn, just walking away. My son was a bit like that, but I didn't fall for it, and when he moved out on his own he had to figure it all out for himself. Oh, he also did his own laundry from age 14 onward, or he didn't get clean clothes. Not every teenager is neurodivergent. Some are just jerks and try to get away with letting their parents do everything for them.
deanna woods 2 years ago
My sister and I started learning things when we were young. By the time that we were eleven, we knew how to wash the dishes and our own clothes. Learning how to do things for yourself is a part of growing up. I went over my credit card limit once and guess who paid it back. I did. This kid is never going to learn if his grandparents and parents keep bailing him out. The fact that he broke the vacuum cleaner is what has confused me the most. Vacuuming is one of the simplest chores to learn.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
He did it on purpose so he wouldn’t be asked to do it again.
Load More Replies...
Sonja 2 years ago
I wonder, who enabled him? This doesn't sound like ADHS or any other learning deficiency. This sounds like a boy who got strange values and ideas fed from somewhere and tries the weaponized incompetence trick to make others do things for him. Most likely it's the grandparents feeding him ridiculous lines and spoiling him. That boy has badly skewed values and a huge entitlement problem. I've worked with children who had learning deficiencies and they are trying so hard to learn but just can't. Sometimes they become angry and throw things in frustration when they have tried again and again with no success. But this bratty behaviour is not typical for people with learning deficiencies. He's just a brat. But this has to come from somewhere.
Erika Amelia 2 years ago (edited)
It's the old nature vs nurture. His nature takes hold and the parents' nurture just loses. It's possible his attitude didn't come from anywhere, he was born with it.
Load More Replies...
Pandroid Rebellion 2 years ago
I work with the disabled. I lobby for the non verbal because obviously they can't speak for themselves. I'm all about making sure people with different abilities are set up for success. You are still responsible for your actions even if you have ADHD. All the people throwing that out are a major part of an entitlement mentality that is growing and benefits nobody. Some people learn differently, more slowly or even choose the hard way. But I do not believe for one second he overspent and didn't realize he would have to pay it back. He will not die of credit card debt. But he won't do it again. Unless you pay it off.
Ron Baza 2 years ago (edited)
As the parent of a neurodivergent child I feel that I can safely say this: There are some absolute congenital morons replying to the OP who have confused being a brat with ADHD.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Yep, thank you! My adhd kept me in plenty of trouble as a kid but learning basic things, like laundry, aren't a struggle. Allowing your child to say, "no" when it comes to learning, laundry in this case, and then doing it for them is simply enabling a soon-to-be lazy, jerk adult. The kid will learn how to do laundry really quick when all their clothes are still soiled, their undergarments smell, and their peers aren't so stoked on their new slovenly habits.
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 2 years ago
If he had called his parents and told them he messed up and could they help him work out what went wrong, that would be one thing but wanting to be bailed out doesn't suggest neurodivergence it suggests entitlement.
Tyke 2 years ago
How does a 19 year old get a credit card with that big an overdraft on it. Doesn't it come with a limit?
Jeanette Thompson 2 years ago
Late payments + interest add up to overdrafts.
Load More Replies... Papa 2 years ago
Grandparent here. The grandparents should mind their own business. When the boy called them they should have said "This is between you and your dad, and we are going to stay out of it." If there is abuse then the grandparents should absolutely step in, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
Pamela Blue 2 years ago
It sounds to me like the lad is using weaponized incompetence to get out of doing his chores. He isn't even trying to learn, just walking away. My son was a bit like that, but I didn't fall for it, and when he moved out on his own he had to figure it all out for himself. Oh, he also did his own laundry from age 14 onward, or he didn't get clean clothes. Not every teenager is neurodivergent. Some are just jerks and try to get away with letting their parents do everything for them.
deanna woods 2 years ago
My sister and I started learning things when we were young. By the time that we were eleven, we knew how to wash the dishes and our own clothes. Learning how to do things for yourself is a part of growing up. I went over my credit card limit once and guess who paid it back. I did. This kid is never going to learn if his grandparents and parents keep bailing him out. The fact that he broke the vacuum cleaner is what has confused me the most. Vacuuming is one of the simplest chores to learn.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
He did it on purpose so he wouldn’t be asked to do it again.
Load More Replies... Sonja 2 years ago
I wonder, who enabled him? This doesn't sound like ADHS or any other learning deficiency. This sounds like a boy who got strange values and ideas fed from somewhere and tries the weaponized incompetence trick to make others do things for him. Most likely it's the grandparents feeding him ridiculous lines and spoiling him. That boy has badly skewed values and a huge entitlement problem. I've worked with children who had learning deficiencies and they are trying so hard to learn but just can't. Sometimes they become angry and throw things in frustration when they have tried again and again with no success. But this bratty behaviour is not typical for people with learning deficiencies. He's just a brat. But this has to come from somewhere.
Erika Amelia 2 years ago (edited)
It's the old nature vs nurture. His nature takes hold and the parents' nurture just loses. It's possible his attitude didn't come from anywhere, he was born with it.
Load More Replies... Pandroid Rebellion 2 years ago
I work with the disabled. I lobby for the non verbal because obviously they can't speak for themselves. I'm all about making sure people with different abilities are set up for success. You are still responsible for your actions even if you have ADHD. All the people throwing that out are a major part of an entitlement mentality that is growing and benefits nobody. Some people learn differently, more slowly or even choose the hard way. But I do not believe for one second he overspent and didn't realize he would have to pay it back. He will not die of credit card debt. But he won't do it again. Unless you pay it off.
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