Telling a little white lie to your child every now and then is certainly not a bad thing. In some cases, namely that of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind - and keep them on their best behaviour if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, fibbing is simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.

Using "alternative facts" as a parenting device, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. "Kids globalize and say, ‘My parent is a liar. Are they also lying about loving me?’" Canadian parenting expert Alyson Schafer told The Washington Post in 2015. On the importance of owning up to it, and making up for it, though, she added that “making a mistake gracefully is a really important parenting skill.”

In other words, as long as you make sure to backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.

Check out some of the funniest and most clever lies people have told their kids below, and if you still need more inspiration, you can find our previous post on this here. Also, don't forget to add yours to the list!

#1

"I've always been pretty fascinated with space. When I was a little girl, my dad would take his ladder and put it on our lawn every night, and bring my outside to tell me he put the moon up for me. I believed him for years. He passed away a few years ago,and every night when I see the moon I think of him."

Report

John L 1 year ago

She has her own personal fairy tale to remember from a loving father, long after facts reared its ugly head. :D

View more comments

#2

My mom brainwashed me as a kid. She put all of the candy out in the open and told me I could eat it whenever I wanted, but she'd hide the vegetables and tell me I could only eat them as a special treat at dinner. It worked. When I was six, I asked if I could have a bowl of Brussels sprouts for my birthday instead of a cake.

Report

John L 1 year ago

No little White Lie there. Just great marketing on the part of Mom. :D

View more comments

#3

I was told that every person gets 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can't physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." That would shut me right up.

Toastwaver Report

Kwaku 1 year ago

hahahahhahahhahhhahahaaaaaaa

View More Replies...
View more comments

#4

My dad said if I could look after a special growing rock, and watered it each day until it stopped growing I could get a dog. I'd water it and every week, while I was at school he'd replace it with a slightly bigger rock.

AppleChiaki Report

Rosa Kim 1 year ago

that is actually so fricking precious of the dad to replace the rock every week <3

View More Replies...
View more comments

#5

Parents used to tell my only brother and I that we used to have another brother who turned into a mushroom from not taking a bath. Even added him to the family albums.

Abacazam Report

John L 1 year ago

....and since nobody wants to be turned into a mushroom, Voila,.."When can I take my bath Mommy?!". :O

View more comments

#6

"If the ice cream truck is playing music it means they have run out of ice cream."

imgur Report

troufaki13 1 year ago

Cruel

View more comments

#7

We got our daughter to eat fish by calling it "Argentinian Chicken". That worked for a long time until grandma came along and f*cked it up.

effthegreen Report

John L 1 year ago

Well of course, its really either Newfoundland or Icelandic chicken. Everybody knows that. :D

View More Replies...
View more comments

#8

My grandma told us that smelling each others farts would make us stronger. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her.

pillowcurtain Report

John L 1 year ago

Grandma was a dirty minded old fart, wasn't she? LOL!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#9

My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like popeye and if i ate it i could lift the house. I would have a few spoonfulls and then she'd rush outside with me and i'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "It moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!" and i'd run back inside and finish it off.

aza9999 Report

John L 1 year ago

Quick now, is this a case of 'blatant lying', 'good marketing', or 'wonderful parental involvement'?

View More Replies...
View more comments

#10

When I was little my Dad told me that toys grew under the weeds in the yard and if I pulled them, eventually a toy would pop out. And I believed it for a long time.

Report

Alusair Alustriel 1 year ago

Especially if a toy "magically" popped up every now and then ;)

View More Replies...
View more comments

#11

My grandpa told me, when driving on the highway, that the fastest way to count all of the cows in a field is to count all the legs, and then divide by 4. It took me many, many years to figure out that my grandpa was a huge troll.

yellowfish04 Report

John L 1 year ago

He was teaching you how to be fast on your feet with addition and division. lol!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#12

My mother was a genius: She told us that brown M&M'S were only for adults, so whenever we encountered a brown M&M we would give it to her.

Sara Tardif Report

Olivia W 1 year ago

Need to tell my future kids this! The brown ones are my favourite!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#13

When I was a kid I was really interested in dinosaurs, but also afraid of them. I would have trouble going to sleep because I was worried that one might just appear and eat me, even though I knew about extinction.
My mom convinced me that the asteroid theory had been questioned, and the next likely theory was that there had been an explosion of liquid vanilla that killed them all off. She proceeded to fill a spray bottle with vanilla extract and put it in my room, and taught me to spray it in each of the corners of my room before I went to bed, saying: North, South, East, and West, dinosaurs, take a rest!
I believed that this was the only thing keeping me safe for quite a while.

willfill Report

Paul K. Johnson 1 year ago

I work at an inpatient psych facility. For the longest time we were getting meth users who many came in believing they had snakes in their hair. I think they all used the same batch because I've never heard anyone say that since. Anyway, what worked for a lot of them was when I gave them 'Snake-Killing Shampoo'. The first time I did it I thought they'd tell me I was an idiot but it worked more times than not and people would settle down.

View more comments

#14

The funniest one I heard was a father who was asked about coconuts in a store by his son. He said:
"Don't go near those son...those are bear eggs..."

werd_the_ogrecl Report

Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago

I wonder why he didn't want his kid touching the coconuts?

View More Replies...
View more comments

#15

"The door is locked because mommy was helping daddy hang a picture behind the door and we didn't want you to open it and hit us." God damn how many times you guys are hanging pictures behind the door at night.

daveed2001 Report

John L 1 year ago

Not only that, but they really did get excited about their picture hanging, didn't they?

View more comments

#16

My dad told me if I ate my spinach if get hair on my chest like Popeye. So here I was a small girl wolfing down my spinach hoping I'd get hair on my chest, when I got older and realized I wasn't supposed to get hair on my chest my dad laughed at me.

needstherapy Report

EmmaLyn Field 1 year ago

oh thats precious

View more comments

#17

My dad, a 2-3 pot a day coffee drinker , had me convinced at age 7 that you had to be 16 to buy and drink coffee. My first time at Starbucks when I was 16 I was so nervous because I thought they would card me! Lol

Report

Stijn V. 1 year ago

Kids don't need coffee anyway

View More Replies...
View more comments

#18

Babies were bought from the hospital. Women had to get really fat to prove that they could afford eating well, and therefore, afford having a baby.

sweetiepi Report

Aunt Messy 1 year ago

Until I was about six, I firmly believed that if you wanted a baby, you just went to a health unit and picked one out. Both of my siblings were adopted, and at that time, that's what you did. I distinctly remember my brother being brought out of a room and handed over to my parents.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#19

When she was small, I told my daughter that when she lied a red spot would appear on the middle of her forehead. I knew for sure it worked when she did indeed lie and then her hand went up to cover her forehead.

OwlPoop Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Very clever!

View more comments

#20

They don't sell replacement batteries for that toy.

Report

Jeremie Guerra 1 year ago

I used that one ^^

View More Replies...
View more comments

#21

My dad always told me, that if I press a certain button on our remote control our tv would explode. As I grew older, I was curious and pressed said button only to see he saved porn channels on this one

lisasavestheworld Report

Harley 1 year ago

😱😱😱😱

View More Replies...
View more comments

#22

One time when we were visiting relatives in the UK, I was playing outside and a bee got near me and I freaked out. Mom off-handedly said, 'It's OK, honey, British bees don't sting' to get me to calm down. Fast-forward ten years, when as a teenager I repeated that fact within earshot of my mom, and she said 'Who told you such a stupid thing?' You did, Mother. You did.

Olivia Belton Report

Olivia W 1 year ago

I'm British and I've never been stung by a bee. Maybe it is true.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#23

"We have to leave the zoo now. The zookeeper called my cellphone and your crying is upsetting the animals."

liesitellmykid Report

LilicatUK 1 year ago

I'm going to use that one on everyone else's kids :D

View more comments

#24

"We aren't French so you can't eat French fries from McDonalds."

Mr_Milenko Report

Sheralyn 1 year ago

This is sheer brilliance.

View more comments

#25

My father always said the animals on the side of the road were just taking a nap since the road was warm.

ThatLurkerGuy Report

Harley 1 year ago

This one makes more sense

View more comments

#26

My dad used to tell us that if we lay perfectly still in the backyard for long enough then vultures would circle us and then land to try and eat us. My brother and I would lay silently in the backyard for hours while my dad sat inside watching TV and drinking beer. Well played dad....well played.

Braden0732 Report

Greg Hoggarth 1 year ago

Why the hell did you want to be eaten by vultures?

View More Replies...
View more comments

#27

If I eat my green beans then I will turn into the Green PowerRanger when I am older. THAT NEVER HAPPENED MOM!

Kirilli Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Duh! It takes a minimum of 15 years until it happens. Stick with it!

View more comments

#28

My dad said Pulp Fiction was a documentary about oranges so that I wouldn't want to watch it.

Report

Ricky Couture 1 year ago

No, that's "Pulp Fact". "Pulp Fiction" is about a boy who travels to New York in a giant orange after his parents get eaten by elephants.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#29

My dad would never tell us what he really did for a living. He’d always say 'I used to paint the spots on dalmatian dogs, but I got really good and now I paint the spots on ladybirds.’ I believed him for a good couple of years.

victoriaj49 Report

Cassie 1 year ago

Mine always said, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you". *eyeroll*

View more comments

#30

Story time: In kindergarten a girl told me what sex was. She told me incorrectly so I had a bunch of questions. I walked up to my mom and said "mom, I know what sex is." she sort of panicked and said "ok" I responded "I just dont understand how you know when you are done?" (I am a girl and didnt understand the concept of ejaculation) so my mom looked me straight in the face and said "You set a kitchen timer."
and. she. never. f*cking. told. me. the. truth.
I found out in high school.

iwannabefreddieHg Report

Rina Bohland 1 year ago

haha ich kann nimmer

View More Replies...
View more comments

#31

My mom told my brother and I that a penguin lived behind the fridge, and if we left the door open too long we'd steal his cold and he'd get mad and come out and bite us. It worked on my brother. I asked my mom to move the fridge so I could pet the penguin.

khaelbee Report

LilicatUK 1 year ago

That'd be me too, how awesome would be to have a pet penguin!!!

View more comments

#32

The car won’t start if your seat belt isn’t on.

Report

Naima Ivansdóttir 1 year ago

this is excellent

View More Replies...
View more comments

#33

I refused to eat eggs when I was younger. The only way my mum could get me to eat them would be to draw green and purple spots on them and tell me they were dinosaur eggs. Apparently I thought dinosaur eggs were delicious.

emma-maym Report

Daria B 1 year ago

Tastes like chicken. ^_-

View more comments

#34

That if I misbehaved in the car, the car would be sad (I think I was 5 or something). Fast forward a year and I'm tearfully telling the car that I'm sorry he has to go, but I'm sure he'll be a cool plane in his next life.

Dutchdachshund Report

-- 1 year ago

aww

View more comments

#35

"I want to carry you but the doctor said your legs would stop growing if you didn't walk."

liesitellmykid Report

Josie Coffman 1 year ago

oh my gosh, brilliant

#36

"If you pee in the pool, you'll get the girls pregnant and have to get a job."

Mr_Milenko Report

Agnes Jekyll 1 year ago

We were told that a chemical had been added to the water that would make our pee go bright green

View More Replies...
View more comments

#37

As a child, I used to have the worst luck. whenever my sister and I would have froot loops, she only got a couple brown ones, and almost my whole bowl was brown froot loops!
the first time I poured my own froot loops, I actually considered that god might be real, and that he might be trying to reward me for something. I didn't get a single brown froot loop!
when I told my mom, she admitted there was no such thing as brown froot loops and that she had been giving me bowls of cheerios because I'm diabetic.

ididntknowiwascyborg Report

Leigh Kelly 1 year ago

shame sweet ..she meant well :)

View more comments

#38

I was made to believe that the city of Amsterdam was actually called Hamster Jam.

heydw Report

John L 1 year ago

That's the same place where 'wartpeckers' and 'dalmation cows' are also found living. ;D

View more comments

#39

I told both of my kids that the ice cream truck was the "music truck." It's purpose was to drive around and cheer up all the sad people.

No_Filter217 Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

That's actually a nice idea!

View more comments

#40

A trick my mom used to get us out of her hair was "You can catch a bird by putting salt on its tail". I'd spend hours running around the yard with a salt shaker, looking like a damn fool. I tried this trick on my son and he just looked at me like I was nuts

TinglyThing Report

Jay Berkman 1 year ago

When my son was six, he saw a rabbit in my parent' yard and asked how to catch it. I told him that as you put salt on a bird's tail, pepper should work on a rabbit. He grabbed a pepper shaker and ran outside, trying to get close enough to that rabbit to pepper it. He's s 37 now and still hasn't forgiven me.

View more comments

#41

My mother told me that our house wasn’t haunted because ghosts were too expensive and we couldn’t afford them.

ellien488741763 Report

SparklyCuckoo 1 year ago

I love this one!

View more comments

#42

My kids are convinced that they have a long lost brother somewhere that I dropped off because he was too loud in the car. I am sure they will figure it out but for the time being our road trips are very quiet and peaceful.

Report

Daria B 1 year ago

Heh, just make sure they don't talk about it with a "kind stranger" who might have serious concerns... ^_^"

View More Replies...
View more comments

#43

The rumble strips on the highway are for the blind drivers. Took me seven years to realize. Well played, Dad.

Anthem12891 Report

Samantha Wirral 1 year ago

I love your Dad!

View more comments

#44

When I was about six, I was obsessed with the song "Believe" by Cher and I would have it on repeat for hours at a time. We would drive nine hours from Washington to Idaho to visit family and as soon as we crossed the state line my mother would immediately change my CD to radio and tell me it was illegal to listen to anything but country music in Idaho – which I hated but she loved. I believed that shit until I was about 13.

baileykristineee Report

Shari H 1 year ago

This is why the walkman was invented.

View more comments

#45

I told my kids that if they didn't behave while waiting in the drive-thru line, they'd get a Sad Meal.

Report

meow point1 4 months ago

Still better than no meal at all.

#46

When they want something that is beyond reason, I tell them they can have it if they kiss their elbow.
My 9 and 7-year-old daughters are over it but my 5-year-old son still tries like his life depends on it.

kudzukosh Report

Olivia W 1 year ago

Luckily my left arm's bone is weird which make the arm shorter. I can kiss my elbow like it's nothing. Now where's my new house?

View more comments

#47

A friend allows her little kids to watch 1 hour of TV a day. Where their hour is up, she turns off the TV's power bar without them noticing and tells them "the TV's empty" which they believe because the remote no longer works.

10S_NE1 Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

That's pretty cool

#48

My dad used to tell me that Santa was tired of cookies and milk and that he wanted Doritos and beer. That went on for years.

Report

ADHORTATOR 1 year ago

I told my son the same story, but "our" Santa wanted Whisky :-)

View more comments

#49

I was told that the reason why I had so many nose bleeds was because I had too much blood in my body. I found out that this wasn't the case when I was 18 years old and had a nose bleed at a friend's house. My friend's mother asked me if I was OK and I told her I was fine and that I just has too much blood in my body. She couldn't stop howling with laughter.

Joseph Brennan Report

Master Markus 1 year ago

EIGHTEEN!?!?

View more comments

#50

My mom had me believe that she was 21 for the longest time, so when I was around 10 I asked 'when are you going to turn 22?'

gracefull Report

bloggergirl 1 year ago

awwwww

View more comments

#51

When I was younger I drew a picture of an alien and I gave him a butt. I showed it to my dad and he told me drawing butts was illegal, so I quickly changed it. I remember reading Captain Underpants and being so confused how the author got it past the government.

gracefull Report

Omolara Adeyemi 1 year ago

so cute

View more comments

#52

I'm Chinese. My mom told me that for every grain of rice I waste would indicate the number of "dents" on my face when I grow up.
From then on, even when I dropped a grain of rice on the floor, I would eat it. Never wasted a grain of rice ever again.

crazycat1 Report

Pei-Ying Pan 1 year ago

I was told that my future husband would have dents on his face - I have made the habit to not leave a grain behind and it's hard to change now!

View more comments

#53

My mom told my sister that they only named hurricanes after girls otherwise they would be himicanes.

Kailslaw Report

Daria B 1 year ago

When we were young, we'd joke that a specific hurricane would get a specific name becauae a lady bearing that name farted so hard, of course. (No offense to the victims, just childishness)

View more comments

#54

My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained. She believed this for far, far too long.

Brian_is_a_tit Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Well into her 50s!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#55

I dated a dude once who didn't find out until he was a teenager that you can actually eat more than one marshmallow a day. His parents told him that if you ate more than one they would expand in your stomach and kill you. I think he ate a lot of marshmallows after that.

newdz Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

I would have asked if his stomach expanded but clearly he's not with us any more. ;)

View More Replies...
View more comments

#56

My parents told us that on Christmas morning, if we looked or touched our presents before 7am then magic would make them disappear and we wouldn't get them. I believed this for far too long and even after I knew, I was still nervous to touch them incase they disappeared.

User Report

Aubrey Rae 1 year ago

Omg I do this too, only, I told them they couldn't get put of bed until the sun came up or the magic would go away and all the Christmas stuff would disappear. They are 10 & 12 now. It still works.

#57

When I was little, my FAVOURITE restaurant was this one diner. My grandmother was coming into town, so naturally I wanted to take her to the diner. I asked my dad if we could go and he said that old people weren't allowed there. Obviously I found this totally offensive so I decided to boycott the place and never went back!

Abbie Israel Report

Dhanya Munro 1 year ago

You love granny's so much! That's Sweet

View more comments

#58

I was once asked why a tree on my street was painted white. My dad said, "The government does that to show kids how far they can walk down the street without a parent."

evanj14 Report

Leoninus Fate 1 year ago

I wondered this for so long too, oddly it's for ants, so they won't climb it, my memory is shit so I don't remember fully just that ants don't like the bright of it or something and it keeps them off......weird huh

View More Replies...
View more comments

#59

When I was a kid, I asked my father what it means if your 2nd toe is longer than your big toe. His answer: "It means that your great grandmother was a woman." I was satisfied with that answer at the time, but realized it was bullshit long before I became a doctor.

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Oh Lord the things we believe lol

View more comments

#60

My mother had me convinced that you had to say "open door" in order for automatic doors to open. I didn't think I realized that they opened automatically until I was like, eight.

cjg39 Report

Marty Sunderland 1 year ago

Look how powerful you were!

View more comments

#61

Grandpa told me that there's a tube connecting my bellybutton to my butt, and that if I unscrew my bellybutton my butt will fall off.

JuRoJa Report

Benny Lava 1 year ago

And if you screw it tighter as time goes by, you will always have a nice firm butt.

View more comments

#62

"When you lie, your ears turn red." I covered my ears every time I lied.

imgur Report

meow point1 4 months ago

Lying about lying?

#63

If I didn't sit still during a haircut, the barber would cut my ear off. The worst part was that the barber would play along.

Report

Paul K. Johnson 1 year ago

I think all boys are told that.

View more comments

#64

My mother told me that my lips would turn purple if I kissed a boy. When I was in highschool I had kissed a boy at a football game and asked my friend for lipgloss to cover up the purple on my lips. She just laughed at me and I felt very embarrassed.

Twoten210 Report

Kjorn 1 year ago

awwww...

View more comments

#65

I told to my 3yr old nephew that my sister's name is Potato. It's was 10 years ago, he still calling her that at every familly gathering.

WhySoFabulous Report

Aubrey Rae 1 year ago

My kids believe my uncle's name is Uncle Buck. 10 & 12 still dont know his name is Rodney.

View more comments

#66

"If you don't read at least one book a week your brain will stop growing."

liesitellmykid Report

Ju Ju 1 year ago

That is actually true

View more comments

#67

"Don't touch that. It'll turn into spiders."

CaptainRipp Report

Naima Ivansdóttir 1 year ago

nightmare fuel here

View more comments

#68

My dad told me that I could not get a sundae because they were only sold on Sundays.

batrxsyxa Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Well now, that makes sense lol

View more comments

#69

My mother told me that the thunder was God rearranging His furniture.

sonia72quebec Report

Sheree Joubert 1 year ago

My parents would say that thunder was God bowling

View more comments

#70

Whenever my mom would fart she would blame it on the ants in the house AND I BELIEVED HER.

shermans Report

ADHORTATOR 1 year ago

Where do you live....? You must have BIG ants there!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#71

"The candy next to the checkout line are not for sale."

Qennedy Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

If only.... I hate impulsive buying!

#72

My mom's friend got tired of her kids eating her scallops when they went to restaurants, so she told them that scallops are dolphin balls.

justpickadamnname Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

But...scallops are delicious sea treats

View more comments

#73

My dad told me that the reason old TV shows and movies were in black and white was because there was no colour in the world at the time. He said colour was invented part way through filming The Wizard Of Oz which is why it starts in black and white and then switches to colour.

mabelkmc Report

Emily G 1 year ago

I assigned my students a creative writing project. They wanted to set the story in the year 2000 and then wanted to know if we had color YET back then... o.O

View More Replies...
View more comments

#74

My ex's mother told her kids that they had to make sure they watched her (the mom) at all times to make she didn't get kidnapped.
Neither of her kids ever got lost or wandered away.

Life-in-Death Report

Marty Sunderland 1 year ago

I've told my grandkids to watch and hold my hand so I wouldn't get lost. Seems less scary than kidnapped.

View more comments

#75

My mum tells my sister the Internet lady turns the Internet off at 6 pm every night.

Report

Ale Viña 1 year ago

6 is night in usa? Wow

View More Replies...
View more comments

#76

My mother once told me not to swallow apple seeds because a tree would grow in my stomach. I actually believed her for a while.

Amy Susan Fisher Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

That's a very common one.

View more comments

#77

My co-worker told her son, who is afraid of clowns, that ice cream trucks were driven by clowns. He heard that music and sprinted to his room. Evil genius of a parent.

argarlargar Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

As someone with coulrophobia, this is pure evil.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#78

The cashier forgot to put your candy in the bag! Time after time...ugh.

Totesmcgotes702 Report

Robert Morson 1 year ago

That's just mean to cashiers.

#79

Grew up in west Texas in the middle of no where with no street lights so my curfew was when it got dark. If I wasn't home before it was dark to eat dinner and get ready for bed, my mother would shout "You better get in here before the chupacabra gets you." And I would proceed to break world records running and riding my bike home and I would then "play it cool" when she saw me just briskly walking in the house. She even had me believing the sounds of cicadas was the chupacabra.

Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

I feel like I was also pushed into fear of chupacabras as a child.

View more comments

#80

Remember back in the '90s when the Gap had mannequins with no faces? Well, my parents used to tell my sister and I that if we misbehaved in the mall we would end up as one of the Gap kids with no faces.

adriannaa43fe4e474 Report

Keila Rivera 1 year ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

View more comments

#81

My mom told my younger siblings that when they tell a lie, they would grow "lie bumps" on their tongue. For years, any time she suspected they were lying, she just had to say "Let me see your tongue." Made it much easier to solve arguments where they both blamed each other.

Report

Michele Caldwell 1 year ago

My grandmother told us our tongue would turn purple if we lied. I remember arguing with her that my tongue couldn't be purple because I wasn't lying! LOL NOT that it was BS just that I wasn't lying LOL

View more comments

#82

When I was little, my mom told me Saltine crackers were called cookies. I loved ‘cookies’ and legitimately thought they were Saltine crackers for longer than I am willing to admit on the internet. One day I had a real cookie at a friend's house and knew instantly I had been hoodwinked! Luckily, my mom made delicious chocolate chip cookies to make up for the deception.

Report

Susie Saint Charles 1 year ago

I thought crackers were cookies and bananas were candy until the grandparents finally were able to make the (fairly long) trip to visit and set me straight...

View more comments

#83

Living on the West Coast, my friend would show the East Coast feed of the NYE count down to her kiddos. They were always in bed by nine. Brilliant.

komakozic Report

Linda Gulley 1 year ago

I always envied that! And all the awards shows.

View more comments

#84

My dad convinced me that our last name literally translated to 'of Caesar' and that we were direct descendant of the rulers of Rome. I felt like a badass until I started taking Latin classes in middle school.

Report

Master Markus 1 year ago

This would probably be funnier if we knew your surname.

View more comments

#85

Santa had birds that watched me 365 days a year, and every child starts with 365 presents and every time you're bad his elves throw a present in the fire....
Now I was bad but not 358 presents worth of bad.

i-am-canadian-sorry Report

kat newt shulder 8 months ago

you got a lot still...8

#86

"If you don't behave the pilot will turn the plane around!"

JoSeSc Report

Markus McCloud 1 year ago

Tell that to United Airlines! XD

View more comments

#87

My friend's dad when he was little: "Hey buddy, have you been pushing your nipples in every night?"
"W-what?"
"You haven't been pushing them in?"
"Why would I need to?!"
"You know how mommy looks different? She has boobs, right?"
"Yes..."
"And men don't. Because we push our nipples in at night. But you haven't been"
Commence panic that lasts for several months...

loldemort7 Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Haha, brilliant!

View more comments

#88

"If you just tell the truth, you won't get in trouble."

MyMostGuardedSecret Report

M. M 1 year ago

lmao

View more comments

#89

My Dad told me when I was really little that graveyards were just people farms

yusuf69 Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

halloween-awesome ! :D

#90

I was told that if a centipede counted my teeth I would die. To this day, I close my mouth when I see a centipede. I'm over 40 years old.

yeah_i_got_it Report

Filip Piękny 1 year ago

interestingly enough, i was told the same would happen if an owl counted my teeth.

View more comments

#91

As a kid my dad convinced me there was a species of mountain goat that had evolved with longer legs on one side so it could balance on steep slopes... I was a dumbass as a kid...

gordhed Report

Caroline Espenschied 1 year ago

And there are left-legged ones and right-legged ones : if you want to catch one, you just have to hide under a bush, wait until one comes your way, jump out and shout "BOOOH!" : it will get scared, turn around and fall down. You'll just have to pick it up. :-)

View more comments

#92

I told him all kid shows go to sleep at 8 just like him, and we have a timer set at 8 to turn the TV off automatically

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Good job

View more comments

#93

If you don't learn how to read, your voice disappears. This one worked surprisingly well, because my son came down with strep and it freaked him the f*ck out.

Mr_Milenko Report

#94

"If you don't wash your hands before you eat, your food will start to taste like poop."

Mr_Milenko Report

Wayne Wilson 1 year ago

My Mom tried this. My (then 12 year old) brother said the food always tasted like poop. Dad was not pleased.

View more comments

#95

That Santa uses Christmas trees as spy beacons to make sure children aren't being naughty.

Code2211 Report

Tim Graham 1 year ago

Brilliant. I'm using that this year

View more comments

#96

my mother told me i have to drink my milk everyday so i would get nice boobs....i have a D now!!
i tell my daughter she had to eat her broccoli for princess hair, carrots for my little pony eyes. she does not need big boobs i think....they just get in the way...thanks mom!

Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

That's okay as we don't need to drink milk anyway after being a baby. It's a myth to support the dairy industry.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#97

"If you don't wipe your butt properly, it'll close up and you'll have to spit out your poop."

Mr_Milenko Report

coffee zombie 1 year ago

WTF! Can't unread that now, nor unsee it in my head.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#98

My mom used to tell me that 7-Eleven wasn't open until 11am.
Missed out on many a' slurpee.

PrairieKid Report

DancingToMyself 1 year ago

She was doing you a big favor.

View more comments

#99

My kids have no concept of what coal is, so telling them Santa would leave it in their stocking was more work than it was worth. Instead I told them if they were naughty, Santa would let the reindeer poop in there.

CatPawSoup Report

Hoparduc Snowpanther 1 year ago

here we just get a bundle of sticks that the parents can beat the kids with (not physically, just in a representational way)

View more comments

#100

As a kid I put a tooth in a plastic bag and slid it under my pillow for the tooth fairy. When my parents forgot to put money under my pillow, my dad said, 'You shouldn't have put the tooth in a bag. The tooth fairy couldn't smell it.

Report

Kjorn 1 year ago

i remember one time i forgot too. i told him to put it back and the next night i change it for money and add a excuse letter from the fairy tales

View more comments

#101

My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we'd have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion.

sunnynorth Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

It's actually based on a pagan ritual and was hijacked by the church. Look up as to why the date of Easter changes so much.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#102

My dad told me oil stains on the street were little kids that got run over because they didn't hold anyone's hand while crossing the street.

Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Whoa, that's brutal!

View more comments

#103

"The brown cows weren't working today so we only have white milk."

liesitellmykid Report

Naima Ivansdóttir 1 year ago

and then this happens: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/american-chocolate-milk-brown-cows-study-us-dairy-innvoation-adults-a7793016.html

View More Replies...
View more comments

#104

"Your baby toe is the smallest because it was born last."

liesitellmykid Report

DancingToMyself 1 year ago

It should be the biggest one then.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#105

My aunt told my little cousin that after Halloween he would have to leave his bag of candy on the porch for some "Halloween spirit" to take.
She... or the spirit, would leave a gift in the mourning. So my cousin basically collected the neighbors candy to barter for some gift.

jakesyracuse Report

Grace Smith 1 year ago

GENUIS

#106

My dad convinced me it was illegal to play with a toy or game if you were not in the recommended age groups. For example, if it said, 'for ages seven and up' and I was six, then it was illegal for me to play with it.

Lilly Smith Report

#107

My father told me that pears were apples from outer space.

Report

webbkitten 1 year ago

I told my son that broccoli was little trees.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#108

When I was little my mom told me that boogers were tiny pieces of my brain and I would get more and more dumb each time I picked them.

Cats_are_just_ok Report

DancingToMyself 1 year ago

And then you are the dumbest when it's a flue season (then the brain leeks from your nose) :p

View More Replies...
View more comments

#109

My dad would tell me that I had a brother named Steve who misbehaved all the time so one day, the raccoon clan came and took him away. He spent so much time with them that he became a raccoon. I told all my friends and teachers about this until in fourth grade, it hit me.

Report

Emmie Lee 1 year ago

I wanna be a raccoon

View more comments

#110

I convinced my son that I had eyes in the back of my head so I could we him and his brother misbehaving in the back seat while I was driving, a week later he wanted to comb my hair while sitting on the back of my chair, he took a really long time so I asked why, he said he was trying to see my eyes in the back of my head, I said I'm keeping them closed so you don't scratch them with the brush! He believed this for a couple of years then figured out I could see him in the rearview mirror!

Report

1 year ago

Hey Zori, he was 5 years old, now he is 37 and owns his own glass blowing business.

View more comments

#111

When my ex-girlfriend was a kid, she had misbehaved and her dad told her he was, "only going to buy her one boob when she grew up."

LedZacclin Report

Keila Rivera 1 year ago

😂

View more comments

#112

"If you eat after 8pm you turn into a gremlin and the only way to stop the process of changing into one is to eat a vegetable."

donotclickjim Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

this is pretty true, actually.

#113

Dad convinced us he had a special button to change red lights to green. Literally didn't realize he was bullshitting until I was 12.

dracarys_dude Report

Aubrey Rae 1 year ago

My dad blew at them!!!

View More Replies...
View more comments

#114

"I believed that it was illegal to have the lights on in a moving car."

cheyenneg48b4c3b30 Report

Leah Forgy 1 year ago

Oh man, me too!

View more comments

#115

My friend's parents told him there was a big beautiful fish that lived behind the bathroom mirror, and if he used too much water, it would die.

reddit Report

Grace Smith 1 year ago

This is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!

#116

When we go on a road trip I'm going to tell my kids, "If you go to sleep, we'll take the shortcut."

YellowPudding Report

pikachu 1 year ago

i like how you are planning for the future

View more comments

#117

i forgot one...


you have to eat your dinner with fork and knife . (knife on the right)...so you can join our King (The Netherlands) for dinner one day and dont look stupid

Report

Hoparduc Snowpanther 1 year ago

my grandmother told me similar too only with King Mathias

View more comments

#118

When my son feels there was horrible unjustice done to him, and cry, because a catroon was too short, there wasnt something in the store he "needed" or just because the change of summer -winter time, I tell him I will write very angry complain to ministry of cartoons, time or whatever is needed, to let them know we can't accept such awfull conditions they put us threw. Works for several years now .

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Awwww

View more comments

#119

My mom thought it was time for my younger sister (1.5 years old) to stop using her pacifier, but my sister couldn't sleep without it. So my mom made up a story and told her that the pacifier had to go home and spend some time with it's mom too. My sister believed it and told my mom to let the pacifier go back home. From then on, she never used it again but sometimes she will ask how the pacifier is doing. WELL DONE MOM!

Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

That's actually brilliant and way less traumatic than pets "going to the farm."

View more comments

#120

I’ve told my daughter that our local pizza place’s ovens broke so we couldn’t order pizza that day.

Report

#121

Chuck E Cheese in only for birthday parties. You have to be invited to one to go there.

Imgur Report

Victoria Harmon 1 year ago

Same here. Still to this day have never stepped foot in a Chuck E Cheese

View more comments

#122

My mom told me that eating bread crusts would give me curly hair.

Ice_Burn Report

Lottie Park 1 year ago

Me too! And I do have curly hair, so it must have worked.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#123

My daughter was afraid of monsters at night, like all kids. So I gave her a potato masher and told her it was a magic stick that keeps monsters away if she sleeps with it by her pillow.

wellhushmypuppies Report

I❤️My cat 1 year ago

That's a good one peter bear!🤗

View more comments

#124

My mom showed the video of me being born in reverse and said that that's what happens to children who misbehave.

lawlsquid Report

Annemarie Elshout 1 year ago

aaaa that is more worse for the mother

View more comments

#125

Whenever the ice cream man came through my neighborhood and my father did not want to buy me ice cream, he would tell me that it was just the Beer Man and he'd let me know when the ice cream man actually was driving by. I never even realized the Beer Man was NOT a thing until I was much older.

caburrito Report

Naima Ivansdóttir 1 year ago

i wish it was true though

View More Replies...
View more comments

#126

"Sorry sweetie you can't watch any more Elmo videos, it's Elmo's bed time and he's sleeping now."

BukBasher Report

Amanda Levesque 1 year ago

lmao I use this one for my daughter

#127

That if we jumped while on a plane, the plane would keep going and we would go flying backwards and slam into the rear wall.
It worked for years and kept us sitting quietly in planes until my older brother made me try to jump.

bigredfaithful Report

#128

My mom hated swimming, so she told me she was allergic to water. At a young age I just believed her, but as I grew older, I asked her how she bathes? To which she convincingly replied "I have special medication for that." Again I believed her. Until one very hot summer's day... she finally decided to swim, to which I freak out of course, thinking she'd die!!!

Report

Sasy 1 year ago

awwwwww

#129

When I was a kid I was super sure that cats are the women of dogs...

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

They are! LMAO (just kidding)

View more comments

#130

"If you eat enough vegetables, your body makes them taste like candy."

Mr_Milenko Report

Paul K. Johnson 1 year ago

I grew up eating a lot of sugar. Much of it was served up by my parents and grandparents. Some veggies ARE very sweet. I've wondered for a long time if I wouldn't think those veggies are sweet treats if I hadn't consumed so much sugar (and still do).

View more comments

#131

My mom always asked my brother's kindergarten teacher what he had done during the day. Then, back at home, she would speak with him about these things, telling him that she had a special channel on her TV where she can watch him all day long.

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

OMG big brother always watching

#132

My mom told me that when an earthquake happened, it was because our planet was fighting with another planet. I believed that crap until second grade.

Report

#133

My friend ripped open a handwarmer, and when the powder got on his hands his parents told him his hands would disintegrate by age 30. We looked up what disintegrate meant later that night, and he bawled hysterically while staring at his hands.

Report

Grace Smith 1 year ago

Awww I wish I could of hugged you guys

#134

My mom told my sister and I that Chucky, the evil murderous doll from the Child's Play series, lived in our A/C vents to get us to stop sticking cheerios in them.
I was terrified to go near vents well into adulthood.

reddit Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Good one lol

View more comments

#135

"You can only wear your Batman costume outside on Halloween and maybe on your birthday. It says so on the tag."

liesitellmykid Report

#136

My parents said if you play with your belly-button you'll pop like a balloon and fly around the room.

Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

that was super cute and funny !

View more comments

#137

We would go blackberry picking behind our house in the summer. In order for us not to pick the green, unripe berries, my mom would tell us to only pick the dark ones because the green ones meant that a dog had peed on it.

We never touched the green ones.

Report

Kim Lorton 1 year ago

Surprisingly, snakes also like blackberries, so always watch out for them, when picking them!

View more comments

#138

My dad used to tell us amazing adventurous stories of when in 1944 he was in Klondike, fighting bears, eating wolves, living in a cave during the winter... Until we realised he was born in 1955 (oh, we live in Italy)... Amazing memories

Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

he should've written children's books :)

#139

I told my son, when I turned 34, that I went to the courthouse and had my age stopped . He gave me handmade birthday cards, wishing me a happy 34th birthday for many years. He is now older than me.

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

LMAO If only...

View more comments

#140

"Oh no this isn't Cola it's black water you wouldn't like it."

L4r4z4 Report

Kjorn 1 year ago

but why you drink it?

View More Replies...
View more comments

#141

A fart is two turds whispering to each other.

bradgsanford Report

Tim Graham 1 year ago

well, technically...

#142

I'll always remember when I had a pile of grated carrots on my plate. I didn't like carrots. I was told it was a big pile of cheese, and naive me decided to eat it. I was trolled by my own parents :(

Alex_14 Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Awwww

#143

I routinely tell this to children when they ask why the sky is blue:
"The sky is blue because we live inside the eye of a blue eyed giant named Macumba."

SOBWAW Report

Tua Lilja 1 year ago

It is known.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#144

My parents hired an actor to pretend to be a drugged out version of myself from the future to scare me away from drugs.

shodan007 Report

Phillip Hösl 1 year ago

thats from southpark ...

View more comments

#145

My mother told me that every time I lied, a piece of my tongue would fall off. She would convince me by putting a piece of meat on her finger (without me seeing), reach in my mouth and pull it out and show me. I'd cry for hours.

pandatitties Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

That is traumatising LOL

View more comments

#146

"Candy canes are the bones of rejected elves."

sethsethsethseth Report

Cheese 1 year ago

that's is super dark

View More Replies...
View more comments

#147

I told my Godchildren that my brother (who they called Uncle Fartypants) has such bad wind that he's not allowed on planes - because farting affects the air pressure and makes them crash

Report

#148

Once (ok, more than once) I forgot to play "Tooth Fairy". My daughter was so upset, and I had to come up with something quickly. I told her she was a little on the older side of loosing her teeth. The Tooth Fairy always started with the younger ones, and she must have run out of time last night.

Report

Michele Caldwell 1 year ago

I forgot a time or two as well. I told him that she had too many children to reach them all in one night and that the longer it takes for her to get to him, the more money he gets. He used to be bummed when 'she would arrive on the first night' certain he could have gotten more LOL

View more comments

#149

My dad used to say he could make the traffic lights turn green. He'd count down 3-2-1-GREEN and the light would change. It wasn't until I was older that I realized he was timing it off the light turning red for the crossroad.

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

my mum used to do this too!!!!

View more comments

#150

"Lucky Charms are for Leprechauns. If you eat too many you'll shrink and have to wear a green suit and have a red beard."

Mr_Milenko Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Awwww they aren't THAT bad lol

View more comments

#151

I was told that if I swallowed my gum, my poop would bounce up and down in the toilet. I cried every time I accidentally swallowed some.

Report

M. M 1 year ago

I remember a rumor started in kindergarten that swallowed gum gets stuck to your lungs and can't be removed.

View more comments

#152

I didn't like eating rabbit and my mother decided that I was being difficult and was having none of that. So she told me that what I had on my plate was a chicken leg. I told her it tasted really funny and she replied "That's because I cooked it without the skin". I bought it and finished it all.

grumpynutella Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

this is cruel.

View more comments

#153

My mom told me that if I get angry I will get old. Then she pointed at an old lady and said 'look at her, last week she was just the same age as you and now she’s 70 years old', so I held my anger in FOR YEARS.

chikariska Report

Jaclyn 1 year ago

Well that's not healthy.

View more comments

#154

I told a kid that the human body only has so many words until it runs out and then you die. That's why old people slur their words more, because they are running out. It's a lot of words, millions, but don't waste them when you're a child. They didn't talk for the rest of the day.

theblondereaper Report

#155

I told a kid that a car was essentially four unicycles lashed together, and there were really small people peddling at super high speed.

MushroomMountain123 Report

Jhoa 1 year ago

Off-topic, but there is actually a formation in which four unicyclists hold onto each other and cycle in unison.

View more comments

#156

To keep my sister and I busy my mom would tell us if we could kiss our elbow we would turn into the opposite sex.

iPutTheScrewNTheTuna Report

Cheese 1 year ago

darlings ❤️

View more comments

#157

If i didn't stop biting my nails they would get infected and i would have to get tiny needles in my fingers. I hated needles. Still do.

squidwillis Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

I was not introduced to clear nail varnish because I thought they only came in bright colours. My mother used clear nail varnish once and told me that her nails became so shiny because she scrubbed her hands and nails clean everytime she washed them. So I spent hours in the bathroom scrubbing and washing my hands.

#158

"You have to wear your pants because if you don't we will have to move to a different city where naked people live..."

liesitellmykid/ Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

OMGG

View more comments

#159

My mom told me that redbull was alcohol because she did not want me to drink it.

Report

M. M 1 year ago

My mom would exaggerate the danger of Redbull. She'd be like 40 kids died last month from Redbull (or Monster/other energy drinks). I was like 4 and absolutely terrified.

View more comments

#160

My Dad told me that if I take a spoonful of vinegar while closing my eyes, I can see heaven. I really believed him, so I tried it.

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyy lol

#161

I told my son that if he drank caffeine or alcohol his ears would fall off. Because he was an extremely intelligent child, I had to explain to him that children have a chemical reaction to these elements, which is why it is illegal for children to even purchase alcohol. When he was about four, his daddy gave him a Dr. Pepper and when my son found out it had caffeine he freaked out. His daddy didn't help matters by telling him his ears looked a little low. "Momma put my ears back!!"

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

I don't know about ears falling off, but okay... whatever it takes lol

#162

When i know my son is lying I am telling him that his eyes changed color and only parents can see that. Now I know when he is lying cause he is hiding his eyes.

Report

#163

My dad had my younger sister convinced for years that if she fell asleep wearing anything other than her pajamas, the Jammie Police would arrest her and take her to Jammie Jail. She believed that for far longer than anyone really should.

This is the same sister, by the way, who well into her teens believed that the turn signals in the car ran on 'blinker fluid'.

Report

#164

"Happy Meals are for poor kids who's parents can't buy them toys and they're sad."

Mr_Milenko Report

M. M 1 year ago

:/

#165

My parents got me to eat calamarie by telling me they were "Italian onion rings."

RadioGuyRob Report

Linda Gulley 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"Calamari

#166

My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats so we couldn't go to Chuck E Cheese.

hometowngypsy Report

meow point1 4 months ago

There are mice and rats there?

View More Replies...
View more comments

#167

"We can't have the dome light on in the car at night because it blinds the other drivers."

CantGoogleMe Report

Karl Henry 1 year ago

Wait is that not true? How many lies have I been living!

View more comments

#168

My mom told me girls peed out of their butts to avoid telling me about vaginas. I went to school and told the other kids before being corrected.

reddit Report

Master Markus 1 year ago

Don't try that nonsense with kids, it's too easy to falsify.

View more comments

#169

"That's not juice, it's camels blood" my sisters attempt at averting her kids attention from the expensive pomegranate juice.

espressoempress Report

#170

My parents told me that haggis were small creatures that lived on Scottish hillsides. They had tartan pelts, and the legs on one side of their body were longer than on the other so they could comfortably run around the hill. Bagpipes were made from haggis pelts, and the haggis you eat was made from minced haggis meat.

Rachel Watts Report

Peter Bear 1 year ago

But they are! Every Scot knows that. Ask one yourself about the annual Haggis hunts.

#171

Beanbags actually have badly behaved children inside them, ground up into little pieces.
Works a charm.

Freihl Report

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

Harsh!

View more comments

#172

If we were naughty she could put us in the rubbish bin and we would be taken away with all the rubbish. Worked while we were kids but became a joke as we got older.

Beoskar Report

#173

You know the myth that carrots make you see in the dark. My mother took it to another level and said you would go blind if you didn't eat carrots

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

smart! i am going to use this

#174

My mother use to make eggs for the whole family at once and season them with salt and pepper. But my sister wouldn't eat anything with pepper in out. One time get egg was sprinkled by accident with pepper o.k. the edge. Because she really didn't want to waste it my mother assured her that this was special pepper for kids. My sister was convinced and ate her egg. Years later as a teen my sister still believed there were two kinds of pepper. One for kids and one for grownups.

Report

#175

I had headache once and it was suggested I go for a walk. As I was leaving my mothers friend said "you can't wear a hat, the headache won't escape" so I took off the hat. To this day I don't wear a hat if I have headache even though I know

Report

Markus McCloud 1 year ago

Well, if you have an adjustable hat (like a baseball cap), having it too tight could exacerbate the headache, so your mother's friend wasn't entirely wrong.

#176

We lived in rural VA and my dad had me, my sister, cousins and all the neighborhood kids convinced if we stayed out after dark a "hairy monster with glowing green eyes" would eat us. One night doing dishes with my sister, a green eyed monster appeared in the kitchen window. We dropped and shattered the dishes, ran screaming for my father and cried for hours. Wouldn't believe him when he said it was just a mask

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Oh God lol

#177

Oh SO many! I used to tell my daughter that when she took baths as a toddler, she would fart then try to catch the bubbles with her teeth....also told the kids that the car wouldn't move if their seat belts weren't fastened and whenever they had a friend in the car they would always tell their friends the same thing.

Report

#178

My D.A.R.E. teacher in middle school told us if we ever smoked pot we would never be able to receive an organ transplant.

Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

Small town?

View more comments

#179

When my daughters were little I told them if you burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, you would turn them inside out.

imdickie Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You cannot physically do all those things at once though. Cos when you sneeze all your bodily functions stop including your heart.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#180

My wife's parents used to tell her that dandelions were illegal and they would get fined if she didn't remove all of them from the yard.

Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

I always got told that they were bad luck. Good thing Im not superstitious

View more comments

#181

My parents told me that if I pushed the "reset" button on the power outlet the house would explode.

Report

#182

"Burger King is for royalty."

Mr_Milenko Report

pikachu 1 year ago

I think I will tell my kids if I have any that. and that Mc Donalds are for people with Donald in their name, and KFC for people with names starting with k f or c

View more comments

#183

My mom told me that if I ate raw cookie dough I'd get worms.

Imgur Report

Caitlyn Marquez 2 weeks ago

Not worms as in the insect, but you can get worms from the raw egg, this is not a lie.

View more comments

#184

If you have the lights on in the car at night, the cops will pull us over.

DylanAlexL Report

Tim Graham 1 year ago

They actually do where I live. it's illegal.

View more comments

#185

my parents told me i was allergic to sugar and would die if i ate it. they even went and brought "alternative snacks" to my school teachers like carrot sticks and peanuts for them to stock up for me and hand out when the other kids got birthday cupcakes. not the worst thing they could have done to me, but it sucked. i totally believed them until i went to visit my aunt and realized that ice cream and m&m's were F*CKING AMAZING.

kaliforniamike Report

Jaclyn 1 year ago

That's kind of cruel... Sure sugar is bad for you, but geez let the kid enjoy life a little.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#186

My parents convinced me that if I didn't eat my broccoli then I would go bald. They used my Grandfather as an example as he was bald. Turned out he was undergoing cancer treatment. It worked though! I do love Broccoli!

Children_OfThe_Foxes Report

#187

My dad told me that there's a dead lady that crawls through little childrens' windows and kills them if they're not asleep by a certain time. My dad liked to scare the shit out of me...

reddit Report

Michele Caldwell 1 year ago

I would have been terrified to fall asleep! What if she only 'thought' I was awake and killed me in my sleep! EEK :)

View more comments

#188

"Grandpa called and he said if you don't go to bed, he is never giving you candy again. "

liesitellmykid Report

#189

When I was little, I was afraid of monsters coming into the house so my dad told me that he set up and invisible force field around the house so that when monsters got near the house, they would turn to dust.
Later, I asked him what happened when santa came to the house and he told me that he turned off the force field and the reindeers bit any monsters that got near.

Report

Kookie Clown4ever 1 year ago

Night at the museum?

View more comments

#190

When I was little I thought littLe people lived in the traffic lights and would control them. I asked my friends if the 'people' could see me.. they said yes.

Report

Victoria Harmon 1 year ago

My dad tried to do this with me. I knew there really weren't little people in them but to amuse him I played along and never told him they weren't in there. I knew he liked it when I believed him when he said something crazy like that.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#191

My grandma would point at the armored money trucks outside stores and would tell me that those are the truck that take misbehaved children away. Shit freaked me out.

SammyLocked Report

#192

My mom would threaten to trade me at the children store for a kid that looked exactly like me but behaved good.
So many years later and I only now realize how wrong that sounds... children store

PE_crafter Report

#193

"Don't grind your teeth or they'll fall out and you won't be able to eat again."

liesitellmykid Report

#194

When my brother and I would visit our Grandmother, and she didn't want us messing around with stuff in the back yard she would tell us that the Wompus Cat was gonna eat us. I think Im still scared of the dark bc of it lol.

Report

Melissa Boone 1 year ago

My grandmother said there was a wildcat in her room and to never open the door.

View more comments

#195

I was not introduced to clear nail varnish because I thought they only came in bright colours. My mother used clear nail varnish once and told me that her nails became so shiny because she scrubbed her hands and nails clean everytime she washed them. So I spent hours in the bathroom scrubbing and washing my hands.

Report

#196

My dad had me convinced that he had an instruction manual that the hospital gave him when I was born. When I wanted to do something he didn't want to do he said, "That is not in your manual."

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

Brilliant!

#197

When I was about 3 Santa came to my grandparents' house. I didn't believe it was him until my parents told me to look outside, because he was taking off in his sleigh and Rudolph was leading the way. I looked outside and saw his red nose and believed it was Rudolph. I only found out years later that it was my aunt running down the street with a pair of red underwear stretched over a flashlight.

Report

Susan Gardner 1 year ago

No way! LMAO

#198

"Everytime you lie, baby jesus gets diarrhea."

BrockDaSock Report

#199

For the longest time, I had my daughter convinced that McDonald's hash browns were made from peacocks.

BinaryPalindrome Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

To what point and purpose?

#200

The toys "are going to the repair workshop"...
The toys weren't broken and they were going to poor children >:(

sinkezie Report

Rita Maneata 1 year ago

I feel like I'd rather have the donation bit explained. That would encourage kids to share.

View More Replies...
View more comments

#201

"The dog ate the rest of your cake."

liesitellmykid Report

#202

"Everytime you pick your nose Santa takes away a present with your name on it."

liesitellmykid Report

#203

When I was younger, if I woke her up and needed medicine, she told me that to go right to sleep because with "night medicine", you have to be asleep in 15 minutes or else the medicine would not work... I believed her well into my childhood.

Report

#204

My mom told us, that the yeast in her freshly baken bread continues to grow in the warm stomach and it could burst. So we never asked to eat the bread when it was still warm. We waited until our mother told us, that it was „safe to eat“.

Report

Michele Caldwell 1 year ago

How sad! Warm, fresh baked bread is the best!

View more comments

#205

I was always told by my parents that if I ate the crusts on my sandwiches my hair would go curly. I'm 36 and I still eat all my crusts…but my hair is as poker straight as ever. 😆 Thanks Mum & Dad!

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

I didn't eat my crusts and I have ridiculously curly hair

View more comments

#206

I complained to my dad that my food has ants. He said that it will make my singing voice better and beautiful. I swallowed the ants anyway. :)

Report

#207

My dad told us we had to hold our breath when passing a cemetery or ghosts would haunt us. There were some huge cemeteries and I would almost pass out trying to hold my breath!

Report

#208

If I forgot to be tooth fairy. I told my kids they must of pulled their tooth too late in the day. And tooth fairy picked up teeth in the order they became available. So they must be on the next nights schedule.

Report

#209

My friend decided to become vegetarian at 6. Her father told her that drumsticks came from trees, so she could eat them. For years, all she ate were drumsticks.

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

SMART. I would make tonnes of excuses for my favourite food if any of my kids if I were to have some became vegetarian. my favourite food is meat

#210

I told my kid that there was a "Mommy Book" and one of the rules in it was that I had to tell them "no" thirteen times a day. Then I would say "Ask for something! I think I'm behind!"

Report

#211

My mum was a single parent and when I was very young I asked her who my Dad was. She told me I was a gift from God. For a period of my childhood I thought I was the second coming.

Report

#212

My grandma told my mom that the right boob was for white milk and the left was for chocolate milk. She believed that until she took Sex Ed in high school.

Report

Kookie Clown4ever 1 year ago

Hahaha

#213

My dad told me that pushing the seat recline button on an airplane helps the plane take off, and that if not enough people push it the plane would crash.

Report

Benicio del Pilitch 1 year ago

what a nice person to share a flight with ! :(

#214

I was told swallowing watermelon seeds would grow in my stomach.
I had a very nerve wracking couple of months waiting.

bNoaht Report

Darth Vader 1 year ago

I'm sure you questioned pregnant ladies alot LOL

#215

"Bananas are really just spider cocoons."

donotclickjim Report

pikachu 1 year ago

I would never eat bananas ever if I was told that

#216

If you don't finish your dinner, Buzz Lightyear will die.

liz-to-the-e-bitches Report

Cat Lady 1 year ago

Oooh noooo

#217

"The toy shop is not working today. Today is "the day of the week". They don't open at this day of the week."

Report

#218

My Dad used to say the hazard lights button was to eject the passenger seat so I never pushed it once he pushed I freaked out thinking I was going to eject out of the car

Report

#219

My mom said that the little brown freckles/little birthmarks came from drinking too much Cola, so i never drank it. I believed it till I was 12 years or something.

Report

Bradley Auerbach 1 year ago

Birthmarks are called BIRTHmarks for a reason: you are BORN with them!

#220

My Dad has a bald patch and hated broccoli, so my Mum told me if i didn't eat the broccoli I would have bald patch when I was older. Still think broccoli affects hair growth 10 years later.

Report

#221

My mum told me that mountain goats can only go one way round a mountain because their legs are shorted on one side. I was 13 when I blithely repeated this "fact" and she started laughing uncontrollably and confessed it was a lie her father had told her as a child.

Report

#222

I've told my son that the shower automatically stops when he is clean enough. He doesn't know about the 3 second delay after pressing the button and has never seen me press the button either

Report

#223

I told once my three year old boy that women didn't fart. Whenever he felt one was out, he always blamed daddy or another men. It lasted until he was nine!

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

how sweet

#224

My mom told me the reason she doesn't have earlobes is because she's from Mars. I was sceptical, but my brother believed her completely.

Report

pikachu 1 year ago

why doesn't she have earlobes?

#225

"If you wander off, the boogie man will kill you and make sausage out of you."
My grandmother, to me. Couldn't eat sausage until I was 13 and realized that there was no way that was true.

reddit Report

#226

"Dragonflies are called sewer bugs and they sew your mouth shut when you lie."

KittyReed Report