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Family Doesn’t Appreciate All The Household Work This Woman Does And Demands She Pays Rent, Regret It When She Moves Out Instead
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Family Doesn’t Appreciate All The Household Work This Woman Does And Demands She Pays Rent, Regret It When She Moves Out Instead

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For many adults, moving out of their parents’ house means suddenly gaining a host of new responsibilities. Paying rent, completing all of the chores and grocery shopping and furnishing an apartment can seem like monstrous tasks. But for one woman, who’s the oldest sibling of five, living on her own actually meant having more free time and less responsibilities. Below, you’ll find the full story that this woman recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit detailing how moving out on her own was a win-win, compared to staying at her parents’ place and being required to pay rent.

With how expensive housing costs have become, many adults are choosing to live with their parents longer and longer

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)

But after this woman’s parents started asking for rent, she realized it would actually make more sense to just find her own place

Image credits: FOX (not the actual photo)

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After she moved out, however, the woman’s entire family started complaining about the new responsibilities they had to take on

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: LetterheadMaterial93

Now, she’s wondering if she was wrong for choosing to move out

Whether or not adults should be charged rent in their parents’ homes is a controversial subject. Some moms and dads believe that their children will always be welcome in their homes, regardless of how old they are, while others believe that, at a certain age, rent should be required. There are also plenty of other factors that can come into play, such as whether or not the son or daughter is working, whether or not they’re a student, if they’re actively trying to save up for their own place, how much they contribute to their parents’ household and how financially stable the parents are. 

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It is not uncommon for parents to ask their adult children who live with them to pay rent

Image credits: vladans (not the actual photo)

Considering how expensive housing costs have become in recent years, though, it’s actually become increasingly common for adults to either stay at their parents’ homes or move back in with them. According to HuffPost, one quarter of all adults between the ages of 25-34 in the United States lived in multigenerational households in 2021. In 2010, however, only 9% of that age group was in the same boat. Apparently, many of these young adults were contributing to their households financially, though. In fact, Karen Fingerman, a professor in the school of human ecology at the University of Texas, Austin, told HuffPost that these sons and daughters were bringing in about 20% of the income in these multigenerational households.

Fingerman goes on to note that these adults living with their parents do not tend to be “freeloaders”, despite the stigma that may exist surrounding living at home. But approaching the topic of rent and financial expectations can be difficult for parents. It can be awkward or uncomfortable to discuss finances with our children, so it’s important to breach the subject delicately. “It’s important to not only discuss the rate but also the emotions that come up,” Fernández Paulino, financial adviser of Wealth Para Todos, told HuffPost. “The parent should be prepared to validate the emotions their adult child may have about this financial change.”

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And there are a variety of ways parents can work out a rental agreement with their kids

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

And as far as how much parents should be charging, OneFamily explains that there are a variety of ways parents can go about it. They can set an arbitrary amount, essentially just as a formality but still allowing their children to save for the future; a percentage of the adult child’s earnings; or agree on a budget split, where all members in the family are expected to contribute evenly. At the end of the day, it’s up to the parents to decide what they want their children contributing. It’s difficult to know exactly how much adults typically hand over to their parents, but according to Ideal Home UK, the average amount parents in the United Kingdom are charging their adult children is a modest £240 per month, coming in at 66% cheaper than the average median rent in England. That’s a pretty good deal! 

One point that Erin Lowry, a writer for Financial Advisor, makes on this topic is that parents can even use the rent that their adult children pay them to help them out later down the line. “Even if you don’t need the money, charging kids rent ensures responsibility and is a sort of forced savings account,” she writes. “Generous parents could return the accumulated monthly rent back to their children when they’re ready to leave.”

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But they must be sure to broach the subject delicately, as to not jeopardize their relationship

Image credits: JoPanwatD (not the actual photo)

It is perfectly reasonable for parents to expect their children to contribute to the household in the ways that they see fit, but in this specific case on Reddit, the woman was doing plenty to make her parents’ lives easier. She noted that she did the grocery shopping, the laundry, made dinners and meal-prepped and managed her younger siblings, in addition to working part-time and finishing her degree. While it is up to the parents to decide whether or not their adult children should be paying rent, they cannot be shocked that their daughter decided she would rather live on her own than add even more to the household financially.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Did your parents ever charge you rent? Or have you ever charged your own children rent? Feel free to share, and then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing whether or not parents should be charging their children rent, we recommend reading this story next! 

Readers unanimously supported the daughter in her decision to move out, assuring her that she did nothing wrong

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Author, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

Hey pandas, what do you think?
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keitho avatar
Darth Starfish
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but I guess I also just don't understand this. Her oldest brother is 20......20! So why doesn't he also pay rent as well as chores? I can understand how parents can get overwhelmed, we all can; but making your eldest the pseudo parent is never the right answer. Also, please pay rent, parent your siblings, and you also cannot have people over, even though you are a tenant and will be paying rent. Um......no thanks, peace yo!

phoenixchavez avatar
mapleporkchop avatar
Maple Porkly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this same scenario when I was 19. I worked three jobs and went to school full time. My parents insisted I pay rent for my room which was fine except they charged the same amount of what a full one bedroom apartment cost at the time. They pulled the culture card when I tried to move out as a single female (women don't move out until after marriage). The whole "what would the community think of us" bit guilted me to stay. They then reassured me that all us kids would start paying rent at that age so I felt a little better about it. I did similar chores around the house as the writer. When my brother turned 19, no rent money needed. He didn't go to school, do chores, or bother getting a job. Just lazed around the house playing video games. Second brother did similar (though he at least went the school). No rent or chores though. Wish I had more support to leave sooner. My now husband encouraged me to move out one month before we got married at 25. Big scandal in my culture.

clarissacrosson avatar
NamiKoa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your situation makes me furious and I can't believe your family got away with this crappy behavior. Sorry you had to experience this level of unfairness.

Load More Replies...
johnhuynh avatar
John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wasn't much of a question. Pay Rent to be a housekeeper for the family or pay rent to be independent.

Load More Comments
keitho avatar
Darth Starfish
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but I guess I also just don't understand this. Her oldest brother is 20......20! So why doesn't he also pay rent as well as chores? I can understand how parents can get overwhelmed, we all can; but making your eldest the pseudo parent is never the right answer. Also, please pay rent, parent your siblings, and you also cannot have people over, even though you are a tenant and will be paying rent. Um......no thanks, peace yo!

phoenixchavez avatar
mapleporkchop avatar
Maple Porkly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this same scenario when I was 19. I worked three jobs and went to school full time. My parents insisted I pay rent for my room which was fine except they charged the same amount of what a full one bedroom apartment cost at the time. They pulled the culture card when I tried to move out as a single female (women don't move out until after marriage). The whole "what would the community think of us" bit guilted me to stay. They then reassured me that all us kids would start paying rent at that age so I felt a little better about it. I did similar chores around the house as the writer. When my brother turned 19, no rent money needed. He didn't go to school, do chores, or bother getting a job. Just lazed around the house playing video games. Second brother did similar (though he at least went the school). No rent or chores though. Wish I had more support to leave sooner. My now husband encouraged me to move out one month before we got married at 25. Big scandal in my culture.

clarissacrosson avatar
NamiKoa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your situation makes me furious and I can't believe your family got away with this crappy behavior. Sorry you had to experience this level of unfairness.

Load More Replies...
johnhuynh avatar
John
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wasn't much of a question. Pay Rent to be a housekeeper for the family or pay rent to be independent.

Load More Comments
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