Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
If you’re anything like me, you take the letters written to ‘agony aunts’ in the newspaper with a pinch of salt. Some just seem too weird to be real, others just make you think “Don’t you have any friends to ask instead?”
Still, some people seem to believe that this method, asking a total stranger for advice about private matters on a public forum, is the best way forward. Take this mother for example, who wrote to ‘Dear Prudence’ an agony aunt on Slate that appears as a podcast, live chat and publication on their website.
Like many older mothers, she dreams of the pitter-patter of tiny feet returning once again to the family in the form of dear grandchildren. Feeling like she’s tried all options on the table to get her son and daughter-in-law to agree, she turns to Prudie. “How do we convince them that we only want them to be happy?” She asks.
I think it’s fair to say, Prudie is not impressed. Scroll down to see her scathing response, and tell us what you think. Do you agree with Prudie? Have any sympathy with the mother? Let us know in the comments below!
RELATED:
This letter to ‘Dear Prudence,’ an agony aunt on the magazine Slate, appeared recently and received a scathing reply from Prudie
People reacted by relating to and agreeing with Prudie’s advice
What do you think ?
Zori the degu 8 years ago
Wow. Finally someone told these people to stop, perfect, simple response. I have a similar case with my grandmother. I've told her that when I grow up I don't want to have anything to do with children. They are noisy. They are too much responsibility, they eat from your time and finances... I'm sure many people would disagree but that's how I see children. Lets not mention that I hate most children, I really do. Some are cool smart little guys but most of them are no no. So, anyway, when grandma heard me saying it, she gave me that look of hers "What!? You disagree with my views?"(yeah, she's a bit narrow-minded in my opinion.) and turned to my father, asking loudly: "You wouldn't let her not have kids, right?. He gave her an amused smile and said:"Who are we to decide, if she doesn't want kids, she won't have." I have the best parents ever. :)
Michelle Clark 8 years ago
You do have awesome parents! As a CF (childfree, which is different from childless btw) I knew at 12 I never wanted kids; for pretty much your exact reasons. My mother has always been supportive. I'm 37 now, and still feel the same way; actually it's worse because the dreamy "happily ever after" version of parenthood has been replaced by reality. Don't let anyone pressure you and remember you are NOT alone! Plenty of CF's all over the world.
Load More Replies...
Nomadus Aureus 8 years ago
Personally, I want children. One day. But what pissess me off is when people tell me, I owe it to my parents to have them. And that I'm being disrespectful by not having children, since they've had me. I don't quite remember asking them to?
Pamela24 8 years ago
I'd say I owe my parents their care...and I'd feel terrible not taking care of them in the future when/if they need me to. But having children isn't anyone else's business but yours (and your partner).
Load More Replies...
Julie Partridge 8 years ago
I was told when I was 15, that because of health conditions (I'm not sickly, just have things wrong with me) I'm a high risk pregnancy. It upset me at first, but as I got older, I decided I didn't want kids-for many reasons. I've since gotten married & my husband got a vasectomy in order to not risk getting me pregnant. Luckily, my parents have never pressed kids on me, but other people...my god. They act as though my lack of desire for children means I'm murdering all children everywhere. Even after I tell them I or the child could die, I get the "adopt" suggestion. Sure, if I really wanted to, but financially that's not a viable option right now. I just wish people understood that some people don't want to become parents.
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
I love how some people are sooooo sure that they know the truth, that they know better what is good for someone else that 1) they don't give a s**t that maybe the person can't have kids and that it could hurt her/him to talk about it. 2) they insist until they get medical information that are none of their business. 3) they act as if the person is too stupid to think of solution like adoption by her/himself.... Live your life as you want to live it with your husband. If you WANT to have kids you will find your way WHEN you want it. If you don't want kids, I'm sure you will find your way to enjoy your life together. Plus being a mother of two, I can tell you that those noisy and unsolicited good advices would not stop if you have kids ;p .
Load More Replies...
Alusair Alustriel 8 years ago
Some people like kids and want to have them, others dislike them and do not want them. I think, that we all should respect other people's choices and stop forcing our point of view on others. That is a problem affecting not only childbirth, but also several other aspects like religious marriages, partnerships with no marriage at all and many other issues. Stop thinking, that your point of view is the only accurate one. And stop telling others phrases like "When you will have a kid, you'll change your mind, I'm sure." Respect other people's boundaries. Something you want/like/approve isn't something another person will, and the world won't ever be as you like it 100%.
lisa H 8 years ago
Doesn't that sum it up?? "We should respect other people's choices and stop forcing our point of view on others." You win the internet today..
Load More Replies...
Kimberly Robinson 8 years ago
This son and his wife are the essence of patience and restraint because I would have told those prying in-laws off years ago, especially that old biddy of a mother-in-law. Even better, this man should have put his foot down and told his parents to stop butting in and badgering his wife. They're HIS parents. I realize that different families have different standards of intimacy and boundaries, but I still don't understand how any civilized person thinks it's okay to ask a couple when they are having children. Just congratulate a couple when they make a pregnancy announcement and if it never comes, then so be it. Also, since this man's parents wants little children around so badly and are also financially well off, they might consider becoming foster parents. There are kids out there without homes who could really benefit from the slavering devotion of two parents. If they would find ways to fill their own lives, they wouldn't feel a need to put pressure on their son and daughter-in-law.
Brianna LaPoint 8 years ago
or maybe his parents should have another child rather than bothering their son about it/.
Load More Replies...
Fernando Jones 8 years ago
Do what my spouse did when his parents kept badgering him about having children... marry a man. hahaha.
Dawn Ladislas 8 years ago
Not everyone wants kids. The fact that the MIL told the DIL 'you don't have to work" tells me everything there, basically she thinks the role of women is to reproduce, and nothing else. Very offensive because many women aspired to be more than just a stay at home mother.
TheKnightOwl 8 years ago
That last comment about children being like cats is spot on. In regards to the subject matter, when your kids turn into adults, they make their own decisions. You job is done. My mum asked when we were having number three to the point where when I did get pregnant again, I didn't want to tell her.
Zori the degu 8 years ago
Wow. Finally someone told these people to stop, perfect, simple response. I have a similar case with my grandmother. I've told her that when I grow up I don't want to have anything to do with children. They are noisy. They are too much responsibility, they eat from your time and finances... I'm sure many people would disagree but that's how I see children. Lets not mention that I hate most children, I really do. Some are cool smart little guys but most of them are no no. So, anyway, when grandma heard me saying it, she gave me that look of hers "What!? You disagree with my views?"(yeah, she's a bit narrow-minded in my opinion.) and turned to my father, asking loudly: "You wouldn't let her not have kids, right?. He gave her an amused smile and said:"Who are we to decide, if she doesn't want kids, she won't have." I have the best parents ever. :)
Michelle Clark 8 years ago
You do have awesome parents! As a CF (childfree, which is different from childless btw) I knew at 12 I never wanted kids; for pretty much your exact reasons. My mother has always been supportive. I'm 37 now, and still feel the same way; actually it's worse because the dreamy "happily ever after" version of parenthood has been replaced by reality. Don't let anyone pressure you and remember you are NOT alone! Plenty of CF's all over the world.
Load More Replies... Nomadus Aureus 8 years ago
Personally, I want children. One day. But what pissess me off is when people tell me, I owe it to my parents to have them. And that I'm being disrespectful by not having children, since they've had me. I don't quite remember asking them to?
Pamela24 8 years ago
I'd say I owe my parents their care...and I'd feel terrible not taking care of them in the future when/if they need me to. But having children isn't anyone else's business but yours (and your partner).
Load More Replies... Julie Partridge 8 years ago
I was told when I was 15, that because of health conditions (I'm not sickly, just have things wrong with me) I'm a high risk pregnancy. It upset me at first, but as I got older, I decided I didn't want kids-for many reasons. I've since gotten married & my husband got a vasectomy in order to not risk getting me pregnant. Luckily, my parents have never pressed kids on me, but other people...my god. They act as though my lack of desire for children means I'm murdering all children everywhere. Even after I tell them I or the child could die, I get the "adopt" suggestion. Sure, if I really wanted to, but financially that's not a viable option right now. I just wish people understood that some people don't want to become parents.
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
I love how some people are sooooo sure that they know the truth, that they know better what is good for someone else that 1) they don't give a s**t that maybe the person can't have kids and that it could hurt her/him to talk about it. 2) they insist until they get medical information that are none of their business. 3) they act as if the person is too stupid to think of solution like adoption by her/himself.... Live your life as you want to live it with your husband. If you WANT to have kids you will find your way WHEN you want it. If you don't want kids, I'm sure you will find your way to enjoy your life together. Plus being a mother of two, I can tell you that those noisy and unsolicited good advices would not stop if you have kids ;p .
Load More Replies... Alusair Alustriel 8 years ago
Some people like kids and want to have them, others dislike them and do not want them. I think, that we all should respect other people's choices and stop forcing our point of view on others. That is a problem affecting not only childbirth, but also several other aspects like religious marriages, partnerships with no marriage at all and many other issues. Stop thinking, that your point of view is the only accurate one. And stop telling others phrases like "When you will have a kid, you'll change your mind, I'm sure." Respect other people's boundaries. Something you want/like/approve isn't something another person will, and the world won't ever be as you like it 100%.
lisa H 8 years ago
Doesn't that sum it up?? "We should respect other people's choices and stop forcing our point of view on others." You win the internet today..
Load More Replies... Kimberly Robinson 8 years ago
This son and his wife are the essence of patience and restraint because I would have told those prying in-laws off years ago, especially that old biddy of a mother-in-law. Even better, this man should have put his foot down and told his parents to stop butting in and badgering his wife. They're HIS parents. I realize that different families have different standards of intimacy and boundaries, but I still don't understand how any civilized person thinks it's okay to ask a couple when they are having children. Just congratulate a couple when they make a pregnancy announcement and if it never comes, then so be it. Also, since this man's parents wants little children around so badly and are also financially well off, they might consider becoming foster parents. There are kids out there without homes who could really benefit from the slavering devotion of two parents. If they would find ways to fill their own lives, they wouldn't feel a need to put pressure on their son and daughter-in-law.
Brianna LaPoint 8 years ago
or maybe his parents should have another child rather than bothering their son about it/.
Load More Replies... Fernando Jones 8 years ago
Do what my spouse did when his parents kept badgering him about having children... marry a man. hahaha.
Dawn Ladislas 8 years ago
Not everyone wants kids. The fact that the MIL told the DIL 'you don't have to work" tells me everything there, basically she thinks the role of women is to reproduce, and nothing else. Very offensive because many women aspired to be more than just a stay at home mother.
TheKnightOwl 8 years ago
That last comment about children being like cats is spot on. In regards to the subject matter, when your kids turn into adults, they make their own decisions. You job is done. My mum asked when we were having number three to the point where when I did get pregnant again, I didn't want to tell her.
Related on Bored Panda
431
192