0submissions
Finished
Old Friend Suddenly Decides I Owe Her A Commission For Making A Recommendation That I Hired A Mutual.friend From Our Childhood.
This AITA question involves 3 people who were all friends and acquaintances as children and we have all come back into contact as adults.
As children all 3 of us were in the same horse club and rode horses at farms that were located closely together and often competed together within the same organization. After college and getting settled into a job and moving to a very rural area I have returned to my sport on a very casual level just for fun and bought a young horse. I had been out of the sport for a while and needed to hire a horse trainer to work with my young horse for some specific issues she was having. I found a place to board her at a farm in the state where i had grown up. (There really isn't anyone near to my home that could provide that service) At around the same time I got back in touch with the first of the other 2 women I will nick name "Kay". Kay had also been out of horse sports for many years but still loved them and was struggling in a difficult situation being a primary care giver to her mother (who is an incredibly lovely woman) and who had become very ill with alzheimers and dementia. I was concerned for her because she was unhappy and under a lot of stress because although she adores her mom, it is a tremendous amount of work tand is very isolating to be the sole caretaker of a person who is that ill at home.
As I was now spending time close to my home town, and we reconnected, we started communicating extensively and often. She mentioned that she would love to have contact with horses again so I began inviting both her and her mom for outings and visits at the horse farm where I had placed my horse. I introduced them to everyone, Kay made some new friends, was able to get out of the house and spend time with the animals she loved. Before long she was considered part of the community and the farm owner even provided her with one of their retired horses for her use at no charge.
About this time, "Kay" recommended I get in touch with another of childhood friends to help with my horses training. I will call the other friend "Dee". Dee has stuck with the sport of horses through college, inherited her family's farm, and became a professional trainer and instructor. Kay had kept in touch with Dee and they had become close friends. Kay passed on Dee's current phone number on to me, I called her, we reconnected and she agreed to work with my horse.
Dee did an amazing job solving the issues my horse had and it was a wild success!! Around that time I also got incredibly busy with work, got divorced, and ended up with custody of my children. -All of that meant I had very little time to go to the barn, ride, and meet the needs of my horse. I was considering selling her because it seemed a better option for the horse. (They do need love and regular contact!) I again asked d
Dee for her help because as an industry professional she had contact with many farms and many people who would give her a good home. At that time I expected to pay for Dee's services as a trainer AND a sale broker, and we made an agreement fpr her services.
As it turned out, my horse did not end up being sold but Dee did find an outstanding situation for her where she is loved and valued and has several beautiful and talented young women to ride her. My little horse is so happy at the new farm and loves the kids and her job as the horse they compete with. She is so well taken care of and I didn't have to sell her to make sure she is well cared for, and I can begin riding her again when my life allows me to have time and energy for her again. (I will probably still opt to share her with the girls that are currently riding her because they are very bonded by now and everyone is happy.
Dee did an amazing job with the training and the placement and I paid the commission she would have earned if the horse was actually sold, because she solved the behavior issues, and finding her such a wonderful placement was the same type of work that would have been involved if it had ended in a sale.
Here is the AITA question. The night before last, late at night, Kay contacted me and sent many angry texts requesting that I pay her for putting Dee and I in contact. She claimed that SHE is the reason that all of this ended so well for everyone and I was stiffing her by not having paid her "her commission". To be clear, Kay did not participate in any way with the horses training and did not know anyone at the farm where Dee arranged her placement and where she currently lives. She sent several texts that became increasingly angry and accusatory about me being dishonest and a cheat.
Of course I responded and said that I was concerned that she felt that way and that as an old friend I wanted to make this right, but I did not recall any financial agreement between us about me paying her for re-introducing Dee and I... and that many people simply introduce professionals who can help friends. I said that I found it very odd that she is coming back at this point and asking for a commission on a transaction that really didn't involve her... she became more angry and said that none of those good things would have happened without her and she should be compensated or I was being incredibly unfair to her. Again I responded that I didn't remember any financial arrangement between us for the recommendation, that I also knew Dee from our childhood and if she recalled, I had introduced to the farm and and set up brand new contacts for her with everyone there because I knew it would bring her happiness... and of course I had done that without any thought of compensation... and all the good things that came from that introduction was simply what happened when good people are put in touch and begin working together.
The conversation ended with her saying she didn't care anymore but I was a dishonest person and a cheat for not taking care of her as part of the overall transaction. I left it at that but I am sad about this and would never want to cheat anyone but I don't think she is due any kind of a commission and also feel she is trying to manipulate and extort me... :(
AITA??
This post may include affiliate links.
