Woman Called A “Greedy Witch” For Making 3 Kids Cry Over Being Denied Free Holiday To Italy
Normally, when a person gets divorced, they aren’t constantly being contacted by their ex’s new partner. For the most part, people prefer to keep boundaries in place and just move on with their lives. But a select few, out of delusion, desperation, or just plain old entitlement not only keep in touch but start making demands.
A woman wondered if she was wrong for refusing to take her ex-husband’s three kids on a family trip to Italy. The ex’s wife, whom he cheated on OP with, would not take no for an answer and decided to employ every scummy and low strategy in the book to get her to comply.
Generally, most people prefer to avoid their exes and, by extension, their families
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
But one woman had to repeatedly tell her ex-husband that she would not take his kids on vacation
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Specific-Papaya3577
Shared custody can be full of pitfalls
In general, OP has been trying to do the right thing. With the two, “shared” kids, joint custody tends to be the best option, unless one of the parents is downright abusive or dangerous. Research suggests that children who go through shared custody tend to do better than kids of single parents in nearly every single sphere, from mental health to academic success.
However, the findings aren’t all uniform. Certain studies suggest that co-parenting only brings these benefits when both parents actually like each other. We don’t know that much about this relationship, but the ex did cheat on OP, and she does seem to have some boundaries, so it’s unlikely that they are best friends.
At the same time, the couple does have to navigate some pretty complicated boundaries. A lot has to be done on trust since there are fewer legal obligations. However, it’s surprising that OP has the amount of contact she does, given that her ex is with the woman she cheated on her with. People will compromise on quite a bit for their kids, which is generally an admirable thing.
It can be hard to navigate the ex’s new partner’s motivations
Grace is one thing, going full no contact with this person would probably be seen as acceptable by most of the population. Instead, OP is taking the time to allow these kids and hers to be half-siblings and contact their father. The fact that she is doing the right thing seems to have slipped past the other woman.
There is a cynical possibility that this woman is actively trying to remove OP from her husband’s life. After all, OP is successful, this man’s first partner, and appears to be a good and desirable person. Deep down, past all the delusion, anyone who helps someone cheat must know that they could be cheated on next.
Entitled people often end up ruining things for themselves
However, this is probably reading too much into a much more common malaise, entitlement. Some people, with little to no evidence, simply assume they have a right to demand things that are not theirs. For example, asking OP to pay for (and look after) three more kids, just because, well, this couple has decided it makes sense.
On top of this, as shared in OP’s update (which can be found below) the mother started to use some serious manipulation tactics. If the situation were different, we would perhaps applaud a mom going above and beyond to get her kids a cool experience, but instead, she is basically removing their one source of cool Christmas presents.
Given the fact that most courts don’t look kindly on cheaters, OP’s threat to litigate likely has some teeth, plus the fact that she can actually afford the expenses of lawyering up and dragging things out in a legal battle. As she herself says below, her ex needs to work out something soon, or OP will cut contact.
Most people sided with OP and she answered a few questions
Image credits: romankosolapov (not the actual photo)
Later, OP shared a somewhat shocking update
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Specific-Papaya3577
Commenters shared some words of support for OP
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Apart from anything else addressed in this thread, wtf are they having a fourth child if they can't afford the three they already have?
What I don't get is that nobody mentions she's used to having two kids, but suddenly travelling with five is a whole different ballgame. You're totally outnumbered; any little or big thing happens it's total chaos.
Exactly my thought. One adult with 3 kids plus twins, luggage, in a strange country is just ridiculous. Especially given their ages too - even the best behaved 5 year olds are a handful.
Load More Replies...It’s how they make money and pay their staff :) websites like this are a lot of work to run and they can’t do all that work for free just for our entertainment! It’s also how they keep the site free for us to use. I know it’s annoying but, just like any other website, just ignore the ads :) (just a tip, I use BoredPanda on a browser - NOT the app - and I found having an adblocker on resulted in tons of pop ups from BP asking me to disable my adblocker. Once I disabled it, the pop-ups went away, now it’s just easily-ignorable ads to scroll past. It’s like the one website that is more convenient to use WITHOUT an adblocker lol)
Load More Replies...OP is way nicer than I would have been, cheater's kids wouldn't have been getting gifts from me, I don't care how little money cheater and hoe make. If ya can't afford 5 kids, don't have 5 kids cheater-man. (Can you tell I'm newly divorced from a cheater? Oopsie!)
At least mine cheated with a man. No babies from that.
Load More Replies...Did people seriously need the explanation as to if his new wife is his old sidepiece? Each woman has a child the same age. Come on, people.
Good lord, some people. The only kids acting like entitled and spoiled brats are his kids for 'demanding' expensive gifts and demanding that they go on that holiday. She needs to limit the time spent with those children. Why on earth do they think they are just as entitled as her kids when it's their own parents that must provide for them. They are not teaching them any life skills by implying that his ex-wife should pay their way in life as well.
The kids arent the ones demanding to go. The ex and his mistress wife are. The kids were lied to by the mistress wife about going.
Load More Replies...I’d consider going back to court, requesting for full time custody, with visitation/meeting rights on weekends to father. Otherwise it will be messing kids up all the time. As I understood kids are already having difficulties understanding dynamics, and visiting therapy because of it. AND communication with “new family” exclusively via attorney.
OP has been waaaaay nicer to the cheater + former mistress than I would ever be.
Honestly, I don't think it's the other children who are resentful and jealous, I think it's just the ex and his current wife. He must kick himself to sleep every night, now knowing exactly what he threw away for a few minutes in the sack with someone else. Really and truly it's all on him, the broken home, broken marriage and shoddy behaviour of himself and his current family.
OP is way too nice to her cheating ex and his (former) mistress, now wife. Time for a disconnect from them. It will be difficult for the children, but the ex is a jerk and his wife is worse. Now about OP's mother and brother, if they think the ex's children should go to Italy to visit OP's father's family (who they are not related to and don't know), let the mother and brother pay for their trip.
I can't believe she gives them Christmas presents. They aren't related to her. Not her problem. I can't think of a single reason to take someone else's kids on vacation.
This folks. Is called gaslighting. Sounds like the mistress is just as much of a p.o.s. as the scumbag father.
OP mentions the woman the ex cheated with was a "homewrecker." I've never understood why the other person is blamed in cheating situations. The cheating spouse is to blame, not necessarily the person with whom s/he is cheating. Sometimes the other person doesn't even know about the marriage.
If I were OP, I'd contact my lawyer to see if I could have paperwork drawn up that specifies I only have to deal with my cheater ex-hubs re: the kids and not see-you-next-tuesday.
I manage a fundation that helps cats and we work with foster families. Few years ago, a foster told us they wanted tokeep the cat they had and it was not a problem at first, but few weeks later, the cat was sick and they ask us to pay for the vet. We helped a little but the cat needed more help and they asked again. When we told them they adopted the cat and we had enough to pay for abandoned cats outside, they stopped all the needs for the cat and refuse to go back to the vet and pay what they had to already. The vet told us and we decided to take back the cat. We explained to the foster (who were no longer fostering of course) and planned to come to her house when she wanted. We went on her garden and she immediately called her 2 young kids (around 4/7yo). She looked me in the eyes and told me "go tell them you want to take their loving cat forever".
Ok no problem, I'm a teacher so I bend over, took the children's hand an explain to them in a very calming voice that their cat was very ill and they could see it. They nodded. I add their parents couldn't take care of their cat because it was very expensive. They nodded. So I asked "do you agree we take back your cat to save him and find him a new home whith people who will take care of him ?" They nodded again. The youngest told her mom to save her cat, and the oldest took our box and came back with the cat himself. The mom was pissed AF ! When the children went back to the house, I told her she was a bad mother to use her kids to try and manipulate us, and I hoped she learnt her lesson. The cat has been saved and adopted in a very nice family who accepted they would need to pay some vet control from time to time. Don't weaponised your children with me or I'l fight back hard on you !
Load More Replies...Every time I see a "god will punish you" I know the kind of person I'm dealing with... *Insert Theoden's you have no power here meme*
It sounds rough, but OP has already let them tread the boundaries by her getting the mistresses kids presents for birthdays and Xmas. I realize she feels it keeps the peace, but it breached the boundaries and now her ex has expectations she MUST do such things. The Italy vacation is just the next step up in his entitlement, that his "old" wife should also be responsible for his kids, despite having a "new" wife. Because that's what women are for, right? The kids and nothing more. I would be reestablishing some stern boundaries if I were OP, and also I would go to court and force them to use a moderated app for all communication, and block the mistress entirely. She doesn't need to communicate with the side piece to handle her own 2 kids business with her ex.
The only acceptable thing the ex husband could have asked was to bring the older kid (the 9 yo one) with her paying for him. I guess this people are american so: how can you f*****g imagine to send two 5yo alone on the other side of the planet?!?!?! What a s****y mother. A s****y woman for breaking families and a s****y mother for not being slightly worried about such young kids. Don't go on vacation, use the money to pay for the 9yo one, IF op agrees to take him with her. The husband...when she wrote "he's a great father" I was like...is he? 'cause he got two women pregnant at the same time thinking only about his d and not the kids, the one he already had and the one who was coming. And now he keeps all his new family in this misery of constant reproducing without the money to provide for them. What a piece of s**t of a man.
The other children are really too young to understand what going on vacation to Italy really entails (a 5 y/o so excited?). I bet Mom got them all excited to go so she could have a few weeks without kids. I think you would be above extraordinarily nice to take them to an amusement park with your kids, much less a foreign country! I hope your ex's wife will now understand your boundaries are not to be trampled on.
Unfortunately for those kids they are being raised to be ungrateful for what they have and resentful for what they don't have. This will not serve them well in the real world. OP is definitely NTA
Apart from anything else addressed in this thread, wtf are they having a fourth child if they can't afford the three they already have?
What I don't get is that nobody mentions she's used to having two kids, but suddenly travelling with five is a whole different ballgame. You're totally outnumbered; any little or big thing happens it's total chaos.
Exactly my thought. One adult with 3 kids plus twins, luggage, in a strange country is just ridiculous. Especially given their ages too - even the best behaved 5 year olds are a handful.
Load More Replies...It’s how they make money and pay their staff :) websites like this are a lot of work to run and they can’t do all that work for free just for our entertainment! It’s also how they keep the site free for us to use. I know it’s annoying but, just like any other website, just ignore the ads :) (just a tip, I use BoredPanda on a browser - NOT the app - and I found having an adblocker on resulted in tons of pop ups from BP asking me to disable my adblocker. Once I disabled it, the pop-ups went away, now it’s just easily-ignorable ads to scroll past. It’s like the one website that is more convenient to use WITHOUT an adblocker lol)
Load More Replies...OP is way nicer than I would have been, cheater's kids wouldn't have been getting gifts from me, I don't care how little money cheater and hoe make. If ya can't afford 5 kids, don't have 5 kids cheater-man. (Can you tell I'm newly divorced from a cheater? Oopsie!)
At least mine cheated with a man. No babies from that.
Load More Replies...Did people seriously need the explanation as to if his new wife is his old sidepiece? Each woman has a child the same age. Come on, people.
Good lord, some people. The only kids acting like entitled and spoiled brats are his kids for 'demanding' expensive gifts and demanding that they go on that holiday. She needs to limit the time spent with those children. Why on earth do they think they are just as entitled as her kids when it's their own parents that must provide for them. They are not teaching them any life skills by implying that his ex-wife should pay their way in life as well.
The kids arent the ones demanding to go. The ex and his mistress wife are. The kids were lied to by the mistress wife about going.
Load More Replies...I’d consider going back to court, requesting for full time custody, with visitation/meeting rights on weekends to father. Otherwise it will be messing kids up all the time. As I understood kids are already having difficulties understanding dynamics, and visiting therapy because of it. AND communication with “new family” exclusively via attorney.
OP has been waaaaay nicer to the cheater + former mistress than I would ever be.
Honestly, I don't think it's the other children who are resentful and jealous, I think it's just the ex and his current wife. He must kick himself to sleep every night, now knowing exactly what he threw away for a few minutes in the sack with someone else. Really and truly it's all on him, the broken home, broken marriage and shoddy behaviour of himself and his current family.
OP is way too nice to her cheating ex and his (former) mistress, now wife. Time for a disconnect from them. It will be difficult for the children, but the ex is a jerk and his wife is worse. Now about OP's mother and brother, if they think the ex's children should go to Italy to visit OP's father's family (who they are not related to and don't know), let the mother and brother pay for their trip.
I can't believe she gives them Christmas presents. They aren't related to her. Not her problem. I can't think of a single reason to take someone else's kids on vacation.
This folks. Is called gaslighting. Sounds like the mistress is just as much of a p.o.s. as the scumbag father.
OP mentions the woman the ex cheated with was a "homewrecker." I've never understood why the other person is blamed in cheating situations. The cheating spouse is to blame, not necessarily the person with whom s/he is cheating. Sometimes the other person doesn't even know about the marriage.
If I were OP, I'd contact my lawyer to see if I could have paperwork drawn up that specifies I only have to deal with my cheater ex-hubs re: the kids and not see-you-next-tuesday.
I manage a fundation that helps cats and we work with foster families. Few years ago, a foster told us they wanted tokeep the cat they had and it was not a problem at first, but few weeks later, the cat was sick and they ask us to pay for the vet. We helped a little but the cat needed more help and they asked again. When we told them they adopted the cat and we had enough to pay for abandoned cats outside, they stopped all the needs for the cat and refuse to go back to the vet and pay what they had to already. The vet told us and we decided to take back the cat. We explained to the foster (who were no longer fostering of course) and planned to come to her house when she wanted. We went on her garden and she immediately called her 2 young kids (around 4/7yo). She looked me in the eyes and told me "go tell them you want to take their loving cat forever".
Ok no problem, I'm a teacher so I bend over, took the children's hand an explain to them in a very calming voice that their cat was very ill and they could see it. They nodded. I add their parents couldn't take care of their cat because it was very expensive. They nodded. So I asked "do you agree we take back your cat to save him and find him a new home whith people who will take care of him ?" They nodded again. The youngest told her mom to save her cat, and the oldest took our box and came back with the cat himself. The mom was pissed AF ! When the children went back to the house, I told her she was a bad mother to use her kids to try and manipulate us, and I hoped she learnt her lesson. The cat has been saved and adopted in a very nice family who accepted they would need to pay some vet control from time to time. Don't weaponised your children with me or I'l fight back hard on you !
Load More Replies...Every time I see a "god will punish you" I know the kind of person I'm dealing with... *Insert Theoden's you have no power here meme*
It sounds rough, but OP has already let them tread the boundaries by her getting the mistresses kids presents for birthdays and Xmas. I realize she feels it keeps the peace, but it breached the boundaries and now her ex has expectations she MUST do such things. The Italy vacation is just the next step up in his entitlement, that his "old" wife should also be responsible for his kids, despite having a "new" wife. Because that's what women are for, right? The kids and nothing more. I would be reestablishing some stern boundaries if I were OP, and also I would go to court and force them to use a moderated app for all communication, and block the mistress entirely. She doesn't need to communicate with the side piece to handle her own 2 kids business with her ex.
The only acceptable thing the ex husband could have asked was to bring the older kid (the 9 yo one) with her paying for him. I guess this people are american so: how can you f*****g imagine to send two 5yo alone on the other side of the planet?!?!?! What a s****y mother. A s****y woman for breaking families and a s****y mother for not being slightly worried about such young kids. Don't go on vacation, use the money to pay for the 9yo one, IF op agrees to take him with her. The husband...when she wrote "he's a great father" I was like...is he? 'cause he got two women pregnant at the same time thinking only about his d and not the kids, the one he already had and the one who was coming. And now he keeps all his new family in this misery of constant reproducing without the money to provide for them. What a piece of s**t of a man.
The other children are really too young to understand what going on vacation to Italy really entails (a 5 y/o so excited?). I bet Mom got them all excited to go so she could have a few weeks without kids. I think you would be above extraordinarily nice to take them to an amusement park with your kids, much less a foreign country! I hope your ex's wife will now understand your boundaries are not to be trampled on.
Unfortunately for those kids they are being raised to be ungrateful for what they have and resentful for what they don't have. This will not serve them well in the real world. OP is definitely NTA







































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