Woman Called A “Greedy Witch” For Making 3 Kids Cry Over Being Denied Free Holiday To Italy
Normally, when a person gets divorced, they aren’t constantly being contacted by their ex’s new partner. For the most part, people prefer to keep boundaries in place and just move on with their lives. But a select few, out of delusion, desperation, or just plain old entitlement not only keep in touch but start making demands.
A woman wondered if she was wrong for refusing to take her ex-husband’s three kids on a family trip to Italy. The ex’s wife, whom he cheated on OP with, would not take no for an answer and decided to employ every scummy and low strategy in the book to get her to comply.
Generally, most people prefer to avoid their exes and, by extension, their families
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
But one woman had to repeatedly tell her ex-husband that she would not take his kids on vacation
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Specific-Papaya3577
Shared custody can be full of pitfalls
In general, OP has been trying to do the right thing. With the two, “shared” kids, joint custody tends to be the best option, unless one of the parents is downright abusive or dangerous. Research suggests that children who go through shared custody tend to do better than kids of single parents in nearly every single sphere, from mental health to academic success.
However, the findings aren’t all uniform. Certain studies suggest that co-parenting only brings these benefits when both parents actually like each other. We don’t know that much about this relationship, but the ex did cheat on OP, and she does seem to have some boundaries, so it’s unlikely that they are best friends.
At the same time, the couple does have to navigate some pretty complicated boundaries. A lot has to be done on trust since there are fewer legal obligations. However, it’s surprising that OP has the amount of contact she does, given that her ex is with the woman she cheated on her with. People will compromise on quite a bit for their kids, which is generally an admirable thing.
It can be hard to navigate the ex’s new partner’s motivations
Grace is one thing, going full no contact with this person would probably be seen as acceptable by most of the population. Instead, OP is taking the time to allow these kids and hers to be half-siblings and contact their father. The fact that she is doing the right thing seems to have slipped past the other woman.
There is a cynical possibility that this woman is actively trying to remove OP from her husband’s life. After all, OP is successful, this man’s first partner, and appears to be a good and desirable person. Deep down, past all the delusion, anyone who helps someone cheat must know that they could be cheated on next.
Entitled people often end up ruining things for themselves
However, this is probably reading too much into a much more common malaise, entitlement. Some people, with little to no evidence, simply assume they have a right to demand things that are not theirs. For example, asking OP to pay for (and look after) three more kids, just because, well, this couple has decided it makes sense.
On top of this, as shared in OP’s update (which can be found below) the mother started to use some serious manipulation tactics. If the situation were different, we would perhaps applaud a mom going above and beyond to get her kids a cool experience, but instead, she is basically removing their one source of cool Christmas presents.
Given the fact that most courts don’t look kindly on cheaters, OP’s threat to litigate likely has some teeth, plus the fact that she can actually afford the expenses of lawyering up and dragging things out in a legal battle. As she herself says below, her ex needs to work out something soon, or OP will cut contact.
Most people sided with OP and she answered a few questions
Image credits: romankosolapov (not the actual photo)
Later, OP shared a somewhat shocking update
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Specific-Papaya3577
Commenters shared some words of support for OP
What I don't get is that nobody mentions she's used to having two kids, but suddenly travelling with five is a whole different ballgame. You're totally outnumbered; any little or big thing happens it's total chaos.
Exactly my thought. One adult with 3 kids plus twins, luggage, in a strange country is just ridiculous. Especially given their ages too - even the best behaved 5 year olds are a handful.
Load More Replies...Apart from anything else addressed in this thread, wtf are they having a fourth child if they can't afford the three they already have?
The second the new wife came with the god number, it would be over for me. And then she tops it with lying to her own kids. What kind of person does that? Guy had a good person as a wife, and rather goes with that? Well, he got what he deserved. Loved how OP blew up and ripped him a new one - finally.
It’s how they make money and pay their staff :) websites like this are a lot of work to run and they can’t do all that work for free just for our entertainment! It’s also how they keep the site free for us to use. I know it’s annoying but, just like any other website, just ignore the ads :) (just a tip, I use BoredPanda on a browser - NOT the app - and I found having an adblocker on resulted in tons of pop ups from BP asking me to disable my adblocker. Once I disabled it, the pop-ups went away, now it’s just easily-ignorable ads to scroll past. It’s like the one website that is more convenient to use WITHOUT an adblocker lol)
Load More Replies...OP is way nicer than I would have been, cheater's kids wouldn't have been getting gifts from me, I don't care how little money cheater and hoe make. If ya can't afford 5 kids, don't have 5 kids cheater-man. (Can you tell I'm newly divorced from a cheater? Oopsie!)
Did people seriously need the explanation as to if his new wife is his old sidepiece? Each woman has a child the same age. Come on, people.
Good lord, some people. The only kids acting like entitled and spoiled brats are his kids for 'demanding' expensive gifts and demanding that they go on that holiday. She needs to limit the time spent with those children. Why on earth do they think they are just as entitled as her kids when it's their own parents that must provide for them. They are not teaching them any life skills by implying that his ex-wife should pay their way in life as well.
The kids arent the ones demanding to go. The ex and his mistress wife are. The kids were lied to by the mistress wife about going.
Load More Replies...OP has been waaaaay nicer to the cheater + former mistress than I would ever be.
Honestly, I don't think it's the other children who are resentful and jealous, I think it's just the ex and his current wife. He must kick himself to sleep every night, now knowing exactly what he threw away for a few minutes in the sack with someone else. Really and truly it's all on him, the broken home, broken marriage and shoddy behaviour of himself and his current family.
I’d consider going back to court, requesting for full time custody, with visitation/meeting rights on weekends to father. Otherwise it will be messing kids up all the time. As I understood kids are already having difficulties understanding dynamics, and visiting therapy because of it. AND communication with “new family” exclusively via attorney.
OP is way too nice to her cheating ex and his (former) mistress, now wife. Time for a disconnect from them. It will be difficult for the children, but the ex is a jerk and his wife is worse. Now about OP's mother and brother, if they think the ex's children should go to Italy to visit OP's father's family (who they are not related to and don't know), let the mother and brother pay for their trip.
I can't believe she gives them Christmas presents. They aren't related to her. Not her problem. I can't think of a single reason to take someone else's kids on vacation.
This folks. Is called gaslighting. Sounds like the mistress is just as much of a p.o.s. as the scumbag father.
OP mentions the woman the ex cheated with was a "homewrecker." I've never understood why the other person is blamed in cheating situations. The cheating spouse is to blame, not necessarily the person with whom s/he is cheating. Sometimes the other person doesn't even know about the marriage.
If I were OP, I'd contact my lawyer to see if I could have paperwork drawn up that specifies I only have to deal with my cheater ex-hubs re: the kids and not see-you-next-tuesday.
The other children are really too young to understand what going on vacation to Italy really entails (a 5 y/o so excited?). I bet Mom got them all excited to go so she could have a few weeks without kids. I think you would be above extraordinarily nice to take them to an amusement park with your kids, much less a foreign country! I hope your ex's wife will now understand your boundaries are not to be trampled on.
Unfortunately for those kids they are being raised to be ungrateful for what they have and resentful for what they don't have. This will not serve them well in the real world. OP is definitely NTA
What I don't get is that nobody mentions she's used to having two kids, but suddenly travelling with five is a whole different ballgame. You're totally outnumbered; any little or big thing happens it's total chaos.
Exactly my thought. One adult with 3 kids plus twins, luggage, in a strange country is just ridiculous. Especially given their ages too - even the best behaved 5 year olds are a handful.
Load More Replies...Apart from anything else addressed in this thread, wtf are they having a fourth child if they can't afford the three they already have?
The second the new wife came with the god number, it would be over for me. And then she tops it with lying to her own kids. What kind of person does that? Guy had a good person as a wife, and rather goes with that? Well, he got what he deserved. Loved how OP blew up and ripped him a new one - finally.
It’s how they make money and pay their staff :) websites like this are a lot of work to run and they can’t do all that work for free just for our entertainment! It’s also how they keep the site free for us to use. I know it’s annoying but, just like any other website, just ignore the ads :) (just a tip, I use BoredPanda on a browser - NOT the app - and I found having an adblocker on resulted in tons of pop ups from BP asking me to disable my adblocker. Once I disabled it, the pop-ups went away, now it’s just easily-ignorable ads to scroll past. It’s like the one website that is more convenient to use WITHOUT an adblocker lol)
Load More Replies...OP is way nicer than I would have been, cheater's kids wouldn't have been getting gifts from me, I don't care how little money cheater and hoe make. If ya can't afford 5 kids, don't have 5 kids cheater-man. (Can you tell I'm newly divorced from a cheater? Oopsie!)
Did people seriously need the explanation as to if his new wife is his old sidepiece? Each woman has a child the same age. Come on, people.
Good lord, some people. The only kids acting like entitled and spoiled brats are his kids for 'demanding' expensive gifts and demanding that they go on that holiday. She needs to limit the time spent with those children. Why on earth do they think they are just as entitled as her kids when it's their own parents that must provide for them. They are not teaching them any life skills by implying that his ex-wife should pay their way in life as well.
The kids arent the ones demanding to go. The ex and his mistress wife are. The kids were lied to by the mistress wife about going.
Load More Replies...OP has been waaaaay nicer to the cheater + former mistress than I would ever be.
Honestly, I don't think it's the other children who are resentful and jealous, I think it's just the ex and his current wife. He must kick himself to sleep every night, now knowing exactly what he threw away for a few minutes in the sack with someone else. Really and truly it's all on him, the broken home, broken marriage and shoddy behaviour of himself and his current family.
I’d consider going back to court, requesting for full time custody, with visitation/meeting rights on weekends to father. Otherwise it will be messing kids up all the time. As I understood kids are already having difficulties understanding dynamics, and visiting therapy because of it. AND communication with “new family” exclusively via attorney.
OP is way too nice to her cheating ex and his (former) mistress, now wife. Time for a disconnect from them. It will be difficult for the children, but the ex is a jerk and his wife is worse. Now about OP's mother and brother, if they think the ex's children should go to Italy to visit OP's father's family (who they are not related to and don't know), let the mother and brother pay for their trip.
I can't believe she gives them Christmas presents. They aren't related to her. Not her problem. I can't think of a single reason to take someone else's kids on vacation.
This folks. Is called gaslighting. Sounds like the mistress is just as much of a p.o.s. as the scumbag father.
OP mentions the woman the ex cheated with was a "homewrecker." I've never understood why the other person is blamed in cheating situations. The cheating spouse is to blame, not necessarily the person with whom s/he is cheating. Sometimes the other person doesn't even know about the marriage.
If I were OP, I'd contact my lawyer to see if I could have paperwork drawn up that specifies I only have to deal with my cheater ex-hubs re: the kids and not see-you-next-tuesday.
The other children are really too young to understand what going on vacation to Italy really entails (a 5 y/o so excited?). I bet Mom got them all excited to go so she could have a few weeks without kids. I think you would be above extraordinarily nice to take them to an amusement park with your kids, much less a foreign country! I hope your ex's wife will now understand your boundaries are not to be trampled on.
Unfortunately for those kids they are being raised to be ungrateful for what they have and resentful for what they don't have. This will not serve them well in the real world. OP is definitely NTA
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