Au Pair Fears Talking Back To Host Family, Comes To The Internet To Vent About The Food Situation

Moving abroad for a cultural exchange program should be exciting, but one 19-year-old nanny discovered the reality isn’t necessarily so rosy.

Reddit user Remote-Narwhal5726 shared her experience working in the United States, where she earns just $196 a week while caring for two children.

Instead of being welcomed as part of the household, she was restricted to a single cabinet stocked with cheap pantry food and scolded for buying her own snacks. Now she’s wondering whether she needs to comply with the family’s rules or stand up for herself.

A 19-year-old au pair in the U.S. was limited to a single cabinet of basic food

Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)

When she tried to buy snacks for herself, the children’s mother got angry

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Remote-Narwhal5726

Technically, the host family might not even be within the rules

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

According to the organization Cultural Care Au Pair and the U.S. Department of State, host families must provide three meals a day, a private room, and a minimum stipend of $195.75 per week.

That number isn’t arbitrary—it’s calculated from the federal minimum wage, minus deductions for the room and board the family is required to provide. On paper, this is supposed to ensure au pairs don’t have to spend their limited funds on basic survival.

But in practice, that stipend barely covers more than pocket money. Out of $196 a week, many au pairs need to budget for transportation, personal items, phone plans, and social activities—things that are part of the “cultural exchange” they signed up for.

If a host family isn’t willing to provide full meals or snacks, and the au pair has to dip into her stipend just to buy groceries, it eats into what little that paycheck offers.

This particular conflict also highlights another tension: household rules versus cultural integration. While parents have the right to set dietary standards for their children, host family guidelines explicitly advise treating au pairs as family members, which includes considering their dietary needs and preferences. Forbidding the teen from bringing her own snacks into the home and simultaneously denying her access to family groceries is just unfair.

Most  of the people who read what happened felt really sorry for the teenager

But a few said she should’ve handled the situation differently

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