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MIL Tosses Christmas Gift To The Side After Learning DIL Bought It, Regrets It A Year Later
MIL Tosses Christmas Gift To The Side After Learning DIL Bought It, Regrets It A Year Later
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MIL Tosses Christmas Gift To The Side After Learning DIL Bought It, Regrets It A Year Later

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Picking out a gift is risky business, particularly if the person has strong opinions but won’t actually share a wish list. At the same time, you have to balance expectations, who else gets a gift, costs, time, energy, and a whole slew of other things.

A woman shared her frustration with a MIL who would regularly be unhappy with her gifts, even if it was exactly what she wanted. Instead, she would make it clear when she didn’t like something, so OP decided that enough was enough. Instead of taking the hint, the MIL concluded that this was a good reason to start a conflict.

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    Some people are notoriously hard to buy gifts for

    Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

    But one woman decided that she would no longer get her MIL presents after she would complain about every single one

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    Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Ancient_Night1941

    The stereotype of in-laws being annoying goes back thousands of years

    It goes without saying that the vast majority of mothers-in-law are perfectly fine, normal, and not at all hostile. However, the popularity and heritage of MIL jokes, as well as a few, select horrible cases tend to be enough to create this impression. At the same time, the existence of the “Just No MIL” online group suggests that it does still go wrong often enough.

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    With nearly 2 million members, the group is a place for people to vent about their in-laws, with a general focus on the MIL. At the same time, there are still many “horror” stories about fathers-in-law, but, for better or worse, bad fathers are bad for being disengaged from the family, as opposed to the stereotypical MIL who is too engaged in the family.

    The hostility towards MIL, whether real or imagined, goes back centuries, with some evidence that even the ancient Romans were familiar with the trope of the overbearing, rude, and hostile mother of one’s spouse. This is commonly due to the, also potentially real or imagined, belief from the MIL that their child’s spouse is simply not good enough and won’t treat their precious angel right.

    Image credits: Mark Timberlake (not the actual photo)

    Research into this trope indicates that most people don’t think that they fall into the “bad MIL” category

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    Given the abundance of these jokes, scientists have even been able to research what mothers actually think about them. One study discovered that mothers “they tended not to be upset by jokes because they seemed so far-fetched they couldn’t apply to them, but they didn’t find them funny,” which might suggest that they didn’t necessarily reveal their true emotions on the topic.

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    Interestingly, the study also found daughters-in-law, regardless of marital status also tended to not find MIL jokes funny. The researchers suggested that this was because the DIL understood that, someday, these jokes might be turned against her. Given the existence of the aforementioned internet group, this is perhaps a prudent concern.

    Image credits: Marcus Cramer (not the actual photo)

    OP’s MIL appears to be a deeply unpleasant person

    However, it’s important to note that hating a person just because they are an in-law is ridiculous. OP’s complaint isn’t that this person is her MIL, it’s that she is genuinely unpleasant. She is picky and demanding, but won’t raise a finger to help someone actually figure out the gift that she wants.

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    At the same time, she complains about the presents she was given, even if they were exactly what she wanted. Her reasons are her own, but this is just unpleasant and annoying behavior. Demanding to get the receipts from your DIL right after receiving the gift is tacky, no matter who you are.

    As with so many entitled people, the MIL didn’t seem to realize just how off-putting her behavior was. Normally, a petty and passive-aggressive person is trying to convey a message, but here it’s just a representation of her being annoying and horrible to be around. Because the first gift was the right one, there was nothing to complain about. Instead, she dedicated that she would just give herself some drama so she can feel like a victim. The fact that now she simply will be a victim of no gifts is just some poetic irony.

    Readers shared their thoughts on this entitled and annoying MIL

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    What do you think ?
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get her an OXFAM "Heard of Goats for a farmer in Africa" type card - shows that you're not cheap, and haven't forgotten to get a gift, you're just sending one to someone who needs it more.

    Rafis Poulio
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cut toxic narcissists out of your life, it's never worth it.

    TalontShow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's with adults acting like children when they don't get something/something they didn't ask for?! My coworker gave me a 20 dollar gas card and I was freaking theilled🤣🤣 I'm always just happy I was thought of, but that def comes from growing up not being spoiled

    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband's first set of inlaws thought that they were far superior to anyone else on the planet and that my husband had no manners. In fact, his MIL bought him an Emily Post Book of Etiquet for Christmas. He laughed but proceeded to read and memorize the entire book before the next Christmas. Then he proceeded to call her out every time she did not do the 'proper thing in the proper way'. And that was dozens of times throughout the day. She didn't believe him at first, so he pulled the book out of his pocket and showed her how she was wrong. She got pulled down a few pegs and he had a great laugh over it! The marriage didn't last too many more years.

    Ash
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time for LC/NC. Sounds like DH is fed-up too, so shouldn't be TOO much of a wrench...

    Alpacas_Are_Life
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since when do a husband and wife each get the parents a gift? They are a couple. One gift from both of them should be more than sufficient.

    Lady Gypsy Rain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People like this are so foreign to my family. I am eldest of 3 and every year we are told the same thing by our truly wonderful parents. They want nothing for Christmas beyond time together if it’s all possible. They literally want for nothing & if there is something they want, they just buy it. They buy for us and the grandkids but truly want and expect nothing. Being the lowest paid of the three, I’m on disability since I was 34, I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I usually try to make handmade gifts when I can (I make handmade jewelry, crochet, candles, soaps, paint with oil and so much more) but when I have years like the last three, spending too much time in hospitals, surgeries, multiple ambulance rides, my finances are tapped and my ability to do anything handmade just not there. I always have guilt over not buying, but not because of their words or actions. Just my own because I really do enjoy giving. For anyone to behave like this awful MIL just blows my mind.

    Carole G.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA! If you must, a donation to a charity in her name. Should she complain about that it does show her true colors to EVERYONE.

    Load More Comments
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get her an OXFAM "Heard of Goats for a farmer in Africa" type card - shows that you're not cheap, and haven't forgotten to get a gift, you're just sending one to someone who needs it more.

    Rafis Poulio
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cut toxic narcissists out of your life, it's never worth it.

    TalontShow
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's with adults acting like children when they don't get something/something they didn't ask for?! My coworker gave me a 20 dollar gas card and I was freaking theilled🤣🤣 I'm always just happy I was thought of, but that def comes from growing up not being spoiled

    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband's first set of inlaws thought that they were far superior to anyone else on the planet and that my husband had no manners. In fact, his MIL bought him an Emily Post Book of Etiquet for Christmas. He laughed but proceeded to read and memorize the entire book before the next Christmas. Then he proceeded to call her out every time she did not do the 'proper thing in the proper way'. And that was dozens of times throughout the day. She didn't believe him at first, so he pulled the book out of his pocket and showed her how she was wrong. She got pulled down a few pegs and he had a great laugh over it! The marriage didn't last too many more years.

    Ash
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time for LC/NC. Sounds like DH is fed-up too, so shouldn't be TOO much of a wrench...

    Alpacas_Are_Life
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since when do a husband and wife each get the parents a gift? They are a couple. One gift from both of them should be more than sufficient.

    Lady Gypsy Rain
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People like this are so foreign to my family. I am eldest of 3 and every year we are told the same thing by our truly wonderful parents. They want nothing for Christmas beyond time together if it’s all possible. They literally want for nothing & if there is something they want, they just buy it. They buy for us and the grandkids but truly want and expect nothing. Being the lowest paid of the three, I’m on disability since I was 34, I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I usually try to make handmade gifts when I can (I make handmade jewelry, crochet, candles, soaps, paint with oil and so much more) but when I have years like the last three, spending too much time in hospitals, surgeries, multiple ambulance rides, my finances are tapped and my ability to do anything handmade just not there. I always have guilt over not buying, but not because of their words or actions. Just my own because I really do enjoy giving. For anyone to behave like this awful MIL just blows my mind.

    Carole G.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA! If you must, a donation to a charity in her name. Should she complain about that it does show her true colors to EVERYONE.

    Load More Comments
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