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83 Comments From Toxic Parents That Did Far More Damage Than They Probably Realized
Nobody expects their parents to be perfect. They might embarrass us in front of our friends, lose their temper over something silly, or give us advice we never asked for. But there’s a big difference between the occasional parenting mistake and making your child’s life miserable. Sadly, some parents seem to take every opportunity to tear their kids down.
Over on Reddit, people with narcissistic parents were asked to share the creepiest and cruelest things they’ve ever heard from them. And oh boy, they didn’t hold back. We’ve rounded up their answers below. Scroll down to read them.
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#1
When I was 10 years old, my mom told me she was going to k**l herself the weekend my father remarried. She was driving me home from her weekend visitation. My dad was getting married the following weekend. She told me to expect a call on Sunday to let me know she was dead. I screamed, and cried, and begged her not to leave me, especially with my wicked stepmother who treated me like the red headed stepchild, and an alcoholic dad who knew I was being treated unfairly, but just kept his mouth shut to avoid confrontation. But no, she insisted she had to go. She couldn’t stand the idea of my dad remarrying, when she was alone.
So, the whole weekend of my dad’s wedding, I had to smile and pretend to celebrate, while the entire time, I was wondering, “Is my mom dead? Has she done it yet?” Every time the phone rang, I almost passed out from anxiety. Meanwhile, of course she didn’t do it. She picked me up the following weekend, and didn’t say a word about it. No explanation, no apology, no acknowledgment of my trauma at all. Just pretended it never happened.
Every time I see pictures of my dad’s wedding, I just think about me, that poor sad and scared kid, who had f**king no one to talk to, no one to make me feel safe and loved, and no one to rely on.
That’s why I don’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt for being no contact with my mom. I’ll never speak or lay eyes on that woman again. Even in death. I’m not participating in any funeral or burial arrangements when she dies. They can throw her in the trash, for all I care.
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#2
My dad called me a “wh*re”, (direct quote) when I was 12 for wearing a sports bra with an open flannel with jeans, while at home. It was 94, so it was the trend. Basically starting puberty made me inappropriate. Recently my 11 year old came out of her room in a similar outfit the other day, as she wears one for pajamas around the house, so did my other daughter, without long sleeves over it, and all I see is girls being comfortable at home. Literal children just being comfortable in their own skin and bodies. It’s so weird my dad took offense to me just existing and being comfortable, while at home without company.
They was other stuff too, but this sticks out.
LoubyJ 6 hours ago
I find it weird when parents make these kind of comments. My daughters now young women have always walked about the house in the hot weather with just a bra on and my husband has not batted an eyelid. They would not leave the house like it but in their own homes they should feel comfortable and safe.
#3
I was pregnant with my first and only child at age 38. Had a great career, debt-free in my own home, a stupendous partner, and was stable AF. At seven months pregnant, my mom asked me if I'd give her legal guardianship of our child. I laughed so hard when she asked, but it was not a joke. She was dead serious. She kept insisting she'd be a better parent than I could and be able to give our daughter a better life than we could. 'You could keep her for as long as you can, but that way it's legal... Just in case.'
I was speechless. Like legit, hung up on her, speechless.
I knew I had to have new boundaries in place cause of the baby, but I didn't realize I had to put up the proverbial walls months before the baby even arrived.
In the very few IRL visits we've had since, I've caught her coaching my infant to call her 'Mama.' Nipped that in the bud by explaining that the next time I caught her coaching my kid, she would have all access and communication revoked. Presents sent back unopened. Blocked phone calls. Missed holidays and birthdays.
I can handle my mom's flavor of crazy, but I refuse to allow my kid to be a pawn in her ego games.
#4
Starting around 8–9 years old, my dad started saying, 'you’re a lesbian,' 'you look like a lesbian,' 'you like girls,' etc. This was the late '90s, and I looked like a basic girl then. He’d say this to me sometimes when I had friends spend the night.
I always got so much anxiety about how he’d embarrass me in front of them or accuse me of liking my friends in a romantic way. I just stopped inviting them over.
It was confusing. As I got a bit older, I honestly thought I must be a lesbian, and my crushes on boys were wrong. It was f**ked up.
#5
When I was about five my nDad told me that it was his job as my father to break my spirit.
When I was about seven I got placed in a highly advanced academic program at school - very competitive. My nDad was deeply bothered to learn that his daughter was so intelligent. He went on a rant at the dinner table about what a waste of money it would be for him to send me to college, "just so [my] husband could have intelligent conversation. "
Daisydaisy 6 hours ago
It is hard to imagine a parent wanting to break their child's spirit. That's so bloòdy sad
#6
My mother would always say "I've know since I was young that my kids wouldn't live long, especially my daughter god told me she wouldn't make it past 16" and she would stare at me when she would say it with this excited dead stare. I was so uncomfortable. I was also terrified to turn 16. I thought she was going to k**l me.
#7
My dad was single and dating wasn’t going well, I guess. He lamented to a table full of his own dinner guests that young women like me aren’t interested in men like him, they’re interested in men like (insert my boyfriend’s name).
My bf was sitting right next to me. It made my flesh crawl but it’s not the first time he said s**t like that. I always felt his feelings toward me were extremely abnormal, to say the least. I wasn’t surprised he felt that way, I was just mortified he said it in front of so many people, some of them strangers to me.
Other people at the table were like “surely you don’t understand how that sounds,” and dad doubled down. He knows how it sounds.
Edit: I was about 30 years old when this happened.
#8
"to be honest, I can't hug you now that you have [gestures at b**bs]" from my dad is really up there for me
#9
When my brother died, my dad said my brother didn't deserve a funeral because my brother was an a***ct.
#10
I got pregnant after five years of trying to conceive, at the start of the pandemic, so I was terrified of losing my child. My mom said, 'No big deal, I already have a plot in the graveyard you can use to bury it. See, I always think ahead.' Thankfully, it was a good pregnancy, and I now have a healthy (alive!) 4-year-old daughter.
My mom had a miscarriage before I was a year old, and always blamed me for it (I left her in a bad state, she had to take care of me and couldn’t take care of her pregnant self, etc.). So as soon as I was learning to talk, she would make me apologize to God in my nightly prayers for k**ling my baby brother, since I had already been baptized when it happened, and I had to carry that sin until I could atone for it in my first communion.
#11
When I was 19, my emotionally immature mother said, “You know, if we were married, we would be headed for divorce court.” It’s been like 17 years and I’m still so f**king dumbfounded and disturbed by that comment.
#12
“You don’t even really have to spank or smack your child… a little bit of guilt goes a long way. They will feel that and correct themselves”
Hard to choose the creepiest but this was up there in the top 5.
#13
"Satan told me to k**l you and your sister with a potato peeler yesterday. You should thank god I didn't."
I was 7. My sister was 5.
#14
She would take my phone and flirt with a boy I dated, pretending to be me.
#15
My bats**t crazy stepmom told my aunt (the sister that was closest to my dad, and the only member of my dad’s family that would tolerate her) that as a teenager, I was 'overly flirtatious' with my dad because I secretly wanted to sleep with him. Luckily, I only found out she felt this way long after my stepmother had died. The confrontation would have been beyond ugly had I known, but I had been estranged from her and my dad for about seven years before she died. Needless to say, I don’t miss that witch.
#16
My mom told me in sixth grade that no man would ever want to marry me if I never showed off my b**bs. I was 12 and would continue to wear baggy shirts or jackets to hide my chest until I was out of high school and moved into my dorm at college.
María Hermida 7 hours ago (edited)
Well, I'm sure that's all she knew. SHE needed to show off her b00bs to get some attention, because she probably didn't have anything else to offer.
#17
I was 11 and forgot to take out the trash. My mom decided to tell me I was the reason for her first divorce. My older brother was the golden child; I was the destructor. After she married again and had another child, she said, 'You are the piece of s**t that will never allow me to let go of my first marriage.'
#18
I was 9, and growing as any child does, but i had always been super skinny and tiny as a kid. I reached for the last slice of pizza at dinner and my ndad glared at me and then said in front of everyone “you don’t fit into last years bathing suit anymore” safe to say my relationship with food was never the same and he put me on so many restrictive diets for years to come, when I was already underweight
#19
Mom wanted me to put her name on my bank account under the pretense that it was for security reasons. When I refused, she kept trying to talk me into it and eventually exploded, 'If something happens to you, I can't access your money to do anything about it!' She's in her 70s, I'm in my late 30s. Why this is running through her mind weirded me out and told me to run.
Nathan Schinigoi 6 hours ago
Yet if you pointed out statistically she, at 70, is much more likely to have an accident and it would make more sense for her to put your name on her bank account, somehow that wouldnt make sense.
#20
My mom said she would buy me a pregnancy test 'cause there was no way I was that fat. I was 26 years old and a size medium.
#21
My husband and daughter and I met my mom at the fair one year. We ran into this guy that I had briefly worked with before he left, fired or quit, anyone's guess. I didn't know, didn't really care honestly. I never even learned his name. He seemed to want to hang out with our group because his friends ditched him. I really didn't want to have him with us honestly but my mom felt bad for him supposedly being ditched and then learning he was now homeless. She spent the day trying to set him and I up in situations where it was like a date. I kept walking away and wanting to do something with my family and for whatever reason my mom kept trying to push this guy on me and was getting angry that I kept refusing. She started calling me rude and saying I was being a bad friend. I told her for one, he was not my friend, and two, going on a date with him while married would make me a bad wife, something she should know something about (seeing as she cheated on my dad). This all understandably upset my husband.
Anyway, after he finally got the hint and left, my mom stood there and said, "Just imagine what your life would be like if you had married him."
I jokingly said, "Well, for one, I'd be homeless, you could go ahead and date him if you're so curious."
She got mad and said, "Really, think. He's a great guy. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone like him?"
I got really mad, tore into her how that whole thing was super inappropriate and incredibly disrespectful to my husband and child. And how she might be okay with stepping out of marriages but to me nothing is more sacred.
My husband and I had a fight that night because at some point he thought I was willingly trying to wander off with this guy. I explained to him that I never wanted the guy there in the first place and my mom was oddly obsessed with this guy. We both decided we never want to go anywhere like that with my mom again. We also went really LC, too.
To this day it really bothers me that my mom basically tried to "pimp" me out to a homeless guy in front of my husband.
#22
“Are you done dying?” My father told me that when I had just recovered for sepsis. I came home to maggots crawling in the house. I had had major surgery to save my life. He expected me to cook and clean up after him. This is when I made decisions to leave his sorry a*s.
#23
My dad was kicked out of the family company because he was disabled and just had kids with a wife that lost custody. We were both disabled like dad, something doctors told him wouldn’t happen.
I didn’t get any help like other kids in the family or schooling and I wouldn’t be given a job.
To make them proud I worked hard wanting to escape poverty.
I couldn’t go to undergrad like my cousins if I didn’t have scholarships and money for housing. I had about 8 surgeries up till that point so walking was too painful to be commuter.
I got the full ride after taking the SAT twice.
My dad and I spent the summer looking for scholarships to help with housing and we found one for 50,000 over the span of 4 years… for living costs.
I won by default since I was the only disabled person that had applied.
I happily told my narc uncle and narc grandmother at our weekly meals.
Rich Narc uncle: I don’t understand, why would you be proud of that? They gave it to you because they felt bad for you.
Me: it was a merit based scholarship
RNU: yeah I’m sure.
I then went on to get straight As and the top 20 law school in the area must have “felt bad for me”, since I got a 3/4 scholarship , and being hired as a resident assistant meant I capped my debt at around 50.
My father died and they literally said they weren’t willing to watch me graduate online because “why does it matter you are not going to be using the degree, grandma needs you to take care of her “.
I now make more money than any other grandchild and live 10 Minutes from my work.
I’m only second to that uncle earnings wise.
He still makes excuses and never tells me he’s proud of me keep going when my dad needing help in my 2L as he was dying of cancer and I KEPT MOVING FORWARD.
I will keep moving forward because the one parent that really loved me fought like crazy getting me here.
And now it’s time to start a family that breaks the cycle and transforms our family line into a happy positive environment for future kids to grow up in!
#24
When I was nine my parents were divorcing. My Dad wanted me to come visit him for the weekend. (GCBrother had already visited several times.) nMom got furious and started hitting me over the head with a hardback book. Later on when I asked her why she said "I guess I just saw you getting the guy in the end."
I really have no idea what was going on in her mind. He had always treated me like utter c**p. She was one sick puppy.
#25
At age 12 or 13, frequently:
"You'll be pregnant by 16, and dead by 18"
I will never forget those words, they were the most evil things I've ever heard a person utter to me before or since.
#26
1980. I was upset / crying because things at school were s**t. My father was getting aggravated at my being upset. I said, "This is really important". His response, "pfft Yeah, to YOU" and left the room.
I remember very vividly thinking, " I will never open up to him again".
I was 10.
#27
Around a year after a spout of ED that ended with me hospitalized, we went out for AYCE sushi. Afterwards I said something like “I’m so full I could puke” (I was probably 15 at the time). She responded with “maybe you should you are getting fat again”.
Janissary35680 2 hours ago
I figured out ED but had to look up AYCE. "All you can eat" it turns out.
#28
“You were not a**sed.”
Yeahhhhhh, sorry. Punching your teenage daughter in the face hard enough that briefly she loses both consciousness and control of her bladder… that’s abuse, my darling.
However, the reaction this was perfect. I was arguing with my dad at the time and had asked him, if he only wanted better for me than he’d had, why did he hit me? She flew around the corner outta the kitchen into my face, full of venom, and spat those words like a cobra. I laughed in her face, and my dad in an absolutely f**kin brilliant moment of clarity and humanity, told her “I could have gone to jail for the things I did to her. Go back to the kitchen.”
It wasn’t an apology. But it was the most catharsis I’ve ever experienced in one go.
#29
I have two things said to teenage me:
• "If you ever have kids I will go to the courts and have you declared unfit to be a parent and raise those kids as my own"
• "When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread on your living room carpet and you will be required to never vacuum that carpet or you would lose your inheritance. That way I can still keep my eye on you"
40 year old me neither have kids nor carpets in my house btw.
#30
So, this a bit of a curveball for this topic. I was told at 10, “Do you want to be a big brother?”(I, of course, had only the illusion of say in the matter) and when I decided that was okay I was told “Think long and hard about what being a brother means, and what kind of brother you want to be. A selfish one or one that’s strong enough to make sacrifices for family”. And I did. Maybe 1000s of hours of introspection on the matter.
So, it sounds like a positive healthy parenting tool to instill empathy. I thought so for a long time. As an adult I realize that the positive effect on me was a side effect of the true goal. My mom was setting me up to parent my younger siblings so that she wouldn’t have to.
Got a job at 12 at a donut shop so the baby could get diapers. A brothers responsibility. Stayed home every night throughout all my teen years, to watch the girls. Mom needed time to go out and unwind after all.
Adopted my sisters in my 20s, despite having mom chained to the deal. Raised them until their 20s, and kicked her out when the kids left on their own. (She was using and also hiding my wife’s mail to force her out).
Got hit with that “You’re disgusting, you’re a terrible brother and son”. But the upside to a lifetime of discipline and duty to anything is it builds resilience and hard-earned self-esteem. Her words lost all power, and it’s only because of everything she asked me to do… so that she didn’t have to.
The greatest thing about narcissism is it always ends up sabotaging, long-term, the person wielding it for short term gain.
Doug Moyer 36 minutes ago
Still waiting for that to happen to a certain narcissistic elected official...
#31
When my ndad called me when I was 15 screaming at me “I don’t want to see you wearing anything other than long sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts, your body disgusts me so much I want to puke. Why do you think no one voted you to be on student council”
It stuck with me as the moment I realized how truly, truly unhinged and cruel he actually is. Who would say that to their own child?
Luke || Kira (he/she) 3 hours ago
Fatshaming is the only form of bigotry that's still socially acceptable and often even encouraged
#32
"Youre the reason your father and I are getting a divorce". Said in the middle of the mall outside of American Eagle cuz I asked to go there next for new underwear.
They never got divorced.
#33
We were at my paternal grandmother's funeral. Should note my mother HATED my dad's family...and the feeling was definitely mutual. Anyway, we're at a literal funeral. I was standing with my mother when she suddenly got that mean sneer that she got when she was about to say something horrible, and leaned over to tell me, 'You're just like a [father's last name]. Look at all of them. Ugly with flat a**es, just like you!'
Then she was laughing and gave me a look like she expected me to join in, while I just...stared at her in horror.
What the f**k was that? At a funeral? I don't even have a flat a**?????
I was in my late 20s when this happened, which somehow made it weirder.
Daisydaisy 6 hours ago
The only good thing about these horrible little stories is that they reassure me (and I would imagine many others) that I was a pretty okay parent!!
#34
My dad has accidentally sent me and my sister p**n links MULTIPLE TIMES (now I'm actually questioning if it's an accident...), and he would blame it on random people using his computer. The kicker was he once blamed it on my 85-year-old GRANDMOTHER.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 3 hours ago
Like... there's nothing wrong with old people enjoying some adult entertainment but I have a hunch this was NOT the case
#35
I don't know. I normalized the streams of demeaning rhetoric and straight up insults that came at me. It's insane I did. I was literally shocked to realize that didn't happen in normal families.
I think the most disgusting thing my nmom ever said to me was as an adult. She said she didn't know how to engage with me because I was so smart she was "scared" of me. Not scared enough to keep her from calling me a "worthless little f**k" and beating the s**t out of me whenever she wanted, apparently.
Christ, I hate her so f**king much. What a horrid parent.
#36
Mother: I wish I never had kids because you and your brother are no good.
My response: well maybe we are how you raised us. Maybe you are a s**t mother?
#37
Oh, I have several. Of course, my mother ‘doesn’t remember’ ever saying them.
“I had kids so I don’t have to do chores.”
“We don’t need a dishwasher. That’s what I had you for.”
“You’re the oldest so it’s your responsibility.”
“You’re hiding enough already.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
And that’s just a few of the nuggets.
Bonnie Blue Bird 4 hours ago
'Doesn't remember' is a form of gaslighting. It's to make you question if it really happened.
#38
I heard my NFather say "you're not old enough to say no" to my younger brother and I never felt so creeped out or homicidal before.
#39
Hmmm... there are a lot to be honest. I think what affected me the most is hearing from my mother that she should have aborted me when I was about 6 or 7? In my teens, I evolved into a "satanic monster that's unworthy of love".
Poppy 6 hours ago
My nGrandmother told my mother this, in front of me. At the time there was a storyline in Coronation Street where one character was pregnant but was contemplating an abortion. Mum and her mother were discussing it and mum said she would have had the abortion. My nGrandmother piped up and said 'You had the chance with Poppy didn't you but now you're stuck with her.' Thanks Gran.
#40
Far too many things to count, although when I accidentally found out about my Nfathers years long affair by her walking into my house & me walking out wondering who the hell was this random person coming into my house & baby talking to my dog, comes to mind. I mentioned this weird encounter when he woke up (he worked nights so he was sleeping while she barged into my house) & he immediately knew what I was referring to, took me aside, & told me basically if I speak any word of this it will be my fault for the downfall of everything, I will be the reason my parents divorce, I will be the reason this beautiful house we had just recently moved into at the time, would be sold, I will be the reason they are never happy again.
I held that in for 6 months until that got just far far too heavy for my young self to handle, I broke down like crazy to my mom, & she had a lot to say to him later on for putting all of that weight on me. I think I was only about 14 at that time, & I was already going thru so much. That just really ripped me up. Still does tbh.
#41
"You're sick in the head" - I had just watched the challenger explode live and was trying to process what I saw by drawing it on a napkin
"You like his little paws? How about I cut them off for you?"
"Piece of s**t. I'm sick of you. This family is sick of you"
"Oh yeah I sh*t your cat and threw it into the creek" (He didn't, he just lied about it to make me feel bad)
#42
"We're proud of you."
Why is that a bad thing, you ask? Because it was only ever said to me after I disappointed them. Only after I had turned out to not be good enough. Turned out to be a failure.
Get a good mark on a test? Nope.
Get booked to play at Disneyland with my school band? Nope
Hit the Honor roll? That's just the bare minimum, really.
But screw up, lose my job, flunk out of college, spend to long on the internet, whatever. I would get dragged into the kitchen, sat down on that damn chair, and screamed at, shamed, and degraded, until I agreed to give up something. Let them take something away from me, let them shave another bit off.
And then, after I had submitted utterly... then my EDad would say "We're proud of you."
The greatest thing I could do in their eyes, the thing that earned those words, was allowing them to take away pieces of me.
I hate those words.
#43
My narc mother announced to my extended family that I got my period at age 12. Like, at Thanksgiving dinner.
Na Schi 6 hours ago
That's such a fücked up thing to do. My mother did similar: Frist she made me believe that having a period is a big,dirty secret every women should be ashamed of. Only to tell my father very pointly during supper what had happened to 12 year old me that day. Only to later announce this "big, dirty secret" at the next family gathering during cake to all my relatives and family friends... Makes me still cringed and took me a good amount of time to have a healthy relationship with my body.
#44
Creepiest, my mom told me she envied my b**bs. Meanest, when I was, like, 14/15, she spent Christmas Eve plastered. On Christmas Day, she was sober, and we went to my grandparents'. She told me as we were walking up to their house, 'I wish I never had you; you and your brother ruined my life.'
#45
Nothing. The most hurtful thing my parents did was completely ignore me for long periods of time.
#46
“You are hard to live with, and not easy to love”
Min (she/her) 5 hours ago
Oooh, I got that one quite a few times. Even now, decades later, my mom likes to remind me how unlikeable I was as a teenager. (I was deeply depressed, suîcidal, and self-hárming on a daily basis. So no, I wasn't little miss sunshine.)
#47
"You're an extension of me". Made me absolutely furious at the time, he thought it was a complement lol. My mom gave a wtf as well.
Didn't realize how textbook this was til a year or two ago lol.
#48
My parents told me I was going to raise my child to be a dr*g a***cted felon, he was going to beat me, and I was going to be afraid of him. Those words haunt me. On Christmas Day, my mom told me if I sent my son to a private school, he was going to grow up to go to jail. I said nope, not starting this again. She then called me a liar, saying they never said those words. That will be the last conversation we ever have.
#49
I mentioned to my father my friend from school, best friend might I add, tried to hook up with my ex girlfriend while she was visiting me from abroad. He told me he would also try and f**k her just like my friend because we were breaking up soon, it was fair game
#50
"Why you cannot be like other kids? Why we got you?"
"Lazy, ugly, stupid. I feel regret to give birth to you in this world."
#51
"There's the real world, and then there's Jane's world."
Usually said when they couldn't refute what I was saying, so they would just deny it happening.
#52
My brother was on life support at the time and passed.
My ndad said it should have been me, that it happened to the wrong child.
#53
I have one for each parent, lucky me!
When I was 7 years old, I was sitting with my Nfather in a pub's beer garden. My birthday party was to be the following week, and a girl at school had been bullying me, so I told her she couldn't come to my party. Being 7, and a bit petty, I was complaining about her to him.
Me: "She's so mean! She calls me names and says I'm ugly. She isn't even that pretty herself."
Ndad: "Wait, which kid are we talking about? The one with the blonde hair?"
Me: "Yes. Lisa."
Ndad: "Lirael, that little girl is beautiful. Look, there's something you need to understand. You are ugly. "
A pause
Ndad: "But you have my personality, so you'll do OK."
Then he went back to drinking his beer while I cried. Been NC since the age of 14, thankfully. Asshole.
And then, when I got married and moved to America without my Nmother's consent (at the age of 25, lol), after much screaming and various threats and attempts to emotionally blackmail me into moving back to the UK she dropped the following gem on me over the phone:
"It would have been better if you had died!"
Wow, thanks mum. It would have been better for her if I had died, than for me to have fallen in love and started a new life in another country and lived happily ever after. Brilliant. Been NC with her for about 3 years now. It has been f**king blissful.
#54
My mom would say things to make me cry just so she could comfort me. For example, when I was around 11, I had hair growth on my face and shaved it. She told me that I was going to grow a thick beard because I shaved my face. I believed her and started crying. She hugged me and tried to hold me in her arms like I was a baby. It was intentional.
#55
“I can leave you here and I wouldn’t care” - my father to me, when we were at the airport without my mom. I was 7.
#56
"Go ahead and ki** yourself, I don't care."
Bewitched One 4 hours ago
I’m stubborn enough to have stuck around and up their a*s just out of spite for saying some horrible s**t like that to me
#57
From the time I was a young child, my NMom would tell me "I love you, but I don't like you." I've come to understand that she loved having a baby, but despises me for growing up.
Karma Black 7 hours ago
Mine would say that at least once a week. The way I took it was that she was forced to "love" me only because I was her child, but actually couldn't stand me.
#58
"You make me want to die, to k**l myself. You. Only you." - this came from me standing up for myself while being backed into a proverbial corner like a tiny kitten against a raging bloodthirsty wolf for 3 hours.
I'm still not over it tbh.
ETA: "Dont call me 'mom' " with pure venom in her voice.
#59
My Nmother vehemently told me that "I wasn't her daughter" during one of her narc rages at me after I accidentally locked her out of the yard. I was about 8 or 9 at the time, and one of my chores was to lock the gates to our place with padlocks in the afternoon. Nmother had gone for a walk around the block but she was still out when I was due to lock the gates. Out of forgetfulness and force of habit, I locked the gates before Nmother came back. Got a hiding for it too.
#61
Oh god, so many things. "Apologies mean nothing coming from you" sticks out. So does "if the problem seems to be with everyone else, it's probably a problem with you." Both started around 6, also when my mom started refusing to say "I love you" back to me when I would anxiously say it to her after a fight.
#62
You're so ungrateful, you don't appreciate all the sacrifices I made for you.
I don't remember that That didn't happen You are too sensitive
#63
Not said to me, but my wife.
We had just returned from the hospital where we held our 25 day old son while he took his last breathes. He had been a cesarean 15 weeks early and was only with us for 25 days. This after we’d had three miscarriages and a failed IVF transfer inside of two years.
My mother looked my grief stricken and heart broken wife in the face and said “we thought something like this might happen”
My parents were supposed to meet him that day, they had not visited the NICU previously. We were called away at 6:22 that morning to be with him before they transferred him to another hospital that could do the surgery that might save him, but he coded on arrival, and they could not revive him. It was clear that his loss was inevitable within minutes of our arrival at the hospital he had been transferred to. The rest of the family who we had been staying with asked if I wanted my parents to wait for us. I elected to leave the choice to my parents, in hopes that they would somehow redeem themselves.
“We thought something like this might happen.”
My mother doesn’t seem to understand why we are not sharing our grief with them.
Bewitched One 3 hours ago
All I can say is, f**k your mom. And I hope this person and his wife are healing as best they can now.
#64
She said she wished I'd never been born.
my crime? putting jeans in the dryer with a stick of gum in the pocket. I was actively cleaning the gum off the dryer when she said this. I was 15.
#65
So many examples, but here’s a few recent ones.
Nmom had a dream I was mad at her for lending a friend $600. Then she asked me if I had any friends who need $600 so she can make me mad. When I said it’s just a dream, she said “you don’t know that. You don’t know as much as you think you do.”
I pointed out my aunt’s house from my dad’s side of the family to Nmom and she said “I know. I drive by it every day to see if you’re spending more time with her than me.” I help my aunt with dinner 3x a week. Nmom admitted to stalking me basically.
She wanted me to co-sign on a second house for her years ago. I told her no. Parents co-sign for kids, not the other way around. Also, maybe I want to buy a house someday. She said “why would YOU need a house?!” Like I don’t know, lady. To live in maybe?!
Seven of Nine 52 minutes ago
My idiot of a sister bought a house with my mother. Mother put in 1 unit of money, sis put 2. When the time came to sell it mother assumed they would share the profit 50-50. My sister couldnt say no, being the golden child and yet knowing what kind of person mother is.
#66
Stellar is indeed a good word to describe those sentences.
I'd say the top 3 of what I got on my mind lately is:
be grateful you have a roof, food, and I'm not beating you up
I want you to be me, but better (purely from an academics and career perspective)
psychology is BS, I've read a book once and it was like I had all the illnesses in the world
#67
I was sitting at the kitchen table reading (around 11–14), and she was boiling something in a big pot on the stove. Out of the blue, she said that the Bible says in the end times, there will be a famine, and women will boil their babies and eat them. It kind of freaked me out because she was boiling something, and WHY would she tell me that? I knew somehow that she was implying she had complete control over my life, whether I lived or died, and that she thinks God approves of that.
#69
My mom blamed me for her cancer when I was like 11. (She has since made a full recovery.)
When I was like 15, she told me she hated me and wanted to k**l me.
When I was 19, I was being s*xually h****sed by a manager at the place I was working at. When I went to my parents for help they told me I had to just deal with it because I needed the money. I was a****lted within that same month and quit after it. I overhead my mother telling my dad how I ruined her social life because I quit.
Those where the 3 most hurtful.
#70
She used to chant “fatty fatty two by four can’t get through the kitchen door” at me when I was in middle school. To this day she refuses to admit she said it.
#71
"You're ugly."
I was 6 and said she was being mean so she said "whenever you call me names, I'm just gonna tell you you're ugly." She did this A LOT. As if saying "you're mean" is calling her a name.
#72
Im terminally ill at 46 (got sick at 40) and last Christmas I emailed saying merry christmas and she told me to never contact her again and that she has her own health problems.
#74
"Your infertility is God's way of telling you that you'll be a terrible mother."
Thankfully I'm the kind of good mother who knows she was broken too badly to ever raise a child well. After all, when "God" tell you to not make someone a grandmother it's best to listen.
#76
A common one for my nmom was ‘if you had a brain you’d be dangerous’. I found humor in it.
Cloudy 6 hours ago
I heard that all the time. Say it about myself. There was another one about being old enough and ugly enough to know better. Said in front of my child. Who was younger than 10. My kid said that's not nice. And mum agreed and said she doesn't know why she says it. They stick with you.
#78
"I am not your friend, I'm your motherrr" (Now that I need a mother and she is insisting on being a friend this 20 year old statement keeps ringing in my head)
"I was worried you weren't okay, but now that I've seen you, I can see you're just fine" (My father 20min after I'd cried to him because an over a decade long relationship I had break up)
#79
"You have mental illness? Serve you right cuz you never try to get close to God!"
Life is so complicated when you're staying with religious narcissistic. Keep giving excuses, reasons, debate by using religion stuffs. Even validate their wrongdoings by using religion stuffs. No wonder why people lost their belief and faith on religion because of these people.
#80
I brought you into this world and I can take you out
#81
It might not sound as bad as things others have said, but I will never forget his words or how he made me feel.
It was in the middle of a screaming match. I remember him backing me into a corner, and I was begging him to just listen to my point of view. I was crying, just saying over and over that I had listened to him, and to please just let me speak. He looked at me and shouted, "You need to learn the difference between a superior and a subordinate!" It absolutely shattered me. I learned then that he didn't view me as his child, someone to love and care for, but as just another underling for him to control.
#82
Blamed me for the impending death of an elderly family member whom I was close with. (Apparently I didn't visit enough)
#83
I've talked about this elsewhere - but labeling me as 'the pretty sister' and my younger sister as 'the smart sister'. And then going on to talk about how important intelligence is. Reallllly f**ked me up for a long time.
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What do you think ?
SheamusFanFrom1987 4 hours ago
After reading this list, I feel like chemical castration should be made a permanent requirement for some pathetic meatsacks so they cannot bear a child for punching bag purposes...!!! >:-(
Uncle Schmickle 2 hours ago
I think a lot of these were made up. Also what's this " N parent " and " E parent " business ? Can't people just spell it out for those of us who don't have a code book ?
Seven of Nine 38 minutes ago
Unfortunately none of this is made up. Count your blessings that you think this isnt real
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 6 hours ago
We're still using narcissistic as a word for "evil" basically? Bruh, its a mental health issue and doing this nonsense makes it harder for people to access support. Stop normalising this
Jamie Jones 40 minutes ago
My grandmother, textbook narc, was actively evil and liked being the way she was.
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 4 hours ago
After reading this list, I feel like chemical castration should be made a permanent requirement for some pathetic meatsacks so they cannot bear a child for punching bag purposes...!!! >:-(
Uncle Schmickle 2 hours ago
I think a lot of these were made up. Also what's this " N parent " and " E parent " business ? Can't people just spell it out for those of us who don't have a code book ?
Seven of Nine 38 minutes ago
Unfortunately none of this is made up. Count your blessings that you think this isnt real
Load More Replies... Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 6 hours ago
We're still using narcissistic as a word for "evil" basically? Bruh, its a mental health issue and doing this nonsense makes it harder for people to access support. Stop normalising this
Jamie Jones 40 minutes ago
My grandmother, textbook narc, was actively evil and liked being the way she was.
Load More Replies...
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