“You Think You Can Hurt Me?” MIL Decides A Wedding Gown Is A Great Choice For Son’s Wedding

Why can’t we just get along? Sometimes, it seems like a lot of family conflicts are unprovoked, a direct result of our own insecurities and projections, and could easily be avoided.

At least that’s what happened to Deanna from New Jersey, the United States, when her future mother-in-law went dress shopping for her wedding.

Instead of choosing something universally appropriate, she picked a laced gown, and when Deanna’s fiancé—the lady’s son—saw it, he immediately knew there was a problem. But when the groom told his mom she couldn’t wear it, she insisted it was “pink.”

More info: TikTok

People can upstage the bride by accident

Image credits: deannanotdeanna

But this woman’s future mother-in-law tried to do it on purpose

Image credits: deannanotdeanna

Image credits: deannanotdeanna

Image credits: benzoix / freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: deannanotdeanna

Here’s the viral video where she explains what happened

@deannanotdeanna Replying to @wontonsoupand2vegrolls ♬ original sound – deannanotdeanna

Wearing white to someone else’s wedding is a huge no no

Except in select cases, experts believe that wedding guests should stay away from white dresses—and especially long ones that are lacy or that read even slightly bridal.

For brides in many cultures, the white wedding dress tradition (which really kicked off after 1840 when Queen Victoria chose a white dress for her own wedding) holds a special meaning, as the color symbolizes youth, purity, innocence, and new beginnings. Wearing white not only allows the bride to stand out—by doing so she also honors traditions and values passed from one generation to the next.

“That color is reserved for the bride to wear at the wedding,” says Anthony Navarro, Creative Director of Liven It Up Events. “It is an unsaid rule that you should not wear white.” Essentially, wearing a white dress or outfit to a wedding (as a guest) is usually considered improper.

Image credits: The Now Time / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“The bride may or may not wear white (maybe ivory, maybe champagne), but it’s her color for that day. You don’t want to be mistaken for the bride in a white or lace gown,” says Brandi Hamerstone, owner and wedding planner at All Events Planned.

“You don’t want to stand with the bride and look as though you were attempting to look bridal on someone else’s day. Even if that wasn’t your intention, that’s what people (and possibly the bride) will think, and who wants to be ‘that’ person?”

Bridal stylist Anny Choi agrees. Whether we’re talking about ivory or cream, in a sense, it’s all white. Consider the ever-expanding palette that the bride may be playing with—and when in doubt, stay on the side of caution. “It’s old-school to think, ‘Oh, the bride will be wearing a big white princess dress,'” Choi says. “What a bride looks like today varies and can be so different.”

As Choi points out, these colors can look white in photographs too.

Some white elements you might get away with, such as:

• Patterns that incorporate white or ivory details, such as stripes, polka dots, or flowers;
• A white camisole layered under a jacket;
• A white shrug worn over a colorful cocktail dress;
• Large-scale prints on a white background (aim for a 75-25 ratio of color to white).

But even if you choose one of these, you might want to inform the couple about it. Just to be safe. However, it’s hard to find an excuse for the dress the TikToker’s future mother-in-law had picked out.

And the reactions people shared

The bride eventually released an update on the situation

Image credits: deannanotdeanna

And everything seems to have worked out, for now

@deannanotdeanna Replying to @charlesearroz ♬ original sound – deannanotdeanna

The lady’s niece also shared her perspective on the ordeal

@ernaburnaDress gate 2025 😂😂♬ original sound – Erna Burna

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