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Men Were Asked To Share Their Thoughts On Body Dysmorphia And They Deliver 15 Honest Answers
Article created by: Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mental disorders affect everyone. Young or old. Rich or poor. Male or female. However, when it comes to various body and eating disorders, some internet users feel like men tend to be sidelined almost entirely while everyone focuses almost exclusively on women’s issues.
Redditors have been discussing male body dysmorphia on the r/AskMen subreddit after a user asked them how they feel about the issue being sidelined when compared to anorexia or bulimia. You’ll find what they had to say below, Pandas.
Body dysmorphic disorder, also known as body dysmorphia or BDD, is a mental health condition. Those suffering from it spend a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance, most of which aren’t noticed by others. It’s a condition that mostly affects teenagers and young adults, both male and female. There’s a lot of overlap between BDD and eating disorders, however, they aren’t exactly the same. You’ll find Bored Panda’s interview about how the pressure to conform and be ‘perfect’ can lead to various disorders with an expert in the field below.
- Read More: Men Were Asked To Share Their Thoughts On Body Dysmorphia And They Deliver 30 Honest Answers
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#1
I am not going to disagree that these aren't issues, they definitely are. Men have many issues that aren't as focused on as they are with women. Mental illness, abuse, and even cancer. Men have societal expectations that are toxic also. All of these should be taken seriously. However we as men need to change, for that to happen. We can't blame women for it and in some ways we can't even blame societal expectations. We live in a patriarchal society. I think we are shifting away from that, but slowly. I know men have a tendency to scoff, when women complain about that. The irony is that patriarchal society, that we as men created and fueled for centuries, wasn't just toxic for women, but men. We still control most things, like media, money, and most of society. We are to blame. We could have more of these. Women have all of their support groups and causes, because they spoke up. They said we aren't going to take this. They banded together for their causes. They even created change with their pockets. They got involved and banded together. We have to speak up about our fights with things like mental illness, eating disorders, and abuse. We can cry and have emotions. We can be sensitive and insecure. All of those things are ok. We have to change. We can't blame societal expectations, because in many ways, we put those on ourself and we continue to propagate them. We in a way created this mess and have to fix it. I know this all sounds man hating in a way. It's not. We have so much potential. We just need to be the change. Society would be all the better if men banded together to stop toxic masculinity. I don't know, part of me thinks we would have a better society, if men realized they are part of the problem, but also part of the solution. Just my two cents.
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#2
My whole family sat me down when I was 12 to tell me that I was getting fat.
This was months after I told them that I was being bullied and didn't know how to handle it.
My dad is also a PhD psychologist.
#3
A female friend of mine STRONGLY believes that body dysmorphia and insecurities are solely a misogynistic and patriarchal issue that only affects women. Man, it’s so frustrating to talk to her about that. As a guy who has had severe body dysmorphia since before high school, I try to tell her that it affects men equally as well. But she still believes that society’s ideals for a perfect body are unfairly imposed on the females ONLY and that males don’t have to deal with such insecurities and expectations.
#4
A lot of guys hate their bodies. Hell just trawl through the threads around here and look at all the ones convinced their life is a mess because they're short, bald, ugly, can't grow a beard, can't get a six pack or whatever. Hell plenty just want to be skinny like so many women.
I'm not sure what, if anything, there is to be done about it but it's definitely there.
#5
I think a lot of it has to do with how little the general public knows about steroid use. I’ve known tons of people that have slightly above average natural physiques that cruise control low dose test. While their physiques were absolutely obtainable naturally, they weren’t obtainable with their lifestyles. The average person sees their physiques and assumes that with enough work they can eat whatever they want and drink three days a week and look like them. I don’t think people realize how many people are on steroids because they associate it with huge bodybuilders.
There’s also the fact that because people’s favorite actor/strength athlete doesn’t admit to steroid use, they assume their physique is hard work and dedication. There are literally people on Eddie Hall’s YouTube comments claiming that he is natural.
I don’t think male body dysmorphia is taken seriously because there’s a large percentage of the population that just isn’t aware of it.
#6
If a man tells his therapist that he's experiencing body dysmorphia, hates his body, etc. then he'll be taken seriously the same way as if a woman did.
The problem is that men just aren't talking to therapists, or anyone else, about their issues. At best they're turning inwards, engaging with bad faith "bro science" communities full of grifters.
#7
I agree but also it's important to remember men can also suffer from eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia.
Men are often overlooked and dismissed when it comes to mental illness in general, body image issues are no different in that regard. Increasing awareness and destigmatizing mental illness and body image issues among men is important. There is also a major need for male focused resources, support groups, and services. There are groups out there doing great work towards guiding men into healthier lifestyles but they are constantly in need of volunteers and support.
#8
Men having self esteem issues doesn’t get enough attention in society. Frick man I remember my sophomore year of college being filled with self esteem issues.
One good example: I had a huge crush on a coworker of mine that year. We always talked on shift and had deep conversations. I would try to flirt with her, but she made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested. At that time, I had horrible acne on my forehead and between my eyebrows. I tried changing my diet, exfoliating, over the counter acne medicines. None of it worked. I wound up going to a dermatologist until I found a medication that worked. I was so convinced she thought I was ugly because of my acne and that’s why she wasn’t interested. I hated looking in the mirror and would even lose friggin sleep over it.
I carried those self esteem issues until I met my wife who I’ve been married to for almost 10 years now. I was honest about my self esteem issues with her in the beginning. She actively worked at building up confidence in myself. I really believe that if it wasn’t for her, I never would have been able to work through it. I always kept those issues buried so no one knew to help.
I hope we can get to a place where men are less afraid to be open about issues they have with body image. And that those around them will build them up.
#9
There is a problem in the area of mental health in general for men. There are so many that associate therapy with weakness and I think a lot of guys really think twice before getting help.
#11
I think men are prone to silently accepting their lot in life as opposed to seeking social support and people are more willing to accept I'm fine from a man who is clearly struggling.
#12
I think alot of men's softer and insecure sides are ignored or hushed down despite the evidence telling us it should not be. Mostly by men themselves and society follows, or is it the other way around? I think it's hard to tell with these things. What came first the stigma or the behaviour?
Honestly I think we're in a phase now where we are starting to re-define what is is to be a man where we allow people to actually ask these questions about men, and let other men answer it without guilt or stigma. Kinda similar to what women have been doing for the last 100-150 years. Just in the last quarter of a century we have seen a Lot of development with regards to men in the western hemisphere. I think the next 50-100 years are going to be interesting with regards to men's mental wellbeing.
#13
It's funny because everybody I speak to daily in the gym who isn't chiseled says they "just want to be a little fitter", and then here I am not satisfied with shoulders the size of my head.
#14
I find just like women we hold ourselves to higher standards to those around us. We think while we look like a bad version of what we could be. Others just see us as is. Not fat skinny or in shape it's just "oh that's _____." We're all built different. I've seen happy people in all different forms of themselves. If you don't love yourself you have to put in some work and learn to love yourself. Hopefully wanna see yourself be the healthiest you can be.
#15
The same way we feel when our other feelings are largely disregarded.
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