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49 Shocking Things Medical Professionals Said To Their Patients
Having good diagnostic skills is a must for all doctors. Yet patients often expect more from medical professionals. A 2018 MGMA-Healthgrades analysis revealed that 52% of patients think their doctor should have at least one of the following traits: compassion, patience, comfort, bedside manner, and personality.
Many people who visit healthcare providers are at their most vulnerable in that moment. So, it's never fun when healthcare workers are rude. To highlight how some of them might lack good bedside manner, one netizen asked: "What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you?"
From making assumptions to outright ignoring symptoms, these medical professionals are the absolute worst and deserve to be shamed!
Bored Panda got in touch with u/slinkslowdown, the netizen who started this discussion online. They kindly agreed to tell us how a personal experience inspired this thread and what they would like medical professionals to take away from this discussion. Read their thoughts below!
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#1
3 months-ish pregnant, start spotting. Spend about 10 hours at the hospital, vaginal ultrasounds, lots of diagnostic testing. Nothing they can do, tell me to go home and wait to miscarry.
I'm a wreck. It's now late, dark and rainy outside, but I don't have a way to get home because hubby is at work with our only car (was very young and poor). Doc says the nurses have taxi vouchers they can give me to get home.
Go to nurses station, ask for a taxi voucher. Nurse says "We only give taxi vouchers to women who have living babies".
RELATED:
#2
Indian female here. I can’t go to most gynaecologists here, because they are so judgemental. The last visit I had was brutal, I was s**t shamed for losing my virginity before my marriage and then given an extremely painful transvaginal ultrasound, when I yelled out in pain, she said “but you are used to things inside you.” Shook me to my core. Can’t summon enough courage to visit a gynaecologist anymore now.
Edit: This happened in New Delhi, India. Also thanks for the Reddit Gold dear Internet stranger!
#3
Me, when I was nine, about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery, and being extremely scared.
Nurse: You need to grow up. I've had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy-cat as you.
My mother was not, by any means, a helicopter parent...but the thrashing she gave that nurse, the other nurse who chuckled at it, and the doctor who came in was insane. And then she took me out of that office (the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing, just to fix a soon to be impacted adult tooth) and for ice cream. I had the surgery done at a different office with a staff that had far better bed-side manners.
u/slinkslowdown tells Bored Panda that an unpleasant encounter with a mental health worker inspired them to ask others about the most hurtful things they've heard a medical professional say.
"They were helping me apply for disability and during the assessment called me (and wrote on the forms) that I was 'Socially and emotionally [stupid],'" the Redditor recalls. The word the worker actually used starts with an "R" and ends with "D," so we'll let you fill in the blanks yourselves, Pandas. "Really using the word [stupid] in the 2010s," u/slinkslowdown told us in disbelief.
Having had such an experience, the Redditor wasn't surprised to read through many similar stories in the thread. "I already knew there's a problem with how patients are treated sometimes," they say. "Many of my friends are chronically ill, as am I, and we see many doctors, specialists, nurses, etc., and often get blown off or told rude things."
#4
The suggestion that I had confused a panic attack for a seizure.
To clarify, this was my first grand mal seizure. My father had them prior, and my mother witnessed both him having one and myself having mine. According to her, it was identical. I even hit all the textbook marks of having had an epileptic seizure, from the memory loss to the postictal fatigue.
The emergency room doctor didn’t run any tests, or examine my family history of epilepsy. He simply noticed the anxiety disorder in my medical history and assumed that I was just having a panic attack, and wrote it off as my only issue being that I’d hit my head.
Talking to my psychiatrist later about the incident, he confirmed based only on my account (corroborated with mom’s details where I couldn’t fill in) that I had definitely had a seizure, and he sent the orders for further testing himself. He also couldn’t refrain from saying “What the f*** is wrong with this doctor?”
I’m glad that at least one of my doctors took my seriously.
#5
When I was 14, I was r***d by this 20 year old dude. I was at the hospital and the Dr(this old man) who examined me didn't believe me. Asked me if I was lying to get attention. Never have I felt so lost before.
#6
Came in for something totally different and she commented on my stretchmarks on my hips and around my breast. I was around 17 years old and had gotten them when I hit puberty because I developed so much in a short amount of time. I explained this to her and she had a whole dialog with herself about her originally thinking it would have been because I used to be fat, and after my explanation just lamenting about how sad it was for me that I would have to live my entire life "with a body like that".
Changed doctor the next day.
u/slinkslowdown wishes that more medical professionals would think before they speak. "Words matter," they emphasize. "How you deliver news (good or bad) matters. Treating a patient poorly can lead to them fearing the medical profession and even avoiding seeking treatment in the future," the Redditor points out.
They have seen the effects of medical professionals treating patients poorly firsthand. "One of my friends is so traumatized after years of poor medical treatment that they have panic attacks just sitting in a clinic waiting room," u/slinkslowdown says, sharing one personal example.
#7
Finally worked up the courage to work on my mental health problems and asked my doctor for a recommendation to see a therapist. His only response was I’m too poor to get a therapist since my health insurance sucked. That was a bad day
Edit: don’t know if anyone will see this but in perfect timing my university was looking for therapy participants for a study. I now have 6 2-hour therapy sessions booked, for free. I’m so happy. Thank you for all the replies and suggestions, I’m so appreciative. 💛.
#8
So I'm having a miscarriage, right, and I'm bleeding an amount that Google says is not okay. I'm dizzy as f***, freezing cold, losing feeling in my extremities, waiting in the ER for a doctor to see me, and when one does I'm gonna be taken to surgery, put under anesthesia, and have my uterus vacuumed because my body is *really bad at this,* but *before* that happens, when I'm trying to communicate to a nurse just how badly I need help, I tell her that I can't feel my hands and she replies with
"That's because you're hyperventilating. Try to stop that."
Lady, I'm bleeding to death. Hyperventilation is a symptom. Can you please be gentle with the person who has not only lost their child but is trying not to go down with them?
#9
You can't be in that much pain. You must have more energy than that.
Turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed. I was becoming paralysed, painfully.
#10
When I was 16 and dealing with partial deafness: "Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard, but it's hard to parent them too so there's no need to exaggerate things to make things harder for your parents. Knock it off, there's nothing wrong with you."
Two tumors, 9 surgeries, and a CSF leak later, yes doctor. There really was something wrong.
#11
Getting out of the army- you are 100% healthy. My medical record was about six inches thick. Went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that. I am rated 80% disabled.
#12
I had gained a lot of weight around my mid section a few years back, and my periods stopped. I was scared, young, and thought I was pregnant, but the tests came back negative. I went to a doctor to have myself checked out and she did some basic tests before telling me.
"There is nothing wrong with you, you're just fat"
I already had some body confidence issues, but hearing it from my doctor, when I was trying really hard to get in shape, really hurt, I worked hard to lose weight, but my belly wouldn't shrink, I was starting to feel really sick, and went back to the doctor, who again told me it was that I was just fat. I was crushed.
A year later I went to the hospital for something unrelated, and it was discovered that I had a giant Ovarian Cyst, about the size of a newborn. It was throwing off my hormones, making me gain weight, among many other issues. I have since lost weight and am feeling super confident now, but that doctor really messed me up for a long time.
#13
You are just another crazy and stressed woman... turns out I did had a heart problem he just couldn’t diagnose.
#14
My doctor didn't actually speak, his reaction was worth a thousand words though: he literally rolled his eyes, threw his head back and sighed very loudly...
I had been having a semi-regular pain in my abdomen for years, a terrible cramping pain (I'm a man so it wasn't menstrual in nature) that would double me over in pain and would last for a day or two and then go away. I had seen a few different doctors about it and none of them could figure it out.
I was seeing a gastroenterologist about another problem and mentioned my pain to him. He did some tests, tried a few things, did an endoscopy and told me he couldn't find anything wrong. The next time I got the cramping pains I went back to him and he performed his non-verbal routine mentioned above. It would have been less hurtful if he'd just told me I was a hypochondriac.
I gave up on figuring out the pain. Fast forward a few years and I'm having a bout of these cramps. Middle of the night I get up to go to the bathroom. I puke my guts out and proceed to pass out on the bathroom floor for a few seconds. I make it back to bed without waking my wife and somehow fall back asleep. In the morning I get up and need to puke again. My wife goes with me out of concern and I pass out on the toilet. She calls 911 and I get whisked away to the hospital. Didn't take too long for the doctors to determine I had a bowel obstruction. After 6 hours of surgery and a subsequent week stay in the hospital I'm back home and feeling better than I have in years.
Turns out that I had a 99% bowel obstruction caused by adhesions that had been slowly developing on my intestines since an appendectomy that I had in 1980. The surgeon told me that it was so bad in a few places that my intestines had been twisted on themselves. He referred to it as a "rats nest". The surgery was in March, 2017, and not only have the cramps not come back once, I haven't felt this great in decades!
**TLDR:** Doctors couldn't find a problem with me/made me feel like a hypochondriac for almost 20 years. Turns out I had bowel obstruction caused by a surgery that took place 37 years earlier.
**Edit:** A few quick things. I wanted to say thanks for the silver; I wasn't expecting anyone to even see this little story of mine.
I made a few responses in the comments but I did want to add a little to the story. My original appendectomy in 1980 became infected which led to a second surgery to remove the infection. This was an 8 hour surgery that left me with a 9 inch scar on my abdomen. The eventual bowel obstruction wasn't always an obstruction -- it was just adhesions on my intestines that were restricting my natural muscular movements and leading to occasional intense pain and constipation. I'm pretty certain the only way this could have been found was with an exploratory laparoscopy, which is exactly what happened once it turned into an obstruction and an emergency room visit. The good news is that I got fixed, I'm a much happier person, and I can p**p better than ever before!
#15
After years of fertility treatments, we finally got the wife knocked up. Just before the 12 week mark they found "something". The something was Anencephaly. Not knowing what it was, we kept asking doctors what this meant and got very doctor-y answers. "The prognosis isn't good" or "It presents significant challenges to the fetus" all of which made it sound bad, but somehow manageable.
As we continued through the gambit of doctors, we eventually ended up with one who had that declarative Scandinavian accent, when we asked him *What does this mean for the child* he answered:
> *This condition is incompatible with life. If it survives to birth, it will live only for days.*
It was at once soul crushing and a relief. We finally knew how bad it was, but we knew what we had to do. The decision was no longer ours, and while it hurt the clarity was welcome.
Recalling this story many years later still makes me feel emotional.
#16
In the ER, about six months pregnant, with heavy spotting and no noticeable fetal movement. Idiot doctor is unable to find the baby’s heartbeat. Just looks up at me and says, “Yep, probably dead in there.” He couldn’t possibly have said it in a more casual, offhand manner.
Note: I delivered my son three months later, perfectly healthy.
#17
"Maybe your migraines are happening because a physics major is just too advanced for you, young lady." (Graduated with honors, got a master's for good measure).
#18
My 20 year old niece went to the ER in horrible pain. Doctor thought she was there for opioids and hit her hard in the middle of the back where she said it hurt. She almost hit him back and screamed "what the f*** is wrong with you?!" Turns out she needed her gall bladder removed.
#19
Was having digestive issues I eventually learned were a result of my undiagnosed cancer.
Doctor suggested I should wipe better.
#20
I woke up in the hospital and heard a nurse running out saying “he’s awake”. The Dr. comes into the room and tells me to move my toes. I ask them where I am and what’s going on, he just gets more insistent that I “move your toes”. I asked again where I was and that was going on , he almost yells at me “ move your toes”. I said I am moving my toes, and immediately he says “you will never walk again.” That’s how I found out I was a paraplegic at 21 years old. I had been in a single car wreck and was thrown 70-80 feet from the car and my vertebrae was dislocated and laying next to another one. I don’t remember the car wreck but that exchange with the Dr. Is burned into my brain, and that was 31 years ago.
Edit 1: D**n this blew up. Thank you to you all for your comments. I had a seatbelt on but went off a small hill next to the interstate after clipping an end of the guardrail. Flipped the car down the hill and seat and seatbelt gave way under the pressure and I went out the driver door window. My back collapsed around the door sill and dislocated one vertebra next to the one below it. I’m a big guy 6’4” and 235 at the time and the force was too much for the seat structure. I found out all these details over the next few weeks while I was in rehab.
#21
He asked me if I felt lonely
I said I don’t think of myself as lonely
He wrote down Lonely and underlined it.
#22
I did a video chat service to talk to a doctor for 15 minutes. I told her my symptoms and thoughts since we were low on time. I had been very sick for weeks, possible urinary tract infection and respiratory infection. Also gave my other ideas from my symptoms. She told me I had Valley Fever and told me all about it over chat and we got cut off at 15 minutes.
I got her final email which should have a prescription in it and was told she actually thought I had Somatic Symptom Disorder aka that I was making all of this up and was perfectly fine. Her prescription was for a f*****g psychologist!! She told me in detail about my possible valley fever even though I said I hadn't been to the areas she said it was prevalent.
I made an appointment with my normal doctor and had a few tests ran. Had a respiratory infection and a freaking KIDNEY infection!! 10 or so days of meds and I was fine.
My gosh I was so angry at that quack.
#23
Not sure if psychiatrists count, but:
"You need to stop talking to me about your past. I have other patients who had it worse than you, you know."
I'd only been seeing this woman for two months. It had taken me years to work up the courage to seek help, though the fear that my problems weren't real problems or weren't important. We'd barely even touched on the trouble I came in wanting help for, because the doctor decided on week two that I had generalized anxiety disorder, and that was that.
#24
I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about "size isn't everything", which isn't what I went there for.
#25
New doctor took my height measurement and jots it down before issuing me a very casual.
“Huh, tall for a woman”
I am a bearded man.
#26
Not to me, but to my mom. Dr. said “oh just let him hide in the bathroom”. I hid in the bathroom when I got really bad headaches that turned out to be due to a brain tumor. Doc must’ve assumed I was m**********g.
#27
When i was like 5-8 mom took me to the dentist and he was stabbing above and under my tongue and the inside of my cheeks and he said "If you cry im going to start over"
Edit0: I did cry at some point during a regular procedure and he did start stabbing everywhere in my mouth again
Edit1: he was stabbing me with the tool dentists use to clean your teeth and remove plaque, no needles were involved.
#28
What chronic illness are we sick with today?
I was 12 years old. Puberty was kicking my a*s. I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles. But my mother dressed nice and was a well known figure in the community, so I was faking the illnesses I guess. Anytime a kid acts out for attention, I pay attention because it means something is going on. But that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair. I’ve had trouble trusting any medical professional since.
#29
"It's unethical for women who have never given birth to a child to get an IUD. You will change your mind about not wanting kids, you are too young".
#30
When I went for a repeat prescription for anti-depressants as I was suffering with PND, anxiety, PTSD and OCD, the nurse refused to prescribe them and told me to 'Just cheer up, it's almost Christmas!'
Silly me!! Why didn't I think of that first?!
Edit: thank you for my first ever silver, kind internet stranger!
#31
When I was in middle school until 10th grade, I would get violent nausea anytime I got hungry. It felt like my stomach was on fire, and I would miss a lot of school from feeling like s**t (although I was a good student and wasn’t falling behind in any way). After a lot of fighting with my mother who accused me of exaggerating, she agrees to take me to a gastroenterologist to be checked out. Before agreeing to do an endoscopy, the gastro accused me of exaggerating because I was a teen girl and that’s just apparently what young women do, he suggested I was just making up these symptoms for attention, and then asked me point blank if I was lying about my pain level to skip school and suggested I had a mental health issue I was trying to cover for. I had f*****g GERD and severe acid reflux, as confirmed by the endoscopy he reluctantly agreed to perform on me. Instead of letting it go, the gastro made a point of angrily telling me that I had “the stomach of a 80 year old man” and must have been intentionally eating in a way to f*** up my stomach.
I have a family history of stomach problems and GERD. I don’t understand why it was so implausible that my brother could have acid reflux at a young age, but I must be a hysterical liar when I claim to have the same symptoms in my teens.
#33
My first time getting an exam with a gynecologist I was very nervous. I had lost my virginity only a few months prior and was seeking birth control. Talking to the doctor, I was told I would be too absent minded to take a pill every day and I should get a hormonal IUD instead. Due to my migraine headaches and family history of blood clots, this was not a good option for me.
But anyway, during the exam, the doctor attempted to insert the speculum and I was very tense so it was uncomfortable. She said, "You need to drink some wine to relax and have s*x more often to stretch out before I would consider giving you an IUD. I even used the wimpy speculum."
Needless to say, I never went back and Planned Parenthood was a life saver.
#34
"I just don't know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I'm not going to be able to write you a prescription." My response was, "You're a d*****t; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction." I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was vetting an xray to see if I had broken anything.
#35
I had to take my son to the ER when he was 2 because he was having trouble breathing. The ER doc said he most likely had asthma, so she gave us an inhaler. Flash forward three days when we go to have his follow up with his pediatrician.
Dr J*****s: So, he saw this ER doctor once in his life and you trusted her to make a lifelong determination that your son has asthma? That’s pretty ridiculous.
Six months later, after three more ER visits with my son being unable to breathe.
Dr. J*****s: It looks like I owe you an apology. It turns out your son quite likely does have asthma.
#36
When I was about 15 I decided to open up to my doctor that I thought I might be depressed and see if there was something he could recommend to help. His response was to laugh at me and tell me, "You're not depressed, you're just a teenager."
Following that I told my parents I wanted to switch doctors and I closed back up about my emotions. It took years of self-destructive behavior before I tried to seek help again all because that guy was a d**k when I was feeling very vulnerable.
#37
It wasn't so much what they said to me, but the ER staff made me wait 6 hours with a dead organ inside me acting like I was being a drama queen because I was in so much pain.
Edit: thank you to everyone who has reached out to wish me well or share their own story of overlooked and dismissed pain. I hope that you are all healed and doing well.
To the people telling me it's not that bad because I didn't have a heart attack or stroke or I'm not dead, I hope that your innards don't just up and die inside of you, that would be terrible.
#38
To my wife, about 8 weeks pregnant at a oncologist office after on/gyn saw a polyp she wanted someone to look at:
Dr: you need to have a hysterectomy immediately
Us: shouldn’t we wait till the biopsy results comeback?
Dr: no. In my opinion if you want to live you need to have a hysterectomy immediately.
Turns out it was benign. Discoloration is normal for Pacific Islanders during pregnancy. A*****e got results
From biopsy next day, we were’t told results till
Following week.
Edit: to those who asked, we waited. Our son Is almost 16 now. And never saw that doctor again. (Knew he received biopsy results next day because MIL was a dr also and pathologist who did the biopsy ended up being a friend).
Edited first edit to fix typo and explain a little better. We decided to wait the week for biopsy report and looking into getting a second opinion.
#39
Dr.: *Glances at my [private parts]* You have Herpes.
Me: But I've never had s*x!
Dr.: Oh, stop crying. I diagnose this all the time. It's pretty common.
Me: But aren't you going to at least do a test
Dr.: Fine, but it's going to hurt and it's going to show herpes.
[Indeed, it was an allergic reaction to a medication.]
#40
I went to the doctor's office as a child because I was terribly ill and throwing up.
The doctor asked if school exams were coming up.
I said yes.
She simply said "Mmmhmm, that explains it then." and then she rolled her eyes.
#41
When I had a kidney stone:
Why did you come to the ER?? Why didn’t you take Tylenol or something? This is a waste of resources
He made me cry :(.
#42
Not psychologically hurtful necessarily, but the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been told...
“We’re going to have to defibrillate you and we don’t have time to sedate you.”
They rolled the crash cart with paddles into my room and I said “Get that thing the f*** away from me!” and almost cried. My mom was in the room with me and was absolutely hysterical.
Thankfully a cardiologist was able to look at my EKG in the nick of time and determined my heart rhythm was stable enough for me to just be transferred to a room for further evaluation without defibrillation.
#43
“You aren’t going to die over the weekend or anything!”
I hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink in 6 days or so, other than sucking on ice. Turns out I had burned a hole in my throat and had to be admitted to hospital the next week. The doctor who told me this said that I was in pain because of my diet and that I should go vegetarian...
Edit: so many of you are asking what medication it was. We think it was caused by a mild antibiotic prescribed for acne.
Edit 2: I didn’t have a hole going all the way through by body or anything like that, but my esophagus had a hole in it that was black and necrotic. I was scoped at the hospital so I have a photo somewhere but I’m sure I’ve lost it at this point. I had to be put on morphine to be able to eat for the first time. Docs wanted me on a feeding tube and I was on IV fluids for two days.
Oh and screw anyone who is saying I did this to myself. I was a teenager when this happened and not one person warned me. None of the doctors or pharmacists said a word about me needing to be cautious.
#44
When I was 21 I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks me to lift my shirt and I do. He immediately says "egh" and makes a look of disgust on his face. I was an idiot and was gaining weight too quickly, due to this I had stretch marks. I've lost the weight and am normal weight now but I still can't shake that moment. This was 8 years ago.
#45
I was in extreme pain. I asked for a refill on my narcotic prescription. My family doctor accused me of selling the pills. It was my first time asking for a refill and the last time I went to her office.
#46
I started going to a dentist that had come highly recommended by a few different people. When I asked him about the possibility of straightening my front teeth, he said “Well, you’ll never be on the cover of Vogue, but I think we can help you out”.
I stopped going to him a few appointments later when he got mad at me for telling him that the filling he did months ago still really hurt.
#47
Doctor told me there was nothing she could do for my mom's "lung cancer." Ends the conversation with "what do you expect? The woman smoked!" Scoffed and walked out.
My mom quit 20 years before any of this.
I seen lung cancer before in other family members and I knew that's not what it was. I made the decision to have an autopsy done. Turns out the woman had breast cancer. Not lung. The unfortunate part was they didnt realize until too late that her heart was failing and they were unable to do exploratory procedures.
#49
Pregnant women have to take lots of blood tests. I was married and knew my husband and trusted him. Dr. told me I had an STD. I said I didn't and that his test was wrong, I didn't have any of those symptoms. Doctor ignored me and wrote me a prescription. Husband was in the car during my physical exam. I get in the car crying, because the doctor wouldn't listen to me and had hinted that hubby had cheated and given me an STD. I'm not concerned about hubby cheating because he's the most stand up guy ever, and he didn't take kindly to the doctor ignoring me and making me cry.
Irate hubby goes back into clinic and demands the lab test him right then and there. He's a brick house of a dude so he surely scared the pants off the lab technician.
Hubby calls for results (which they aren't supposed to give out on the phone) and they tell him. His test is negative.
Go back in for next check up. I'm just a body to him apparently because he rushes in, doesn't even look up from his chart. "And did you finish that course of medication?"
I pull the prescription out of my purse. "I didn't even take it."
He looks up then, annoyed. I tell doc how he rushes in and out of appointments and doesn't listen, that I told him I didn't have that STD. Told him hubby is negative and I need to be re-tested.
"How do you know he doesn't have it?"
"Because he came right in here and took a test the day you told me. He called and got his results. "
"They aren't supposed to tell someone over the phone! You mean to tell me your husband punked the lab into giving him his results?!!"
"Sure did!"
After he processed that info and apologized for how he'd ignored me, he ordered another blood test. Of course, I was clean and there must have been a mix up somewhere. I found a new doctor and had a healthy baby girl.
Tl:dr... doctor insists i'm sick, i'm not, he's wrong, i'm right, hubby goes ham, tests prove me right, doc apologizes. Healthy baby.
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