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49 Times Doctors Didn’t Take Their Patients Seriously And Gaslit Them Instead
Imagine going to the doctor in excruciating pain, only to be told "it's all in your head," "it's normal" or "don't be dramatic." That's not the response you were expecting, nor the one you needed. You leave, feeling unheard, unhelped and still in pain.
There's a phrase for this: it's called medical gaslighting, and it's happening more often than many of us realize. This dismissive type of treatment by doctors and other healthcare providers is not just frustrating—it can be downright dangerous too.
For some patients, the consequences might be life-altering, or even fatal: a missed diagnosis of cancer, a rare disease left untreated for years, a psychiatric label slapped onto a very real physical illness, the loss of a baby, trauma.
People have been sharing their very real, and horrifying, experiences of being gaslit by the medical experts that were meant to help them, and Bored Panda has put together a list of the most hard-hitting ones. Some of the stories are sad; others are shocking. All show that there's a real need for change. Because listening to patients - like, really listening - isn’t just about showing compassion and professionalism. It's about saving lives.
Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.
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#1
This happened over a decade ago, when I was in first year university (and 17 - important).
I had sudden and severe "stomach" pains on a Tuesday morning that got progressively worse. Used the old school res phone to call someone to call for medical help. Firefighters showed up first, I could barely walk. I had to walk down 6 flights of stairs and threw up from the pain.
Paramedics didn't take me seriously. They kept asking if I had been drinking. I got to the hospital and they just left me there (in the waiting room, alone, as a minor). I passed out from the pain and woke up to my mom raising h**l (hour drive to get to me). Doctors said it was "just gas".
Turns out I had an ovarian cyst that burst. It was the worst pain I've felt in my life and I've gone through childbirth.
"Lose weight," they said, when in fact it was a massive tumor growing inside her. It's stories like these that reveal the horror of being dismissed by your doctor, the very person you are meant to trust with your life - quite literally.
“Medical gaslighting” is a term used to describe instances where healthcare providers ignore, dismiss or downplay the symptoms of their patients. It isn't necessarily intentional or nefarious, notes Self.com. But it can still lead to harm, or even death.
Do you suspect your doctor is gaslighting you? You might be right. Keep scrolling to find out the signs, and learn what you can do about it.
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#2
Yes!
When I had my baby via c section, two days after surgery- a nurse convinced me the pain I felt was normal even though I was screaming and crying in pain, she told me I was being dramatic and told me to “stop crying”- turns out I was haemorrhaging inside and the pain was very real.
#3
For almost five years— until I told them that if they kept refusing the MRI for my uterus that they would have to start noting it in my chart and I would file a complaint. They found stage 4 endometriosis 🙃 and I had to be transferred to a specialty hospital for surgery.
Certain people are more at risk of experiencing medical gaslighting than others. “Those that experience the most medical harms are always going to be the people who are sitting at the margins,” says Chelsey R. Carter, an assistant professor of public health at Yale School of Public Health.
Carter says you're at risk of becoming a victim of medical gaslighting if you don’t fit the stereotype of what a doctor thinks a person with a certain disease or symptoms “should” look like.
For example, a survey of Black people with ALS found that they often struggled to convince their healthcare providers that something was seriously wrong. “People think of ALS as a ‘white man’s disease,’” Carter revealed. And when experts allow these stereotypes to take over, ordinary people can suffer.
#4
Oh, I once was told I had just a “virus” and to get some rest. 2 visits to my PCP and another 2-3 to urgent care before I gave in and went to the ER. At each visit I was made to feel dramatic and my BP was getting bigger and higher so I was told I needed to “rest and meditate”. ER doc begrudgingly ordered labs, I had a severe kidney infection, almost septic level 😒.
#5
I was 25 pounds underweight and only 22 when my gallbladder literally just died inside me. It didn’t malfunction, it was black when they finally removed it. I was told for months that “skinny, young women don’t get this” & even was recommended for a psych evaluation because they thought I was trying to get pain meds. If my father hadn’t demanded they actually look due to family history, I could have gone into septic shock.
#6
I was told I faked a miscarriage for attention. The on call OBGYN at emergency reported them.
So how do you know you're being medically gaslit? According to self.com, there are certain "red flags" to take note of when seeking attention for your symptoms. These include your doctor frequently interrupting you or seeming to come to a conclusion before you’ve even finished sharing your symptoms.
They might also ignore any other possible causes, even when treatments don’t help. An obvious one is when a professional minimizes or downplays your symptoms. Maybe they seem skeptical or question whether you’re telling the truth. And of course, some might "attribute your symptoms to generic things, like mental health or weight, or say they are a 'natural part of aging,'" reads the site.
#7
Yes I went to the ER. Explained I'm bleeding a lot and think I'm having a miscarriage, along with severe chest and right shoulder pain. They sent me home saying the pregnancy is normal and gave me breathing exercises for chest pain from "anxiety". I went back bc something wasn't right. It was a missed ectopic pregnancy. I was bleeding internally bc it was ruptured. I needed immediate emergency surgery. I lost the baby, as well as 2l of blood in the OR and a fallopian tube.
Reports show the first pregnancy ultrasound findings were NOT normal. They gave me Tylenol which I told them I took before coming. I told them it's not touching the pain. I was moaning in pain. I said id go through labor pain again and i meant it. A nurse who wasn't mine came in saying THREE TIMES "you've already been medicated" and when I said at the end of my first visit "I feel bloated is there something I can have for that" they said "we wouldn't know what to give you bc you're pregnant."
#8
Sadly.
From February 2018 until October 14, 2018. That’s when the doctor confirmed I had the specific cancer I suspected based on my research.
When he approved the final test he said, “I know this is going to come back negative, but I see you aren’t going to let this go.”
Always trust and advocate for yourself.
#9
I got told by my gp that I shouldn’t create a 3D head and paint it to show the different pain and sites of pain from my migraine attacks to show the neurologist because she thought it would make me look “manic”. Neurologist loved it and took photos to show her other patients and neuro team. I’m a visual person, I create things for a living and this helped me explain my experience better to the doctor trying to help. That gp is no longer on my team.
To protect yourself from falling victim to medical gaslighting, the experts advise that you prepare well before your healthcare appointment. "It’s good to know exactly which points you want to hit with your doctor before you see them," associate professor in medicine at Duke University School of Medicine Keisha Bentley-Edwards told SELF.
Keep your symptoms concise, adds oncologist Dr. Neil Iyengar. He recommends sticking to the top three concerning points that you’d like to address and not reciting a whole bunch of things. Having a timeline of when your problems started and when your symptoms occur can also help.
#10
Yes! I kept telling them something was wrong with my baby - his head was growing odd and he would not stop screaming or crying and only slept total of 1-2 hrs A DAY EACH DAY for months. They kept telling me to put a cap on his head and it would shape. After going back four times, I requested someone outside of the office in the same practice to evaluate him. Turns out he had sagital craniosynostosis. The constant crying, screaming and lack of sleep? Yep, it was due to the pain and pressure he felt from his skull pressing down onto his brain. Had they listened to me the first time he would have had a non invasive surgery but because months had passed they had to do a full open head surgery at 6 months. He is now 8 yrs old today.
#11
This was at least 5 years back and in London, but I once was hacking up a lung so hard I was seeing stars. I held off as long as I could because I was in my first few weeks at a new job, and when I finally went to a walk-in, I was told it was acid reflux... I then asked her if she was sure, which she very clearly didn't like. I went to another clinic the next day where they told me I had a sinus, lung, and ear infection and put me on a ton of antibiotics. I really do feel like that acid reflux diagnosis was purely because of my weight.
#12
Paramedics said it was just a headache & said to calm down but agreed grudgingly to take me to A&E. Nurses kept asking what drugs I’d taken then ignored me for several hours. Even when I begged for help. Doctor realised I’d not even had a paracetamol, did a brain scan which revealed a brain heamorrhage & that I was dying. Then everyone started paying attention.
If you suspect you're being gaslit, or you have a nagging feeling you've been misdiagnosed, do not be afraid to seek a second opinion. Most importantly, trust your intuition.
“If you feel like you're not being heard and things are not being taken seriously, you’re probably right,” Iyengar warns, adding that “what's really important is that you trust your physician, and that you trust that you’re being heard.”
#13
I gave birth in April 2022 and had upper stomach pain so bad to the point where I was doubled over and couldn't breathe or move. I brought it up to Dr Tomc who was my OB.
Everytime I brought anything abnormal to him he said it was normal and dismissed me.
Went to another doctor who referred me for imaging and turns out it was gallstones.
#14
Yes , my wife and I were expecting our first born when we came into the OB triage with my wife explaining she had consistent contractions every 4 minutes or so , and the nurse shut her down saying if you were able to walk up in here and not in a wheelchair chair screaming of pain you’re probably not due for another 24 hours hun” and told her to go home and come back when the pain is that bad. (Mind you my wife has a high pain tolerance ) we ended up back in the hospital 3 hours later and our baby boy was born and ironically the same nurse was there and proceeded to act like this was a one in a million type of case .. but yeah it was our first born but now that I know more about pregnancies I will not tolerate that [nonsense] we faced , and my son spent 5 days in the NICU due to how long he stayed in there ..
#15
I fell down a flight of stairs. I couldn't move when I hit the bottom. I knew that I had seriously hurt myself. I have severe osteoporosis, so a fall like that could cause some serious problems. My brother called an ambulance. In the meantime, I sat on the floor, not able to even take a deep breath without extreme pain. I sat there for over 12 hours b4 the ambulance showed. I told them what happened, and I knew I needed to be carried out of there. I was in the basement, so having had to be carried out of there before, I knew they would have to get their chair lift thingy for going up and down stairs. I pleaded with them. There was no way that I could stand up and walk, let alone go up a flight of stairs!
They refused to help me, telling me that they couldn't get me up the stairs, so I had to get up and do it myself. I screamed the entire way. The pain was excruciating. I made it to the stretcher and got to the er, where they left me in the hallway for another 12 hours without any pain relief. Many hours later, I get sent for exrays, etc, and then a few more hours after, a doctor shows up and says there were no broken bones, and then she made me stand and show her one step. So I did...at this point, I just wanted to go home. Again, I screamed when doing that. She sent me home telling me it wasn't that bad... I went to my np the next day. I had to use my 85-year-old father's walker. So she sent me for more x-rays. About a week later, she called me back in. I fractured my spine in 3 places. You could see them clearly on the exrays. This was at Met hospital for any1 concerned. Horrible experience, and def not the 1st time that I have been medically gaslit. It's runs rampant in this city!
#16
Abnormal bleeding in my 50’s. Oh,it’s just peri-menopause. We’ll just put you on birth control. A year and a half later with no further testing, even though I asked for it, turns out I had uterine cancer.
#17
Yep, spent months going to my (female) doctor with chest pain. She said it was anxiety, stress, acid reflux. It was actually coronary vasospasms. I had a heart attack at 41. She said she was sorry 🙄 f*** that s***. I will walk out of an appointment now if someone dismisses what I’m saying.
#18
Went to a walk-in clinic by myself when I was 17 because of a severe soar throat. Hadn’t eaten in days and could no longer drink. Male nurse who took my vitals looked in my mouth and told me everything was fine. He was rude and dismissive. Doctor came in a few minutes later, took a look and said my tonsils had ruptured.
#19
Absolutely! I was told for years that my mood swings and anxiety would ease up once I was older. They blamed it on being a moody teenager then as an adult my hormones being out of whack. Took until I was 27 to find out I was actually bipolar. Once I found out got the right medicine, therapy and started trying my hardest to be my best self I felt so much better. I’m more than my diagnosis.
I can also say that my endometriosis I was gaslit and STILL am being gaslit. I was just told my pelvic pain was because I was overweight. I hate doctors.
#20
I'd say the 9 years it took to finally diagnose me with endometriosis speak for themselves, but I have one that somehow burns more.
I had been sick with a cold for about a week, my throat was heavily inflamed, and I had a weird neck pain that would make my head twitch. I go to what we call a "Permanence", a 24h doctor place because it was the weekend and GPs don't work on the weekend. I get tested and the doctor, an older guy (go figure) tells me there's nothing and that I should just free my nose with saltwater. It's just before Christmas, I spend the holidays still kinda sick, no fever but feeling exhausted.
Fast forward to January 1st, I get fever again and this time it's high. It doesn't go down with usual meds so the next day I decide to go to a different Permanence (2nd Jan is bank holiday here) to make sure I don't see that guy again. It's pretty full and it takes hours, but it's finally my turn. The doctor, a woman this time, takes my temperature. It's 40°C (104F), she is alarmed. She gets me tested fast and gives me something strong to make the temperature go down.
Turns out I had a bacterial infection but because the priority was to take my temp down, now that I'm medicated they can't run further tests to find out which bacteria. I get generic antibiotics and they send me home. She was appalled at my tale of what the first doctor did. Oh, and the head twitch? A lymph node so big, it touched a nearby nerve. But all was fine...
I shall add, the first guy noticed I had low iron, I said "Yes, it's because of my endometriosis, I get heavy periods and this is the result". He shook his head and basically said it was b*******. The only medication he gave me that day was iron supplements. I don't want to say this happened because I'm a woman...but I kind of feel that's why the first doctor, a man, sent me home with a bacterial infection so strong it made my head twitch.
#21
It was years ago, but I had to go to the hospital on ouellette for a mental health related issue and the Dr I ended up getting told me that depression isn't a real thing, the chemical imbalance isn't real, and no medication will do anything and that I should try church instead.
#22
I (38F) had a pain in my side that didn't feel normal so I went to a walk in clinic. Lovely lady doctor informed me that it was my appendix and I needed to go to the emergency room ASAP. She even gave me a form she filled out with the diagnosis to give to the ER.
At the ER they had me wait for quite a while as one does at the er in windsor. Honestly I was f******* out with all the horror stories of that being potentially fatal if left too long.
Once I got called up they asked me if was pregnant. I told them no. They asked me if I was sure. I told them yes. I have not been sexually active.
They refused to believe I wasn't pregnant and that it was my appendix. Im not overweight. They ran approx 7 pregnancy tests on me. Finally after 6 or so hours they sent me for a CT scan which showed it was I fact my appendix. It was middle of the night by that point. They had to call in the surgeon for emergency surgery.
#23
Twice.
First time I knew there was something growing inside me that shouldn't be there. My primary care physician dismissed it as a "fat lump". It was a grapefruit sized ovarian cyst that reached melon size before I finally got diagnosed.
Second time, I knew something was very wrong with my brain. My primary care provider dismissed it as anxiety, perimenopause, and poor lifestyle habits. It was cerebral vasculitis and I had a stroke before finally being diagnosed.
#24
I’ve spent years trying to tell several doctors that I was trying to lose weight but after a few weeks of working out the usual workout pain was not going away and just increasing. So they told me to lose weight to help with the pain but wouldn’t help me with the pain to make me able to get moving and lose that weight. I finally switched family doctors who got me hooked up with a Pain Care Clinic and an awesome doctor that understands my pain and we are working through it. But it took 8 years of me constantly being turned away, being told my pain was because I was fat and the only way it would go away is if I lost weight but I was never able to get through the pain to work out.
#25
Would being told my back wasn’t broken, and that I simply had road rash when hit by a car and then made to have to beg for an MRI because nobody thought it was broken count? Oh yeah and then finding out while still hospitalized 2 weeks later that my foot (that I was also told was fine) was fractured as well?! 😆.
#26
Got told it was just anxiety after developing non epileptic seizures last year, turns out it was lupus restricting blood flow to my brain 🙃.
#27
I went to the doctor because I was cramping, spotting and feeling nauseous - I was on a hormonal coil which stopped my periods so this was very odd.
The doctor told me having a one off period isn’t unusual and sent me home with light pain relief.
Two days later I was in A&E because my coil had migrated and was embedded in me 😳.
#28
Yes. Doc was trying to convince me I had been had been touched as a child and didn't remember it. Turns out it was actually brain cancer.
#29
Constantly, every visit. Spent the last 2 years arguing with my doc that something was wrong - changed antidepressants, got given another one, of course it's all in my head or maybe if I just lost weight.....
Then I found out I needed an iron infusion, then started on HRT for perimenopause, and now like 90% of those earlier symptoms are gone. Being a woman [is bad].
#30
Absolutely. Misdiagnosed and undiagnosed for 5 to 7 years before a doctor gave up and said, "There's nothing actually wrong with you. I think we should try Prozac," when in fact I had been experiencing grand mal seizures in my sleep and focal seizures during the day. Not only could all the gaslighting have k**led me, but it put others in danger (because, you know, driving).
#31
I had this happen to me when I was in my 20’s and that was when I learned to advocate for myself. It happens for a lot of reasons. I had a pulmonary embolism when I was 21 and my family doctor said that my symptoms could be one and it’s best to get a CT scan, because untreated it’s fatal. He said if the pain got worse to go to emergency.
When I did, I was told by the ER doctor that I don’t have any risk factors for a PE and he refused to do a CT scan. He did a blood test which i was advised by my doctor that was not accurate for diagnosis and can produce false negatives. When I said this, the ER doctor had the gall to say and I quote, “maybe he can’t tell from a blood test but I can”. I will never forget. He diagnosed me with a muscle spasm and sent me home. If I didn’t have someone advocate for me that day - I would’ve died. To this day, I would walk out of the hospital before being treated by this doctor again.
#32
Yup. For 7 months straight, I puked profusely every morning as soon as I got up, until usually early afternoon when the nausea would subside. Other end as well. So bucket in my arms while also on the toilet.
I lost a total of 30lbs and was at 85lbs by the end of it. I kept going to the ER, urgent care trying to get to the bottom of this. Thousands in medical bills. They never found anything and suggested it was my nerves.
Ran a pregnancy test every time even though I wasn't sexually active & I told them this every single time. I would get, "Are you SURE?" Yes... I would think I'd know if I was having s*x.
I couldn't afford to keep going to the hospital trying to figure this out. I did my own research & ended up curing myself.
I cut out ALL sugars. Everything. As well as taking probiotic capsules. I did this for 2 months and an extra 2 weeks just to make sure I properly reset my digestive system.
Haven't had an issue since. It took forever to get my weight back on, though.
jillian_rose87:
Yes, the pregnancy test every time despite being married (and monogamous) with a cis woman for a decade didn’t dissuade them ever.
xzuka88x:
It is so degrading. "we're not going to take your word for it and run the pregnancy test anyhow because absolutely NOTHING ELSE could POSSIBLY cause chronic nausea" 🙄Surely, plenty of men come in with nausea, diarrhea, and stomach pains as well. The first thought isn't running a pregnancy test.However, these clowns ran it every single f******* time and even had the audacity to announce to me "well, you're not pregnant." DUH. I knew this. So get to the root of the issue and run some labs!
#33
So many times always a male doctor. Once one told me I needed to get married to my abusive bf and that would put an end to my hives, panic attacks and celiac disease.
#34
I'm in the UK. A female doctor told me that the gut pains I was having was due to IBS and she wouldn't do anything further to help. Moved house and went to a new doctor, she arranged a full range of tests and they found a 2.5xm gallstone!
#35
Menopause. I was 39 and had no estrogen. Was told I was ‘within normal ranges’… An OB-GYN told me, ‘have you ever seen menopausal women? They all have big bellies and hate their husbands. This is natural’
My response?
SO ARE HEART ATTACKS, but we f** treat them, don’t we?!
#36
My husband and I both have had this happen three times with s**t consequences.
He had multiple years of blood in his stool and was told it was “likely hemorrhoids” (which he was not examined for) and turned out to be colon cancer (a few months before our wedding).
Then six years later I get diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma after going to the doctor for years with symptoms that I was told not to worry about. Was only diagnosed because my bil (who’s is a surgeon) arranged for a CT and biopsy.
Now 17 years later my husband finds a swollen lymph node on the side of his neck our doctor orders an ultrasound but he retires right after it was done. It said it was likely inflammation but suggested a revisit in a couple of months if it is still there. A few months later eventually find a new primary care provider and have to request that we get this re-scanned. Now ultrasound says it hasn’t grown much but that there are several nodes bilaterally. Our spidey senses are up.
We’ve been here before, but family doc just says “don’t worry about it”. Luckily my bil helps us (again) and arranges a biopsy. The lymph node that was “nothing” was actually non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. If the ultrasound had simply gone a little lower than just the neck it would have seen a bunch of supraclavicular nodes that have no business being there. He’s in treatment now and I’m glad we pushed and trusted our gut.
#37
Yes! Argued with my primary care provider for a year, telling her my gallbladder was messed up. It hurt where my gallbladder was. She told me it was my depression (which wasn't even a diagnosis I had). Finally switched Drs, had the gallbladder test, it was literally functioning at 0%... gallbladder was removed the same week. I joke that I was so depressed that my gallbladder stopped working. It added to my existing medical trauma and anxiety and I always feel like a hypochondriac now.
#38
Yes, when my gynecologist blew off my symptoms as gastrointestinal, when I directly asked him if it could it be cancer. The Emergency room doctor had to tell me I had ovarian cancer! My primary blew me off too. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
#39
Especially happens to women of a “certain age”. Saw two specialists who both brushed off my issues with “lose weight”. It’s appalling.
#40
Consistently 😭
I gave my last Dr. the whole *21 page report* from a Psychologist about my ADHD+Autism diagnosis- which included lots of detail about why they gave me both diagnoses- and still didn't believe me because after growing up with severe untreated mental health issues, I'd been to 3 different psychiatrists.
He said, "No, you have BPD, all of the symptoms were just that." And then when I saw his office's psychiatrist, he didn't even tell her to screen for ADHD 🤷🏻 they both told me that because I had adverse effects to Concerta, there's *no way* I could have ADHD.
(I'm now currently on Vyvanse and been *thriving*🤙🏻❤️🩹).
#41
I went to the doctor because I was having trouble swallowing and breathing and she said oh, you have a small hiatal hernia. I said I've had it for years. I need my esophagus stretched. She refused to refer me to a GI doctor. I called a general surgeon myself. He ran a light down my throat and immediately scheduled surgery for the next week to repair my hiatal hernia that a softball would fit through and put my stomach back in my abdomen because it was literally in my chest. I need a new doctor.
#42
Yes! Severe chronic headaches. He gave me a few different headache meds. They didn't work. Told me they were rebound headaches from taking too many meds. Did a CT scan. It came up fine. He then insisted I was making it up. I changed doctors (female btw). She immediately ordered an MRI. After 7 years of this cr*p I found out that I had Chiari malformation! It's not common, but certainly not considered rare. The ahole.
#43
Every visit. I have Ehlers Danlos, AuDHD, MCAS, and a laundry list of issues... I'm just a hypochondriac. Nothing wrong with me at all. Just want to be "special." 🤬
#44
I once told a revered “spine specialist” (an actual MD) that when I’d breathe a certain way it sent electrical pulses down through my right foot
He told me, “That’s not a thing. You should stop telling people that because they’ll think you’re crazy.”
That’s basically word for word what he said.
#45
Had 3 miscarriages.
Went to Dr to ask what was going on. They said it was anxiety and sent me home with ibuprofen.
Gave birth to my beans in the bathtub, alone and in pain.
Rip my babies.
#46
Was told I was fine when my knee was as big as my head and her son did the same thing and he’s fine. 3 years later, after going through other clinics to get help, I had a knee surgery to repair all the damage she said wasn’t there.
#47
Was constantly passed off as “overweight” and “combative”, I just recently received a diagnosis for PCOS— as well as autism :) Canadian doctors and USA alike (also been treated there) are diabolical and also do not respect LGBTQSIA+ :) The amount of times I’m asked for my preferred name and pronouns only to be referred to as a female and my dead name is disgusting.
#48
I was with my bladder cancer and my dr., being the best in Windsor, told me it was nothing and in my head.
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