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Tinder and Bumble aren't anything new. Decades ago, we had videocassette dating services. And as early as the 1700s, lonely bachelors searched for wives through printed ads. However, by the looks of it, today's singles would've had a hard time getting a match even in the old days.

Internet personality Aubry Andrews recently tweeted a screenshot of a guy's online dating profile. The self-described open-minded fellow had 14 demands for women, many of which were contradicting each other. For example, his perfect candidate must make at least $100K but at the same be available 6 days a week.

Satire or not, even elite mountaineers couldn't reach such high standards. So as you might imagine, people immediately started reacting to the picture, creating one heck of a funny thread. Continue scrolling to check out the replies and upvote your favorite ones!

#1

Tinder

Ginger_ninja163 Report

WordWeaver
Community Member
4 years ago

Delusional.

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    #2

    Twitter

    jake_fluekiger Report

    LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    How can you be above 5'9'' but below 120 pounds?

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    #3

    Tinder

    Minister_Cocoa Report

    Rebecca O’Donnell
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago

    🤣🤣🤣

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    #4

    Twitter

    thelibbiegrant Report

    niinque (they/them)
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I'm gonna go out a limb here and say it: I'm 5'9" (had to look it up, it's 176cm) and 115lbs (around 52kg). I am not severely malnourished, I eat decently, have a very fast metabolism and I regularly exercise. Of course I'm nowhere near curvy and my ideal weight is a bit higher, but having always struggled with gaining weight and the perception other people have of me, I find it hard to read to be defined as skeletal and unable to move... bodies are all differently built, the demands of the guy are absurd for sure but people do come in all shapes and sizes!

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    #5

    Tinder

    JennieTetreault Report

    S Mi
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    *and* makes 100k

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    #6

    Tinder

    xbabykittyrose Report

    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I have a friend in early 30s. She is not married. A colleague of hers(same age)told her that he would prefer to marry someone around 23-24 and never someone my friend's age(or his own)because it would be difficult to mould someone her age as they have their opinions and views regarding everything and it won't be easy to mould someone that age.

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    #7

    Tinder

    ababytino Report

    1.21Gigawatts?!
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    That face 😂

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    #8

    Tinder

    SaraBrower7 Report

    Hello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Ouch.

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    #9

    Tinder

    FossilLocator Report

    ADDee
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Incelfish

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    #10

    Tinder

    not_the_Supeme Report

    Sareaesque
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    grooming 101, cut off possible support groups

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    #11

    Tinder

    erod550 Report

    Notyomama
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This should be higher.

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    #12

    Tinder

    LolaDreaD Report

    Hello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    A very good thing.

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    #13

    Tinder

    jmwaib Report

    Pascale Pierloot
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    A pot of pickled peppers...

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    #14

    Tinder

    Kurisitaru Report

    WordWeaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    I agree with you about marriage.

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    #15

    Tinder

    PulleyCd Report

    WordWeaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Maybe an inflatable one. The posting is only so he whine "Poor me!" to his incel mates.

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    #16

    Tinder

    trend_sarah Report

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    He forgot to write that he is a nice guy too.

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    #17

    Tinder

    dracsucks Report

    WordWeaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Ewww!

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    #18

    Tinder

    fakepalles Report

    Hello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    True.

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    #19

    Tinder

    JohnSteiner32 Report

    Java Addict
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Pets would take attention away from him.

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    #20

    Tinder

    Liryns Report

    KJ
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    He wishes he was as cute as a dog, unique looking but I'm 100% sure it's better than him.

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    #21

    Tinder

    ThatOneAuthor Report

    ADDee
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Do you think his mommy meets those criteria 🤔

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    #22

    Tinder

    AhnaNemus Report

    Curtis Dahl
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Seriously, I'm 6'1 200ish lbs and some would say I'm skinny

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    #23

    Tinder

    Sulphuric_Aceid Report

    begging for ham
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    rob a bank maybe

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    #24

    Twitter

    OutlawWitch Report

    ADDee
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    He’s living in a*****e incel land.

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    #25

    Tinder

    bexone Report

    Trisha Howson
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Yes

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    #26

    Tinder

    NotMaryJoLisa Report

    Ansi
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    But good taste in everything else. 😲

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    #27

    Tinder

    atomicpenguin7 Report

    WordWeaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Yes - then he can complain to his incel mates about hw no women are good enough for him.

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    #28

    Tinder

    aurrynthea Report

    rspanther
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    But he can't afford one.

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    #29

    Tinder

    jeetkuen666 Report

    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    A southpaw is someone who is left handed btw

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    #30

    Tinder

    Ellico2020 Report

    niinque (they/them)
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Nothing wrong with living with your parents if they can help you out, especially with the current housing situation (Paul is still s**t tho)

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    #31

    Tinder

    FortGeek Report

    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    🎶Here comes the bride all fat and wide, here comes the groom skinny as a broom🎶 (This is a mock here comes the bride song, I would never sing it in an inappropriate setting)

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    #32

    Tinder

    bandosparks Report

    JMil
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago

    At least during his video game breaks.

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    #33

    Tinder

    amypenprase Report

    Annemarie Mattheyse
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Same. I think I was last that weight when I was 19 and depressed. It's not a sexy look.

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    #34

    Tinder

    timsbrannan Report

    -
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Literally a monitor, a keyboard, and a bowl of ramen noodles.

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    #35

    Tinder

    BondNathan_007 Report

    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    It’s practically a communist parade. 🚩🚩🚩

    #36

    Tinder

    Ricardo_Gozinya Report

    Jess
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    It took me 44 previous tweets to get annoyed enough of not understanding these numbers to actually google it. So if you're a similar potat, here you go -> 175.26 cm and 56,69 kg ;)

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    #37

    Twitter

    Max_is_lost Report

    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Yeah, TOTALLY fine (/s)

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    #38

    Tinder

    MikeDaltonBooks Report

    allison
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Pretty sure NY or Paris models have friends and/or pets.

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    #39

    Tinder

    toomanycommas3 Report

    -
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Not even a VS model - most are over the hill by his standards.

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    #40

    Tinder

    shaindelr Report

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Models have pets and friends, so even they are out!

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    #41

    Tinder

    pen_sorcery Report

    Agent 8433599
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    Finally! Another Hobbit!! Everybody I know is so tall (off topic, I know)

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    #42

    Tinder

    katamongpigeons Report

    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    It’s actually ≤125, it would be slightly better if it was >125, but still 🚩🚩🚩

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    #43

    Tinder

    MSXenix Report

    Suzanne Tilson
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And the pay is terrible

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    #44

    Tinder

    Scififootball Report

    ADDee
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Paul likes a good challenge. For him it’s like a hard level in a game 😏

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    #45

    Tinder

    Litebob_1 Report

    Zack Podany
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    The wages aren't, but the incels are.

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    #46

    Tinder

    sheologian Report

    Francine Govan
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    And how are you free at least 6 days a week whilst earning this +100K Salary????

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    #47

    Tinder

    DarkChaosComet Report

    LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    But that list is wayy more reasonable, as travelling and starting a family together are important goals. Also being funny and smart.

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    #48

    Tinder

    Camille_U_Adams Report

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    #49

    Twitter

    nik_eni Report

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    He needs one of those scammers from the Philippines, I am sure they can come up with lots of Photo's to fit that profile.

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    #50

    Twitter

    pcrritesgood Report

    Lady Goldberry
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Funny thing is, I'll bet if this tall, malnourished, high earning, friendless, petless gamer he thinks is out there for him turned up on his doorstep, his k**b would probably fall off in shock...

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    #51

    Tinder

    PizzaRaccoon Report

    Sarah Brown
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Well it's illegal to put "under 18". He needs them young so he can groom them

    #52

    Twitter

    JustMe_Danielle Report

    William Clapperson
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Hey, wait, is this guy using Brian Laundrie's kill list for Gabby Petito? Don't be surprised if he turns into an episode of ID TV Evil Lives Here. There were signs.....Anyone looking for someone that rich, unhealthy slim, with no friends or attachments has murder suspect written all over their face. Beware of the signs and RUN!! The life you save may be your own.

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    #53

    Tinder

    frankenvveenie Report

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Nope, This has been good for a giggle all the way through.

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    #54

    Tinder

    writerjencrow Report

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    Honest sense or just sense?