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Man Is Branded A ‘Monster’ For Choosing His Own Safety Over Saving The Bully Who Tormented Him
Man with peanut allergy choking and holding his throat, showing discomfort in a workplace setting.

Man Is Branded A ‘Monster’ For Choosing His Own Safety Over Saving The Bully Who Tormented Him

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Everyone’s intrusive thoughts take over from time to time. We imagine the karmic moment when the person who has been making your life miserable finally gets what’s coming to them. It’s a satisfying, if petty, daydream of a universe that finally balances the scales.

But rarely does this savage daydream become a real-life fight-or-flight situation unfolding right in front of you. What happens when you’re the only person who can save your nemesis, but saving them could literally end you? For the bullied office worker, that hypothetical moral dilemma just became his very real, very public lunch break.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    A life-threatening allergy is a constant battle, especially when other people don’t respect its severity

    Image credits: Sweet Life / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    A man with a severe peanut allergy was forced to watch a coworker, who mocked his condition, eat a peanut dessert in front of him

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    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    In a moment of unexpected karma, the coworker started to choke on the very food she had flaunted moments before

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    Image credits: pixel-shot.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Faced with a choice between saving her and risking his own life, he turned around and walked out of the room

    Image credits: ScaryRich8329

    She survived, but now his coworkers are calling him a monster for his seemingly cold reaction

    A man with a life-threatening, full-blown anaphylactic peanut allergy has spent his entire time at his current job in a state of high alert. He carries two EpiPens, he’s made sure everyone knows about his condition, and he’s even been hospitalized after a cross-contamination incident at the office. Yet one coworker, Linda (why is it always a Linda?), has always treated his insane allergy like he’s just being “dramatic.”

    One day, he walked into the break room, and his worst nightmare was unfolding as Linda was eating a peanut dessert. But then, in a twist of brutal, instantaneous karma, she started to choke. Actually choke. As his coworkers panicked, yelling and not knowing what to do, he, the one person in the room trained in the Heimlich maneuver, was frozen.

    His mind raced with a terrible, split-second calculation. Helping her meant getting close to the very allergen that could unalive him. It meant risking his own life for the woman who had repeatedly mocked and dismissed his condition, the woman who had made his workplace a minefield of anxiety. And in that moment, he made a choice. He turned around and walked out.

    He later found out that Linda was fine; she had coughed up the food. But now he’s the office pariah, a monster who “just stood there and walked out” while a coworker was choking. People are suggesting he could have just used his EpiPen “like it’s some kind of undo button.” He’s wrestling with a crushing guilt, wondering if he was ajerk for choosing his own life over the life of his tormentor.

    Image credits: asier_relampagoestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The OP was right to fear for his life so close to peanuts. Mayo Clinic explains that a severe peanut allergy can trigger anaphylaxis, a rapid and potentially fatal reaction where the airway closes. His previous hospitalization from simple cross-contamination proves that even minimal exposure is incredibly dangerous for him. His flight reaction kicked in for the right reasons.

    The coworkers’ suggestion that he “could have helped” ignores a fundamental rule of first aid. As the NHS and other first aid organizations make clear, the absolute first step in any emergency is to ensure your own safety. You cannot help someone else if you become a casualty yourself. By approaching a situation that could have triggered his own anaphylactic shock, he could have triggered a second medical emergency.

    The most damning part of the story is the coworkers’ suggestion that he could have just used his EpiPen “like it’s some kind of undo button.” This reveals a dangerous ignorance about what an EpiPen actually does. It is not a cure! It is a temporary, emergency treatment to buy a person time to get to a hospital. It’s a painful injection with significant side effects, and using it is much more than a casual inconvenience.

    Ultimately, this man was faced with a real-life version of the “trolley problem.” This thought experiment forces a choice between two terrible outcomes. In this case, he had to choose between the possibility of his coworker coming to harm and the very real possibility of his own. His decision to walk was a choice not to sacrifice his own life for the person who had repeatedly shown a callous disregard for it. Fair play!

    Do you think he was being unreasonable? Let us know what you would have done in the comments!

    The internet, however, unanimously declared him a hero who made the only rational choice

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    Louise Pieterse

    Louise Pieterse

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    What do you think ?
    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She brought peanuts despite the notice from HR. She might have died. No sympathy for her.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That office needs to ban peanuts period. Op has rights too, including using the break room. I grew up with a sister with allergies and they are no joke.

    Sylvain
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At this point her continuing to bring peanut based things is definitely harassment, and depending on her intent towards you a*****t up to attempted m****r. Protect yourself first, living is more important than people's opinions.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From now on you report to HR *every* incident of people (esp. Linda) bringing peanut-based foods into communal areas. Be the squeaky wheel.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An employment lawyer will sort this in 5mins. HR is never your friend and doesn't care if you drop dead unless it means the company can be sued from it.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts as well. Clearly HR doesn't care if the guy lives or not. Seems to me it could be an ADA issue.

    Load More Replies...
    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just look at them all and say, "Karma's a beech."

    Suzie
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Severe allergies and workplace accommodations are covered under the ADA. Banning peanuts in the office would be considered a reasonable accommodation.

    Lunar Rat
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a first aider and like one of the comments said, the first thing you do is ensure your own safety, if you can't safely perform first aid then you could end up with more casualties.

    Ali
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one makes me really sad. In that position I would have been much the same, but how on earth do you deal with the judgement of the co workers? Id definitely be prioritising finding another job.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As like the other post regarding nuts, if some is allergic to peanut,s NOTHING containing nuts should be allowed end off, the mere smell alone can k I l l someone ! this woman was bang outta order, n the others expecting him to risk his own life to save hers ,is l so wrong op NTA the others however huge A holes !

    Dusty's mom
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Epipens are NOT cures. They buy a little extra time. If someone around you has to use an Epipen, please call emergency services, because it still may not be enough. I have to keep Epipens around the house and in my purse. It's frightening!

    UKDeek
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The golden rule of dealing with any medical situation is always "safety first", in the order of the responder, patient, and anybody else. If you put yourself in any unsafe situation, then you are at risk of becoming a patient yourself, which means the emergency services now have two patients to deal with, rather than the one. In this situation I think the OP was more than justified in not assisting - he would not have been the only person who could offer assistance, and was at real risk of becoming a patient himself.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just say, "It looked like you all had it handled. There was no reason for me to risk my health for someone who has blatantly put my health at risk so many times. She's fine so I don't know why you're whining about this now?"

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always read these posts and can't help but to wonder about the incredible timing. Like, she just happens to choke at the exact time he's in the lunchroom grabbing his lunch, conveniently the only one trained in CPR, and it just so happens to be a day where she brought a peanut dessert in so he knows she's choking on peanuts. It all just seems too unlikely to me. I'll take my downvotes and leave now.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...OP could just use the epipen... And some of those concerned coworkers could have just stopped eating and done the Heimlich. Fruitloops.

    spacer
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the only ah comments here was op stating they dont want to teach others cpr because they had to pay for theirs omfg. i know cpr and if anyone wants to learn how to do i will tell them, its a basic skill i think everyone should be aware of, even just to keep someone alive until more help shows up. you never know when you are going to be on either side of that.

    Lisa
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so annoying when people have to say "throwaway account" when it's pretty obvious if you click on their profile. Also AITA is one of the most popular subs on reddit, and it's such a weirdly specific incident that if his coworkers do stumble across it, then they'll know anyways.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like battle to the death with the spectators favouring the peanut-toting lady. The OP's colleagues really do sound incredibly callous. So unnecessary. A former colleague of mine told off a man who was p*ssed off that he couldn't eat fish near someone with a deadly allergy.

    Eri J
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Understandable he didn't help. Still, s***s to have such a high allergy like that, but truth of the matter, you can't ban people from eating peanutes. More people need to learn what to do in chocking situations.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You absolutely can in a work place /even schools etc it’s in the health and safety laws , in uk they are very strict on this !,

    Load More Replies...
    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She brought peanuts despite the notice from HR. She might have died. No sympathy for her.

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That office needs to ban peanuts period. Op has rights too, including using the break room. I grew up with a sister with allergies and they are no joke.

    Sylvain
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At this point her continuing to bring peanut based things is definitely harassment, and depending on her intent towards you a*****t up to attempted m****r. Protect yourself first, living is more important than people's opinions.

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From now on you report to HR *every* incident of people (esp. Linda) bringing peanut-based foods into communal areas. Be the squeaky wheel.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An employment lawyer will sort this in 5mins. HR is never your friend and doesn't care if you drop dead unless it means the company can be sued from it.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts as well. Clearly HR doesn't care if the guy lives or not. Seems to me it could be an ADA issue.

    Load More Replies...
    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just look at them all and say, "Karma's a beech."

    Suzie
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Severe allergies and workplace accommodations are covered under the ADA. Banning peanuts in the office would be considered a reasonable accommodation.

    Lunar Rat
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a first aider and like one of the comments said, the first thing you do is ensure your own safety, if you can't safely perform first aid then you could end up with more casualties.

    Ali
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one makes me really sad. In that position I would have been much the same, but how on earth do you deal with the judgement of the co workers? Id definitely be prioritising finding another job.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As like the other post regarding nuts, if some is allergic to peanut,s NOTHING containing nuts should be allowed end off, the mere smell alone can k I l l someone ! this woman was bang outta order, n the others expecting him to risk his own life to save hers ,is l so wrong op NTA the others however huge A holes !

    Dusty's mom
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Epipens are NOT cures. They buy a little extra time. If someone around you has to use an Epipen, please call emergency services, because it still may not be enough. I have to keep Epipens around the house and in my purse. It's frightening!

    UKDeek
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The golden rule of dealing with any medical situation is always "safety first", in the order of the responder, patient, and anybody else. If you put yourself in any unsafe situation, then you are at risk of becoming a patient yourself, which means the emergency services now have two patients to deal with, rather than the one. In this situation I think the OP was more than justified in not assisting - he would not have been the only person who could offer assistance, and was at real risk of becoming a patient himself.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just say, "It looked like you all had it handled. There was no reason for me to risk my health for someone who has blatantly put my health at risk so many times. She's fine so I don't know why you're whining about this now?"

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always read these posts and can't help but to wonder about the incredible timing. Like, she just happens to choke at the exact time he's in the lunchroom grabbing his lunch, conveniently the only one trained in CPR, and it just so happens to be a day where she brought a peanut dessert in so he knows she's choking on peanuts. It all just seems too unlikely to me. I'll take my downvotes and leave now.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...OP could just use the epipen... And some of those concerned coworkers could have just stopped eating and done the Heimlich. Fruitloops.

    spacer
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the only ah comments here was op stating they dont want to teach others cpr because they had to pay for theirs omfg. i know cpr and if anyone wants to learn how to do i will tell them, its a basic skill i think everyone should be aware of, even just to keep someone alive until more help shows up. you never know when you are going to be on either side of that.

    Lisa
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so annoying when people have to say "throwaway account" when it's pretty obvious if you click on their profile. Also AITA is one of the most popular subs on reddit, and it's such a weirdly specific incident that if his coworkers do stumble across it, then they'll know anyways.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like battle to the death with the spectators favouring the peanut-toting lady. The OP's colleagues really do sound incredibly callous. So unnecessary. A former colleague of mine told off a man who was p*ssed off that he couldn't eat fish near someone with a deadly allergy.

    Eri J
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Understandable he didn't help. Still, s***s to have such a high allergy like that, but truth of the matter, you can't ban people from eating peanutes. More people need to learn what to do in chocking situations.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You absolutely can in a work place /even schools etc it’s in the health and safety laws , in uk they are very strict on this !,

    Load More Replies...
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