Man Is Branded A ‘Monster’ For Choosing His Own Safety Over Saving The Bully Who Tormented Him
Everyone’s intrusive thoughts take over from time to time. We imagine the karmic moment when the person who has been making your life miserable finally gets what’s coming to them. It’s a satisfying, if petty, daydream of a universe that finally balances the scales.
But rarely does this savage daydream become a real-life fight-or-flight situation unfolding right in front of you. What happens when you’re the only person who can save your nemesis, but saving them could literally end you? For the bullied office worker, that hypothetical moral dilemma just became his very real, very public lunch break.
More info: Reddit
A life-threatening allergy is a constant battle, especially when other people don’t respect its severity
Image credits: Sweet Life / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A man with a severe peanut allergy was forced to watch a coworker, who mocked his condition, eat a peanut dessert in front of him
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In a moment of unexpected karma, the coworker started to choke on the very food she had flaunted moments before
Image credits: pixel-shot.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Faced with a choice between saving her and risking his own life, he turned around and walked out of the room
Image credits: ScaryRich8329
She survived, but now his coworkers are calling him a monster for his seemingly cold reaction
A man with a life-threatening, full-blown anaphylactic peanut allergy has spent his entire time at his current job in a state of high alert. He carries two EpiPens, he’s made sure everyone knows about his condition, and he’s even been hospitalized after a cross-contamination incident at the office. Yet one coworker, Linda (why is it always a Linda?), has always treated his insane allergy like he’s just being “dramatic.”
One day, he walked into the break room, and his worst nightmare was unfolding as Linda was eating a peanut dessert. But then, in a twist of brutal, instantaneous karma, she started to choke. Actually choke. As his coworkers panicked, yelling and not knowing what to do, he, the one person in the room trained in the Heimlich maneuver, was frozen.
His mind raced with a terrible, split-second calculation. Helping her meant getting close to the very allergen that could unalive him. It meant risking his own life for the woman who had repeatedly mocked and dismissed his condition, the woman who had made his workplace a minefield of anxiety. And in that moment, he made a choice. He turned around and walked out.
He later found out that Linda was fine; she had coughed up the food. But now he’s the office pariah, a monster who “just stood there and walked out” while a coworker was choking. People are suggesting he could have just used his EpiPen “like it’s some kind of undo button.” He’s wrestling with a crushing guilt, wondering if he was ajerk for choosing his own life over the life of his tormentor.
Image credits: asier_relampagoestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP was right to fear for his life so close to peanuts. Mayo Clinic explains that a severe peanut allergy can trigger anaphylaxis, a rapid and potentially fatal reaction where the airway closes. His previous hospitalization from simple cross-contamination proves that even minimal exposure is incredibly dangerous for him. His flight reaction kicked in for the right reasons.
The coworkers’ suggestion that he “could have helped” ignores a fundamental rule of first aid. As the NHS and other first aid organizations make clear, the absolute first step in any emergency is to ensure your own safety. You cannot help someone else if you become a casualty yourself. By approaching a situation that could have triggered his own anaphylactic shock, he could have triggered a second medical emergency.
The most damning part of the story is the coworkers’ suggestion that he could have just used his EpiPen “like it’s some kind of undo button.” This reveals a dangerous ignorance about what an EpiPen actually does. It is not a cure! It is a temporary, emergency treatment to buy a person time to get to a hospital. It’s a painful injection with significant side effects, and using it is much more than a casual inconvenience.
Ultimately, this man was faced with a real-life version of the “trolley problem.” This thought experiment forces a choice between two terrible outcomes. In this case, he had to choose between the possibility of his coworker coming to harm and the very real possibility of his own. His decision to walk was a choice not to sacrifice his own life for the person who had repeatedly shown a callous disregard for it. Fair play!
Do you think he was being unreasonable? Let us know what you would have done in the comments!
The internet, however, unanimously declared him a hero who made the only rational choice
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She brought peanuts despite the notice from HR. She might have died. No sympathy for her.
That office needs to ban peanuts period. Op has rights too, including using the break room. I grew up with a sister with allergies and they are no joke.
From now on you report to HR *every* incident of people (esp. Linda) bringing peanut-based foods into communal areas. Be the squeaky wheel.
An employment lawyer will sort this in 5mins. HR is never your friend and doesn't care if you drop dead unless it means the company can be sued from it.
My thoughts as well. Clearly HR doesn't care if the guy lives or not. Seems to me it could be an ADA issue.
Load More Replies...As like the other post regarding nuts, if some is allergic to peanut,s NOTHING containing nuts should be allowed end off, the mere smell alone can k I l l someone ! this woman was bang outta order, n the others expecting him to risk his own life to save hers ,is l so wrong op NTA the others however huge A holes !
Epipens are NOT cures. They buy a little extra time. If someone around you has to use an Epipen, please call emergency services, because it still may not be enough. I have to keep Epipens around the house and in my purse. It's frightening!
The golden rule of dealing with any medical situation is always "safety first", in the order of the responder, patient, and anybody else. If you put yourself in any unsafe situation, then you are at risk of becoming a patient yourself, which means the emergency services now have two patients to deal with, rather than the one. In this situation I think the OP was more than justified in not assisting - he would not have been the only person who could offer assistance, and was at real risk of becoming a patient himself.
I'd just say, "It looked like you all had it handled. There was no reason for me to risk my health for someone who has blatantly put my health at risk so many times. She's fine so I don't know why you're whining about this now?"
I always read these posts and can't help but to wonder about the incredible timing. Like, she just happens to choke at the exact time he's in the lunchroom grabbing his lunch, conveniently the only one trained in CPR, and it just so happens to be a day where she brought a peanut dessert in so he knows she's choking on peanuts. It all just seems too unlikely to me. I'll take my downvotes and leave now.
the only ah comments here was op stating they dont want to teach others cpr because they had to pay for theirs omfg. i know cpr and if anyone wants to learn how to do i will tell them, its a basic skill i think everyone should be aware of, even just to keep someone alive until more help shows up. you never know when you are going to be on either side of that.
It's so annoying when people have to say "throwaway account" when it's pretty obvious if you click on their profile. Also AITA is one of the most popular subs on reddit, and it's such a weirdly specific incident that if his coworkers do stumble across it, then they'll know anyways.
It sounds like battle to the death with the spectators favouring the peanut-toting lady. The OP's colleagues really do sound incredibly callous. So unnecessary. A former colleague of mine told off a man who was p*ssed off that he couldn't eat fish near someone with a deadly allergy.
Understandable he didn't help. Still, s***s to have such a high allergy like that, but truth of the matter, you can't ban people from eating peanutes. More people need to learn what to do in chocking situations.
You absolutely can in a work place /even schools etc it’s in the health and safety laws , in uk they are very strict on this !,
Load More Replies...She brought peanuts despite the notice from HR. She might have died. No sympathy for her.
That office needs to ban peanuts period. Op has rights too, including using the break room. I grew up with a sister with allergies and they are no joke.
From now on you report to HR *every* incident of people (esp. Linda) bringing peanut-based foods into communal areas. Be the squeaky wheel.
An employment lawyer will sort this in 5mins. HR is never your friend and doesn't care if you drop dead unless it means the company can be sued from it.
My thoughts as well. Clearly HR doesn't care if the guy lives or not. Seems to me it could be an ADA issue.
Load More Replies...As like the other post regarding nuts, if some is allergic to peanut,s NOTHING containing nuts should be allowed end off, the mere smell alone can k I l l someone ! this woman was bang outta order, n the others expecting him to risk his own life to save hers ,is l so wrong op NTA the others however huge A holes !
Epipens are NOT cures. They buy a little extra time. If someone around you has to use an Epipen, please call emergency services, because it still may not be enough. I have to keep Epipens around the house and in my purse. It's frightening!
The golden rule of dealing with any medical situation is always "safety first", in the order of the responder, patient, and anybody else. If you put yourself in any unsafe situation, then you are at risk of becoming a patient yourself, which means the emergency services now have two patients to deal with, rather than the one. In this situation I think the OP was more than justified in not assisting - he would not have been the only person who could offer assistance, and was at real risk of becoming a patient himself.
I'd just say, "It looked like you all had it handled. There was no reason for me to risk my health for someone who has blatantly put my health at risk so many times. She's fine so I don't know why you're whining about this now?"
I always read these posts and can't help but to wonder about the incredible timing. Like, she just happens to choke at the exact time he's in the lunchroom grabbing his lunch, conveniently the only one trained in CPR, and it just so happens to be a day where she brought a peanut dessert in so he knows she's choking on peanuts. It all just seems too unlikely to me. I'll take my downvotes and leave now.
the only ah comments here was op stating they dont want to teach others cpr because they had to pay for theirs omfg. i know cpr and if anyone wants to learn how to do i will tell them, its a basic skill i think everyone should be aware of, even just to keep someone alive until more help shows up. you never know when you are going to be on either side of that.
It's so annoying when people have to say "throwaway account" when it's pretty obvious if you click on their profile. Also AITA is one of the most popular subs on reddit, and it's such a weirdly specific incident that if his coworkers do stumble across it, then they'll know anyways.
It sounds like battle to the death with the spectators favouring the peanut-toting lady. The OP's colleagues really do sound incredibly callous. So unnecessary. A former colleague of mine told off a man who was p*ssed off that he couldn't eat fish near someone with a deadly allergy.
Understandable he didn't help. Still, s***s to have such a high allergy like that, but truth of the matter, you can't ban people from eating peanutes. More people need to learn what to do in chocking situations.
You absolutely can in a work place /even schools etc it’s in the health and safety laws , in uk they are very strict on this !,
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