“She Said Someone Would Videotape It For Me”: Man Walks Out Of His Sister’s Wedding After Realizing He’s There As A Babysitter And Not As A Guest
Weddings should be all about celebrating the love between two people. More often than not, however, they’re full of family drama. Whether it’s a drunk uncle, a bossy momzilla, or a cousin making inappropriate remarks—no celebration is safe from sticky situations. But imagine being close to your sibling and wanting to see them reach another milestone in their life, only to realize they invited you to babysit their child.
This is what happened to a 31-year-old man, Technical_Spread1810, whose younger sister got married a few days ago. Having spent “all the money on the ceremony and parties”, the couple decided not to hire a sitter and provided “a huge list of times” when the brother was supposed to watch the baby.
As you can guess, that didn’t sit well with the author. Feeling angry and annoyed that his sister wanted him to miss out on every important part of the celebration, the man slipped away and left. After being accused of ruining the wedding, he turned to the AITA subreddit, asking whether he acted like a jerk. Read on for the whole story.
This man walked out of his sister’s wedding after being treated like a babysitter, gets told he “ruined her wedding”
Image credits: pxhere (not the actual photo)
He turned to the AITA subreddit to ask whether or not he was acting like a jerk
In just one day, the author’s post has amassed 17.6K upvotes and more than 1.4K comments. Most of the commenters sided with the author, deciding he was not in the wrong in this situation. People said that other family members could have taken turns in watching the 1-year-old and that it was inconsiderate of the bride not to ask if OP agrees to babysit beforehand.
After all, why did the woman invite her brother to celebrate this special occasion and then make him miss all of the beautiful moments? “She basically implied you were the least important person for her at the wedding,” one Redditor wrote.
Deciding whether or not to invite young children to a wedding is every couple’s choice. While this occasion is usually dedicated to and celebrated by adults, kids can be a sweet addition to the ceremony. If you eventually decide to have a kid-friendly wedding but wish to avoid any temper tantrums and keep your guests happy, there are a few things you could try.
For example, giving them some “jobs” to do is an easy way to occupy the kids. While there are the traditional roles like the flower girl or the ring bearer, others children could also have some creative duties. They could “hand out the order of service or manage the guest book.” Or perhaps they could be the “‘Chief Fancy Dresser’ in charge of giving out props at the photo booth.”
Another idea would be to create a special children-only area or set up a room with a variety of fun games, books, puzzles, and movies. This way, you can set up a craft corner and let the kids get busy with creating. Needless to say, you should consider finding a sitter to look after the kids. And let’s not forget that there’s always the possibility of hiring a face painter, a magician, or some other person who could entertain the children.
However, if you do not want your crying baby to interrupt your wedding vows, you should hire a babysitter. “Hiring nannies enables guests who might not otherwise be able to come to attend the wedding and be a part of the day. Finally, it alleviates a lot of stress for everyone and ensures the day runs that little bit smoother,” Joanna Chavasse, founder of Freckles Child Care, said.
Whether or not to hire a babysitter on your special day is not at all mandatory or expected, but your guests will greatly appreciate it. This is an easy way to make your loved ones feel relaxed and let them enjoy the day without worrying about missing any meaningful moments.
Redditors seemed to have a lot to say about this and rushed to the author’s defense
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Sister and family are the @ssholes. No family member should be forced to do chores during a wedding that excludes them from the important parts. It's basically telling people that they are tolerated as cheap workers, but aren't a real part of the family.
I mean, come on. Regardless of what you want your "big day" to include, it really seems obvious that planning for your newborn's needs is at the top of your list instead of an afterthought!
This. Clearly, the baby was the afterthought.
Load More Replies...Getting maried with a 1 month old baby is a very bad idea. Babies that age have to be taken apropiate care of, not being carried outside for fresh air. Couldn't they have planned the wedding next year? Was that wedding more important than their own child? I undestand speedy weedings when bride is pregnant and don't want to show the baby bump unmarried... but getting married with an almost newborn instead of actually taking apropiate care of the baby?? What kind of people do that?
Frankly, the only non-a*****e in here probably is the baby. No baby loves to cry; they always do for a reason, even if that reason often is hard to comprehend for an adult. And no baby should be left crying. (Hans is typing this with a small one wrapped into a baby sling.)
I was thinking the same exact thing. Most 1-month olds spend all their time sleeping. Out of three kids, one of mine had an allergy to casein and was in constant pain the first two months before the doctors figured out what was going on. She cried all the time. Constant crying--especially in the first month--is a sign that the baby is not doing well. But I'm guessing this probably didn't occur to parents, considering it didn't even occur to them to hire help to care for her during the wedding.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA and this guy simply needs to change his phone number now since the most important people in his life want to disown him, yet want to blow up his phone for not apologizing about something that wasn't his responsibility to do. Hell, he's the one who should disown his sister, if anything, for treating him worse than dirt. That list alone would have been the "final straw" for me, not the reception. You don't get all painstakingly dressed up for something like this just to end up having to watch the wedding later through someone else's eyes. Screw that. Bravo for walking out.
So...we all know there are always three sides of every story. But if this REALLY went down exactly as the guy claims, them I just don't get what kind of person spends all that money and time planning a wedding but didn't think to hire a nanny for the day. Rude, selfish, and presumptuous to think family should do it--but even more ridiculous and rude that the entire family is ganging up on the guy now. I see where his sister's sense of entitlement comes from.
She did have a plan. Her brother. Some families are like this, they turn one person into the help. The scapegoat comment was right on. I've experienced this in my family and seen it in others.You can go no contact, or spend years having flaming rows to change the dynamic.There is no effective gentle path to changing this behavior.
Load More Replies...Sister and family are the @ssholes. No family member should be forced to do chores during a wedding that excludes them from the important parts. It's basically telling people that they are tolerated as cheap workers, but aren't a real part of the family.
I mean, come on. Regardless of what you want your "big day" to include, it really seems obvious that planning for your newborn's needs is at the top of your list instead of an afterthought!
This. Clearly, the baby was the afterthought.
Load More Replies...Getting maried with a 1 month old baby is a very bad idea. Babies that age have to be taken apropiate care of, not being carried outside for fresh air. Couldn't they have planned the wedding next year? Was that wedding more important than their own child? I undestand speedy weedings when bride is pregnant and don't want to show the baby bump unmarried... but getting married with an almost newborn instead of actually taking apropiate care of the baby?? What kind of people do that?
Frankly, the only non-a*****e in here probably is the baby. No baby loves to cry; they always do for a reason, even if that reason often is hard to comprehend for an adult. And no baby should be left crying. (Hans is typing this with a small one wrapped into a baby sling.)
I was thinking the same exact thing. Most 1-month olds spend all their time sleeping. Out of three kids, one of mine had an allergy to casein and was in constant pain the first two months before the doctors figured out what was going on. She cried all the time. Constant crying--especially in the first month--is a sign that the baby is not doing well. But I'm guessing this probably didn't occur to parents, considering it didn't even occur to them to hire help to care for her during the wedding.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA and this guy simply needs to change his phone number now since the most important people in his life want to disown him, yet want to blow up his phone for not apologizing about something that wasn't his responsibility to do. Hell, he's the one who should disown his sister, if anything, for treating him worse than dirt. That list alone would have been the "final straw" for me, not the reception. You don't get all painstakingly dressed up for something like this just to end up having to watch the wedding later through someone else's eyes. Screw that. Bravo for walking out.
So...we all know there are always three sides of every story. But if this REALLY went down exactly as the guy claims, them I just don't get what kind of person spends all that money and time planning a wedding but didn't think to hire a nanny for the day. Rude, selfish, and presumptuous to think family should do it--but even more ridiculous and rude that the entire family is ganging up on the guy now. I see where his sister's sense of entitlement comes from.
She did have a plan. Her brother. Some families are like this, they turn one person into the help. The scapegoat comment was right on. I've experienced this in my family and seen it in others.You can go no contact, or spend years having flaming rows to change the dynamic.There is no effective gentle path to changing this behavior.
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